More Life, Less Work: The Boundaries You’ve Been Avoiding!

Welcome to another Made for More Monday on the Made for More podcast. This episode is your wake-up call to take your life back from work. Somewhere along the way, we started believing that being busy means we’re doing something right—and that our job deserves unlimited access to our time, energy, and attention. But if you don’t set boundaries, work will take as much as you’re willing to give.

In this episode, we’re talking about what it actually looks like to prioritize your life outside of work—mentally clocking out, setting clear cutoffs, and letting go of the pressure to always be “on.” This is your reminder that your life is meant to be lived, not just squeezed in after work is done.

If you’ve been feeling stretched thin or like your job is taking more than it’s giving, this conversation will help you draw the line. More life and less work doesn’t happen by accident—it happens when you decide to protect your time, your energy, and the life you were made for.

Love, Miranda 

Transcript

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Welcome back to the Made for More podcast. I am your friend and your host, Miranda. And if you tuned in to last week's episode, Permission for the Goals to Change, you are going to absolutely love how this conversation today is so intertwined and a perfect place for us to be coming off the conversation of permission to let your goals change. So today's topic of conversation is one that I think many of us feel, and it's a conversation many of us need to hear, and I know it's one that I need to talk about, but maybe we don't always know exactly how to put all of this into words. So I'm going to try to do this for us. But today we are talking about placing the necessary boundaries in and around your career and your workspace. How knowing when work has started to take more from you than it actually should, and how to navigate making the necessary shifts, especially when you have fear tied to those shifts and those changes. So if you're anything like me, you don't just have a job or have a role or have a career. No, you view it much more than what it actually is because you care deeply about what you do and how you do it. So whether you're someone that's built something or you're growing something, or maybe you're working for someone else, you might feel that your passion can blur the line between dedication and overexertion really quickly. And at first, working hard and overextending yourself feels really good, right? It feels a lot like ambition. It feels a lot like an ambitious spirit. It feels like discipline and determination for growth and hunger for more. It feels like you're doing what you have to do, right? So maybe you feel it's what you have to do to build that business, to gain the clients, to earn those finances or title. Maybe your hustle is actually attached to you feeling worthy. Like if you work hard enough or long enough or you do the most, then maybe you're valuable. But somewhere along the way, if we're not careful, all of this overworking ourselves turns into over-prioritizing work at the expense of everything else within our lives. And the tricky part is that when working or overextending our capacity within the workspace, it doesn't always look obvious to the eye. You know, sometimes it looks like saying, I'm just gonna do this one more thing at the end of my day or the end of my shift. Sometimes it looks like being physically present with your family, but in your mental state, you're still at work, you're still thinking about that conversation, you're still thinking about those emails, or maybe you're even answering calls or texts related to work. Sometimes it looks like putting off your rest. You're staying up later. Maybe you're putting off or skipping your hobbies, meals, skipping meals, or life outside of work because you have now convinced yourself that you can just skip that workout, it's optional, or just eat a quick snack instead of an actual meal, or you're gonna miss church or your kids' game, so that you can continue working hard. And I want to give you a real life example of what this can look like because for me, it didn't all happen all at once or overnight. It actually happened very slowly before I could even realize it. All these little yeses along the way that piled up to overworking and overwhelm of me doing a lot of what I actually do not want to do. It looked like staying 30 minutes later for one client. And in my head, I'm thinking, it's just 30 minutes. It's not that big of a deal. But what I wasn't fully acknowledging is that that 30 minutes later at work actually meant 30 minutes later getting home. 30 minutes later starting my final client of the day. 30 minutes taken away from the time that I could have spent either resting, resetting, or actually being present within my life outside of work. And here's where it started to get compound. Because it's never just one person asking, right? Even if it's just feels like that in the moment, it's one client and then it's another and then it's another. And then it's me saying yes in each individual moment, thinking that it's just a small yes and thinking, oh, it's manageable, thinking that I'm helping another woman or seeing another woman. But in reality, I'm slowly stacking commitments on top of each other. And before I even realize it, I've completely self-sabotaged the cutoff time I told myself and my family that I would honor. Slowly but surely, I'm just not home for dinner or family time and I have nothing left to give them. Not because I didn't care about my boundaries, but because I wasn't prioritizing protecting them consistently. Why? Because I feel bad for saying no. I feel bad for not accommodating people. I feel bad for not having the exact day or the exact time that they're asking for or that they need. I think to myself, well, like that person is just so sweet and I really like her and I really just want to make her happy and I want to keep her as a client. Therefore, I get myself into this position where I'm no longer running my business hours. My clients actually are. And I think that's where a lot of us find ourselves in is just not it's not one big decision that burns us out and gets us far away from our boundaries or goals. It's like a hundred small yeses that slowly pull us away from the life that we are actually trying to build. And another way this showed up for me was with my days off. Like Mondays are my days. Most of you probably know that hairstylists don't typically work Mondays, and most salons are close on Monday. I use my Monday as a day of reset and preparation. I go grocery shopping, I clean, I meal prep. I do all of these necessary things to prepare myself, my family, and my household for the week ahead so that I didn't feel like I was constantly playing ketchup all week long. And honestly, I don't have time to do that. So Mondays are my prep and reset day. But every once in a while, a client would ask me for a Monday. And again, it felt super harmless. It's just this one Monday, but just this one turned into here and there, and here and there turned into multiple Mondays in a row, and then it turned into a client asking for another Monday since they previously got one out of me. And before I knew it, I had given away the very day that kept my life running smoothly. This was the day that supported me and supported my life, the day that helped me show up better, not only for myself, but for everyone else for the rest of the week. And I didn't lose it all at once. I just began to give it a give it away little by little. And I think that's something we really have to pay attention to is are we protecting the things that actually support us and actually support our lives? Or are we slowly giving them away in small pieces? Because the things that look flexible in a moment are often the very things that are holding everything together behind the scenes. It's not just about what we're doing, it's about what we keep saying we're going to change or put a boundary on or put a cap on, and then we don't do that. How many times have you told yourself at the beginning of the year, this year I'm not going to work as late? This year I'm not going to miss my child's game. This year I'm not going to work as many Saturdays. This year I'm going to be more present at home. And you really meant it when you said it. You fully intended to follow through, but then life got busy, work picks up, people start asking for more of your time, and before you know it, six months goes by, and then a whole year goes by, and you are still doing the exact same things you said you did not want to be doing anymore because it does not support the life you want to live. You're still working late, you're still missing dinners, you're still saying yes to Saturdays, you're still missing family time, you're still pushing your life outside of work to the side because you're overwhelmed by how much you're actually working. And we don't always ask to stop and think, like, what is this actually costing me? What is this costing in my life? What is this taking away from? Because yes, you might be keeping your clients so happy and so accommodated. You might be making more money than ever. You might feel like you're doing the right thing by showing up and being available to any and everyone, but at what cost? Because it looks like missing a slow Saturday morning at home. It looks like missing breakfast with your family that you could have had, but you're already at work. It looks like missing family activities, events, and moments that you don't get a second chance for. It looks like not being home for dinner during the week and rushing through your evenings or feeling like you're constantly trying to catch up on life that you barely have time to live. And here's the part that I think really gets me. One of the biggest reasons many of us have chose to be self-employed was for the freedom. The freedom of the flexibility within your schedule, the freedom of our time, the freedom to build a life that actually feels good, the freedom of yes, the freedom to say yes, I want to go to muffins with mom at my kids' school, and I don't have to ask anybody for it. And yet, if we are not very, very careful, we end up giving that freedom right back away. Like, and all it takes is just piece by piece, client by client, yes by yes, until we've built a schedule that actually works for everyone else, but it doesn't work for us. So at some point we have to ask ourselves: am I actually building a life that I want to live? Or am I just building a business that everyone else gets to benefit from? Because if your work is costing you your presence, your peace, your people, your health, your rest, your hobbies, and your time, then please know that that is not sustainable whatsoever. It's not sustainable at all. And more importantly, that's not the life that you were trying to create in the first place, was it? So the question becomes how do we actually put a boundary in place and get our time back? Because it's one thing to recognize the problem that's in place, and it's another thing to actually change it. And I think the first step is this you have to decide what you are no longer available for, not based on what other people want from you, but based on the life that you are actually trying to live in. And that might look like I'm not I'm no longer working past this time on these days. I'm no longer giving up my off day, my Mondays. I'm no longer working every Saturday. And here's the part that matters the most. You have to choose this before you're in the moment. Because if you wait until somebody asks you for that moment, you'll respond from a place of maybe emotion or guilt or pressure or being on the spot. But when you've already decided what you wanted, you respond out of clarity. So the second step is going to be this: you have to communicate it and you need to make it clear. This is not about being harsh. It's not about having an attitude or not willing to do something. You're just being clear because people will not know what you do not tell them. And if you've been super flexible in the past, you might have to reset all of their expectations on what you can and cannot do. So that can sound like, hey, I've updated my schedule and I'm no longer booking Mondays. Period. It could look like I would love to book you as my latest appointment of the day, but that happens to be at such and such time so that I can be home with my family. Period. It can look like not responding to a text at 10 p.m. or on a holiday because you don't have to. Respond the following day during simple working hours. All you have to do is make it super simple, super clear, and respectful. And then the third step, and honestly, the hardest part of it all, is you're going to have to be a person that holds that boundary because people are still going to ask the most of you. And they're not doing anything wrong. They're just operating off of what they've experienced from you before. And this is where the shift is going to happen. So instead of bending or instead of feeling the need to overexplain yourself or over-explain why you're doing it the way you're doing it, instead of making an exception for just this one person or just this one circumstance, you now choose to honor what you said you would honor. And listen, this doesn't mean that you never make space for people, but it does mean that your life is no longer built around constant accommodations of everyone else's time above your own. And here's what I want you to understand: getting your time back isn't about becoming unavailable altogether and not caring. It's about becoming intentional with your time and the things in your life that deserve your time and your energy. This is about creating a schedule that supports your life, not one that constantly competes with it. Because at the end of the day, your clients are going to adjust. Your schedule will stay filled. Your business will continue to run. But those moments within your family, your rest, your life outside of work, those are the things that you're not ever going to get back. So if you're going to start somewhere, start by deciding that your time also matters too. And for me, this got extremely personal because I had to sit down and I had to really ask myself, who am I outside of work, outside of my business, outside of my brand? What kind of life am I actually trying to live? And am I living in it? Because if I'm not careful, my work will take every piece of me because I pour so much into it. And it'll take every piece of me that I'm willing to give to it. So personally, I need my Mondays. I need that day to reset, to grocery shop, to clean, meal prep, prepare for a busy week so I don't feel like I'm constantly behind. I need to prioritize my workouts. Like they are a non-negotiable appointment with myself, and I cannot cancel on that. Not because it's convenient, but because I know it makes me a better human. I need to be home for family dinners, not just physically there with my body, but with enough energy, attention, and intention to actually be present with my people, to talk with them, to connect with them, to love them, to show up for them, to listen to them. And I need and deserve my Saturdays after 14 years behind the chair. I need a morning one day a week that is not rushed, a day that lets me breathe, sleep in, do whatever I want to do. So by the time I get to Sunday, that I actually want to get up and go to church. Not because I'm forcing it, but because I've actually had a day of rest and reset. Because all of these things, they don't take away from my work. They actually make me better. They make me a better wife, a better mother, a better hairstylist, and a better version of myself. And I don't want to be so overextended with work that I don't want to pick up the phone and talk to a friend because I can't handle another conversation today. I don't want to give so much of myself all day that I come home with nothing left to give the people that I love the most. I don't want my family getting my little bitty leftovers and a burnout version of me. So for me, this isn't just about boundaries. This is about protecting the version of myself that my life actually needs and my life actually deserves. And maybe for you, it looks a little different, but the question here is the same. What do you need to be your best self? And what are you what are you doing to protect that? And are you giving too much of it away? Because at the end of the day, your work will always ask for more of you, but your life, your life is quietly waiting on the side for you to actually choose it. And you get to decide that you are going to choose it. And I want to say something to you, especially if you are struggling to create boundaries within your workspace. I hope this next segment brings you some type of freedom and honestly removes the guilt that you feel around making the necessary changes within the workspace or career you're in. And I want you to think about it like this if a store that you shop at says that they are open from 10 to 7, that means you cannot shop there at 9 a.m. or at 8 p.m. Why? Because the doors are going to be locked, the lights are going to be off, the employees are going to be gone, and the store is closed. And you don't take that personally, do you? No. You don't expect them to open up just for you just because it works for you. You don't even question it. You simply understand they are closed. I will come back when they are open. I'll come back tomorrow. Now I want you to think about a place like Chick-fil-A. We all know they are closed every single Sunday. So if you wake up on a Sunday and you're craving a chicken sandwich that day from Chick-fil-A, it really does not matter. It doesn't matter if it's the most convenient day for you to go get a chicken sandwich. It doesn't matter if that's when you have time to go. Regardless, Chick-fil-A is not opening the doors on Sunday, no matter how much it might actually work for you. They don't say, okay, yeah, just this one time we'll open on the day we're supposed to be closed, or, oh, that works better for you. Yep, we'll make an exception. No, they have a standard and they have a protocol and a clear boundary in place. And over time, you know what they've done? They have trained us all to respect and understand that the boundary is Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays. We don't question it anymore. We just adjust, and then guess what? We wait until Monday when they are open again. And in the same way, you are allowed to do this within your own life and within your own work, whether you are salary, hourly, self-employed, you are allowed to have a boundary. You are allowed to have a closing time. You are allowed to have days off and days that are absolutely off the table and off limits, no matter who they work for. You are allowed to say, this is when I'm available and this is when I am not, even if it doesn't work for everybody else. Because here's the thing: it's not that people won't respect boundaries. It's that they can't respect boundaries that either they don't know of or they don't think exist. So if everything feels open and available to them at all times, people will treat it like it's open and available all at all times. But when you decide, hey, this is no longer an option and you treat it that way, other people will begin to treat it that way too. They'll begin to understand the boundary. And you don't need to feel the need to overexplain why you're closed on that day or why you're unavailable. You really don't. You don't need to justify why you can't be there or why you are closed. You just need to decide: hey, these are my hours, this is my availability, and this is when I'm closed, and when I'm closed, I am closed. So as we close today, I want to leave you with this question. What small tweaks can you start making today to put healthy boundaries around your work and your career life? What can you shift just ever so slightly so that you can have time for your family? How can you make time for rest and recovery? How can you have time to actually know who you are and what you enjoy outside of your roles of your job so that you don't wake up one day and realize that you have missed the people and the moments that mattered the most? What can you do to make a shift that will truly honor you and the life that you want to live? What would honor your time, your energy, and your well-being? Because at the end of the day, work will be there. There will always be more to do. There will always be more people to serve, more opportunities to say yes to. And yes, all of that matters. It absolutely does. But guess what? It's not everything. And while it might feel very uncomfortable to admit, you are very replaceable at work. No matter what job, what career, what title, what role you hold, you are absolutely replaceable. Even if you run your own business, you're repa replaceable. People can pick somewhere else. No matter what you do, wherever you are, there will always be someone else who can fill that role. But the role that you are called to fill within your life, your health, your family, your friendships, to the people that love and rely on you, your household, that is irreplaceable. It is not replaceable. And you deserve more than just getting by day to day. You deserve more than just scraping the little leftover bits of your energy and giving it to the life that you wish that you could give energy to. You deserve a life outside of work, one that actually feels light and feels full and feels energizing because you actually have the energy available to live it. So let this be a reminder that you don't have to earn that rest, you don't have to earn that time off, you don't have to earn that friendship, you don't have to justify all of your boundaries, you don't have to give everything you have to your work to prove your worth. You get to choose something different. You get to choose a different way. One that actually supports the life that feels balanced and well managed because you were made for more and you always have been.