The Men We Needed: What Makes A Man?

What makes a man?

Is it strength?
 Success?
 Power?
 Control?

Joseph’s story offers a different answer.

Betrayed by his brothers. Sold into slavery. Falsely accused. Forgotten in prison. Joseph faced rejection, injustice, disappointment, and heartbreak at nearly every turn.

Yet he refused to become bitter.

In the opening episode of The Men We Needed, we explore the life of a man whose character was forged through adversity and whose response to pain changed generations.

Together, we’ll examine what true strength looks like, why integrity matters when no one is watching, and how forgiveness can become one of the greatest acts of courage a person can choose.

Joseph’s story reminds us that manhood is not defined by power—it is revealed through character.

Join us as we begin a journey through the lives of biblical men whose stories still speak to the challenges, struggles, and hopes of men today.

Because the men we needed were never perfect.

They were willing to grow.

Transcript

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Hi, and welcome back to The Right Voice. I'm your host, Jessica. And if you're walking alongside me or joining in for the first time, thank you so much for being here. This is week one of The Men We Needed, Insight into Identity, Betrayal, Emotional Resilience, Forgiveness, and Healing, all inspired by the story of Joseph. Now, this series has been sitting on my heart for a long time because I think conversations about men are either too harsh or too shallow. June represents two things for men. We have Father's Day for the Dads and Men's Mental Health Month. And if we think about what men carry in terms of enormous emotional weight, it allows us to focus on the cultural conditioning. The cultural teachings of what it takes to be a man is usually associated with work, provision, suppressing emotion, enduring pressure, but not always how to process grief, communicate pain, feel safe emotionally, or even asking for help and support. Both are equally important because unprocessed pain doesn't disappear. It just changes shape. Unprocessed pain can show up as anger, emotional withdrawal, isolation, work addiction, control, silence, shame, and numbness. This series is about understanding the emotional and spiritual realities many men carry. And today, we begin with Joseph. Joseph's story captures dreams, betrayal, abandonment, temptation, false accusations, loneliness, leadership, forgiveness, and healing. And the most important question Joseph's story asks is what actually makes a man? When we first meet Joseph in Genesis thirty-seven, he's seventeen years old. One of the key components to this story is that Scripture allows us to meet Joseph before suffering shapes him. Every man was once a boy, a boy that had tenderness, dreams, fear, sensitivity, longing, and innocence. Before the world told him who he needed to become. Joseph is extremely loved by his father, Jacob. In Genesis thirty seven three, we learn Jacob loved Joseph more than his other sons, and he gave him a richly ornamented robe, and that robe becomes symbolic to his identity. Joseph is fully seen, known, and valued. Joseph dreams of his brothers bowing before him, and this dream is indicative of purpose. Now Joseph handles this immaturely at times. He lacks wisdom and he tells his brothers. And although it's true, what's also true is sometimes we criticize people for not yet possessing the maturity suffering eventually teaches them. Joseph is still becoming a man, and it's really important to understand that because so many young men are still becoming too. So let's reflect on this question for a second. How quickly do boys learn to disconnect from tenderness and compassion? When do young boys learn not to cry or feel too much? When do they learn that feeling is equivocal to appearing weak? When do they learn that fear doesn't require admission and that they don't need to be comforted? Over time, performance replaces authenticity. And what's more important about Joseph's story is this he begins as emotionally open, and he never fully loses the ability to feel. So jumping right back into his story, Joseph's brothers become jealous, and that jealousy slowly evolves into hatred, and eventually they decide to destroy him. And let's be honest here, betrayal by strangers hurts, but betrayal by family that changes people. In Genesis thirty seven twenty three, Joseph's brothers strip him of his robe and then they throw him into a pit. Joseph's life changes in one afternoon. One moment he's the favored son, and the next he's abandoned in darkness by the very people who should have protected him. I can imagine he loses his identity, his feeling of security, and his sense of belonging. I wonder how many men know what emotional pits feel like, yet don't talk about it. How many men experience the emotional pits of rejection, abandonment, humiliation, failure, emotional neglect, shame, loneliness? What's devastating about Joseph's story is that his brothers sit down and eat while he cries out from the pit. How heartbreaking is it to suffer while others continue on unaffected. Eventually, Joseph is sold into slavery, and this is the part of the story that forces us to confront something uncomfortable. Extremely painful things happen to good people, and yet God does not abandon Joseph in the pit. I think many men learn early on that vulnerability feels unsafe, so instead of processing pain, they compartmentalize it. But buried pain does not stay buried forever. It leaks into marriages, parenting, emotional intimacy, anger, isolation, and self worth. Joseph could have become hardened, and many of us would understand if he did. But one of the most compelling parts of his story and his suffering is that he doesn't disconnect from compassion. Later we learn that Joseph weeps openly, he still feels deeply, he shows mercy, he protects others, and he remains emotionally accessible. What a huge contrast in comparison to cultural ideas about masculinity. Culture often tells men strength means emotional absence. Joseph proves otherwise. Strength is not the inability to feel. In opposition, true strength is remaining compassionate after life gives you every reason not to be. Joseph eventually rises in Potiphar's house. In Genesis thirty nine, Joseph begins rebuilding his life after trauma, but then other challenges come. Temptation. Potiphar's wife repeatedly pursues Joseph. Joseph continuously refuses because integrity matters to him. Integrity is one of the clearest markers of maturity, especially when nobody is watching. Joseph understands something very insightful. Character is who you are in private. Well Potiphar's wife falsely accuses him of trying to sleep with her, and Joseph does the right thing and he flees her and still suffers for it. Joseph ends up in prison again, another pit, another season of limitation that he didn't deserve. But even there, God is still with him. Joseph spends years waiting, unseen and forgotten. And waiting changes people, especially when life feels unfair. Dreams are delayed, recognition never comes, prayers feel unanswered. In Genesis forty twenty three, Joseph interprets dreams for others in prison and eventually one man promises, I'll remember you. But he doesn't. He forgets Joseph. Imagine what it feels like to be forgotten. And even so, Joseph keeps growing instead of collapsing into bitterness. Bitterness often begins when pain convinces us nothing good can come from this. Joseph refuses to let suffering define him permanently. In Genesis forty one, Joseph rises to power in Egypt, and now he finally has control. This is where character becomes visible. Joseph's brothers come before him needing food, and Joseph has every opportunity to humiliate them, punish them, retaliate, become cruel. But Joseph weeps repeatedly because beneath his leadership his heart still fills. That may be one of the most masculine things in Scripture. Emotional honesty paired with wisdom. In Genesis 5020, Joseph says, You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good. This verse is about refusing to let trauma become the final author of your life. Joseph doesn't erase the pain, he redeems it. Emotional evolution is acknowledging the wound and refusing to live in prison by it. So what does Joseph teach us about what makes a man? He shows us men feel deeply, they grieve honestly, they stay compassionate, they remain faithful, and can still be incredibly strong. His true strength is in the capacity of compassion, resilience, forgiveness, presence, integrity, gentleness, and emotional transparency. He doesn't suppress emotionally, exercise dominance or control, and he doesn't focus on performance and personal responsibility to win the favor of others. So today, if you're the exhausted father, the emotionally overwhelmed husband, the man trying to heal in solitude, the son carrying old wounds, the man who feels unseen, the man terrified of failing people he loves. You're not weak because you feel. Healing does not make you less of a man. It may actually make you more whole. Next week we continue The Men We Needed with Adam. And we're asking, why do men disappear emotionally? We'll talk about shame, hiding, emotional avoidance, fear, silence, vulnerability, and why so many men struggle to stay emotionally present when life feels overwhelming. And until next time, be expressive with your story. You have space to be seen, known, and valued. I'll meet you here next week. Take care.