Project Candor: Ordinary People. Unexpected Stories

Can Dementia Be Delayed? with Lisa Skinner | Ship's Log #27

• Jeanne Andersen • Season 1 • Episode 27

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"They may not recognize your face. They may not know your name — depending on the day. But they will remember for a long time how you made them feel." — Lisa Skinner 

Episode Summary 

What does it actually mean when a doctor says 'Alzheimer's'? Lisa Skinner has spent 50 years answering that question — first as a teenage granddaughter watching her grandmother describe birds living in her mattress, and later as one of the world's leading dementia behavioral specialists. In this episode, she cuts through five decades of myth and fear with the clarity that only comes from having lived it. 

Lisa unpacks the difference between normal aging forgetfulness and the early warning signs that actually warrant concern — and she names the medical conditions (including a UTI) that can look exactly like dementia but are completely treatable. She explains why 62% of primary care physicians are still behind the curve, and why that makes patient self-advocacy more critical than ever. The conversation goes deep on one of the most painful moments in the dementia journey: when a loved one no longer recognizes you — and Lisa's 'light switch' analogy may permanently change the way you understand it. 

They also play Two Truths and a Lie — and it turns out Lisa's life has included a pet mountain lion, a near-miss with a rattlesnake, and a hike that may or may not have ended in a lake in Tahoe. Jeanne guesses right. 

 Guest Bio 

Lisa Skinner is a two-time international bestselling author and behavioral specialist with over 30 years of experience in Alzheimer's disease and related dementia. She is a Certified Dementia Practitioner, host of the Truth, Lies & Alzheimer's Show, and an internationally recognized TEDx speaker. She has appeared in Forbes Celebrity Magazine and on the NASDAQ Times Square display. 

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Jeanne

Welcome to Project Candor, where ordinary people share unexpected stories that shift how we see life, resilience, and what it means to be human. I'm Jeanne, Admiral of the Unexpected, and today

Intro

Jeanne

we're speaking with an extraordinary voice in the world of dementia care. Lisa Skinner is an internationally two-time best-selling author and behavioral specialist focused on Alzheimer's disease and related dementias. With more than 30 years of experience supporting families and caregivers, she brings both depth and compassion to one of the most challenging journeys a loved one can face. Lisa is a certified dementia practitioner, certified dementia care trainer, and certified dementia care program director. She is also the host of the Truth, Lies, and Alzheimer's show, an internationally recognized TEDx speaker, and has been featured in national and global media, including Forbes Celebrity Magazine and on the NASDAQ Times Square Bulletin display. Lisa, welcome to Project Cander. This is going to be a great show.

Lisa Skinner

Yes, I'm excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me. And thank you for that

Lisa Skinner Joins the Conversation

Lisa Skinner

amazing introduction.

Jeanne

Hey, that's you. You've done all that. So I mean, I just wanted to make sure the listeners know exactly all your successes and know that you're an expert as we get into some of these hard questions and discussions. It was hard. It was almost a tongue twister sometimes. Yeah. So uh the way we're gonna get started is I'm gonna kick it off and start with some questions. And then of course we know we're gonna transition to Two Truths and a lie, but we just want to get to know you a little better. So you ready? Yeah, ready. Great. So Lisa, you've worked with caregivers and families for over three decades. When someone first hears the word Alzheimer's or dementia, what is the biggest misconception that holds them back from responding well?

Lisa Skinner

That is a great question. And it is probably something that weighs on most people's minds. So it kind of depends on what context they are concerned about it.

The Biggest Misconception About Alzheimer's

Lisa Skinner

So can I give you a couple of examples? Oh, please. Yes. So I do a lot of speaking engagements, and one of the things that people they'll come up to me after the talk and they'll literally stand in line and almost whisper to me, you know, I'm starting to notice a little bit of memory problems. Like I'll walk into a room and I'll forget why I went in there, and you know, I put my phone down and I have to call it to find it again. Do you think this might mean that I'm developing Alzheimer's disease? And statistically, and this is a fairly new statistic, but for people 55 and older, it is the number one fear right now. For people, they think that they will end up with Alzheimer's disease or one of the other hundred or so brain diseases that we know causes neurodegenerative decline. So if it's in that context, then I explain to them about normal aging forgetfulness, nothing to worry about. It happens to all of us, starting at about the age 40 or so. And then there's an intermediary stage called mild cognitive impairment. So I'll explain that. And then we have full-blown dementia, and full-blown dementia is caused by one of these brain diseases, like Alzheimer's. That's the most common one. But like I said, there's over a hundred. So if it's in that context, then I kind of, you know, put their anxiety to ease by explaining that, hey, once in a while, if you just walk into a room, it happens to me all the time, and you look around and you cannot, for the life of you, remember why you walked in there and you start walking down your hall. Oh, yeah, now I remember, that's perfectly normal. We call that normal aging forgetfulness. I call them little memory hiccups, and that is no reason for concern. This is probably the most concise way I can answer your question. If your memory hiccups, your memory failure from time to time is becoming more frequent and more severe, and it is starting to interfere with your daily life. Like you're really struggling to balance your checkbook, compile a simple grocery list, forget where you parked your car in a parking lot to the extreme, then I would say those could be red flags and you may want to now consult with your physician. If it is a family and they get a recent Alzheimer's diagnosis, probably one of the biggest myths that I have been hearing for over 30 years is that okay, my mom's life's over, or my dad's life is over. I've got Alzheimer's, we know there's no treatment, we know there's no cure, and we don't know what to do and what to expect on this journey. I can honestly tell you that experiencing and working with thousands of people that have lived with Alzheimer's disease and dementia, it is not the end of their life. There are so many tools and skills and knowledge that we have now that we are enabled to provide people who live with these brain diseases with such a higher quality of life than ever before, filled with meaning, with purpose, with dignity, that really until they progress to the very end stage of these diseases, they can have really, really fulfilling lives. And that's probably one thing that I want people to be aware of. Because most people, when their first reaction is a doom and gloom reaction, and it is a long progressive journey. My grandmother, for example, lived with it for 20 years. That's a long time to maintain a relationship with a person in a harmonious way with all the behaviors and the peculiarities that show up as a result of the changing brain from the disease. So if that puts anybody's concerns even a little bit at ease, this is what I have experienced. And this is actually what I practice is empowering people to know how to provide the best type of environment for people living with cognitive impairment.

Jeanne

Wonderful, wonderful information and answer. You had me laughing because I would have been the person in line going, I would have waited for you to tell me whether or not all the times I go walking around this house and I forget what I'm doing.

Lisa Skinner

Well, guess what? I would be a person that person in line too if I didn't know what I know, because I can honestly tell you that every time I have a little memory hiccup, that thought does enter my mind. Uh-oh.

Jeanne

My husband's younger than me, yeah, 14 years younger than me, actually, which is pretty cool. But uh, I'm always telling him, oh, I have something's wrong with me. And he's like, no, I just did that yesterday. And, you know, and it puts me back into reality. But I know it got better for me when I got away from a lot of stress. So I wonder if that also causes people to just be forgetful. I mean, if you're overwhelmed and you're trying to multitask a million things, then yeah, well, you're gonna drop one of them.

Lisa Skinner

Many,

UTIs, Thyroid Conditions, and What Mimics Dementia

Lisa Skinner

many studies have been done on stress related to memory impairment. And there is definitely a correlation. But what a lot of people don't realize, there are other medical conditions that can also mirror similar symptoms to dementia symptoms. And a couple of those is like a urinary tract infection. If it goes untreated, it turns into sepsis, which means the infection gets into our bloodstream and it mimics very similar symptoms that we see with Alzheimer's disease and other brain diseases that cause dementia. The difference is it can be treated with antibiotics.

Jeanne

Wait, before you go on, I have to just make this interjection here because you're just blowing me away. Because my sister had a UTI and she couldn't remember where her car was in the parking lot. And she had to call her daughter, I think. I don't, I don't remember the whole thing. But she was petrified and it was a UTI. Now she's fine. Yes. But I had no idea. I kind of thought she was nuts. I was we were all thinking, well, maybe something is wrong, right? But um, I had no idea there was a correlation with that. I can't wait to call her after this. Yeah.

Lisa Skinner

And the difference is when it results from like a urinary tract infection, the symptoms come on pretty quickly, like within 48 hours, once it gets into the blood. Dementia, Alzheimer's disease-related dementia does not happen that quickly. It's a very, very slow burn. Yeah. One other common medical condition I'll tell your audience about, because a lot of people suffer from this condition and it's a thyroid condition. But again, just like a urinary tract infection, it's treatable. So if all of a sudden you start like severely forgetting things and you have like really noticeable uh memory decline that just kind of came out of nowhere, you might want to check with your physician and be tested for a urinary tract infection, a thyroid condition. There are several other things, but to answer your initial question, stress. We know that COVID-19, one of the, you know, for a lot of people, one of the permanent or really long-term side effects is brain fog and memory issues. Some people have fully recovered from those. And some people, even though they may have had COVID-19 years ago, are still struggling with memory issues. We don't know a lot about that one yet. And if the people who are still struggling with it can be reversed. But UTIs and thyroid conditions and some of these other underlying medical conditions that mimic dementia symptoms can be cured because the cause is from something treatable.

Jeanne

Wow. So, you know, I'm going off script here because I had questions for you, but you're just blowing my mind here with some of this stuff. I really don't think physicians are well, I know that they're nice and all, and they prescribe and they talk to you a little bit, but they don't spend the time like you're just doing right now saying about the UTI, about the thyroid, about stress-related um issues that might appear as dementia Alzheimer's and scare someone. They don't spend that time.

Lisa Skinner

It's true what you're saying, and it's probably one of the biggest complaints that people have. And one of the reasons why is physicians really don't get any training on dementia symptoms and that there are other other underlying reasons that mimic them. I saw a statistic oh, maybe six, seven, eight months ago uh from the World Health Organization, and I was blown away. It said that 62% of primary care physicians today still believe that normal aging forgetfulness, what we've been talking about, is or that Alzheimer's disease is related to normal aging and that it's not a separate brain disease that's attacking our different parts of our brain, depending on what brain disease it is. That absolutely like flabbergasted me that in 2026, a lot of physicians are still that behind the eight ball that they think it's normal aging. It's no. So there's a lot that we need to catch up on, and this is one of the reasons why I speak at a lot of medical conventions. And a lot of these physicians tell me that, Lisa, what you shared today, I had no idea. Because they really don't receive training in this arena, and it's passed on to the patients and the families, and it's you know, it's creates an even harder situation for people than it already is.

Jeanne

Absolutely. So I shouldn't be mad at my doctor when he just but he shouldn't like just swipe things away because, oh well, different aging things. Because I I do have, and this has nothing related to dementia, but you know, I did have them telling me, oh, you need uh back surgery or whatever. And but they sent me a rehab. I got to rehab, and the guy isolated a muscle that was just stuck. Oh. And he started massaging it, and then he started giving me exercises where I strengthened it. I don't even have any back pain anymore. I didn't need to have a stupid surgery, which I did not want to have because I've got horror stories about I see people having them and taking months to recover. And it's just like this guy, this therapist, must have done extra research because he actually told me a solution that was non-surgical. Went back to the doctor, he's like, Well, good for that. You know, I was like, Don't you even want to know?

Lisa Skinner

You know, one of the things that I've learned in my lifetime, and you probably have too, it sounds like it, in today we really have to be our own advocates for our health care. And if that means getting second opinions or challenging them, or knowing that a UTI urinary tract infection or a thyroid condition can mimic dementia symptoms, we need to bring that up. It's like, wait a minute. I have learned that a urinary tract infection, once it gets into the blood, if it goes untreated, can mimic dementia, but it comes on much quicker. Can we test me for a UTI? That's why knowledge is so powerful, because if we don't know these things, we won't know to ask and challenge our doctors who absolutely, you know, most of them are aware of that, but the ones who aren't will dismiss it. It's like they wouldn't even think to test you for that because maybe they're they're not aware that a person psyche can come on like they have full-blown dementia, like mid-stage to later stage, but it's a urinary tract infection that needs antibiotic treatment. And I've seen hundreds of these cases over the 30 years. Hundreds.

Jeanne

Well, I'm waiting for more information out on the web, but my husband makes me mad sometimes because when I say, Oh, I don't feel good, this is wrong, and then he'll say, Well, what has your Google doctor told you? Because he says, Do you have to amputate your leg? Because like, you know, it gives you all kinds of false information out there as well. But I mean, it you do have places you can go to, and so uh you're just one of those stops that people need to go to for definitely for this kind of information.

A Family's 50-Year Journey With Alzheimer's

Lisa Skinner

Yeah, that's uh precisely why I do what I do. It's because, well, I've I actually was introduced to Alzheimer's disease 50 years ago. That was my first experience. It was with my grandmother. And I was, you know, a teenager, and I was completely caught off guard and unprepared when she started telling me about these birds living in her mattress, and they'd come out at night and peck her face, and she asked me if I saw all the rats running around her floors. Turns out she was diagnosed with senile dementia, which is synonymous with Alzheimer's disease. And then I ended up making it a career to help other families. But one of the things that's been consistent within that entire 50 year span since my grandmother is there's so much false information out there, myths and stigmas and things that have been circulating around for that period of time and probably before, that it's almost impossible to separate fact from fiction. So I wanted to become a reliable resource for people. And that's why I do the podcast and the TV show and tell the truth and provide information that's accurate and not harmful, like all these myths are out there that just make life even more difficult if your family is touched by this disease than it already is because of false information.

Jeanne

Wow. And it's very sad that you had to deal with this with your grandmother because it sounded like that was something that really tortured her. That's a horrible kind of feeling to be in, thinking that there were animals crawling on the floor and birds in her mattress. I mean, that that seems like the worst of the world.

Lisa Skinner

Well, I've actually had eight family members who have lived with it. My grandmother was the first, and then there were seven more. So it's yeah, it's been a primary focus in our family. And so I totally relate to what everybody I've had a front row seat many times over with heartbreak when it comes to this disease. I even had a dog that had dementia.

Jeanne

Oh, we did too, actually. Go ahead and tell your story on that. On the dog? Yeah, because that was interesting. I didn't even understand that when we had him, but the vet said, your dog has dementia. Yeah, yeah.

Lisa Skinner

And when my dog Oliver, who is a uh cockapoo, was about 13 or 14, he started doing some really peculiar things, behaviors, and they were so similar to what I see in human beings that the thought crossed my mind, does this dog have doggy dementia? I didn't even know dogs got dementia. Me either until we experienced it too. Yeah. But, you know, he'd get stuck in corners and couldn't figure out how to turn himself around. You know, he started having house accidents that he hadn't had for a long time. He was confused. He just all a lot of similar symptoms that I've seen in humans. So I took him to the vet. And I said, Am I just reading into this because this is what I do professionally? And he put him Oliver through a few tests and he said, No, Lisa, you are not reading into anything. Oliver has what we call K9 cognitive dysfunction, aka doggy dementia. And he said it's common in around 50% of dogs over the age of about 12 or 13. I said, You're kidding. That was what our age of our dog was 13 when he got it. So it's very common. Unbelievable. Yeah. But at least I know how to take care of him. And he lived till he was 18 and a half.

Jeanne

Well, ours didn't live that much longer afterwards, but that was only because we lived in a place where if he wandered off, he could have fallen in a prairie dog hole. We were in Wyoming. My nightmare of a life. But um in Wyoming, prairie dog holes are like massive. And then um there's coyotes and you know, wolves out there that um if he had wandered off, he would have gotten, you know, just eaten. So we had to be careful for him. We didn't think it was safe for him to live much longer. He he stayed till about 14, but he was getting real bad.

Lisa Skinner

That's a real concern because humans wander off all the time and just in a heartbeat will forget who they are, where they are. They can't tell anybody their address or how to get home or who their family members are. So if it can happen. To people with dementia, it certainly is true of dogs that they would really be putting themselves in harm's way if they wandered off and then just had no idea how to get to a safe place.

Jeanne

Yeah, that's true. That's what the vet told us. And they said, you know, he's they said you gotta think about it. It was hard, hard, hard for all. Because animals can't talk, and they're just a little bit different. Well, definitely they're different than humans, but they're just a little bit different on how to com they communicate with you. So we were scared for that.

Lisa Skinner

I don't blame you. Yeah. We kept a close eye on Oliver. We kept him in the house and we didn't let him go out without a leash after he was diagnosed because of the same concerns you had. Yeah.

Jeanne

Yeah, our dog was called Dunn, but it was because we had two dogs. We named them Brooks and Dunn. I don't know if you like country music, but Oh, they're one of my favorite country duos.

Lisa Skinner

I've loved them for decades.

Jeanne

I know. So I don't know why we did it, but we named a weave and register of AKC Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn, uh Anderson. I love it. They were awesome. Unfortunately, Brooks had died of kidney failure. It was at seven, but um Dunn lasted so long, and then he was so wonderful, wonderful. And he sang. It was so funny. He sang all the time. And Brooks was black and white, you know, just like Kix Brooks, his dark hair. And then Dunn was kind of reddish tan, kind of like Ronnie Dunn. But he sang all the time. It was amazing. And his favorite song, and I've said this on another podcast, was Old Susanna. So if I sang it, that dog would jump up on his hind legs and dance and dance. Oh, that is so cute. I have no idea why he liked that one. But every time I came home from work, I started singing it and he would just dance like crazy. I was like, yep. And we could say too that we, hey, we're just hanging out with Brooks and Dunn, and people would look at us like we wouldn't explain. We just whatever. It was just fun. That's a great story. But you know, I know it's hard for families, and you know, there's been times like my dad when his father got dementia and he went to visit him, he had to be part of the nursing home, and he didn't know who he was. That's that's just just heart-wrenching. And then I remember my dad's sister, she died in her 90s, which was great. But she toward the last few years, I remember talking with her, and she looked at me and she's like, Now whose daughter are you? And then I said, Jack's daughter, which was my dad, and her brother. I'd say, I'm Jack's daughter, and she'd go, Oh, you are? I had no idea. Jack had a daughter. And it was so sad because she was like my favorite aunt, and there was just, oh, I don't know. It's devastating when that happens, but it seems to happen a lot. And how do you help people deal with that? I mean, and not take it personally, because boy, it's not personal.

When a Loved One Doesn't Recognize You

Lisa Skinner

I have had so many family members over the decades tell me that that's probably one of the hardest things for them that has happened on this journey of theirs with their loved one, their parent or their grandparent, is when they don't recognize them. It hurts to the core because they do take it personally. How can my own mother not recognize me? How can my own grandfather not recognize me? So, what I do is I explain to them why that happens, and it completely changes their understanding of not being recognized, and then they realize it's not personal. So, do you want me to explain?

Jeanne

Yeah, I would love to hear because I mean it just I know it tore my dad up, and I remember tears in his eyes, and he wasn't a crybaby or anything. And then when she said that to me, it was like, I know you're in there, but I I know your memory bank on that one's gone. And I tried to just say, I still love you, you know, but it was hard. So go ahead and help me.

Lisa Skinner

Okay. This has helped a lot of people. I came up with kind of a an analogy to help people understand. It's not true of every single brain disease that causes dementia, but it is true and very common with Alzheimer's disease and some of the others. The hallmark of Alzheimer's disease is short-term memory loss first. That's the part of the brain that Alzheimer's disease pretty much damages first. So during this process, long process, we go through several stages of progression. So there's mild stage, there's the middle stage, and then there's the late or very severe stage. So as the brain continues to be damaged, the short-term memory, think of it like it's hooked up to a light switch. And when that light switch is on, our short-term memories are functioning normally.

The Light Switch Analogy

Lisa Skinner

But as the damage becomes more severe, so around the mid-stage, that light switch flips on and off, on and off, on and off continuously. And then by the late stage, for some people it's off completely. They have no short-term memory whatsoever, it's gone. Some people you can still kind of get a flicker out of their short-term memory, but it's questionable. So during this mid-stage, when it's on and off, on and off, on and off, we kind of have to go by the cues of what they're saying to us so we can tell if their short-term memory has kind of short-circuited for that moment, because what we know is our long-term memory stays intact right to the end. So when that short-term memory malfunctions, that person is pulling from their long-term memory. So think of it as like they're they're traveling back in time to a different period of their life, and we don't know what that timeline is. It can change or it can vary from person to person. So let me give you an example. My mother-in-law was one of my family members who had dementia, Alzheimer's disease, and we had her over one weekend. We were watching her, and I was visiting her in the living room, and she seemed to be fine and completely lucid. There were no signs of distress. And then out of nowhere, she pops up from the sofa that she was sitting on and she says to me, I need to go home. I need to go home right now. Somebody has to take me home. I gotta get there. And I said, Marianne, what what's wrong? And she said, I just realized Marty's at home waiting for me, and it's probably close to dinner time. I have to get home and feed my husband his dinner. Now, Marty was my father-in-law, but he was my late father-in-law. He had passed away about four years earlier. Now, in that moment, her short-term memory switched and flipped her off, and she traveled back in time to when her husband was still alive, and she believed a hundred percent that he was at home waiting for her to come home and feed him dinner. Now, what we teach is called join their reality, is to not try to correct people who are having these memory confusion episodes. Because let's say, in my mother-in-law's case, if I had said to her, Marianne, what are you talking about? Don't you remember? Marty passed away years ago. Yeah, he's gone. He's been gone years. That could have ended in a really severe situation where she could have responded back to me saying, What are you talking about? He was fine when I left the house this morning. What happened? Why didn't anybody tell me? I've got to get to

Why "Joining Their Reality" Matters

Lisa Skinner

him. Because in her mind, in her reality, she believes wholeheartedly that he's alive and well and waiting for her at home. So for me to all of a sudden announce to her that he's deceased, could have to put her into a panic or a shock. So these are some of the things that we have to retrain our brains to when it comes to dementia, because it can do a lot of harm to try to correct somebody who believes what they believe at that moment. Now, it's possible, oh, it did happen that I talked her through it and convinced her that it was that he knew she was there at my house and he was perfectly okay with it. And just get home when you're ready and enjoy your visit with your family. With your family, yeah. And she said to me, She goes, Are you sure? Are you sure it's okay? Because you know, I worry about Marty. I said, I'm positive. So she settled back down and then everything was fine. And we call this technique, this this methodology, joining their reality, meeting them where they are. And my cue, my clue that she was not in the present moment was telling me that Marty was waiting for her at home and he was still alive. So I knew that that short-term memory switch had just short-circuited and gone off for however long it was gonna stay off. And she had in her mind she was back uh many years when he was still alive and well. And this happens all the time. So we have to now she could have that memory switch could have flipped back on while she was in my company, and she could have brought it up later saying, you know, I really miss Marty. It's you know, this the last few years have been so hard without him. Then I would have known, based on what she's telling me, that her short-term memory flipped back on, switched back on. So really pay attention to what they're talking about, and you will know if that short-term memory has temporarily malfunctioned and they've traveled back in their mind to another time frame of their life. Some people travel back to their childhood and they are asking for their mommies and their daddies, and why hasn't my mommy picked me up from school yet? So that's your cue or your clue that their short-term memory switch, their short-term memory is malfunctioning and they are back into a different time frame of their life.

Jeanne

So wow. Does this make sense? Yes, it does. And I gotta tell you, I mean, so I had my husband now is my second husband, and I always tell him, This is crazy. It's like I know my grandmother had dementia, I know there's some dementia in our family. If for any reason I ever tell you or call you my first husband or ever tell you anything like I should be back there or be married, please forgive me.

Lisa Skinner

Explain to him if you do, and this is what he can expect to happen. So if I start talking to you as if you're my first husband, it's not me. It's where my mind is living at that moment.

Jeanne

Yeah, that makes it better because to me, it's like you know, the person you love so much, you don't want to hurt them. And I know that people don't want to hurt, you know, their families either, but it's not on them, apparently, the way you're talking about it makes it so clear. You know, one other thing before we switch to our game. I know I have talked to a lot of people that are in like extended living or different homes, and if they have memory issues, you know, they can't, they don't want them cooking, they don't want them, you know, do it, but they can garden. They let them garden that I know they have hydroponics a lot in some of these assisted living places. And the one thing I learned was they have animated or battery-operated pets. I think that is so fantastic. Where they actually have pets that people can hold in their arms and that they purr, like if it's a cat and they wiggle and move, and it gives them that soothing effort that they have a pet. That's the then the caregivers, you know, at the end of the day when they go to bed, they just take them and shut them off, put them in a locker. But for them, it still gives them that quality of life. You talked about that a little bit earlier. Is that one of the things you're saying that you can still have this great quality of life? There's things, tools to help them.

Animatronic Pets and Quality of Life

Lisa Skinner

And this is um one of the reasons why when we people like me who've been trained in what's called a person-centered approach to care, I'm a certified dementia practitioner in that methodology, to know as much as we can possibly know about their lives when they were healthy and do they like dogs, do they like cats? So then if we know that uh the person that we're caring for was an absolute cat lover, we might introduce one of those real life looking cats that purrs and feels soft. One of the things that we don't lose, because it's a very basic human need, is the need to we never lose our instinct for nurturing and for touching and having ourselves soothed and calmed. It's a very bottom basic level of the Maslov's hierarchy of needs. So some people love were dog lovers, some people were cat lovers.

Jeanne

I'd be both, but I'd be happy with an animal. I don't know if I can be without one.

Lisa Skinner

Me too. Me too. I'm I love both all animals, but I'm primarily a dog love.

Jeanne

Yes.

Lisa Skinner

But there is kind of a trick to introducing something like that. The one thing I wanted to comment on, depending on the person, because everybody's different and everybody experiences their dementia journey differently. Some people with dementia believe that that cat is real and they take care of it like it is a real cat, and other people living with dementia know it's not a real animal, but it's serving a purpose of comforting them and being a companion to them and making them feel good. And one thing that we do know about people living with dementia, and I say this all the time, they may not recognize your face, they may not know your name, depending on the day, but they will rem will remember for a long time how you made them feel. And those real life looking dogs and cats and other animals that are available make them feel loved, make them feel purposeful because they're able to care for it and nurture it. So those are a very important part of caregivers providing a higher quality of life for people with dementia is exactly what you just brought up, and I'm glad you did.

Jeanne

Oh, thanks. I just I was so fascinated by that that when we got our dog, and um this has nothing to do with dementia, but we got a little puppy. We um got one of those little rabbits that had a heartbeat in it, and it thump, thump, thump, thump, and you know, at night we let him sleep with it. That dog has never had any kind of anxiety over being in our house because he slept with his little bunny friend that had that heartbeat, and every morning he'd get up and he'd pull that bunny out with him to wake him up for the day to be with them out of the cage. It was adorable. My husband and I talk about it all the time, and we just it just does so much when you look at it, um, when you think about it, about how wonderful this little puppy cared for that fake bunny. And when I saw they were doing that in, you know, you know, different aging homes or assisted living, I had seen it before, but it really brought it home with our dog. And I just I want somebody to give me one of those.

Lisa Skinner

I think it just proves that animals have the same emotional needs that people do.

Jeanne

Yeah, that's true. It's just like I guess, and this is another whole topic on animals, but if you go to YouTube, just do this for me, listeners too, go find this monkey in Japan called Punch, whose mother abandoned him when uh he was born because of you know a difficulty pregnancy and heat exhaustion, because it was a heat wave at the time in Japan. And he was nurtured and fed by the zoo keepers, but he couldn't relate to the other monkeys. He had no nothing to help him. And so one of the zoo um staff, caretakers, I guess, brought him an IKEA orange orangutang, big orangutan. And that little monkey just latched onto this little, you know, stuffed animal and used it like a surrogate mother. So you have to go look at those videos. I can't even describe them. You will cry from the tenderness that he felt from you know having that monkey and being able to hold on to it when he had nobody else. That story touches my heart. It is so beautiful. You have to see it. People were flocking to this Japanese zoo from all over the world. In fact, if I'd had the money and I knew about it when it was going on, I would have flown over there to see this little baby monkey. But it's just like the people trapped in their body, they just need something. And those little animals, those mechanized animals, is just so helpful.

Lisa Skinner

Well, to feel that they still have a purpose and to feel like they still matter. These are all the things that never leave us. I don't care how damaged your brain is and how far gone your short-term memory is, those are instincts that do not leave us.

Supporting Purpose, Comfort, and Connection

Jeanne

Right, exactly. And so, yeah, so I guess to the listeners, you know, if you have somebody suffering, you know, with dementia or you have someone in assisted living that may just be trapped in their own mind, you know, think about whether you could get on one of these animals because I'm just in love with them. And that's my own plug. Sorry about that, Lisa. Well, this has been so great. I just think this is a wonderful, you know, conversation we're having here. And I hate to switch it, but we're ready to play Two Truths and a Lie. Are you ready for that? Sure. Yeah, so let's see another side of Lisa here. We're gonna switch to our game. Um, one of my favorite parts of the podcast, and it's playing Two Truths and a Lie with a Guest. Uh, the rules of the game are the guest has provided me with three headlines up front that are some stories about herself that either, well, two are true for sure, and one is a lie or a twisted truth. So I'll

Two Truths & A Lie

Jeanne

read the headlines and I'll guess which one I think is the twisted truth. She will go through the stories for us, and then at the end she'll reveal. So don't tell us before you get through all these stories. Oh, I won't. Okay. I think this is great. This is fun. Yeah, this will be fun because yours were just like I don't, you were a nature person. That's all I can say. So I'm gonna share my screen and read the headlines. This episode is sponsored by Rebel 180, the home of brave pivots and fresh starts. Rebel 180 is all about helping you rediscover what's possible when you stop settling and start listening to that little tug inside that says, Life can be different. Whether you're navigating a career shift, dreaming about a new direction, or standing at the crossroads wondering if it's time for your own 180 degree turn, Rebel. 180 is a reminder, you don't need permission to change your story. And now, as we open the door to our second sponsor, we're stepping into the world of tech. Simple socket print, the lightweight blazing, fast label print solution designed for those who need reliability without the blue. With version 1.5, you get instant printing in milliseconds, fully maintained print sequence, and automatic base6040 decoding all without needing print driver installs. If you're running SQL Server 2016 or newer, Simple Socket Print 1.5 drops right in and gets to work. Keep your workflow simple. Keep your label printing fast with Simple Socket Print. Thank you to our sponsors. So, number one story. Lisa locks eyes with a mountain lion alone on the trail with nowhere to run. That's story number one. Number two, Lisa's peaceful hike turns tense when a bear blocks her only way out. And number three, Lisa almost steps on a rattlesnake hidden in plain sight. So those are three stories. And I'm going to guess that the hike with the bear is not true, but I I don't know. So I'll let you take over and you just explain these stories to us and tell us what they're all about. Okay.

Lisa Skinner

So I used to have a horse and I was at the barn, which was kind of in a remote area. There was trails everywhere and things like that. And I was sitting on the back of a truck with the tailgate down that belonged to the barn manager's wife's brother. So I was sitting there and my back was facing the front of the truck, and I was sitting in front of a hitching post for the horses, and all of a sudden I feel these paws jump on top of my shoulders and over my head. And I looked down and it was a mountain lion.

Jeanne

Oh my gosh.

Lisa Skinner

But I have to tell you that it was not a wild mountain lion, it was the pet of the brother of the barn manager's wife. And it was probably eight or nine months old. He had had it since it it was a young cub, and now it's about eight or nine months old. It had been declawed in the front, but not in the back. And he still had all his teeth. And, you know, he just literally landed on my shoulders and then over my head. And, you know, mountain lions instinctively go for the jugular with their teeth. So he still had the opportunity to do that, but he didn't. And the guy's name was Bruce, and he raised this cub, this mountain lion cub from I don't know, a few weeks old. I don't have any idea where he got it. So I always say to people, how many people can say that they came face to face with a mountain lion, even this set of circumstances.

Jeanne

And he jumped over your shoulders. Whoa.

Lisa Skinner

Oh yeah, he landed on top of me. And he was just, I guess, just wanting to play. But and unfortunately, he didn't live much longer than that because he got a hold of one of Bruce's sleeping bags, tore it to shreds, and the the filling blocked his intestines. Oh, oh, oh. But um, yeah, but I've always loved animals. The more exotic, the better. So that was a special experience for me.

Jeanne

Wow.

Lisa Skinner

How about the bear? Okay. So we were in Tahoe, and we were hiking through a forest right by Echo Lake. If any of you know Echo Lake.

Jeanne

I have heard of it. I haven't been there.

Lisa Skinner

Okay. So we're hiking along, and then we come upon this bridge. And we start to step up on the bridge, and all of a sudden, on the very opposite side of the bridge, this bear pops up. We must have startled it. It was, I don't know, like looking for something, food or whatever, on the other side of the bridge, and it heard us approach, and we s actually started to cross the bridge, and it pops its head up and kind of looks at it at us for a minute, and we just like, uh oh, what do we do? Well, lo and behold, he starts coming towards us over the bridge. And we always knew if this happens, you don't run because that that instinctively wants to make them chase you. But we were right on the sh near the shore of Echo Lake. So my husband and I went running into the water hoping that he wouldn't follow. And he could have because bears like water, they go in water, but he didn't. And he kind of, you know, stood there like he was thinking about it, but eh, they're not worth it. I'm not gonna get all wet for those two. So he just went back and went back over the bridge and went about his business.

Jeanne

Yeah, I I've heard a lot of people on the podcast even talking about hiking and this and that avatar. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm just not gonna do that. I'll just rock my treadmill. Wow, a bear. All right, how about the rattlesnake? Because I hate them. I'm sorry. I shouldn't hate anything, but I do not have to.

Lisa Skinner

Well, I told you I used to ride horses and I would ride on the trails and I would run into them all the time. But this was at my house. So we lived in Northern California and in a subdivision that backed up to uh what well, it was still a cattle ranch.

Jeanne

Okay.

Lisa Skinner

Some of the land had been sold off to build the homes, but the cattle ranch was still there. And so I came home one day and I went out into my uh backyard uh to the patio, and I saw my cat out there. So I went and sat down. I picked the cat up and I sat down on the lounge chair with my kitty, and I was petting my kitty. And all of a sudden I hear this chchchchch..

Jeanne

yeah, that little rattling sound.

Lisa Skinner

And I thought, oh, somebody sprinkle sprinklers must have just gone on. I ignored it and it stopped for a minute, and then I hear louder.

Jeanne

I thought it rattled like back and forth, like I don't know. Just like that. Yeah.

Lisa Skinner

Faster. So I look to my left. I don't see anything. I looked to my right, and curled up in a ball was a five to six foot rattlesnake just about a foot from me and my kitty. And it was serious. That rattle was shaking so fast and so loud that I thought, oh my gosh, he is going to strike at me any second. And they can strike up to I think twice their length. So he definitely could have gotten me. And I just said, okay, Lisa, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic. I never confronted a rattlesnake that close before. So what I did, thank goodness my kitty was still on my lap, I just really calmly, you know, clutched her and held on really tight, and I turned to my left very slowly, the opposite direction from where the snake was clearly about to come after me. And I beelined it for my sighting glass door and got into the house with my cat. So when I did that, it startled the snake and it took off and slithered under these boards that happened to be in my backyard. But I was nervous about it going over there because I had two dogs in a pen that the snake could have gotten to, and they had no place to run. And the snake could have gotten them if it had wanted to. So unfortunately, at the time, my husband had gone to the store. So I there was I was helpless. I didn't know how to protect the dogs, I had the cat safe. So my husband finally got home and I told him the story, and we didn't have like any guns in the house, but my son, I think he was 10 or 12 at the time, my son had a pellet gun. So my husband ran up to his room, got the pellet gun. I told him that the snake had slithered under these boards, and he shot the rattlesnake in the head. Took two shots. The first one didn't kill him, but the second one did, and then he cut the tail off and gave it to me as a trophy.

Jeanne

I know I've seen them sell them for on necklaces and stuff, but uh I I don't really want to carry them around around my neck.

Lisa Skinner

No, I didn't do that.

Jeanne

I think I stuck it in a like a like a treasure box, just to remember.

Lisa Skinner

I don't think uh yeah. But those are my stories.

Jeanne

Which one of these is a lie, Lisa?

Lisa Skinner

So you think the bear one is the lie?

Jeanne

Yeah. I don't know.

Lisa Skinner

It is.

Jeanne

It is?

Lisa Skinner

It is.

Jeanne

Oh, okay, good.

Lisa Skinner

Now, why did you think before you heard my stories, why did you just initially go to that one?

Jeanne

I don't know. I just knowing that you had told me something about where you were from, I didn't think there would be a bear, you know. I mean, I'm thinking bears in mountains and stuff.

Lisa Skinner

Well, to be honest with you, part of the story is true. I twisted it. We really did go on a hike. We were with another family and their two girls. We got to this bridge and up pops this bear on the other side of the bridge. Now, the lie part, the bait up part, is that my husband and it was just me and my husband, and that we turned and ran and jumped in the lake. I made that up.

Jeanne

Oh, okay.

Lisa Skinner

But the rest of it is true. We really did come upon a bear, and we saw him as soon as like we put our feet on the bridge to cross it, and he kind of just popped up. And but the truth of that story is that he turned and ran the opposite direction from us and did not come after us over the bridge and force us to jump into the lake.

Jeanne

So it didn't really block you and scare you.

Lisa Skinner

It was like Yeah, no, he he was more scared, I think, than we were because he turned and ran the other way.

Jeanne

Well, I didn't know you were going to say you were in Lake Tahoe, because I was just thinking, you don't have a bear where you're from. So okay. Anyway. But I got it right.

Lisa Skinner

You did. But um all three stories are at least partially true.

Jeanne

Yeah, that's great.

Lisa Skinner

One and three are were I told you exactly, you know, from start to finish how the whole thing played out. Two, I just twisted it.

Jeanne

Twisted a little bit.

Lisa Skinner

But there really was a bear.

Jeanne

Well, you have been such a phenomenal guest, and this has been such a great conversation. I really like these stories because thinking about heavy things like Alzheimer's and dementia, and then we see you're out there living your life still and enjoying yourself, even if there's rattlesnakes, lions, and bears shocking you, but you're having fun. So I I really love this. And I know people are gonna want to get in touch with you. So I'm going to show them ways that they can. You can contact Lisa on Facebook and X and LinkedIn, YouTube, and then you can learn more about her on her sites, uh Dementia Awareness Speaker.com and MindingDementia.com. Is there anything you want to say to the listeners about how to get in touch with you?

Lisa Skinner

I

Free Resources for Families and Caregivers

Lisa Skinner

just want to uh offer up one suggestion. Um, I've been doing my one podcast for about three years. Uh, I think I'm up to 150-something episodes, and I'm mentioning this because it is a free resource for people, and I talk about everything under the sun that relates to living with any of these brain diseases that progress to dementia. So it is a resource for people to learn more about the disease, talk a uh uh, you know, a lot of stories, true stories, a lot of myth busting. And then more recently, I launched a brand new television show. It's the same name as the podcast, The Truth Lies and Alzheimer's show, completely different audiences. That one streams on E360 TV, but you can access both those shows on my YouTube channel. And the reason why I do this, I mentioned earlier, is so I can be a reliable resource for people who are, you know, either currently dealing with this in their life or will at some point in the future. So hopefully you will find a trusted resource to tell you things truthfully and accurately and be able to believe. Because I research everything. I don't present any information if I don't make sure that it is accurate. Things change rapidly in this industry. So I spend a lot of time saying on top of it, but I want to bring people the truth of how to cope with this in a positive way. And a lot of people don't even think those two words go together.

Closing Thoughts and Words of Wisdom

Jeanne

Yeah. Dementia and positivity.

Lisa Skinner

But it's very, very possible. You just you just have to have the information in your possession.

Jeanne

So well, you're you're just like a saint for doing this, because I think it's just um something that's very much needed. Like I said earlier, doctors don't give you all this detail. But thank you for being on the show. And to the listeners that are listening in, I hope you enjoyed this. And if it resonated with you, please reach out to Lisa and also please join us again um next episode where we'll have another great guest. And from your Admiral of the Unexpected, until I see you again, I wish you smooth sailing. Thank you. Thanks for joining me on Project Candor, where the doors are open, the stories are unexpected, and the treasure is always real. If today's episode made you laugh or think, follow the show and share it with your crew. Otherwise, I might just make you swab the deck. I'm Jeanne Andersen, your Admiral of the Unexpected. See you on the next Voyage.