Do the Hard Work in Private to Receive the Public Reward

Most of us drift toward ruin in private, not in public — and the damage is often invisible until it's too late. Marcus Murray reveals the small, private habits that secretly sabotage your future—laziness, gluttony, shortcuts, instant gratification—before they manifest in public consequences.

But it’s not just about avoiding these pitfalls; it’s about transforming your character privately to showcase integrity publicly. In this eye-opening episode, you’ll discover how tiny daily choices—like resisting procrastination or ditching the microwave mentality—compound over time to either build resilience or erode it. Marcus breaks down concrete strategies to identify one habit to strengthen, eliminate a shortcut, and practice mercy towards offenses, empowering you to take control behind the scenes.

You’ll learn why integrity starts in private, how media consumption shapes your identity, and why your true strength lies in restraint, patience, and mercy. These aren’t just habits—they’re the foundational building blocks of lifelong character and lasting success.

Perfect for anyone tired of seeing their private compromises leak into their public life, or anyone eager to develop a resilient character that stands the test of time. This episode is your wake-up call to start building the private integrity that transforms your public outcomes.

Remember: success isn’t forged on stage; it’s built in unseen moments where no one is watching. Are you ready to seize that power?

Join Marcus Murray and start making private choices that lead to public victory. Your future self will thank you.

Transcript

Welcome to the No Time to Waste podcast studio. I'm your guide Marcus Murray. And today's episode, which remember this is season two, episode four, is the fact that no one ever chooses to ruin their life, especially in public. It actually happens in private. There are small momentary shortcuts, one at a time habits that most people think don't even matter. They accumulate and it actually reveals itself in public.

What we're going to talk about today is how the gotta have it mentality will actually cost you everything later. So sit back and relax and let's get started. So one of the things that we have to decide, as a young man, young woman, a person in their thirties, forties, early fifties is that integrity is actually the thing that actually precedes visibility.

We actually change inside before the world sees actually who we are and developing good private habits that build character, avoiding shortcuts and instant gratification is actually the route. So I've written down just three, actually four little areas that I believe will be very beneficial for everyone. And then we'll end with a thought for a son. Again, private habits create public outcomes.

So let's talk about some of the private habits that we have to make the decision to overcome if those are present in our lives. One of them is laziness. Laziness, the world has changed the name to procrastination. It sounds a lot better. It sounds professional. It sounds well thought out, well backed by science. It's procrastination. When in reality, it's laziness.

It's that putting everything off until tomorrow where there's a real thought that says anything that must be done eventually should be done immediately. Like, don't delay. What I try to share often is that we actually have all of eternity to sleep. But if you take a look at it and actually do the math, and I'll grab my calculator as I'm talking about this, if you actually do the math on it, there is not a lot of time.

Marcus Murray (02:26.006)
And when you think about time, as this podcast talks about there being no time to waste, there's not a lot of time. So if the average person, let's say they only live 80 years, give or take, some people live 90 years, 92 years, 95 years, but let's just use the number 80 being a good average for an American, the number of years that you live. And let's take that number of years and multiply that by 365 days.

That gives us 29,200 days and we'll multiply that times 24 hours in every single day. And then we will take the hours and multiply that time 60 minutes and we'll take the minutes and multiply them by 60 seconds. And the number that we end up with is 2,522,880,000 seconds.

That's not a lot of seconds. 2,522,880,000 seconds. Why is this important? So some people are actually sleeping, let's say eight hours. They're like, I have got to get eight hours of sleep. If I don't get eight hours of sleep, there is just no way in the world that I'll make it. But that's eight hours times 60 minutes, times 60 seconds.

8 hours times 60 minutes times 60 seconds. That means they're sleeping 28,800 seconds a night. If you only have 2 billion plus seconds in life, you really have to ask yourself, do I really need all 28,800 of these seconds or can I sacrifice some of them and build into my future? There's another private thing that kind of sneaks up on us and it's gluttony. The,

concept of having too much of everything I I go by the grocery store and and I have to grab extra bags of chips and and I remember when I was growing up and this is the funny thing that People never know when you're babysitting kids that it's going to come out in the future I remember being babysat by my uncle's girlfriend and it was really interesting because she was a nice lady you never would have thought that she was this type of person, but

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She would go to the grocery store to pick up the groceries to prepare dinner and she would actually purchase a big bag of those little bitty powdered donuts. And it'd be this big bag and she would give one to me and she would eat the entire bag before we got back to the house and hide the wrapper under the seat of the car so that my uncle wouldn't find them.

Now what's wild is that concept is gluttonous. It's gluttony. I've got to have not just one, I have to have it all. Well, there's another secret one and it's got everything to do with our media. Are you able to control the amount of time, tone and type of media that you access? Media is one of those quiet, hidden behind the scenes things that will actually impact who we become.

how we become and what ultimately is shown to the world. Well, we're talking about how much time do you spend? Is it quality time on media? It could be an excessive amount of the news and excessive amount of scrolling and excessive number of reels. What type of information are you looking at on media? Media could be very good. Let's say you're looking at ministry information, self-help and personal development information.

You're looking at educational information or are we looking at information that's toxic fights and brawls and all kinds of chaos and mayhem? What's the tone of it? Right? So that's, if you look at the different areas, this is going to be your private habits. But then shortcuts.

Shortcuts is another issue that will actually erode the quality of your future. And if we take a look at shortcuts for the sake of the example, and because I enjoy eating, I'm going to use food and hopefully I'll make it to your block. Have you ever had mac and cheese where someone decided to take a shortcut and instead of them using the quality cheddar and sharp, they actually use some, some cheese whiz to make

Marcus Murray (07:15.41)
mac and cheese or a lasagna where they didn't use the quality regota cheese they actually use the cottage cheese and and and didn't even take time to flavor that and so it really tastes like a lot of nothing or have you ever gone and had a pizza and for whatever reason they were very light on the sauce and very light on the cheese and the

Tappings were very light so they made it quick, but but because of the shortcut the quality is missing Have you ever gone to a restaurant and you went and you ordered something very delicious and healthy? Salmon with a nice side salad and then the portion of salmon is this size It's a two inch by two inch piece So they chose to skimp in that takeout

Salmon order they chose to skimp but what they actually lost was way more than what they gained or Have you ever seen someone that instead of taking the time to share from their heart? To do the due diligence to think about their topics They decided I'll just let AI do it. I won't really write a letter I'm gonna let AI write the letter or I'm not gonna write a card

I'm going to just find a card with a lot of words and I'm going to simply sign it. I believe that shortcuts are the thing that really, really impact the future and we want to avoid them. Then there's the instant gratification. The, got to do this now. It's got to be quick. Everything has to be done as fast as a microwave. The microwave mentality. I'm not going to pay the price for anything.

I don't want rice that's been cooked on the stove. It's got to be the instant rice. It's got to be fast. I've got to have everything fast. But what that actually does, it erodes the ability to develop stamina, staying power, and the energy that's actually necessary to complete because we're shortcutting it for quick. These people.

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that aren't able to overcome this particular issue of the microwave mentality get caught where they can never truly advance because they're prone to quit. Anything they start, they quit. Before they get started, they quit. You mean I have to do work? I have to do reading? Quit. You mean I have to attend classes? Quit. You mean I have to attend meetings? Quit. You mean I need to talk to other humans? I quit.

How do you advance if it's always a quit? Everything that's good is not instant. That's what we know. Then there's the concept of, have to have it right now. I actually need it now. People spend a lifetime to come to the point where we are today realizing something needs to be better. Something's got to change, but they want that complete change right

Now it's got to happen instant if it's not Miraculous a miraculous healing. I can't be healed if it's not a miraculous Supernatural suddenly delivery I can't be delivered It's got to be now. It can't be a process. It can't be a journey like everyone that has achieved success before you then

There are character flaws that cripple the ability to lead. And I just want you to think about these very, very important. One of them is a propensity, a propensity toward behaviors that only benefit you. If everything is for your benefit, there is nothing in it for others. That's not a good thing, but there's another character issue. The

failure to see good in others. To see the positive. When we're always looking for the negative, when anyone approaches us or does anything in our life, we're looking for the gotcha in it. You'll find it. Then there's the refusal to show mercy. I believe this is one of the greatest. Every now and then, we have to imagine maybe the person

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that has wronged us accidentally, intentionally. Maybe they didn't do it intentionally. Maybe it was just life. Maybe it was just timing. The timing was wrong. And then there's the proclivity for offense. We're being cultured right now to believe that every single person that we encounter is trying to offend us. We're here in Michigan.

In the snow and what happens, cars are sliding around. You're driving, you're trying to get out of a slippery lane into a more clear lane. But because you're trying to prevent your car from dovetailing and hitting an embankment, you quickly find that spot. The person that you get in front of in today's culture believes that you did that intentionally.

that you got in front of them because you wanted to cause them harm or delay. So they go out of their way to drive up beside you, honking their horn, trying to get a response. But it's so funny, I was actually sharing this with my mom. At that point, I hold on to the steering wheel with two hands. Do you know how they say all older people hold? And this is what I do. I look very rigid and like I'm struggling to drive.

because it wasn't intentional. Somehow or another, we have to find the ability to not see offense, not see, this as some intentional, cause or some intentional action that has now caused you this injustice. And we have to let them off the hook, show them mercy.

Now let's get to our homework, which is the hard work. Today, we are going to identify one habit that we need to strengthen. What is it that we can do in private that will actually make a huge difference for us? No one knows about it, but make the decision that you'll do something in private and strengthen that. Number two, what is one shortcut that

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we may have been taking that we can eliminate. Maybe it is a shortcut. Here's a good one. Maybe it's a shortcut of not taking the time to do a dish. I am certain that if you overcome little things and change very small things in your life, the rest of it comes into order. It's amazing how it works. It's like snatching the end of the garden hose. When it's a kink at the end, when you snatch it,

it just kind of lines up. It's amazing how it works. So maybe what if the habit is something simple like not taking time to put a lid on things that go back in the refrigerator? What if it's not taking the time to fully wash a dish? So let's say we use a spoon and we stir our coffee and then we rinse the spoon instead of putting the spoon in the sink and taking the time to wash it. Let's figure out what that is.

find one little shortcut that we take and let's get rid of that one shortcut, just one. That's it, just one. Then let's make an integrity commitment. Let's consciously choose to give up one thing that we experience in private. No one knows about it. Doom scrolling, too much news, whatever it is, just give up one thing, not completely if it's going to kill you.

but just reduce it. So if you normally watch an hour of news, let's drop it to 30 minutes, just so that you are consciously taking control of your own action behind the scenes where no one's watching and you are now managing and navigating your future outcome. And then finally, find one person that has offended you in the past and then make the

Conscious decision that you're going to forgive that person That's it one person now I always in the show especially during season two with a letter to my son and of course if I had been a father of daughters it would be a letter to my daughter, but because I'm a father of sons and I grew up Wanting this type of guidance

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That's why I've taken the time to do it. So here we go. Son, be slow to be offended and always quick to show mercy. Offense feels powerful in the moment, but it makes you feel justified. It tells you that you're right and someone else is wrong. But in reality, offense is a heavy weight to carry. It's like a backpack of bricks and every offense is another brick.

The more bricks you carry, the more it slows you down from reaching your goals. Mercy does the opposite. Mercy keeps your load light. People will disappoint you, not because they're evil, but because they're human. They'll say the wrong things, they'll misunderstand you, and they'll fail you in ways you never expected. But if you allow every offense to take root, your life will be spent defending your pain.

rather than building your future. Son, character is revealed not in how you react when you're praised, but how you respond when you're wrong. A man with strong character does not need to always win. He understands that being unoffendable is a form of strength. That's how he wins. It's not weakness. When you show mercy, you're not excusing bad behavior.

but you're choosing personal freedom. Strength is restraint. Strength is patience. Strength is choosing grace when you could choose bitterness. Be the kind of man who's hard to offend and easy to respect. Be the kind of man whose character is so steady that others feel safe around him. And remember this son, the greatest public rewards in life.

come from privately paying the price of enduring commitment when no one else is watching.

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Remember how I said at the beginning that failure is not something that happens in public, it happens in private. It's the shortcuts, the compromises, the desire for instant gratification. Those things actually decide the future long before the future actually arrives and anyone sees it. That's why character is not built on stage. It's built in private.

in those unseen moments. Decide to build character in private and you will be rewarded in public. Now let's go and seize the day. I'll see you on the next episode.