Mostly Legal

Season 2, Episode 2 - The Wives are back to share some more stories and offer some experience!

• Stephen Dinkins • Season 2 • Episode 2

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We loved having the ladies on to laugh with us and tell a few stories of their own. We are thankful for the blessings that we each have together in our marriages and our hope is that we will continue to grow in wisdom and joy together. We hope you enjoyed listening this episode!

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SPEAKER_04

And he came in um to the kitchen and he lifted the pot up and said, I can't wait to eat this. No. And he sat in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_05

He sat down and he said, baby, what is this?

SPEAKER_09

This wasn't the first time I'd heard that, by the way.

SPEAKER_01

This is my story.

SPEAKER_10

What's another Monday morning, another time for a mostly legal episode? We're glad to have you back. Thank you for tuning in. My name is Stephen Dinkins, the host of the Mostly Legal Podcast, and I'm out here at the Dinkins Mill Mostly Legal recording studio with my brother Scott Dinkins and of course my good friend Barracuda, Bubba Johnston. And we have the awesome honor of having our better halves with us again tonight. We've already survived one episode with these ladies, and amazingly, nobody has walked out yet, so we're hanging in there. We're gonna see if we can make it to the end of another episode. Uh these are the women who have spent years listening to our stories and uh correcting them at the same time. Over 70 years of marriage experience right here. Over 70 years of marriage experience. That's pretty good math for you, Scott. I'm impressed. It took me an episode and a half, but I got no, that's awesome. So we're excited to have Kim back with us, Kim Johnston, Bubba's wife. We're excited to have my sister-in-law, Scott's wife, Sandy Dinkins, here, and of course, my beautiful duck picking wife, Sarah Dinkins. We love her. Um before we jump into this episode, though, we do want to give a shout-out. Bubba, who are we talking to today?

SPEAKER_00

Our listener of the week this week is gonna be Mr. Greg Kite. I saw him the other day at the Barbecue Hut. And um he brought up the podcast to me, told me that he listened faithfully and and really enjoys the podcast. Greg has been a good friend for years, and um just just super that he's listened to it, and we appreciate it, Greg. Just continue to listen and and give us some tips anytime I see you at the barbecue hut or wherever, just we're here to hear how we can do better, and thank you again for your support.

SPEAKER_10

Thank you, Greg.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, Greg, for sure.

SPEAKER_10

You know, uh Sarah, you have also been called, uh, in in addition to duck picking, you've also been called the the chicken lady before. You love chickens, and uh you were there that day that Bubba came out, and he loved to tell that uh peacock story. Tell us a little bit, maybe you want to set the stage for that story from your perspective, because I think it was meant a little bit more to you than maybe it did Bubba. Bubba likes to make light of it, but uh tell us what happened that fateful day out there on the hill.

SPEAKER_05

Well, you built me that house out in the country, and you said, What is the one thing you want out in the country? Because I am a city girl, and I said, I want peacocks. And you worked really hard to find me some peacocks. Very hard.

SPEAKER_10

Where do you find peacocks? Well, you got to know people. You got just kind of you know, just kind of underground sat talk. You gotta yeah. Now, actually, somebody mentioned last episode of Carolina Trader. I found them in the trader. Some dude in Orangeburg had a breeding pair.

SPEAKER_00

For the young millions and millions of young listeners. Please tell them what a Carolina Trader was.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, that was essentially kind of your outdoor classified ads. You could buy it at any convenience store. It was a little small newspaper, and it had everything from furniture to guns to uh cars to dogs, even peacocks.

SPEAKER_00

Facebook Marketplace Imprint.

SPEAKER_10

Facebook Marketplace Imprint with no regulations. Like you can sell tickets in the trader, you can sell puppies in the trader. You can sell anything. Yeah. And nobody called you to ask you about your license for selling puppies. That was a good thing back in the good days. Okay, so Sarah, keep going.

SPEAKER_05

He came home with two peacocks. Beautiful, big feathers, and a female and a male. And I said to the children I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_08

I just need to know. Stephen, how did you transport these peacocks? Like, how did you get them from point A to point B? Magic. Kind of like Kim's leg magic. It was just a truck. What do you got?

SPEAKER_10

Um I I really don't remember. And I had a big truck. I think I put them in a big dog kennel. Okay. And uh I think I remember being worried about the tail feathers, but the guy that I got them from was very articulate. Just put them like this and curl them up like that. Be fine, they won't break. And so they made it. Sound like a closer fan. Yeah, exactly. Congratulations.

SPEAKER_05

So we said to the children, look, dad's just bought us these two peacocks. We had no place to put the peacocks, but we had peacocks. Very impulsive. And I told the children they could name them what they wanted. And Rainey said, Well, I'm gonna name the beautiful one with all the colors blue. And I was like, great name, baby. And Asa said, Well, I'm naming the brown one Tutie Tot. So we had blue and Tutie Tot.

SPEAKER_10

And Asa was how old? I mean, let's give him a little credit here before he forms bad opinions of Asa.

SPEAKER_05

He may have been about four.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, three or four years old.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, he was young. So Steven got some dog wire and put a makeshift.

SPEAKER_10

Well, I did the problem was I did chicken wire actually.

SPEAKER_05

Was it chicken wire? And he told me this is just temporary until I can build you a really nice big one. And so he built me in a few hours.

SPEAKER_08

It was temporary.

SPEAKER_05

It was temporary uh a peacock coop. And we were inside the house and we had some dogs that were barking. And I was like, Who's here? The dogs are barking. And we walked to the front door, and our good friends, Kim and Bubba, had showed up, and they said, Surprise, we came to see you. Yeah. And we were so excited.

SPEAKER_00

We came to see the peacocks. How long did y'all had the peacocks at this point? A day or two.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, 24 hours. Yeah. Oh wow. And so long enough for the German shepherd to plot their plan. And we visited, and then what happened?

SPEAKER_10

Well, we had uh a couple of dogs then, but uh, what was the chief culprit? It was a German shepherd, and uh her name was Hilda. Hilda, a good German name for a German shepherd. We inherited uh Bubba, they came to the front door and we greeted, and you came inside, yeah, and we kind of you know just did a little bit of greeting, fellowship there, and then Bubba's like, No, I want to see, I want to see these peacocks. You sound a little bit like Lincoln and that story. So Sarah says, Oh, let me show you my beautiful peacocks that Dink bought me. You're gonna love them.

SPEAKER_00

Now, we had seen the peacocks when we drove in. Briefly. We had seen them, so all was well at the point of entering the house.

SPEAKER_05

That's that's right. But in the excitement of having visitors, the three dogs got really excited.

SPEAKER_10

So actually, now that we're retelling the story, it's because Bubba and Kim actually are the ones that riled up this bloodlust in these dogs when they pulled up. It's only right until they came. They they need to replace those people. They should. We'll talk about that later. So we leave the inside. We walk out that little front door on the porch and we make that short walk. And what what do we see?

SPEAKER_05

Feathers everywhere. Blue did not make it.

SPEAKER_10

There were no peacocks in the cage or in the coop. And uh I mentioned that I didn't use dog wire, I used chicken wire. That's right. Chicken wire contains chickens, it does not contain or prevent dogs from working their way through it. Oh and that German shepherd Hilda, she had her way with big blue. Oh and we followed this trail of tail feathers.

SPEAKER_05

Bubba kept saying, now, Sarah, I don't I don't think you want to follow me. I don't think you want to follow me. I was like, no, Bubba, I have to find my peacock. I don't know that you want to find your peacock anymore, Sarah.

SPEAKER_10

So uh yeah, we found uh blue and he he had met his maker. Uh Hilda had seen to it that he was done for. Uh but we couldn't find Tootie Tot. Tootie Tot. And so we had Bubba uh walking through the woods calling out, Tootie Tot! Tootie Tot.

SPEAKER_05

And he said, Now, Sarah, don't you worry. Tootie Tot is gonna he is gonna fly up in a tree. That's probably where he is, and he's gonna roost. And he's gonna stay up there, and then he's gonna get down and join uh what do you call a flock?

SPEAKER_10

A flock of wild turkeys.

SPEAKER_05

Wild turkeys, and that seemed to make me feel better. But we found Tootie Tot way up in the tree.

SPEAKER_10

But he never would come down. But she, excuse me, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Would never come down.

SPEAKER_10

Uh but eventually, well, you know, two or three mornings, days went by, she did not come down. But the third morning we went out there and she was gone. And we got hooked up with a flock of wild turkeys, as Bubba had. Yeah, maybe so.

SPEAKER_05

We got to Kenya and I said, Will you buy me some peacocks? Because we had chickens. And he went to inquire. And do you know those Brits love peacocks to walk around their gardens? And they're a thousand dollars a piece over there. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00

Wow, and he's blowing up. So I never got peacocks.

SPEAKER_05

I never got peacocks.

SPEAKER_08

I mean, that's that was a hundred dollars less than you paid for them here.

SPEAKER_03

But it's gonna get you some more, so that's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_10

Now that we've established liability, we won't be filing that claim.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, okay. Well, so say that brings up something.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

It's shocking that Steven built something that was not quite adequate. And I know that Steven's really handy and everything. We've talked we've talked about like possums getting in the house and everything, all that kind of stuff. Is there any stories that come to mind of something that Stephen might have built that just probably did not meet the level of your expectation?

SPEAKER_05

He's never built a thing I didn't like.

SPEAKER_07

I I will give Stephen credit. Like he he, you know, particularly after they moved away, but he's built some stuff that's really impressive. Um and I think you built some stuff for the house in Kenya.

SPEAKER_08

I did. Did you build an island?

SPEAKER_05

Mm-hmm. Yes, you did.

SPEAKER_10

Um But I, you know, y'all are all being kind, but the truth is, whenever anybody came over and Sarah started her, oh, Stephen did this and Stephen did that spiel because she's so encouraging, I would always just beg them to kind of squit their eyes and don't pull out a level or you know, a square. Don't rush it. But just don't get close.

SPEAKER_05

Stephen is way more of a perfectionist and attention to details. So like he'll build something and I think it's perfect, and he'll be like, Well, I was thinking I need to sand it here, or take this off, and I'm like, it looks great.

SPEAKER_10

It's kind of like when I'm driving stuff. Yeah, yeah, a lot like that. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00

That's interesting, the attention to details. I mean, is it the same man that like he shows up to hunt and he's got 20-gauge shelf or 12-gauge gun, or it's just like those preparations, his preparations for like building things must be completely different than the whole hunting and fishing and and those kind of things from what I've seen over the years.

SPEAKER_07

Steven has uh, you know, a lot of people don't know this about him, but he is an amazing artist. And so he's got a creative bend to him. He's always been able to draw anything that you know, anything in a room you can see, he can draw it and it looks exactly like that. And I've never had that ability, and I can't even understand how to draw 3D, and he can make it all dimensional and everything. Um but you know, so so it makes sense to me that he can build something and and it and it look like it's supposed to look. Even I mean, I I joke with him all the time about his scorecards. We're playing golf. My scorecards are numbers you can hardly read. Steven's numbers are like so his penmanship is so perfect. Every number is right in the middle of the square on the scorecard.

SPEAKER_00

This is definitely not going the way I had saying it would be.

SPEAKER_07

I do understand your your inability to reconcile that, Stephen, with the Steven that shows up, you know, without all the equipment or all the shells or whatever.

SPEAKER_10

Anybody can do it with all the right stuff. That's right. You gotta innovate, you gotta figure it out. You got like MacGyver. I'm still gonna kill the stuff. You gotta call Spade a space. I mean, he can do something.

SPEAKER_00

I was feared for my life. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_10

Are you are you are you kidding me? No, I'm for real. Is that back when you had the lease over there on the 52 acres? Yes, when I back then.

SPEAKER_00

Way back then. What do you mean when? We needed to renegotiate, I believe, matter of fact. Yeah, I'm gonna get you negotiation. I got your negotiation. I got your negotiation. All right, speaking of negotiation. We got to have the ladies on there. Let's go back.

SPEAKER_10

We're getting back to Kim and Bubba here for a second. Um Kim, uh how 26 years? Was that what it was?

SPEAKER_04

It'll be 26th, November 11th.

SPEAKER_10

Okay, so November 11th, so sometime around November the 15th, 26 years ago, uh, you're cooking your first meal for Bubba. Walk us through that that that new event in your married life.

SPEAKER_04

Well, it was a little it was a big disaster. It was a big disaster, but a good story. So um Bubba's mom was probably the best cook I've ever known. Um she made everything wonderfully, and he had grown up like that. And that was intimidating for me because my mom um she made hamburger helper and I was happy with that. But I can remember us dating and me be me thinking, if we have to pick whose house we're eating at tonight, I want to eat at Bubba's house. I don't want to invite him over to my house because we're just having hamburger helper and it's just not gonna be that great. So um I knew that that was the man I was preparing a meal for, and um I still made a bad choice and decided to cook something that I liked from my house. And so Bubba had worked not a bad choice, just different than what you were used to. Um so Bubba had worked all day and um he came home and at my house really everything was in one pot. Like we didn't have like size.

SPEAKER_10

You would do well in Kenya.

SPEAKER_04

Uh-huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You would not do well at a Norton house because I've been at a Northam house before.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. And in his house, he grew up with his house every meal was basically a meat and three. And so um my house, it was like five ingredient pot. And so um I decided one of my favorite things to make, um, which is not gonna sound really good.

SPEAKER_00

Can I interject a little bit with the story? This is let me know. Only a little bit. This is Kim's story. Please. I want to kind of give you my real quick perspective of that. It'd be real quick. Just real quick. And then she can tell a little bit about it, and we can kind of go bounce off each other a little bit. So Kim has cooked this meal for me, and I can like, I don't know that this is going on, but I get home and I pull them dryway. This is back in the day, the dry cleaners and everything, and we all wore start shirts and everything to work and all that kind of stuff. And I got my dry cleaning, and I pull it out the car, and I go in there, I hang my dry cleaning on the door, and I smell and like something smells good. And Kim's in the kitchen, and I can, I'm like, I said, something smells. As a matter of fact, I think I said, I said, something smells good.

SPEAKER_04

You said something smells good.

SPEAKER_00

And I came around the corner, and there it was. And I knew I was in trouble immediately. Okay, I knew I was like in some serious trouble because there was one pot on the stove. One pot. One pot, and I knew I was in trouble because number one, I don't like things that touch a lot. Like I eat one thing, next thing, I eat kind of one thing at a time. And when I saw one pot, I'm like, we don't have any pots that are separated. I made it. So anyway, so Kim, go ahead now. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04

So um, anyway, I was really excited about my one pot wonder, and he was not, and I could see it on his face, and I said, um, I made dinner. And he said, Well, I guess I can try to eat it.

SPEAKER_00

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So I just walked over to the pot. Jim is so excited. I mean, she is pumped up. She is cooking a wonderful meal, no doubt.

SPEAKER_04

Something that I love.

SPEAKER_00

And I opened the pot lid, and I'm like, I'm scared at this point when I'm open, because I'm like one pot. And I look down at it, and it's not appetizing, y'all. It is bad looking. It's just bad. And I'll let her tell y'all what it what it what it was, but it just was not good looking. It was great. Okay, number one, it was great.

SPEAKER_05

So, what was it?

SPEAKER_04

Well, I loved, again, I grew up different. Um, it was beef rice cerrone, which I love rice ceroni. I always grew up with it with brown hamburger in it. Sure. What's that wrong with that meal? I mean, it's kind of hamburger helper-ish, but it's really delicious. Mmm.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So I did, I messed up. I said, I said, and she said, What? I guess I can eat this. And when I said I knew I messed up because I looked at that, I can see your little face was crushed the other day. I was in my shower, baby. I have screwed up. So there's only one thing to do at that point. That is just like, do you got to persect? He didn't communicate. You gotta start over. He didn't communicate over. I didn't say anything. I put the lid back down in my pot, I turn around, I walk back to the door, I got my dry cleaning, I went out the door, and I got in my car, and Kim's watching. And what's your thoughts?

SPEAKER_04

I thought he was leaving me. I said he had totally disliked my dinner so much he's leaving me over it, and I was really upset. I said, I've cooked the wrong thing, and now he's left me over it. This is a very short marriage. And so um anyway, he got in his truck, he backed out the driveway, which is why I thought he was gone. And um, then he backed up a little bit and then he pulled back in and he got his dry cleaning and he came in the front door and he said, Mmm, something smells good. And he came in um to the kitchen and he lifted the pot up and said, I can't wait to eat this. No, he said he sat down and he ate it, and I never ever cooked it again.

SPEAKER_10

Bobby, that was a good recovery.

SPEAKER_00

I've impressed that story. You had to start over. That was there was there wasn't much recovery on that. It was bad, y'all.

SPEAKER_04

So after that, I just really listened to his mom and I started cooking the way she cooked, and everything has worked out great.

SPEAKER_05

But have you ever sauteed venom sausages? Never. Yeah, Steven came home and uh we didn't have any meat.

SPEAKER_10

Because we didn't have any money.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, but I knew Celeste had a meat and a vegetable and a bread and dessert.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

So I opened a can of I don't even know how to pronounce them because I didn't eat them, but I don't know why we have Vienna. And I drained those bad boys and I sauteed them, and I served him vaina sausages with some vegetables and a roll, and he sat down and he said, Baby, what is this? And I said, It's these sausage things that were in the pantry. And he goes, What have you done to them? I said, I sauteed them. Y'all never do that again.

SPEAKER_04

I can't believe y'all had some. That was like fried bologna.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, it was something Brianna had in there for taking on a camping trip or something. And when she couldn't find any other, she's like, let's open these up. Let's get after this.

SPEAKER_08

Well, that's pretty strong.

SPEAKER_10

That was back when I was selling insurance with Bubba, and I made about $300 a year. And so it was uh food was hard to come by.

SPEAKER_00

But we had some good game back there in the back, didn't we?

SPEAKER_10

That's great. Uh Sandy. Yes. Um, you and Scott, uh, you and I have not always um, you know, you haven't always been this age with six kids and mature and wise and smart and all this life experience. There were times where you were just trying to figure it out. Uh there was uh a time where you were figuring Scott out, I think if I remember this story right. And uh Scott, I don't know if our listeners have picked up on this, but from time to time Scott does have a desire to be right. Is that true, Sandy?

SPEAKER_03

There's a lot of times that he is right. A lot of times he's a smart guy. He's a smart guy.

SPEAKER_10

But I mean every now and then in a marriage situation, there's times where he maybe I'm wrong a lot.

SPEAKER_03

Well, there are times I'm he's a wonderful pastor, and I absolutely think he's in the right profession. But early on, there were times that I told him he really missed his calling as an attorney because he would say something to kind of refute what I was saying, and before I knew it, he was just talking me around in circles to the point that I couldn't even remember the original argument. Like I didn't even know what we were talking about anymore. I think they call it gaslighting these days. But I didn't even know like where this was coming from, and out of frustration, I would just be like, How must it feel? Like, how does it feel to be Scott Dinkins?

SPEAKER_09

Like, just to this wasn't the first time I'd heard of that, by the way.

SPEAKER_03

This is my story. Anyway, so I found out that like that would shut him down in a way that like it became my defense. Like, if I felt like I was on the attack, then that would make it stop if I said, How must it feel to be Scott Dinkins? And so we went through that probably the first couple of years of our marriage. That's kind of what I was saying.

SPEAKER_09

It's not the first time I heard that.

SPEAKER_03

It was the way, but it started somewhere, and I'm I'm kind of progressing through.

SPEAKER_08

I'm just trying to help you along.

SPEAKER_03

It just okay.

SPEAKER_02

Um look good on Instagram.

SPEAKER_10

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03

Cut. But it just got to the point that like I would do that, and it had gone on for a while, and I I was a little smart mouthed about it. I mean, it was just it was the only comeback I had because he is a smart guy, and the truth be told, he was talking me around in circles because he had me on whatever it was. And so one day I said, How must it feel to be Scott Dinkins? And he said, It feels good. And so that was the end of that comeback. I mean, I had to come up with some other one.

SPEAKER_10

She did. And so now all the people in Scott's life they know what to say. Yeah. Whenever he gives them a hard time. How must it feel?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. To be that guy.

SPEAKER_10

Um real quick, I I I don't want to, these are funny stories, but uh we loved outdoors. We established that. We established that Scott's a great Outdoor dad. He takes his kids a lot into the outdoors. Not only Benjamin, the boy, but the girls, and the girls love it and they love him for it. Um last year you guys had, well, a year and a half ago, maybe it's two years now, you had a devastating house fire over in Lake State, and it burned to the ground. You lost everything. A lot of our listeners know this that know you. Um, but um that what would you mind just sharing that story, even as though it's kind of traumatic, I think part of the story that I like or that appreciate the way the Lord worked was that some of the kids were in the outdoors with Scott, and I think it allowed you some clarity in a very panicked situation. Is that right?

SPEAKER_03

It did, for sure. Um, so I work remotely. At that time I was fully remote and I was working upstairs that day. Um, Scott had told me the night before, it usually is a last-minute thing, and he said, I'm gonna go hunting in the morning. And I remember that it was a holiday from school, and um a lot of times he tries to take that day with the kids, and so I knew he was planning on taking Benjamin because he was out of school. And because I was working, and we had Lily as well, who was younger, I said, I bet Lily wants to go. And he said, Well, we'll see how it goes in the morning. And I said, Okay, and um so I got I got up and had made coffee and went straight to work the next morning. I was upstairs, everything. It was a normal day, and um Scott, as he usually does, texted me a picture of a hog with two of the children, and it was um Benjamin and Lily. And so I thought, okay, he he did take Lily. Good. Benjamin and Lily are with Scott and um I went back to work. You know, I'm working at my desk and in your house. In my house, looking out of the front window, and you know, this is a side story, like even the dog ran towards the road at one point because she knew that something was going on, but I was still oblivious to it, and um I picked the window up, didn't even smell anything, and I was like, Roxy, no. And so she looked at me, she's not even an obedient dog, but she looked at me and I said no, and she tucked her tail and she just walked away from the road. But what I know is people were starting to line up beside the road, and so I shut the window and went right back to work and like it was already progressing and I was not aware. Um, and so there were I mean, I could name five miracles off the top of my head that day, but um he sent me a second picture that had Amelia in it, and I thought, oh, he took Amelia too. Well, within less than ten minutes we had been hearing noises that I thought was gunshot. And I mean Chapin's a small town, and my thought through all that was if somebody's doing something illegal, like it's Chapin. Somebody's already called the police, I'm not gonna worry about it. I was focused on what I was doing. And um so anyway, I saw that picture, I went back to work, and within a few minutes I heard Rowan just make this you know, you couldn't figure out the words, but it was just this uh uh uh like she was trying to get the words out. And I said, Rowan, what's the matter? And she said, The house is on fire. And so it was on the other side of the house from the house that I was on, and it had started as as best we know on an external wall and had climbed through the soffits, and so that's what I was hearing was this noise in the attic above my head. Um and so I I didn't put that together, like immediately I thought she's caught the kitchen stove on fire, and so I grabbed my phone and I had a fire extinguisher up there that I took down because I was gonna put the stove fire out, and as I'm walking, I pass by a window to the exterior, and I mean it's just like immense heat through this window, and it's orange, like it's obvious that this is not a fire that we're gonna get out. And um I get to the stairs, Sarah Knox is upstairs, and she meets me at the stairs, and I look down the stairs, and Rowan and Tess are there, and I said, Okay, one, two, three. I said, We've got everybody. And the girls are screaming, like, what about Benjamin? And what about and I said, They're with Papa. How do you know? I said, Well, he's already he he texted me and I know that they're with him. And um, we were out in less than a minute. I mean, I didn't have them shoes, nothing, but the window let me know, like, this is nothing to play with, and so we got out, didn't get the keys to my car, literally nothing. And um we looked back at the timestamps from when we called 911 to I it was strange to take, but I took a picture when the ceiling collapsed that I had just been sitting in, and it was seven minutes when we got out to the time that the house collapsed. And um, but yeah, he was making memories that morning, and um I was thankful because I mean, I don't let myself think about it much, but if it we had been asleep or you know, God forbid any of that kind of stuff, but he was even in the midst of immense loss, was very gracious with all the things that matter.

SPEAKER_10

So if you had grateful had those pictures and you didn't know where those kids were and you went back looking for them and you weren't able to get a hold of him for whatever I mean, it just the Lord was good to give you that peace of mind to know exactly who you needed to account for.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Well, and Sarah Knox, I found out later, heard what I thought was gunshots and had hidden in her room thinking that. And so when Rowan screamed the first time, her little mind thought that somebody had come inside and was shooting and had Rowan. And so she was not coming out until she heard Rowan say the words, the house is on fire. Okay, and that's when she came out. Or otherwise I would have been looking for her and she was hidden. Um, so the way we were out in less than a minute and God's provision and all of that, and um I'll tell you one quick story uh just about his goodness and all of that. We asked, um we kept a pulse check on the kids for a while after that. You know, how are you doing? How are you feeling? And um one of them told us several months later, they said, you know what? I was really mad with God after that happened because I knew that he could have stopped it and he didn't. But she said, The more I've seen the church be the church and the way that they've loved on us and come alongside us and the Lord used them to provide for us, the more I've seen how God uses bad things for his glory. Um and those stories don't always turn out how we want 'em to. And we're thankful that it it did for us that we didn't lose anybody. But for our kids to learn that lesson and we still get to have them of God's goodness and his faithfulness even in trials. I mean, worth it. I would never ask for my house to burn, but you know, how kind for him to teach them that in the midst of all that. So Amen.

SPEAKER_07

Well, it was a community effort. Uh, there it wasn't and it it was our church, Chavin Press, but it was neighboring churches in Chapin. Um and it was, you know, our home church first of Sumter. It was even churches associated with the ambassador camp that knew the girls from there. I mean w and in the community. Um and in the Red Cross, there was a lot of volunteer and community love that we felt um from all different um venues and areas, and it was it was humbling, but it was also a good picture to them of uh how good the body of Christ is um and how valuable the church is. And so you know, those are some of the things that you could see the Lord doing in it, even though we wouldn't have ever wanted, obviously, to go to go through that, but um but yet he still redeemed uh uh many things from it and through it. Um and uh one of them was our good friend Bubba Johnston, who s sold us the insurance policy on the house originally. Bubba when we were first uh building the house and and um Bubba was still selling insurance um at Bynum, he's like, Well, what kind of policy do you want? I said, Bubba, I don't know. If you were building a house and you this was yours, you know, that's tell me what kind of policy you would get. And he goes, Okay, I would get this and that, and and um so it wasn't long after the fire that I was able to call Bubba and tell him that I really appreciated his expertise in the insurance world because it was a great policy. And uh and the insurance company that carried it was uh really helpful and faithful through it, and you don't always hear those stories, you know. A lot of times people get frustrated or angry with what insurance doesn't cover. Well, in this situation, we were really thankful um for uh that because a lot of people have house fires that don't have insurance. Yeah. Um matter of fact, I I had a cousin that uh everybody knows here, Rob, who didn't have insurance way out in the country when his house burned previous to ours, and and just talking to him, hearing him talk about how they had community support as well, but they didn't have the the help of insurance. And uh so yeah, a lot of things we were thankful for. Amen.

SPEAKER_10

Now uh when something like that happens, it makes you take stock of your blessings, uh the things that went well, uh aside from losing the house and all your material things. Uh, but it also makes you probably look more look forward to uh, you know, what you have left and what you can still do. And uh I imagine that uh maybe Sandy has given you a little different light when Scott asks you to go on a trip and he has like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Maybe that's you know, maybe a little quicker to say yes. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

I have never met a man who has had so many once in a lifetime opportunity. And early in our marriage, like I was sensitive to it. Like he's like Sandy, like I don't think you understand like Canada, duck hunting, like this is once in a lifetime. Like this just doesn't come around very often. And I'm like, oh my goodness. Once a year, I mean, you know. Right, you should. A few years later, like Sandy, like North Dakota. I mean, the deer out there are insane. Like, and we have this opportunity. I don't have to pay for a plane ticket because we're taking like this camper. Like, I don't think you understand. Like, this this opportunity just does not come across.

SPEAKER_08

Kind of wish you'd talk me out of that one.

SPEAKER_03

Very often. Once in a lifetime. I've never met a man with so many once in a lifetime.

SPEAKER_00

Is that the way he proposed to you? Do you like saying here? We'll give you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, right?

SPEAKER_03

Once in a lifetime opportunity. Oh god, no, but thank you.

SPEAKER_08

I couldn't think of any words that night.

SPEAKER_10

Well, I remember one time there was a trip that uh I was trying to get Scott to go on, uh, and uh I was home on a furlough, and I wanted him to go on a little golfing trip with me, and um he pitched it to you, and we he'd already had some fun that year and done some other things and and he and him telling you, Sandy, Scott, Stephen isn't home from Africa. I don't know when I'm ever gonna see him again. This is our one chance at play golf. And so we got that, he got the kitchen pass, and we went, we had a great time. And it just so happened it it my travel schedule worked out. I was home next fall.

unknown

Just so happened.

SPEAKER_02

It just kind of worked out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But yeah, it's good stuff. Good stuff. So but going back to fire real quick, I can remember like that night, and it like it not the impact it had on y'all, but even Kim and I like. So we came over there and saw y'all. And and truly, when they say they had nothing, they had nothing. I mean, it was it was humbling. We got, you know, we came over to the house, and Scott and I were talking about insurance a little bit and just kind of prepping some stuff like, hey, these are some first steps you need to do, and that kind of stuff. But then just like I know Kim talking to Sandy and stuff, and just like they didn't have anything. And it was like, I think they're still barefooted. It was it was crazy at that time. And just like to say, like, what would you do and and all that kind of stuff, and everybody's talking about, well, if my house's on fire, running here and do something. There's no time to do anything. Use it seven minutes, it was gone.

SPEAKER_01

No time.

SPEAKER_00

And so just crazy how humbling it was just for other people to take stock and like what do you have and what you appreciate and everything.

SPEAKER_10

Well, to that point, kind of a funny story, but it makes your point. Uh, I would see Scott over the next six months, and maybe I'd go play golf with him, and he'd be wearing like a nice new golf shirt. And he'd like new golf shoes. I'd be like, Oh, look at Fancy Pony, got new clothes on. He's like, everything I had burns down. I feel so bad. And then we go hunting and he'd like a new hunting jacket. I'm like, ooh, hunting jacket.

SPEAKER_00

He lost his visor and his jersey, though. That was terrible.

SPEAKER_10

And the Schmedium green t-shirt. It was the Negan's Moo Glasses.

SPEAKER_00

We could go on and on. What was the t-shirt that he bought every year? He lost that. Uh I got a story real quick. Just a moment. A little bit of a rattle-round question we're gonna ask. Remembers this probably. And and Sandy may remember this. I don't know. I know Sarah probably remembers it because do you remember when I got the call for the international incident?

unknown

Do you remember?

SPEAKER_00

Steven and Scott are part of this um, as one of our friends would say, a cabal. Um they have a little golf group, and and top secret sea for street stuff goes on in the this golf group, and and one of the details of the golf group kind of got leaked out by the city. I don't know what we were talking about. I have no idea. And anyway, I found out about it and just just casually just threw it out to see what would happen. Had no idea where this thing was going at all. Stephen is is over in Africa, he's he's doing the Lord's work over in Africa. Scott's in in Columbia, and I just kind of threw this thing out there just to see if anybody would bite. And I had no idea what was gonna happen. Like I saw this little picture and somebody, quote unquote, broken the code, and that, you know, oh, nothing gets shared, and this or whatever, and all that kind of stuff. And it was pretty interesting.

SPEAKER_10

And so we we had we had, you know, uh other people, not Scott and I, but other people had shared, you know, maybe questionable material at some point or another, and we were like, you know, we just need to make sure that we all understand we we need to be careful that we wouldn't ever we'd be breaking a code if you were ever shared a stuff.

SPEAKER_00

So so I know a couple of the guys in this golf group, and and once once they are aware that I have this scene, this whatever hidden information, um, I start getting calls from all the locals to start with. All the locals, uh Scott being the first one multiple times. Uh we we need to know where where'd it come from? Like where'd you get this? Oh, how'd you how'd you get the picture? What was I mean it was just on and on and on. And it wasn't it wasn't a bad, I mean, it wasn't anything terrible. It was just it was just the fact that they have this little group.

SPEAKER_10

If I remember right, it was a meme making fun of one of the guys in the group, and nobody wanted to do that people.

SPEAKER_00

And like I said, it wasn't any, it wasn't anything like it's nothing bad, y'all like that. But it's just a matter of they got this little group, and it's a little tight-knit group, and somebody had shared part of the group. And so Scott's like, where'd you get it? Where'd you get it? I didn't know where'd you get it? I mean, it's just on online, and so I'm like playing open.

SPEAKER_08

And I think, I don't know, maybe Mama's good at dodging questions, by the way.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe, maybe somebody else comes in. I mean, like asking fishing questions, and I'm not giving a whole lot of information. And so somebody else in the middle attitude. Somebody else calls and I'm like, y'all hey, this is pretty serious. I'm I mean, I'm laying on the couch and it's I don't know, 10 o'clock at night or 11 o'clock at night or whatever. I get this ring, this phone call from some number I don't recognize. I don't know if Kim remembers or not. But it's Stephen called me from Africa. He's like, Bo, we need to talk serious. I'm like, what in the world?

SPEAKER_02

What's going on?

SPEAKER_00

Are you a gay? Are you alive? Do you need that? What's the matter? We we we just we just need to know, like, like, but you don't understand. It's a lifelong friendship. They are on the line. We we we got to know where the league, where did this come from? She would be the diplomat. And I was like, what the heck? International incident we have going on right here. This is like this is going to another continent. And so anyway, finally it all came out. It was no big deal, but it was pretty interesting. The international incident. I don't know if the wives were pivoted to all this drama that was going on amongst the group or not. I don't think they knew all the drama. I don't think they did.

SPEAKER_04

It's a little bit funny to me that girls often get labeled as drama. But I will tell you, there is a lot of drama when it comes to hunting and fishing and being outside. And they end it up. They love it. Oh, they do. Oh, yes. Oh my mercy, the drama I've heard about fishing spots. So-and-so is in my fishing spot. But stuff like this. Like just stirring a pot. Like stirring. I got a story. I'm not gonna tell you. Bubba will bring him up.

SPEAKER_10

Speaking of stirring, speaking of stirring, Bubba's got his own pot.

SPEAKER_02

Bubba will bring his own spoon. That's right.

SPEAKER_10

Bubba's got a big spoon. I want to do that. Kim.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_10

What is uh one outdoor hobby that you actually secretly enjoy with Bubba?

SPEAKER_04

Well, it's not.

SPEAKER_00

Is it yard work?

SPEAKER_04

Well, that was gonna be what I said later. But if you have an outdoorsman, you probably have a professional landscaper because you don't your man don't have time for it. Um let's see. Um I mean honestly, I like to go fishing with him, but I don't fish. I love a boat ride. And so you just sun. I do. I do. I love being on the boat with him. And so anytime, a lot of times after church, um we have two favorite well, we'll go down to either um the lake and go on the boat, but my other thing is I like to go on the river. Okay. And so we'll put in at packs and we'll go ride the river, and it's so fun. But I love a boat ride. I'm a sucker for a boat ride.

SPEAKER_10

Sucker for a boat ride.

SPEAKER_04

So he can fish and I can ride.

SPEAKER_10

I love it. All right, Sandy, what's the one thing outdoors that you really enjoy, maybe still with Scott?

SPEAKER_03

I I I love to fish if I could get Scott to take me. But I do love to fish. We've gone some over the years, but it's kind of tapered off. The last when we moved towards Lake Murray, you know it kind of tapered off. We were we weren't able to fish very much.

SPEAKER_10

Well, you need to tell him you got some once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to go fishing, and you need to get on the horse.

SPEAKER_07

Well, I will say she beats my brains out every time we go fishing. She's not true. It is true. She she's got a knack.

SPEAKER_00

And we have something in common.

SPEAKER_07

I well it it it must have skipped the sibling code because she she and George are right next to each other, so she catches way more fish than George does. Uh-huh. Um, and and so when I when we do go, and when we have been, whether it's at Dinkins Mill or at Gordon Michaels Pond, um she can flat catch a fish.

SPEAKER_03

We did that growing up, and my daddy, when we were all little, we would go to the lake, like I said, every year that one week, and from the time we could hold a fishing pole, he would take a little fish that we had already caught, and he would sneak under the dock and like put it on our hook and like pull it and for us to catch. And so we just loved fishing and we loved that part of it. And um I will say that the first time I went with Scott, he baited my hook. And I thought, I don't think I'm gonna tell him that I know how to do that because I like this. And so he takes my fish off and he baits my hook and I let him do it.

SPEAKER_07

That's the thing that's funny about Sandy fishing is you know, when we get a bite and we're getting ready to hook a fish, you know, we'll say something like, ooh, there's one, and and then we'll set the hook. Yeah. Um, or bubble say, you know, fish on, fish on. Get the net. When Sandy catches a fish, she doesn't say anything. Quite. You have no idea that she's got a fish on until you just happen to look up there and her rod tip's bent over to the water and she's kind of half giggling. She's already a head up.

SPEAKER_08

I mean, you couldn't give me a heads up or anything. She's like, I got one, I got one.

SPEAKER_00

One day I'm gonna figure out what Scott says when he gets one on.

SPEAKER_10

Good luck. You hold your breath. Uh Sarah, what's uh what's the one thing that you maybe secretly love to do outdoors? If you had to go out there, what is it you want to do?

SPEAKER_05

Fly fish.

SPEAKER_10

Fly fishing. Tell us about that. What did you learn to fly fish?

SPEAKER_05

Well, we were in Kenya and we had some good friends that told us about this amazing forest where we could go fly fishing. And you convinced me that they had little cabins and you would pack everything up for cooking over the fire.

SPEAKER_08

But I was hot water in these cabins?

SPEAKER_05

No hot water. But I would sleep on a cot.

SPEAKER_08

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

And he rolled up a little mattress for me, and I said, Well, baby, what do I need fly fishing? And he said, You don't need anything. Just you just come, I'll take care of it. Well, I show up in the cutest little cotton dress and big hat, and the Kenyans want to know where my boots were. What they call them, rubbers.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And I told them, all I have were my sandals. And they got on the back of a boda, a motorcycle.

SPEAKER_10

And went to town.

SPEAKER_05

And went to town with like, came back with three used pairs of rubbers. Oh wow. And I put those boots on. I put those black rubber boots on. And I went to walk through the forest. And nobody told me that there were leopards, and it was truly wild. And I kept feeling little scratches, but I loved, I loved walking along the river and standing in the river and fly fishing. I just loved it. Well, later that night I kept itching and I looked down and I said, Baby, what's wrong with my legs? And from my knees to my belly button were covered in these bites, these little critters that were on the what were those little plants that were like knee high? There's a reason everybody. It was in pants. And they had eaten me alive.

SPEAKER_10

Well, I think of some bugs, but also some like a stinging nettle type plant. You know, it doesn't hurt you right when you brush by it, but it immediately starts kind of tickling just kind of like. Exactly. Gannett. Just like the gannettes.

SPEAKER_05

But uh, you know, it was very pure fly fishing. There were no bells and whistles, uh, a little pole, and and we loved it.

SPEAKER_10

She was like a river runs through it. It was beautiful.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, it was beautiful.

SPEAKER_10

No, actually, it was not like a river runs through it, because we're in a forest in a mountain stream, and so everything's tight, everything's close, there's none of this big stuff. And so it's really about trying to cast it into the right spot and letting it drift down. So we were both learning.

SPEAKER_00

You really reminded her of Brad Pitt, though. I mean, I put it out.

SPEAKER_05

He did.

SPEAKER_10

Only when I took my shirt off.

SPEAKER_05

That's right.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So but our boys fell in love with it.

SPEAKER_10

Fell in love.

SPEAKER_05

Fell in love with it.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, and to this day, they've got the fishing boat on account of the fly fishing there. That was really the only fishing that we did. We did a little bit at the beach while we were there, but that was the main thing that they were able to do from a hunting fishing standpoint in Kenya was to do that fly fishing. So that was a lot of fun. All right, I want to ask another question, kind of the inverse. What is it, what do you hate most about the outdoors? When when your husband asks you to do something outdoors, like, what's the one thing you're not gonna go do?

SPEAKER_05

Hike.

SPEAKER_10

Hike? Yeah, I I can verify that. She's telling the truth. Sandy, what's the one thing like no way, Jose?

SPEAKER_03

I will never get up before the crack of dawn, especially when it's under 55 degrees outside, ever. No desire.

SPEAKER_08

Yeah, cold and sandy do not mix. Yeah. Kimberly.

SPEAKER_04

Um, I would never duck hunt. Just not gonna do it. Nope. It's early, it's cold, it's wet, no. And my boys love it. My boys love it, duck hunting. But no, I'm not gonna do that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But I will say this, you'll go on a dog drive in a heartbeat.

SPEAKER_04

I have been on a dog drive.

SPEAKER_00

You can sit on a dog, she'll go sit on a stool on a dog drive in a heartbeat.

SPEAKER_04

I have, and it was early.

SPEAKER_00

And it was cold.

SPEAKER_04

And it was a little bit chilly, but I wasn't wet, so that was good.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, not being wet and cold. That's a that's a big thing. If you can keep away from those two together, you can kind of survive.

SPEAKER_00

You speaking early, I'm thinking that we may need to have a husband-wife dink in the mill classic sometime out here.

SPEAKER_08

We can do that. I will not help you any, baby. Oh, yeah. All we gotta do is talk. Don't worry about catching. Stephen will invent some category y'all in the problem.

SPEAKER_02

Y'all will win something drinking.

SPEAKER_10

Whatever it takes. Okay, speaking of being married, uh, at the end of the last episode, we talked a little bit about how much we appreciated y'all, how much we loved you, and how much we complimented each other, and we can see it in each of our marriages, and thank the Lord for that. So uh not to get too sappy or too um hyper-spiritual, but I would like to talk about marriage just for a moment, uh, because I think we have not perfect, but three marriages that are healthy and always working towards trying to be healthy. Um so uh how do you I'll start with maybe Johnson's on the end. How do you balance both of your hobbies? I mean, because there's things that you like to do, Kim, that he doesn't like to do the way he likes to hunt and fish. How do you balance those uh in a marriage so that there's a uh maybe there's a little tension, but it's not a bad thing and it's not eroding any part of that relationship?

SPEAKER_04

Right. Um I think that um it's great for us to have those separate interests. And um I think Sandy um said it earlier, but I know that when Bubba goes off and he's hunting or fishing, he loves being outside. He loves um being in creation and he likes an early morning, he likes to watch the sunrise, he talks about that a lot, but he spends a lot of time with the Lord um in those early morning hours, and I know it's good for him. He works hard during the week, he's a great provider, and um I think it's good for him to have that kind of downtime um what what whatever he's doing outside, it's really good for him, and so that's important, and I think we both, like you said, we both have hobbies. Um, but we don't resent each other for those hobbies. And um I love that he can go and do what he wants to do, and he knows that there are gonna be things that I want to do. Um, and he is really good at um jumping in and doing the things that I want to do, maybe not when he really wants to do them. So I do think it's a balance. Um, we have our separate things, but we have things that we love together, and um I don't know, I think it I think it's it's probably I've learned a lot from him with his outdoor things, and I know that um as we prepare to be empty nesters very soon, I probably will spend a lot more time with him learning about the things that he likes to see outside.

SPEAKER_00

And this I think it was a compromise too. I'm not just jumping in with it, but it it is a compromise. Like she loved to sit on the beach. I mean, and and I I like to go to the beach, but I don't like to sit on the beach. So I'll I'll take my little surf rod and I'll throw out a piece of shrimp, and every little kid that walks by I'll let them reel one in, and it's just fun doing that, and she's getting the sun, and we just have a good time doing it, and then we'll go get something to eat, and just like trying to compromise, make make it work out where she's got her thing going on, and I can do a little bit of mine, and she doesn't get mad for me having a surf rod in the car and poking people in the eye, and she's got her beach chair in the car, and it just works. And so anything like that, whether we go wherever we go, somehow or another, I integrated a little bit of fishing in, and we still have a trip. We went on Alaska one time, and some people didn't understand that, and this is a pretty neat little story. I don't know how much time we have, but it's a pretty good little story.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, we went to Alaska one time and and we he I don't know how he did it, but we were looking at bald eagles, and um next thing I know Bubba's gone. I don't see it.

SPEAKER_00

We were a little coupled that we admit.

SPEAKER_04

Yep, and next thing I know he's gone, and there was a man, I had seen him, he was fishing for salmon, and um Bubba had managed to somehow another get his rod, and Bubba was now fishing for salmon while we were all looking at bald eagles, and I said, I don't know how it happened, but Bubba has made this a fishing. This has turned into a fishing experience.

SPEAKER_00

And I caught one, a giant one. Kim walked up, she, I'm fighting this big salmon, and Kim was like, How did this happen? She's got it all on video. She said, How did this happen? I was like, Well, my good friend here asked me if I wanted to catch one. And I did, and I probably was mostly legal. I don't know that I had my Alaska license at the time, I might have. But I was mostly legal, but it was uh you had to see the day, Coffee DM. I'm a little Latin for y'all, but hey.

SPEAKER_10

I think of Latin, I think of Bubba.

SPEAKER_00

They don't have all those rules up there, do they? I still think of Latin. It's like the final frontier. Wilson Hall, my Latin one and two teacher at Wilson Hall.

SPEAKER_10

Uh Sky and Sandy, tell us about it. You've been doing a long time and with more kids than any of us have, six of them. What does it take to balance it well to still be able to be outside and go and do, but in a way that is healthy?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I think for us it's it's taken communication was one of the big helpful feedbacks when we got married, but in communication, just understanding the other's perspective, um, because that's how you get to know each other better. You know, we're all self-centered and we all know how we're wired, but you're learning somebody else and how they're wired. And early in our marriage, you know, we had a house full of kids, and I would be exhausted. There was always a baby that wasn't sleeping, and um Scott would be like, I think I'm gonna go hunting in the morning. And I'm being honest, like there were times that I was like, in my mind, you are so selfish. Like, don't you see the work that needs to be done that is never gonna stop? Like, I need help. And so what I've come to love about him over the years is just what I said earlier. Like, he's taking care of what he needs, his stress levels, so that he can come home and pour into us, and he can come home and help wash the dishes or stay up with the baby or whatever else needs to be done. And that's why he's a different person. Like, that's how he unwinds, and that's how he decompresses. But I also reflect, I'm a perfectionist, and so I wait until the perfect time when everything's done, and then I'll go do these things. But he's lived life and made so many memories at the imperfect times that he's now got this collection of of memories. You you see what I'm saying? Like that's excuse me, that's the other perspective. Is I'm not doing this to be selfish, I'm doing this so that I can pour into y'all, and because I'm making memories, you know, with with our kids and other stuff in the meantime. I mean, there's a lot of kids, so there were always sleepless babies home with me when he would take the older kids. So there was just a hard season that was just part of life, but we communicated during that time, and so it was helpful for me to hear his perspective and to understand what that meant to him that um it wasn't what I in the negative sense. I wasn't being positive enough enough above him. But in my negative sense, I wasn't seeing and appreciating the beauty and the goodness and what he was doing during that. So that's a good word.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, and I would say once your kids get old enough to go, taking them becomes the focus of going. And once you start to experience the outdoors, I'll say all over again with them through their eyes, you you start to make those memories that are gonna, you know, be their imprint of time together. And and Sandy, of course, because she grew up seeing that and being a part of that, which is one of the reasons why I I loved her early, is she values that and you know I think I think you know, life's hard no matter what, um, whether you live in the city and don't ever get outside, or whether you are you know able to go, it still is a sacrifice for um moms to stay home, dads to stay home, um but as long as she saw the value from a parenting perspective, because ultimately we have the same goals for our kids. We want to see them grow up healthy, we want to see them grow up with values uh around the things that we love, we want to see them um learn to love being with us, and you know, it became easier and easier because I did want to carry kids with me, even though it's harder to carry kids with you hunting from a success standpoint. It it's less about success and it's more about being there with them.

SPEAKER_03

Um yeah, and we last year for Father's Day, um I don't I don't think we were together. I think you were out of town. A couple of our kids were out of town, and so I texted the kids that weren't at home and then the ones that were at home. I asked them separately, like they they weren't together, but I asked them three things. I said, What do you love about Papa? What do you enjoy doing with Papa? And what's your favorite memory with him that y'all have made? And all of them, it related to something with the outdoors, um, hunting, fishing, camping, the trip you and Sarah Knox went on. Um, and I didn't know that that was gonna be their answer, but it was with all of them. So I thought it was really cool because I put it to music, a little um Canva or whatever. Um, and when I went back and watched it, I was like, that that sums it up right there.

SPEAKER_10

So all those once-in-a-lifetime trips paid off right there.

SPEAKER_02

Those two went on the load.

SPEAKER_10

So I think that he was decompressed so that he could do all those things. Sarah, you listen to those two couples talk about balance and and figuring out how to do this well. You got any additional thoughts or some wisdom you want to pour into that?

SPEAKER_05

I think they have answered it well. I when we were newly married, I really struggled because I like to shop and go out to eat. And you could go play basketball and you could hunt and you could fish and you could do things with friends that didn't require a lot of money. And I can remember struggling and having to learn to communicate. And you quickly realized if you would be intentional with time with me, take me on a date, take me away for a weekend, do special things with me, then my love tank was full and I was happy to see you enjoying hobbies and being outdoors that you liked.

SPEAKER_10

All right, I'm gonna stick with you and then we're gonna work back down the table again. And as we are kind of drawing to a close and trying to maybe tie some of this up, but um again, listen, I don't want any of our listeners to think that we think that we've got marriage figured out, any of us, right? I mean, we we can go home tonight and argue about something. Uh, but we are pursuing healthy and pursuing Jesus and in that trying to sharpen each other and love each other well. So um knowing that we are not perfect, but is there some marriage advice you would give to either a couple that's our age that maybe is struggling, or a young couple that's trying to find their way and with balance and hobbies and outdoors?

SPEAKER_05

Um I think I off the cuff would say laugh often. I mean, I think there's times where you just have to laugh to keep from crying. And it's biblical. The Proverbs 31 woman, you know, laughed at the days ahead. And so I think sometimes, you know, we just need to remember God created us to laugh and um to laugh at each other, to laugh at ourselves. We we laugh a lot, and on the mission field, there were many a days where it was hard, and we both just wanted to cry and give up, and we would just laugh. Um and so I would say laugh often and prioritize your marriage. Um make time to be together, make time to go away together, let your children see you're prioritizing each other. Um, let your children see dad's dating mom. And yeah, I think that I love it.

SPEAKER_10

Scott and Sandy, either one of you want to add any nugget.

SPEAKER_03

I I would say, in addition to communicating and seeing the other's perspective, is just assuming the best of the other person, like especially when something doesn't make sense. When you're thinking like, wow, he's really grumpy today or whatever. Just assuming the best. Like, how was your day today? What happened? Are you okay? Um, what's behind this? And just assuming that like knowing that he didn't marry you like without thought, or you know, he married you because he loves you and um there's usually a reason. There's usually something underlying, whether it's the day or the week or the season that you're in, that um encourage one another and dive deeper into like don't let it stew, don't sweep it under the rug, deal with it head on. Um we've had a lot of you know wet nosed, sloppy crying arguments. I thought you were gonna say kissing, I was gonna kill you. I wouldn't say a lot. No. We haven't had a lot of those, but we have had them. But the reality is those are the ones that you come away with understanding the other person a little bit better when you take the time to to listen and to understand and to pursue getting to know each other.

SPEAKER_07

Yep, and keep doing that.

SPEAKER_03

I got a story about that, sorry. I remember telling him early in our marriage, I said, you know what? I'm I'm coming, I'm very proudful. I'm learning and talking out loud right now, but um I said, you know what? When we got married, I became a student of Scott Dinkins. Like I, everything you like, everything you said, I just like made a mental note of it, and I just tucked it away for whatever. I just don't feel like you've done that for me. And he looked at me and he said, Sandy, I could write a 10,000 page book on Sandy Dinkins or Sandy Knowlton Dinkins, and I still wouldn't understand you. Or they could write, somebody could write a 10,000 page book, and I still wouldn't understand you.

SPEAKER_05

So I like what you said though about believe the best in each other. That's a good word.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, and we heard this, I think, from your parents, um, that divorce is never a conversation, it's never uh a joke, it's it's never a word that we utter in our house. And so there's never like the baseline, however bad it is in any particular fight or frustration, like quitting's not an option. Um you know, and so we're gonna work through this, and it might take time and it might be uncomfortable, but we don't threaten divorce, we don't talk about divorce, we don't joke about divorce. It's a it's a word that we don't use. Um and that was really helpful for us uh along and along because you do, I mean, marriage is hard. Um you're living with a sinner as a sinner, and so that is just a recipe for disagreement and frustration. Um, and so the gospel has to be at the center, um, which tells me that you know I make all kinds of mistakes that I've been forgiven of. And my wife is also a sinner who uh has been forgiven but also needs my forgiveness uh just as bad as bad as I need hers. And so when you work from that central point of, you know, I'm a sinner in need of grace, um, and so therefore I should be willing to extend grace to the sinner that I live with who has also received forgiveness, um, then it doesn't make every argument easy, but it it does give you a baseline to work from, um, which isn't I'm done with you. It's I'm gonna figure out how to understand and show grace and admit my mistake and ask for forgiveness and um and then you know, expect you to to do the same thing um when when you're need you know you you need to apologize, you need to seek forgiveness from me. And being willing to extend that because, you know, if we're honest, we all make mistakes, and if we're honest, we all need forgiveness. Um and that's a central tenet of making a marriage work.

SPEAKER_10

Amen. Good word. All right, I'm gonna give it uh to the Johnsons for one more, and I'll get if they've got something they want to add or something from some personal experience that is good to remember as you are living a married life if you're listening.

SPEAKER_04

Um, I would say like like Sarah said, um, we try to laugh a lot, we try to have fun. Um I think you can't take things too personal, and I think you um need to keep things in perspective. And so um arguments are gonna happen, but just keep it in perspective. Um don't let the big things be the biggest things, like work through it and then move on. Um one thing I will say when we had our premarital counseling with Dr. Goodrow many, many years ago, um, we failed um back then we had a Scantron test as part of our premarital counseling, and Bubba and I failed um marital expectations as well.

SPEAKER_00

We failed it after after Kim retook it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I had to retake it once I skipped a bubble on the Scantron, and you know what happens when you skip a bubble. We weren't even compatible at all.

SPEAKER_00

We didn't go mad. It was really bad.

SPEAKER_04

And so then I had to retake the Scantron, and then I we legit failed marital expectations and what we learned, and he said, and he was right, he said the biggest source of conflict in your marriage will be that you expect something of him and he expects something of you, because it was both ways. We both failed it. Um and you won't communicate that with the other. You'll make the assumption that he knows, he'll make the assumption, he'll make the assumption that I know, and we'll both be upset with the other because they didn't do what we thought they should do they should do. So we um we know that, and we've known that from before we ever got married, and so that's really important, I think, for us is to kind of say, okay, we're gonna do this, and this is what we need to happen, and this is what we want to happen. Um so just communication, um, and especially about those expectations.

SPEAKER_00

And I guess to add, and I don't I mean, we can maybe use this as a word saying whatever, but I mean, as I think, and and this is uh these are two people that are not married yet. Um as I look at us and everything, one of the things that that I see people doing, and we've had some people in our life that have done this, is they settle. And they they don't whatever standard they feel like they set for their spouse to be or whatever, they kind of compromise on that and they settle. And I would say don't settle. Trust God because I know that Kim was made for me. And the night that I proposed to her, I was peeking at a youth event at the at the at Ben Bush's house in his backyard, and I talked about the faithfulness of God. And I had always had this idea of what I thought my wife was gonna be like, what she was gonna look like, what she was gonna act like, and everything else. And I told the youth group this I have 40 processes. Students there. And I just said, Kim came in my life, and she's nothing like that. She's nothing like the girl that I always thought this is what I'm gonna marry. This is who it's gonna be like and everything. I said, She's so much more than I could have ever dreamed, that I could have ever imagined for myself. And I said, and that's why I've got to ask her to marry me. And I got down on my knee and I proposed to her, and it was it was a pretty amazing time. But I really mean that sincerely, y'all. Don't settle for, hey, I just feel like I need to get married. It's this time or whatever. Because that sometimes ends in disaster. And and God's got that person out there. You just got He does, He may or may not, but He's gonna give you a piece at it, whichever way it's gonna be. But just trust God and have faith that He will provide. Because I see, like in these couples right here, and my wife and Sandy and Sarah, how perfect they are for each of us. And that's what God wants for y'all, y'all. That's what he wants for our relationships, is to have somebody that's gonna be a helpmate and somebody that we're gonna laugh with and we're gonna cry with and we're gonna have fun with. And and that's that it's not always roses like Scott said. I mean, we're all butt heads and bump heads because we're sinners, but God is amazing, and y'all just have to trust him.

SPEAKER_10

Amen. That's a good word, Bubba. Um, you you talked about Dr. Goodrow and doing a personality test. Sarah, we've been married maybe a year, and is that right? And and we were at First Baptist, and Goodrow did some kind of marriage thing.

SPEAKER_05

Ryan Pack. Ryan Pack. Yes. That's who it was. Did a personality test. What happened?

SPEAKER_10

What did they tell us?

SPEAKER_05

Well, he did this personality test where it's like A F G and I J K, and he says, stand up and go to this, stand up if you're I F J. Stand up if you're J K L and sit down. And all of a sudden he said, Now, if anyone is, and he named the three letters, and these three letters stand up. And Steve and I were the only two people of 150, yeah, 150, 200 people that stood up. And we looked at each other like a deer in headlights, and he said, Well, you will either end up divorced or dynamic. And we were like, What? Because our personality somehow in this personality test together, we're gonna be divorced, we were gonna clash, or we were gonna be really good together. And we committed then, we're gonna be really good together.

SPEAKER_10

And we have not always been, but we've tried. We all are. We've read odds.

SPEAKER_05

I remember that couple. I remember that, yes. I mean, at 23 years old to be told, based on your personalities, you're gonna end up in a divorce or dynamic.

SPEAKER_02

Whatever you're in.

SPEAKER_05

It wasn't gonna be very humbling. It was very, very humbling, and it was a reminder to us at an early age. We desperately were gonna need Jesus.

SPEAKER_10

No, but and I think all these guys would say that all the wives would too. We wouldn't do anything different. We'd do it all over again. Andalos, um, marriage is a blessing. The Lord's given it to us. We're thankful for. I hope our listeners have enjoyed, again, kind of peeking behind the curtain and seeing a little bit of our family life, a little bit of our marriages and the relationships that we have. And uh, it's easy to come and laugh with Bub and Scott because it's easy to go home and laugh with Sarah. And I know they feel the same way about Sandy and Kim. And it's easy for us to get together when there aren't microphones and we're just hanging out and laughing. That's how I knew it'll lead into a lot of the stories because I've heard those stories before, and y'all have had us wheezing uh and laughing and uh can't catch our breath with some of these stories. Marriage is a lot of fun if you don't take yourself too seriously. And uh and remember, every story, even when it's bad, it'll turn out to be a pretty good story, and you should learn something from it down the road. I hope our listeners have learned a little something. We're gonna wrap this episode up. We want to thank our wives for being here again, and we want to thank those listeners for hanging in there with a little bit of uh maybe um different episode that wasn't maybe quite as full of as many stories, but a few tidbits on marriage. We hope you hung in there with us and enjoyed it. Look forward to being with you on another mostly illegal Monday. God bless you.

SPEAKER_06

So I'm not gonna give a ton to think about today. I just want to read from Psalm 103, a great psalm of worship and a reminder of what we're made to do. You and I were made to worship. Uh we were made to adore and treasure something, and we can either make idols of our own creation or we can worship and adore and treasure the Creator. Psalm 103, verse 1 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the dead, who pray who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good, so that your youth is renewed like the eagles. We're made to worship. And when we worship the Creator, we find our ultimate purpose, we find our maximum fulfillment. When God is most glorified in us, we are most satisfied in him. That's what John Piper built his ministry on is this idea that our life is meant to be seeking God's glory and not our own. So if you think about Psalm 103, have a great week. And we hope you enjoyed our episode with the ladies.

Contributor

Stephen Dinkins

Host
Contributor

Bubba Johnston

Co-host
Contributor

Sandy Sanders

Co-host
Contributor

Scott Dinkins

Co-host