Three Anchors: Faith, Boundaries, and Dates

Wired Together gets real about the small business “struggle bus” and why balance is not something you find, it is something you choose and build. Jason and Melanie share their three anchors for staying grounded when work, kids, and community demands all pull at once. They tie it to a simple chess analogy: protect the King (faith), choose your moves with intention (boundaries), and protect the Queen (your relationship).

If you and your spouse run a business together, or if life just feels like nonstop decisions, this episode gives you a simple way to reset, reconnect, and play the long game.

🎧 Wired Together is produced by WinternetWeb Technologies, a family-run web design and tech studio based in Bracey, Virginia.
💻 Visit us at winternetweb.com 

Transcript

Melanie 0:06

Welcome back to Wire Together. Thank you so much for being and listening to us and we are so happy to be back.

Jason 0:15

Yeah, we'd r rather be here than some other places, but I think that'll make sense a little bit later.

Melanie 0:20

We have been um been through the struggle bus on this past couple of months, and so uh it was perfectly poignant to start with um this episode being about the we're gonna call it the work-life balance.

Jason 0:38

Yeah, that makes sense.

Melanie 0:39

Um work-life balance is important in any industry, important in anything that you're doing. Um all of us have to figure that out and have to make it work for us. Um we're obviously gonna very specifically talk about small business work-life balance. And so with small business, small town, you know, we um in running the business together, this kind of puts it into a very different perspective. Um, so it is both of us. So both of us are kind of 24-7 uh for one or not web, but we're also 24-7 with everything else. So 24-7 uh kids, family, uh, community ties, and um there is work that encroaches and yet work that is necessary within all of that. So we're it it's always about balance and it's always about re-establishing and making sure that balance stays where it's supposed to be.

Jason 1:40

Exactly.

Melanie 1:41

So we kind of came up with three anchors. Um, three anchors for us.

Jason 1:46

So this is gonna be a little more of a kind of more of a conversational, more yeah, like maybe a a takeaway, not that we're perfect at it, but Oh, no, no. You said that really strong. Very strongly. Um you know, kind of uh an allegorical kind of concept that will go along with this, um, kind of related to chess. And um that will loosely relate this to chess just because it's fun and I mean I mean, chess is definitely a game of decisions. Um in and of itself. Yeah, in life a battle. But you know, sometimes, you know, y you're on the offensive when it's like, alright, go, I'm gonna do this. But sometimes um you need to make decisions and be, you know, defensive. They see sometimes a strong defense is a strong offense, and that is always true, because sometimes you're needing to protect certain things and then make a decision later. So but I think that's all gonna unfold.

Melanie 2:46

Yeah, and so if we've definitely learned, you know, the hard way.

Jason 2:51

Oh, yeah, definitely.

Melanie 2:52

That balance is not by accident. Balance is something you choose, something you actually create, something you work towards.

Jason 3:01

Right.

Melanie 3:02

Um, you don't just kind of balance, you have to balance. You actively do it, you actively balance, and so that's the the big takeaway. Um, again, kind of specific to us, but I think it really resonates with other mom and pop, small town or small business uh oriented people.

Jason 3:20

We've talked to other couples and like, look, I get it, you know. Russian.

Melanie 3:23

I love talking to small business people. Unfortunately, we don't get to because they're just as busy.

Jason 3:29

I know, but I mean, and sometimes some of our clients are in our same situation. Yes. And then it'll be, you know, you'll uh they'll reach out to you and be like, Oh, I'm so sorry. I know I told you I'd send that to you last Thursday, but um so-and-so had a softball tournament. Um this my husband is about to go off on a a trip, and you know, the family had it prepared, and I'm like, stop, stop. I I get it. Right, you know, and you don't need to explain, but I mean we we want to because we are always find ourselves in that uh tug of war. Yes, and you know, we you know, you unfortunately we always feel guilty over what we're not addressing or getting to, but you can't do it all.

Melanie 4:08

No, and so that's we've come up with three anchors, so our anchors that keep us grounded. Um the first one is faith.

Jason 4:19

Oh shit, that's a tricky. Yep, digging.

Melanie 4:22

That's why it's first diggin. And boundaries. You do have to set boundaries and you have to make those boundaries, and that's not just setting boundaries with clients, it's not just setting boundaries with Winternet Web, right? That is setting boundaries in general. Sure. So that's gonna be every piece. And then um the third anchor. The third anchor is the relationship, so dating. The in a mom and pop, right, we we have a marriage and we have a business.

Jason 4:52

Right.

Melanie 4:52

Which one comes first? And so sometimes the dating has to come first, sometimes the marriage has to be number one with the business being number two, and then because most of the time it's the other way around.

Jason 5:07

Yeah. I mean, we've talked about the winter network baby, right? Which is how, you know, earlier, like and this started years ago, but it it was when when our business, say, was on fire, and you know, when something's on fire, you gotta address it.

Melanie 5:22

It's crying, crying.

Jason 5:23

Right, it's crying, it's right, exactly. It needs it's hungry, it's tired, it's all it's all the above. And it was kind of like, look, we got this, it's like fine, all right. When in a web baby needs attention, and you know, if your own baby needs attention, you don't give it a second thought. So, but also Yes, we have three children. Right.

Melanie 5:41

Two that are two that are walked on two legs, and oh my gosh, most beautiful children, yep, and then the the business.

Jason 5:50

But I mean, in a relationship, uh, if the relationship is suffering, you it's hard to you know have the energy and passion for the baby, too, you know, because then then the baby becomes stressful.

Melanie 6:06

Right.

Jason 6:07

So as part of the moves is you're just making moves as opposed to exactly so that's why all this is important. I think this is a good idea. And I'm telling I'm telling you that because I mean you you came to me with that. I'm like, oh my gosh, it's perfect.

Melanie 6:21

So anyway, um jumping in, yep, anger one, yep, relying on faith. So we're gonna relate the faith to the king.

Jason 6:31

Yep, obviously the king the king chess piece here, but refers to no chess game without the king. Exactly.

Melanie 6:37

So there is no chess game, right? So that is the it is not worth playing, and it's not worth doing without the king's down, you're done. Faith.

Jason 6:47

Yeah, exactly.

Melanie 6:48

And that is our biggest anchor, that's why it's first.

Jason 6:53

Yeah.

Melanie 6:54

Um, this is the thing that actually is means the most to the two of us. And and thankfully, we were so fortunate the two of us um really are strong in faith. Yeah, we rely on that as um our way of getting through this. Yeah, and it's getting through anything.

Jason 7:14

And it takes constant work, like anything else, you know.

Melanie 7:19

And so that's that is why everything serves that.

Jason 7:22

Yeah, I agree.

Melanie 7:24

W that is protected first. That is where the the rest of the board is in perspective over the king. Right. Um so what we do with that when we make big decisions, prayer is first.

Jason 7:40

Yeah, I mean, you you really need to kind of take it back in and go, Yep, I may know this piece, I may know this piece, but when you bring it to prayer, sometimes, you know, that's where you get your answer. And it's, you know, it's and I can think of many different times of that. Um and also with any business, the finances of it. I mean, you're in business, yes, to make money, but also that money is to, you know, be there for your family. So I don't think anyone's in business and just sit, you know, says, well, you know, money doesn't matter. Well, yes, it does. But oftentimes, you know, we have to trust God when that the money gets tight, you know. And I remember many, many times, I mean several examples. He does it because it's funny, I think. We probably brought this up on another podcast where it was like we needed a certain amount to, you know, it's like, okay, shoot, we got this we need to pay for. Every time. And then a c well, it well, I'm I'm thinking of one in particular.

Melanie 8:50

It's to a T. Sometimes it's almost to a T, but it's always like that amount and that's what's uncanny. To go through the week, to go through the month, to go through and you know.

Jason 9:02

People call it a God wink. I call it part of the puzzle pieces because God always gives you a puzzle piece, which is cool. You got another one, part of the puzzle that you're building, but doesn't make sense until later. So you just accept it and say thank you and move on. But how often is does it fit? Yeah. And you go, well, I've been looking for oh, huh. And it's just, you know, it's incredible, really.

Melanie 9:28

Um God always seems to remind us he's part of this.

Jason 9:32

Right. But but when God is in control, you shouldn't fear. You know.

Melanie 9:39

Shouldn't but do.

Jason 9:40

Well, you do. No, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying like, you know, it's we're not infallible. No.

Melanie 9:47

But um, I mean, it's but the fear will that you know, letting the fear drive the choices of the business I get that.

Jason 9:56

Right, exactly. Yeah.

Melanie 9:57

And so sometimes we have to, okay, we're gonna be okay. Because we know we are.

Jason 10:04

Yeah.

Melanie 10:05

And again, he always comes through month by month, week by me, week, whatever it is. Um, you know, there there's something that we do here. Um, not sure everybody that comes in notices, um, because it doesn't matter if they do. Um, we play the radio.

Jason 10:26

Well, it's har it's hard to work in silence.

Melanie 10:28

We do sometimes we need uh little white noise and random noise, outside noise, whatever. So we have a very old radio because you know that's who we are.

Jason 10:39

Yeah, right. Um, it is not one of those we appreciate all technology of all generations.

Melanie 10:44

No, this is a regular antenna radio.

Jason 10:47

And when it rains, I need to put a steel pole up against the window to get to get the channel again. And then the pole will just fall randomly and go wham and scare me to death. Right. But anyway, I yeah.

Melanie 11:00

But so we play the radio, it is a Raleigh station that's um the journey. We do that for us. It the the customer comes in again. I don't think anybody mentioned it or noticed, but we do that because it is um when you your brain is kind of trying to go through some things, it's a wave light, and then every once in a while pinpoints that that white noise.

Jason 11:28

Yeah.

Melanie 11:29

It's inspirational. Right. And that kind of pulls you back into the grounding point of what where you need to be. So that is actually extremely intentional for us. Right, it is for um that we're listening to something that just grounds us back to where we need to think about it.

Jason 11:46

And it's not something we it's kind of like an option out there for the right song to be played at the right time. So again, you're kind of offering that as a here's another way to communicate with us. Right. And um yes, we can listen to any music we wanted to. And we I mean, don't get me wrong, we love all music.

Melanie 12:06

Oh god, I mean we're supposed to rockers. Right. We don't mind the no, we'll we I mean, but you know, it's some lots of different genres, uh, but it for the most part, you know, it when working, yeah, it's almost like, okay, I just need that calm, just need a nice stable, yes, nice, yeah.

Jason 12:25

I get and and of course, some stations, of course, if you're playing rock and stuff like that. The commercials oh, they are really annoying.

Melanie 12:32

The journey commercials are actually very calm.

Jason 12:34

Yeah, they're calm, just someone talking and all that, and but I mean, working on a project, something like that, and all of a sudden this stupid annoying commercial comes on, and it's like, do we all right? We need to turn it because we're trying to write something, and it uh it's hard to write when you're being distracted. So we finally were like, you know what? And we put it on the journey, and then we're kind of like, okay, this works, you know.

Melanie 12:56

Yeah, it's very even tempered.

Jason 12:58

Exactly. So yeah. Yeah, but so yeah, so the first anchor, of course, like you said, talking about, I guess, relying on our faith. Uh, what what do we got for the second one?

Melanie 13:15

So the second anchor is again boundaries. Um this is how you maintain those relationships with clients. Boundaries are just as important to the client as it is to the um business owner because a client doesn't want to bother you.

Jason 13:34

Oh gosh, they apologize all the time.

Melanie 13:36

That's like we have such a sweet, yeah, we do wonderful community, and they don't want to bother us. Right. And so that's where those boundaries are set to also make sure that you're not.

Jason 13:50

Yeah.

Melanie 13:50

Because what we're gonna do is we're gonna, you know, set it up for this day.

Jason 13:56

Exactly.

Melanie 13:56

And so you you're good, you called at the right time. Yeah, you know, don't worry about that because we're not gonna just jump every time you say how hi. We're gonna go ahead and set you up for a um a time we can really together.

Jason 14:13

We can get together and make it work.

Melanie 14:15

Um, whether it's a project, whether it's a um mostly computer repair. Computer repair has had to be okay, this is the day we can do, and this is the time period we have. Yeah. And so it does kind of grow. Um, so Thursdays is the day that we do it, but there are certain days um where okay, maybe in this morning we'll do a little bit of computer repair to make sure that these people get it done before a Thursday, you know.

Jason 14:45

I remember you bringing that up because it it got to the point, and you're right, it as far as boundaries and everything, it's like if someone contact me, I feel like, well, I need to address this right now. Which if you do that, one, you're gonna burn out because you're constantly, you know, feeling the obligation of switching hats to do that.

Melanie 15:03

But um It hurts the client. It does because the client feels awful if they've taken something away from and they wouldn't want to do that. So that's why it's to be very clear, and they are so appreciative. Absolutely.

Jason 15:18

Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Melanie 15:19

That makes perfect sense if you do it on Thursdays and I will be there on Thursday. I'm interrupting you, and that makes them feel better because I can work around your schedule because I already felt bad calling.

Jason 15:31

Exactly, right?

Melanie 15:32

And I don't want anybody to feel bad calling.

Jason 15:34

I mean, how many people call and go, I know you're busy. I know you're busy, exactly. And I know this is so sweet. That's just so sweet, but it's it's just a computer. It's not really a schedule it because okay, you're important.

Melanie 15:47

It's and I want to make sure that you get your time and yes, I'm busy, but I can put you in queue. And that that they appreciate that so much.

Jason 15:57

Yeah, I mean, and and because we were able to evolve that into mainly Thursdays, and like you said, sometimes we trickle people in on certain mornings, you know, before you know the project work gets started, um, that is taking pressure off, and there are times that someone may have an issue, and you know, there are things that are urgent. Yes. And you know, it's like, look, a lot of things. My bank account has. That's okay.

Melanie 16:27

And I don't want to invent anybody to feel uncomfortable calling when something is urgent. Please, please call when it's urgent.

Jason 16:33

You know, if you've you've been hacked, you got something on your computer, you something popped up, you called the number, you you know, felt you know and then you know it things got carried away, and now you're like, oh my gosh, what do I do now? My bank account's frozen, or um something happened with my bank account because I got access. And you know, we we try to respond to that. I mean, there are times on a weekend that you know, I mean, like, I know, and it's Friday at two o'clock. It's like, look, I'll get your computer, let me address this, and you know, it you you do what you gotta do, and you know, but that that's part of because we've made boundaries, we're able to be flexible in other ways too.

Melanie 17:16

Right, you know, and so uh well we didn't actually talk about the chess part, but it's knowing when to move and knowing when not to move.

Jason 17:24

Yeah, that that does yeah, fall into the metaphor, I guess.

Melanie 17:27

That there are again emergency situations, and then there are also just um okay, yeah, this is our office hours of computer repair, and this is what we're gonna be able to do for that.

Jason 17:39

Right.

Melanie 17:40

I mean and again, it's just as um it gives confidence to the client as well as the the business owner to set that boundary. Yeah, and then boundaries are extended. The the boundary we we're involved in um a lot of civic organizations, yeah. And so those boundaries need to be set. Yeah. Um, even the family has this, you know, okay. I mean, yeah, I am, you know, the the children, I'm going to get to you, but I'm gonna finish my conversation to to then go ahead and get to you. So, you know, making sure that those boundaries get set too, you know.

Jason 18:28

You're important, but I need to do this first, and then I'll get, you know, you'll have you'll have your time.

Melanie 18:34

Sick the other day and she was home. Yeah. Not the other day, but it was some time ago.

Jason 18:38

But if you're to y'all it was the other day.

Melanie 18:40

I mean, it was it's been a very long time.

Jason 18:42

Um it was between podcasts.

Melanie 18:44

Between podcasts. And, you know, it's like, okay, you're going to do work with me. So you're just gonna hang around with me while I finish work.

Jason 18:55

Um and I think she appreciated, but also it it's fun.

Melanie 18:59

Like seeing what she she enjoyed it. Um at the same time, she also she got it. Okay, I need to finish what I'm doing to then get back to you.

Jason 19:09

Right, right.

Melanie 19:10

This isn't, you know, yeah just about you, but because of that, you get to kind of ride along with me. So she actually really enjoyed that.

Jason 19:19

Right? Good. Um, I mean, it's and I guess that's all we have on that one, right? When we get into anchor three.

Melanie 19:35

Okay.

Jason 19:37

Well, this is anchor three. This is and and this is very important, I think. This anchor oftentimes how do I want to put this? We're um sacrificial oftentimes, individually in a marriage, and you know, just with everything else going on, where it's like, well, all right, well, we gotta do this. We can get to that later. And I think we minimize a relationship when really that is also um a source of strength and identity.

Melanie 20:14

Right. And technically without the relationship, there is no internet web and there is no together. So that is is the the a big piece. Yeah. It's not the main piece, because as we can.

Jason 20:29

Yeah, as we know the king. Yeah. The king.

Melanie 20:30

Yep. There is no game without the king.

Jason 20:33

No.

Melanie 20:34

But the game's hard to play without the queen.

Jason 20:37

Yeah.

Melanie 20:38

Because the queen is able to do all parts.

Jason 20:41

Exactly.

Melanie 20:43

The queen is also the hard piece. Yeah. And so the queen is uh, as we've considered it, the the relationship or the downtime equals date time.

Jason 20:54

Yeah.

Melanie 20:55

Is the the way that we need to anchor ourselves into the um the business.

Jason 21:03

Yeah.

Melanie 21:04

And it's because we are mom and pop, we are the relationship first at some point. And so that relationship's very important. Um, again, it doesn't exist without the two of us being together. So there are times where you have to kind of, though we sacrifice constantly away from each other.

Jason 21:27

Yeah.

Melanie 21:27

We need to sacrifice and make it happen with each other. And so um we that's why we called it downtime equals date time. So there are times where okay, we did this, this, this, and this. Right. Our our list, of course, we always have a list.

Jason 21:46

Yeah, exactly. I I'm not sure. We have thousands, but we I feel like I'm about to say what you want to say about it.

Melanie 21:50

Kind of when the list is at a at bay.

Jason 21:53

Yeah, exactly. 'Cause there's always something to do, don't get me wrong.

Melanie 21:56

Right. All right. We'll look at each other and go, okay.

Jason 22:00

You know what?

Melanie 22:00

This needs to be an us moment.

Jason 22:02

We can let's step away. I mean, sometimes, you know, we step away and we uh I mean oftentimes, I guess, but w uh we step away and we we obviously talk about us, relationship and everything. Sometimes we do it in a way that is um you spilt your water on the table. Um that ends up being you know, productive. So we're like, okay, we need a creative moment, let's step away.

Melanie 22:34

Yeah, I mean We try to go on a date, and of course, it sometimes it's a lunch date. Sometimes it's just a the tires are getting rotated and we you know have a minute together.

Jason 22:45

Yeah, it's like okay.

Melanie 22:46

Can we oh let's go get lunch, right? And so we'll we'll go and we'll just be the two of us, and almost always there's like this gem takeaway. Yeah, or or if we're able to be together in that moment and go the aha moment and we haven't been able to reaching it, we're still like in work mode because again, we're we're in the work day.

Jason 23:09

Yeah, sure.

Melanie 23:10

And we're still in work mode, and then it's like, wait a minute, that's how we need to structure this. And so it's very important to kind of rewire and re-establish that every once in a while. Well, even if you're just getting your tires rotated.

Jason 23:25

Well, I mean, you know, I I'll I'll make this comparison, and I think anyone would understand. The relationship, the human relationship between a couple, isn't too far off comparatively, with one's relationship with God. In the sense, and I remember you telling me one time I was stressed out, I was trying to do something, and I called you, and you said, take that 15 minutes, pray, step away, then go back. And I've done that a lot.

Melanie 24:04

Um 15 minutes saves you hours.

Jason 24:08

15 minutes saves you hours, yep. So in a relationship, and again, like I said, we're sacrificial, we always go, well, you know, they'll understand. But sometimes it's not about them, sometimes it's about you too in the relationship. And being able to, you know, realize that you know what? This time is important for our own oxygen mask to then be able to then together work through everything else. Um, it is worth a time. You know, just like business is always gonna be business. You're always gonna have stuff to do on your list. But to be able to step away and say, you know what? All right, like you said, things right back. Let's step away.

Melanie 24:59

And you know lunch, we'll go to the laundry.

Jason 25:01

Right, yeah.

Melanie 25:02

Some people cycle just go home and full laundry. I mean, we've yes, we have literally done that.

Jason 25:08

We have, I know we have. But um recently we just took a walk because the sun finally popped out.

Melanie 25:13

Oh my god, that was the nicest walk.

Jason 25:15

I can't remember what uh-huh moment came of that, but there was something in that. So I know the psyche sometimes is well, just just this one more email. Yes, just one more step, just one more. You want to be productive, you want to push forward. Again, and a big part of this we're doing is for our family. So you feel like that is the right path. But sometimes actually stepping back, focusing on these other areas will uh allow you to tackle that that much more. So more clarity. With more clarity. So very true. When you look at it that way, it's you know, to you know, the whole thing like three step, you know, three steps forward, one step back. This is like one step back for five steps forward.

Melanie 26:08

Right.

Jason 26:08

So it's kind of the reverse of that. So if you realize, you know what, let me think of it as this is, you know, if you have productivity as a you know in your mind and your focus, sacrifice that knowing that actually you may gain, you know, and also without your relationship, does it what really matters then, you know? So yeah.

Melanie 26:40

Yeah, we certainly I love this part, and and um I am gonna put a a little shout out.

Jason 26:47

Okay.

Melanie 26:48

Um, maybe a big shout out. Let's go with big.

Jason 26:52

Sure.

Melanie 26:53

Big shout-out to um when we need some downtime versus date time. We don't do it often. I'm doing a shout-out to to Randolph and K Hight. I know they listen, they listen every time. And they are my parents. Um, they are also some the biggest supporters when it comes to we need a minute.

Jason 27:19

They've been through their journey too.

Melanie 27:21

They've been through this journey, they are um entrepreneurs, both of them different. Different, yes. Um, and and both of them have been entrepreneurs, both of them have fought through this whole thing. Yeah, and so they are very quick to jump in and say, Can I help?

Jason 27:40

Yeah.

Melanie 27:41

Or absolutely, I will do that. You know, um, they picked up the kids yesterday when we needed them to, and they have um, you know, I mean, go to the grocery store and say, Hey, can I grab you something? Stuff like that. So they they're just sure, definitely.

Jason 27:57

Always, yeah.

Melanie 27:58

Always there to have a I know you need some time together. Right. Can we help?

Jason 28:05

Yeah.

Melanie 28:06

And so big shout out to family that gets it, family that understands. Thank you both. Thank you, Randolph and Kay. We love you.

Jason 28:17

Definitely. I mean, I mean, we we we juggle so many things, and of course, I mean, it and like you're talking about them stepping in, but I mean the business is one component of this, and also, you know, raising a family, yeah, you sometimes need time too. But um, we certainly, as you mentioned earlier, are involved in so many different things too. So there are civic organizations.

Melanie 28:48

Yes, well, you have to kind of be a part of the community, you have to play your role, right?

Jason 28:52

Yeah, definitely.

Melanie 28:53

I mean it dies if nobody gets that nobody does the work, right? Right, so uh the community is so important, and so we are very involved with our church, we're very involved with many parts of our community, and so we have to kind of be a part of those things too.

Jason 29:14

Because that's that's very important if you don't get back, beckons time exactly, and the balance of all of that, yeah. Um and it's kind of like getting back to the chess analogy, it's almost like you're you're playing more than one person then, you know.

Melanie 29:34

Right. And so, and your trustee, your chair, your right, exactly.

Jason 29:42

So it's kind of puts it in the context of uh again why it's so important to um make that time, either in a faith-based type thing, you know, w just stepping back with that, um, your relationship, and you know, making those boundaries that are vitally important to allow you to realize maybe where your focus should be or where you should prioritize your time.

Melanie 30:13

Right. Having those people to tag in with, um, you know, be it church, be it the school, be it, you know, um you know, community organizations, um, those people to tag in and and say, hey, can you take this while I take that? Right, you know.

Jason 30:32

And and I think sometimes we are nervous to ask for someone's help because again, we don't want to put something on them. But how often have you been reached out by somebody? Hey, can you help me with this? You go, well, absolutely. Right, I would love to. Then all of a sudden you feel like you're the hero. You feel like you're, and of course, you know, we're not necessarily doing it off of ego, but we are humans, and then we feel like, you know what? I did that. I did something today. I helped this person. So if that's true, then why are we sometimes so nervous in um reaching out, you know, and I know we don't want to admit it, but you know, so sometimes when we're in that multiverse, we have to ask for help. Multiverse, ooh, you know, yes, all these things at once. I mean, I know the word, I don't so I thought it was cool. But yeah. So I mean, like, where do we go from this?

Melanie 31:28

Like, we well, we kind of uh did come up with some takeaways that um slightly more tangible.

Jason 31:39

Well, I mean, it's always good.

Melanie 31:41

You know, if if anybody else listening is a small business, mom and pop, things like that, you know, trying to get through the grind um while raising a family.

Jason 31:53

Sure.

Melanie 31:53

You know, um, we we kind of came up with a couple of um takeaways.

Jason 31:58

Right.

Melanie 32:00

Pray together once a week. If not more. Right obviously, more is helpful.

Jason 32:05

Yeah.

Melanie 32:07

But there is something to be said about putting that uh putting God first, yeah, and actually the two of you putting that prayer in the world.

Jason 32:17

It's important to get each other, yes. To get both people in your relationship to acknowledge that, and you know we are not kind of humbly realize yes.

Melanie 32:28

We are we are humble before that, so yeah, that makes sense. So praying once a week, again, if not more.

Jason 32:35

Let me say one thing about that. I know often in our relationship, not only our relationship, but our faith relationship, there are times when in prayer that one of us will get the answer. Because we both know the situation we're praying about, one of us will get the answer to then tell the other and be like you know what I'm getting at? So it and and we kind of relinquish control at that point in time and say, okay, well, if you were told that, I'm with you, then so be it. Right. Which is why it's important to pray and you know, together, you know, and it's um I don't know. I I don't know how it works. I'm just I know how it does work though, if that makes any sense. But yeah.

Melanie 33:22

It gives at least two people to talk to first, right? So two listeners, hopefully.

Jason 33:27

And we interpret things in different ways, and we're able to, you know, and sometimes the message is for one to then talk to the other. Yes. So it's very true. Yeah, anyway. You can go on to the next one.

Melanie 33:40

Uh next kind of uh doable actions, one boundary. So, okay, I'm overwhelmed. Let me set one thing at least that I can say I need to do it later, not now, but I'm scheduling it.

Jason 33:57

Right, it makes sense.

Melanie 33:58

Um that's the best way to help with the overwhelming everybody needs all at the same time. The inundation is, you know, okay, I get your needs, yeah. And I'm gonna schedule your needs, even if it's, you know, sounds ridiculous, you know, scheduling the needs of of something that um, you know, like a hair appointment, you know, it I just go ahead and need to have that scheduled so that it is um set in stone and I can do that.

Jason 34:33

Yeah.

Melanie 34:33

Um, so setting one boundary and saying, no, this time to this time is the only time we're gonna take this call type of call or whatever. Yeah.

Jason 34:43

That that's very helpful to make sure that to kind of categorize it and make sure everything flows well. Right. Yeah, that makes sense.

Melanie 34:51

That I still need time here and then here.

Jason 34:55

Right, right.

Melanie 34:57

And um the last one is plan one intentional moment. So one moment of the two people. Right. One moment of the relationship.

Jason 35:12

We're gonna do this or we're gonna allow for this. Yeah. That makes sense.

Melanie 35:17

So setting that plan also says I've got something to look forward to. Even if it's just again. One of you needs to go to town, why don't you both go to town? Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I don't care if it's Burger King, both of you go. Right. Just so it's a moment between the two of you away.

Jason 35:38

Just mean have it your way. I mean, but no, no, but I think you're right in that too, because it should be that intentional. Well, if it's not on the schedule, it that block will be scheduled.

Melanie 35:51

Yes, it's scheduled for you, whether you want it.

Jason 35:54

So if you say, you know, just hypothetically, okay, next Wednesday at 2 o'clock, we're gonna go to this place and, you know, have an hour and a half time. If you put it there, come Monday when you're not even, you know, forgot about that.

Melanie 36:13

Then both of us are going to Walmart and both of us are gonna go pick up that prescription so that we can be intentionally together for one moment.

Jason 36:21

Yep. That's true. I mean, yeah.

Melanie 36:22

Make it that intentional.

Jason 36:24

And even though that might seem silly, what's going to happen from there?

Melanie 36:28

We've done that. Because you're together.

Jason 36:30

We have. But sometimes together, then you run into somebody, you have a conversation, and then there's another opportunity to get together, and you know, it's yeah, but when when you're trying to take care of everything individually, like this person over here, this person over here, you're not together, and um it can it can be very isolating. Um, and then you're not connecting. Um and I mean I'm I'm saying it's not because there's any, you know, thing I'm reading from that's like uh here's advice on it. This is how I mean this is at least how our life has been.

Melanie 37:10

Right. We disconnect constantly.

Jason 37:12

We've made yeah, what I mean it's a good one.

Melanie 37:14

Which is why the wire together makes so much sense because we have to reconnect so often.

Jason 37:20

And I mean, there are times that we plan on doing a podcast, and it's like, you know what, we can't, you know, because we're not connected. So, I mean, you know exactly what I'm saying.

Melanie 37:29

I'm very sensitive to that, and then when we don't connect, it's very difficult to do a podcast.

Jason 37:35

You can't fake it. You got to, you know, but you know, what we know other couples out there that can I I would imagine completely understand what we're talking about when you're in the grind and all.

Melanie 37:45

And it's just kind of like, you know, it's how actually let us know as far as other couples that are running businesses together. Let us know your tips of the trade. Let us know what you think.

Jason 37:57

Yeah, I mean, because you need to get your energy.

Melanie 38:00

Yes.

Jason 38:01

And as when you're connected, you're able to get that energy and work together. When that energy gets drained through either, you know, the boundaries you have in place are being broken by the, you know, everybody the grind of the business and people's knees. Or, you know, the um maybe you haven't stepped back enough to really pray about whatever's going on. Or you sit back and go, when is the last time we actually had a date? All of these things happened to us, you know, probably almost every month. But, you know, it's just still, I mean, we're humans. But don't feel locked in that and go, well, this is just how things are. Go, I have strategies, and maybe there are things we can actually do. Because I mean, you you can hate someone to love them at the same time. Yeah, you you hate the situation. You love them, but you're not sure where to go from there. So anytime you can work together, then and get out of that, then all of a sudden the dark clouds part, the light comes down, and you're like, there you are. We got this. So all right.

Melanie 39:26

Um That's all I had.

Jason 39:33

That's all you got?

Melanie 39:34

Yeah.

Jason 39:35

Um I mean, I mean, three is doable. That's that's nice. That's a nice little chunk of thing to, you know, take to your week. So I think we're gonna wrap this one up here. And uh we again thank you for you know always your support and your patience. Um and you know, uh case in point, we've had to reprioritize certain things. I mean, we're we're taking our own medicine here, and that's why we're able to talk with you today. We've had some side hustles that we've had to kind of regroup on.

Melanie 40:12

But side hustles were a bad idea.

Jason 40:14

Yeah, it's um it yeah, well, that can be a whole nother episode, but um, we're just glad we're able to be with you again. And please, you know, be sure to follow or review our podcast on your favorite platform. And again, if this resonates with you, again, if you're a a small business uh like couple or you know, small business, whatever, you know, re reach out. And um, you know, you can you can leave comments, you can um reach out to us and everything.

Melanie 40:45

Share your tips.

Jason 40:46

Yeah, share, share your tips. I mean, um it's we'd love to hear it. Yeah, we would.

Melanie 40:51

And you know anything that adds to the toolbox gets to be able to do that.

Jason 40:55

I mean, I'm sure I'm sure something here today, you're like, oh dude, this you know, so just go ahead and share it. But with all that said, unplugging for now.

Melanie 41:07

But always stay connected.