Episode 52 Tools for Panic and Overloads

Today’s episode is for anyone who knows what it feels like when your body hits that moment of panic or overload—when your heart is racing, your thoughts are loud, and everything inside you is saying, “I need out.”

Artis is Samuel Woods.

https://open.spotify.com/track/0xX5HgkUmFUTh0gCQKex2E?si=e6952bd30cca4663

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Hi everyone, welcome to another episode of Healing Connection. Today, we're going to talk about grounding tools for panic and overloads. I am your host, Joey McBride, and if today's episode, who knows what it feels like when your body hits that moment of panic or overload, when your heart is racing, your thoughts are loud, and everything inside you is saying, I need out, then this one would be for you. This one's for veterans, first responders, caregivers, spouses, and yes, even the kids. Anyone who has ever felt like their system went from zero to one hundred, understand. If you ever want to reach out to me and talk to me about this, my email is cooljoe77 at heroobjective. And I also want you to know if you are in crisis or you feel unsafe or thinking about harming yourself, please call or text 988 anytime. It's free, it's confidential, it's open 24-7, and veterans just press one, everybody else hang on the line. I don't want you to have to carry that alone. I think that is something that can be beneficial and helpful for those who need it. You may be stuck and don't know which way to go, and you can't find the right podcast to listen to. That's okay. Call these people. It is people, not a computer. That's something I want to make sure that you know. You're not going to get put on a five-minute wait time. You're going to get a real person right then when you call. All right. Today I'm going to give you grounding tools you can use in the moments that help you come back to the room. Come back to your body, and come back steady. And I want to say this up front. You do not have to do these perfect perfectly. You just have to do them a little at a time. What panic and overload really are and what they are not. Let's take shame out of it. Panic and overload are not character flaws. They are not weakness. They are not being too much. Most of the time, panic is your nervous system pulling the fire alarm. Overload is your nervous system saying, too many inputs, too much pressure, too much stress. I cannot process this all at once. For veterans and first responders, your body learned to stay ready. For caregivers and spouses, your body learned to stay alert in the home. For kids, their body learns from the environment even if nobody talks about it. So when you're feeling that surge, a racing heart, tight chest, tunnel vision, shaky hands, irritable, tears, or numbness, just know your body isn't broken. Your body is trying to protect you. Now we're going to teach it something new. We can come down, we can return, and we can stay steady. The goal is not claim, but connected. A lot of people hear grounding tools and they think that the goal is to be calm. Sometimes calm is too big of a jump. So here's a better goal. Not calm, but connected. Connected means I know where I am, I can feel my body, I can slow down one knot, I can take the next step. If you can get connected, calm often follows. So here's the first tool: the long exhausted reset. Let's start with the simplest tool. Because simple is what works in the moment. Unless you're driving, you cannot do this, and I will tell you, but you can do it at home and you can re-listen to it there. But for those of you who are not driving, put your feet on the floor, breathe in through your nose, or a slow count of four, hold it for two, now breathe out for six. Let's do this again. In for four, hold for two, and out for six. Now add this. Unclench your jaw. Drop your shoulders, relax your hands. If you only remember one tool from this episode, remember this. Exhale longer than you inhale. Tool number two. Oriating. I'm here, not there. Slowly look around the room. Name three neutral things that you see. Examples are a door, a lamp, a chair. Now tell now find two things that tell you that you're safe right now. And quietly say, I'm here. It's right now. Here's a story of a parking lot reset. I've met people, veterans, and first responders, who sit in the parking lot long before they walk into the store or even into their own home. Hands are on the steering wheel, feet are flat, long exhale. Now look around and name what's real. Cars, sky, trees, I am safe enough. Then go in. That right there is a huge win for tool number three. And I think we've talked about this a couple of times in other podcasts. The five, four, three, two, one. Tool. Here they are. Name five things you can see. Name four things you can feel. Name three things you can hear. Two things that you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This tool tells the brain we are in the present. We are not in danger right now. In the wild, example number one, crowded restaurants, public overlook. Let's put this into real life. You walk into a restaurant, it's loud, chairs are scraping, lots of voices, the TVs are on, people moving behind you. Maybe you've already tried or you're already tired. And you feel it. Your shoulders rise, your breath shortens, your eyes start scanning, your patient drops, and your body says, Nope, here's what grounding looks like right there. Without making a big scene. Take a long exhale. In through the nose and out. Do this twice. Orient. In your head, exit table, window. Just name three things that you can see. Step three. Choose a spot on purpose. If you can, sit facing the room instead of with your back exposed. That's not being difficult. That's being smart about your nervous system. I know some of you are probably thinking, this is not the easiest thing to do. And I know I try it both ways each time. I try and sit somewhere where my back is against the wall. Or I'll sit somewhere where my back is facing the crowd and see how I do. If not, I always make sure that there's a table or a chair that faces where I can see everything. That is a hard thing to do, but it's something that's worth it in the end because now you're retraining your body and your mind to think I'm okay right now. I hear these people behind me, but they are not causing a huge scene. I can sit and relax and enjoy a dinner. Maybe it's with your spouse or maybe it's with your family. And it's something that you can do that you don't have to make a scene about. It's very hard, I know, but it can be very easy and uplifting as well. Step four give yourself a quiet line. This is just a restaurant. My body is on alert, but I am safe right now. And if it still doesn't drop, here's another truth. Sometimes the wind is leaving before you blow up. You can say, I need a quick breathe breather, I'll be right back. Step outside, cold water on your wrist if you can. Two long exhale. That is emotional strength. That is control. You can always go back and try again. If it doesn't work, go back and do it again. Do it until you feel comfortable, but let your spouse or your family know: hey, I just need a few minutes by myself. This is what I would like to drink, and I will come back and order when I can. Tool number four, keep temperature and touch. Try one. Cool water on the wrist. Hold something cold. Brush your feet to the floor. Hold something texture. As you do it, say to yourself, I am lowering the alarm. Something simple that you can do without nobody knowing. And it's okay. I promise. Tool number five. Name it to tame it. Quietly say to yourself, this is anxiety. This is adrenaline. This is overload. Then add to it, it will pass. And it does. It may take a few minutes, but it will work. It's a slow progress, I know, but every step is worth every minute. Every progress that you make is a progress that you can do the next go-around. It's the next progress you can give and to pass on to somebody else that you know. It could be another veteran, it could be a first responder, it could be a spouse, it could be your kids. If it works, use it. If it continues to work, show it to others. Teach them. Because that's what I'm trying to do here is I'm trying to help teach you things that are real. Things that I've tried, things that I have tried and they failed, things I've tried and they haven't. But I will pass each one along to each other each one of you. And I would like for you to do that as well. Once you feel comfortable. Tool number six the 90-second wave. For 90 seconds, your only job is long exhale, feet on the floor, look around. Don't chase the scary story. Say to yourself, this is a wave, and I can write it. There's another example. This is fireworks, loud noises at night, and sudden trigger. Now let's talk about one thing that hits a lot of families. And of course, it's coming up. It is fireworks. It is sudden booms, loud nighttime noises. You may think that you're fine, and then suddenly, boom! Your body reacts before your brain can catch up. Or your spouse is watching one person tense up, go quiet, get irritable, or leave the room. Or one of your kids don't understand why everyone suddenly feels different. Here's a family-friendly way to handle it. Before the noise, if you can plan lower lights, have headphones on, choose a quiet space. Put a cold drink or an ice pack in the freezer. It's a pick a simple signal, phrase like yellow light or overload. During these noises, long exhale, feet on the floor, orient yourself to the room. A couch, a wall, a blanket. Temperature tool, cold water, cold bottle, ice pack on the wrist. And say that sound is now I am here and I am safe enough. For spouses and caregivers, here's a helpful question. Do you want space or presence? Not not 20 questions, just that for kids. This is loud, but we are safe. You're not in trouble. Let's breathe together. Afterwards, this matters. Repair and reconnect. Because the noise might stop, but the nervous system may still stay elevated. A simple reconnect can be I'm okay. I am here. That was a rough moment, but we are all right. The four-step plan. Something easy to remember. Here's your simple plan. Breathe. Long exhale. Orient. Name three things you can see. Number three, body. Cold water or feet of pressure. Number four, words. This is a wave and it will pass. These are simple wins that you can do for yourself. It's gonna happen. We all know it's coming up. But I would suggest getting noise canceling headphones. I know they may be a bit expensive, but the money is worthwhile. It's going to help you in the long run. It's gonna help you survive what you can during this 4th of July weekend. For caregivers and spouses, how to support without escalating. Here's some do's lower your voice, slow your words, reduce stimulation, offer simple choices, space, power, or presence. Remind safely that you are here, you're safe right now. Don't say calm down. Argue logistics, shame them, corner them, and caregivers, you too can ground yourself. You matter in this process because if you are not grounded, how can you ground somebody else? For kids, grounding that feels safe. Here's some kid friendly tools. Smell the flower, blow out the candle. Five, four, three, two, one. A calming kit. Headphones, drawings, fidget, stuffed animal, a safe corner, blanket and a soft light. Sentences that help kids. Being diff being big feelings are happening, but you are safe. This isn't your fault. So with a positive ending and a strong closing, I want everybody to end on a strong and hopeful note. If you've been living with panic, overload, and that always on duty feeling, hear me. You are not broken, you're not alone, you're not stuck in this forever. Every time you use a grounding tool, even for 10 seconds, you're teaching your nervous system a new path. That healing is strength. That is progress. Now, if you want to reach out to me about anything or you want to talk, any of it is perfectly fine. You can reach out to me at cooljoe77 heroobjective.org. And again, if you made it this far, but you're still struggling, or you're calm, but maybe in 15-20 minutes you're not. That's okay. I want you to text or call immediately 988. I promise you it's very confidential. They are always there. There's always a human 24-7. Veterans, all you have to do is press one. Everybody else, hang on the line, and I promise you, somebody will be with you very quickly. I want you to remember that I will always have your six. And until next time, be safe, be strong, keep moving, and you will make it through the 4th of July. I know it may be hard, I know it may be tough, but you know what? You have made it this far in life to give up. Don't give up. Keep trying. If you have to, go back and listen to other podcasts that I have. Maybe something in there will help you. I don't know. But it's always worth a shot. It's always worth finding out answers and solutions before you give up. Do not give up. Do not give up for yourself. Do not give up for your spouse. Do not give up for your kids. Do not give up for others around you. You are worth every penny, and you are worth every minute. That's something that I want you to know. So until next time, I am signing off. This is Joy and hang in there and don't give up. Bye guys.