Everybody Wants to Be Extraordinary--Until It Means Being Different

Episode 21 of the Young Leaders of Tomorrow is about admiring the people who stand out, but not wanting to stand out yourself.

The Young Leaders of Tomorrow features the amazing tales of young entrepreneurs, innovators, and activists who are defying expectations and making a name for themselves. Hosted by Julia Zucchi and Theo Nguyen, this podcast interviews outstanding young people who are changing the game, taking risks, and breaking boundaries. Each episode, we highlight their achievements, the challenges they've faced, and the unconventional paths they've followed to reach their destinations. We'll also share some of our own experiences and insights on crushing school, staying motivated, and changing what you believe is possible. We make tomorrow’s leaders, today’s stories. A new episode comes every 2 weeks.

Our Website: https://www.the-young-leaders-of-tomorrow.com/

Transcript

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Hey everybody, I'm Julie Zuki and welcome back to the Young Leaders of Tomorrow. I wanted to come on today to talk about something I've been noticing everywhere lately, in schools, online, even in myself sometimes. Why does everybody want an extraordinary life, but nobody wants to look different? Because if you really think about it, those two things don't go together at all. You cannot expect to live an uncommon life while constantly trying to make sure nobody sees you as uncommon. And I think that's one of the biggest contradictions of our generation. We grow up admiring people who stand out. We admire founders, creators, athletes, activists, innovators, artists, people with huge ideas and huge ambition. We watch interviews with successful people and think I want to be like that someday. Schools tell us to be leaders, social media glorifies success. Colleges want students who are unique. Everybody says that they value originality. But in actual day-to-day life, most environments reward sameness. There's this invisible pressure to stay inside the line socially, to not care too much, to not raise your hand too often, to not sound overly ambitious because then people will call you intense. To not post the video, launch the project, ask the question, or say the big goal out loud, because what if people think it's cringe? And honestly, I think the fear of embarrassment controls way more lives than failure ever will. Because most people are not truly afraid of failing. They're afraid of looking foolish in the process of trying. Think about how people often downplay themselves. Someone gets a really good grade and immediately says, Oh, I barely study. Someone works incredibly hard at a sport but it pretends they don't even care that much. Someone has a huge dream but says it jokingly, so if people laugh, they can pretend they weren't serious. Even ambition has become something people feel like they need to hide. And I understand why. Especially in middle school and high school, fitting in feels like survival. When you're young, social acceptance feels massive. I know this myself. People remember comments, they remember looks, they remember the time they answered a question wrong in class three years ago and somehow still think about it at 2 a.m. There is this constant awareness of how you're being perceived. And social media makes it even more intense because now it feels like everybody is always watching. You're not just embarrassed in front of 10 people anymore, you feel exposed to everyone. So people start carefully curating themselves. They become experts at looking effortlessly successful instead of honestly passionate. But the more I think about it, the more I realize almost every person we admire probably went through a stage where they looked weird before they looked impressive. The kid obsessed with coding, the athlete training while everyone else hung out. The student constantly asking questions, the teenager starting a nonprofit nobody understands yet, or the person making videos with barely any views. But that's the thing about doing something uncommon. In the beginning, there's usually no proof it's going to work. People only admire the vision after the results show up. And I think that's why courage matters so much more than confidence. Because confidence is easy once everyone validates you. Confidence is easy after the awards, the followers, the acceptance letters, the achievements, the accomplishments, all of the above. But courage is when none of that exists yet and you still decide to continue anyway. That's what people don't talk about enough. The period where you are trying to become someone more ambitious, more disciplined, more creative, more driven while still surrounded by people who only knew the old version of you. I think that's one of the loneliest parts of growth sometimes, because humans naturally resist change. When you start acting differently, people notice. Sometimes they even subconsciously try to pull you back into the version of yourself they're familiar with. And honestly, I think a lot of teenagers shrink themselves because they're terrified of social rejection or the fear of seeming different. But if you study almost anyone who has changed something in the world, they usually had an unusual level of willingness to be misunderstood. And I'm not saying everyone needs to be famous or start a company or invent something world-changing. That's not the point. The point is that so many people are limiting themselves before they even begin because they're trying to avoid discomfort at all costs. But discomfort is almost always there when growth starts. The first conversation is uncomfortable, the first speech is uncomfortable, the first project is uncomfortable, the first leadership position is uncomfortable, and the first time putting your ideas out publicly is uncomfortable. Everything meaningful usually starts that way. I think one of the most admirable things a person can do today is care deeply about something, because detachment has somehow become the personality trait everybody tries to imitate. People want to seem unbothered, unbothered all the time. But the people who are actually inspiring usually aren't detached at all. They're energized, curious, passionate, intense. They light up when they talk about ideas, they ask questions, they care enough to put real effort into things. But maybe that's the real difference between people who stay stuck and people who grow into extraordinary versions of themselves. Some people wait until they feel fully confident, fully validated, fully ready. Other people decide they'd rather risk embarrassment than spend their lives wondering who they could have become. I think that's what leadership really is: the willingness to step forward before you even have proof you'll succeed. So if there's something you've been wanting to start, a project, a club, a podcast, an idea, a goal, or even just a little conversation, maybe this is your reminder that almost every meaningful thing begins with someone being brave enough to look different first. Because every extraordinary life has a chapter where it doesn't make sense to anybody else in the world quite yet. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Young Lears of Tomorrow. I'm Julia Zucki and I'll see you next episode. Thank you.