Marriage Circle

Prayer is Key!

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0:00 | 15:46

This week on Marriage Circle, Olufunbi and Tomilade highlight the importance of prayer in the marriage. They talk about ways to build a daily prayer altar that will ensure a space where husband and wife are constantly communicating with Christ. Ultimately they encourage marriages to focus on building an intimate prayer life as one of the keys to a thriving and Christ-centered marriage.

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Welcome to Marriage Circle

Speaker 1

Hello, welcome to Marriage Circle. My name is Tomi Ladeadebari and this is Olufunbe Adebari and we are Marriage Circle. This is a platform where we talk about all things marriage Christ's way, the Bible way and the kingdom way. We're so excited that you've joined us for today's episode. Come on board and take a listen. Hey guys, welcome to the first inaugural episode of Marriage Circle. I am so excited, we're so excited. I hope you're excited, right, Very excited Okay we're really excited.

Speaker 2

I'm like your guest on the show right.

Speaker 1

No, you're not a guest on the show, you're a co-host. This is a co-host. This is my co-host. You're the main host. I'm your co-host. This is a co-host. This is my co-host. You're the main host. I'm your co-host. Okay, whatever, this is marriage circle and this is our first episode and we're really excited. Um, today we're going to be talking about why are we married, not like why are we married, but like in general, like in theory, why. What's the purpose of marriage? Why are you married? Why go into this whole institution in the first place? So, fumi, why did you marry me? Because I'm beautiful? Okay, yes, thank god I'm. I'm beautiful, yes, but like, honestly, like why? Why did you marry me?

Speaker 2

because, um, from my perspective, I think, on the biblical perspective, that two are better than one, and if one chases one thousand two chase ten thousand so. I think that's a good reason to kind of like want to be with someone where you can like drive those bubbles together.

Speaker 1

Okay, so you're like you're talking about like the exponential growth or multiplication kind of thing.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it could be like that because, like it's like, you have an help me yeah, both sides yeah, when you're like going somewhere, one person can hold the other person or if you feel like you're weak in this area, that a person can you know help you, and I think it's just a very beautiful thing to have, knowing that even when you're weak, you have someone that you're like.

Speaker 1

You know on your weak side they're strong and they can help you in those moments and in those areas where you really need help yeah, yeah, actually, when you were talking, there was a scripture that came to mind and I want to read genesis, chapter 2, verse 18, starting to adam and eve. And the bible says then the lord god said it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him. So the lord god formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought all of them to man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one of them. He gave the names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky and all the wild animals, but still there was no helper. That was just right for him.

Speaker 1

I'm not going to read the whole story, but like, if you keep going, it starts this bible talks about how the lord made adam go into this very deep sleep and then opened up his rib, opened up his belly, took his rib out and then formed woman from him. Um, and the bible says like how, basically, the word presented eve to adam and adam was like okay, that is that's bone of my phone. That's me right there. Is that what you felt when you saw?

Speaker 2

me. Let's agree to that right.

Speaker 1

I mean theoretically, that's what should happen.

Speaker 2

People could end up video for that okay, wait, what did you see?

Speaker 1

you saw me on instagram. Okay, exactly, and I'm pretty sure adam saw something very similar in eve. But honestly, though, and more seriously the the points that I really wanted to highlight about that was how, like the lord said, it's not good for adam to be alone. So like god had created eden for him and had all these birds, these trees, these fruits, these rivers, all these beautiful things for adam. But yet god was like your job is to tend to this. But god was like it's not good for you to do it by yourself. He knew that he could do it by himself, right, but it probably be better if he had help. And then that's why God was like okay, here goes woman. And that was like, literally, the first marriage. And the idea of marriage was like created. And every time I think about that scripture, I'm always like okay, number one, marriage is not mandatory, right? If you desire it, great.

Speaker 1

If you don't, it is what it is right, I'll go to god, no matter what, like it's okay if you don't desire to go into marriage, but if you have that desire right and you go to god, god has that person. That could be that that helped me for you. And I feel like when, when, when people think about the whole idea like why am I married? You have to think about it, that it's bigger than you.

The Biblical Foundation of Marriage

Speaker 2

You know there's a popular story about created an institution of marriage. Yeah, it's like there's a purpose for, so we're coming together exactly a godly purpose.

Speaker 1

A godly purpose not just you know we're just having kids and having baby.

Speaker 2

Those are even godly seeds and godly fruits, yeah, but there's a bigger purpose that god wants to bring each other together exactly like from like, if I can call like a power yes, amen, amen.

Speaker 1

And the way I think about it because, like god, had created Eden and it's like this amazing garden, but it would go to waste if there wasn't somebody to take care of it and that's what I feel like the purpose of marriage is is like with each man and woman, like God gives you a garden to tend to and you're supposed to produce fruit physical fruit, spiritual fruit, biological fruit you know, that will bring glory to God, that will bring praise to the kingdom of God. And I think that if married people can reel it back in sometimes and kind of go back to that fundamental purpose of like okay, god brought us together to tend this garden, I feel like it would make things a little bit easier, definitely, and understanding why you're together yeah, because most people think about it from a self standpoint yeah not really from like God is bringing us together people still have

Speaker 1

like this self mentality, having like this, like now, we're one exactly, and two shall become exactly one yeah, and on that note, like that whole idea of two people becoming one, I feel like it's really important, as you're going, when you go into marriage, to get a vision for your marriage right.

Speaker 2

Yes, definitely.

Speaker 1

Because if you don't have a vision for what the marriage is supposed to be like, I feel like that's why people get into marriage and they start to struggle Like why am I here?

Speaker 2

Yeah, I think that's where the holy spirit comes in yeah to kind of like help you, because the spirit knows the mind of god for bringing you two together. Yeah, so once you're able to consult with the spirit, you'll be able to like really tell you okay, this is the plan, this is the purpose you're meant to probably have a ministry you're meant to have like a foundation you have to have a school something like bigger than your own personal milestone or vision for yourself.

Speaker 2

So there's a reason why God is bringing you together, but most times, most people focus on just like oh, my own agenda Instead of like God. What's your agenda For us coming together?

Speaker 1

I'm not saying we're perfect, but I do remember, right before we got married, the couple of weeks leading up to us having, like our actual wedding, we took time out to fast and pray and just ask God to give us a direction over the different, like I guess areas of our marriage Right, which is a fun time it was.

Speaker 1

no, it was. It was really nice, like I really enjoyed that. We did that and the reason why I liked it is because what we did was we kind of mapped out the different aspects of our marriage. Remember, we talked about our ministry, we talked about our careers. We had a shared note in our phones with each other. We talked about our children. We talked about the number of children, which we're still coming to agreement on that note. We talked about our finances, even just like extracurricular vision that God had given to us, like not-for-profit organizations, etc. And I remember each day we dedicated to like okay, today we're going to be fasting and praying about our children and then the next we're gonna be fasting children about, like our careers, and I really we still go back to those notes right?

Speaker 2

yeah, because it's always good, because the vision you based on what the Holy Spirit like, gave to you during this period. The vision helps you kind of like know the direction to go exactly. You cannot have one person going north, another person going south, exactly just to be like one direction. Yeah, what are we like focusing on in this season? Are we doing in different areas? Yeah, because that helps you to kind of like in the holistic view. It's kind of like those.

Speaker 2

Put those pieces together to kind of like make your life okay. This is god's plan of purpose. But now we are living in it, yeah, you know, because you can be doing life and not doing god's problems that is that um say that again. Baby, say it again god created us for the purpose yeah, yeah and yeah that is why we are here yeah it's not.

Speaker 2

Oh, I just want to do my own thing. Yeah, I'm mind doing what God wants me to do. Yeah, and couples have to, like, have that plan exactly and present it to God. Yeah, god, what are you saying in this season, what do you want us to do? Because I always say I think, not consulting God. Yeah, the person that you're sitting there married is a form of pride. Hmm, because it's like oh, yeah, you created this car, but I'm not going to follow the manual. Yeah, I'm going to create my own manual yeah, but there's a chance that the car is going to crash.

Speaker 1

You preach it. Yes, there's a chance.

Speaker 2

The car is going to crash and that's sometimes um what happens the car is going to what it's going to crash because if you are not following the manual, there's a higher likelihood that it's going crash. Because you're gonna fall in the manor. There's a high likelihood that it's gonna crash. So I think it's always good to just go in having like a vision yeah and always consulting god in different seasons yeah go step by step like hey, god, what are you saying this season?

Speaker 2

yeah, what are we meant to focus on this season? And even down to the little things that we think god doesn't care about, he's always. Always good to have a plan and a purpose.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I remember and I really love everything you just said and again, it took me back to that time, from when we did the fasting and prayer and, I think, our advice. Honestly, my husband keeps talking about consulting God, consulting God, consulting God, because God instituted marriage and in order to thrive in it, you have to include him in it.

Speaker 2

He's like the center of it, literally.

Speaker 1

I think it's in the book of Ecclesiastes. It talks about like a threefold cord is not easily broken and I love that scripture for marriage because there's the husband, there's the wife, but at the center is Christ. If you look at the triangle, he's the apex of that triangle has to be.

Speaker 1

God has to be christ, um, and I believe that christ-centered is what God desires.

Speaker 1

And when you keep Christ at the center of it and understanding that also, like you talk about Christ in the church all the time, I really feel like marriage is supposed to be, that like physical representation of what the union of Christ in the church is supposed to look like.

Speaker 1

And so when we look through scripture and we see how, like Christ sacrificed for, you know, for the church, christ loved the church so much and basically gave himself. And you know, for the church, christ loved the church so much and basically gave himself, and you know the love that exists between Christ and the church, that's what's supposed to exist between a husband and a wife. And when you see that and you see the fruits that came out of it I mean the millions of Christians that there are today, the millions of souls like that kind of fruit that came out of the union of christ in the church, um is supposed to what's supposed to come out between a husband and a wife, um, and I think that once we get back to biblical principles and understanding what the bible prescribes for marriage and for us, we'll understand why we're married.

Speaker 2

Yeah and that's the manual. Like yeah, literally that's really the manner I know, like in our generation, sometimes we don't want to follow the manual. Like, yeah, literally. That's really the manner I know, like in our generation, sometimes we don't want to follow the manual yeah, we feel like we want to use cultural, cultural perspective, like like figure it out and that's why we're going to some of these conversations later, like submission, respect and things that people argue about you might have like, no like no, just follow.

Speaker 1

Yeah. What does the bible say about it? And if you can just do things god's way, yeah, you have a better chance absolutely, absolutely like a better chance of like your marriage walking in gospel yeah not just being like a oh everybody, everybody's married yeah, and I feel like there's so much dissatisfaction in marriage today because people don't understand why you got married right. Did you only get married because the man was fine?

Speaker 2

Did you only get married because the woman was fine?

Speaker 1

I mean, it is a shot. I can't with you. Yes, it is important for you to be attracted. That's a whole other episode on its own. But yes, that's very important. But at the end of the day, you didn't marry for looks. Looks are going to fade at some time. Bobby says beauty is vain. Like those things are soon going to fade away.

Speaker 1

But when two people, a man and a woman, decide to come together to unite for God's purpose, two believers, two believers, yeah Decide to come together and unite in God's purpose and God's plan and say, lord, we're coming together to glorify your kingdom purpose and God's plan and say Lord, we're coming together to glorify your kingdom, to advance your kingdom on this earth, to bring forth fruits that will honor the kingdom of God, then God is 110% behind you and I feel like that's what keeps satisfaction up in marriage.

Marriage as Kingdom Partnership

Speaker 2

When you realize that I'm not here for me.

Speaker 1

Exactly.

Speaker 2

I'm here for God. I'm here. I'm here for god I'm here for god.

Speaker 1

I decided because marriage is a decision, and I keep like stressing that marriage is a decision. I decided to marry you because I strongly believe that you're god's plan for my life in terms of that area, because I made that you know, decided that I desire it, but then I believe that you're also the person that together we can conquer the world, like literally. I really feel like together you and I can do so much, um, do so much good on the earth, bring so much glory to the name of God on this earth because of our union. Yeah, and that is why. That's why we're married.

Speaker 2

We're married because we want to bring glory to the name of God exactly God's plan, divine plan yeah because he has a plan for each and every one of us yeah but also two people deciding to come together. He has like like a bigger joint exactly, yeah that decision doesn't ignore the plan he has for most of the time. Yeah, it always aligns yeah you know, when you put him first, he figures out a way to make sure that what you're doing and what I'm doing aligns to his ultimate goal yeah and then he's able to, like bring the two together.

Speaker 1

Okay, we're gonna make this like a kingdom thing yeah, exactly when you read malachi, chapter 2, verse 15 and 16. We can probably like wrap up on that, though, but like malachi, 2, 15 and 16 talk about how the reason I'm paraphrasing, the reason why the man married the wife of his youth right is to bring forth godly seed, and every time I read that scripture I don't think I'm. I don't think the Bible is only talking about physical seed. I think it's talking about spiritual seed. I think it's about bringing forth godly fruit on this earth so that the kingdom of God can be established. We always say let your kingdom come, your will be done, and that's a prayer that I pray for our marriage all the time that Lord, let your kingdom come through us, let your will be done through us, so that, ultimately, the kingdom of God is glorified.

Speaker 2

Definitely yeah, and I think that's the prayer that we should all pray you know, for those married, for those just getting into your life or desire into your marriage for these things. I want your purpose to be fulfilled, yeah absolutely, you know you can have all the money or the wealth or the riches, but if god's purpose is still not fulfilled, yeah, it's useless.

Speaker 2

It's useless, it's like vanity or preventative, yeah, um. So I think our prayer is, like everyone, we go back to reflect and we understand why God decided to bring two people together and to consult Him on His daily business and say Holy Spirit, what is the reason why you brought us together? And always just go back to Him to say, to say, okay, if there's something that is looking a little like you know, maybe gray or that like, hey, holy spirit, what are you saying today? What are you?

Speaker 1

saying tomorrow?

Speaker 2

what are you saying? Because they're not finances? What are you saying because I mean, you know our kids, you know um, and I know that the holy spirit is always there to like you keep talking about holy spirit.

Speaker 1

I think we're gonna have to do an episode yeah, that's like your best, that's your bestie, right?

Speaker 2

yeah, yeah, like so I think. I think we'll do an episode on that.

Speaker 1

Yeah, definitely, we'll definitely do that, but I think this is a big player.

Speaker 2

This was good to talk about. You know why god kind of like, brings like two people together. It's for the ultimate glory of god and we hope that you guys were blessed.

Speaker 1

I hope y'all were blessed. Yeah, I mean I could talk about this for a long time but, like he said, he's meshing Holy Spirit, so we got to do an episode on Holy Spirit. But honestly, I hope you guys enjoyed today's talk. I love just staying with my husband, so I'm having a great time and I hope you are too. Anyway, we hope you guys Will join us for our Next episode. Let us know what you guys Thought. What are your thoughts On?

Speaker 1

why, People get married or why, If you're married, why are you married? I really would love to know?

Speaker 2

Or if you're single, why do you desire? Why do you?

Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

Speaker 1

want to get married. Why do you want to get married? But anyway, guys, that sounds like A Tyler Perry movie. Can you stop? Can you stop? Anyway, we love y'all. Have a great day night, whatever morning, whatever time you're listening to this, but we look forward to seeing you, guys on our next episode of Marriage Circle. Bye. Thank you so much for joining us on today's episode of Marriage Circle. We hope you enjoyed it. We have so many more episodes coming. I hope you follow us on social media, on TikTok, instagram, youtube, you name it. We are there. Looking forward to seeing you next time. Bye.