The Mechanics Guild Ep. 8: "Tried and Tested"

The Guild's trials continue and our trio is put to the test(s). 

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This chapter of The Mechanics Guild is run using Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition (2014) rules. 

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The Mechanics Guild is written and played by Sarah Davis Reynolds, Carlina Parker, Attilio Rigotti, and Clay Westman. 

Additional writing and Lorekeeping is by Taylor Fagins. 

Music is by Clay Westman. 

"Liv's Lullaby" is written and performed by Carlina Parker.

Theme song is by Arcane Anthems. 

Editing is by Taylor Fagins, Carlina Parker, Attilio Rigotti, and Clay Westman. 

Album art and logo is by Dan Pindell. 

Character Illustrations are by LaserLazuli.

Produced by Ian Prince. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Last episode, you had the conversation in the husk. Um, so you finally met each other and talked. Um, I can't believe it has taken this long. Um things you did discuss. Actually, tell me what you discussed. I know, but I want to see if y'all remember.

SPEAKER_06 0:18

So there's a magical aura around all of this, all of us, which was a bit mind-boggling to Argo.

SPEAKER_05 0:27

Um Argo and Argo found saw it. It was Argo.

SPEAKER_06 0:30

Yes. Argo cast detect magic uh and saw that aura around everyone. Um, I think was most shocked to find that around Darius as well. Uh, but outside of that, we also sat in on a meeting between Mervina and was it Yaskeen? Zaskeen. Uh Zaskeen. Zaskeen.

SPEAKER_03 0:52

I said hor- I said Hormoot, and I'm that was close.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Uh, that's his last name.

SPEAKER_06 0:56

Yeah.

unknown 0:57

Cool.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

Zaskeen Harmoot. Yep.

SPEAKER_06 0:58

Harmoot. Um, we sat in on that meeting, uh, or just like the tail end of it we caught.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Um Dario specifically was eavesdropping.

SPEAKER_06 1:07

Yeah. And I failed.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

And failed the stealth. Yes.

SPEAKER_06 1:09

Couldn't get much out of that. But um after that, like, you know, chat we had with her, uh, one of the most like notable bad bitch things she did was she told us about that trade dispute too. Uh, sort of to illustrate, like, there is there is danger in jumping to conclusions too soon. And there is value in seeing things seeing seeing things play out their like their natural course. Um, she's clearly very like tactical as well as diplomatic. Uh Argo has a lot to learn from her.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Um She's been doing this a lot longer than you.

SPEAKER_06 1:50

A lot longer. Uh oh, Darius had a uh sort of a PTSD episode just at the start.

SPEAKER_05 1:57

And I guess soothed by Carlina. By Carlina I mean live.

SPEAKER_06 2:00

Argo has a hard time empathizing with his past. Oh, that's a personal note. Um I wanna I can't share too much about my boy's tissue. We share on the Patreon.

SPEAKER_05 2:11

We shared all our letters we share all our letters, though.

SPEAKER_06 2:13

Yes, and we shared our secrets. Everybody shared their secrets. Um uh Attilio, not Darius, made a big stink about the value of his uh note versus other people's, which I may or may not leave in. Um but again, mine was I don't know who to trust, don't tell anyone. They found out the uh the elements are remnants of an ancient civilization. Um they're keeping it all super hush-hush, makes you wonder what else they're you know keeping from us. Uh Darius, you said that I don't remember your secret all. Someone is not someone who's not who we seem, something like that. Somebody who's not a yeah, there's like a spy or someone like that.

SPEAKER_05 2:49

There's like a betrayer.

SPEAKER_06 2:50

There's like a among the pledges. Um and Liv was very uh reticent to to share hers, but we did we did through a moment of I think very interesting character tension, we did uh get that out of her. Um and then after Argo left, he had that moment with uh uh Errol, and then Darius left. We didn't really see anything more from him, but Liv headed back, had that moment with Jax. We all remember that. Um I think that's it.

SPEAKER_05 3:17

Did you lie to Errol?

SPEAKER_06 3:19

Did I die?

SPEAKER_05 3:20

Is that what you did lie to Errol?

SPEAKER_06 3:22

About what no, no, I didn't have to. I just I did not tell her everything that we talked about.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

Yeah, she didn't really ask a lot of specific questions. Because Errol has shared her note with Argo. Yes. Um Argo, you didn't share that with Darius and Liv, correct?

SPEAKER_06 3:36

I did not. I did not share that one with them. So Argo's like the keeper of the notes, key secret keeper.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Yeah, so you know Jackson Calin's, which you did not share with them as well.

SPEAKER_03 3:46

So no, not mine to scare, to share.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

Um, yeah, and then uh Jax and Liv. So we're gonna cut the the note thing, so then actually it's just that um Oh Liv, you also went to the uh uh Vitalis Collegium and got some like tinctures that you mailed to your mom. Yeah. Um to like study.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Study.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

Uh to be like, hey, just in case this can help you. Okay, um, and we decided that Thieves can't is a is a language that you share with your mom as well. Um like a shorthand that you share with your mom. Yeah. Um and then yeah, Jack said that he was gonna go um like I know Dr.

SPEAKER_03 4:29

Shorthand, that's funny.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

Uh writing prescriptions over here. Um Jack said he was gonna go tell Kalen that you were back and all right. Um you weren't sure if you would return or not, even though you asked him to.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

To be fair, I never asked him. I said, if I asked you to come back to stay, would you? So if he doesn't diplomatic. I didn't ask him.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

My God. Oh good. Most diplomatic.

SPEAKER_06 4:55

I can't um actually thinking through every conversation that much, and I already do it a lot.

SPEAKER_03 5:02

Bippy. Bippy, it's uh it's a prison.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

Overthinking. Um cool.

SPEAKER_05 5:13

Any other uh Then we agree to meet later, I think after the test. Is that what we said? Did you we might have? I don't really recall. We were like, I can't remember. We were like, we must meet.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

You definitely, Darius definitely was like, we're a team now.

SPEAKER_05 5:26

We're a squad now. Like it or not.

SPEAKER_02 5:29

What? What? Yeah, so there's definitely a like uh connection. I don't know if y'all have set a time to meet.

SPEAKER_06 5:37

I don't remember. I love also that Darius is the one to kind of call that. Like, we know we end up together, but like of the three of us, we're just people caught in a crossfire. He's the one that articulates that this is us now. Yeah, now this is us.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

It's a very militaristic, like, great, we are perfect. We are this team now.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

We've seen battle together. That means we are battle together.

SPEAKER_06 5:59

I've watched you shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

I've watched you shit and kiss in the trenches. I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:06

We all got rail, we all got rail together. I don't like when he says it.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Um rail by a people together.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

Listen, as much as I love a shadow daddy, that's not the way I want to go out. The necro daddy here.

SPEAKER_05 6:28

Necrorula. Necrororula.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

And there's the first one.

SPEAKER_06 6:34

There's the first one. There's the first of the minute.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Oh, hi everyone.

SPEAKER_05 6:53

Oh, hi.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

Hi. Welcome back to the Mechanics Guild. Where a lot's going on.

SPEAKER_06 7:02

There's so much shit. There's so much shit. Now the gears are turning. We we're we have momentum. We have momentum.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

Because we're like when looking at the like arc of narrative arc of this structure, I was explaining to somebody recently. I was like, ah, yes, we are in the pit of despair.

SPEAKER_05 7:17

For sure. And don't even think. Don't even think about it.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

And you have to go to school.

SPEAKER_05 7:24

And we have to go to school.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Anyways, let's do some homework here. Um, specifically work coming from home. Um, so last we left our heroes. Um we've been having some some good uh emotional moments. Uh Darius went and like studied and did his homework while Argo and Liv uh had relationship conversations.

SPEAKER_05 7:48

Um I don't have to have those problems when you don't have any relationships.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

I hate that. Uh we'll fix that. Um you have relationships now. You have your teammates. You've come together, you're a team now.

SPEAKER_06 8:02

Yeah, and your words, we're a squad now, whether we like it or not.

SPEAKER_02 8:06

Yeah, exactly that.

SPEAKER_06 8:07

Is that my accent thing? It's not very good. It was more Russian than it is.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

Yeah, it's fantasy.

SPEAKER_06 8:14

I think because Darius is so stoic, I'm like, dude's Russian for sure. But that's not. That's not it.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

I'll find it.

unknown 8:20

I'll find it.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

He's Alfirani. Mark my words. Alfrani. Alfirani. Alfrani. Uh, so yeah, so you know that the the uh despite all of this, all of the strange things that are happening, the uh fellow pledges that are being downed, um, you have a test tomorrow. Uh fuck. And uh so you have done uh various um studyings and whatnot. Um the night passes. Uh live, you return to your bunk, no one was there yet. Um when you fell asleep. But when you wake up, you look to you, look over. There is a body next to you.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Well, I don't like the way they don't like the way you said it. Sorry. I don't like the way it isn't a live body.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

There is not a dead corpse in Liv's bed. Jesus!

SPEAKER_06 9:13

It's just as bad. It's like, is this the godfather? Like that really sets me out.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

There's a body in your bed. I said, oh wow, he's really mad at me, guys.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

Uh really mad. He said he put a he put a body in his uh in your bed. And he kind of did. Um, it's Kaylin. Kaylin is in bed next to you. Um, Jax is nowhere to be seen. And uh yeah, the the morning of the written test arrives. You all are ushered into the Livoldium, uh, which has been transformed since you were last here. Not a remnant remains of your brush with death. The floors have been waxed clean, the clockwork docents are filing around to the beat of a silent but synchronized metronome, and every lingering stack of books has been meticulously reshelfed without a speck of dust in sight. It is like nothing happened. Nothing except, of course, the reorganization of furniture filling the primary atrium with desks. Row upon row of perfectly measured and spaced desks, a sea of symmetry, broken up only by an odd number of rows in the middle, containing one fewer chair than the other nine rows. The massive doors close behind you, and looking around, you realize this is the first time since the opening feast that you have been able to see all of the active pledges in one place. Uh for those more tuned into picking up on emotional ambiance.

SPEAKER_06 10:39

So not Argo?

SPEAKER_02 10:40

So probably not Argo. Probably just maybe just Liv. Maybe Darius catches a little bit, but um, yeah, I mean, you you are noticing uh excitement, nerves, pride, determination, just like a whole cauldron of mental states, really. Um, you know, it's the it's the day of a big test. Um, but but this is the first time since the opening feast in which you really didn't know what was going on that you've been able to like see all of the pledges, this whole group and sort of look around at them and see who your competition and comrades are. Uh, does it may I?

SPEAKER_03 11:22

Does it seem like anybody is like apprehensive to be in this place as if the information about the battle that we had has gone around, or if anybody knows who we are because of it? You may roll me in it.

SPEAKER_06 11:34

Oh yeah, is anybody looking at us? Yeah, Argo doesn't clock that, but are they?

SPEAKER_03 11:39

Insight, inside, um, is gonna be a 23.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

Um fuck, fuck.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

No one 17 on the die, baby.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, no one is specifically looking at you, except for all of the pledge masters in this space. The pledges aren't, but the pledgemasters are. And from this you can gather the news about this has not gotten out yet. Remember that you all were shifted. The battle did not take place in this podium. It took place in this like pocket thing, and it only took, what, a minute and a half?

SPEAKER_03 12:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

So anyone who is in here studying probably did not even know that it happened. And the news from those that, you know, the pledge masters, the guild that was paying attention, they have not let anyone of the pledges know about this yet. So you three are the only ones in this room who know what happened.

SPEAKER_06 12:45

It's gotta feel weird being back. I think it I think it's the first time Argo's ever felt uncomfortable in a library. Sorry, the volume.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

Same thing.

SPEAKER_06 12:56

Place of books, book home.

SPEAKER_05 12:59

Can I do a check to see, you know, like uh examine the the environment a little bit to see if there are any marks left or anything?

SPEAKER_02 13:07

Sure.

SPEAKER_05 13:10

Investigation, you know, don't you want me to roll acrobatics for some reason?

unknown 13:13

No, I think we don't.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

Uh if you would like to roll acrobatics to flavor your investigation, that's on you, but it doesn't have a DC because it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_05 13:22

I rolled a one. You did not. You did not. Are you serious? I like the worst. Yeah, it definitely rolled the worst.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Do you actually just roll a one on your investigation? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:32

I like the worst. Auto fit. They fire you immediately. Like, do I bump into a desk? Like, what happens?

SPEAKER_06 13:39

Fucking knock over a whole stack of books.

SPEAKER_05 13:42

Run my finger for something and the whole thing goes.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

I've gone blind! I've gone blind. Uh I've gone blind. Uh yeah, no, I don't think so. I think you just um you you do not see any marks of any kind that is left. Uh it looks like nothing happened here. Um, you see uh Freon, the grand pledgemaster, um, steps exactly two steps up the central staircase because remember the atrium is sort of in the middle, and then there's the second floor that goes up. Uh so she steps exactly two steps very precisely, turns to face everyone. All 57 of you are, you know, gathered in the center here. And she surveys and without a word, calmly and swiftly taps a staff on the ground. A burst of light rushes forth from her staff and splits as individual motes of light twist towards your group and fall away, leaving only a single streak of light headed straight for you for each of you. The light reaches you, circles you, and then heads to a desk directing you where to sit. 57 motes of light, and each of you only see the one tethering you to your assigned desk. A single scroll and a pen awaiting you.

SPEAKER_06 14:56

How close is Argo to Errol?

SPEAKER_02 15:00

To Errol? Ooh. You are in the second row, she is in the last.

SPEAKER_05 15:13

You can't cheat off her now. Yeah, that was the intent.

SPEAKER_06 15:18

Argo gives a hopeful glance over to her and uh as reassuring a nod as he can manage before walking right up to the front of the class.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

Roll me an insight.

SPEAKER_06 15:33

Shit, fuck. Okay. Pretty good for Argo. That's a 21.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

Yeah. Uh you give that reassuring nod to Errol. She beams back at you, and you clock that despite the conversation that you had with her yesterday. She is not quite grasping the gravity of this situation. This is still a little int like exciting to her. Um she hasn't tasted death yet.

SPEAKER_06 16:10

I'm starting to wonder if her not doing so well on this exam wouldn't be the worst thing.

SPEAKER_05 16:15

Um I'm gonna walk towards my desk, but I'm gonna steal a glance at Liv and Argo, wherever they are. Uh to make sure I know where my team is, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

And I walk- And I want to know where my team is, which is not that is true.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

Yeah, I think you and Kaylin walked here together and Jax met you here. Cool. Is he looking at me? No. Very pointedly, no.

SPEAKER_05 16:41

Is he looking at her butt?

SPEAKER_02 16:42

No, he is looking down.

SPEAKER_06 16:44

Adi, don't fuck with this tension. They got shit they gotta work out. We're not here, we're not here.

SPEAKER_03 16:49

He he will not meet your eye. Can I inside if it's because he's mad or if because he's regretting that he didn't come over?

SPEAKER_04 16:58

Go for it.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

Well, that wasn't very good. I can't see. That's a nine.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

You can't tell. You cannot read him. Great, cool. There are very few people in this world that are very good at hiding their emotions from you, and he is one of them.

SPEAKER_03 17:13

What the fine. I'm also stoic. I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

I don't care. Uh great. Um, so free and ways for everyone to settle. Clears her throat, uh, speaks and says pledges. As a mechanic, you must be prepared for any and all circumstances and adjust accordingly. Sometimes a plan you think you have in place will simply no longer serve based on what the situation around you requires from you. For example, you were told that you would be given a written exam and an oral test, and that these would be at different times. We believe you are ready for more rigorous examination. They are now both today, right now, and may not follow the format you are expecting.

SPEAKER_05 17:54

Thank God. Don't make me just a sigh.

SPEAKER_06 18:02

Head voice, just head voice, head voice, head voice, a sigh, a deep sigh, cuts through the entire classroom.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Uh okay, cool. Um, I wanted to do something with this trial that pokes at our hypothesis here at the mechanics field a little bit. Um, so we are going to lean into a mechanic uh here in DD5E, our current system, uh, for one part of this test, and then we're going to lean into character here, role play, for another. Um so you unfurl the scroll and ink begins to appear on it, looping and swirling in font that feels too stylistic for a simple exam. Questions fill the page, multiple choice answers filing in under every one. The queries cover survival, negotiation, history, artifice, arcana, trap identification, all manner of skills needed to exist in the untamed, unknown verses you will be sent to.

unknown 18:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Uh, we are gonna play with some rules here from the Strix Haven source book of Dungeons and Dragons. Shout out to the best school of magic, hashtag silverquilitarlife. Uh all right, so this covers um the way that it works in that system is it covers exams in two phases. There's a studying phase and then a testing phase. So I want to retroactively talk about the studying phase now. Um, Darius, we actually did this at the tail end of the last episode for you, so let's do this with everyone. Um I'm gonna have each of you make me a skill check. The DC on this is going to be a 15. You can use any ability or skill for this check, but you can only make it once, and no, you cannot have advantage on it. Um and I want you to pick a skill based on how you think you would have studied. Please justify to me the skill that you are using. Um, so Darius, since we started with you at the last, at the end of the last episode, let's start with you here. How would Darius have studied?

SPEAKER_05 19:51

I would have meditated and read uh texts. Uh, but not in a consuming, I would have been very meticulous about it. I wouldn't have been like, consume, consume, consume. I would have been like, there's like one overall one that I would have read very quickly. I would have meditated on it. I would have remembered from meditation to remember from last experiences, from life, etc.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

So, what skill are you trying to sell me here?

SPEAKER_05 20:15

Uh it's probably Acrobatics. Acrobatic.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

I nimbly dove through the.

SPEAKER_05 20:22

I mean, it would probably be perception or insight.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Um insight if you're doing slow.

SPEAKER_05 20:27

Yes. And that oh, I do have a plus three in insight. I've forgotten about that. Uh I'm gonna roll this. Sorry, I'm gonna be stupid and then you're gonna, just because I always want to cover my bases. If I'm doing inside, I don't have to use a wisdom modifier. I'm doing the inside modifier, right?

SPEAKER_02 20:42

Correct.

SPEAKER_05 20:43

Okay, perfect.

SPEAKER_02 20:43

Um, and now rules is written. A success on this is gonna give you a re-roll during your test. Great. A failure does nothing, but I do want to up the stakes a little. Um, so there are some additional rules in Strix Haven about pulling an all-nighter, studying together other things, like other ways to study. So we are going to do some studying rules here. You can pull an all-nighter, which is if you succeed on this roll, you will gain two uh critical reasoning or re-rolls on a successful check, but you will also take a level of exhaustion. If you study normally, which is I believe what you said you were gonna do, Darius, but I will let you retroactively change this now that you hear all of this. If you study normally, you will gain one critical reasoning or re-roll on a successful check, and one clueless on a failure, which is gonna give you disadvantage once. And if you don't study, you will just not do a check and you will gain two clueless, which is two disadvantages on your test.

SPEAKER_05 21:40

And a disadvantage means I roll two Darius. That's what I thought, the reverse. Yeah. Okay. Um Darius uh studies a normal amount of time. Um he does it by being very specific on which texts he reads, which are not many, but he reads a couple. He also meditates uh and Looks inside himself to find his own experiences, his memories, and ha and call on his past to sort of help him uh answer in the future. So he'll use insight for that. And I'm gonna roll. Please, God.

SPEAKER_06 22:16

Uh uh. This is how taking tests felt to me in school. It felt like just a roll of the dice.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

It's really nuts.

SPEAKER_06 22:26

Adi, did you? That's gotta be bad. I'm sure you didn't just You motherfucker! Are you rolling in D1?

SPEAKER_05 22:33

And you're doing this digitally? Yeah, man. I just gotta go stop.

SPEAKER_06 22:36

Stop this again. You're you you you baffle me.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

Have you prayed recently? I think the universe is.

SPEAKER_06 22:49

Thank you just have you broken glass?

SPEAKER_03 22:52

Have you said thank you to the earth? Any reads of anyone. Anything.

SPEAKER_05 22:58

I got a one. So the three is a four.

SPEAKER_06 23:01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

So I didn't say this because I hoped it wouldn't be relevant, but I do need to say that in the studying rules, and Taylor can back me up on this here. I have also written Nat ones will also give a clueless.

SPEAKER_04 23:12

Yeah, so I get a clueless.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

You get two cluelesses.

SPEAKER_04 23:16

Oh I get two cluelesses.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

You get one for failing and you get one for rolling another one.

SPEAKER_04 23:21

Wow. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

Great.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

I love I can't wait to see how it's going to be a little bit more.

SPEAKER_05 23:27

What does that mean for my thing? Does that mean that I'm just like answering a random? Do I go like that? It means you gotta get right with Christ and start rolling that.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

It means do you have sage? It means that you have about five to ten minutes while your other party members do their checks here, and you need to figure out what's going on with your life before we go into the video. The rest of this episode that is going to require a lot of dice rolling.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

Oh, God help us all.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

Lavinia. Yeah. How would you have studied?

SPEAKER_03 23:55

I know that like a lot of what we were doing was trying to find practice tests or previous tests. Um, if that didn't work, it would be finding and talking to the two maybe some teachers or pledges and just trying to convince them to be like, oh, well, I know that this is helpful. Do you have any like um tips or tricks for me? I have a noble background and a pretty smile. I'm hearing persuasion and either persuasion or deception, but I will I will go with persuasion to convince people to give me the right answers.

SPEAKER_02 24:31

Yeah, I think it's persuasion here. And are you pulling it all nighter, studying normally, or not studying?

SPEAKER_03 24:36

Well, then this was just last night? Or no, this is sort of like during the entire study period. During the whole study period, it was so important to us. And I remember that like one of the main things that we were doing was going to the library. I think pulling it all nighter would have been on in the cards for us just to make sure we had an advantage here.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

Okay. Okay, come on.

SPEAKER_03 24:59

That is a 15 on the die for a dirty 20.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

Great. So you will gain two critical reasoning advantage, um, but you will also take a level of exhaustion.

SPEAKER_03 25:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:21

And uh for for that, I'm going to have that kick in after this test. Thank you. Exhaustion will kick in like end of day. That makes sense. You're running on coffee right now.

SPEAKER_05 25:34

What would the the wor this world's coffee be?

SPEAKER_02 25:37

Coffee.

SPEAKER_05 25:38

Just coffee. Coffee is universal. It's multiversal. Coffee is multiversal.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

It's a bean. It's bean water.

SPEAKER_05 25:46

Can we call it bean water?

SPEAKER_02 25:47

Bean juice. Hot bean juice. Tea is bean. Coffee is bean. Uh yeah. Yeah, that's the thing. Okay, actually, I'll go on a rant about this for a hot moment. In fantasy, everyone is always like, yeah, we have tea. Tea is a fantasy thing. There's so much tea. Why would we think that coffee is not also that? Right?

SPEAKER_05 26:04

Sure. But what bean are they like? The coffee bean.

SPEAKER_03 26:08

It might not be what our coffee bean looks like, but they've somehow come upon the word coffee and it makes it awake juice.

SPEAKER_06 26:14

The j awake juice. I trust any branch of humanity or any other thinking species to be able to figure out what things give them caffeine.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

Yep. Yep.

SPEAKER_06 26:25

And harvest them.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

Yep. Exactly. It is magic.

SPEAKER_06 26:29

That's game.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

Alright, Argo.

SPEAKER_06 26:32

You know I'm all nighting. I know. You know I'm pulling an all-nighter, but this time not because of the same reason I would normally. I I think uh I think he's trying to do some catch-up. Uh I think he's I think he's trying to catch up to uh Errol and the amount of time that she has spent studying um you know uh how do I want to say this? I think she's I think he's trying to catch up to Errol in one regard. Um but also this experience with this plane shift entity, uh it's I mean it's given him some heebie cheebies. I wouldn't be surprised if he also had some nightmares and uh would even have trouble sleeping through the night and do what he has always done and what Clay also does when he can't sleep and read. So um it's gonna be a flat history check. You got it for your boy, just straight up and down. Fuck yeah, and I love when dice uh tell the story in I love when dice tell the story I want to tell. Um so that is an 18 plus five twenty-three.

SPEAKER_02 27:33

Absolutely. All right, so two critical reasoning here, advantages, as well as a level of exhaustion that will kick in after the test.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

Got it.

SPEAKER_02 27:42

Um Strict Savan Rules is written, uh, have a very interesting mechanic where you take multiple exams over like the course of a year. Uh we have one day and one exam. So we are going to squish some things together and have all of it, you know, just be right here. Um, okay. The written test is split into six sections. And for each section, I need you all to make a testing roll. For each section, choose a skill. So we are gonna keep we are gonna score these tests at the end of this. And based on your marks, you will either get some boons or some burdens for your next role having to do with that skill specifically. So I recommend using different skills for each of these six sections. The sections are history and politics, alchemy and botany, cartography and tracking, trade and relations, battle tactics and anatomy, and arcana and identification. So here's a fun here's a fun min-maxing game thing that we can play here. Is I will not give you a burden or a boon more than once per skill. So if you want multiple boons, I would recommend using multiple skills.

SPEAKER_05 28:56

Which means you can use the same skill over and over again, but you only get one boon.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

Yes. We cannot stack boons. Alright, for history and politics. Darius, what are you rolling?

SPEAKER_05 29:06

I'm using my clueless. Uh, and I am going to roll History. Uh so I'm gonna roll two D20s.

unknown 29:17

Ooh!

SPEAKER_05 29:19

16.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 29:22

Now, now using my fucking clueless. Well, you know, of all the bad good rolls I could have gotten, this is probably a good moment to have that.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

Yeah? Lavinia. Um, for history and politics, I would like to roll Deception.

unknown 29:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 29:36

I love that.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

Well, that sucked. That was a three plus seven for a ten. This is you can use your advantage here if you want. I know it just sucks because I was gonna use it somewhere else. Um, but I do really want to do well at this because this is the whole point. I'm gonna put this over here. 19 on the die. That's better. Um plus seven for a 26.

SPEAKER_05 29:59

Wow. Plus seven on deception? That's nuts. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 30:05

Argo. For number one. Mm-hmm. History and politics. Shockingly, Argo will be using his history skill. Okay. Uh he got a 16 on that. Great.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

Yeah, you all did well.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

And you're not telling us DCs, is what you said, correct? I am not. Boo. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 30:25

Because it's not actually a DC, it is a grading curve. Okay. Boo. Alright. Alchemy and botany.

SPEAKER_06 30:34

Argo. For alchemy and botany, Argo will be using Arcana, and he has rolled a 23. Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

Look at this nerd.

SPEAKER_06 30:44

Plus five history, plus five uh in Arcana. Fucking I I'm set, baby. I'm an all-it character. It's working out today.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

Hasn't even used his advantages yet.

SPEAKER_06 30:55

Who needs them?

SPEAKER_03 30:56

Uh, live. Okay. Alchemy and botany. I'm trying to see if there's anything that if I can talk to a plant.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

For what it's worth, I would allow you to do some like persuasion deception be if you um worked with your mom on any of this. Well, I want to.

SPEAKER_03 31:16

Um, I think it's more so, you know how when you're like talking to someone and if you let them tell stories, they're just inclined to be nicer to you and treat you better because they feel like you're interested in the things that they're doing. So that's kind of that's kind of the uh um how it went. She would go into her mom's like um greenhouses and be like, mom, tell me what's going on. And then she'd be like, that's so awesome.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

Can I go with my friends to is it more direct lies or is it more pretending to do something? I think it's more pretending.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

I don't because I don't think I'm actually lying that I'm not interested in what my mom does. Performance. Alright, then that's performance. Come on. And that was a natural one. Cool, I love that. I love that for me. For how much total? That is for um a four.

unknown 32:12

Cool. God.

SPEAKER_03 32:14

Darius.

SPEAKER_05 32:15

Um, I if I had learned any alchemy or botany in my time as a soldier, it would be to find medicinal plants uh or to find things I can take from nature to sustain myself or survive. So I'm gonna use medicine. I am not going to use my cluelist because I feel more confident about my medicine knowledge. Uh, and I'm going to roll only one di tante. Um, and an eleven.

SPEAKER_03 32:43

Hey!

SPEAKER_05 32:47

I saw one in that role and I was worried. Not one, but two!

SPEAKER_02 32:52

Not one but two. Uh, cartography and tracking. Live.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Um, cartography and tracking. I was going to use sleight of hand because so much of cartography is like being delicate with like how you place things. I will allow it. 18 on the die plus two for a dode 20.

SPEAKER_06 33:17

Great. Argo. Argo is going to rely on perception, which he got from his background as a sailor. I gave him the sailor background because that's what his dad is, and he grew up kind of doing that with him. Um, so using perception, uh, he got a total, ooh, of a 22.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

Nice. Uh, Darius.

SPEAKER_05 33:38

Um, for my cartography and tracking, I will rely on my survival skills, uh, which will be using uh as a as a uh soldier of tight-knit squads. There must have been a lot of uh knowing your surroundings and your environment. Uh I'm relying on the tracking side of that cartography and tracking. Uh so I'm gonna roll a survival, and here we go. 20. Dirty 20.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

Y'all doing so great, and you were so worried.

SPEAKER_05 34:06

I'm still worried. I got one clueless left. I got one clueless left.

SPEAKER_02 34:11

Halfway done with the test. Trade and relations. Argo.

SPEAKER_06 34:17

Yeah, okay. So this one, this isn't really in my will my my wheelhouse, but I am gonna use investigation to try and give me the maximum possible uh result here. Uh but the first thing I have rolled is a three. So I will use my advantage on this. And the the second thing I've rolled is a four. So, again, the dice will tell the story. Um, I guess it's meant to be I will use my my plus five to add to the four and get a total of nine. I was never going to do well in trade and relations.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

Probably not. Uh, live.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

Um, trade and relations, I'm going to use insight because so much of your relations with other people are based on how you view them and how they view you. That is a six plus six for a twelve. Uh I think I'm gonna let that one sit. I think I'm gonna let that one sit at twelve.

SPEAKER_05 35:18

Great.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

Darius.

SPEAKER_05 35:20

Uh the Alpharanis are a proud nation uh with a long history of skirmish with the capital city of the region. And so I'm gonna rely on my intimidation because of the intimidation tactics that the Alferanis usually use. Yes, they actually, because they're a much lesser force, they usually make a much larger sound in order to hold their ground. Um use intimidation. I am not gonna use my clueless because I'm saying that for my arcana. Uh I got a two plus a one, a three. What should I just expect it?

SPEAKER_04 35:53

Woof, woof, woof. I was expected.

SPEAKER_05 35:57

Now this is really shitty. Battle tactics, I should be like the king of it. I guess I just suck a pause. Yeah, because it's a train relationship, the train relations. Sorry, this is train relationship. Oh yeah, I got nothing. I got nothing.

SPEAKER_02 36:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 36:10

We live in the mountains.

SPEAKER_02 36:11

Uh I will say, none of you were that great. It was a nine, a twelve, and a three, so you know. Well, maybe this is just not our strongest suit. Um, let's do battle tactics and anatomy, Darius. What would you use here?

SPEAKER_05 36:22

Athletic, we go, motherfuckers. Uh wow, I got seven plus a four and eleven. Okay, come on. Can I get an advantage because I'm a soldier?

SPEAKER_02 36:32

Like, I just feel like we went through all of the rules of stuff.

SPEAKER_06 36:37

But like Argo. Um, this is wild. Uh Argo is using uh his history because, you know, uh studying the the battles of old is feels like his best way forward. Um and he got a nat 20.

SPEAKER_05 36:55

Total of 25. You know, I'm okay with this. I think this test is an academic test on war. Doesn't exist anything about the bones.

SPEAKER_03 37:02

And it's also anatomy. You said I know the bones. Do you know the bones? I know the bone. I know the bone. I know the boon.

SPEAKER_05 37:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:09

Liv. Um I am using my acrobatics for battle tactics and anatomy. Because not only is it being sneaky, but it's also being stretchy. So I think it works for both. I don't want that workout for team. Um, and I am gonna use my second critical reasoning for this. Great. That's a natural 20 for 24.

SPEAKER_02 37:38

Uh, all right, final one. If you have not used one of your critical reasonings or cluelesses, you must use it here. Um, Argo.

SPEAKER_06 37:46

I my first roll was a one, and I was like, absolutely not. I am not allowing my boy to get a nat one on his thing. Uh, second roll was a nat 20.

SPEAKER_02 37:56

So incredible. We call that pulling a Carlina!

SPEAKER_06 37:59

Yeah, that's right. So total of 25.

SPEAKER_02 38:03

For Arcana specifically.

SPEAKER_06 38:04

Yeah, exactly. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 38:07

Darius.

SPEAKER_05 38:08

I uh acknowledge my lack of arcana knowledge, so I'm just gonna trust my arcana, which is a plus zero, and I'm gonna roll my dude 2D20s, which is my last clueless roll. Uh ha! I got seven.

SPEAKER_03 38:23

Live. Let's let's go with history. It's the same bonus, but I am technically proficient in it, so that makes me feel better. 19 on the die for a 21.

SPEAKER_06 38:33

Out of grow.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

How much shuttle? 21. Great.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

The atmosphere in this room is is tense. It has gone from excitement to tension. You hear quills like snapping as people apply pressure on them for them to only just immediately regrow. Um, there's muttering happening. A reminder that the ages of these pledges varies. And also, academia is not necessarily something that everyone pursues. So this is not necessarily uh the most comfortable situation for some folks. But you all finish your tests, you hand in your scrolls, you walk out of the Levoldium through the double doors into darkness, and feel a piece of parchment in your hand.

SPEAKER_06 39:28

Oh chill. Like a feel it appear in your hand? Yep.

SPEAKER_02 39:33

Um, and it's pitch black in front of us. It's like you have walked into a dark area. There is enough light that like if you put it up to your face, you would be like, Well, then I would read it.

SPEAKER_06 39:46

Yeah, let's unfurl that scroll.

SPEAKER_02 39:48

Unfurl the scroll.

SPEAKER_03 39:51

Oh my god, that's so fast. Crazy. They use AI to the case.

SPEAKER_02 39:56

Argo finish first? Yeah, yes, arcane intelligence.

SPEAKER_06 40:00

I like that, Sarah. That's really good.

SPEAKER_02 40:03

You look at your grades, you feel the way that you feel about them, and the parchment disintegrates once you have taken it in. And you see a colored moat of light move forward in front of you. Argo, the light in front of you is healed. Because it is a black sort of light. And live.

SPEAKER_03 40:51

My second favorite metal.

SPEAKER_05 40:57

What's your favorite metal? Gold.

SPEAKER_06 41:05

Sorry, rich girl joke. Argo R appalling. Argo follows the teal light. Stars into the darkness. Stars move forward.

SPEAKER_02 41:19

Same. You move forward following this slightly colored light. You feel before you see space opening up around you. And you emerge into a stone colosseum deep underground. Torches along every wall. There are several platforms and pillars. Many of them look broken. It very much looks like a ruin down here. Um you see up. If you look up, you see boxes of faintly glowing blue light. And if you squint and appear in a little bit, you see shadows moving behind that humanoid. Watching. There are five. This is very light. It is a circular Coliseum. On the far wall, there are five alcoves going deep back, and you see your light of color. Color of light? Motive colored light directing you towards one of these alcos. If you look to your left and right, you see four other people emerging at the same time as you three, Errol, and another pledge who you have seen around but have not introduced yourself to yet. All of you have a different color light. The other two colors are cobalt blue and lavender. They're all going to a separate alcove in the back. In the middle of the Coliseum, there is one pillar that has a glowing metal orb on it. It looks like it has writing on it.

SPEAKER_06 43:51

In the center of the Coliseum, you said?

SPEAKER_05 43:54

I acknowledge the live and um cargo. and I walk towards the pillar.

SPEAKER_06 44:04

Argo, uh, yeah. Argo gives Argo gives Darius a stoic nod and uh walks up with him.

SPEAKER_02 44:13

Great. If you go up to the orb, the metal orb, it does have writing all along it. It says convince the guardian, retrieve your relic. And then your light will continue into the one of the alcoves. Above each of the alcos is a different in the same color as your light is a different symbol. Lavender is a moon. The silver looks like a um like a burst of radiance. The black is a diamond blue looks like scales and teal is crossed swords.

SPEAKER_05 45:00

Onward to the diamond.

SPEAKER_02 45:03

As you walk towards the diamond, you hear the shifting of something large and see two red lights peering out at you from the darkness as a jet black dragon head emerges to God.

SPEAKER_05 45:19

To me or to all of us just to you just from your alcove from my alcove a dragon comes out who doesn't come out like just the head emerges.

SPEAKER_02 45:28

The rest of the body is hidden behind the alcove.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

Argo doing some quick math of five of us here and five alcoves goes oh god no please don't be right for once I'm gonna be honest the Mechanics Guild is lovingly created, produced and played by Sarah Davis Reynolds, Taylor Fagans, Carlina Parker, Ian Prince, Atilio Rogotti, and Clay Westman. The theme song is composed by Arcane Anthems. Follow the Mechanics Guild on social media and listen to our podcasts wherever podcasts can be found.

SPEAKER_02 46:31

Oh bye You unfurl the squirrel and ink begins to appear on it. Looping and squirreling in a font that feels too stylistic for a simple exam. Hold on we unfurl the squirrel is that unfurl the squirrel the squirrel it is squirrel hive oh my god that no it's not it's just a squirrel but I will commit to a bit if I have to hunt it please I am appalled squirrel dig your heels in the middle squirrel.

SPEAKER_06 47:05

I just I thought I was trying to catch you on something that we'd be like oh let's just go back and get that clean. No it is not bitch these are squirrel hides squirrel hides in the big little box of everybody in this universe has everyone find the rebels find the ribs and let's do the new train