She Left Journalism for Pastry School

Jackie Davalos had the career many people dream about — working as a Bloomberg TV and digital reporter after starting out in finance. But behind the success was something so many journalists know intimately: burnout.

The pressure, the toxic environments, the nonstop pace, the ignored warning signs — Jackie kept pushing until one question from her therapist changed the course of her life:

“If you had one year to live, what would you do?”

Her answer? Leave journalism. Move to France. Go to pastry school.

In this episode, Jackie shares how she walked away from a career she worked incredibly hard to build in order to finally listen to herself. We talk about burnout in journalism, trusting your gut, fear, reinvention, and why waiting for the “perfect time” can keep you stuck forever.

This conversation hit me personally in so many ways — and Jackie’s answer to whether she misses her old life made her story even more unforgettable.

If you’ve ever questioned your path, felt exhausted by the grind, or wondered what would happen if you actually listened to your inner voice… this episode is for you.

This episode is sponsored by Dude Wow Cocktails — bold flavor, real ingredients, and yes… it’s really good.
Get 10% off with code TURBULENCE26. Thanks for supporting the show.

And by Amazon, supporting small businesses and entrepreneurs across the country.

New Episodes Take Off Wednesdays!

Follow for life beyond the podcast: Newsletter | Instagram | TikTok | Facebook 

Watch the video version: YouTube 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Before we get into the episode, shout out to the sponsors supporting unscripted turbulence. First, Dude Wow Cocktails. Now, I love it's Bloody Mary mix without alcohol. So you can really make it your own. I've had it both ways. Even made a Mezcal martini with it. Shout out martinis with MEGI. Smoky, sultry, honestly, so good. If you're curious, use my code Turbulence26 for 10% off. The link is in the episode description. Also, Amazon, a proud sponsor of National Small Business Month here in the US, where more than 60% of sales come from independent sellers. Most are small and medium-sized businesses. Take what lands, leave what doesn't, and please follow or subscribe. It helps more than you know. All right, let's get into it.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

I'm in Honise right now. It's up near the Alps. It's in the mountains. If I showed you like maybe right now, you wouldn't believe me. But it's a completely like unplanned, unexpected trip. I was supposed to be where my stop my internship will be in Rouen, which is about an hour and a half away from Paris. But everything just got turned on its head, and then somehow I landed in this gorgeous little mountain town. And I think it was meant to be this way because I've never been, I've never been in a place like this before. It's like a gorgeous lake, you're near nature. I'm not a super nature person, but um it's everything that you would want out of like a calm mountain town. So yeah, in the end it worked out, but this is where I am, and my face is strong, ready to come.

SPEAKER_04 1:56

Thank god.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Okay, so you had a lot you had a chaotic week too, a little different than mine. You ended up in a mountain town, and I'm still in the story of Queens in the in my podcast, trying to figure out all this technical stuff. So it's the same thing. All right, okay, so shall we start? Shall we start my thing? Perfect. Okay, so welcome to Unscripted Turbulence. I'm your host, Reagan Menti, and today we are flying across the pond, if you will. And we are gonna go on a little bit of a trip, and of course, a trip of reinvention, exploration, adventure, and some sweet treats. And speaking of sweet treats, the person I have on today, Jackie Devalos. Is that did I say the last name right? Devalos. Perfect. Oh, thank goodness. Because I was trying to figure out how to say last name. Because the last name looks very Greek, so I'm like, Davalos. And you're like, well, not really. Davalos. Devalos.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

So I get Greek a lot, so don't worry.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

All right, Tikanis. I mean, how are you? So it's good. Um, all right. So Jackie uh is joining us across the pond. Where are you right now?

SPEAKER_00 3:08

I'm in Anasi, France, just outside of um Lyon. It's about an hour and a half away from Lyon and near the Alps. And it's a gorgeous mountain town that um surrounded by a lake and mountains and nature, and it's really majestic.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

Okay, so now this podcast has officially really gone international, which is wonderful. Um, and uh Jackie is there um because she, like me, decided to kind of cut the cord in terms of the TV news cord. Uh she was at Bloomberg, right? That's right. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

For about four five years, almost six years.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

Okay. And you're big about face now.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

You are in France because I'm in, well, as of uh last Friday, I was in pastry school and I just graduated. So I'm officially a pastry chef.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

This is fabulous. Okay, well, we're gonna we're gonna dive into that because talk about and about face. I love this. So I got to know Jackie through the world of Instagram. My friend Janice Yu, who, if you have been listening to this pod, know she and I used to work at Channel 7 Eyewitness News in New York City. Um, she left the industry as well. So she forwarded Jackie's post about her, Jackie, leaving the news. And I thought, oh. But then the story went to, yeah, just going to pastry chef school. And I'm thinking, and I started really diving into her story, and I thought, you know what? I gotta bring her on the pod because it's just it's such a fascinating story when you're you you decide to make a change from something that you studied and love so much, because that's been my journey, right? And I love these stories of the quick switch. Not so quick, but like the total about face, we're changing it up. I gotta do something more in alignment. So um Jackie's gonna take us through that entire story for her. So um let's begin with um, I like to always ask like where you're from, because I really like to know like the backstory. We were on the phone, so I know a little bit of like the the sprinkles of magic in this uh history of Jackie. So uh Jackie, where are you from?

SPEAKER_00 5:32

I grew up in Chicago. I am originally from the Midwest and got to New York from uh for college and ended up staying in New York because I studied accounting and finance and worked in accounting and or in finance before I became a journalist. And you know, New York is the place to be. That's where you know all the buzz was. Um, but my family's Colombian and Mexican, so grew up one of six kids, which is a lot. Um pretty loud household. I like that. It was yeah, it was, you know, thinking about it now. Um, I don't know how my my mom did it. She was a single mom for the majority of my of my upbringing. And, you know, she was born in Chicago, but her parents moved back to Mexico where where they were from, and that's where she grew up. And my father um was an immigrant, you know, he came here with nothing. And um, they really raised me with that mentality. So ending up in New York and now ending up in France feels otherworldly for sure.

SPEAKER_03 6:39

That is nuts. So now you um you when you at what point did you go into journalism? Because I didn't know that you started with finance.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

Oh yeah. I was in it for about four years. Um, and I went into it because, you know, I funded myself through college. And, you know, you're I was raised at least with this mindset that you really have to help your family the minute that you can. And the best way to do that is by getting a good paying job. And finance was was that for me. Um, and I really liked it for a while, but it it, you know, the culture of it was extremely toxic. And, you know, as a young um 20-something woman of color, like I just felt completely out of place. I didn't know how to advocate for myself back then. Um, and when the time came to leave, I looked around me and the people that I admired the most were were journalists. It was around the time of me too, it was the summer of um 20, 2017, that that I left. And when I looked at Megan Tooy and Jodie Cantor's work, I was like, that's what I want to do. I I want to go investigate harm. And, you know, ended up going to grad school, not for journalism, but for for public policy at Columbia, because I thought, you know, maybe I can I can do something good for the world. Maybe I go into government, maybe I go into nonprofit. But in the back of my mind was journalism. Um and then when I started writing for the school paper and doing a bunch of internships in the TV world, first um at CNN, and then later when I got to Bloomberg, um, is where I really got like my news gathering chops and writing chops that I I knew that this was like where I wanted to be.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

That's wild. So it's it's funny because you didn't do like what a normal journalism kid like me would do, where you bop around to different TV stations, you go to your undergrad for journalism, then you bop around and you're constantly moving. And I didn't realize that that is how you got into it. That's that's really, really unique.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

I it it is, but I felt like it um like that was the template that I was told you had to follow. And I was like, I don't got time. Like I'm at the time, I was like 29, maybe, like heading into Bloomberg. And I was like, there's gotta be another way. And um lucky for me, Bloomberg, you know, had a TV station and you know, they did that work, but they also did a lot of writing, they had a magazine, and I got hired to basically cover oil markets, which for me was I was like, you know what? I've spoken to traders, I've worked with the Bloomberg terminal before. I don't need to learn that much from that end. What I really need to learn is how do I get sources? How do I get people to trust me? How do I then convert that into a story? And oil markets, you know, it's not usually like a sexy thing to cover.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

No, I'm like oil markets. I'm like, wow, that that sounds like a smart topic to be the person to cover it.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

It was during the pandemic. I was like, I was and so that's when oil went negative because there was just so much of it. And that's when I saw like the fast moving nature of it, the fact that like all of a sudden, you know, thousands of people read one story because it was just so um earth-shattering that like oil was dropping as low as it was because of this like global pandemic. And so that made it much more dynamic and fun. And you know, like when you when you have a good story and like people are reading it and talking about it, like it just gives you this like energy to want to do more. But I didn't really get into like accountability journalism until much later on. But TV was always like, you know, the place where I wanted to get. Like as, you know, as a kid, I admired the TV journals because they were so accessible to you. I in in Chicago it was WGN news, but it was like that was like what I aspired to be. Um, but I kind of had to like meander my way through Bloomberg because it was like they don't, they don't really have correspondence. They have like anchors and and a lot of the anchors started off as like print journalists. So I was like, you know what, maybe like this is my way in because I'm too old to like go down the local TV route at this point and let's just see if this works out. And thankfully, you know, by raising my hand enough um and saying yes to basically everything, I you know, I got I got those opportunities and did some TV reps and and it felt really good for a while.

SPEAKER_03 11:21

For a while, yeah. Which I I think I would have backtracked here. It's funny because you're like, I just feel like I'm too old to go into TV, like to the local stations and bop around. And I mean a lot, I mean, if if you were to do that, you could still do that. I knew a couple people who did, but I mean, your coworkers are in their 20s, and it's a very different dynamic and a very different feel when you're in a new room of kids that are starting out and you're like kind of already lived a life, and yeah, so I I think I give you a lot of credit for just figuring out, not going by that template, but going by the one that you did go by, and just to kind of figure it out to to get to it. I mean, I like all I did was journalism, like I didn't do like finance and like bopped around like you did. That's really that's a really unique way to get on TV. I've kind of never heard that.

SPEAKER_00 12:19

It was a risk. And I think the the pros of it were like, you know, it worked out, it it allowed me to at least practice news gathering from like, you know, um, like getting something into the news, even if it was in print, like we could then make it a digital story, we could then maybe like package it up into like a social video. Um, and I think for me who had never written something for for like a general audience before, um, I really needed to build out that skill set first. But it was a risk because I remember having broadcast television as my main goal um for like my first year at Bloomberg. And I went back to a mentor at CNN and I was like, how do I do what like you do? And you know, at the time she was a producer, but like she had always worked with um the on-air talent. And I was like, how do I do that? And she was like, Well, you got to get an agent, and you know, that's usually how it works, and that's how we hire. And I there just seemed to be like it felt so gatekeepy and like all these rules that I was like, who says? Like, as long as I can do it, like, why wouldn't you, you know, want to put someone on TV that knows their stuff? I thought it was that simple, but yeah, but yeah, I think, you know, it was um it was not fun being the oldest intern in my, you know, in my class at Bloomberg. And and I really just had to get over it because I came with other skills. I knew how to write an email, I knew how to like speak to my, you know, bosses. Um, but it was very humbling. I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

Yeah, yeah, I I understand the humbling part. We you you get that every once in a while in this in this industry where you just kind of get a little bit of a in your oh oh didn't know that. Okay, let me back up a little bit. Um but yeah, it is it it's weird because you you when you I I've had work with other people who like you wanted to get on TV and hadn't done what I did, like that template that that this is how you do it, and I don't know any other way. So, you know, sometimes there's that, but then it is I don't know, it's it's a very competitive field, as we know. Um and uh it's I I again kudos to you for figuring a way on the screen without having to take that step back. Because I remember being advised a couple of times on my track of getting on TV and staying on TV and bopping around where I was it was suggested to me at one point, well, why don't you just go to like a smaller market and you know and and you're already in New York or or wherever and and you're thinking you get this information and and it does happen, that advice does come sometimes, and you're thinking, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, like I'm you you want me to go back to a smaller market so I can get more anchoring to then come back to be considered maybe an anchor in a big market. And I always thought that was kind of like a slap in the face.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Like no, no, like to your point, like you have somebody here that clearly knows what they're doing. You can't just kind of invest your time and energy into this person, but you're gonna send them back, and there's no guarantee that there's no guarantee that okay, when you're ready, you do your like contract of what three years as an anchor in a smaller market to come back that there's gonna be a spot waiting for you because that doesn't happen. No, I don't know if you ever heard that that kind of um suggestion, but I know I've I've received that before and I thought, whoa, it's like oh, I did that already. Uh uh. No.

SPEAKER_00 15:58

No, and and it's sometimes you feel like you're asking for too much. Like I I kind of had to like really ground myself and be like, am I being unreasonable here? Do I think I'm like too big for my britches? Am I being a diva when I don't even have like a diva position yet? And and I it took me a while to realize like they they are used to, I think they, the TV, you know, broadcast journalism industry, it's used to operating in a certain way and has not been quick to evolve with the times. Like, and funny you mentioned that.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

Lady, all right. So speaking of getting the last laugh, so you're at Bloomberg, and um you don't stay there. What exactly? And you can go wherever you want to go. Like, what happened?

SPEAKER_00 16:47

You know, I I was doing a lot. I was writing for the tech team. Um and you know, at the time it was like startups and venture capital, and there was no shortage of like startups imploding between 2021 and 2025, you know, to write about. Um but when AI came into the picture, I really had to like become an AI reporter. And that was interesting for a time because it's the thing everyone's talking about. People are gonna read your stories, and there's nothing more demoralizing as a journalist than when you write a really interesting, well-reported story and no one reads it. But it was also the thing that was getting me on TV. Um, they needed a lot of expertise in that realm that was evolving like every day. And I kind of used it as my conduit for getting as many TV hits as I could. Um, but it was time consuming because I'm not paid as a TV reporter. I was not, that was not my job role. I was kind of being borrowed by the TV folks who were amazing. Like, I, you know, I give a lot of credit to my producer on um on that show because I think she really believed in me. Uh the entire team on that show really believed in me. Um, even when I was like, now that I look back at some of my TV hits, I mean, it was so cringe, but they gave me the opportunities. And like, it takes guts to like, you know, keep doing it after you mess up a couple times. But it was like that. Um, the more hits that I got, the more opportunities I got to, you know, go into the field and like go to these conferences and do hits from there. And um all of a sudden I had a, you know, we got a show about just AI and it went for two seasons. And it was more of a talk show. So it wasn't really, you know, my my style. I'm a hardcore reporter. I want to report something that has not been, you know, reported before. And the the show was more like, let's have an open-ended conversation. And for someone that like got into this for a very specific purpose, which is investigate, um, it got old, you know, pretty quickly. And I was like, you know what, good experience, let's move ahead. And that's when I got to a really juicy story, an investigation into a fertility company. Um, and then generally the fertility industry. And that started in 2023. Now keep in mind I'm still doing my tech reporter job. So I'm writing stories about like chatbots and VC and startups. I'm also doing TV. And then I'm doing this investigation, which is like not even in my realm of coverage because fertility is a health topic. You know, I'm not a health reporter. Um, but no one else is doing it.

SPEAKER_03 19:37

Is this something that you pitched yourself?

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Yes. So I was getting spammed a lot by fertility companies because, you know, lo and behold, I'm 31 at that point. And they were like, Do you want to freeze your eggs? Do you need IVF? Oh my gosh, no. You know, when you're being bombarded by ads, you're like, something's going on here. And whatever has like something to do with like tech or with uh with health and social media, I'm like, something just smells fishy. So I just made a couple calls and almost instantly, like people were giving me tips about what was wrong with this company, how they were losing embryos and you know, they were mishandling, you know, other genetic material. Um, patients started reaching out, and I was like, there's a lot more to be written here. Um, but like I said, it was not my beat. And the team at the time that was um, you know, in charge of the health beat, like they read did not like the fact that I was veering into their realm and they weren't reporting on it. So I, you know, I kind of had to go toe-to-toe with them a bit, you know, because I was like, this isn't about being turfy, like it's not about ego.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

There's a story clearly out there that needs to be told. Like I just happen to grab it.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

Let's like, and you know, I was like, let's work together. And you know, many people don't like if you're a reader, you don't really um see the drama that goes on behind the, you know, in the newsroom, which is like the the egos and the personalities that like refuse to work with others. And because I, you know, I was a more junior reporter, um, you know, the health reporter did not, you know, take kindly to me. And I worked hard to be as like accommodating and like, oh, like here, let's share notes. And it got to a point where um it was draining me. And I actually said to my editor, like, she can have if she wants it, she can have it. If she really has the goods, she's gonna finish the story. And three months went by and she never did anything with it. And my boss came back to me and said, We have a responsibility to see how far the story goes. And it took me like six months to re report it because by that point, you know, you know, your reporting is stale. Um, but I uncovered way more than I. Ever bargained for. I mean, heartbreaking stories of, you know, people's ability to have children being compromised by some of the wrongdoing at the hands of this company. And it was like, you know, they, the company itself, once we started um, you know, getting closer to the published state, you know, threatening to sue and Jackie's a liar and like all this stuff that I had never really experienced before, but because I had never really done as tough of a story as that. And so I'm doing this story alongside like all the other the TV, the regular, you know, everyday reporting, and and it was a lot, but I think that investigation fed this desire to really make a difference in this field. And one story opened, you know, when we published it in October of 2023, it opened the floodgates to like way more than we ever envisioned. And I published, I think, three or four more stories. And then the next big one in 2024 was about a billionaire that was making babies with I with the help of IVF clinics by himself while he was in jail. And like it had all the elements of like, what? How does this happen? But that's when I really cracked open the broader industry story that was the fertility industry is really unregulated.

SPEAKER_03 23:24

And it was So wait, wait, wait, back to this billionaire. So I don't, yeah, my listeners are not gonna care. So this guy was basically giving him his swimmers out and then to these clinics.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

No, he was like paying, he would, he had basically created an entire network of dozens of women that he paid to be uh egg donors and surrogates. Many of them did not realize that they were being lied to about what was going to happen to these children. Um he was not married at that point. Um, for some of the egg donors, he told them, like, you know, this is going to be our child. I'm going to help you. He paid some women upwards of like a million dollars to donate their eggs. Um, it was very deceptive. Um, and, you know, that for the surrogates, like, you know, it was again of transaction. And the reason that could happen, like, is because there's no laws that require the screening of a potential parent. And so these IVF clinics knew that this man was doing this at some point while he was in jail. And these children were then going to live with nannies and his assistants. And there were so many ethical lapses that the fertility clinics um fell into, but like knowingly, they deliberately helped him. They knew it was wrong. I managed to track down um a doctor who had actually declined to help him once she learned about what was happening. And he was pretty open about this. It's not like he was hiding the fact that he had multiple surrogates going on at the same time. He wanted four women pregnant at the same time. I mean, it was wild. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

Uh oh um where are these kids now? Do we know? I mean, yeah, here I am asking all these like I know.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

I know.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

Debbie, do you know where these kids are?

SPEAKER_00 25:30

Like some of them are living with he's in jail right now. He's waiting to be sentenced, um, which could be upwards of 30 years. Right now, they are with his assistants um and like security guards that have worked with him for many years. Another, like, I think he has, and I just I'm going to misremember, but I think there's nine or ten kids, um, and then half of them are with like an old girlfriend. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:01

What? Okay, like, yeah. So that's where can people hear read the more of this? Because I didn't think we were gonna talk about this here.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

I um I did a whole podcast on it. So after I published, after I published that story, I got approached by um our podcast team and they were like, we want to do an investigative five-part series just about this reporting. And so I basically put that together and it published last September. Okay. Um, it's called IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story. And the last episode is all about this guy's what he called the baby project. Oh, I know, I know it's harrowing.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

Um, Jackie, first of all, kudos to you for uncovering this.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

Thank you. But it was, you know, thank you. It's it's you know, when you when you trip up on something and it's like you're getting all the wrong signals from the newsroom because they were like, we don't do fertility stories. We like we we it's it's Bloomberg. Like they care about finance stories. And the fact that like I was able to like find a billionaire in there is the only reason I think I was able to publish that. Um, with my with my co-reporter, which by the way, like after having such a bad experience with the with another reporter in the newsroom who was much more territorial, my reporting partner, um, Sophie for the billionaire story, that was like, I think that showed me, you know, this industry works when like we work together. You cannot do this by yourself.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

No, no, no. The fact that you had a reporting partner, I mean, I don't in local news, we don't always have that. Like you pass it off to somebody. Sometimes, like, you kind of flood the zone and you're with other people, but uh on your on your team. But what what what infuriates me is that this isn't just like a singular situation. Like I I clearly remember other situations in newsrooms I've been in where there is that that either a gatekeeping of a story or oh, it's big, but we're not gonna do it because it doesn't go in alignment with what the show wants. And it's just like, and we wonder why. The news is the way it is and where it's gone, and we wonder why. And I just have to remember that to be a little bit critical of the news that sometimes I am. I just it doesn't matter, it wasn't a complete finance story. This is a great story, regardless.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

Yes, and before I I I I actually have a couple thoughts on that, but before I get to that, I'm gonna turn on the lights because it's getting dark. Oh, that's right, because you're in France. Not to in a mountain town, not you know, not to rub it in.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

Yeah, yeah, that's okay. I'm staring at a con Edison of my of my uh my window right now, and I think there's a storage containing unit kind of big building, and then every now and again I'll see, you know, um flights getting uh departing from LaGuardia.

SPEAKER_04 29:08

So you're like I see nice little waterfalls.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

What do you see? From my mountainside perch over here.

SPEAKER_03 29:15

Um the little bobays and the winding roads to the little chateau town. Okay. Literally. Thanks, Jackie.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

Literally. Um, no, but what what you just said is exactly it because this kind of gets to why I eventually left. I think as I'm doing this reporting and like my two other jobs on the side, you know, uh this this investigation was considered like a side project. My bosses were supportive in that they allowed me to work on it, but it's not like they opened, you know, the time for me to do it. It's not like they took away responsibilities. I think when I started showing signs of like real burnout or getting sick, they they would pull it back, but it was like spot treating, not really saying, here, you know, take the time to really report this out. And, you know, I I think that's because of all the structural issues you just mentioned. The priority in the newsroom is to break news and investigations take a long time. And if and if, you know, in this climate where everyone is getting sued left and right, which I was sued and it was dismissed, but you're scared. It was, it's, you know, the newsroom council is like, you know, asking you about every single detail, and they're trying to make sure your story is like bulletproof, which is good, but like you can only have a bulletproof story if you spend all of your time on it. And it it really drained me because it's heavy material. Um, you know, I was really kind of drained by the resistance that I was getting, you know, the the signals from the newsroom, which is like nice little project, you know, tap on the back, but you know, they they're not promoting it, you know, as much.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

And it's a this is a deep story. And the fact that, like, yes, investigations take a long time. And the problem with I don't say the problem, the the challenge with the investigations is now they need you for something else. They're gonna take you and move you to that something else, and you can't put all the time and concentration in that investigation. But sometimes a situation like this with an investigation that you've done requires you to stay on that investigation. I just wish that they could have taken the blinders off and saw the bigger picture than just this, like, okay, a little nice side project, but we need you for this and this and this and this and this. No. Yeah, no, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

Yeah, and and there were times that, you know, I think my editors were were trying their best, but that's when I realized like this won't change. It doesn't matter how much you care about me as a reporter, your powers only go so far. And um just to, you know, make a long story short, at this point, I I really got fed up by, you know, by the end of doing the podcast last summer, I had given everything that I possibly could. Um, I started winding back my time on TV after co-anchoring the show, which is like kind of like reaching, at least for me, like the pinnacle. Like this is what I wanted to do. I wanted to be doing this, you know, day in, day out, daily news, every day on TV. And I got the chance to do that and I realized, oh my God, like I have hives. I do not feel like embodied in this. I don't feel good. And it was like like actual physical signs before I think it hit my brain. Um, but I started winding it back and I did a couple hits, you know, every week, and then it became like every month. And then I think by July, I started saying no. And by, you know, by August, I knew I had to leave. I just didn't know how or what else I was gonna do. Um, and shit for me really hit the fan when, you know, my bosses decided to protect a problematic editor who was making my life completely impossible. I mean, like belittling behavior, condescending, duplicitous, like the added layer of like working with someone that's difficult when you're already kind of struggling, juggling it all. Um, was like, and it was like the easiest thing for them to do. Like they could have just said this was wrong. And they said this was wrong, but you just gotta put up with it. Just put up with it for a couple more weeks. And I was like, we we don't, you know, we investigate companies that do this kind of thing. And here you are defending bad behavior and telling me that, like, you know, it's gonna be over soon, but that person gets no consequences. And it just was like the trust was so broken that I realized, like, how can I possibly ever go to a source and say, you know, we you can trust us with your with your story, because I don't trust the person that I, you know, have to that take that story to, which is my editor, my bosses. And when that link is broken, um, there's just no going back. And, you know, at the end of the day, it was like some like petty newsroom drama. No, it was, I think, the buildup of three, four years of trying to make this work. Um, and I think compromising my what my gut was telling me because I was so grateful to have this job to begin with. I was like, people would kill for this opportunity.

SPEAKER_03 34:52

Yep. No, it's it's tough when things are out of whack, right? Like I know for me too, it was something wasn't lining up. It just it was a little off track, you know. And you're like, no, no, no, no. I I like you, like I I work so hard. And but you know, you mentioned the health thing, and and on the phone I told you this that it was I had two health things happen to me. One in I think it was August of 2023, right? Be as I was at Fox Five and my contract was coming up, and I was at a wedding, and um, I remember I had a cup of coffee that morning before the wedding, and my stomach just had this like twit twisted, and it felt like the worst feeling was going in waves, like this this like crunch, and it was almost like I was doing a crunch. It was awful. And I ended up going to the hospital. Of course, I was with my mother-in-law who thought I was pregnant, and she was elated, and I was like, No, no, it's something else. It's something else. But she was like, but what if it is? And I go, it's not, and I had to drink this liquid, and the doctor came in and he was like, we can't find anything. And that had to have been stressed because at that time I was out of alignment at Fox Five, and I'm like, I don't think I could do this anymore. And they wanted to renew me, which was great, but the amount of money they were renewing me at was like, that was it. I was like, I'm doing like you, all of these things, and I'm not getting paid a decent salary for all of things. I was anchoring, I was filling and anchoring. I was reporting and a meteorologist. And I was making, I will, and I don't mind sharing this, I was making for doing all those three things $136,500. And they wanted to renew me for finally, I think it was like a 2% increase. I would finally make $140,000. Now, listen, is that decent money? Sure, but I live in New York City. Is that you?

SPEAKER_00 36:51

You know your worth. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 36:52

I know my worth. And the and there were other people with me who hadn't been there as long, were already making $140. Now, the people who are in the industry for 30 years, they earned what they make. That they make a lot more money. But I was thinking, what? So I ended up doing a market valuation. I think that's what you call it. My CFO cousin helped me. And she was going through, like, you know all the numbers. I am not a numbers person, numbers and I fight, but she was going through all the numbers. And she said, Really, what you should be making is anywhere from 180 to 200. But 200 and 205 is kind of really your sweet spot because you have so many years of experience and that. So I go and I remember countering, and then they were like, yeah, now 140. And I was just like, to to which end? Right. So that was that all happened, right? So then took us a couple beats and then ended up at Channel 7 Eyewitness News, which was awesome in the beginning, you know, December 2023, a couple, you know, couple months or whatever after. So I thought, okay, so I was freelanced there. And yet again, I'm I'm doing good. 2024 comes rolling around, then 2025. And this is another health thing. It was January 2025, and I was in the live truck, and it was a very cold day that day, and it was really warm in the live truck, and you're going in and out, in and out. I was reporting on an I think somebody it was it was a murder. And I I I remember my cameraman and I were on our way, we were done for the day, we you know, and we drove away from the location, and he's talking to me. Now I'm sitting down and I don't even know what he was talking about. And all of a sudden, I started seeing I just everything was getting spotty. And I started going tunnel vision, and I was like, whoa, what the and I grabbed Trail Mix and I started eating it and I drank some water and I didn't say anything right away. Then we go to get gas and I turn to him, I go, Steve, I have something to tell you, but I don't want you to get alarmed. I think I almost passed out sitting up. And he was like, Do we need to go to the hospital? Do we need to go to urgent care? I was like, please don't make a big deal of it, whatever. Well, long story short, I go to the hospital because I'm like, well, something wasn't right. They thought I had like a T I A, which is like a minor stroke. Oh my God. What? Right? So I go to the neurologist and they're doing these tests on me, and I'm thinking, this is another sign. Like, you know, your health starts, wasn't a stroke. Thank God. I had low iron. Low iron. Thank God, praise the Lord. But my point in all of this is I was ignoring, ignoring, ignoring the stress, the what am I doing? I'm working all these crazy hours, getting up at 1:30 a.m., going to bed at seven. A workhorse.

SPEAKER_00 39:33

A workhorse. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_03 39:35

So then you start thinking like, what? And then you start feeling it that things weren't lining up, they're not okay, things aren't right. So you get to a point where like, I gotta make some kind of change, and that is where you are, or at that point in your story, yes.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

So I, you know, for me, it was an um the beginnings of an ulcer. And I still deal with it now because like I can't eat certain things. Like, I come from a Latino family. I love spicy food. I can't eat spicy food in the same way. Like, as soon as that hit, I think I quit like a week after. Like I like that hit. I was like, no, like this is my body, my well-being. Like, hell no, this is not worth, you know, the the cost, the physical, the emotional cost, like you can put up with it. I don't know if, like, you know, um, I don't know if men do it in the same way, but my my partner, my sorry, my fiance now. Oh, it's this uh how new? How new in August. So it's been a while, but I'm still getting used to calling him my fiance.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

Yeah, yeah, that's weird. Yeah, I get that.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

Um, but he's the one that was like, you're not yourself. And I think he knew me from, you know, he saw me when I was like trying to be a reporter, then I was like a baby reporter. And then like now, you know, and it was only five years in the scheme of things. Like, journalists do this for decades. And I think for me, it was like, if I hadn't been the age that I was when I came into this, I think I would have been able to put up with a lot more. But I think there's maturity that comes with having, you know, a prior career. And I, and in that career, I put my foot down and was like, I'm not gonna be treated this way by a creepy portfolio manager. And like, you know, like this was like a different version of, you know, using my voice. And I think that's what journalism gave me is I knew I had, you know, the power of the pen. And and I found my voice, not just with reporting, but with like using it with the people in the newsroom that were not doing right by me. And I think once I kind of felt like I had done what I could, it was time to go. And the reason I chose pastry school is because, you know, I, you know, I've been the baker of the family for is for as long as I can remember. My grandmother, um, her father, my great-grandfather, had a bakery. I mean, back in Mexico, he he did it like the old school way, and she grew up helping him and she taught me everything she knew. And, you know, and on top of that, my my father's a pastry chef, but I never really thought about him in that way because in the, you know, when I see pastry chefs now, it's like the hat and the you know, the the outfit and everything. And I just kind of remember um, you know, his his Hispanic bakery. You know, I didn't really associate it with like the art that pastry really is. And I didn't appreciate it. You know, I, you know, grew up in a family that like didn't really place a lot of importance in in choosing a trade. Um, they just wanted me to go to college so badly and you know, have like an office job because that to them was going to be like, you know, the thing that brings you success and stability. Um, but it was always in the back of my head, always like, oh, when I'm older, oh, when I retire. And it only took one therapy session. Um I was en route to an a journalism conference of all things. And I was like, I just I hope this is gonna give me some inspiration. And I really hope I'm like, I come out of this more motivated. I'm really feeling at a low. And she was like, Well, if you weren't doing journalism and if you had one year to live, what would you do? And like without hesitating, without thinking, I was like, I would open a bakery. And even she was surprised because she was like, You've never mentioned this before. And I was like, Because it's so unrealistic, it's so crazy. And I sat with it the entire weekend. I'm in and out of sessions, like learning, like, you know, and this is how you do war reporting, and this is how you investigate like the CDC and like, you know, like all that.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

And meanwhile, you're thinking of croissants.

SPEAKER_00 43:52

Yes, I was having, I literally took an intro call with the pastry school that I ended up going to. E cole Ducasse, um like in between sessions. And I was like, this is gonna go nowhere. This is not gonna go anywhere. And I went to dinner with a bunch of like Bloomberg journalists, CNN, um, the Washington Post, like all, like we're all there. And everyone was like miserable. I mean, I actually remember the the feeling was like everyone was like networking with each other to try and leave.

SPEAKER_04 44:22

And it was just like, this is everybody still does that. Everybody still does that.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

Like, you want to be surrounded by people who love what they do. And I was like, something's wrong here. Like, we can't all be miserable. And I think, you know, I started voicing it, making it like, you know, voicing it out loud really changes things. Um, I was within like, I was within like a trusted group of reporters, and and some of them were new faces that I had no idea, like, you know, if we'd ever be friends. Um, a bunch of CNN folks who ended up really being like super kind. And and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna quit and I'm gonna go start a bakery.

SPEAKER_04 44:57

And everyone's like, yeah, like you can do it. Right? Is that fun? You get that like, yeah, you know, you're like, you're the first one like blazing the trail, like, I'm doing it. Everybody's like, we're gonna watch you maybe follow one day, but we're really not sure.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

Exactly. And this was like, this was June of last year. So it like still half no pun intended, but it was a half-baked idea. Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

That's good too.

SPEAKER_00 45:19

I yeah, I I pulled the trigger in September and and everyone was like, holy shit, she actually did it. But yeah, that was that.

SPEAKER_04 45:31

Just that was that. Um, okay.

SPEAKER_03 45:35

Now on the phone you were saying that, and I thought this was interesting, that you were like, you know, I could get in early or I could have waited. Because you could have got you, so when you you got into your pastry school, it was the fall, or it could have been early 2026, right?

SPEAKER_00 45:56

Yes. They were they were trying to fill their October class. And at this point, I was like, I need to pack up my New York City apartment. I need to find someone to take over the lease. I need to, I just got engaged. I need like it seemed so unfathomable to have like a couple of weeks to really figure this out logistically. I need to get a visa. And they were like, we can help you with the visa, like we can expedite it. Um, all you need to do is like decide whether you want to do it in October or January. And I knew that if I waited another second, I would change my mind. I would somehow convince myself that I just needed a sabbatical, that I just needed like a some, you know, I was just too burned out, that I would like stuff the voice.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 46:43

You know, that was telling me, no, Jackie, there's something deeper going on here. I would stuff it way down like I had been for years. And and pulling the trigger was the, I don't know, it was like the scariest, but also the like the most um, it was like letting a good deep breath out, you know, and exhale, you know, a deep, deep exhale. And, you know, my I I'm not gonna lie, I it felt really um validating when my told my bosses and you know, my executive editor tried to get me to stay. He offered me more money, he told me what a great reporter I was. It was all the things that I had wanted like to hear. Um, you know, they make a lot of promises when they're trying to keep a reporter, but it just, you know, made me realize like, you you could have done this before. You know what you did was messed up. Like you made the wrong decision. And after, you know, I after I quit and more people started like talking inside the newsroom, I got so many phone calls from like some reporters that I never had spoken to, but had admired and respected, and was always like, you know, too chicken shit to like go up and like ask them about what they thought about this or that. And and they just expressed such admiration for me. And I was like, you know, it's all the validation that you think you need. And I realized like feels nice, and it just kind of like came off. And I realized like that's not, I don't want that validation anymore. I don't need it. I I need to like do what's right for me. I need I need to be the one that is like validating myself, if that makes sense. Um but it was um there were some moments where I felt like, did I just make the biggest mistake of my life? This is what I've been working toward. I'm 34, you know, I'm throwing away a career that I was good at, that people respect respected me for, um, that was doing something good, like in the public service. And, you know, you put you put a lot of responsibility on yourself as a journalist, like I have to do this, it's for the greater good. But the ultimate good is taking care of yourself, you know? It's not my that that's it.

SPEAKER_03 49:03

No, because you know, you want to be able to at the end of the day, were you showing up for yourself a hundred percent or not? No. And you realize that, and then there is so much more that you can give in your life when you are in alignment with your decision, your choice, the reason and your why, and to waking up and going to bed every night. And the fact, and I told you this on the phone, the fact that you made this decision to go from journalism to pastry chefing, if that's what it's called, chefing, whatever I'm making up words, it doesn't matter. It is now. It is now. Um, and I told you you can your your uh your little pastry cafe could be called baking news. A homage to the news if you should. But you know, and and you can wrap the little pastries in newspaper, maybe even Bloomberg reports. I'm just saying, all that to be said, you know, throw them in the trash, just to blender. I'm just kidding. That's where they go every day. Um, we can recycle, then it'll be fine. It'll, you know, give back to Mother Earth. Um, but I was just so it's so cool what you're doing because you literally are taking from going from one extreme to the next, whatever, but you're following your heart, your gut. And I even said this kind of like your ancestral roots, because I think what's really interesting because you have this immigrant story, which I love immigrant stories. I mean, I'm an immigrant story, but that's like a couple generations ago, so I'm like diluted. So I'm like more an American story, but like you have this story where your your family were doing a trade, and then you get to go to college and get opportunity that they didn't get, but here you are going back to the roots of where your family came from, and there is so much to be said for that. Like going back to where you're from from nothing. I know there's no there's no price that could be placed on that.

SPEAKER_00 51:04

It's a windy way to get here, but I have uh an infinite amount of appreciation for it now because you know it it it takes a lot of guts to then figure out what am I gonna do with this. And I realized like they had to do this with negative amount of money. Like they at least I have savings. At least I, you know, I've if it wasn't for my finance job, I never would have been able to go into journalism. I used to wake way more money as a, you know, as an analyst. I'm kidding. Yeah, and then make like a fraction of that in journalism. Um, and and it it was never about the money, but now I've now it's really not about the money because I'm making nothing. And I think seeing how they were able to build a business, you know, with their bare hands, like that's what it was all about what they could do with the skills that had been passed on to them. It's passed down to me. And and I, you know, I downplayed what that meant to me for so long because of the external, you know, um validation that you get for from degrees and the accolades and the optics, what it looks like, the conversations at parties, at events, what do you do?

SPEAKER_03 52:27

This is what I do.

SPEAKER_00 52:28

And you know, trying to make your parents proud with the vision of what they think is a good life. Um it's it it makes me sad because I wish they knew that their life was also a pretty good one too, like to aspire to. And I, you know, my grandmother is not here anymore, but I think she'd be really proud. And I feel her all the time with me because, you know, she uh she she was the one that encouraged me to go to New York and you know, like really get myself out there. I was the first of my family to to leave Chicago. It was a big deal to like leave the confines of like there's a huge like Hispanic community, you know, you could recognize yourself and you know, in in the neighborhood, and it just felt like safe. And she she gave me everything that I needed to to do what I'm doing now. Um but it's I don't know, um it was kind of a circuitous way of of getting here. Um but I have doubts sometimes about like geez, like how do you start a business? How am I gonna pay for this? All right, let's do the math. Like, there's real logistics that go into this. It's not just like, you know, I I don't want to romanticize what what it means to leave the safety of a of a job that like you're good at, and you know, maybe not everything's perfect, but maybe I could have stuck it out. I I have those thoughts, but they're much more fleeting these days. Um but if anyone out there is is really considering, you know, chasing a dream, many people don't even know what it is, but if you know what it is, you don't have to have everything in front of you all at once. The plan sometimes like unfolds as you go. Like I'm in school and I now have to go do an apprenticeship. And after that, you know, I want to open a storefront, hopefully in the States and you know, in Connecticut to start.

SPEAKER_03 54:38

Um because that's where your family is now, Connecticut or is that where?

SPEAKER_00 54:41

Connecticut is where my where my fiance is now.

SPEAKER_03 54:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 54:45

Um, but like, do I have a storefront yet? No. Do I how can I go see some spaces when I'm not there? There's a lot of things that like it's not gonna look like a neat plan, and you don't have to wait for the neat plan in order to make the leap. Because then if if that's what you're waiting for, it's you're never gonna do it. It's never gonna come.

SPEAKER_03 55:05

Oh, absolutely not. Absolutely not. And and it the fact that you're leading with your heart on all of this, I s I think says enough. Now we're gonna play a little game. Let's say I want you to go back to that table with all the journalists at Bloomberg and CNN, return to that place, but as you are now, and you're all in a circle talking about what you're doing and where you're at in your life, and somebody looks at you and they ask you, Are you happy?

SPEAKER_00 55:38

Infinitely happy. Even on my worst days, which you can go on my social media and see my worst days um in pastry school. They're bad.

SPEAKER_03 55:49

I saw I did I did see a video where you're trying to balance, like, I don't even know, tower of some kind of pastry thing. And it it was it looks grueling, but it's not easy.

SPEAKER_00 56:02

I don't think it's supposed to feel like you know, a walk in the park. It's not epre love, it's it's hard work, it's hard like physical work. And I am so freaking happy because I know I know I'm like my most authentic self. I never knew who that was until I did this.

SPEAKER_02 56:24

Oh wow, yes, yes, yes, and I'm clapping. Yes, yes, yeah, I feel you, girl.

SPEAKER_03 56:37

I feel you, girl. Wow. We're gonna end it there. I I I just I just think you're just I just I love this story. I love the fact that you just did it and that you're again just you're reconnecting with who you really are. And somebody once told me when I left news, she said, This is when you're going to meet yourself.

SPEAKER_00 57:09

Isn't that something? Right. I mean, this if that's the takeaway from this career, um, it was really meant to be. Like it was, I don't think I would have gotten my voice, you know, to stand up for myself. And and if that hadn't happened, I don't think I would have been able to hear the voice that was in me all along that was like giving me hints this whole time. And you know, it's um, I don't want to discourage future journalists from going into it, but go in with eyes wide open. And and at the moment that like something shifts in you, listen to it. Like it's we we're allowed to have so many iterations of ourselves, and life is never just like one chapter, right? Like what you're doing is amazing, like bringing all these different voices together. It it takes, you know, it takes real skill to do what you do, Reagan.

SPEAKER_03 58:05

Like it's not easy when you were talking about like the money and how to figure this out and like the all the days and they're long. And you we before we got on this pod, I was talking to you about this like editing disaster I just had to deal with. But at the end of the day, like what you're doing and you believe in it, and there's a quote I have, I'm gonna mess up this quote. I'm trying to look for it on my Instagram, but it's something about imagine how hard you can work on your deadline when you have been working on everybody else's.

SPEAKER_00 58:36

Right? Yeah, yeah. That applies to so many things in life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:42

So yeah, but I I feel you on that, on that journey. Yeah, and to the journalism kids, if you even if you're wa listening this, watching this, listen. What Jackie says is correct. You know, listen to your gut, follow that. But the biggest thing I think is, and she did it, speak up. Use your words because that is where you're gonna get your strength. And it's not gonna feel comfortable in the beginning, it's gonna take some practice. But I always say pilot, my husband, who is a pilot, who doesn't ever want to I mean, at this point, I'm just gonna change his name. It's pilot. But he said, he always said to me, use your words. No one's gonna speak up for you, but you and it took me a while. But Jackie, it sounds like you knew how to do it sooner than I. So kudos. We all got there. So thanks, Ray. All right, well, what a sweet story, my friend. So, okay, so before I let you go, uh, what's the so what's the rest of the plan here? So you're in a mountaintop chateau in France. So where where are we going next?

SPEAKER_00 59:47

We're going to Rouen, which is uh a little town by Normandy, kind of on the other end of the country. And I'm gonna be there for about two and a half months working at a boulangerie there, um, with uh with a chef that has been literally crowned like one of the best. I think they they call them the best of you know France, and then they for a certain year, and I think um his specialty is is just boulangerie, which is red, and you know, vietnamserie, which is like croissants and anything to do with like laminated dough. Like he's the pro, so I'm gonna be learning from him um for two and a half months, and then and then maybe travel around for a little bit before heading back to the States. Um, but I'm already scoping out some spots for Connecticut, so it's it the business is gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:43

Oh yeah. Now listen, you're gonna have that business. We're gonna bring it back onto the podcast. Maybe at that point I'll be able to travel with my podcast and do the podcast at your bakery. Oh. Oh. Magnifique. With my limited French that I know. Limited. Perfect. All right. And I know it's um, it's nighttime for you. And um, I would have to say bonsoir. Bonsoir. Okay, so I'll let you go, but uh, this was this was just so beautiful, this story. I know it had its ups and downs, but what a great life. What a great life. Really.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:29

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:30

Thank you for being here. Okay, I'll see you later. Bye, Ray. Bye, friends.