Hypocrisy! (03)

🎙️EPISODE 3: Let’s Talk About Hypocrisy
From parenting contradictions to performative social media posts, we’re diving deep into the messy topic of hypocrisy—and how it shows up in all of us.
In this episode:
How to spot your own hypocrisy (with compassion)
The problem with “do as I say, not as I do”
Social media, cancel culture & double standards
Where judgment ends and growth begins
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Timestamps

 Intro

00:00 - Intro
00:45 - Embarrassing Moments
07:00 - Definition of Hypocrisy
11:45 - Hypocrisy for parents and screen time
15:48 - Cancel Culture
39:20 - Critical Thinking
47:32 - Soapbox Drop
55:45 - Dance Out

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What’s a time you realized you were being hypocritical? Drop a comment or DM us.
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Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:00.632)

The Sibling Soapbox Podcast!

Speaker 2 (00:13.678)

Hey, what's up everyone? Welcome to the Sibling Soapbox podcast. I'm Tristan Venture here with my sister. And today on the Sibling Soapbox podcast, we're talking about hypocrisy. a big one. And yes, I'm sure a lot of you have experienced hypocrisy or maybe been a hypocrite yourself.

Hey, I'm Heather Evans.

Speaker 1 (00:36.878)

Yes, but before we dive into that, my dear brother, I wanted to ask you a question this morning. Do you have an embarrassing moment from life that you want to share? We want to just get into a little fun for a

embarrassing moment from my life? I mean, I have a story that okay, okay, I'll share one. I have an embarrassing moment. geez. Basically, I was in high school and I was going on a first date with a girl and I went over to her house and first time meeting her parents and I drove over and I was going to pick her up to go on a date or go into the movies or something and I got out of my car, I walked through the front yard.

nice lawn yard and went inside, you know, met the parents and the girl that I was picking up for the date, she was getting ready. So I just went in and I sat on the couch and you know, just young man trying to be proper and impress the parents and you know, just talk to them briefly and they were kind of busy doing their own thing as well. And I sat down on the couch and I kind of noticed a smell and I'm like, God, the house kind of smells like shit.

kind of stinks like, oh, geez, you know, it was a nice house. But I'm like, oh, it kind of stinks in here. I don't want to say anything, you know, trying to impress these parents first time meeting them. And then I just kind of relaxed, kicked back and I, you know, fold my leg and put it up. And I was wearing my new white shoes that I had purchased because, you know, going on this date, trying to look nice. And I looked down at my shoe and see on the bottom of my shoes, a huge thing of dog shit.

on my shoe. And I'm like, okay. And I slowly just lower my shoe and hope that no one else sees it or notices and just kind of, you know, go to the heel of my foot. And that, and the girl finally comes out and we're like, okay, we're going to go now. And I just had to do one of these where I was like, okay, well, nice to meet you. And I kind of got up and did the little, the heel walk where I was like,

Speaker 2 (02:45.934)

you know, try not to look obvious at the shit on the front of my foot as you walk out like, yes, nice to meet you, Mr. Mrs. Rogers. Walk out, finally get out to the front lawn and like do the drag of the foot thing, trying to get the shit off my shoe. And she's like, what's wrong? What's going on? I'm like, I stepped in shit and I didn't want to say anything. She's like, oh my God. Anyway, it was very embarrassing. One of those situations where it was like,

Did that really happen? Did that really happen? Unbelievable. Unbelievable. What about you, Heather? An embarrassing moment.

The question is, did you get a second date?

no, I think we just maintained friends at that point after that date. Yeah.

Yeah, she was like, smell like poop!

Speaker 2 (03:32.054)

Yeah, I was so embarrassed and so worried about getting it on their carpet as I was trying to walk out of the house. And it was like, not a little bit. I mean, this was a big dog that obviously had, you know, taken a shit in their lawn. And I just happened to walk. And that's why kids always walk on the sidewalks or the walkways. Don't walk through the lawn. Take that shortcut. Not a good idea. Might step and poop in the middle of the night when it's dark out anyway.

And pet owners, clean up after your dogs, please, when you take them on a walk. It's still my pet.

Right, if you're out there walking your dog, I want you to clean up after your dog.

Yeah, no, it's a huge issue in our neighborhood. It is. have signs. We used to have a sign on our lawn that said, please clean up after your dog. Like I walk our dog and I always clean up. I never understand how the dogs are just like left to roam and do their thing and you don't clean it up.

yeah, and unfortunately I have seen people walk their dogs in front of our house and let their dogs shit on our lawn and walk away and don't clean it up. And a few times I have yelled out the window and yes. my God. control myself.

Speaker 1 (04:37.742)

Did the same my god, we are related I did the same thing

Speaker 1 (04:44.898)

Get your dog off my line.

Exactly! Same thing! can use your megaphone to yell at them. Much better!

I did this!

Speaker 1 (04:56.748)

Yeah, that's great.

What about you Heather? What's an embarrassing moment or story that you would want to cancel out from your past?

It must be those high school years. Okay, I think you were present at this moment, but correct me if I'm wrong. I would have been a sophomore in high school and we were at our sister's graduation, high school graduation. So it was in a big stadium with stairs, right? And we were up towards.

the top here. I was all cute. I was wearing like my short skirt and my sandals with the little heel on them. And I'm like, I am so cute. And I was going to walk down, I don't know, go to somewhere. And everyone was sitting already waiting for the graduation to start. And I mean, I was going to the restroom and I started walking down the steps. only did I fall down the steps in front of everyone, but I fell and like spread, eagled with a skirt.

Yeah, yeah. And it was the most humiliating, horrible thing. And people are like, are you okay? And imagine being like a saw, like my daughter's age and the humiliation and embarrassment. was like, yeah, yeah, that was a bad one. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:14.442)

My goodness, that is hilarious and embarrassing for sure. Wow. And it's those moments, you know, in life when things happen and yeah, you can't, you can't erase them, but you just try to move on and hope that no one else saw or maybe, know, if it's that bad, just try to forget about it.

Yeah, one of those moments in life when you wish you could have canceled it.

Yes, no kidding. my goodness. Well, moving on to today's fun topic, hypocrisy, which I just want to start off, you know, just kind of reading a definition here because I think a lot of people have different concepts of what hypocrisy means. And in our modern times, you know, we tend to redefine things in order to fit our own belief systems and narratives. So just to kind of set a neutral ground here to present the definition of hypocrisy, it's the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs.

to which one's own behavior does not conform. Pretence. I think in other words, you know, just saying something and doing something that are different or having a belief that is one thing and then supporting a belief that's completely opposite or your actions are opposite of that, you know, belief or whatever it is you're preaching or, you know, your prerogative is about a particular issue. And I think, you know, we've just seen this a lot in recent times, especially with all the

divisiveness that's occurred in our country and different social issues, especially with the pandemic, I think that brought out kind of lot of the ugliest in people and just divided people. And they really, you know, expressed opinions about certain things that were contradictory to their own belief systems or, you know, what they were practicing rather than preaching. so, you know, that really highlighted a lot of hypocrites. Before we kind of started that, I just also want to, you know, full disclosure.

Speaker 2 (08:08.59)

I myself have been a hypocrite and I think that we all have it in us to be hypocrites at times and we all say or do things that may not be under our so-called belief system, especially with kids. And I'm sure you've experienced this where you say, Hey, don't do that. And then you turn around and do something similar. And now my son is old enough and I'm sure you experienced it with your three kids where they're like, well, wait a minute, but what are you doing?

Yeah. they call you on your bullshit. They call you on your bullshit and you're like, yeah, yep. And even now my son's old enough to say, dad, that's hypocrisy. You're being a hypocrite. Like, yep, he's right.

he uses that word too.

Yeah, he's aware of it. knows what it means. He really makes me aware of my own hypocrisy. And that's why I'm wearing my shirt today here in the United States of hypocrisy. As I believe, you know, we live in a country that's just full of hypocrisy, especially now with the current climate of

many different things, no matter which side of the political spectrum, religion, whatever it is, I think that everyone, you know, just has those moments when they are a complete hypocrite. And a lot of times, unfortunately, people don't own up to it and don't admit it and be humble in their actions or their words. And I think that's where a lot of this divisiveness comes from. What are your thoughts on hypocrisy and hypocrites, Heather? Because I know, like I said, with kids,

Speaker 2 (09:39.822)

They kind of reflect on you your own beliefs and behaviors make you own up to your bullshit. Have you had any experience with that? Of course.

especially with three teenagers now, they can easily call me out on my hypocrisy if they see it. So they're very smart and they teach me a lot. I remember, you know, I look at it more through the lens of parenting in my little bubble that I'm trying to keep, although we will expand and I'll, talk more about the aspects of hypocrisy within our culture. But in parenting, I can see that it can be a huge issue. The whole do as I say, not as I do, right?

And we saw that, I saw that in our parents at times. And I remember being a teenager and looking at them sometimes like, really? You're gonna tell me not to do that, but look at you? And you know, well, I'm the adult, I'm the adult. And as much as I've tried not to do that with my kids, it's inevitable, especially when I look at things, you know, that they may not realize. My husband and I look at each other like, what were we doing at their age when we're telling them not to do things? Shh, don't tell them. I don't know if they're listening to this podcast.

Yeah, and it's hard because then you become an adult and you understand, like I understand a little bit more why our parents did that. And I am aware now as a parent, like, okay. I think it's owning it though, knowing that you have some hypocrisy and maybe explaining to your children this is why, you know? It's a...

Yeah, it's a fine line though, because I can tell them, get off of your phones and stop all your screen time. But then if they come in and see me scrolling away, you know, that's hypocrisy and I can justify it. Well, and I think I did last night, like I didn't have all this when I was your age. So it's different for you. Your brains are a little more susceptible, but truly I need to watch it for myself too. Like all the scrolling and all the screen time and all the EMF exposure that I scare them with.

Speaker 2 (11:38.094)

Oh yeah. It's so true that that's funny you brought up the phone thing because that is definitely one that I'm sure a lot of parents, you know, deal with is that yes, we don't want our kids to have too much screen time. And then they turn around and look at us and work outside on our phones or computers or whatever. And yeah, I've always like, well, I'm working son. have to get dad has to do some work. therefore I have to be out of here. You know, and then he'll be like, dad, can I look up something for class or.

hypocrisy.

Speaker 2 (12:07.246)

I want to check something on Amazon because I want to shop or whatever. And next thing you know he's playing Roblox. So I'm like, wait a minute. He's already figured it out. He's already figured out the manipulation and how to run the hypocrisy.

working

Speaker 1 (12:21.9)

And I see it a lot, know, we've chosen, my husband and I have chosen not to drink like we used to, alcohol, and that's simply because we just can't handle it at this age anymore, the recovery. But I see it in a lot of my friends who drink, you know, and they're like, whatever, have their wine, have their mimosas, and yet telling their teenagers, don't drink, don't do this. And so I'm sure as a teenager, I was the same way, looking at your parents throwing it down, and then you're like, well,

Yeah, they would be like, well, wait a minute, you're doing it. You know, why can't I? Right.

But the justification in my mind is, well, you have to wait until you're 21. You have to wait until you're 21. And I'm like, but did we wait until we were 21?

I know. Hypocrisy. It's true. Practice what you preach.

Turn this off. If you're listening to yours, watching your mom right now, turn this off.

Speaker 2 (13:14.594)

Mute this section. Yeah. We'll have a separate one for them. We'll do a separate edit. The G rated edit. PG 13. Yeah. So I mean, I think on the more mundane level or the less harmful level, that is hypocrisy. Just a quick funny story to that as well as, yeah, we were just camping on a camping trip and we were having s'mores and, you know, don't eat too much sugar. You don't want your kids to have too much sugar, especially when you're going to bed shortly after. And, know, I

I I had two s'mores and he only had one and you know anything like that when that happens I'm well I'm an adult and remember I'm twice as big. That's my hypocrisy.

Wow.

innocent

It's like the parents, the mom tip of if you have like sweets in the house but you don't want your kids to raid it, you put it into like the vegetable bin and hide it underneath the vegetable so they'll never see it. Eat your veggies, but I'm gonna have my snacks over here.

Speaker 2 (14:17.298)

that's funny. Yeah. Do you put your medicinals in there as well? The kids would never find like, what was it? think it was in a breaking batters. were like taping the stuff in the refrigerator, hiding it anyway. The things parents will do.

Pro tips for parents.

Yeah, yeah. Right. And I mean, those are the kind of trivial mundane, you know, hypocrisy moments. But then, yes, unfortunately, hypocrisy can be very serious and it can become something that affects many people negatively and becomes, you know, huge in the social context and the cultural context. And those are the things for me where I just look at our society now I'm like, wow, people no longer look at both sides of an argument.

They literally latch onto one particular viewpoint and make that, you know, that's it. That's all I'm going to be. And I'm going to follow the right or the left or whatever it is. I'm not going to consider the middle. I'm not going to have critical thinking of my, and I'm going to just be fed information through an algorithm that fits my belief system. And that's what it's going to be. And whether or not I do, as I say, I'm still going to just continue on with my rants about a particular topic, even though they're being

complete hypocrites and it's 100 % obvious people just continue doing it no matter what. And they don't take a moment and pause and say, well wait, actually, maybe we should consider the other side of the argument. You know, maybe we should see what what's going on over there and not just everything has to be my view or my way. that's where things like cancel culture come in and it becomes, you know, kind of dangerous. It's like, wait a minute. Okay. So we're just canceling people or

Speaker 2 (16:00.568)

You know, one thing that I find very interesting that's happened recently is that, you know, where they go up and dig up, you know, tweets or things that were posted, where they said something offensive or taken out of context, it may be offensive or maybe in the present day. And I get it. If you're doing something that's, you know, very hurtful and harmful, like the me too movement or something like that, where people are actually, you know, being harmed. Sure. Serious. If someone says something though, and maybe, you know, it's just

in a moment and they didn't mean it or the rest of their attitude or their behavior belief system doesn't reflect that in a negative way. we allow them to come back and apologize? Do we allow them to be forgiven? You know, or are they just blacklisted band? Are they, you know, forever, you know, taken out of society or not able to be a part of anymore because they made that one, that one mistake.

And especially if you think about it, in our time, you know, as Gen Xers, we didn't have all of our periods of growth and learning out there for the world to see and remember. So if you put something out now, this is what I always tell my kids, you put it out on social, it's out there forever. It doesn't matter if you delete it, somebody could have screenshotted it. We didn't have that. So that grace of the things I may have said in my 20s.

And my thought process then, I certainly hope, and I feel like I have learned a lot since my twenties, maybe that has shifted that grace of like, you were young and didn't know better. Now I feel like there's just instant cancellation and there's no opportunity for redemption for people in a lot of these situations, right?

Exactly. And that's what is so crazy to me is, could you imagine when we were kids, the things that we did, the things that we said, you know, if there was a record of all of that and at any moment someone could just go pull that information and be like, Hey, look, when you were seven years old, you did this or said this and therefore you are canceled and you can't get a job or you can't be considered for something. And that's what's, it's a little scary. It's like this big brother watching in the sense that

Speaker 2 (18:13.036)

Sure, I get it. We should all be held accountable for our actions. I think that's very important. And in a way, it can be used in a positive sense for accountability, right? Because people shouldn't be able to get away with bad behavior and the bad things they do, especially when it's hurtful to others. But at the same time, we don't want to just make it this broad thing of like, okay, it's a blanket effect and therefore everyone's out if they do anything bad. We also need to have

a little bit of wiggle room there and consideration about circumstances and how old were you? Yeah, you were young. You made a mistake. You maybe didn't know better, you know, and now you realize, you know, you've had growth and development. You look back like even as an adult, you know, as we're adults, we go through phases in life and changes and learn things and like, yeah, I was a jerk back then. And wow, I'd like to apologize for that. And I've grown and I would like to show that I've grown and

made changes that I don't have that belief anymore, whatever it was, or if you've ever been in an argument with someone where you've said something hurtful or made a mistake and later apologize, I would hope that, you know, society could be a little more forgiving and understanding. You just may have said something off-handed that was inappropriate, but you later come back and apologize and, you know, say, yeah, I was wrong. Are we able to forgive people for mistakes?

And that's a hard one because to me there's a fine line and anyone out there that's listening or watching you guys can chime in at any point. mistakes, however, how extreme are those mistakes? When we saw through the Me Too movement and all the things that were going on with that, you know, is that something that is forgivable? Is that something if somebody did that to me, am I able to give them the grace of, they've changed? You know, these are extreme cases. So do we allow that?

Or do I, am I still judge and jury? mean, especially if it happened to me, of course I'm judge and jury for that situation, but where is the forgiveness? You know, I understand if somebody makes a flippant comment when they're, you know, in their teens and then it comes back to haunt them 20 years later and that, okay, that maybe is more forgivable, but I think it just really depends on the topic and the level of releasing the cancellation, uncancelling them.

Speaker 1 (20:29.55)

That's a tough one.

It is one example for me, know, huge fan of the chicks, also known as the Dixie chicks. And back when they made a political comment about our president at the time, they were canceled. They were completely canceled. And then we go to that first amendment, right? know, freedom of speech and how that becomes used so hypocritically of, you can say that.

but I can't say what I want, know, or they can make their comments, you know, whatever it is, in an extreme way, but then I can't say my comment about, you know, political things or even religious things otherwise within that group or whatever I'm, I'm canceled, you know, and it is, it becomes a little bit extreme where, you know, we're not giving people a second chance or not just saying, Hey, you know what? Yeah. We live in a country where thousands of people have died for you to have the right to

have your first amendment right to speak your mind and say what you want as long as it's not, you know, attacking others in a defamatory way in a way that's just, you know, Hey, this is how I feel about this particular issue or topic. And I would like to express my opinion. And you should be able to without being canceled, without being shunned by everyone, you shouldn't, we should be more acceptable to like, okay, that's your opinion. Great.

you should be able to express it. And we're not just going to say like, they're bad, they're evil for expressing an opinion about something. Now, yeah, serious things like the Me Too movement where you're, you're talking about, you know, really hurting others or physical injury or, you know, racism, sexism, whatever it is, then yes, those are serious and we should take those seriously. And yeah, people should be put into a place where there's, there's some form of punishment for that behavior because

Speaker 2 (22:21.496)

collectively as a society or a culture. Yeah, we don't want that. But at the same time, we have to be open to accepting opinions that we have the right to share. You know, in some countries you share those opinions, you disappear. You are no longer seen again and you're not in a good place. Whereas in our country, you know, we fought to have freedom and it doesn't matter if it you agree with it, whatever your opinion is about a particular topic politically.

whatever it is, you should be able to share that opinion. That's the hypocrisy is when people try to say you can't say that, you can't do that.

I mean, I think, and this is the most controversial I'll probably get today because it affected me personally. We saw so much of this during the pandemic, right? After everything happened with COVID, varying opinions about certain things to do with COVID. It got people shadow banned on social media. It got people canceled. got...

messy with friendships because it became politicized if your viewpoint was different. And you may know what I'm talking about. I'm not even going to get into it fully, but I think we saw a lot of that happen during the pandemic. And I sat back trying to understand, why can't I look at both sides? Why can't I use my critical thinking in this and maybe question some things, but that doesn't mean that I'm this far on this side or this far on this side.

And I personally lost a friendship and I didn't even realize that they, you know, I think they just assumed that I was supporting one side when I actually wasn't. I was simply questioning and trying to understand and wrap my brain around it. So that is a really touchy subject, I think still with the pandemic. Sorry, see my cat is here for my cat. He's my therapy cat. Yeah. And that was a

Speaker 1 (24:22.466)

blatant example of cancel culture and people being canceled for speaking their minds about something or questioning something. And social media, that was the big surprise to me that if you didn't go along this line that you could be, and I saw people that were shadow banned for it or canceled.

Absolutely. And I think, you know, that's one of the most challenging things to navigate now is social media and expressing your opinions, walking on eggshells because you don't want to offend anyone. You don't want to do any, you know, thing where you're going to be shadow banned or put into Twitter jail or ex jail or whatever they're calling it now. You know, where you're removed from being able to interact with others because you just expressed how you feel. And again, not

being, you know, derogatory or doing it in a way that's directly hurtful or bullying. If you're just expressing how you feel about politics or religion or even just simple, you know, subjects that others may not agree with or whatever is, you know, popular and the norm at the time. Yeah, we, we as a society and a culture need to be a little bit more open to understanding that freedom of speech, have earned this right as a country to share how we feel.

even if we don't agree with it. know, and I follow a lot of people on social media that I don't agree with their political opinions, but other things that they share and in podcasters, you know, other topics that they discuss, I do agree with that. I enjoy the content. But yeah, when they talk about other things, I just say, okay, well, that's their opinion. Doesn't mean I have to block them or stop.

Keep scrolling, just keep scrolling, just move forward. You don't have to, I see so much of that among people that I know that I'm close to. Friendships that have literally dissolved because of this being so politically, you you cannot, one person has to feel this way or they're not my friend. I like adults with this, I know a few who have had this situation where friendships just completely imploded.

Speaker 1 (26:30.934)

because they didn't see this side and they didn't see this side and I'd just sit there going, my God, like just scroll, just move through. Or you can take a break or you can what, see less from this person, just do that. Why do you have to unfriend? And maybe, I do know some people feel so deeply in their core and they're so convicted about their side that they don't even want to affiliate with somebody who doesn't align with that. And I get it.

But I think you and I are saying today, like, why can't we sort of just broaden things a little bit, especially when it comes to politics and maybe, okay, I see a little, don't agree with this side or don't agree with this side, but I'm certainly not going to just completely annihilate a friendship. Did you see that? Like in some of our high school friends, people that.

you follow on Facebook or something. And I've been surprised to see that they feel a certain way or they're posting a certain way, but it's not made me want to say, my gosh, I don't even want to be friends with them anymore. It's just like, okay, that's how they feel. And that's not how I feel.

Exactly. I mean, I've had friends, people unfriend me because of my political views or whatever. Or they have a perception of my political views that they may not actually know the full story because I'm not an extreme one way or the other. And I do cross over on a lot of issues to both sides and go back and forth and probably more of a moderate. you know, I think people will see one post to me and be like,

They're whatever, they're extreme right or extreme left and I'm done with them. I can't believe it. And you know, they make assumptions, which is so interesting because they will sit and make assumptions about you as a person without even knowing you're having a conversation with you to fully understand who you are. Or as we know, people will judge a book by its cover and they might just look at you and be like, they're blah, blah, blah, can tell. And they'll delete you or not, you know, not want to engage with you. It's very, very interesting times and

Speaker 2 (28:29.474)

Going back really quick to the social media aspect of this in kids is that it is a weird time for them because they are creating a history, a public history, kind of like what celebrities used to go through back in the day of, you know, their life is a recorded history and they create a persona and a narrative of who they are and they have publicists and all these people helping them and managers and agents helping them to form the persona and the public eye.

so that they can control things so that good and bad press in order to be perceived in the way that will get them the audience that they want and to keep their popularity. Well, with kids now, they're exposing themselves in the same way. And at any moment, anything you do is completely traceable back to you. And we're talking about future employment. We're talking about colleges. talking about all those things where those photo.

post a tag, anything that someone could bring that up later and be like, look, you supported this country during this time or this political view during this time or this, you know, political movement or, you know, this religious group or, know, whatever it is, socioeconomic or it is, and it's crazy that that can get you into a weird situation later in life. And I actually, we had to have a discussion with our son about it, you know, like, Hey,

Be careful what you're texting. Be careful what you're sending to your friends. Be careful what you're saying because that's permanent record. Now you can say off the record, you're talking on the playground or at your friend's house. Sure. But whatever you put on that device, which is scary, Heather, this is scary because it's like big brother watching. Unfortunately, these things are recorded and it's all there. And one day it could come back and bite in the butt. And you got to deal with that for the rest of your life. So like I said, me and my neighborhood friends growing up fist fights.

holding knives on each other, burning stuff, doing all the crazy stuff. No one was there like recording it and monitoring every move. I mean, if they did, we would all probably be in a lot of trouble because we did some horrible things to each other. That's how we grew. It's like, you know, Lord of the Flies. Nowadays, it's like everyone's watching you. You got the ring doorbell cameras. You got people with their phones everywhere. You're constantly being monitored. So your behavior really changes.

Speaker 1 (30:45.676)

Yeah, no, and that takes me to the whole thing of important, like you said, texting. know, those are receipts. Those are like forever. And I've always warned my kids of that. So beyond social media, whatever they send out, somebody can even though you can undo it or whatever, somebody can screenshot that and hang on to it as a receipt for the future, which we, have seen happen here in our area that happened to a young woman. And that can get ugly.

But the other aspect that I've talked to them about is, you know, sexting. And I know that can be a little touchy, but you have to be careful because somebody that you're with, and this goes for adults too, but especially young adults, you may think that they are your one and only and they have your best interests at heart always, but what happens if you break up someday and they want to use that against you and they've got screenshots or they've got saved things of you that are compromising?

that could affect you in your future. And let's say you become a celebrity someday and you want to live this life of, I didn't do anything wrong. And then an ex from your teen years uploads this photo somewhere online and there you are in all your glory making teen mistakes like we do. But like you said, we could make those mistakes in our generation. there were no, like proof wasn't really there.

Now it is, and they have to be super careful. So that's been another one that I've really warned Vine about, my kids.

Yeah, it's so true. mean, you know, we just did a three hour zoom with my son's school where they had a representative on there from the FBI actually. And they were just talking about, you know, sexploitation and everything with, with young kids. And yeah, it's dangerous in that aspect. And then it's just, you have to be careful. You really do. You never know when that's, that's going to come back. Crazy times. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:39.02)

I wanted to bring up something that incorporates a little bit of the cancel culture with hypocrisy. And this was an example that I thought of. Do you remember it was a Super Bowl halftime show with Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake. It was, I think they called it like nipple gate where, and some of you may not know this, go look it up, but they did a part of the act where Justin was supposed to do something with Janet and he ended up.

ripping her clothes and her breast was exposed and it became this huge issue for her. She was canceled after this. They thought that she had done it intentionally. Not much blame was put on Justin for this, but Janet got the heat. She was supposed to, I think it was a few days after the Super Bowl, go to the Grammys. She was uninvited to the Grammys and yet Justin was able to go.

and had no backlash for this, none. Her music, they pulled her videos from MTV, from VH1. Justin, no issues. Still playing those videos, still performing, and I always thought, what a hypocritical situation, because he's the one that pulled her top.

And I'm not even blaming him because who cares, right? Like that takes me to a whole other thing of, this as Americans, like we are so different than say Europeans when it comes to the female breasts, but that's probably another topic. But to watch her completely get annihilated and canceled, and yet he wasn't the hypocrisy in that, I never understood. And I thought about that as we were approaching this topic today. I was like, wow, that's a prime example of her.

having to just run through the fire and it took her years to recover from that and make her come back and I'm so glad she has. And meanwhile, he's just doing his thing. And I love Justin, I love Jesus. But that one always made me shake.

Speaker 2 (34:35.595)

had. so with that, do you see, I mean, of course, there's a lot of hypocrisy with, you know, sexism. And we're seeing a little more equality nowadays. But of course, as we were, you know, growing up, there was a lot of inequality and the things that men could get away with that women couldn't. Definitely a hypocrisy in that.

Yeah, and her being a black woman too. I wondered, you know, if this was a white woman, would this have been the same?

Right? Yeah. So there's racial portions of that as well. mean, yeah, hypocrisy extends beyond in so many different areas. And that's, that's when it becomes so dangerous is like, Hey, wait a minute, we have to recognize hypocrisy and understand, okay, we are all capable of hypocrisy. But at the same time, when it becomes serious, we have to address it. And maybe that's where cancel culture is good in a sense to cancel certain things when, you know, we have to look at it and say,

Yeah, we got to cancel that or cancel that company or boycott or whatever it is because yeah, they stepped over the line in our social context that we all agree upon, you know, is acceptable. I think, I think the norms and behaviors of a culture are determined by the collective of the people in the society. And we decide, you know, what's good and what's bad as a collective. And it shouldn't be one narrative of a very small group saying, this is what it has to be for everyone.

you know, we need to remember as a democracy, like we should all be able to share our opinion and come to a conclusion based on the majority. but at the same time in this country have the ability to have freedom of speech. So it's a slippery slope.

Speaker 1 (36:16.644)

Yeah, slippery slope, exactly.

Yeah, it's a dynamic that is always challenging, you know, to navigate and then also to manage. But at the same time, that's the beauty of it. You know, that's the beauty of our country and the beauty of who we are as humans is that we're not perfect. We all make mistakes, but at the same time, we have to own our shit. We have to be able to say, yeah, I did wrong and either I deserve a punishment or I, yeah, I deserve to, I need to take a time out and reflect, know, like you

Accountability. Accountability.

I need to be accountable for my actions. But when people argue against it and then that's when it becomes hypocritical is like, well, wait, so it's okay for you to do it, but not others or vice versa. It's like, no, that doesn't work. That's hypocrisy. And that's what I think we all need to stand up to and recognize and say, yeah, so in that case, we're going to, we're going to cancel you and we're going to say, nope, that's not going to work as a collective.

for all of us. have another example that you see, and this is, think it happens a lot in like, they call it the Bible Belt in the Midwest area, but I have known people who grew up in those areas and the hypocrisy of religion has actually sent them in the opposite direction, meaning

Speaker 1 (37:39.852)

Like I know someone who grew up in very much a, you know, Baptist area and this is nothing against Baptists. I'm not trying to bash anyone's religion, but where they watched, you know, like it's kind of the, the classic tale of the pastors kids who are doing all the crazy things that are, and yet, you know, they're excused from it or the people, these religious leaders who are excused from it because of the religion. And yet.

this person who wasn't a part of a religion was ostracized and they're a sinner and they're a bad person. And so they walked away from that going, I want nothing to do with organized religion. When I know for a fact that not all organized religions are like that, but it's interesting the hypocrisy in religion, which could be a whole other tangent that we go on and I don't want to, you know, again, I don't want to get canceled. So I'm not going to.

But just from experience, the hypocrisy with religion can be, I mean, that's been for centuries, right?

It's true. And again, you know, we have to be careful not to make generalizations about, you know, different groups or whatever, because that's, that's one of the biggest problems with people in humanity is that we generalize and we tend to draw conclusions based on, you know, very little evidence and we need to be more open-minded and use more critical thinking. And, know, we have, we live in the information age, we have access to so many resources and information that we should no longer just

take what we're given at face value, we should actually do a little bit of work and do some research and, hopefully this type of platform, like our podcast, you know, we can bring in people and get different perspectives and try to gain a deeper understanding on issues. So that way we're not just hearing the one side, like, yep, that's what it is. And I'm going to draw my conclusions based on what that one person said, because they're my go-to. that's, that's what it is. Like, no, look at many different people. And I'm one of those people where

Speaker 2 (39:42.58)

I hear about something going on. go to CNN and I go to Fox News and then I go to all my little obscure news sources that aren't mainstream. Cause I want to see from a broad range, like what's really going on here because you know, they all have their different narrative. They all have their motives that they want to use to try to feed information. And so yeah, much like certain religions can do where they, want to keep everyone in a box. They want to keep it all controlled and this is what you're going to believe. And this is who you are.

You know, we have to break out of that.

wonder too with our own media, with our own news and media in the United States being biased because in other countries what they are exposed to even news that has to do with our country is different than what we are fed and exposed to. Right?

100 % yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't want to go down the conspiracy rabbit hole that I love to look today. no, 100 % our legacy media is controlled, you know, by corporations, just like our government. I mean, it's all controlled. So we're literally just being fed a tiny little morsel of reality. You know, here's what it is. Just keep working your job. Keep being a slave to the system. Yep, here you go. And they're just feeding us what they want to feed us. And yes,

Look at him.

Speaker 2 (41:06.476)

We now have the opportunity and please, we all need to work on this of like broaden your scope here, broaden your vision, look around the room, hear different stories. Don't just take that one news source or that one, you know, particular thing and that's it, that's all, or vet your sources, you know, or if someone's claiming all of this information, like I'll go on social media, I'll be like, Hey, can you list your sources? They'll have all of these statements that they'll make about a particular topic. And I'm like,

where are they getting this information? List your sources and if they don't then I know it's bogus.

But how reliable are those sources though? That's the thing. I once heard that you can find anything online to support your viewpoint on something. You can.

it's a hundred percent true Heather. That that's exactly what it is though. This is what's so interesting in this what the algorithm does on social media is that it'll take, you know, everything that you're liking and then it'll be like, we're going to tailor it just to you. You know, we're going to have you shop for these certain items. If we're going to put toothpaste in your newsfeed because you talked about it last night at dinner. It's like, yeah, we are definitely controlled by the media. And again, this probably leads to a lot of the hypocrisy is that

We're being fed a narrative that fits our belief system, that makes us feel like we are justified in our thoughts, we are justified in our actions because look, the algorithm and now AI more than anything is gonna be telling us what we should be feeling, what we should be doing and we're going to become these like mindless robots walking around like, yes, I do as I am told and just keep working. they're like, pull the lever, keep working.

Speaker 1 (42:53.07)

That's why I'm trying so hard to instill in my kids to be critical thinkers. And when they, like my oldest, he's becoming, like he's becoming this man who is, you know, really developing his opinions about things and his life view and his stance on things. And I want him to always just be open-minded, but also think critically about things and not just buy into one thing. All my kids, I want them to

exactly what you're saying, like look beyond what you're being fed. And I think they're doing that, which is fantastic. And I hope that everyone else can. And I wanted to say, I think that's one of the great things about us doing the Sibling Soapbox podcast is because we wanted to open this up. It's not just our soapbox. Like we are offering the soapbox to other people. We genuinely want to hear your thoughts on things. It's not just going to be what we think and that's it. Don't listen to us. We want to know and we will talk about.

If you comment, if you send us some messages, we want to hear from other people and what your opinions are.

That's exactly it. That's so true. And yes, let's create a platform where we can share that information because we are given a very narrow minded view of the world and we need to open our eyes more. And that's one thing that I never really understood about the wokeness, the negativity towards woke or wokeness. And that term I think is misused a lot and not going.

back to like the social and racial injustice, not in that context, but in the more modern context where people just like flip the lead, throw that term around, you know, that's just woke. That's woke, whatever woke. But I don't know, maybe I'm misunderstanding. Maybe I'm wrong here, but I, the way I view the woke thing is that it's just, Hey, let's look a little deeper here. Let's open our eyes more and let's, let's try to see, you know, what else is going on within this particular topic and not just like,

Speaker 2 (44:51.788)

being never minded and that's a closed and shut door. You know, that's we're not going there anymore. Okay, so your take? What's your take on woke? I think maybe I'm misunderstanding it.

I'm trying to keep up on the lingo and maybe this is something I need to ask like the younger generations to understand is woke a bad thing? I don't know like if somebody's woke I guess I don't see enough of it out there and I have to say like I do put on my blinders to some things with social media I'm like maybe I'm too old for this. don't even know woke. What is that? So I don't really know like apparently it has a negative connotation. Is that what you're saying? Yeah

So my understanding is that the negative connotation comes from if you want to learn a more detailed history about our country that may not be as we currently know it whitewashed aka whitewashed, you know, that's a little it goes a little deeper and maybe that you know, not in those simple like Christopher Columbus, know discovered America that kind of crap where it's like, oh wow, there are atrocities and genocide and all these horrible things that happen. Maybe if you want to dig a little deeper.

You know, that's being woke or if you want to, you know, look at things in a broader context about gender or whatever it is. that's just woke and it's destroying our country to be woke. It's like, wait a minute. Don't we want to learn more and become better? And isn't knowledge power like, or do we just want to be stupefied and be, you know, simplified in our thoughts and our, our being and not, well, no, I don't want to learn anything new because that wouldn't fit within the context of my belief system. So therefore I'm just going to keep.

going along with what I think is right. And if someone brings in some new information that there are aliens and, you know, we're not alone in the world. I don't want to know that. I just want to work my nine to five and have my big screen TV and binge watch my shows on Netflix.

Speaker 1 (46:44.686)

And I think that it doesn't, again though, it doesn't have to be like, okay, if somebody believes in aliens and somebody doesn't, that doesn't mean that this person's completely wrong. Maybe I'm like, and we'll get into this in the future in another episode, I'm sure, but.

Maybe I don't buy into that, but I'm not going to sit back and say, well, you are wrong. I've got nothing that I don't want to hear you anymore. I don't want to hear your thoughts. I may just sit and let someone talk about them, but like, well, it's not going to change how I feel, but at least I'm open to listening. Open. That's what we're talking about.

And that's what it is. It's about being open. And I just want to give my soapbox drop if I could just my soapbox drop based on that. love that. 30 seconds, 30 seconds.

Thirty seconds, you tell me. United States of Hypocrisy, are you ready?

I'm ready. Okay, go. So box up. All right. So our mom always said, you know, and this goes back to the hypocrisy thing of put yourself in the other person's shoes, like put yourself in their shoes. Try to see it from their perspective. Stop living in this box with your ego of thinking that I have to be right. I always have to be the one and stop being an egomaniac, stop being a narcissist and start pretending that you have moral superiority over others and that you're holier than now. Open your heart. Love thy neighbor.

Speaker 2 (48:01.826)

You know, we have to treat each other with respect. We have to get through this world. We don't need all the divisiveness. We need to be together. And I think in order to do that, we have to stop being hypocrites in the big picture of things. And we're all going to have our little slip ups of being a hypocrite, but we have to end the hypocrisy. We have to be more open-minded. We have to broaden our spectrum of beliefs and understanding and just come together with love. That's all. That's my so box job.

Like it. Like it.

You remember mom always saying like put yourself in their shoes, try to understand, try to see it from their perspective.

Yes, I do. remember her saying that.

And I think that was such an important lesson growing up.

Speaker 1 (48:40.0)

Yes, definitely. But this takes me back to the parenting side and the parenting aspect of this, because I think oftentimes parents, we know everything because we are adults now and we've been adulting for a while. And then when our kids start having opinions and I, mom of teens, especially teenagers, we have to be really careful because I think so often as parents, we're like, but we know and they don't, we have life experience and they don't. I have learned so much in the last couple of years, especially to

open my mind, open my ears to what my kids are saying and I'm actually learning a lot from them. know, 19 year old, 17 year old, 16 year old. They actually are very smart and have some wisdom. So if I can remain open to that knowing that at times I'm like, well, I know after you have a little life experience that may change, but at least I'm listening and not just dismissing it because I'm the elder who knows better, right?

They have some wisdom.

It's so true. That's when the student becomes a teacher. And I think if you're a good parent, you will look at your kids and they're reflecting back a part of you, you you instilled within them, hopefully, you know, beliefs and morals and values, and they're going to reflect it back at you with a new perspective. And that's such a beautiful circle of life thing is when your kids will call you on your bullshit. They'll tell you like, no, and you'll know when they're calling you on your bullshit and when you're being a hypocrite and they call you on it. And they'll also teach you something new where you're like,

Wow. Yeah, you know, you're right. And I can't really argue with that. Damn, you're a smart little sucker or whatever it is, you know, like, okay, got me on that one. But that's beautiful. And hopefully you're raising, you know, children who, who feel that openness with you and that communication and you're learning from them. That's beautiful. I love that.

Speaker 1 (50:28.578)

Yeah, and to keep that open dialogue going for when they are adults and we do have hopefully, you know, holiday dinners together and so that nobody stands up and leaves the table, we can have these conversations and not always see eye to eye and maybe completely disagree, but at least we can still listen to each other and keep the dialogue going. No canceling at the dinner table.

That's right. It's so important because I think, you know, for a lot of people, issues become, you know, they're very passionate about them and then they become emotional. then everyone wants to be heard. Everyone wants to, you know, voice their opinion about something and yeah, it can become heated at times. But I think I said that before where that's, that's a great asset in a family dynamic is if you can have heated discussions and

even if they're a little bit argumentative, but as long as you circle back and you're all good and understand that you all love each other, then yeah, that will actually help all of us grow. You know, it doesn't have to be detrimental to our development. could actually really enlighten us and take us to another level of prosperity. We're like, oh yeah, we can, we can help each other. We can show, you know, different perspectives and also understand that, you know, at the end of the day, we probably all agree on more than we disagree with. think most people in the world,

just want to be happy. They want to have a comfortable life. They want to have food, shelter, enjoy, you know, going out during the day and just having a regular life. I don't think most people are so caught up and hell bent on issues that they don't want to enjoy things. So I think again, we just have more in common than we don't.

So this leads me to the question of, do we need to cancel cancel culture? I mean, do we just need to cancel cancel culture so that everyone can have an opportunity to learn and to grow and to, like you were saying earlier, have a chance to come back and acknowledge their mistakes. Again, if it's not something that's too hurtful or harmful to others, that one I'm like, you can go away and be canceled.

Speaker 1 (52:41.346)

But for our simple mistakes, if we've learned something from it and we've had a lesson, can we move through it instead of canceling each other for it?

Yeah, I think that's very important. And that brings us to empathy. You know, I think one of the things lacking so much in our current, you know, society and our culture is empathy. And just kind of wrapping this up, people need to understand that, yes, we are all human. We all make mistakes and maybe we could all be a little more humble and less judgmental. And, you know, stop falling into the trap of like

putting people into boxes and they have to be this or that. They can't be both or you can't be moderate. You have to be right or left or you can only be right or wrong. There's no in between. You can't admit when you're wrong and therefore get your credibility back. I think it's important for us all to say that it's okay and to be a bigger person. It's like when you have a kid and your kid makes mistakes and they're learning and as parents we're

forgiving. We have to be, you know, I think we need to do that with each other as adults a little more. And even if we don't agree and, and my son has certain interests and just like I did with my father that I don't have the same interest, but I doesn't mean I dismiss his interests. You know, I, I still like, okay, cool. And then certain interests we share and certain ones we don't, you know, again, we just have to be more loving and understanding of each other and knowing that there's always two sides to every story. And we don't always know

where someone's coming from, what their past is or history. We don't know what they've been through. We don't know, you know, the fires that they've had to put out throughout their lives or the trials and the tribulations. We don't know. And so, yeah, we need to be a little bit like, hey, let's, let's back off a little bit. know your ego may like it and feel good when you can attack other people and put them down and, yeah, now I'm right and you're wrong. But what does that really get you in the end? The narcissistic view on life and a lot of emptiness. So.

Speaker 2 (54:47.554)

Hopefully, you we can all move. We can all move forward and move out of this. yeah, just take a deep breath. Like, yeah, hypocrisy on a serious issues is not healthy.

No. my gosh. We covered so much today. We got deep today. We got deep. I'm to end this with, boomers. I forgive you. I give you grace for your days of wearing fur coats and now you're vegans. I see you. Okay. I give you the opportunity for redemption. Fur coats were a thing. They were a thing. And now, you know, they're drinking oat milk and eating plant-based diets, which is good.

Okay, so there's room for growth and change. Listen, so we got serious. I'm feeling like, yes, okay, we got a lot out there and I'm sure we're gonna hear a lot from people because this was such a serious topic today and I love that. But I think it's time to, you know, shake things up, shake it off a little bit. Are you ready for my dance out? Our dance out.

All all I'll try it some more. Yeah, you're right, I gotta shake this off.

Yes, okay, let's do it. Okay, here you go.

Speaker 1 (56:21.4)

Shaken up big time

Speaker 1 (56:26.706)

subscribe, give us your comments, share this with your friends. We love your support and we will see you next time on The Sibling Sofax.

That's right! Thanks everyone! Love each other, just love each other. Get rid of that ego, get rid of the hypocrisy. We can all be better people. See you next time! Thank you!

Ciao!

Show Notes

Keywords

hypocrisy, cancel culture, accountability, empathy, social media, personal experiences, parenting, societal norms, cultural issues, open-mindedness

Summary

In this episode of the Sibling SoapBox Podcast, Tristan and Heather delve into the theme of hypocrisy, exploring personal anecdotes, societal implications, and the impact of cancel culture. They discuss the importance of empathy, accountability, and open-mindedness in addressing hypocrisy in both personal and societal contexts. The conversation highlights the challenges of navigating opinions in a polarized world, especially in the age of social media, and emphasizes the need for understanding and growth.

Takeaways

Hypocrisy is the practice of claiming moral standards that one's own behavior does not conform to.

Everyone has experienced hypocrisy at some point in their lives.

Parents often struggle with the 'do as I say, not as I do' mentality.

Cancel culture can sometimes hinder personal growth and redemption.

Empathy is crucial in understanding others' perspectives and mistakes.

Social media amplifies the scrutiny of individuals' past actions and opinions.

Hypocrisy exists in various aspects of society, including politics and religion.

Open-mindedness is essential for personal and societal growth.

We should strive for understanding rather than judgment in our interactions.

The podcast aims to create a platform for diverse opinions and discussions. 

Titles

Navigating Hypocrisy: A Deep Dive

The Impact of Cancel Culture on Society

Sound bites

"We live in a country full of hypocrisy."

"We want to hear your thoughts on things."

"Do we need to cancel cancel culture?"

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Hypocrisy

06:33 Embarrassing Moments and Their Impact

14:17 Defining Hypocrisy in Modern Society

21:52 The Role of Cancel Culture

30:03 Navigating Social Media and Personal Accountability

32:14 Navigating Modern Dangers: Awareness and Education

32:54 Cancel Culture and Hypocrisy: A Case Study

34:35 Sexism and Racial Dynamics in Public Perception

35:28 The Slippery Slope of Cancel Culture

37:10 Religious Hypocrisy: A Personal Perspective

38:44 Critical Thinking in the Information Age

40:12 Media Bias and Its Impact on Perception

43:44 Creating a Platform for Open Dialogue

44:23 Understanding Wokeness: A Misunderstood Concept

47:32 Empathy and Accountability in Society

51:51 The Importance of Open Dialogue in Families

55:22 Finding Humor in Serious Topics: A Lighthearted Wrap-Up

56:50 SSB INTRO Master EDIT FINAL 2.mp4