Worth Beyond Wealth | Ep 6: The Life Raft Your Family Doesn't Have Yet

What if something happened to you tomorrow? Would your spouse know where everything is?

Shannon woke up one morning and realized that despite being married to a wealth advisor, she didn't have answers to basic questions about their own finances. Where are the accounts? What are the passwords? Whose email does the two-factor authentication go to? Who would she even call?

That moment sparked a much bigger conversation. They started pulling the thread and realized how many loose ends existed in what they thought was a well-organized financial life. Things were scattered across offices, folders, and email accounts. And if two people who communicate well and work in this industry had gaps like that, they figured they probably weren't alone.

In this episode, Ryan and Shannon go deep on The Life Raft: what it is, why a balance sheet isn't enough, how knowledge transfer actually works between spouses, and why the real goal isn't just preparing for the unexpected. It's about building something that helps your family flourish together for the long haul.

They also walk through tools they're developing: household summaries that go beyond numbers to tell the story behind every asset, cash flow maps, action timelines, and the question that matters most... who's in your life raft?

If you've ever thought "we should probably get on the same page," this is the episode.

🎧 Follow Worth Beyond Wealth Podcast
Redefining what it means to live well — beyond money, beyond success.
Join Ryan and Shannon as they help families, founders, and leaders discover fulfillment through purpose, peace, and legacy.

💬 Let’s Connect:
🌐 RW Investment Website
📩 Questions? Email us!

🪙 Because real wealth isn’t measured in dollars — it’s measured in impact.

⚖️ Disclaimer:
The information shared in this podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered financial, legal, or investment advice. Always consult a licensed professional before making financial decisions.

© 2026 Worth Beyond Wealth. All rights reserved.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

What if something happens to you? And so we started this conversation. I started this conversation. Ryan, what if something happens to you? I I don't feel equipped. I'm not sure where things are. And then it really started bringing out more and more questions surrounding the complexity of our personal financial picture.

SPEAKER_04 0:18

90% women who we are serving who have lost spouses. If it's 80% here, but 90% of them are going to go first, then what we have is a situation where a very high percentage of women in these relationships are someday going to find themselves in charge of what we call a family business.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

These are the two most stressful events in an adult woman's life. I've lost my spouse. I'm managing my finances alone. They're both happening simultaneously.

SPEAKER_04 0:55

It's okay to not be okay.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

It is.

SPEAKER_04 1:06

I feel guilty. Welcome to the Worth Beyond Wealth podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

Where net worth meets personal worth. I'm Shannon.

SPEAKER_04 1:20

I'm Ryan. We help families navigate the emotional, relational, and personal realities that money alone can't solve.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

If you build wealth but still wonder what it all means, or how to keep your family grounded while protecting your legacy, you're in the right place.

SPEAKER_04 1:35

We sit down with experts and with you to talk identity, purpose, and connection beyond the balance sheet.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

Because true wealth isn't measured in dollars, it's measured in the impact we make and the relationships we nurture.

SPEAKER_04 1:48

So grab a seat, take a breath, and let's redefine what it means to be truly wealthy together. This is the Worth Beyond Wealth Podcast. Welcome back for another Works Beyond Wealth podcast.

SPEAKER_03 2:02

Yes, welcome to you as well.

SPEAKER_04 2:05

Today we're going to dive in a little deeper to this big project we're working on called the Life Raft and really go into what it is, what it's about, who it can help, all the all the pieces of it.

SPEAKER_03 2:22

Yeah, the Life Raft, you know, it's obviously very personal with how it started, and we'll get into that. But when we talk about the Life Raft, I think the big question is, well, what is the Life Raft? And so we're painting this picture of this mindset of Life Raft, an overall mindset. But then we'll talk about just even some tools. Um and we may even have another podcast coming where we really dive into those tools specifically. But today I think in general, we'll have a broad overview of mindset.

SPEAKER_04 2:53

Some mindset and and then paint a picture of some of the specifics.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

I think so. Yeah. Broader strokes.

SPEAKER_04 3:00

Okay. Um so uh as a as a recap, we've probably talked about this on on prior episodes, but what happened?

SPEAKER_03 3:10

Yeah, I think the question is why and where did Life Raft originate, the idea of Life Raft? And I teasingly say, well, it was born of a panic attack. Yeah. My own. Not a literal panic attack, but a feeling of panic. Um, woke up one morning and realized, wait a second, there's a lot going on in our own personal financial picture that I do not feel fully versed in. I I feel that I have this general awareness, but specifics I'm not comfortable with. And it left me feeling unsafe. And I'll even go back and say, why would that be? Why would I have a broad understanding, but maybe not be really into the weeds with details? Our personal situation is that you are a financial advisor, but you're not just a financial advisor, you are my wealth manager, my personal wealth manager. So we had always lived in default mode, correct?

SPEAKER_06 4:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:26

Yeah. You you were managing our accounts, our investments, our portfolio was something that you had intimate knowledge of.

SPEAKER_04 4:34

As our daughter's saying in in her high school musical play, it was the status quo.

SPEAKER_03 4:38

It was the status quo. Right.

SPEAKER_04 4:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:40

High school musical quo, right? That wow. A high school musical reference.

SPEAKER_04 4:44

I've never watched the movie, but but I've watched my daughter in the play.

SPEAKER_03 4:47

So well, there's points right there.

SPEAKER_04 4:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

It's excellent work. I think that um that was it. It was the status quo. Um, I I I'm a nurse by trade. Um, so you know, I was doing volunteer work in nursing, raising the kids, keeping everything going at home so that we could have you on the front lines managing the business, doing all the details that had to happen there. A sounding board for you, but but that was your world. And so by default, you were managing the accounts. You'd fill me in, there'd be some things that I needed to sign. There'd be quick little passing conversations, a quick meeting here or there. But overall, I knew and trusted that you were managing those accounts. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_04 5:34

But I also was doing what we find many entrepreneurs doing. Yeah. And that is making new uh investments without a lot of communication. Correct. And and investments beyond just adding dollars to an account, investments in a in a small company or investments into a piece of real estate or or various things. So actually things like that. Creating complexity. Yes. You know, no intention of certainly not hiding anything, but creating complexity that uh given the right situation would create uh anxiety and and potentially chaos for you.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

Yeah. And again, yes, thank you for bringing that up. That's I think a critical part of the picture for for myself, and I think for a lot of um entrepreneurial couples, it wasn't your typical 401k situation. It was, well, there's private placements and there's there were just so, as you said, real estate, there were just so many things. And the list was fairly extensive. I just realized, and again, yeah, it wasn't that you were hiding anything from me, absolutely not, but you were making decisions that you felt were appropriate. You would ping me on those decisions. Sometimes I would show up and maybe meet the person that you were um investing in a startup or whatever it happened to be. But again, I would take um, well, what do you think? And then I would say, as long as this is my comfort level, and then you'd pull the trigger. And I just trusted your judgment because you were my advisor, right? So it's not that our relationship was inappropriate in that, but I really wasn't getting all of the nuts and bolts that could that could lead to feeling confident, right?

SPEAKER_04 7:27

So well, and and keep in mind, some of these things don't get reported on in regular cadence. So it might have been done five years ago. There have been no statements. Sure. Who do uh who would I even talk to? How do how would I even know it was there? Yeah, it's on a balance sheet, but what does that mean? Is this something I can sell? Right. Is this again? I there's there are a lot of moving parts, which we'll talk about, you know, how we intend to address that in the life raft process, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:03

No, exactly. And so I started asking this question of just okay, if I were to be in a situation where something happened to you, that was the big question. What if something happens to you? And so we started this conversation. I started this conversation, Ryan. What if something happens to you? I I don't feel equipped, I'm not sure where things are. And then it really started bringing out more and more questions surrounding the complexity of our personal financial picture. Questions that you hadn't even thought of. I mean, we we were really well prepared overall, we thought, right? Insurances were in place.

SPEAKER_04 8:42

Um by sells, uh, will, living trust, you know, all the basic documents, everything is in place, balance sheet, CPA, attorney. Right. But there were things missing.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

This is and I'll give examples of what what we found, what what pieces were missing. So for example, um, I would say, okay, well, where where is this account held? Okay, well, what's the password? Okay, well, is it a dual authentication? Well, whose email does it go to? Whose cell phone does it go to? And we started realizing how many email accounts you had. We started realizing how many times things were going to your cell phone. We started realizing you would say, well, it's in the folder. And I would say, well, what folder? The one in the office. Which office? And just realizing things were here, there, and everywhere. There's two different offices, there's multiple folders, there's how many email accounts, and things were sort of, I guess, scattered. So we really needed to bring it all into one space.

SPEAKER_04 9:47

Yeah. And we don't think we're alone in that.

SPEAKER_03 9:51

Well, what we realized is if two educated people who communicate fairly regularly, and probably I would venture to say, as we've been going through this process, realizing we're communicating better than most in a lot of ways, perfect? No, have learned a lot and how to improve that communication, still on the journey. But what we realized was that if we were in a situation where you, you're, you're a wealth manager, you're a financial advisor, you know what to do. And yet we we were missing so many components of how to be on the same page, how to transfer the knowledge to the spouse.

SPEAKER_04 10:34

I think this speaks to why I started to see that there might be a bigger project here. And that is, I'm not sure that I wasn't I was doing all of the things that are fairly standard in the industry. Yes. Right? That's correct. All the all the tools we we had a plan, we had a will, we had CPAs, we were making investments, we were saving, we were doing all the right things. But what we as we started to peel off the layers of the onion, we started to realize there's actually a lot more here that can be of value to a lot of families with complexity in their lives. And the starting point is this, you know, what all we've talked about so far is really just getting complete clarity and open communication around the pieces, uh, the the tangible pieces in our life around the surrounding wealth, right? Correct. Which gives security, hopefully. Um safety and security. We're we're finding that that is a a piece of this for many uh spouses.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

So I'm gonna talk about safety and security for a second, because what was the thing that I said when we started these conversations? I said, I feel like I'm drowning. I need a life raft.

SPEAKER_04 12:06

Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

And that's why we called it the life raft.

SPEAKER_04 12:10

And you also said something else when I so proudly handed you a balance sheet on a single page that was in eight-point font so that it got on the single page. But what did you say then?

SPEAKER_03 12:23

I said, have you so so for those who enjoy watching movies? Um the beautiful mind reference came out. And I said it looked like it was from a beautiful mind.

SPEAKER_04 12:35

Um, but you said something else. You said, I feel like I'm a stranger.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

Yeah, I feel like I'm a stranger. I'm in a strange land, I don't understand the language, and I don't know where I'm going.

SPEAKER_04 12:50

And you don't know anyone.

SPEAKER_03 12:50

I don't, and I don't know anyone. I did, yes, that's correct.

SPEAKER_04 12:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:53

So and that's in the book.

SPEAKER_04 12:55

It it started to reveal, I guess, a a lot of things that are not just unique to you and I.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

No, they're not. And that and that's what's that's why we're sharing our experience because maybe if if we could go through two educated people, this is your, you know, playing field of the day. Um we communicate well, but yet we were in this situation, finding ourselves feeling disconnected in the knowledge transfer and a spouse feeling like they're drowning and they need a life raft. And I was saying, if something happens to you, I'm gonna be surrounded by people that I, yes, that I don't know. And I don't want to be in a situation where I can be taken advantage of. I don't want to be in a situation where um people are talking at me or to me, but I need to be spoken with saying if if I was nothing had happened to you. Correct. So we just realized how many unknowns there were and how many gray areas there were, and how many loose ends we actually had when we had assumed that everything was pretty secured. So we had a good scaffolding in place. I will say that, but we really needed to flesh it out and we needed to be on the same page, speaking the same language. And the only way to do that was to sit down and for you to begin. What we did was we actually went to an interview process. I started asking you questions.

SPEAKER_04 14:26

We started recording.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

You started recording. You initially um had written notes to me and that that spreadsheet, but I said, You can't build this for me. I need you need to build it with me. I need to build it with you. I it needs to be in my own hand, in my own voice, in my notes. I need to understand what's being written down. Why?

SPEAKER_04 14:45

So learning happens through the process, right? A big piece of the life raft, not only learning, but we call it knowledge transfer.

SPEAKER_03 14:52

Knowledge transfer. Right. Language matters, needed to understand the language, or at least basic components of the language.

SPEAKER_04 15:01

Well, there in so many fields, you know, if if I came into a nursing scenario with you, I there would be many things I wouldn't understand, many acronyms, shortened ways of saying things, or even just the words that I don't use in a in a normal daily um part of my life. And so it I would feel uncertain. Uh I I wouldn't know what did you just say? Can you say that in correct uh in in English? Yeah. Because you're not sure. And so that exists in the world of wealth advice, right?

SPEAKER_03 15:36

It absolutely exists in the world of investments, yes. And again, just just just to reiterate, it can be confusing when you're dealing with a even a more general plan, right? But when you add complexities, as so many entrepreneurial pictures, financial pictures, they they they contain complexity often. Would you say more often than not?

SPEAKER_04 16:04

Of course.

SPEAKER_03 16:04

Of course. So you add that level, no wonder one of the main questions that we found people were asking was am I going to be okay? Are we going to be okay? Are we okay? Because there was a lack of understanding.

SPEAKER_06 16:22

Right.

SPEAKER_03 16:23

Right. Not that people were doing something wrong, not that people I you know, I think I think we have to stop and say, give yourself some grace because I think what can happen is we can go into a space of shame. We're definitely in a space of fear. But then have we entered a space where I'm stupid, I'm I'm uneducated, I'm ignorant, I don't understand this.

SPEAKER_04 16:48

I'm embarrassed to ask questions.

SPEAKER_03 16:50

I'm embarrassed to ask questions or a defensive position. Why didn't you explain this? Why didn't you tell me? Are you hiding things from me? Why do you do these things? Why do you always um make decisions and then you leave me in the dark?

SPEAKER_04 17:06

You're always or what we I found too is why won't you talk to me about it?

SPEAKER_03 17:10

Why won't you talk to me about it?

SPEAKER_04 17:11

There there are, well, I'm I'm tired at the end of the day and I I've already spent my business acumen uh time uh at work.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 17:20

Um so so everything we've talked about to this point creates a foundation of of safety and security. In the book, we talk about Maslow's hierarchy.

SPEAKER_03 17:32

So um, you know, we don't need to go through that entirely, but food, shelter, um basic needs of of safety and security are at the bottom of that pyramid, and you can't get to other, you can you can't climb up into higher level thinking unless you have safety and security.

SPEAKER_04 17:50

So one of the ways we we are communicating that is you can't move on to talking about long-term goals, mission, and vision, how how do we flourish? And so I want to step back for a moment and say if this whole project was about creating something that was a fancy or robust vault of documents and information that would protect you if I were gone, then we wouldn't be doing it. And the reason is that there are plenty of tools out there that like you said, a knockbox. We can we can get a box, we can have files, and we can drop pieces of paper in, or we can do it electronically. There are there are there are a lot of robust products. So what we are trying to do is to say that is that is the base level of of what a family needs to be.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

But critical.

SPEAKER_04 18:56

Critical. It's it's it's step one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

But um Then what do we do with all of this beautiful information? The we moved it beyond that.

SPEAKER_04 19:06

The probability is not that Ryan at 48 is going to be gone tomorrow or even in the near future.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

You just shared your age.

SPEAKER_04 19:16

That's okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

It's a big step for you.

SPEAKER_04 19:18

It is a big step. So the the probability is that we will live a long life together for for many decades. So having a end of life protection for Shannon, yes, that's part of it. But what else is the main goal?

SPEAKER_03 19:42

So why are you building your wealth?

SPEAKER_04 19:45

Right. And and what is the what is the life raft intended to do? Okay, so we'll get into this in a minute, but we started to see there's the potential for drift in families. Absolutely this these the the entrepreneur is off creating a bigger, better thing, conquering the world, and there's somebody saying, I'm uncertain, I'm I feel unsafe, I don't have knowledge. And so what we what we found is we want to raise this person up through this knowledge transfer, everything we've talked about so far, and create better communication so that they can come together and flourish in the most probabilistic way, which is to say the likelihood that they're going to live together, both be alive for 30, 40 more years. So in if we're in our 40s, okay, this could be 50 more years or plus considering all the health advances that your field is making, right? So we could how it's more important to start to think about how do we flourish together over the rest of our lives, not just let's put something in place that protects you in case I'm gone for the worst thing that can happen. Right. Planning for mar for Armageddon. I say all the time a s an investment strategy that plans or protects against Armageddon is not a strategy at all. That's just that that may make you feel good, but that's not what's really uh beneficial to the likelihood of of all the the possibilities. So what we're trying to do is to create a platform that helps families flourish.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Um, so this is on your own. Um, this is written by um a PhD and a certified financial planner, both women. But in the book, it says research indicates that for a married woman, and and I'm saying woman, we don't want to discount that there are gentlemen that are also in a situation where they're feeling unprepared or uninvolved or under. Involved, right? Because the role could definitely be reversed. He's a professional in a different field. She's the financial professional. This could also be the case. And we've seen that. But for the sake of this particular quote, research indicates that for a married woman, the loss of a spouse is the single most emotionally stressful event in her adult life. For most of these women, the task of managing their finances by themselves follows closely behind this event. So imagine that. If we've number one, lost our spouse, and number two, these are the two most stressful events in an adult woman's life. I've lost my spouse. I'm managing my finances alone. They're both happening simultaneously. They're right together, right?

SPEAKER_04 22:44

And potentially for the first time, I'm involved.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

And potentially for the first time involved. And that is a critical piece to this. And that was something that we already talked about. What happens if I am dropped off in the middle of a terrain that I don't know? I don't know the language. I don't know the people. I don't know where I am. I have no map, no guide. I don't have no translation. I don't know what's happening. I'm flying blind and I'm afraid and I'm grieving. So if we ask someone to experience these events unprepared, uneducated, and unaware, have we done them any favors? We haven't. So that's where this beautiful life raft comes in. And you'll hear the term invitation to education. Because what Life Raft is, is yes, it is information. And then there's this beautiful invitation for education that comes along. You can learn as little or as much as you would like, but there's an offer for you to understand, to ask questions in a safe space, to be prepared.

SPEAKER_04 23:55

To be involved.

SPEAKER_03 23:56

To be involved, to be part of a team.

unknown 23:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:59

And we and we would still say, I mean, I I think that's um we have people that we've talked to who say, I don't want to know. So how how would you respond to that?

SPEAKER_03 24:12

Yeah. Um, I've let them I've let them have their feelings. Number one, I accepted that their response was a quick and and I will say it was a very quick shutdown. I don't want to know. There's a vault, there's a folder in the vault. And if something happens, I know where it is. And they are immediately shut down. Almost as if there's fear or trepidation or uncertainty that causes them to go into a fight, flight, or freeze.

unknown 24:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:39

Almost to that level.

SPEAKER_04 24:42

And my comment back would be what if that folder was updated 10 years ago?

SPEAKER_03 24:49

Right. And it probably was. Or within the last five. Let's say five. Five is still a long time. Yeah. Yeah. A lot can happen in five years in these entrepreneurial situations. A lot absolutely has happened within five years.

SPEAKER_04 25:05

Yeah. I mean, we know of a situation where this unfortunately did happen. And I was told that a lot did happen just in 12 months.

SPEAKER_03 25:14

12 months. Because entrepreneurs by nature, and this is not a knock on an entrepreneur. This is something that is the beauty of how they work. But what does an entrepreneur typically do? They are a striver, an achiever, a visionary, a go-getter. They're they're kind of that hummingbird personality, right? And so if they're off and they're building the next thing and conquering the next, you know, conquest, but they're not bringing that partner along. There's not a camaraderie in that. There's there's no there's no intentionality there for the knowledge to be transferred so that this person is not left in the dust and confused and frightened. And this isn't the goal, right? This isn't why an entrepreneur is doing this. There's no in we haven't seen ill intent. Right. So actually, we've seen the opposite. I feel I feel badly about this. Um my spouse is is in pain. My spouse is confused, is concerned, but I don't know what to do. Is there something we can do? Yeah, we've seen that response.

SPEAKER_06 26:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:29

Um, but you know, I think let's talk about something. How did the realization of what came out of this um feeling of panic, concern? How did that shift our roles with home and work?

SPEAKER_04 26:43

Before we do that, can can I I want to you started talking about entrepreneurs. Um and I wanted to make sure we got this in here. So just a moment ago, you were talking about the personality of an entrepreneur, who are they, etc. And and while we're saying the word entrepreneur, I want to dry out for a moment that we don't necessarily just mean those individuals in the world who are have started or are running their own business. Absolutely not. And no. Because we think that the Life Raft concept and system can be useful for many people that may not own businesses. And so we don't want it to be just, hey, I'm not an entrepreneur, so this isn't for me. So um the you're you're gonna love this. The the word entrepreneur actually comes from a French word meaning to undertake, often referring to someone bearing financial risk in hopes of making a profit. Okay, now a an economist and philosopher um named Jean Baptiste went further. He said, it is one who shifts resources from less to more productive uses. Okay. So here we have the word entrepreneur, but that clearly doesn't just mean people who own their own businesses. No. An entrepreneur then can be pastors, people who are out investing in real estate, people who are executives of large corporations or within large corporations. Absolutely. Um, managers and leaders within companies uh who have devoted their lives to um making that company or or the division that they manage better. Uh I talked to a neighbor the other day who had worked in uh companies in two specific companies, um, large companies, household names, everybody knows them. And he said, when you work in those companies, he's not an entrepreneur from this you know definition of do you own a small business? But he said, you give them 24 hours a day. You are on call. They own you. They own you. You could be called by a manager, you have to be on a call somewhere. So um those people, uh, what we I think what we want to say, and and I believe you used the term a minute ago, these are all strivers. These are all people driving toward a bigger, better future. These are all people who are shifting resources from a less to a greater productive use.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

It's it's really a superpower.

SPEAKER_04 29:40

Yeah. It's people that are willing to take risks, but people that are that have grit, that have a growth mindset. Okay. Um, so the life raft is for all of these people. Yes. It's for the pastor who is giving 24 hours a day to building a church. And and we talked with Adam in our last episode, who had been in that world, who built a successful church.

SPEAKER_06 30:05

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 30:06

Really, no different than building a successful business in the the time and activities and energy and energy and hit a wall. And it was tearing the family apart. So success can be a really big um drain on these families.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

And what did we say? We didn't we didn't want that engine to stop running. We just wanted to kind of put that governor on the engine so that this is sustainable.

SPEAKER_06 30:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:32

Keep going, just don't rev so hard. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:37

I think he he talked about making the hustle sustainable.

SPEAKER_01 30:41

The hustle sustainable.

SPEAKER_04 30:43

Um so yeah, the life raft is for all of these families. Agree. And and then you used another word. So it's we believe um that to create a flourishing family, there has to be a pretty good amount of intentionality. Yes, this isn't infrastructure intentionality. This isn't just going to happen by accident. And um I think that uh anyway, that uh I I wanted to to talk about that because I want people to see that this is for them. This is for their family. This can be a tool almost for any family. And and we're working on things that might be able to take it out for do-it-yourselfers, not just the families that can come in and and pay people like us to rock alongside them. We we want this to be a blessing to the world.

SPEAKER_03 31:36

Well, and it was actually really sweet. We had a we had a lovely friend who said who who really loves this idea, but she said, we don't need the this really complex version because we don't have a complex portfolio, but gosh, we need the Costco version. And I loved that. Absolutely, because how how far can you go? And what can you achieve with what you already have? It doesn't have to be complex. You can still do so much. And if you bolster that with this this infrastructure and this intentionality and these tools, then sure, how far can you go? It's really it was I I thought it was a really great um observation. I I don't necessarily have this complexity, but do you have a Costco version? I I love that.

SPEAKER_04 32:28

It's great because we we are we are seeing it in almost every conversation we have. No, nobody here here nobody says, oh, that's a dumb idea. No one needs that.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

No, no, we've had the opposite. Is this available now? Can I purchase a product today? It was kind of funny. But um, but yeah, let's let's kind of scoop back to So how did the shift how did we shift in in roles?

SPEAKER_04 32:55

You loved it when I used that term. Hey, we we have roles.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

I did love it when you said that. You used to say that a lot. You know, if I if I um if I would come and have um ideas or thoughts or questions around your schedule, probably, or you know, are you able to do this? Or what about that? And we we were kind of in these spaces.

SPEAKER_04 33:16

It's probably a way for me to get out of doing things I didn't want to do at home, like cleaning the garage, or you know, I'm just I'm speculating. I'm not saying that's totally true. It just might be. So anyway.

SPEAKER_03 33:30

It's interesting that you're saying this now because there's there are witnesses that you said it, you admitted it.

SPEAKER_04 33:36

So the roles, you know, but you would say before this, too, and and what's what's interesting before you in and I've told this to you, but I would go to I think this is this is common of entrepreneurs. I would go to conferences where we were um visioning uh about business strategies, you know, how are we going to grow things? How are we, you know, what are we going to implement? How are we gonna say things better? What are we gonna do um to to to build something better? And I would have pages and pages of notes. Yeah. And then there would be some time to or space to to go into the family. And and my mind became a blank slate. And and I was convicted of that, I was convicted by that, yeah, but I but I didn't at that time and over the years, I didn't really know how to address that. And and it's possible that part of this journey is one where there are moments. Um there are different times in in our cycle where where we have more capacity to do things than others. So if our kids are young, yeah, it it is harder.

SPEAKER_03 35:06

It is harder to when you're building wealth, when you're building families. Um and and often there are defined roles. Like I have to sleep because and you know, I have to get up. I have I have a 7 a.m. meeting. So I I can't get up with the sick kiddo tonight. Yeah, we have rules.

SPEAKER_06 35:24

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 35:25

I felt hurt by that, and and we came to a space of realizing that language needed to change and that mindset needed to shift. Um, and there was healing over that, which was beautiful. And then that helps us to come together. But I think I think in those moments, specifically at this time where we really realized that we needed to make some big shifts in the way that we were approaching life, approaching financial decision making, approaching, um, and I I was I was in charge of our personal finances. We've talked about that in the past, but you were in charge of our big financial picture.

SPEAKER_04 36:09

Yep. You were you were paying bills, you were running the household checking account, right?

SPEAKER_03 36:13

Operating account, if you will, but but I was still building the you were still building the wealth and and um handling everything that had to do with that, our taxes. You were working in, you've said, unconscious competency. It was an automatic response for you. It was just, it was like breathing. So you weren't even thinking about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:34

And so and that said by the time we had this conversation, when you had your uh panic attack, um, I probably had 60,000 hours of working in, advising, thinking about studying, earning credentials, becoming the best that I could be in this industry. And you also said it was automatic. I don't even know what I need to communicate to you. You don't know that. How how do you not right? That's the unconscious. You never thought about it. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 37:07

It was just handled, but you what you did think was, oh, don't worry. I'm taking care of you, I'm taking care of it, I'm taking care of our family, I'm taking care of the kids, I've managed this. I just need you to sign this and and and have some awareness about this. And but but don't don't worry. I I've I've handled all of that. It's done. And then you trusted that I had the home front managed, and I trusted that you had this managed, and we were in these spaces, but we realized that we had to do some shifting around. So we couldn't say any longer, we have roles.

SPEAKER_04 37:41

Well, having separate roles and creating silos.

SPEAKER_03 37:43

Silos.

SPEAKER_04 37:44

I think that's a great way to is not a great way to have connection, open and honest communication, to to flourish together, to come together. But we those those silos are what's creating this. So that that concept of we have roles was creating the drift.

SPEAKER_03 38:03

I would agree. But we had a great marriage.

SPEAKER_04 38:05

Sure. Yeah, it wasn't like it was on the rocks.

SPEAKER_03 38:08

No, but what could happen if we had continued in silos after this moment of of realization? There comes a moment of accountability, right? We have we have this awakening, we have this um realization of what's going on, we have awareness. And now there's a moment of choice. Are you gonna do something about it? Or are you gonna continue in what's normal? Right.

SPEAKER_04 38:35

And so, you know, back real quick to my the reason I I wanted that statement out there that I would go to these conferences and have this check, like and and guilt. Because I I think that this idea is not going to be news to many of the drivers and strivers that we're talking about. They just don't know, as I didn't know, what to do about it.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

So here's what we're doing we're giving language to the felt need. People feel this, you feel it in your gut, it sits in your chest, it weighs on your shoulders. We know there's something wrong there, missing, going on, but we don't have language for it. And so I think what we're doing really is we are trying to give language, space, and then ideas on how we can address this and tools and tools. Yeah, absolutely. Because once we have awareness, like we just chatted about, we enter into that space of now will you make a decision to do something about it? But what do I do? Right. And so then we start to walk through a process. Here's what you could do. Here's some things that we've done, here's some things that we are doing. And at the time, when you said, let's work on this project, and well, maybe it's not just for us, maybe it's for other people too. Um, when you first talked about visioning and mission and purpose, I wasn't even ready to go there because I wanted the safety and security of my life raft being built. And then once we did that, I could think outside of that box. Yeah. And so I think we're also offering get your life raft built, know where everything is, get on the same page, transfer knowledge, understand what you have. And then you can go into this really fun space. Visioning, mission, purpose, why you're building wealth, what did it even matter? Why does it matter? Right? Does it just matter to retire? I mean, I hope not. You know, I hope that's not the only reason that we're working our tails off at the end of the day, is their mission, vision, and purpose. So I think though, again, we just the shifting in these roles. You started to hear me. We started to come together and make space and carve out time. And it was hard. It's still hard. But we said, we're just gonna build the plane as we're flying it. You said we're building this plane as we're flying it. And I said, that's okay as long as we're building it.

SPEAKER_04 41:19

And I think you you said something there that is uh really interesting. It's still hard. It's still hard. And it's it's hard because when we're at when we're at business, when we're at work in our business, we have boundaries. We have we do have roles. We have roles and responsibilities, we have expectations often put on us by other people. And we have to fulfill those expectations. And so uh that can mean there are regular meetings that we have to attend, that there are to-dos we have to uh achieve each each week. There are you know, goals or things we're working on projects, so there's a lot of um uh clarity and organization within uh our work environment that is is challenging, certainly could be done, but it's challenging to put that same structure in place in a house. Yes. So we have we have kids going in different directions, we have, you know, uh this or that emergency that that pops up when we were supposed to be having that family meeting, or hey, you know, if if given the choice between I'm working on something that has to be delivered to a client, or hey, my my boss or or you know, my partner needs something in that, and there are deadlines or real timelines versus well, we're preparing for a family meeting for this Friday night. Guess what gets put off, right? Guess what gets put off when you get home and uh neighbor knocks on the door and needs help? Okay, so there are so many things that bring contingency.

SPEAKER_02 43:19

You're just flat out tired.

SPEAKER_04 43:21

You're you're tired.

SPEAKER_03 43:22

So you're just tired. So it is You want to put your socks, your comfy socks on and your sweats and kick your feet up. You don't want to talk about, oh, let's update, you know, our financial spreadsheet. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:36

So we we are advising that for many families, we're gonna talk about this in in greater detail, but you have Life RAF that creates the foundation, that creates the awareness, creates the um shared language, it it creates the safety and security. That is step one. Step two. Now we can start to have mission and purpose. Now we can start to dream together, have vision, create core values, all the that piece that we'll talk about. Okay, let's just stop there for a moment. Are we done? No, because this thing over here continues to change.

SPEAKER_02 44:21

The life wraps.

SPEAKER_04 44:22

Values change, new investments are made, you know, on and on and on. That's that's in constant flux. This continues to change because maybe it's it's as simple as our kids are at different stages of life now. So our mission and vision is starting to change, or you know, our core values are we we need to adjust. So change happens. Okay, so can you be can you do this, put it on a shelf and be done?

SPEAKER_01 44:48

No, no, it's a living document. We'll talk about that.

SPEAKER_04 44:51

Rhythms and patterns, the the cycle we call it life raft, life map, life cycle. And and so we're we we have to keep this going.

SPEAKER_03 45:00

Okay, there's a cadence that will come in.

SPEAKER_04 45:02

There's a cadence, yeah, which is frankly the hard part, right?

SPEAKER_01 45:07

That cadence is the hard part.

SPEAKER_04 45:09

That that's when so when you say it's still challenging, yeah, okay. We've we've largely done this. Yes, it isn't perfect. We're we're adding to it, it but it's changing. We've done the mission and purpose. We we've talked through it, we've you know written down the ideas, but what is continuing to be hard is is this rhythm and pattern of and and I love how how uh a counselor called it a predictable pattern, right?

SPEAKER_06 45:41

Yeah that creates a really good predictable pattern.

SPEAKER_04 45:43

That creates um predictable patterns create safety and security, right? Absolutely. So yeah, we think that as in any hero's journey, the the listeners here, the entrepreneurs, the spouses, the families are the heroes of their journey, and they need a good guide.

SPEAKER_01 46:00

They do.

SPEAKER_04 46:01

And it's that that guide that will take them through these cycles, these patterns that will help build, because we know as a wealth advisor, this is my this is my world creating this stuff. Okay. The entrepreneur that's out there running a construction company may not be equipped to build this and communicate to their spouses. So we're saying, hey, a guide, but also the guide is do we need to have conversations facilitated around mission and purpose as a family meeting in including going down into next generations, um, educating them potentially even for the succession and transition things that will come up.

SPEAKER_03 46:52

What do families ignore at first and what price do they pay? I think family at first, this is hard. This is a lot. There's so much here. Uh I just can't do this today. And you keep putting it off and putting it off and putting it off. But we talk about you've got to choose your heart, right? This is a hard process, but once you do the work, the hard work, it's good work, it feels good. And then it becomes better as you get that fun, you know, those fun steps, values, vision, mission, it's purpose. But if you don't do anything, one day that that will come back to you. Right. You could be in the situation where the worst does happen and you've done little to prepare. And then someone is left in the weeds. Right. And so I think the the price that you're paying is living many years with this unsettledness instead of living with a lot of years of community and partnership and fun and vision and that mission and purpose, or you're living in this space of always unsettled, never really sure of what's going on, don't really know what we have, don't really understand it, just kind of confused and in the gray space.

SPEAKER_04 48:10

So what's choose your hard? So business people, investors think in terms of return on investment.

SPEAKER_02 48:19

Yeah, your ROI.

SPEAKER_04 48:20

Okay. So shifting roles at home. Okay, you're becoming my advisor. Talking in ROI and you know. All right. So return on investment.

SPEAKER_03 48:32

Let's talk about that for a second. We've shifted in roles. What am I doing now?

SPEAKER_04 48:36

Well, you're for one, you're on the Worth Beyond Wealth podcast with me. You're writing a book, you're building a system, you're in here helping with marketing. Um you're you're taking on a lot of of new and uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_03 48:57

It's all fascinating.

SPEAKER_04 48:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:59

Some of it is boring, I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_04 49:01

And and and not every spouse is gonna dive into nor should they. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 49:06

And here's the other thing. I had to not just accept, but I think give myself permission to relax in. I don't have to be an expert. I don't need to become a financial advisor. I have one. And there's a great team here at RW.

SPEAKER_04 49:23

Who not how.

SPEAKER_03 49:24

Who not how. And bolstering up my knowledge base and and getting getting my feet wet and starting to practice some of these principles and learning more, that has been fabulous. That that that self-development has been great in this space. And maybe that's enough, right? For someone else, maybe all they want is to create the life raft and then have the regular cadence with the updates. And that's enough. And that's also okay.

SPEAKER_04 49:55

Yep. So I'm gonna ask you a question. You laid out two paths do nothing, right? Do something.

SPEAKER_02 50:04

They're both hard.

SPEAKER_04 50:05

Right. Do nothing is you know hard and and drift and and and unsettledness and un insecurity and lack of safety, potentially, all of these things. And here it's hard because look, doing something is hard. It's it's organization. It might be expensive to pay somebody like us to walk through this with you because it's a very involved process. But when we think about that expense, time, money, um, investment, uh of whatever it is, what is the return on that investment?

SPEAKER_03 50:50

Peace, safety, security, shared, we've said it five times, maybe more mission goals, you know, weight purpose.

SPEAKER_04 51:00

Can you put a number on it?

SPEAKER_00 51:02

How do you mean that?

SPEAKER_04 51:04

What is the so so a good investment in um in our in our world? If if I said, hey, Shannon, let's invest money in this and it's going to return um 30% a year, that would be a phenomenal investment. It that that investment, by the way, will double it at something like uh in every every couple of years.

SPEAKER_03 51:27

So I'm gonna ask you, what do you think the return on investment?

SPEAKER_04 51:30

I think the return on investment for this is infinite. I think you cannot put a number on it. It's not like any other investment you'll ever make. You're investing in the flourishing of your family.

unknown 51:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:44

Yeah. It it but that's an important concept because we think in terms of return on investment. I love what Dan Sullivan said at strategic coach in in one of my first sessions when I would uh I had him in Toronto as a coach, and he said, I view every expense as an investment.

SPEAKER_01 52:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 52:04

So I remember that. This is an investment in the flourishing and joy and peace of your family, potentially for generations.

SPEAKER_03 52:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:16

And I and I think that's not.

SPEAKER_03 52:17

And I think I'm gonna even bring that even into some really practical spaces. I think it is good for your physical health. I think it is good for your mental health, I think it is good for your relational health, your spiritual health. I think it's good for every aspect of your life.

SPEAKER_04 52:30

Yeah. I mean, we're very much looking at at Life Raft as a very holistic system. It's holistic. Um yeah. So if you could summarize the wake-up call in one sentence, what what would it be?

SPEAKER_03 52:45

I realize what I don't know. Please help me. I'm drowning. I need the life raft, I need to understand. I want to speak with people, I need to feel more control. It was an out of control feeling.

SPEAKER_04 53:01

You felt out of control.

SPEAKER_03 53:03

So I would say it was a moment of I'm scared.

SPEAKER_04 53:06

Yeah. And that, you know, like I said, I I had my own journey in this. I I had my own feelings, and that wasn't because of anything you were putting on me. I knew it. I knew that there was a lack of connection over these pieces in our lives. But but again, didn't know how to do it. So I think the other thing that I would say So I have I have guilt right when I when I hear that, and I think that a lot of spouses do.

SPEAKER_00 53:36

So now they do. But guilt isn't the point there.

SPEAKER_04 53:40

It should be okay. Is that is that moment going to turn into okay, well, let's do something about it.

SPEAKER_03 53:48

Yeah, I hope so. Yeah. And it and it was for us. There was there was repentance and forgiveness and and and community and relationship, and let's do something about this. We're not willing for this to to go, we're not willing for this to get a foothold that it shouldn't have. Yeah. Um but there was something too that came probably in the process or before this. You Kate, you did come to me at one point and and said, Well, what what investment would you like to make next? What would you choose? And I cried.

SPEAKER_04 54:23

And I think what's interesting about that, uh, you know, we hadn't gone through all of this. I was trying.

SPEAKER_00 54:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:30

But did you have any perspective or or context for even speaking into that? No. Right? So you didn't know.

SPEAKER_03 54:41

I said no one's ever asked me that.

SPEAKER_04 54:43

Yeah. And and so I was putting the cart before the horse. Right. Because I'm now saying, hey, Shannon, make an investment, which involves a lot of different things, but you don't even know, well, how much money do we have to make an investment?

SPEAKER_03 55:00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 55:00

Well, where's where's our other stuff? Yeah. What's the purpose of it? Right. So there's there are all these things. Um, but I was trying, but right now we think we have a better, uh, better mousetrap for putting this together. Yeah. I I think um I wrote down something in thinking about this question. Uh so I didn't have the the wake-up call, but I'm summarizing it. And I said, we all want to live a meaningful and flourishing life. And at some point in each of our lives, we recognize that this can only happen with a great deal of intentionality. And I think that was that's part of the awareness that we had, right?

SPEAKER_03 55:47

It it and the but here's something that's really interesting. How would you summarize it? And I said, I'm scared. And you would summarize it as we all want deeper meaning in our lives.

SPEAKER_06 55:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:57

Well, the foundation of your pyramid, that safety and security, yep, was already there.

SPEAKER_06 56:02

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 56:02

You could think about vision. I couldn't because I didn't feel safe.

SPEAKER_06 56:08

Right.

SPEAKER_03 56:08

So I think what we're offering here is space to not be okay and then get okay. Let's get okay. Let's be okay. Yeah. Are we going to be okay?

SPEAKER_04 56:22

We said we, you know, I said the other day at a in a public speaking uh forum. I said, you know, it's okay to not be okay.

SPEAKER_00 56:33

It is.

SPEAKER_04 56:34

And and we want our listeners to hear that. It's okay to say, I'm scared, I don't understand.

SPEAKER_01 56:40

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 56:41

We we want this this I feel guilty. Tool platform is intended to provide a space for having conversations.

SPEAKER_03 56:51

And questions are not stupid. No, wait, wait, when's and this has happened, we've been in situations where you've been speaking and I can see it on someone's face and I know what they're feeling. I am afraid to ask what that means. And I and I've put my hand on you said, could you explain? And then the person says, Yeah, I didn't I didn't know what that meant. But they were afraid to speak.

SPEAKER_06 57:13

Right.

SPEAKER_03 57:14

It was afraid to ask. We've got to get away from that.

SPEAKER_04 57:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 57:20

We've got to get away from that.

SPEAKER_04 57:21

I want to add one thing before we move on to um topic two, and it relates back to the the book you brought out. This um you you started talking about um often women who uh have now they they lose a spouse and then they also find themselves in in charge of money.

SPEAKER_03 57:43

So that's something that's really important, often statistically speaking, yeah, who dies first.

SPEAKER_04 57:49

Yeah, and and that's that's where I was going. So you have um in these striving entrepreneurial households, from what we have seen, it's and from the data 70, 80 percent men, and then of course 20 or 30 percent women, and what is the likelihood? So I I looked through uh a lot of our clients and I said, okay, who uh who are the clients in in this practice that have lost spouses? And I looked and it's it was something like 90 women who we are serving who have lost spouses. Yeah. So if it's 80% here, but 90% of them are going to go first, then what we have is a situation where a very high percentage of women in these relationships are someday going to find themselves in charge of what we call, and I said to you, a family business. Now, we don't want that to get lost in the terminology of, well, we don't own a family business. No, this is your family's enterprise.

SPEAKER_03 59:12

Your business.

SPEAKER_04 59:13

So we call it living in family enterprise.

SPEAKER_03 59:15

Family enterprise. So these matriarchs are now in charge of this family enterprise. Which and the 90% who died had 90% of the knowledge. Which we better better bring up this 10%.

SPEAKER_04 59:26

These family enterprises are larger than most businesses ever become. Most businesses never uh achieve more than a million dollars of sales. So these these family businesses can be far larger than any true business, right? So these this is an important thing they find themselves in charge of. And sometimes we hear, well, I I, you know, it my sons will help, or you know, I heard someone the other day, I hope my son would help me. And that may be that may be okay. The problem is in our industry, the a problem, we do continuing education all the time on elder abuse. And where is the most common source of elder abuse from people that are known to the person? So that may be a good solution and it may work out perfectly. But you, you and every spouse should have awareness and knowledge and at least have, as I love how you talk say it, you you use life raft language all the time. We can talk about that more, but you say there's an invitation to education. So you still need to know, you still, you still need to have awareness.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:41

Um we talk about anybody who's in your life raft, they need to be invited into that life raft.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:47

Right? Yep. They need to be people who have your interests at their heart, not just a fiduciary, but a steward. They need to be someone who's very much wrapped in what is best for you. You have to be safe. And if they haven't been invited into your life raft, they need to be excused if they're not a right fit. If they have been invited into your life raft, but they haven't proven to be who they said they would be, they need to be excused because it's your raft. That's really important.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:20

Let's um let's jump for a moment to a topic that summarizes a lot of what we've said already. Yeah. So we've built a mindset scorecard for the life raft concept. This uh a scorecard, and we'll we'll put this on our website uh where you can you can get a link to it um on this show.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:51

And I think we have this mindset, but there's also there's also an assessment, a self-assessment.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:57

Well, there so there will be when when our book is published, there will be self-assessments throughout that on specific topics.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:04

And maybe maybe that even helps to kind of build up to this mindset.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:08

I don't know Yep, possibly. So we've we've come up with eight mindsets, um, shared vision and goals. Well, I'm just gonna go through these and then we'll we'll come back and talk in turn. So shared vision and goals is is mindset one. Mindset two, communication and transparency. Mindset three, time investment in the family. Four, emotional connection and support. Five, financial security and understanding. Six, alignment on values and legacy. Seven, role clarity and partnership. And eight, crisis preparedness and resilience. So in a mindset scorecard, you go through, you think about it, where am I today? Put a score down, where do I want to be? Okay, so if we think about shared vision and goals, on the low end, we rarely discuss our long-term goals as a couple or family. I feel disconnected from the entrepreneur's vision. On the far side, the um, you know, the the highest point, we have a clear shared vision for our family's future that aligns with both our personal and professional goals. And we communicate about it. So that's that's a uh a sampling of these things. And and I don't know that we need to go through each one here. No, I don't know. We do provide, we want to provide a link, but these are the things, all of the big, broad 30,000 foot level things that that the Life RAF system is intending to address.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:50

And I think it's important to say if your score is initially low, that's okay. You have not failed. Yeah, that is your jumping off point to improve your score. That and that's encouraging, that's hopeful.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:06

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:07

I think too, this score is dynamic. It can feel different at different times. So initially I would have given it a low score, then I give it maybe a moderate score, then I give it a high score, go back to a moderate score. Just kind of where are we in the process? How is that cadence going? Oh, we've skipped a couple family meetings and I'm just feeling really disconnected right now. Uh well, that score's, I'm gonna take it down a little bit now.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:32

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:32

That's okay. That that's a temperature, that's a thermostat.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:37

Financial security and understanding. The low end of the score says I don't fully understand our financial situation and it makes me feel anxious or insecure.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:47

So I would have Is that where you were? Oh yeah. I'd have given you a big old number on that one.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:53

So we start at one. Would I have gotten a one?

unknown 1:04:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:58

Or was that a negative?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:00

Would there be a let's redo that? So you would have given me a one to three. I would have given you a one.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:06

Okay. Not a negative ten.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:08

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:09

See?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:10

Is that an option?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:11

I guess. As we move up the spectrum, I have a general idea of our finances, but I don't feel confident or involved in the planning process. And then as we move up the continuum, I feel secure and well informed about our finances, and I'm actively involved in planning and decision making. So, you know, just one more I wanted to go through so that people get a sense of how we're intending to move from where you are to where you want to be. And that there is hope. There is well, there's process.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:47

What do I want to see for? And I'm going to speak to women right now. I want women to walk away from this feeling. There's something you ask me a lot when I come back. I give you I give you an update. This happened today. I was able to answer in this way. I had this context. I was able to help this person, give them direction. You'll say, how does that make you feel? Does that make you feel empowered? Yes, it's very empowering. I want women to walk away feeling empowered. There are six female advisors here at RW. That is something that we are so proud of. They're killing it. And they're able to speak into other lives, right? So I want women to walk away feeling empowered. Often women are are um homemanning the ship. And often by default, within those silos and those roles.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:47

And we've even seen that if if it's a two-income household, that often women are still taking the the brunt of the household activities. So they're they're carrying often just a massive load.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:04

Again, people have the misconception that if a woman works outside the home for pay, she is familiar with family finances as well. Often the opposite is true. Working wives are often less involved in finances than non-working wives because they may feel they have no time to spare after coping with their job, household, children, and husband. Yeah. Okay. So I think it is very important to give this a little bit of attention.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:32

How do we start to give some construct to it in some of the tools in the life raft? And I want to say again, life is an acronym, living in family enterprise. Yep. We believe that most people consider their family to be the most important organization or enterprise in their lives. Absolutely. And so when we uh stand up to give keynotes at events or or talk to people, we we want to say, um, hey, how many of you have mission and vision, purpose, core values in your business? Hands go up. How many of you have regular cadence of communication, those rhythms and patterns we've been talking about? Yep, we do that. Right. We we have meetings on the same time every week. Um, how many of you have transferred really important key pieces of information to those people uh that need to know in case you weren't here? Yep, we've done that. Succession's an important part of a contingency plan. Um and and again, how many of you believe or would say your family is the most important organization in your life? Yeah, it is. Yep. Okay, how many of you have any of those things? Not not all. How many of you have any of those things within your family? And and so what we really are again building is a platform or a system to bring intentionality into the family so that we can stop the drift occurring. And that could be drift between spouses, it could be drift between parents and children. So it's drift somewhere within families because of these things. And um, and how do we bring the same level of intentionality into the home uh that we all uh take into the business?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:41

So um So on that topic, can can you think of a moment or can we think of a moment? Um we're living in family enterprise or life turned potential conflict conflict into deeper connection.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:55

I mean, is there is there one thing to draw? Do you have anything in mind?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:01

I'm thinking about one family in particular where the husband he began to have awareness that his wife was feeling insecure. And he went to her and let her know that he he recognized it. I think he did he say he wanted to be intentional about it, he wanted to start doing something about it. And they hadn't even done the work yet, but her response was to throw her arms around him and to hug him and to cry. She was just so thankful.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:36

Yeah, and this to to the point you you said a minute ago, this was somebody who had been in the workforce, uh, an attorney, very um tech savvy, but had been raising in about a decade or so raising a kid up. Um awareness or or touch with what what their wealth uh what was happening uh with their wealth. And yeah, um that was um a really moving story. Um, hey, I'm going to do something in that and that created that emotional response. Um I don't yeah, I in in our own life is where I was thinking too. Um, are there things, you know, I just think you being empowered and you having confidence and and knowledge is is empowering for me. It's it draws us closer together. We we have more things we can communicate about.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:41

Well, and I think there's something that's important to kind of piggyback on to that, and that is that unintentionally, one person can be carrying that load alone, but then as you're inviting somebody else in, you're sharing the load, right? So let's just give a really practical example. Is there enough insurance on the house?

SPEAKER_06 1:12:03

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:03

Normally you would have grabbed that piece of mail. You may or may not have read it. I'm grabbing them now. I'm intercepting them, I'm going through them. Ryan, hey, hang on a second. I'm just noticing, I don't know if we have enough insurance on the house.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:18

I don't know.

unknown 1:12:18

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:19

Hang on, let me let me make a phone call. Yeah, I'm not sure if that last appraisal, if if if we've insured appropriately. Sure enough, we hadn't. We were able to handle that, and everything was fine. But who caught that? And that was really helpful to you for me to have caught it, discussed it, and then managed it appropriately. And that might sound really silly, but I'm just gonna say I think there's two big wins there. The one person had been brought up and been allowed to enter in and had started to manage more. The other person didn't have as much on their plate, and it didn't get missed.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:01

Yeah. I mean it it's it's huge to be empowered and to um there's something else that I was thinking about saying. Um I think part of the problem in trying to answer this question is I think it cuts off problems before they become problems.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:21

Sure. It's a very proactive approach.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:25

So if I'm out making investments and I and I'm if if somebody makes investments and and uses cash flow that is needed for the next quarterly tax payment, and now when a tax payment comes, they're scrambling for cash, which is just frankly a very common thing for entrepreneurs to be outdoing. They absolutely get excited about the opportunity that comes across their desk and uh lo and behold, you know, aren't so excited about keeping the tax payment um at the front of their mind. And yeah, and so then that creates that creates stress and risk. So the more communication uh we can have, um the better.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:09

Right. So now in my phone, you know, I've got the alerts of when these tax payments are due. I can check in and say, okay, that money is sitting here in this account, it's ready to go. Um, hey, do you want to make okay? Well, as long as we have enough set aside, but what what if what if that wasn't happening?

unknown 1:14:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:28

Yeah. So there's there is a a lot of power in a lot of different ways that proactively cuts off conflict and and helps to to start to uh flourish together. So and you're sharing a load. How do we how do we start to educate? We I handed you a balance sheet. How do we start knowledge transfer? So you have somebody in our case who understood everything we had, and then somebody who didn't kind of understood some of it, but but many pieces you didn't. Um I hand you a balance sheet, and and this is where our in in the wealth advisory industry, that's often, you know, there's a balance sheet or there's a financial plan. Yeah. And and we can come back to that, but I I think that overall the industry does a reasonably uh poor job across the board. I would say most people, most people that we come across don't have good plans. Uh so I think the industry has a long way to go to to achieve to achieve that. And and so the balance sheet though doesn't cut it.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:39

No, it does not cut it. And I think that there's just some funny thinking back, just funny moments. And I think it's important to this is not a perfect picture. It's not always pretty. You have to give yourself grace space. We talk about permission to pause. Um, when we were first going through this, and I asked you, well, who would I go to if something happened to you? You were my advisor. Well, you would go to these people. Okay, so can I talk to them right now and just kind of, you know, kind of go over some things with them? And that would be great if we could just loop them in. You said no.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:14

I said, Well, why not?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:16

Well, because they wouldn't understand this right now. I'm the one who understands this. I'm really the only one who understands it.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:23

I haven't I haven't shared anything with them.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:25

I haven't shared anything with them. And I remember looking at you and just saying, Well, a lot of good that's gonna do me if you're dead, buddy. You're my advisor and you just died. And I was, I was just great. Yep. And and and just moments where we were sort of muddling through, figuring it out, you know, it was kind of funny, you know. And I K1. I was like, what the heck's a K1? You remember that?

SPEAKER_04 1:16:51

Let's for the moment though, the balance sheet. It it was so so yes, I felt like it was a mess. It's a mess, but it's it's a mess. A balance sheet doesn't suffice because it's just a reporting document. It says, here's a thing, here's its name, and here's its value. Like it's at its simplest level, a balance sheet says, here is an account and its value.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:16

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:16

Here's a piece of property and its value. Here's an investment in a small startup company and its value. Okay. That doesn't even begin. So what I gave you was beyond a balance sheet. So I just want to that's why I'm kind of stopping and saying, let's hold on for a moment before we start talking K1. Yeah. Because a balance sheet doesn't say that.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:38

But there were funny moments. That's the point where we were just muddling.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:42

Yeah, we're trying to figure it out. Yeah. So, but but this the reason we think there's something to be done here in improving how communication happens over uh investments and and you know, wealth advisory uh items is the things that the the basic tools don't cut it.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:06

No. And what I started to say to you because we had the interview process. So, okay, Ryan, if you you're my financial advisor. So from the grave, what would you tell me about this investment? And we would go line by line. What would you tell me? Should I sell this? Should I keep this? Okay, what do I need to know about this? Oh, okay, what would the capital gains be on that? Okay, what I didn't we just went through one by one.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:28

And you learned a lot of things.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:31

Like, well, there won't be gains on this because when I die, there will be a step up in cost basis. And so you won't pay too much. I've never heard of a step up. Yep. I had to understand that. Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:40

And why would and why would I know that? That's right. Why would I have to know that?

SPEAKER_04 1:18:46

So so the balance sheet we felt was insufficient. It's inadequate. And so what we have started to work out is what we call a life raft household summary.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:57

And how do people learn it?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:59

Oh, that was something we had to talk about. So many different ways of learning, right? Some are auditory, some are visual, some are kinesthetic. So some have components of all of these learning styles, and they need to be able to do that. So we're trying to give people tools in all different modalities, right? We're trying AI. We're trying to look at uh flow charts. We're trying to look at household summaries.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:32

So the timeline. One of the things that we're going after, though, is we've we've talked about a narrative, a story.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:39

A story.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:40

So instead of a balance sheet, we're talking about a household summary and what's on that household summary.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:49

Your story.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:50

Your story. Who, what, when, where, why, and how. Right. So this is just the summary. This is the essential pieces of information about each financial each asset, asset, each liability, each insurance policy, each piece of real estate, whatever it may be. This is the the short story, right? This is a summary. This isn't this isn't the long form narrative, but the short story of of that that thing. So um we had some aha moments, right? I mean, or still having them just around things that are as simple, and and when I say simple, I think it's simple. You may not. Our listeners may not. A 401k is just an account. Yeah. We're putting money into it. But when I started to lay out the narrative around the 401k, the things that I wanted you to be knowledgeable about, tax-deferred savings. How many pages was tax-deferred growth, Roth potential? It was a six-page document. Now, this is no, no, now I've moved away from the summary, okay? But there's so much there in every financial object. So that's the long form story. The summary we are building a tool for to get the who, what, where, when, why, how in a place where you can access it. This isn't just something you access if I'm gone. This becomes a platform that you can interact with. And to your point, the potential of having some AI in there where you can say, Hey, where is the 401k held? How's it invested? You know, what do I need to know about it that you know I may not think to ask? And and you can start to interact with the information in our in our surrounding our wealth that that um you don't have access to or capacity to interact with today unless you're talking to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:02

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:02

And and guess what? Like you said earlier, I may get home and you may want to ask a question, and I've been doing this all day long, and I don't feel like talking about that's never happened, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:22:13

Right. I don't know what you're referring to.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:15

I mean, and unfortunately, and we're trying to address this. Sometimes families get the worst of each other, right? We give our best at work, we give our best to our friends, we give our best to those we we want to go help. You'll love me anyway, even if I'm rude tonight. Yeah. So that's unfortunate.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:36

Or too tired.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:37

Yeah, too tired. So household summary is is one thing. We walk through that with every asset. In in in many of these households, there are um there are partnerships that own multiple sub assets. Okay, well, that needs to be clarified. And then becomes a place where the the documents and all of the, you know, maybe the PLs and all the different things can be loaded in that now AI can start to use and you can start to access.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:03

Just a side note here, making sure that that when you're communicating with professionals, let's just use a CPA as an example. This is actually a lived, this is lived experience. It happened to us recently. Um, I went to access some documents uh through our CPA. I couldn't access them because why?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:25

Under my social.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:27

Under your social. So I needed to contact them and they needed to realize that we needed to fix this.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:34

You needed your own login.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:35

I needed my own login effectively. And so we were able to correct that. Yeah. And then they could communicate with me, and then documents could come to me, and then I could get things taken care of. So just it it really will be eye-opening how many things start to reveal themselves as you're going through this process. Yeah. And they're wins in their celebration moments.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:01

So many families don't have a comprehensive platform, even provided by their wealth advisor, that communicates to them about all of their assets. Right. Okay. This industry, wealth advisory industry, does a good job reporting on the pieces that they are managing.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:28

That's correct.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:29

And so we're trying to take that further and deeper. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:34

Your story, your whole story.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:36

Your whole story. So your house, your cabin, your you know, whatever it is, all of the nine insurance, your financial savings account, your health savings account, everything. Everything, all the all the private placements, all the the private equity funds. If there are things held outside of that advisor's purview, sometimes those are put into a financial plan. Often they are. Yeah, and and those get and those get missed. And as an advisor, well, that's not my action item because I have nothing to do with that asset. But we're trying to take that deeper with with our clients and provide more more concierge service in that respect. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:42

So and more education and awareness, therefore leading to empowerment.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:47

Yeah. So household summary, uh, life raft household summary, uh, who, what, when, where, why, how. Now, cash flow. And and you mentioned a flow map. Did you always understand how money flowed through our no?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:06

Because how many accounts do we have and how many banks do we utilize?

SPEAKER_04 1:26:10

I have to have my flow map to answer that question. There we go.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:15

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:16

I can think of three banks right off the top.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:22

And the way the money flows through those banks, it is very interesting. The flow map. So this is something that would be, it's just kind of a fun, uh, fun fact. Um, we had a gentleman here um actually interning with us. PhD. It's kind of a fun little twist. Genius.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:44

And I had him say his name, so you just called Pete a genius. I did call Pete a genius. We need to make sure Pete listens to this episode.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:51

He's a lovely, lovely man, and he is he is a genius. But I asked Pete, you know, okay, Pete, if you, if you, you know, looking looking at everything that you've seen here, all of our stuff and your PhD in economics, is this complex? Yes. Would if you didn't understand any of this, what would that create? Because that'd be anxiety producing. Yes. So I think it's so important for people to pause and understand the complexity that comes often, again, in entrepreneurial financial pictures. I don't think we can, I don't think we can it's different than most balance sheets, which is why we're trying to build out so it's different.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:44

It's so complex. I mean, we've talked to people with with, you know, if we all we all have seen organizational charts and and and a labyrinth of accounts and and investments. And and when I said, hey, what does your spouse say or think when They see this. Oh, they've never seen it. They've never seen it. These, you know, there are things.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:06

And we've worked with people, you've worked with people that they don't even remember what they have.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:13

It's a we ask leading questions to try to keep drawing out more and more information.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:19

And then like a month later, oh, I forgot. I also have oh wait, I didn't remember this property. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:26

So the the flow map is to really understand to make it tangible.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:32

How does sort of this nebulous thing?

SPEAKER_04 1:28:34

You know, in in with this tool, we're not trying to say, here's the here is the exact amount of money that's coming from this source going to this.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:42

We're trying to say it's a flow map.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:44

The flow. Where's the where does it come from generally? Think of it like from that account. Where does that flow? Yeah. How do you things get funded? We can put some notes on there, but it gives you, I think that's perhaps the one tool that's given you the most peace or the most. I've really enjoyed it. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:02

The other one that I've really loved has been the timeline. Okay with action items. Yeah. So I know on a calendar year when accounts need to be funded, when something needs to be paid, when distributions need to be. I I now, again, I will say things that are very nebulous and kind of floating around because it's not in your everyday uh line of sight or thought, when it's on this concrete page with to-dos, it's so lovely. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:36

And you know what you're drawing out there is just the complexity that exists in the various points in in of in our financial lives. So so there's taxes, there's funding deadlines, there's there's different tax-based deadlines for putting money into different types of accounts.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:01

There's federal, there's distributions, there's, I mean, you go on and there are all sorts of strategies. And yeah, the strategies one of the things I I want to point out. And I rely on you for that, and I've accepted I don't need to be an expert. You're an expert, but we're working together.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:20

One of the things that um was an aha when we started doing this is the number of uh very high net worth entrepreneurial families that don't right now have a lot of liquidity. Yeah. And so they aren't working with a wealth advisor, a financial planner who is investing their money, which is often when many people go to an advisor like us, is is when they have money to invest. And what we're seeing is these families have all of the needs, in fact, in many cases, more needs for planning and consulting. Absolutely. And and all the to-dos and the strategies.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:13

So they have high net worth, but they don't have a lot of assets and they're not working with somebody. So a lot of things are getting good advice.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:21

They're they're getting no advice, right? And so, you know, we want to say there there is um a lot to do even before potential liquidity events. In fact, um a friend of ours uh we'll will probably have on uh at some point um has as a business uh consulting companies to get exit ready. Hey, what are all of the things that you need to do in your business to get exit ready? And the big aha, as we've talked with him, was this is about getting your family and the entrepreneur exit ready. Okay, so there's a lot of work, including financial strategies, including getting money potentially outside of the business to start to the right, does it create safety and security and peace? Yes, when every dollar that's made in the business gets reinvested in the business, gets reinvested into illiquid investments like pieces of property.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:21

So life raft language there, you would say throwing money over the wall.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:25

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:25

Are you throwing money over the wall to your family?

SPEAKER_04 1:32:28

From the business to the family, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:32:31

Right. Or is it always just getting reinvested into the business?

SPEAKER_04 1:32:34

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:35

In which case the family has no visibility. You tell us, and this is these are conversations we've had. You you tell us we're growing our wealth. You tell us the business we're improving.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:48

Everything's fine.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:49

Why don't we see anything? Why do all of your employees have new cars and campers and snowmobiles? And we don't, because they don't even it's not visible.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:00

Let's go even something more base needs. We have this technical still coming. I I don't understand how we're going to pay it because my account only has this much money in it. Yeah. That's really scary.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:12

Lots of things happening in these families. And so the life raft is is all around. Like again, we can't say the word enough. It's it's intentionality. We have to have the same intentionality in our families. Look, we don't want to create a cold, rigor, bureaucratic system within a family. Like you may be thinking that your your spouse lives in at work. We don't want to create that. That we think a lot of a lot of spouses despise the the structure that their uh spouse working spouse or the spouse in the business.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:57

That's taking you away from me. That's taking you away from us.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:00

But we do need intentionality, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:34:02

So um and we have some fun ideas too in the book on how to include kiddos, on how to have family time around this.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:09

Another um, so you've mentioned we we talked about um the the flow map, cash flow. Yep. So cash flow is a really big one. Um, people often will think about oh, how much do we make? Um, how much do we spend? Don't really think about cash flow. And in in entrepreneurial families, again, this could be a wide variety of definitions there. Cash flow doesn't come in the form of $10,000 every month or $100,000 every six months. It comes in the form of sometimes a very consistent draw that represents a pretty small portion of income for that household. Right. And then big sporadic chunks as businesses might get sold, transactions happen with outside investors, um, you know, distributions come from profits and however your company pays those out quarterly, semi-annually.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:09

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:09

And so we need to, as a family, we need to understand how that cash flow is coming into the household and and when can we do, you know, what is the monthly cash flow for? What do we we how much do we have? Where is that going? What's being funded from that? Is that the 401k? Is that health insurance? Is that our regular? Is that what we live on? And then the sporadic cash flows cover other things. Um, so do you want to has that tool or that concept been been helpful at all?

SPEAKER_03 1:35:48

Yeah, I mean, again, these are all mindset shifts. Okay. These are all mindset shifts. So once you've shifted the mindset, you can begin shifting the action. And once you shift the action, the the benefits start to to come, right? You start to have that fruit being produced from that. And so what's what's some of the benefit that we've seen? Um better communication, ability to connect, ability to be more intentional, to plan, to have that purpose. All of those things have started to come. Kids understanding, kids asking questions, family as a whole, involvement. So that's been um that's been fun.

unknown 1:36:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:37

Um, if a listener wanted to start tonight, what would be the very first action they could take?

SPEAKER_04 1:36:41

One more thing that we're we're missing there on on some of these tools that I know is near and dear to your heart. Who's in your life raft?

SPEAKER_03 1:36:50

Who's in my life raft? You want me to tell everybody? No, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:53

But that is a a tool that we think is is so pretty much.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:57

Okay, you're not asking me specifically who's in my life raft. I was like, well, I can tell people who's in my life raft. Um yeah, the who's in your life raft tool is really important to me. But I did hit on that earlier when I said if they are in your life raft and they don't belong in your life raft because either they were not invited, someone put them there, or they haven't proven to be safe, they get excused. Anyone who's in your life raft and we'll give you there are it is a place of honor. There are the and and we will help you with who should be in your life raft because who are who are some essential people for a life raft. But being in your life raft, that is a place of honor. Yeah.

unknown 1:37:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:39

These are trusted, safe people who again are stewards.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:43

We are in a lot of people's life rafts.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:47

And we take it very seriously.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:49

We haven't called it that over time, but as we work with clients, it is such a privilege to walk with people through we we call it life's transitions.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:58

Planned and unplanned.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:00

Summer planned, weddings.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:03

Uh, but we get to go through. It's really fun when we get to send them. New children, new grandchildren.

unknown 1:38:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:09

It's fun when we get to send flowers for those things, and it's really, it's really um. Remember we walk with them through death.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:15

Through deaths, yep. Yeah. And and yet often, and and you know, in some cases, um we've been the first call when there's a diagnosis. Hey, I just got diagnosed with a brain tumor, and I'm so thankful that you're there to walk with.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:34

I think it brings tears to both of our eyes as we think about these things. We're both getting a little emotional here because there's so much weight to being in someone's raft.

unknown 1:38:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:48

It is it's humbling. It is too important and too privileged, privileged of a position to allow somebody in there who just happens to be uh somebody you golf with, um, who doesn't know your wife and who frankly doesn't really care about your family. This is is it, are these the people you trust to take care of your family if you were gone? Yeah. And if they're not, the change has to happen yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:20

That's right. I think I do think I was just thinking there's something I do want to address here, and that is that during this process of um awareness and this this process of learning um this journey. One thing that's become so clear is that you have to be humble and vulnerable. And those um humble isn't something that we genuinely struggle with as far as like that's a hard thing for me to think about having to become humble. Um, but vulnerable that can stick in the craw a little bit, right? That that one's a harder swallow. Um, I have to be vulnerable.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:02

And you're probably already feeling vulnerable. You were feeling vulnerable.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:05

I was feeling vulnerable.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:06

So now vulnerable vulnerable means I have to be vulnerable with somebody. I have to let it be known. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:16

Yeah. So I guess, you know, and Brene Brown has done a lot of great work in that space. Um, and you know, has has been really helpful for me. Vulnerability, though, what I would encourage people to get their heads around vulnerability can be so freeing and empowering because you're just becoming okay with not being okay, like we talked about. You're becoming okay with not being the expert, you're becoming okay with asking questions, you're becoming okay with there are things I don't know. I can't know what I don't even know to ask. So getting in that space of I'm on a journey, I'm learning, I'm getting stronger all the time, I'm becoming empowered. And there are days when it's still really hard. It's it's still so difficult. And and there is that that that mental game, right? But you have to just, I would say, reset and start again. Be okay with vulnerability. It will serve you well in your life rap journey.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:28

So so far has it been fulfilling?

SPEAKER_02 1:41:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:34

Okay. But you didn't you didn't start out with this idea that I need to do something that's fulfilling. You started out with I'm scared, I'm anxious, we need to do something. But I think the the message I'm trying to get across there is it's meaningful when we go do hard things.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:55

Yeah, it's meaningful work.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:56

And and so it's not that it's not that you want to do this. Let's let's let's be it's hard. I think people need to hear that this isn't what I want to be doing on a Friday afternoon. This is hard. It's you're grappling, and and it's you know getting comfortable with with doing hard things, being vulnerable and and and something that's challenging. And when you get through to the other side, boy, there's a sense of accomplishment, there's a sense of empowerment, there's you've learned, you've grown. I mean, honestly, we only grow when we're stressed, right? We only grow when we muscle only builds when it's under under tension, under stress.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:39

That's that's that's the example right there is you know, as you break the muscle down and you stress the body in a in a positive way, positive stress here, not not a negative stress. The response is to build back stronger, better. Yeah. And that's what we're after here.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:56

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:57

That's what we're after. That there are some things that we have to do that are stressful, and it can feel like breaking. There's humility and vulnerability in it, but but the result, the the end fruit, that that product is that you should be building back better, stronger, more empowering.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:15

Yep. We want to um help help families uh build. So we've talked a lot today about the inception of the idea, the the wake-up call, um, and the the reasons, and then you know, some of the specific tools around building the the wealth components of the life rafter. And we start there because wealth, investments, money is the playing field of what we can do as a family. Yeah, right. That that's the tool of the game. And so it's hard to play the game, we think, without knowing what the tools are. What are the pieces to the the playing field, right? Yeah, uh, so um, that's why we start there. Now we're we went long today, and we're gonna have to come back and talk about the next components, the the the rest of the system life where we get into cycle, life moments, mission, purpose, purpose, the rhythms and patterns, and the celebrations.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:19

So really excited to do that because that's the stuff that makes it come to life to build the culture. Knowing your family balance, she doesn't build the culture, all this other stuff. And we did hard work today.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:32

We had to build the scaffolding.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:34

Culture is so is so good and fun and and uh what we can get excited about. So um soon to be back with uh with all of uh the rest of the system. And yeah um yeah, please reach out to us if you want to have a conversation about your life raft.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:51

Absolutely. Be happy to chat.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:55

Thank you for listening to the Worth Beyond Wealth podcast. If you liked this podcast, please like, share, and subscribe. The highest compliment you could give would be sharing this with a friend. Thank you. The opinions expressed in this program are for general informational purposes only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual or any specific security. RW Investment Management, LLC, DBARW Investment Management, is a registered investment advisor. Testimonials given by current clients are not in exchange for compensation. This document is solely for informational purposes. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where RWIM and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. Past performance is no guarantee of future returns. Investing involves risk and possible loss of principal capital. No advice may be rendered by RWIM unless a client service agreement is in place. RWIM is not a legal or tax advisor.