Worth Beyond Wealth | Ep 8: This Is a Human, Not a Transaction

If something happened to you tomorrow, would the people you love know what to do with the money? Would they even know who to call?

A historic amount of wealth is moving to women right now. Many of them have never been asked what they actually want.

Kim Jaques got into this business before she even finished college. She earned her Series 7 while she was still taking classes and working full time, and more than thirty years later she still has no interest in leaving. She is a CFP and a principal at R|W. Before she moved into advising she built and ran operations and worked in compliance, so she has seen this industry from just about every seat there is.

A lot of what Kim does comes back to one simple idea. The money is never really the point. She takes all the industry jargon and brings it down to plain language, so someone who is new to all of this can finally relax and start asking questions. The way she puts it, when a person trusts you with their money, they end up trusting you with their life. Most of her real conversations are about the things people will not even say to their own family.

In this episode, Ryan, Shannon, and Kim talk about why both spouses belong in the room, why no question is ever too small, and what it really means to be a good steward of someone else's life savings. They get into how people actually learn and hold onto hard information, why a balance sheet was never the whole story, and the question almost every family ends up asking... are we going to be okay?

They also talk about the wave of wealth moving to women, why so many women got left out of the money conversation for so long, and why real wisdom often means knowing when to bring in help instead of pretending to have all the answers. Kim shares what has kept her in this work for thirty years, and why she still treats every client as a person and never as a number.

If you have ever caught yourself thinking your family would have no idea where to start, this is the episode for you.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Well, we are here with Kimberly Jakes. We just chatted with Golly, Bajek, and Ziggis. It was a great conversation. We had lots of, I think she's on the almost fun. Almost fun.

SPEAKER_03 0:10

We had almost fun. Almost fun.

SPEAKER_02 0:12

We had fun. But um Kim is here with us today. She is a CFP, a principal, and a wealth advisor here at RW with three decades of experience. Yeah, that dates me.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

You are someone who has built and led operations. Um, you've done compliance before moving into advising. So you just really have had a wealth of knowledge that you've brought to the place that you're at today.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

It's all I know. It's all you know this industry completely completely, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

From the time you were baby. I just never wanted to leave.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Okay. Okay. So from the time you were out of school? No, I was in college. You were in college. I was taking college courses and I got my series seven while I was going to college and I work full-time. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

I love that. Okay. So talk about tenacity. Talk about tenacity. Just do it. Yeah. Yeah. And being able to speak into young ladies' lives. I think that's another big piece here. And and speaking of that, we we know that moral wealth is moving to women. You were we were chatting about that a little bit before the podcast, gearing up for this transfer of wealth that will be coming primarily to women when you look at the at the data. So the aim here at RW is to help keep it simple, help women feel prepared. That was the word that we that we used with um, well, that Raleigh said, prepared. Yeah. It really resonated with Raleigh. Um, and we agree, right? Helping them to feel ready and calm. Yeah. So I think we want to talk about that today because in your bio, you said, I knew I wanted to help people. How can we just kind of I think go into that? How can you help women who are new to finance, who are diving into this for the first time? What's been your experience?

SPEAKER_01 1:58

I think really educating, I think, people that, you know, and just taking all this jargon down to the basic level so people can understand it. So, you know, always when I'm dealing with maybe a new widow, or I tell them, I think we need to cover the basics so you kind of understand why you're investing your assets, because there's some critical things you need to stay ahead of, like inflation, right? And so I really think being able to care for where they are and understand that there is this learning curve they're gonna have, and making sure that we step back to get them the foundation of what they need. That is really taking the time, right? And so, you know, it's not a transaction at all. It's basically this is a human that needs my help. And I think that's what's kept me in this industry because time and time again, I've helped a widow after widow who's struggling and they don't know who to trust.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

And he's sad. That is incredibly powerful. What really hits me is how it just resonates throughout RW. You said this is a human and they need my help. This isn't a transaction, right? Um, Raleigh started to kind of tear up just talking about the humanity of working with with these people. These are these are not just clients, these are people. They're not numbers, they're not a file that goes into a cabinet, they are humans, and you have to earn their trust.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

It's not given, right? And so what do you do to earn their trust is just be another human back to them and just you know, show them that it isn't the transactions, it's about getting to know what's important in their lives. And I always say, you know, somebody trusts you with their money, they kind of trust you with their lives.

SPEAKER_04 3:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

And the majority of my conversations are them exposing some of the things they won't even talk to their own family about because they see that there's comfort in that that somebody's listening and somebody cares.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

What I hear you saying is that you are passionate about creating a safe space. Oh, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Definitely. You're all about it. Mm-hmm. That's the biggest thing at the end of the day. Well, I think that's our stewardship, right? And our servant mentality. You jumped right into stewardship. Yeah. She just took it there.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Well, it is. I love it. I mean, you started with what we call real wisdom. I mean, we educate, educate, educate because they're scared if they don't know. We're we we fear those things that we we don't understand. And and I'll just confirm, I mean, there's nobody at this firm or anywhere that cares more about their clients. I mean you and you you you fight for them. I mean, all cry every yeah. It's just um, I mean, it it just embodies who you are. It's it's powerful.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

It's just time and time again. Um, I tell my husband all the time we talk about retirement, and I'm like, I just don't know how I can step away from clients. Like that fills me up and you know, just being part of their lives and right and because and I think you said it, it's their money.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

If they trust me with their money, they trust me with their life.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

People don't expose their finances to very many people. And so when you have, you know, three decades of relationships, you've walked.

SPEAKER_04 5:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

I'm not talking performance in those calls ever. Yes. I'm talking about their family. How are you? How intense?

SPEAKER_02 5:23

Are you okay? What can they do?

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Yeah. Yeah. What what is it all about? What's what is the worth beyond the wealth?

SPEAKER_02 5:32

Right. Right. Right. So I think that's that's a great transition. It's talking about worth beyond wealth. In your words, what is worth beyond wealth and how do you see it show up in real life? When you're telling me your clients, you're humans.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Yeah. You know, I just had a meeting the other day and I could tell they're just a little apprehensive of all the noise. And well, what do you think? I think the markets brought the, you know, we kind of started the conversation and then I just educated. I was, I said, Oh, let's go back to the basics and we started saying why we're investing, what we're doing. And pretty soon, you know, I could see the worth because they said, Well, that's why we have you. That's why we trust you. I mean, those words came out of the client's mouth because I was able to step back and, you know, kind of rebuild that foundation of what we're doing. Take a bath to first steps. Yes. And this is, you know, we we're prepared for that. We're prepared if the market goes down. You don't have to worry. I do the worrying, which I don't worry much because I understand what's happening.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

Something you you said triggered this thought that, you know, we we talk about this, but I think without us as a guide, people that they came in and they were worried about whatever they were seeing on the news or hearing from friends. And it probably related to timing the market at some level, right? They're right. If they said the market's frothy, it means maybe we should get to the sidelines before it falls. Well, that's that's market type. Or maybe it's should we be buying gold or crypto or some safety, yeah, or should we, you know. So without us, people are kind of drawn to this siren song of what we call the illusions, but in investment selection, the illusion of investment selection or the illusion of market timing. But with us, we talked through that. So you talked through that with them. You didn't discount it and just move on. We you educated them, but then you turned it around and said, What is that's the wealth stuff, but what is the worth beyond that? Right? Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

You think that's yeah, but we're gonna resonate? Yeah, completely. We're gonna educate you through this. We're gonna educate you why we're doing what we do on your behalf.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

And now we get to go in and plan. Okay, now you now that we've dealt with that, what are your long-term goals? What are your dreams?

SPEAKER_02 7:51

You know, I mean, education though is so empowering. It's so empowering. I think that's that's what you're offering there, right? Is is taking away that fear. And I'm also hearing that psychology of money resounding. Again, we chatted about this, just you're the uh emotional barrier, right? Right? That they're coming in.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

It's a safe place for them to say, I have fear, and how many times they need to hide from other people, right? Like outside. And I mean, I get those phone calls. Oh, my, you know, I was at this party and people are telling me to invest in crypto. And I'm like, well, we don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

You know, you have to put on you're kind of using your mom voice a lot of times. Yeah, well, okay, well, let's entertain. What I do do.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Would you like to set up a play account?

SPEAKER_01 8:36

That's exactly it. That's exactly I know I'm not. I mean, if you want to go. If you want to do that, that's fine.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

Yeah. But yeah. A story that has reshaped how you think about safety versus performance. Can can you bring something up? What is anything coming to mind?

SPEAKER_01 8:51

I guess when I felt like I am an advisor, is we were getting ready to come over to Charles Schwab. So we had to move an entire book of business. And not only that, I was retiring a former partner. And this particular client only worked with the former advisor. He didn't do a lot of planning, so I wasn't involved. And um, I always kind of had this feeling like he just wanted that hot stock. And, you know, like, oh, is this gonna be a fit? And so he's like, okay, this is all getting dropped on me. You need to meet me at this restaurant and we're gonna have a talk. And so I went. I was nervous, but I just kind of said, I just gotta go in there and say what I do. And if it's not a match, it's not a match. And it was a larger client. He sat down and he looked at me and he goes, Okay, there's three rules I have. Don't lose my money, costs low, and I don't need to hit home runs. And I went, okay, this is not the, you know, that's exactly who I am, right? That's exactly where we're going. I got you, you know. And so he reiterated that he walked out the car, got all the paperwork and met for like an hour, signed it. We came over. He reiterated that like the next three years. He never had come into the office before with my former partner. Never. You always had to meet off-site. Interesting. One day he called and he goes, I'm coming in and having a cup of coffee.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

Wow. And so it was a compliment.

SPEAKER_01 10:13

It was a compliment. And he just, it's been where I realized he knows what our what we're doing. We're not we're managing his core well. We're not trying to hit home runs and tell him get into crypto because you're gonna make it. Because he doesn't want to see that go to zero because he's seen enough of that, right? Like you're a hot is not hot. Yeah, this is over time. Yeah, but yeah, yeah. And he's watched his wealth build and he's been really happy.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Well, you've it sounds like you've built trust beyond what everyone's gonna do before through relationships, through different conversations that centered probably more on worth.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

Yeah, yeah. And we um, you know, COVID came and I was a safe haven for him to talk about his frustrations with his business. And wow. So yeah, it's just a compliment. Well, it's it's just naturally happening. It's not like I'm forcing it, right? No, it's organic. Yeah, it's organic, and I realize that's maybe something I'm comfortable doing with people is providing that trust. So they're not worried.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Being a guide through the inevitable storms.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Yeah, right. Has that experience changed the way you advise in general? Is it has it has it fed the way that you approach clients?

SPEAKER_01 11:28

A little bit because I think I think core wealth always, you know. Core wealth, yeah. That's what it brought to you. Yeah, it's real wealth, right? Real wealth. I want to be responsible for for the real wealth to get you to your goals. This is how we, you know, we're gonna manage this responsibly. Just getting the permission from somebody I thought was interested in something else really solidified that people just want that piece, no matter how much they have in assets.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

And and the way they may come in and appear on the surface. Yeah, if you'll take the time to really dive in and know them, it's completely different.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

You know people. Oh, yeah, definitely. I've introduced my family to some of my clients, you know, but and they they're invested in my family too. Wow.

unknown 12:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

We get to walk with people, I would say m much more than their attorney, but much more than their CPA. I mean, you've you brought up that you were the first call. I know you've walked with many widows to this day. What gives you joy when you're working with clients?

SPEAKER_01 13:03

No. Just knowing that they're taken care of, that somebody cares about them. You know, that's I think everybody just wants somebody to know their story and we let them tell their stories, right? Right. And so we value that. Yeah, you listen and you value who they are as human beings.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

We we opened up with saying we know more wealth is moving to women, and you just said you work for a lot of widows. And we know that um the data is saying that, oh, 124 million by trillion. That's what I meant. Trillion by I should look at my own notes, by 2045, 2045. Um, and a lot of that being um inherited wealth, a lot of widows, uh baby fumers. Um talk about what is percolating for you with knowing what's coming and your heart to serve. I think you have a heart to serve widows. What is in your mind as you think about women and wealth and the fact that many women are reporting feeling unprepared to to manage the windfalls of inheritance? Uh, there's a low confidence in managing inherited wealth. There's a significant share of women who have yet to even open an investment account. Why is that what is that saying to you?

SPEAKER_01 14:23

So we need to educate the next generation as well. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

I mean, I think, you know, I I hear that there's there's a lot of vulnerability can be so powerful, but I'm hearing that there's a vulnerability here that could be dangerous. And that kind of sends up a red flag for me. Like education is critical right now. What do you say to that?

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Well, I think we need to, as a firm, probably get some things in place for clients, right? And kind of have maybe even a little mini university of, you know, here are some resources and kind of a toolkit for those people that come into wealth unexpectedly. But we also need to train that next generation. And really, I think we've we're doing a good job of really trying to find culture fits and finding those people that really won't have the heart to serve. Because I don't I don't think a lot of people just naturally have that. They have to really want to serve people.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Because you've said over and over this is relationship, this isn't a transaction for you. No, it never has been. Just and not for anyone. Yeah. At RW. It is not a transaction. No, this is a human. This is a life story. I am privileged and humbled to get to walk with you in your journey.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

I feel like it's what I'm supposed to do is serve in this capacity. So I think that's just what I'm giving back. That's my give back and then to give back.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Speak to that a little bit. Just how what do you see coming? And what do you so education? If you think about widows that you have worked with up until this point, what have you learned? What have you gleaned from those experiences that you think you could even take that further into well, I think especially working with widows, you know, you have health issues as well.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

So a lot of dementia is happening, right? And then they sometimes their families aren't able to support them in this realm, right? And I've been in situations where I I kind of protect their wealth from those family members. Interesting. Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Well, that's an interesting statement because we we talked about how many of the people who lose spouses end up being women. Yes. So women naturally uh are helped. I mean, so women are going to find themselves, statistically speaking, in charge of money. And and if they've never done that, that can be overwhelming. And I've heard from some people that the statement might be made well, I have sons. Or my kids will help. Right. Yeah. Now you're speaking to maybe another side of that. And maybe, maybe that's not just the answer.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Right. Right. And you have kids that they think they know is, you know, a certain investment that they should do, and not a lot of times that's not in their best interest. But have they been educated?

SPEAKER_02 17:16

I mean, you said this next gym there needs to be education. So what if they're not aligned?

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Yeah. And a lot of times they're not, quite honestly.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

And competing interests, right? Um the more money that's maybe a parent doesn't spend is left to the next generation.

SPEAKER_04 17:30

I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

And unfortunately, we know, and we're and certainly not speaking of any particular situation, but we know that often elder abuse happens at the family in life. You know, because of family. Yep. Right. So so there's some risk there if you if you just say, I don't want anything to do with it.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Yeah, right. Right.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Have you seen any not elder abuse, but have you seen or encouraged, um, had to encourage and bring along spouses who maybe didn't want to be involved.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Oh, yeah. All the time. A lot of times. I'll be laughed and they come into this meeting. Oh no, they don't want to make it, right? And and that's for me frustrating because there's a whole side that's not learning um because they just let the spouse do immediately.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

And there's probably an assumption being made. I j I won't understand it. I'm not interested because it's just about money and he has that handled, or yeah, whatever the case may be. But they're missing out on all of the the dreaming, the goals, the the things that I mean you've already brought up aren't around money, and they would understand. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

So we're talking about in the the the program that we're working on that the life route, part of that, a big part of that is life, living in family enterprise. And that's what I'm hearing you say is educating your family, having next-gen preparedness, having everybody on the same page and living in family enterprise, goals, dreams, mission, vision, purpose. Are we all on the same page? Yes. And including everyone. There's a voice, you know, it's not just there's one person and they're in charge of everything, and we just all kind of go along and then we have questions at the end of the day because we're frightened because we don't know. You're saying no, this is invitational.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 19:17

This is invitational.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

There's an education to be had. Even during the meeting, I'll a lot of times stop and go, are you following this? Right. And wow. You know, we and I think the, you know, when we go through the planning, touching on the goals, touching, I think that's where you do see the other spouse realize this is kind of like this is about us, right? You're not just giving me numbers. This, this is, you're talking those goals. You're talking what we have. I'm seeing it on a page. So really diving into the planning and kind of their priorities tends to engage the other spouse that may not have really been interested before.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

And there's something I'm hearing there too. You know, you said you really think education, education, education. I agree with you. I'm I'm hearing it speaking to learning styles. That's what I'm hearing here a little bit. A little bit, yeah. Yeah. Um, maybe it's not auditory. Maybe, maybe once it's on paper, yeah. And I'm a visual learner, right? Maybe I'm Socratic. I need to have this back and forth conversation. I need to be able to read and process and ask questions. And I'm hearing learning styles here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:23

And you see that? Definitely. And and if some a spouse seems to be struggling, I'll say, Do you need a one-on-one session with me? Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

So you're you're willing to coach. Yeah. So when Raleigh was in here, we were talking a little bit about if if a woman were to say to you, I'm really embarrassed to ask this question. I'm so intimidated right now. I I don't want to ask you this. What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01 20:44

Oh, ask away. Like that's that's what I'm here for. Yeah. This is my job. You need to understand what we're doing.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

Yeah. And one of the things it gets really personal to me is, you know, as as I've endeavored to learn and been on this journey, I've I've, you know, why why would you know that? Giving yourself permission to say, well, why would you know that? Of course you wouldn't know that. So you have to ask. You know, by trade, I'm in healthcare. And I asked myself this thing, well, Brian, why would you know that? So just ask me. Yeah, right. Exactly. You wouldn't have to know that. And I think I had to learn, and I think you would say this to a spouse you don't have to be an expert. That's your job. Right. But you do have to trust me and have a relationship with me and know that I want, I am invested in you. Correct. And I want to educate you, and I want you to feel so no question is stupid or too base.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

And I even a lot of times we'll go, well, they say you need to probably hear this seven. Now it's like 10, maybe 20 times you for that. Yeah. Because that's exactly correct. Yep. I'm like, so I probably said this last year, but you probably didn't remember. So we wouldn't cover it again.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

So we need to cover it again.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

The news gets to speak into your mind every day. Yeah, exactly. I get once a year.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Once a year, exactly. Well, and one thing that I do is I work with adult learners. In an underserved and unserved population. And that's one of the things I'm doing, I'm repeating, right? I'm repeating it. I'm sending it home in multiple forms for them: video, written, auditory. We have a quiz because they have to hear it over and over and over again. I say go home and practice.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

When I think it's potentially worse when it's in a topic like wealth that that we know to be highly emotional. So it's not just learning.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

There's already, I think there's already there's already a barrier. There's already there's worry, there's fear. Yep. Truly. And when you are trying to learn in a heightened state, you are not retaining the information. Period. We know this. It is going in and they're retaining very little.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

And I grew up in this industry. I've seen a lot of changes on how advisors work, right? So when I started in the industry, it was let me show you how smart I am, let me give you the, you know, and and you could just see people glaze over. And then it even got to the point where, you know, clients would be like, um, do we have to go through that? Right? Like, because it didn't resonate. I'm like, no, that's what you hire me for. I'll do all this, you know, looking at these charts. You don't need to. You know, just let's let's make it about you. If you want to, that's fine. Right, right. I'll give you anything you want. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

But if this to it all, I can distill this down and then you ask me anything you want.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

And that's why the planning, I mean, I um over the years, a lot of times they're like, okay, we're ready to go. And I'm like, well, do you want to know how the performance don't you want to see the charts?

SPEAKER_03 23:34

We're gonna teleport it. I know. I'm like, oh, you're done. But I got the gift of tenacity. Yeah, I have everything is too.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Um, when you started in the industry, was planning really a thing?

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Never, no.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Oh, gosh, no. It was what was the hot stock, and you pounded like you went down the list of all the clients and you tried to push this stock. That was when I went into the business with Merrill Lynch, you know, that was part of my training classes. Go research a stock and pitch it to all of us in the class. Sell, sell the stock. Yeah, it didn't matter if it made sense for that client or not. That's against the grain for you. Yeah. That's why I didn't want to do that. Really against the grain for you. And when the market dropped, oh, those were fun calls because you had to call every single one of them and get them out of that stock. I can imagine for a different world.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Stressful.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

Oh, it was so stressful.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

That's what I mean. I got it done. Yeah, you got it done.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Yeah. But I didn't enjoy it probably.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

There was no joy in that.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

Likely they didn't enjoy it either. But at some point they, you know, nobody knew any any different.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

Any different. No.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

So now we get to have purpose-based um conversations about what their dreams and goals are. 100%. I mean, yeah. It's I I assume much more fun.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

It is. It I mean, that's why I now feel like I actually can serve people in this capacity, right? And not just, you know.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

Right. Well, you say too in your bio, I want clients to leave with an empowering feeling of forward momentum. So education does that for them. Yeah. Relationship does that for them, planning does that for them. All of the things are intrinsic to you and the way you practice.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Well, yeah, I want them to leave with the peace of mind that we're okay. You know, a lot of times I'll say, You said the same, we're okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

So here's the interesting thing. In this Life RAF project, what's one of the number one, if not the number one, question? Are we going to okay? Yeah. And you said it. Yeah. Raleigh said it too.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

Well, and a lot of times I'm like, oh, eight plus today, you know, and that just like you can just see the relief.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

As you plan with and and for people, I mean, I think one of the things that is reality is we can't project the future. We can't perfectly map it out. And so part of becoming comfortable and and knowing we're going to be okay is is understanding contingencies and how we might uh react to or respond to, uh hopefully proactively around things that come at us that aren't planned for. Um, but do you want to uh speak to that at all? How do you how do you help people prepare for the unexpected trials?

SPEAKER_01 26:26

Kind of like a life event that occurs, like marketing. Planned, unplanned. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think, you know, every time we're looking at the plan, there's gonna be, you know, in the market, there's the black swans and then you're like, those kind of events can occur to you, right? We we can't plan around it, but we we will know what to do in the moment to respond. You know, that's what we plan for, is that this plan understands that there's gonna be times where the market's not performing. There's also gonna be times where we're gonna have to step back and re-look at this plan based on scenarios that happen, whether it's a long-term care event or a loss of a spouse. Right. Right. We we go back and we kind of look at that. We and a lot of times with my clients as I get older, we start talking about those light long-term care events and how are we gonna fund the situation. And what's great about the planning tool is if you know where you are, you know where you're going. So let's put that's beautiful, right, where we are. And if we let's let's do a scenario, if this were to occur, what does that look like? You know, to give them assurances that we can look at those things.

SPEAKER_02 27:36

So my next question was how do you help a family feel truly at peace with their financial picture? But I think I think you're addressing it right now.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Well, I tell them that's why these meetings are so important. I need to know if we have health issues. I need to know, you know, it's not just about how we're performing, it's this meeting's your meeting about your life. And so I can be prepared for the next year to make sure we're doing the right things for you.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

I love that you said that because when Raleigh was in here, we were saying, you know, how many times do you really, what do you feel is necessary to meet with a client? She said that annual review is absolutely critical. We have to meet at a minimum once a year. But then I asked her, what if things are percolating and there are fears and concerns and worries, major life events that are starting to occur, a change in health, say, and that pops up and we're three months out from that annual review. What do I she said, call? Yeah, right. What would you same? Yeah, same. Like you call me anytime. Call.

SPEAKER_04 28:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

And if you need to come in and meet face to face, oh absolutely. Come in. Oh, yeah. Okay. And and that's how I present the plan. You see how dynamic this plan is. You call anytime, we'll go back through it. If you have if you want to buy a new car, I'll throw it in here. We'll talk through it so you can see what that is. So they're not a burden to you. Oh no, never. These changes aren't a burden. No, this isn't an annoyance. Well, and the funny thing is, is uh you get in tune with clients, and I always I'm like, I'll be thinking about somebody, and I'm like, I gotta call them, I gotta call them. They'll call me. You are kidding. No, it happens. It's like a fixed sense. Oh, it frustrates me when I don't pick up the phone and call them because I want to be the proactive person. And then I'll be like, Oh, they caught me first. I love that. I was supposed to call them first. My ears were twitching. Exactly. And I'm learning, you just pick up the phone and call when I I hear that. And sometimes I'll just do it on my way in to work. Like and sure enough, yeah. Oh, I was just gonna call you. It happens all the time. Like that's crazy. Yeah, it's it really is.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

It's like I think you get like best investor of the year award for that. Like you have some sort of like spidey sights, it's kind of freaks me out. It's a little freaky. I'm not gonna have any well, maybe it's because you're a mom.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

Yeah, I don't know. It's it's something because it's it's happened pretty routinely the last probably 10 years.

SPEAKER_02 29:55

So let's talk about the fact, okay, as as a woman, as a daughter, as a wife, as a mom, have those things brought a different sense, perspective, strength to the way you engage with your clients?

SPEAKER_01 30:12

I don't know. Sometimes I think you're either a nurturing person or you're not, right? Or just even your personality to just care for others. Yeah. So you're a caregiver. Yeah. I think I just I want to help people. Uh-huh. And so it just becomes you know something you do in your everyday life. But I do tell my family a lot of times I'll be like, sometimes I'm not really great. I love, I'm a gift giver and I love to acknowledge birthdays, but we have so many people in our lives, right? Yes. I am like, I do that all day long with my clients and I'm caring about their lives. Okay. And I have what, a hundred plus households? Yes. And so I'm kind of like, yeah, I get home and I'm like, oh, I forgot so-and-so's birthday, you know, on the family or friends side. And I I'm like, oh, I can't be everywhere, but I will never let that drop with my clients just because wow, you know, they're just so ingrained. That's why you have the spidey sense. Yeah. Like they're ingrained. I just feel like I just need to take care of these people in a lot of the, you know, situations.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Okay, what does what does real wisdom mean to you? What does that bring up?

SPEAKER_01 31:19

You might say, oh, real wisdom, you know it all. Well, you don't know it all.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Right. And so real wisdom is knowing when you need to bring in an expert or you need to do that research for the client situation. It's it's understanding that I have to learn and be a life learner right along with teaching my clients. So just knowing what you don't know is wisdom as well.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

I'm hearing you say humility.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

I think wisdom comes with experience. So you're you're you're saying that. And not only can we not know everything, I think it's dangerous if we act like we do.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

Well, sometimes I will even say, in fact, I'm having a succession planning with an attorney and CPA for one of my clients tomorrow. And I'm like, I know enough to be dangerous. You know, so I needed to loop you in because I started, you know, down this conversation with the client. He's like, those are great points. And I'm like, well, we need to bring these people in, right? Because I know enough to be dangerous.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Right. So you know enough to bring in a team to have a multitude of counselors, and be able to say absolutely step away that piece of it, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:31

Because I can I can guide you that you need this help.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

Yeah, exactly. So you're a good guide on their journey. Right. That's really powerful. Uh, so from a client's seat, what is what does a great meeting feel like? Do you what do you think? When they walk away.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

I mean that they felt heard. Heard. I mean that they knew I was here. I mean, I just I don't think I need to present in a meeting. You know, I think we all start out the meeting. I only say, this is your meeting. You know, that's how you start every meeting. This is your meeting. This is your meeting. Like, what's top of mind for you? What can I answer today? Make sure that you leave and I've answered this. And, you know, a lot of times that gives them permission to go, oh, well, what do you think about the tariffs? Or what do you think about this person being the president, right? You know, and I'm like, I mean, I can give you my opinion, but I have to play the Fed. I, you know, I don't care either way, but yeah, you know, it's letting them expose themselves to what they're hoping to get out of the meeting. Giving them permission, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

Well, and that's the emotional process. I mean, everyone out there is is saying it matters who the president is. But all of the data says it doesn't. It doesn't, right. And so it's our job to bridge that gap. Right. Get them to really focus on what matters and not respond emotionally and actually damage the plan. Exactly. You've probably seen that too.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

Any examples or where they try to damage the plan?

SPEAKER_00 34:07

I mean, any I mean, over the years I I can think of people that got out of the market because so and so was elected president and and they didn't like that person, and and here we are 300% higher. And yes, and now when do you ever get back in? And so those those kind of emotional reactions have create damage.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

Correct. And I mean, and it's I mean, it's kind of a hard decision as an advisor if you finally have to say, okay, we're gonna let you do this. And a lot of times I'm like, then I'm not your advisor. I can't you're not sure.

SPEAKER_02 34:38

I have to act within your best interest. Yeah, and I don't believe that's and I don't believe this is so as a steward, yeah, yeah, absolutely resonates, yeah, as a steward as a steward. This is damaging.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

This isn't a transaction. Yeah, I can no longer I I can't walk with you and and be that guide if if we're going to be in and out because of things that we can't control.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Exactly. Yeah. I mean, I've had to say, you know, we just need to part ways because you're paying me, but you're not taking my advice, right? And so it's just not and I can't watch you get hurt.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Exactly. Which is what I truly believe is going to happen. Right. Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

And I think that's an important thing for listeners to hear that we care more about the person.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

You could keep collecting HS. Correct. And it's like, well, then this is just not a fit. Yeah. Just I I can't.

SPEAKER_02 35:30

I refuse to let you become the transaction.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

Right. And that's kind of the wisdom of saying there's the wisdom. You know, I don't know what's going to happen, but I know that what you're doing is not what you should be doing from my three decades of experience. You're going to hurt yourself.

SPEAKER_02 35:45

You're going to hurt yourself. And your family. Yeah. Exactly. And I think the truth is, okay, so we're talking about women um inheriting wealth. So often, I truly believe the spouse wants what's best for, let's say, their wife. And so you're wanting to leave them in a place of strength for for their family. Right. You're wanting to leave them in a place of safety. And if they can't partner with you to do that, you're saying we can't live together because we're not working together now.

SPEAKER_01 36:17

Right. Right. And well, I'm not able, you're not taking my advice. I can't guide you. Yeah. I'm I'm struggling to guide you here. And it will be very painful for me to see what happens to your spouse. And that's, I mean, those are difficult decisions, you know. Oh. And usually it's, you know, somebody that just can't can't be rationalized with, you know, sure. In the moment.

SPEAKER_02 36:38

I think one one final maybe question here is how do you keep both spouses engaged so that one person isn't just carrying it all? How do you how do you try to keep that in tandem sort of?

SPEAKER_01 36:50

I really feel like you just I try to get to know each spouse separately. It's different people. Yes. Okay. It's not, you know, and so I'll try to weave in things that plug them in, right? You know, if we have one spouse that's kind of the decision maker.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:06

I'm bringing the other spouse in personally. And what don't you understand? Or could I expand on this? Right. Like I feel like I really try to develop a relationship with both. I think maybe being a mom, being, you know, dirty. Yeah. I just really find that, you know, I can relate. Cause I know in the past I've worked with advisors that couldn't relate to one of the spouses, right? Sure. And so, and even comments were made. Oh, never looked at me, never talked to me.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

I had a woman share with me just the other day. It was very painful for her. She said, I don't feel like my spouse is being treated well. But when he's not there, it's even worse for me, is essentially what she was saying. I'm treated from their advisor. Even differently. Yes, but from their advisor that they were currently working with. And she was sharing this. And to be able to talk to her about that, when I'm hearing you say, Oh, no, no. We know you as individuals and as a couple. And I'm offering you the platform. I want to hear your voice. I want to know you. And I want you to feel free to speak. Yes. Do you find that as you're walking in time with them, maybe they're a little bit quieter and then they get they get a little more of themselves?

SPEAKER_01 38:14

Oh, and they get a little warped.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

Yeah. And I mean, that's gotta be fun. It is because you could you see them starting to plug in. Oh, I remember this chart, you know. And you you do. You see them start to rewarding. Yeah.

unknown 38:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

That's rewarding as a teacher, because really that's what you're doing, you're seeing the fruit. Exactly. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. They're getting a little spicy.

SPEAKER_03 38:37

I like it.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

Well, and then as they as they walk through time, you've probably walked with people. Now, I mean, you gave a a scenario of you said, Hey, Ron's in the hospital, we might use him. You probably walked with that family for a long time. Oh, yeah. And may not have been the scenario there, but if you've, you know, you've now equipped and prepared that spouse, whether it's a man or a woman, to handle the coming trial. Right. And and we all will experience a week absolutely call them transitions, planned or unplanned. But when you get that call, if if that was happening right now, what would you say to a person who says, I just lost my spouse?

SPEAKER_01 39:16

I always say, you just I don't want you to think about any of this stuff. Right? You have things to handle. Let's focus on getting through what you're dealing with right now. Yes. I'm a phone call away. Like I'll I'll do my side and then he'll be talking soon. But just I'm here. I worry about this stuff for you. You don't need to. That's my job. Yeah, that's my job. You need to go be with your family. And then even like in a divorce situation, right? Yes. You kind of talk about this inherited in the spouse.

SPEAKER_02 39:50

That's but that's the other side. Yeah. And that's in the next divorce.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

I've probably had six divorces, and I've kept both spouses. I am telling you right now, that is really powerful. And it's and then the last divorce I went through, they they said, Well, who gets you?

SPEAKER_04 40:07

Who gets you?

SPEAKER_01 40:10

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

And so I also was it written in their legal agreement? But I think that just speaks to the heart of being the steward to the human.

SPEAKER_01 40:23

Right? Well, and it's curious. And it's me, you know, and maybe people just aren't, some people in our industry aren't curious about others, right? They're only concerned with themselves. And I really feel like I've always just been more interested in other people than myself.

SPEAKER_02 40:38

Widowed women often switch advisors, uh, so let's say 80% leaving their current financial advisor within a year of their spouse's death. Do you see that happen? No. No. No. And it has to be because you've built relationships.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

And I don't know if maybe it's a female advisor lets the guard down for another female. Maybe. Right? Yeah. Maybe there's some something there. Security, maybe. Yeah. And I remember when I was with Wells Barco, they had, you know, whole training courses for men on how to relate to the female spouse. Right. Right. Yeah. Okay. So I mean, there might just be a natural, um, you know, whereas I probably like this client I spoke to that I was nervous about coming with me, right? Channel. I I originally felt like nervousness going, How am I gonna keep this person interested and engaged? As a female, as a female, yeah. Yeah. But you know, a long time ago when I was at Merrill Lynch, I remember a client saying, you know, I want a female advisor because interesting, they'll be honest, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 41:43

You know, I think there's data that says women are better investors. And I think I have to believe that that relates to they don't show as much overconfidence. We men know. Oh, that's so yeah, we can we can have some pretty strong opinions. Yeah, anyway, there's there is a reality to um the value of of being a woman advisor.

SPEAKER_01 42:09

Yeah, I think potentially.

SPEAKER_00 42:10

I'm grateful to have six women advisors in this in this thing it makes us so strong.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

Yeah, six women advisors. Well, we're it's the service mentality, yeah, stewardship, and then just comes natural, probably for the yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:24

But I think it's important to point out that this has been something that's happened organically. That was not a plan, that was not oh well, we have to have that was a natural progression. Yeah, how beautiful. Yeah, no, that's and you feel that it's powerful. You're surrounded by women in your life, just it's everything.

SPEAKER_00 42:44

No, it it is it is powerful, it makes us stronger. And I I think we we often go into meetings with multiple advisors, yeah. And and so it's it's great when there's both a male and a female, and that's I think that's a a powerful combination.

SPEAKER_02 43:01

Yeah, strengths, yeah, sharing strengths and dynamics and different perspectives, correct? Oh, yeah, disarms you know, the client is saying I can see that, yeah. I could see that.

SPEAKER_00 43:13

Anything else you want to add? Yeah, anything else is yours. You have a lot of notes.

SPEAKER_01 43:17

You do. Okay. Is there something pressing? As a firm, we're doing a good job at promoting who we truly are at the heart. And that's just, you know, I think people are gonna we always say, you know, we only take so many on our arc, and I think, you know, the people that come on our arc are are very lucky. So that's what you want listeners to walk away with. Yeah, that we will take care of you. I, you know, I don't think there's one person in this office that doesn't want the client to succeed.

unknown 43:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

Yeah, thank you.