41: Menopause, THC, and the Day My Nervous System Hijacked Reality

After eight years of using THC on and off to help manage menopausal night sweats and sleep disruption, I decided to take another break.

Within days, my sleep was wrecked, my resting heart rate skyrocketed, my patience disappeared, and everything in my life suddenly felt harder than it should.

What followed was a powerful reminder of something I've seen repeatedly in both my personal life and my work with clients:

Many of the problems we think we have are actually symptoms of nervous system dysregulation.

In this episode, I share my real-time experience navigating menopause, THC withdrawal, sleep deprivation, reduced caffeine, and a nervous system that was not happy about any of it.

We explore:

• Menopause and nervous system regulation
• THC, dependency, and adaptation • Why sleep changes everything
• Childhood conditioning and subconscious programming
• How the nervous system learns survival strategies
• Why so many adults live in chronic dysregulation
• The difference between a life problem and a nervous system problem

If you've ever found yourself convinced that your relationship, job, parenting, future, or entire life was falling apart, this episode may offer a different perspective.

Sometimes the problem isn't your life.

Sometimes the problem is an overwhelmed nervous system trying to get your attention.

You are not broken.
You are patterned.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Reparenting Radio. I'm Lisa Watson, Architect of Human Transformation. This is a space for leaders, parents, and anyone ready to break old patterns, regulate their nervous system, and show up in their life with clarity and self-trust. If you're ready to change the way you lead, love, and live, you're in the right place. Let's begin. Hey friends, welcome back to Reparenting Radio. This week's episode was not the episode that I planned to record. In fact, I had already had another topic all mapped out, but life had other plans. And honestly, what I have been experiencing over the past several days feels way too important not to talk about. So today we're talking about menopause, THC, the nervous system, and what happens when your physiology starts telling a very different story than your reality. Because this week, my nervous system once again completely hijacked my perception of reality in life. And before I jump in, I do want to say that I'm not dissing or promoting THC or HRT in this podcast. And I'm not here to tell anyone what they should do or what they shouldn't do. I'm simply sharing my experience and the awareness that it has given me. And for those of you that don't know, I have been navigating menopause for over eight years now. One of my biggest symptoms has been night sweats and hot flashes. And when I say night sweats, I don't mean waking up a little warm. I mean waking up drenched. Like I have to change my clothes, I'm constantly putting the blankets on, taking the blankets off, trying to get comfortable, waking up, getting water, going to the bathroom, just trying to fall back to sleep, and then doing it all over again. And for years I have looked for ways to manage it. And I've chosen not to do hormone replacement therapy. At least not now and not so far. But what I did find that has worked for me about eight years ago was THC. It helps a lot. And I mean a lot. Like completely will stop the night sweats and get me to sleep at least a solid five hours. It's not a lot. I don't use a lot, and I only do it before bed, a bowl before bed, sometimes another one, like during my evening walk, like maybe an hour or two before, you know, just to make sure it's setting in. Occasionally I take a gummy, and for a while it will work beautifully. I sleep better, I sweat less, my nervous system feels calmer, problem solved. Except not really. Because over time, what happens is, for me at least, I don't love it. I don't love needing it. I don't love feeling dependent on something every night in order to sleep. To me, it's I don't take any pharmaceuticals. I don't even take Advil unless I am in really, really bad shape. It's really rare. It's just me and the way that I'm committed to my body and wanting to keep it as clean as possible. But THC works for me, and I get the cleanest, most organic stuff that I can get. But over the years, what I've learned is that our bodies are very adaptive. And I actually learned this in one of my classes in my integrative health studies that we have what is called smooth and rough endoplasmic reticulum. It's referred to as rough or smooth ER. And this is how the body can adapt to repeated exposure to certain substances. So over time, we often need more of the substance to get the same effect. And I'm sure you know many of you know what I'm talking about, whether it's caffeine, alcohol, even something like Advil if you're taking it all the time. Eventually, the thing that once worked beautifully, it just doesn't work nearly as well. And that has been my experience with THC. So for the last eight years, I've been playing a bit of an on-again, off again kind of game with it. I'll use it consistently for a period of time and then I'll decide I want to stop. I'll make it a few days, sometimes maybe I make it a week, I think I've made it two weeks before. And then the sleep deprivation, the night sweats, the exhaustion, they just it starts piling up. I start going a little crazy, and I find myself right back where I started. So this absolutely is not my first attempt, not even close. But this time it feels different. This time I genuinely, after eight years, I want to see what happens if I stay with it longer. And not because I think THC is bad, but like I said, I just don't like being dependent on something every night in order to sleep. I wouldn't take sleeping pills every night. I wouldn't even take Advil to manage pain for a long period of time. I just, that's just not who I am. And as I said, I'm not telling anyone what to do. I have no judgments here. This is just me and what I feel in my experience. And honestly, after eight years, I'm curious about who I am on the other side of this pattern. So a few days ago, I decided to take a break. And wow, my body has had some very strong opinions about that. I'm on about day four right now. Three nights. Day four, but I've gone three nights without. Night sweats came roaring back, soak sheets, soaked, I wrapped myself in towels, so I just have to wash towels in the morning instead of all of my bedding. But the thing I noticed this yesterday is that my resting heart rate in the morning, I checked my heart rate today and yesterday, and it jumped from the mid-40s where it's been forever, because I have a very healthy, strong heart, I'm athletic, and my resting heart rate is generally in the mid-40s, low 50s. It's in the mid-80s right now. And I have been just feeling wired, agitated, really fragile. Everything feels bigger than it should. And then this morning happened. I had a phone interview scheduled with an agency, and the lady who I was scheduled with, she messaged me just about 15 minutes before our call and asked if she could change the time. Her message was not really great, and there was some confusion about the time zones. She said she'd call me from one number, so I added it to my contacts, so it wouldn't go right to voicemail. And then she ended up calling me actually from a different number, so it did go right to my voicemail. And I had to call her back and go through some automation system. And then by the time I finally got on the phone with her, I was really irritated and running out of time because we had scheduled it for 8 a.m. and now it was almost 8:25. So the conversation, it felt really clunky. She wasn't particularly organized, and because I was running short on time and short on patience, I eventually just said to her, you know what? I don't have time for this. You're just gonna have to send me what you have in an email. And I hung up. I was not feeling so good after I hung up. The situation was frustrating, yes. But did it justify the level of irritation that I was feeling? Probably not. And that's when I realized this is a nervous system problem. And I started looking at the bigger picture. I've been sleeping terribly, I've cut out THC. Oh, and I didn't mention that at the same time I drastically reduced my caffeine. I went from drinking three to four cups of coffee every morning and maybe a fourth one in the afternoon for months now to only a half a cup in the morning. At the same time, three days ago when I quit THC, I also did this with caffeine. And my caloric intake has also drastically reduced. I've probably reduced it by almost half, to be honest, over the past three or four days because I just haven't been as hungry. I don't have the munchies from the THC and no THC, and my nervous system is trying to adapt to it all. So of course I felt overwhelmed, and of course, everything feels harder, and of course, my emotional bandwidth is lower. But that realization reminded me of something that I've seen over and over again in my work. Many of the problems that people think they have are actually just symptoms of dysregulation. And let me just clarify because what I'm experiencing this week is temporary. I know exactly what's disrupting my nervous system right now. But it got me thinking millions of people who feel this way every day and they don't know why. Many people are living in a state of dysregulation all the time. And not because they're in menopause, and not because they're coming off of THC or because they're having night sweats or they stopped drinking caffeine, but because their nervous system learned dysregulation a very long time ago. One of the foundations of my work is understanding that the nervous system develops within an environment, just like your subconscious mind. As children, we're constantly gathering information. Am I safe? Am I loved? Am I accepted? Can I relax? Can I trust the people around me? Can I be my authentic self? And the answers to those questions aren't learned from what people say, they're learned from what we experience. So if we grew up in a home that was calm, connected, and emotionally available and predictable, our nervous system learned one set of rules. But many people didn't. Many people grew up with conflict, criticism, control, chaos, addiction, emotional neglect, emotional unavailability, or simply parents who were doing the best they could while carrying their own unresolved pain. And a child's nervous system adapts. The avatar adapts. That's what it's designed to do. A child doesn't consciously decide to become hyper-vigilant, they adapt. They don't decide to become a people pleaser, they adapt. And they don't decide to become anxious or a perfectionist, controlling or avoidant or constantly on edge. Their nervous system learns strategies that help them survive the environment that they're living in. Then something interesting happens. We grow up and the environment changes. We're no longer under the control of our parents. We're autonomous, sovereign adults living our own lives. But our nervous system keeps running the same program. Just like the subconscious mind runs the show 95% of the time. The nervous system wants to get back to homeostasis. I've talked about this in many, many, many podcasts, newsletters. It's one of the foundational pieces of my work. Our nervous system feels safe in an environment that it recognizes. So it's going to keep running the same programs. The chaos may be gone, the criticism may be gone, the danger may be gone. But the body didn't get the memo. The nervous system is still preparing for a threat that it thinks may be coming, but it really no longer exists. And that's why so many people feel exhausted by life. That's why relationships feel harder than they should, why rest feels uncomfortable, and slowing down feels unsafe. And that's why so many people struggle with anxiety, overwhelm, emotional reactivity, difficulty focusing or resting, and symptoms that often just overlap with other diagnoses. What I've discovered over the years is that many of the things that people identify as who they are are actually just nervous system adaptations. And the beautiful thing is that what was learned can also be updated. The nervous system, just like the subconscious mind, is adaptive. It learned one way of being, it learned one belief system, it learned one program, it learned one frequency, one vibration, it can learn another. And this week reminded me of something that I teach all the time that when the nervous system becomes dysregulated, reality starts looking different. Everything feels bigger, everything feels harder, everything feels urgent. The difference is that this week I know why. I know what disrupted my system. Many people don't. They've been living in that state for so long, they assume it's just who they are, and it isn't. Not because they're in menopause, not because they're coming off of THC, and not because they haven't slept for three nights, but because their nervous system has learned dysregulation a very long time ago. As children, we're constantly gathering information. Am I safe? Am I loved? Am I accepted? Can I relax? Can I trust the people around me? Can I be myself? And the answers to those questions aren't learned from what people say. They're learned from what we experience. If you grew up in a home that was calm, connected, and emotionally available and predictable, your nervous system learned one set of rules. But many people didn't. And I'd say for the last three decades, most of us didn't. But I want to include this some problems are real problems. And some dysregulation, maybe mindset issue, subconscious programming, triggering. But sometimes it's nervous system dysregulation. And having that awareness allows you to kind of look at the checkbox of things when you're feeling agitated. What is it? Is it my inner child? Is it my nervous system? Is it my ego? It's something else to have awareness over. Because some problems are real problems. Some relationships are unhealthy, some jobs do need to be changed, some boundaries do need to be set. And major life decisions do need to be made. These things happen. They kind of like guide us through life, right? But I also think that many people make some huge conclusions about their lives while operating from a deeply dregulated state. And I say that from experience, it's why I'm making this podcast today, because this morning I felt so terrible. I was so irritated at this at this woman. But then 12 other things irritated me in the next hour. Like everything felt huge. My life decisions felt big. I I could barely get myself to the gym. My body felt like it was buzzing. I couldn't really see my future in a lot of things. I was wanting to give up on some stuff. And I was in this observation mode with myself, watching it all play out, not able to really get out of it. And what finally did get me out of it is I increased my calorie intake. I went and I went and ate some carbs, and that helped my blood sugar a bit and made me feel better. And and I definitely do still also need some rest. But I do feel a little bit better after eating more. This is kind of like a PSA. When you're dysregulated for whatever reason, don't make major life decisions. Because when you're dysregulated, everything feels hard. Everything feels nearly impossible. Relationships, parenting, a child's non-compliance, work, your boss, you know, someone being late or not texting you, or maybe the way someone's driving on the road. Small inconveniences start to feel enormous, and that's how I felt today. It just felt so overwhelming and so big that I just had to share it with you today. And the challenge is that a dregulated nervous system is a very convincing storyteller because it doesn't say, hey, your cortisol is elevated. It says, your life is falling apart. It doesn't say, hey, your nervous system is a little overloaded. It says, oh my gosh, that person is so rude and so wrong. That recruiter is so incompetent, and I just can't, I am completely justified in my irritation. And that's what I want people to understand, especially women navigating peramenopause and menopause, because there is a biological reality happening that many of us were never prepared for. Our sleep changes, our hormones fluctuate, our stress tolerance changes, our recovery capacity changes, and all of those things impact how we experience reality. I have spent years teaching people that we're not broken, we're patterned. And I know that, I believe that. But this week, today especially, reminded me of something equally important. We're also biological. The nervous system doesn't exist separate from the body, it is part of the body. And when the body is struggling, the nervous system follows. So one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is: is this really a life problem or is this a nervous system problem? You know, before we decide we want to get a divorce or kick our partner out or quit our job, or decide that we're failing and we need to shift directions or move, or whatever it may be, before you decide, check on your nervous system. How are you sleeping? How are you eating? How stressed are you? How regulated do you actually feel? Maybe get your hormones checked. Get a blood test. Because sometimes what feels like a crisis is actually a nervous system asking for support. And honestly, that is where I am this week. I do not have it all figured out. I don't know exactly what my long-term solution for menopause and night sweats and hot flashes will be. I don't know whether I will be able to stay off THC forever. I'm still learning, I'm still experimenting, I'm still paying attention. But I do know that the version of me that woke up today, exhausted, sweaty, sleep-deprived, underfed, irritated, is not the most accurate narrator of my reality. And remembering that has helped me take a breath. It helped me stop making my temporary state mean something permanent about my life. So if you're listening to this and everything feels overwhelming right now, I want to leave you with a question. What if your life isn't falling apart? Or this portion of your life? What if your nervous system just needs some support? That's a very different conversation. And sometimes it is the conversation that changes everything. Sometimes it's inner child healing. You know. But it's something to look at. Awareness is the first step and the ongoing step in the healing journey. Thank you. If you are enjoying these conversations, the best way to stay connected with me is through my weekly newsletter. That's where I share things that I'm learning, that I'm noticing, that I'm questioning and exploring each week about relationships and parenting and all the things we talk about here on the podcast. And when you subscribe to my newsletter, you also get access to several free resources that I've created to help you begin identifying and updating some of your own patterns. And you can find the links to those resources in the show notes from quick start guides to reparenting, conscious parenting, leadership guides. You can download all those from the show notes. I would love to continue this conversation with you. Thank you for being here, friends. If you have any comments or questions, I would love to hear them. You can email those to me, info at reparent-yourself.com. I really appreciate you. I love you all. Thank you for being here, and until next time, be gentle with yourself. You are not broken. You are just patterned. Thank you for listening to Reparenting Radio. If today's conversation supported you, take a moment to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who knows they were made for more than the patterns that they inherited. If you're ready for serious inner work and real transformation, personally or professionally, you can explore my leadership pathways at Lisa-Watson.com. And if you're raising little ones alongside your own healing, you'll find my children's books at awakentheone.org. Until next time, stay grounded, stay open, and keep reparenting the parts of you that are ready to come home to their authenticity.