Episode 42: Work-Life Balance for Dads - Stop Chasing Balance, It’s Making You Worse

Work-Life Balance for Dads: Stop Chasing Perfect Balance | The Dad Edit Podcast Episode 42

Is work-life balance actually possible for dads, or is chasing it making us feel like we are constantly failing?

In Episode 42 of The Dad Edit Podcast, Andrew, Ryan, and Jeff get honest about the pressure modern fathers carry: providing for your family, being present with your kids, showing up for your partner, taking care of your health, building friendships, and somehow keeping it all together.

This conversation is not about becoming a perfectly balanced dad. It is about recognizing that fatherhood moves in seasons. Some weeks, work needs more from you. Other weeks, your family, mental health, fitness, relationship, or personal life has to come first. The goal is not to do everything perfectly at once—it is to communicate, stay organized, ask for support, and be fully present where you are.

The guys talk about the comparison trap on social media, the myth of “having it all,” why dads need community, and how admitting you are overwhelmed can be one of the strongest things you do as a man.

If you are a dad feeling stretched thin, behind, burned out, or like you are dropping the ball everywhere, this episode is for you. You are not failing, you are carrying a lot.

In this episode:

• Work-life balance for dads and why “perfect balance” is unrealistic
• Dad burnout, stress, self-talk, and mental health
• Balancing fatherhood, marriage, work, fitness, and personal goals
• The pressure fathers put on themselves
• How social media comparison affects dads
• Why communication and support systems matter for men
• Staying organized during busy family seasons
• Building a real community for dads

Follow The Dad Edit for raw, honest conversations about fatherhood, men’s mental health, relationships, community, and becoming better dads, without pretending we have it all figured out.

Join us for our monthly Dad Walk every third Saturday at Kiwanis Park in London, Ontario. Come walk, talk, connect, or just be around other dads. No pressure. No speeches. Just community.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Hey, before we jump in, I have a quick favor. If you listen to the podcast and enjoy these conversations, please give us a follow wherever you listen. Spotify, Apple, whatever it is. This genuinely helps us push the podcast out and reach more dads who might need to hear it. We really appreciate the support. Also, we're running a dad walk every third Saturday of every month at Kiwanas Park in London, Ontario. The walk starts at 11 a.m. Sharp. Come on out, walk, talk, connect. There's no pressure, no speeches, just conversations. Not about content. Alrighty, boys. Let's get into it. Episode 42 of the Data Edit Podcast. We outside about yes. It's been a break. Yeah. We took a break for uh June, men's mental health. We want to pack practice what we preach. We're spending time with family. It's the end of the school year, as a lot of you guys know. Kids are graduating, moving on, moving up. Milestones. Milestones are being hit. It we wanted to make sure that we took a step back and focused on the family. Um I hope you guys enjoyed the the two from the archives episodes we released. They made me sweat listening back to them. Like just the I think more so I think the content I liked the content, yeah, but it was like listening back and remembering like how nervous I was the first day I recorded. Like I was dim near shaking. And why? Who is fucking not? It's just you two, bro. But like you're putting yourself out there, dog. It's like anything else at first is a big uncomfortable feeling, right? Uh with the consistency, it just becomes like flow, like flows like water, but like 100%. I was nervous, man. I thought it was takes I guess I sound like an idiot. I was trying to portray myself a certain way. Um, but yeah, I hope you enjoyed that. I I hope you stuck around. Listen to those episodes where we took a little bit of a break. I really appreciate um the understanding there. Part of this episode is this episode is actually work-life balance for dad. Stop chasing balance, it's making you worse. Work-life balance. It's one of the most talked-about ideas in modern life. Everyone said, Oh, I need I need more time off, but I need to make more money, I need to be with my kids, I need to be with my wife more. You hear it everywhere. Finding that balance, protect your time, but don't let work take over. But if you're a dad, it rarely feels like balance. It feels like you're behind in your work, you're distracted at home, and no matter where you are, you feel like you should be somewhere else. I don't think the problem is I think the problem is that we set an expectation around balance. See, and I think I think that expectation is fucking bullshit. I think there is no balance. I think chasing this idea of I need to be perfectly balanced in every area is shit. It's it's it's unrealistic, bro. Life is uh is a journey, it's not a destination, man. So as you go through your journey, bro, like you have to shift, you have to adjust, things come at you. So it's never picture perfect and you'll never have it locked down, bro. Like, yeah, you better adjust to what what what's thrown at you when it comes to life for sure, when it comes to being a father and just the balance, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Yeah, you're juggling several balls at once, and at sometimes there's three balls in the air, sometimes there's two. So I mean there's one. Sometimes you're just keeping that one ball going as best as you can. And like I I'm feeling it right now with the fitness. Like my fitness journey has fallen off. Um, but I'm still crushing it in because I've put more focus into, you know, I've got uh my son graduating um and a school, of course. Uh, just focusing on that kind of thing. I've dropped my fitness ball, but it's on its way up, and I know you guys will help me get that ball back.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Oh, yeah, bro. We're outside it. But that's just like with everything else, man. Sometimes everything's working over here, shit's not making sense over here. And that's that's what you have to accept. That is that is your balance. The you have I hate people you know in the working world. Oh, I can multitask, I do this and that, and the other. No, no, you can't. You're doing one thing, you're you're you're focusing on one thing and then moving back to the others. It's I think it's okay in fatherhood to move everything up uh at a mediocre rate rather than trying to be super good at this and super good at this, super good at this, super good at this. Because when you dial in on those things, something falls completely off. 100%. And you have to be okay with you need to make sacrifice somewhere. Yeah, if I'm going to work, taking care of my body, and when I get home from work, I dialed in and locked in with my kid and make sure that he's fully engaged, my relationship is taking a hit. Right? If I'm relaxed at work, coming home and spending time with uh connecting with my wife and my my my kid, and you know, maybe my fitness is taking it. Like that shit is going to happen. Like, make it okay in your brain that you are going to sacrifice things. You circle back. That's okay, but you have to say, okay, dude. Now right now it's not for me to be spending six hours in a Muay Thai gym working on my knees, right? It's just not the fucking season for that.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Speaking of which, my knees are starting to ache again. Like that or that skipping the boxing keeps them poiled. Man, it makes you feel good. I so now I'm noticing that I'm creaking a little bit more, so I've gotta put some effort in there. So it's just time for that ball to go back up in the air a little bit, maybe for sure. We'll go for hikes.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Hell yeah. Actually, I just started getting back on hikes. It's fucking wonderful. Me and my wife are trying to dedicate like at least two days out of a week after work, you know. We just take a little stroll, get some fresh air. Being in that house, and I'm not saying it's nasty, but that stale air, it's not good just to be in the house like that. So we're consciously like, all right, let's get out, we got some fresh air in the street. Just to see and two minutes to help me. Yes, and that's one thing about Canadians, bro. We appreciate that nice weather when it comes out. You'll see people outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you guys ever had times where you felt completely and fully balanced or just less overwhelmed at that moment? Like, are there times where you guys feel like shit? I had everything in line.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Uh, yeah, was that when I was off for uh winter, like the Christmas break from work, I didn't have to worry about work. So everything felt taken care of. My focus didn't need to be on that for a little bit. Yeah, so maybe that's the trick. Scoochy job, scooch your job, scoochy job. You move to move Thailand, let's go move Europe, go surfing, you know, the no teach your kids how to do that.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

And that's that's the tough part, right? Is is work dropped off for you. So you didn't have to make the sacrifice of work, but that's what disappeared. Yeah, right. You didn't have that work purpose. Something has to fucking go away to make room for everything. It's it's not feasible, and I think it's stressful to think that I can balance everything. I haven't seen anyone that can. Something is being sacrificed.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

Good though to to try your best to balance is and be aware of what what's what ball is coming down and which one's up in the air at what time. So being aware of that and knowing when to toss that ball back up in the air is a very important thing.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

And utilize the tools, you know what I'm saying? Utilize tools when I say that, you know, go at things like like you did, right? You knew that it was gonna be busy for the month of June. You had a plan, you had to sacrifice something, and you stated that. Go in with a clear plan of what you want to do. Okay, if the focus is not gonna be on the gym for a minute, I'm gonna get back to the gym in a month. Write that shit down. I'm gonna be back in the gym. But while I'm out of the gym, I'm focusing, I'm putting my energy in these and shit's getting done. You know what I'm saying? Just go at it with a fucking plan.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

And on that note, I do want to thank you guys for holding down the podcast for fucking working with all the barbecue boys, Dougie Fresh. Thank you very much, Dougie Fresh, for that beautiful cutting board. Fucking right, and that's that's awesome. Um, these guys have been holding it down for me when I've my podcast and networking battery has been lower this month, and now I'm ready to get back at it. Toss that ball back up. Thanks, booking right. We'll see you guys, the barbecue boys and everybody at the next one.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

We are outside in July and August. We are coming for the community. I want to get in everyone's face about being a dad and showing up within reason to your work life balance. I get it, but exactly you know, this this is that moment. And again, what what Jeff, I think what Jeff's um very good at is identifying when he needs to sacrifice things and saying that. Yes. Hey guys, I need to take a step back. Sorry, I'm gonna do whatever I can. Don't fucking worry about it, bro. Like you have a good community. We say fucking take care of your family first, family first, always. Um, you dialed in, you you you did your stuff, uh uh um supported your family, you did some nice things for yourself, for your mental health to rebalance yourself. You've come back with you, like you have a different energy right now. Fuck, dude, you've been busy since April. Yeah, it's not that you haven't been present, you've just been busy, like life has been running full tilt for you since April. Yeah, yeah. And that's coming out of. I know you're not a big fan of the winter time, sort of like come out of like the winter blues into like you hit the ground running in a spring, yeah. And now we're at the start, mid first third of the summer. Okay, okay, now it's time for Jeff time.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

It's time to enjoy, right? Yeah, we're gonna go to the beach, we're gonna do the dad walks, dad hikes, I don't know, we're gonna show up and network with the the boys that have been supporting us. Hell yeah. And again, actually, what after uh what Andy was saying, if if because I was lucky enough to have you guys hold down the fort for me to take a step back and do those things, not everybody has that kind of support group available, build that support group.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

And this is why we're here right now. This is why we're supporting world exactly because we we we identified that it's important for dads like us to have an you know a shoulder to lean on, a community to be uplifted by, you know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Just to rewind a bit on what Jeff said, I love how you identified and you verbally stated, okay, guys, yeah, it's gonna be a little overwhelming. I gotta do this, this, and this. And then we made a decision, okay, we're gonna step up and make sure we hold the fort down and you're good when you get back. Just like being a father, being a husband. State when you're a little bit overwhelmed. And you stay quiet and you just try to go with the flow, and people don't know what you're thinking or what you're doing, where your mind's at. That's where the trouble kind of comes within a marriage, within being a father. When you can't show up for your kids, state that okay, I can't come. That has to do overtime this weekend. I really want to be there, but I gotta provide, like, give your kids some credit. Use your words, as we always say, communicate. The outcome is gonna be blessed. Yeah, yeah. Instead of you just keeping quiet and hoping no one notices or whatever, that's when the stress comes and then you start feeling like the bad guy. Yeah, yeah. Use you're very blessed. I, you know, I appreciate that in working with you and being your friend is like I don't know that I would to the same degree be able to say, like, hey, I gotta step back. I would just internalize, like, I am fucking up and I'm letting everyone down. I fuck, I gotta step up, and I would just keep tripping up because I my focus is elsewhere, and I'm not really dialed in for you guys. So I know you've really like demonstrated to me that I gotta reach out and and say, like, hey guys, the social media side, I've just lost my creativity, like I don't have it right now. Yeah, yeah, like just and it's okay. You we have this group of of men where I can come to y'all and say, like, I don't got it right now, yeah. Man, and you can, and you've demonstrated that to me that it's okay in in our setting to be able to communicate at all, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:56

And like we're here to help each other.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

Hey, and all you can do is be truthful. If you don't like it, I don't know what to tell you. Like, I'm gonna state it.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

And it's not stating it for an option, this is what it is. Hopefully, you take it in and we move forward accordingly, right? Like, yeah, kudos to you, bro, for seeing that and stating it. Hey man, we got you.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

We're building something up, nice. Like, it's supportive, it's great. This community, yeah, man. I love it. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Do you just think the the the pressure of work-life balance is more external or is it internal? I think it's all in the head. We put these highest expectations on ourselves for others, and others might just be like, hey man, thank you for just being there. I think a lot of it is is mental. Yeah. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Yeah, and it's hard to find a strong mental game for yourself, and everybody's self-talk is gonna be different about it. Like the my job, I I'm confident in it, the actual work itself. Getting to and from work, driving through the stressful traffic has been a mental battle for me because there's construction everywhere. This drivers that are aren't trying to get to where they need to go, people cutting you off. It doesn't, but then at the end of the day, like by the time I get home, I'm frustrated and stressed out. That just ruins the next few hours of my evening. It's like a mental battle to try and get that going self-talk, very important. Um, if you say, Oh, tonight I'm gonna get to the gym for five o'clock, but then traffic makes you late, then you're like, fuck. Like you're trying to force that balance that's just it's a little bit out of your control and be be um uh go easy on yourself, yeah. A little less than five minutes of push-ups at home is better than an hour. Fucking right, bro.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

At the gym, just doing something, move your body, right? I I totally agree. I think I think that's a hundred percent right. Um, I that's why I've taken to going to the gym on my my lunch break. And I'm my goal is every day. I get there three, four times a week. I don't need every day, but I'm okay with that. My goal is to go every day as long as I make it to the gym throughout the week, that's a win to me. That's why you know I text you guys, I celebrate like at the gym, we're working out today. Just to give myself that props, it's only fucking internally that I've decided I need to go to the gym. And like you said, if if it doesn't work out, if work gets busy, I can't get mad to say, well, fucking, I don't get to leave for an hour to go work out. Like, what a privileged thing to do. Okay. I just have to let that it's it's these expectations, that internal monologue that you set that's like, fuck, I gotta show for my kids, I gotta make more money, I gotta be there for my wife, I gotta make sure that I buy a house, I gotta take them on a trip once a year, I gotta give them the best toys, I gotta do all these things. That's all internal. No one's fucking asked for that. You know what people see as good fathers? Something that shows up for their kid. Hell yeah. Period. To the best of their ability. It's internal, but at the same time, with the way society is right now, it's external too. You're on social media, you got all these influencers saying, Oh, you gotta fucking switch up your diet, you gotta go fucking seven days a week, you gotta get rest, you gotta do this, and block out the fucking noise. This is your life that you're living. Yep. Adjust it to your capabilities, bro. Don't be unrealistic. And like you said, don't beat yourself up when you don't when you set a goal and you don't reach it. At that moment, hey, you'll have another go at it, bro. As long as you're putting your best foot forward and you're trying to be that dad. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, that your kids could look up to. That's all you could fucking ask for. Not everything's gonna go smooth. This is life we're talking about, boys.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

You know what I'm saying? I think that's that's the the the internal factor is like the expectations that we're setting, and like we have to meet all of these things. The external factor, like you're saying, is that's why we feel like we're behind. Yes, because you know, we I follow a bunch of um father creators uh in our field or our niche, and they're out doing 25k runs once a week, and they're working out and they're lifting heavy. And but he's got three businesses on the go, and he just launched uh uh a coffee brand, and he's also doing TED talks, and he's got banging photos and everything. Like, and I think fuck man, we're so far behind. Like, we gotta get a photographer, we gotta do some videography stuff, we gotta do more events, we need to get a warehouse so that we can like just have a cool fucking golf simulator and do stocks. I don't know. Yeah, I love the warehouse, yeah. But unless it's those external factors, it's the social media that we look.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

A comparison trap, right? Like we talked about and uh let's say the guy isn't actually doing 25k, maybe he's just doing like five minutes of running shots, fit man, yeah, and then he sends it off to to AI to cut it together. Like you're not behind, you're comparing yourself to a perfectly curated image account. Like they're crafting this account to be what they want it to look like, not what it actually might be behind, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:20

But acquisition keep that in mind at all times, right? Yeah, maybe they're crushing it at every aspect, and kudos to them, but yeah, there's a sacrifice somewhere, always. It's maybe it's their mental health, maybe it's their longevity, maybe it's their friendships, maybe it's their own family. There's there's sacrifice, there's sacrifice. There, oh there's always going to be sacrifice being made. Um, you know, you're putting your entire life on display for everyone. You need this demonstration of perfectionism disguised as balance. Yeah. Um, that's a sacrifice. You know, that's a big reason why we don't do um us forward in social media, is I don't want to put myself out there. I don't want to be seen as, you know, or try to demonstrate myself as a professional in this niche. Fucking not. The the whole crux behind this podcast is we don't know what the fuck we're doing. Yeah. It's just, you know, I'm trying to learn from you guys and and convey my expectations, and you guys agree, disagree, give me ideas. It's not about perfectionism for us, right? And hopefully our the folks listening to us see that and it comes through. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

Oh, sorry, a little less curated and more raw, like I think just how it's I think the audience appreciates that though.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Yeah. Because anytime I hear any positive feedback, it's like, man, you guys are doing something that needs that's needed in the community, and we're so raw with it. Oh, yeah. And if they're vibing that, I'm like, there is there is a need for it, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Yeah, and and as our podcast goes on, the the amount of editing, post-editing that we do is less and less because it's like there's no need to take out the ums and ahs anymore. We've first of all, we've gotten a little better without not doing those, yeah. But second of all, like I don't know, like we're sacrificing that polished edit for something raw and real, more unscripted, unedited, dad edit, not edited. That's it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

It's kind of cool. Hold on to that one right now. It contradicts itself. I never thought about it in my life.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Yeah, we got it on recording here. We can cut that back.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

Come on, baby. Put down on a shirt. You chop that out. Put down on a shirt, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

25 bucks if it's like merch is coming.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

I swear merch is coming. It's coming, it's in development. I've given you guys some mock-ups, some yeah, yeah. You put some of Jeff's art on some t-shirts. That's some idea. I don't know if he agrees with it, but hey, we come in. We're gonna vote him out. We're gonna just do whatever you want. We told, yeah. Um, is balance realistic for most dads? What do you guys think? Uh I think organization, so like a little bit of balance is good to strive for. You don't want to go in reckless and be all over the place. So balance can be a good thing, but it's just like setting those high expectations for yourself, putting too much on your plate that I'm a gangst. But I th I a little bit of balance ain't gonna hurt nobody. Yeah, yeah. You know, I think it's the the in the spirit of achieving balance, it helps you create structure. Yes. And I think it's important to chase balance as long as you're kind with yourself. Because I think the ultimate idea of balance ignores the reality of priorities, right? For Jeff, like balance is why did you let your fitness go? You should have been uh tucking in a half an hour or an hour every day. It's it's achievable. Balance. No, I'm focusing on my kid, and and and he's got graduation, and I'm doing things for myself too. I'm okay with prioritizing that lower for now. Yeah. And I think that. We have to be okay with balance and utilize it as a as a point of structure for ourselves. Yes. Right.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

I really I'd think of it just like you have five different balls, and those are all things that you may be responsible to do, your health, your family, your relationship, uh, whatever else, your job, everything, whatever. And gravity will pull those down and you'll throw them up, and that's that's what the balance is. Like some things will be up, some things will be down, and they'll be they're not going to be down forever. You're not going to drop the ball because you're good at juggling, and you'll just keep going. Yeah, and hair wad. I drop every ball. We'll teach you.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

But I think that's maybe that's a good demonstration of what balance is, is it's it's maintaining the balls. It's not like sound levels where everything needs to be balanced at perfect. There's things up in the air coming down, being tossed, being caught, being dropped. Like balance is learning to juggle, learning to keep those balls moving and rolling. You know, while you're doing that, panic saying no, I'll fuck. Why did I drop the and duck? Another one. Balls will drop sometimes and be alright with that, but you always have the option to fucking pick it up. That's okay. Throw it back up in there, you know.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

Absolutely, use gravity to your fuck advantage, you know, saying, and if you do drop the ball and you need some encouragement, reach out, we'll we'll help you, we'll tell you, we'll help you carry a couple of those up until you're feeling good again, man. Like, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

And and I I do want to I want to kind of reiterate on that you with us closing out Men's Mental Health Month now. Um if you just need a chat, reach out to us, shoot me a DM. I'm pretty active on there where Jeff will see it. Um reach out to us, just say, hey dude, what's up? It's not a big deal to us to have a little conversation if if you're if you don't have a community. Fuck the part of why I wanted to start a podcast with us. I don't have a community, right? I've either burnt bridges from my past or moved on because they weren't the right people to have in my life. That made more circle, fucking small, real small, about just my girl size. That was it, right? Yeah, she introduced me to you guys. I really respected both of you, and that has helped my mental health out tremendously. This podcast has been my way of reaching out and asking for help and and voicing vulnerability. That's maturity, bro. Do that. So if you out there listen to us and you don't have many people that support you, reach out, bro. I'm here. Hell yeah. Happily, genuinely will talk.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

And it's normal, like that's a normal stage in every guy's life where you you evaluate what's going on, and you realize maybe my childhood friends have aren't around anymore, and I'm just grinding away at work alone. Well, then that's when we built this up, and that's this is the place for you to come and feel a part of something, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 25:09

With no pressure, no saying, no obligations. We're outside, man. We're here to support each other, man. Yeah, 100%. So I think one of the concluding things that we're coming to here is you're not failing because you're unbalanced, you're struggling because you're trying to do everything at once. Yeah, man. You have to stop. I I really like I'm a very visual person, and I keep going back to Jeff's juggling uh uh visual for myself. You can't juggle with every ball in the air, something is coming down, right? It's you're a magician if every ball is constantly in the air, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Like it's impossible. But you're not failing because all the balls aren't in the air. It's not what juggling is. Juggling is catching and releasing and dropping and things coming up and down. I think that we need to focus on that. I want yo, you listening to remember that you're not failing because work's dropping off, you're shifting in focus. Come on, and that shit's okay, right? Hopefully, Jeff doesn't feel like he's failing because he's oh, I've let my fitness take a backseat. I'm ready. June's done, my shit's handled. I now have a little bit of time to allocate to some fitness. And if you don't, fuck it. Who cares? Right? It's it's your choice. Just consciously make that decision. You're never gonna feel uh and uh feel caught up. I don't think that that's a problem. What do you guys feel like success should actually feel like as a dad in in terms of work-life balance? What makes you feel most successful in that field? Flow related to to uh you know work as a leader when there's good workflow and I don't have to micromanage everything, I feel like things is is is is is working. Yeah, and same thing with family life. When I'm in the element and things are flowing, I'm not stressing about dropping the ball, but I'm present in the moment, enjoying shit, and there's proper flow. I could ask for nothing more.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean for me when I step back and take a look at what just to evaluate everything, and I notice, you know, the kids are quietly hanging out, comfortable, safe, happy, snacking away, watching some cartoons or whatever, or making art, and my girl's just scrolling and she's relaxed and having a nice time. And I just cleaned up the dishes after having a nice meal, like bills are paid, everybody's relaxed and safe and happy. I still am employed, and now it's summer. Bro, sit on that throne.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

Sit on that throne, yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

That's how you know what you're in your flow state. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. You might not realize it until you step back and look, but you're doing better than you think.

SPEAKER_00 28:09

Hell yeah. Give yourself some fucking credit. You got a beautiful family, whoever you are. There's people that are craving for that. Oh man. Do you guys have advice on when she gets busy? You're June. Let's I keep going back to you. Yeah, yeah. Air you out. Yeah, yeah. What kept you most grounded? How what helped you get through that? Because shit, dude. I looked at, I mean, I brought it up in this podcast. You've been busy since April. I look at you and go, holy, like, he is killing it. You are you got so much on the go. And like props for how you handled it and how you could communicate and how like what kept you grounded for that period of time?

SPEAKER_01 28:53

My uh it's being organized, like having everything laid out on the calendar, like actually like being on top of like this is happening there, there's an appointment there, there's this graduation here. Oh, we're gonna we have to leave this day, we have to come back this day, we have to have our our graduation suits in order. I need to so I need to press the suits like a couple days ahead because I know I'm not gonna have any time on the day of plan, uh planning all that shit out and then just going reg doll, just letting everything happen, you know, just allowing I like that like allowing yourself to float down the river. You're gonna get to the destination one way or another. Just don't fight it because the current will pull you under if you do.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

What I liked about that though, you had a fucking plan though. You didn't go in there like fucking it's gonna be crazy this month. No, you had a fucking plan, you laid it out, you were organized, and you went down that lazy river and let less flow. Yeah, yeah. Right. I think that's that's the most beautiful part about what you said is the I've listened to this in a podcast, in a business podcast. Um, a woman who's a project manager does the same thing. She's uh calculated, she does her whole plan, she executes everything. When it's time for implementation and launch, she takes a week off. Because she says, if I did my job right when this launches, it's perfect. I don't need to be there. So her test is I'm not gonna show up for the team the day we launch because I already prepped to like like you said, I got everything ready, everything was in place, whatever's gonna happen that day is gonna happen, but I'm gonna just show up and be present to that day.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

It frees sick, it frees your energy to uh tackle like things that may come up during the day of. Like if you're traveling and your flight gets delayed, well, what are you gonna do? Right, you can't call the pilot and be like, yo, what the fuck? You know, no, you can't if the graduation, like if a button pops off your kid's suit the day of graduation, well, fuck. That's small stuff. Yeah, I mean you don't need to worry about that. At least the shirt's pressed and it looks great no matter what. Like it doesn't matter, it's all good. Just then, yeah, it frees up your mental battery for other things. Hell yeah. Come on.

SPEAKER_00 31:07

When you step up for everyone else, right? Like I think some people that you know, if your partner or your kid is in those situations are are anxious and you've already said, hey, whatever happens, happens. At least you're now available to spend your energy on, like, it's it's cool. Like, don't we'll come up with another solution, it's all good. Everything think about it. You're your shirt's beautifully pressed. Kids are watching, no one's gonna see it. It's fine. Kids are watching too through those times. Yeah, yeah. I really like that. Yeah, and Brian, what about you? What during busy seasons? What helps you stay grounded? Um, what expectations do you have to let go? During busy seasons, honestly, uh, I've been doing this for so long. To be honest, like seen a lot of busy seasons, yeah. It's seen a lot, and it's like to reflect now, and I'm just gonna be honest, it might sound like we're repeating ourselves over and over again, but just being you know, taking a moment to sit down with my wife and plan out what we we have planned out and being secure in that, just letting it flow and seeing it come close to the plan, it's just like okay, that's what's up. But it what grounds mean, man, is I don't want to say balance is organization, bro. Going at it with a plan, just being organized, and then through those times of disappointment when it doesn't work out the way, and the maneuver and still moving forward and still getting a smile out of the the kid's face, even though it didn't work out the way I was supposed to, that's what fucking drives me. Hell yeah, that's that's it. Simple and sweet. I love that. It sounds like as Link gets older and seasons get busy, doing our best to stay structured and organized. But when the moment comes, like let her happen. Yes, it just is what it is. You have no control, bro. You know what I'm saying? So why are you gonna fucking stress yourself to control everything in the aspect? Nah, take it in. Because even in the chaos, you're taking something in. Yeah, that's valuable.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

Big big lesson is you can't control everything as much as you want to. And as guys, we're we're fixers, we always come up with solutions. Yes, we're getting getting into the habit of knowing that sometimes the there is no nobody's looking for a solution. You just have to rag doll through a solution situation, just accept, feel it, absorb it, watch it. It's like a cloud. You see the cloud, you know the cloud's there, you okay, and then it floats by and now it's gone. So it's like that's an issue that came through, and that's I don't know. And it's we can control the cloud. I don't know. Hell yeah, even enjoy the club.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

Yeah, I like that. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

Work life balance sounds simple, clean, controlled, and achievable. But real life isn't clean, it's messy, it shifts, it demands more from you in some moments and less in others. As dads, we need to be constantly adjusting, trying to show up for work, showing up at home. Maybe the problem isn't that we can't find balance, maybe it's we were never meant to. Because the goal isn't to split yourself evenly across everything, it's to be there fully wherever you are, even if it's not perfect, even if it's not balanced, because that's where our kids will remember being there. Guys, if this episode has resonated with you at all, please share it with another dad who might enjoy the conversation. Come find us on our Instagram at the dad at a podcast and watch for our next dad walk announcement. Um, just something I didn't write down uh that I want to draw back attention to is we are still running kind of our Discord, it's an online platform where dads can come, you guys can show up. Um we just chat with there's a couple dads in there now. Dougie Fresh, shout out to you. You are the OG of the Discord. Um, it's an app. So if you go download the app, uh it's a text-based kind of forum. You can jump in, we can do calls, maybe we do some live events there at some point. Um, it's just a place for you guys to come hang out, chat with us. I'm usually on there, at least checking it once or twice a day. Come out to our Discord, we will see you there, we will see you online, we'll see you in the next episode. We is all we got. Thank you.