Hip Hop Wednesday — You Confuse Intensity With Real Connection

Good morning family… this one right here? Yeah… we going a little deeper today.

In this Hip Hop Wednesday episode of Chic in the Spirit, Sherita McShae breaks down something a lot of people experience but don’t always recognize — confusing emotional intensity with real, genuine connection.

Because let’s be honest… just because it feels strong, fast, and overwhelming doesn’t mean it’s healthy… and it definitely doesn’t always mean it’s aligned.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why intense emotions can trick you into thinking something is real
• How inconsistency creates emotional highs that feel like connection
• The difference between reaction and true, stable connection
• How patterns matter more than moments
• And why God calls us to discern what’s steady vs. what’s just pulling on our emotions

Sherita also connects this message to what we hear in music and culture — where intensity is often glorified, but consistency is rarely talked about — and brings it back to truth through James 1:8, reminding us that instability creates confusion, not clarity.

This episode is your wake-up call to slow down, pay attention to patterns, and stop calling something “real” just because it feels strong.

Because real connection isn’t built on highs and lows… it’s built on consistency, stability, and alignment.

If you’ve ever been caught up in something that felt deep but left you confused… this one is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey fam, what's good? You're locked in with Chicken the Spirit and it's time for your midweek boost, your seed of faith. I'm Shritham Shea and I came to drop a quick word that hits home and holds weight. It's short, it's strong, and it's straight from the word Let's Grow. Hey family, it's your girl Srita Mache and welcome back to Chicken the Spirit. Listen, I need you to really slow down and sit with me for this one because this is one of those conversations that doesn't immediately sound deep on the surface, but the more you actually reflect on your experiences, your connections, and the people you feel strongly about, it starts to reveal something that a lot of people misunderstand without even realizing it. Because when people talk about connection, they often describe it based on how strong it feels, how fast it happens, how intense the emotions are, and how much it pulls them in. And because of that, they automatically assume that what they're experiencing must be real, must be meaningful, and must be something worth holding on to. But what people don't always stop to examine is whether that intensity is actually coming from a genuine, stable connection, or if it's coming from inconsistency, unpredictability, or emotional highs that are not sustainable over time. And that's where things start to get confusing because intensity feels real. But that doesn't always mean it is healthy, and it doesn't always mean it is aligned. And I had to sit with that myself because this is not about people choosing wrong on purpose. This is about people responding to how something feels without fully understanding where that feeling is coming from. Let me ask you something, and I really don't want you to answer this quickly or just agree with it. I want you to actually think about your past experiences. Have you ever been in a situation where something felt strong right away, where the connection felt deep, where the emotions felt intense, where it seemed like everything was happening fast, and because of that, you told yourself this has to be real, or this must be something. And if you really sit with that honesty, was it actually a stable connection? Or was it a cycle of highs and lows that kept pulling you in because you never knew what you were going to get next? Because those two things feel similar, but they are not the same. And I had to really sit with that in my own life because there are moments where I found myself drawn into something that felt strong, something that felt exciting, something that felt like it had depth, and I associated that feeling with it being meaningful. But when I slowed down and really looked at the pattern, I had to be honest with myself in a way that wasn't comfortable at first, because I realized that what I was feeling wasn't coming from consistency, it wasn't coming from stability, and it wasn't coming from something that was steadily growing. It was coming from unpredictability, from not knowing when I would hear from them, from not knowing how they would show up, from experiencing moments that felt really good, followed by moments that didn't. And that inconsistency created a kind of emotional intensity that felt like connection. But when I really broke it down, it wasn't connection, it was reaction. And that realization changed how I started looking at things. And this is why when you listen to a lot of music, especially when it comes to relationships and emotional experiences, you hear a lot of emphasis on intensity, on passion, on not being able to let someone go, on the highs of connection and the lows of distance. And all of that is framed as something meaningful. You hear about the excitement, the pull, the emotional attachment. But what often missing is the conversation about consistency, stability, and alignment. Because music captures emotions and moments, and those moments can feel powerful. But real life is not built on moments, it's built on patterns. And if the pattern is inconsistent, then the intensity you feel is not necessarily a sign of connection. It may be a response to unpredictability. Let's get into the word coming from the book of James chapter one verse eight. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Now let's really sit with this, because this is not just about someone being unsure. This is about instability, inconsistency, and lack of alignment. Because when something is unstable, it creates confusion. It creates unpredictability, it creates inconsistency. And when you are involved in something that is unstable, your emotions respond to that instability. And sometimes that response feels like intensity, when really it is your mind and emotions trying to adjust to something that is not steady. And that's where we have to be honest because just because something feels strong does not mean it is stable. And just because it pulls you in does not mean it is meant for you. Let's open with prayer. Lord, thank you for giving us awareness and the ability to see beyond what we feel. Help us to recognize the difference between real connection and emotional intensity, and give us the clarity to not confuse what feels strong with what is actually stable and aligned for us. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Let's get into the message. Let's really go there because this is where people get caught without realizing it. When something is inconsistent, your emotions are constantly adjusting, constantly reacting, constantly trying to make sense of what's happening, and that creates a heightened emotional state that feels like death, but is actually instability. And because that emotional state feels strong, people assume it must be real. But what they're actually responding to is the unpredictability, not the connection. Because real connection is steady, it is consistent, it is clear, it is not confusing. And if something keeps pulling you in and pushing you away at the same time, that is not depth, that is instability. Let's get into this real talk. Let's be real. Some of y'all didn't have a deep connection, you had an intense experience, and because it felt strong, you called it real. But if you really look at it, it was never consistent, and that's the part you have to be honest about. So now I need you to really sit with this honestly. Have you been confusing how strong something feels with how real it actually is? Have you been holding on to something because of the intensity of it instead of the consistency of it? And what would it look like for you to start paying attention to patterns instead of just moments? And here's the truth in all of this intensity is not the same as connection. And if you don't learn to tell the difference, you will keep attaching yourself to things that feel strong but are not stable. Here's our faith confession. I will no longer confuse intensity with connection, and I choose to recognize what is consistent, stable, and aligned over what simply feels strong. Let us close with prayer. Father, we thank you for helping us see clearly and understand the difference between what feels strong and what is actually right for us. Give us the wisdom to recognize patterns, not just moments, and the strength to choose what is stable and aligned. In Jesus' name, amen. Alright, family, be honest. That wasn't connection, that was intensity. And once you see that clearly, you stop holding on to things that were never steady. And if this episode spoke to you, if it hit you in a real way or made you reflect on something you've been holding on to, you can always email me at Chick in the Spirit Podcast at gmail dot com. I would love to hear from you. Remember, it's your girl, Sharita Mache, and this is Chick in the Spirit, where we keep it real and we keep it God. I'll see y'all next Wednesday. And that's your seed. Don't let it sit, let it sink deep, speak it, believe it, live it. This walk ain't easy, but with God, you've got everything you need to win. Catch you next Wednesday right here on Chicken the Spirit. Stay lit, stay lifted, and let your faith talk louder than your fear.