S02 E06: The Weight of Being the Strong One

Being the “strong one” sounds admirable…until you realize how heavy the role really is.

In this episode of Poised for Purpose, Tabitha J breaks down the mental, emotional, and invisible weight that comes with being the dependable one everyone turns to. 

This conversation explores why strong people often feel overlooked, how strength becomes an identity instead of support, and why you must learn to lean wisely on the right people.

If you’ve been feeling tired, overloaded, or quietly stretched, this episode is for you! 

Thanks for listening to Poised for Purpose with Tabitha J.

✨ Let’s Stay Connected!
📲 Social: @TheTabithaJ on Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn
💬 Love what you heard? Share it with a friend + tag @TheTabithaJ — and don’t forget to rate and review!
📥 Booking & Inquiries: admin@tabithaj.com

#PoisedForPurpose #VoiceOfStrategy

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

Hello everybody and happy Monday. You're listening to Poise for Purpose, the space where calling meets clarity and faith meets function. I'm your host, Tabitha J, the voice of strategy and purpose, and I'm here to help you lead with wisdom, live with intention, and grow into the person that you're becoming. And today we're going to talk about something that so many people carry, but we're so careful in how we discuss it. And that is the weight of being the strong one. Now, can we be honest for a second? Being the strong one, you know, it has its perks. It sounds admirable and all, but truth is it also carries this quiet weight. People rely on you, they depend on you, and they just lean on you. And somewhere in all of that, your own needs get pushed to the background. And the thing is, your needs are very real and very valid. But because you've been strong for so long, people forget that you have limits too. You're known for showing up and you fix things and you figure it out, and suddenly everyone assumes that you're built to carry it on. And then eventually it hits you, usually in a hard way. That you've trained people to think that you never get tired. But strength does not cancel out need. So, my personal experience in all of this is actually a blend of a few seasons in my life. I've had a few wake-up calls, or what Opal would refer to as aha moments, where I didn't realize that I had slowly trained myself to walk alone. Not because I didn't want support, but because I had gotten so used to being the one who figures it out that I had stopped expecting anyone else to show up for me. I wasn't isolated, but I was really just functioning like I didn't have anyone. And the weight of that? Huh, heavier than anything I was actually carrying. And that's when I learned that it's not just the responsibilities that get heavy, but it's the belief that you have to carry them by yourself. So let's try to work on this by breaking it down strategically, well, honestly, and with some compassion. First of all, strong doesn't mean that you're unlimited. Just because you can hold it doesn't mean you should hold all of it. Your capacity that deserves protection. Two, being dependable does not mean that you're available for every single thing. People will keep pulling as long as you keep carrying. And just know that a boundary is not a form of betrayal. We feel so guilty by setting our boundaries that we tend to immediately go back to what makes others comfortable, and then here we are back in our same situation again. 3. Strength can become a role that you never meant to audition for. Sometimes you're not the strong one, you've just been the consistent one in inconsistent environments. What people don't see still impacts you. Mental and emotional load is real. So number five is our own strategy. We need support as strong people, but the trick is you've got to choose wisely. You can lean, but you just need to lean on the right people. Everyone can need you, but not everyone can carry you. And that's okay. So the question today is where are you carrying weight alone that you don't actually have to carry alone? And deeper than that, who have you not allowed to support you even though they can? We tend to mix up who belongs in what scenario. So in bringing it down to a close, just know strong doesn't mean solo. Strong just means being wise enough to adjust when the load shifts. If this episode was good for you, please share it with someone who needs it and be sure to follow the show so you don't miss next week's episode. That one's gonna be about the discipline of confidence. And for my pastors, leaders, and those who serve in faith spaces, don't forget our Ministry Leader Edition drops every Thursday with deeper empowerment just for you. Until next time, keep walking it out and stay poised for purpose.