The Gift of Family: Embracing Connection During the Holidays!

As the holidays draw near, Coach KG invites listeners into a heartfelt reflection on what truly matters most--family. In this warm and inspiring solo episode, she explores the beauty of connection, the power of presence, and the grace of love that extends beyond bloodlines.

From cherished traditions to chosen families, "The Gift of Family" reminds us that the holidays aren't about perfection, they're about people. Whether you're celebrating surrounded by loved ones or creating new memories of your own, this episode encourages you to slow down, give thanks, and nurture the relationships that bring you joy and grounding.

Key Takeaways:

*Redefining what "family means in every season life

*Finding peace, love , and grace through connection

*Simple ways to make meaningful memories this holiday

Tune in, reflect, and remember--The greatest gift you can give is your presence.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, hello there. Welcome to another episode of She Shines. I'm your host, Karen Coach KG Gilliam, and it is so wonderful to be here with you on this special solo episode of She Shines. If you remember, when we started back in July, I told you from time to time there would be just me giving you wisdom. And today is that just that. I'm just gonna talk to you. But you know me, being a coach, I also will challenge you and give you some interaction that I hope you will follow along with me. So we're approaching the holiday season. Yes, we are. I mean, come on, the stores are already ahead of us. I mean, before one holiday has come and gone, the next one is right behind it. And it is almost seems like they are just rushing, rushing the holidays. And the reason is, is because they want your money, right? But as I was thinking, and I just returned yesterday from a little getaway, and it had been, what, about a year and a half since my siblings and I got together. And so we decided we'd go back to a tradition we actually started back in 2012. We are big football and basketball fans. And so each year, each one of us gets to choose a location where we go watch an NFL football game. Now, back in 2012, we went to Dallas, Texas, the home of the cowgirl. Um, sorry, cowboys. I'm I'm a dead giveaway. But that was my my brother's, my youngest brother's team still is, on occasion, you know, when they don't lose. But anyway, um, so it was his time. We were in Dallas, we stayed at a hotel, and we tailgated for the first time. Now, I I you know what, just let Coach KG be transparent and real with you. It was our first time tailgating. And we'd gone to the store and got everything we needed. And then we showed up at the stadium. We parked. Oh, we had the music going. We got the tables and the chairs out, and we were all decked out in our attire, our team um shirts and headbands and caps and whatever. And we fired up the grill. Oh, yes, we did. We fired up the grill. And then I brought up the simple question: where's the meat? We had the sides, we had the drinks, we had everything, but we didn't have the meat. We left it in the refrigerator at the hotel. Oh my goodness, here we are. And before long, it got spread all throughout the tailgating area that we forgot the meat. But you know what? We laughed. And before we knew it, people were making donations to us, they were bringing food to us because that's what you do when you're celebrating, creating memories, and that's what the holidays are all about. So this year, it was my baby brother's turn again, and so we went to Charlotte, North Carolina, and we watched as the Panthers, uh, the Carolina, Carolina Panthers, and the Dallas Cowboys play. And I was decked out. I am not a Cowboy fan. I am not a Panther fan, but I decked out in my Washington Commander shirt. Now, this this wasn't just an ordinary jersey. This was a shirt that had an illustration of a woman, and she looked so cute, but the caption says, I'm a commander girl. And I wore that in the cut in the colors of the commanders, been a lifelong fan of the commanders that were previously the Redskins, and in my heart, they're still the Redskins. And the beauty of it all is that the Panthers beat the Cowboys. And unfortunately, the Commanders fell to the Chicago Bears. Both games in the last second. But the memories that I have of the few days we were together, we rented a house in Charlotte. It was all four of us. I'm the oldest of four. And then my brother's wife and my brother's son, because we opened it up to our children as we are, you know, getting up there in age, and we just thought we'd pass on the tradition. But anyway, um, unfortunately, only his son could come. Um, my kids all had previous engagements, and so it was great, though, having um young blood in there. So let me get back to the whole purpose, but I just had to open up with that because I want to just talk a moment about something truly sacred, and that's the importance of family. So, see, this episode is the gift of family, embracing connection during the holidays. Whether your family is near or far, whether you've chosen them or you were born into the family, the holidays often stirs our heart in special ways, reminding us of what truly matters, and that is love, connection, and belonging. So let me talk about the heartbeat of the holidays. As I just mentioned about my getaway with my sibling, the very first evening we were together, we gathered around and held hands and prayed, prayed for each other, prayed for our families. And my brother had a song that um he had created. Um, he's a mobile disc jockey. And uh More of You. And it was we were definitely thinking of more of God. And each one of us broke down in tears. We hugged each other, we spoke life to each other. The heartbeat of the holidays are so much more than what decorations you have around the house or on the door, the dinners you fix, or gifts under the tree. They're about the people gathered around it, the laughter, the stories that you keep telling every time you get together. We did some of that too. And the small gestures of care that remind us that we are not alone. The holidays can be a lonely time for some people because of lost loved ones. Family is the heartbeat of our lives. I even have a canvas print that says family is everything. And I mean it with every fiber of my being. It's where we first learn how to love, where we learned how to forgive, where we learned to show up no matter what. And sometimes it is to heal. For those of us and those of you who carry grief, distance, or tension, this season doesn't require perfection, it invites presence. And I don't mean the presence under the tree. Presence, your essence, you being there. That's what I'm talking about. Every act of love counts. Last year, and it was my second year doing it after moving here to Washington State. I invited the older grand sugars. Well, in case you don't know what that term means, my grandchildren are my grand sugars because they're sweet as can be. And now I'm a Gigi, great grandma, and number two will be coming next year. There's nothing sweeter than my grandchildren. So last year I saw a video on TikTok. And on that video, a grandmother was surrounded by her children, her grandchildren, her great-grandchildren. And what they did was painted her hands and her arms. And everyone had on a t-shirt. And so I believe they were all in white, and she one by one hugged her family members. And it touched me so much that last year at the cousin's Christmas that was held in my home, I did the same thing. Now, of course, when I let them know what we were doing, you know, I'm talking older grands. So they are in high school and college and married. So they thought, Mom, we can't wear this out in public. I said, I didn't, I'm not doing this for you to wear it in public. I just want you to have a hug from mom that will last even after I'm gone. So each one of them, and I can't even remember how many were there, they got a hug from me. And on the front, it says mom's hug. This year, I don't know. My siblings asked me what I was doing for the holidays, and for the first time in my life, I said, I don't know, because my grandson is stationed in Germany with his wife. They were here not too long ago for a surprise visit, but they won't be here for Christmas. My grandkids that have graduated, and I have another, I have a granddaughter expecting my second great-grand. And everyone is just sort of doing their own thing. I love to decorate, but I love to decorate because it invites the warmth of being together. So it was that moment when I told my siblings I didn't know what I was going to do for the holidays that prompt me to do this solo episode of She Shines. Because I know I'm not the only one who doesn't know what they're going to do for the holidays. So let's talk about redefining the family. And maybe then we will get some insight as to what we can do for the holidays. Family isn't just about those that share your DNA. It's also who shares your destiny. It's the people who cheer you on when life gets heavy. Those that remind you of your worth, your value when you seem to forget. It's who sits with you even in silence so you don't have to carry it alone. So as we are about to enter into this holiday season, I want you to ask yourself a few questions. Jot them down. I'll go slow. And whether you're watching the video or you're listening to the podcast without seeing it, it's okay. You can rewind it, lay it back, and write these questions down. Let these be your journal prompts before the holiday season comes. So the first question is: who are the people that feel like home to me? Who are the people who feel like home for me? Remember, we're redefining family. We're not just talking about brother, sister, son, daughter, niece, nephew, grandchildren. We're talking about people that you feel you can be at home with. You can feel like you're at home. Who are they, those people? Write their names down. The second question I have for you is who do I need to reconnect with? Or who do I need to extend grace toward? Grace, the undeserved measure of favor. I don't care. I don't care what they've done, what they've said. You are the one that can reach out, reconnect, and extend grace toward them. Number three. Who do I want to pour into? Not out of obligation, but out of love. My sister said to me, Well, aren't you going to do the cousin's Christmas? And I hesitated. And I hesitated because of the reasons I had just mentioned earlier. I thought, why bother? But I know what she was doing. She was getting me to realize you have a tradition. And those who want and can show up will. So I will be hosting a cousin's Christmas. Now, I live in an apartment now, but I'm able to use the clubhouse here at the property. And as a matter of fact, I better go over there and see if I can book it. I'll do that tomorrow. Okay. So those are the questions I want you to answer in your journaling to redefine family. Now let's talk about making memories that matter. Let's slow down enough to actually see each other. Be fully present at the table. Listen actively and deeply to what others are saying. Laugh. I mean that gut-wrenching laugh that makes your stomach hurt. That kind of laughter. You know, it's interesting. My siblings and I, we went out to breakfast the following morning after everyone came in. And we went to um Cracker Barrel. That's where we went. And there were two gentlemen seated at the table next to us. And there were, what, six, six of us? And we said hello when we were seated by the hostess. And they said hello back. And before we knew it, we had a full-blown conversation going. I'm talking about, because think about it. Think about when people go out now. They do it at home, so you know they're doing it out at the restaurant. Everyone is on their devices, whether this the phone or whatever, no one's talking. Someone complains about the food, about the service, or something. No one is smiling. Why even be there? But I guess me and my family were laughing, and we I noticed the other people around the tables sort of looked at us like, what's so funny? We didn't care. We were creating memories. So the two gentlemen that were seated next to us, we got in a conversation, we listened to them, we talked, and when they left, they said, thank you so much. Wow. I mean, I like my cousin and everything, but talking to you guys was fun. So make memories that matter this holiday season. Please, if you're gonna have your phone, you might as well take some pictures. So take pictures, capture moments. Some could be posed, but the best ones are unfiltered, unplanned memories that last longer than any gift. I know my brother shared with us the picture we took when we went to a comedy club the first time we went for the football game. And I immediately said, Oh my gosh, that was 13 years ago, and you still have it. I said, please send that to me. And I was so glad he did. Start a new tradition. You might want to do the maybe the mom's hug or the grandma's hug or the auntie hug like I did. Share affirmations, affirm one another. You could do it before dinner or go somewhere and volunteer together. That's something you could do. Create a new tradition. The best memories are rarely perfect, but they are always real. And as long as you are touching the lives of someone else, it makes a big difference in how you view the holidays. So it's time for a little reflection and affirmation. And so, you know, I just come on here to share with you in this solo episode, and I sure hope what I've shared with you today has made you think about what are you going to do for your holidays? I'm not talking about what you're going to eat or what gift you're going to buy so-and-so, and how much money you're going to spend. I'm not talking about any of that or the decorations or color scheme and all of that. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the gift of family. So as you move through this holiday season, I want you to reflect on this affirmation. All right, you ready to write it down? Here we go. I honor the family I came from. I cherish the family I have, and I embrace the family I am becoming. So what this affirmation has done, it has you looking at the past because all of us have ancestors, family members who paved the way for us to be where we are today. And then it says, I cherish the family I have. You today, presently, have a family. Some of you have a bonus family. There's no step. I don't even say son-in-law or sister-in-law, brother-in-law. No. It's in love. I'd rather be in love than in law any day. Now, a funny thing, my past family, they used to call the in-laws that came into our family the outlaws. But I chose bonus, grand sugars, and in love, son in love, sister-in-law in love, sister in love, be in love, not law. And then it says, I embrace the family that I am becoming. See, all of my offspring are becoming their own family and will have their own families. They embrace that. Family teaches us to give and receive love. And when we lead with love, we shine together. So as I bring this special Coach KG episode to an end, next week, we will have an invited guest to share her story. But for now, wherever this holiday season finds you, surrounded by family or building new mind, know that your light, your presence, your essence makes a difference. Until next time, may your heart be full, your spirit be at peace. Most importantly, your home will be filled with love. This is Coach KG, reminding you nothing changes until you change your mind. To all my queens out there, what do you do? You rise, you reclaim, and you radiate. Let this holiday season represent the essence of you and your family. God bless you all. And until next time, this is Coach KG. I love you.