She Shines with Karen "Coach KG" Gilliam

High Functioning but Unfulfilled

Karen "Coach KG" Gilliam Season 1 Episode 32

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0:00 | 33:02

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In this episode of She Shines, Coach KG addresses the common struggle of high-functioning women who feel unfulfilled despite their outward success. She explores the difference between functioning and fulfillment, providing insights into how to recognize signs of being high-functioning but unfulfilled. Through self-reflection questions and an invitation to transformation, Coach KG encourages listeners to seek alignment with their true selves and embrace their journey towards fulfillment.

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RISE. RECLAIM. RADIATE.

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Well, hello, beautiful people. Welcome back to She Shines. This is Karen, Coach KG, and today's conversation is for the woman who looks like she has it all together.

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But privately feels like something is missing.

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Can anyone relate to what I'm talking about? On the outside, you are looking sharp. You've got your hair done. You've got your makeup tight.

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You've got the stylish outfit that you feel good in.

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But on the inside, and no one knows it but you, that's why it's private. Something is missing. You're responsible. You show up. You handle your business. And people depend on you. From the outside, your life works. But inside, you feel tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix.

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Have you ever looked around your life and thought I should feel happier than this.

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Not because anything is wrong, but because something feels incomplete. If that's you, with what I've shared with you so far, I want you to lean in today. This is a solo episode, so no guest, just you and I. And you're not a guest. You've been following us here at She Shines with Coach KG, your family. And so this is a little family time. If this is your very first time with us at She Shines, I want to welcome you as a first-time guest, but hopefully you'll join the movement and become a part of the family. See, when I say that you feel incomplete, it's because your feeling is more common than you think. Oh, yes, it is. Now, let me just tell you, you're not ungrateful. You're not broken. And you're definitely not failing. You may be high functioning, but unfulfilled. That's the title of this solo episode today. High functioning but unfulfilled. Now let me tell you why you're high functioning. Because most of the time when you are functioning at a high level, you are somewhat that persona, that avatar. But if you are functioning at that high level, but you don't feel fulfilled, that's because the essence of you, the spirit of you, is not in the equation. As a coach, and honestly, as a woman myself, forget the title of coach. As a woman like you, I have lived seasons where everything looked productive. I was achieving. I was helping others show up for themselves. You know, if checking the boxes, let's put it this way: check in the box, every box was checked. But on one occasion, in my quiet time, God began nudging my heart.

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And the heart nudging had a quiet question. And here's the question. Are you living or are you managing? Let me say that again. Are you living or are you managing? Now, in listening to that question, I'm sure you feel, oh my goodness, because that's the way I felt. Because I realized I had mastered functioning.

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But I hadn't paused long enough to ask if my life still aligned with who I was becoming. Now you've heard me say the phrase, in alignment with my assignment. That phrase became very vital to help me go from high functioning to being fulfilled. Because you don't want to diminish your functioning. You just want to make sure that you include that alignment in the functioning. Because it's in that alignment that you truly become who you were designed to be. Many women I coach are right there too. I'm talking strong women, capable women, faithful women, women who know how to carry responsibility, but forgot how to feel alive. So let me take a moment, a teaching moment, if you will, a coaching moment. And I'm going to give you some truth. The truth is high functioning is a survival skill. Fulfillment is a soul condition. Your soul, your mind, your will, your emotions make up your soul. And fulfillment is a soul condition where functioning is a survival skill. You can be successful and still be disconnected from your essence. Your essence is the authentic spirit form of you. You can be productive and still feel empty because functioning ask, what needs to be done? What do I need to get done? That's functioning. Fulfillment ask, who am I becoming while I do what I need to do? So when you ask, who am I becoming while I do what I need to do? Fulfillment shows up. And when the two functioning and fulfillment drift apart, exhaustion shows up.

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You are tired. You can't even think properly. Because you are tired.

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So let me give you three signs. You ready? Take note, ladies. Take note. Take this to heart. Number one of the three signs that you're functioning, high functioning, but unfulfilled. Number one is you're always busy, but rarely satisfied. Oh my goodness. If you haven't heard, I have an acronym for busy. And that acronym is being under Satan's yoke.

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That's what busy is.

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B-U-S-Y. Being under Satan's yoke. That's why you're unsatisfied. Because Satan doesn't want you to be satisfied. Satan doesn't want you fulfilled. Satan doesn't want you to be in alignment with your assignment. He just wants you busy. And that looks like you're completing your goals, but the joy fades quickly. You move straight to the next responsibility. No pause.

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No celebration. That's number one.

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The second sign. The second sign that you are high functioning and not fulfilled. You feel responsible for everyone else's stability. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness, my goodness, my goodness. Now come on. I am not just sharing this with you. I know because I've been there. You are the strong one. I am a strong one. But what happens with the second sign that you're high functioning but not fulfilled is you are the helper. You are the fixer. You are the dependable one. Everyone comes to you because they know you'll help. They know they can count on you. And they know you are dependable. But somewhere along the way, you stopped asking what you needed.

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It was more important that you show up for everyone else.

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That's high functioning, but unfulfilled sign. Your last one, sign number three. You feel a quiet pull toward more.

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But can't define it.

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I just want more. But you can't define what more is. It's not more money. It's not more titles. What you need is more alignment, more peace, more purpose, more you. So again, just to recap, the first sign you're always busy being under Satan's joke, but never satisfied. Two, you feel responsible for everyone else's stability. And three, you want more, but you can't define it.

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Sometimes fulfillment begins when God allows discomfort.

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You may have heard me say people move only in these times, times of pleasure or times of pain.

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It's complacency if you're not feeling either one of those. And with complacency comes discomfort. Comfort can keep us functioning while purpose calls us forward movement.

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So what if this restlessness isn't a problem for you? What if it's an invitation? A invitation to realign with the woman you were designed to be.

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So I want to ask you three questions. Question number one.

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And let me encourage you to just write these questions down right now. And then in your time, your quiet time, your time of reflection, I want you to answer them honestly and truthfully, holding nothing back, downright raw. Okay? So here are the three questions for you to journal about. Where are you succeeding but not satisfied?

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Where are you succeeding but not satisfied?

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Number two, what role are you still carrying that no longer fits who you are becoming? What role are you still carrying that no longer fits who you are becoming?

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And the third final question If nothing changed externally, what would you change internally?

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If nothing changed externally, what would you change internally? So I invite you to pause with that. Pause with those questions. And there is a reason and a purpose for the pause. Because awareness is where transformation begins. So we're heightening your awareness. So transformation can begin. So you can truly become. The woman you were designed to be. Not the woman, the world curated for you to be.

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I think you probably heard the passion in my voice. I take transformation very seriously. The reason is I transformed.

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I went from high functioning unfulfilled to high functioning, fulfilled, in alignment with my assignment, knowing who I have been designed to be, the strengths, the talents, the gifts given to me. So if this conversation stirred something in you, it's no accident. Many women reach this point and realize they don't need to work harder.

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They need guidance, clarity, and space to rediscover themselves. The clients I have worked with on this discovery.

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They were guided, they received clarity. They were given a safe space to discover themselves or rediscover themselves. So if you're ready to move from simply functioning into living with alignment and purpose, I invite you to work with me. Whether it's through an upcoming workshop next month, two dates, March eighth, March twelfth, unless I have to change, but those are the dates that I've chosen. Whether you do the workshop or you believe you're ready for one-on-one coaching, you don't have to navigate the season of your life alone.

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I want to be your coach, your mentor because I truly believe I live so others' dreams can come true.

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Now, you'll be able to find the link in the show notes to schedule a discovery conversation with me.

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Absolutely free is this discovery conversation. And actually, I tell you what I'll do right now.

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This is the link if you're watching this on YouTube. It's candily dot com forward slash KGilliam fifty-seven forward slash discovery dash call. And if you didn't get it, don't worry about it. I will put it in the show notes. As a matter of fact, I believe I can do a hyperlink so you'll be able to go right to my calendar and schedule your free discovery session. Okay? All right. Remember this as I bring the solo episode of Coach KG or She Shines with Coach KG to a close. Remember this. You are not behind.

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You are not lost. You are evolving. There is an evolution season with your name on it.

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And sometimes fulfillment begins the moment you give yourself permission to want more than survival. I know Destiny's Child had that song. I am a survivor. But I want you to be more than just a survivor. I want you to be a thriver. A thriver. Surviving is you just getting by. I want you to thrive. So I invite you. I invite you to reach out to me, DM me, send me an email. All of this is available in the show notes. And I want you to join, again, if you're watching on YouTube, our She Shines 2025 group. I have reels on there that I just started doing. So you are surrounded by other women who want this community of women to support one another, to empower, encourage, and inspire one another, and to become a thriver, not just a survivor.

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Now, I'm gonna close with this.

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Nothing, no thing, that's what nothing is. No thing changes until you change your mind. I want you to keep rising, I want you to keep shining, and I want you to keep reclaiming.

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I love you.

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And let's do it. Until next time, this is Karen, Coach KG, Gilliam. Bye bye.

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Will you do your light or let your spirit break free? You got power inside you, more than you can see. Time to real life, reclaim what's meant to be.