The Becoming Series: She Chooses: The Power of Choosing Yourself

 Most women have been conditioned to prioritize everyone else’s needs before their own—until choosing themselves becomes not just a necessity, but a game-changer. Coach KG Gilliam unpacks the liberating power of self-acceptance in this transformative episode from the Becoming series, revealing why your dreams, boundaries, and growth should no longer be on the back burner.

Imagine a life where you confidently say yes to your own needs without guilt—or flipping the script on what “selfish” really means. Coach KG shares her personal journey of choosing independence after loss, highlighting how reclaiming your time, dreams, and purpose can lead to deeper fulfillment. This episode is your wake-up call to stop living in reaction and start consciously creating with clarity, boundaries, faith, and alignment.

You’ll discover:

• The five critical ways to truly choose yourself—clarity, boundaries, growth, alignment, and faith—that you can implement today

• How to shift from resentment and exhaustion to authentic fulfillment by honoring your own needs

• Why self-honoring isn’t selfish—It’s a vital act of self-love that transforms your life and legacy

• Practical coaching tips: daily mirror affirmations to reinforce your worth and purpose

• The importance of trusting your own path—even when others don’t understand or agree

These insights matter because ignoring your needs breeds burnout, regret, and unfulfilled potential. But mastering the art of self-commitment opens doors to a life of purpose, peace, and genuine happiness—no permission required.

Perfect for women in transition, those craving clarity, or anyone exhausted from putting others first, this episode empowers you to step into your power today. It’s time to decide—are you ready to finally choose yourself and create a life aligned with your deepest desires? Tune in, take action, and start radiating authenticity—your best life is waiting.

Coach KG Gilliam is a transformational coach, author, and speaker dedicated to helping women reclaim their power. Her inspiring journey of self-discovery guides this episode’s deep insights on living intentionally and fearlessly.

Remember: Your dreams are valid. Your needs matter. And the power to transform your life has always been yours. Will you choose yourself?

Book a free clarity session through the link in the show notes and start your journey today. It’s never too late to become the woman you were created to be.

Until next time, keep shining—your best life is just a decision away.

Free Clarity Session: https://calendly.com/kgilliam57/clarityconversation

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Karen, Coach KG Gilliam, transformational coach, author, speaker, and a woman who loves to share so you can be your authentic self and live your best life. We rise here at She Shines with Coach KG, we reclaim and we radiate. Today we continue with the becoming series. Today's episode is She Chooses The Power of Choosing Yourself. What if choosing yourself wasn't selfish? What if it was absolutely necessary? For many years women have been taught to take care of everyone else first. Be the helper, be the giver, be the strong one, be dependable, be flexible, be available, be teachable. And somewhere along the way they lost themselves. Today I want to talk about the power of choosing yourself. Not because others don't matter, but because you matter too. Welcome to part five of the Becoming Series. She chooses. So as we continue with this podcast and this series, the Becoming Series, please don't forget we rise, we reclaim, and we radiate.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

We've talked about believing.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

We've talked about taking action. We've talked about becoming. So I just want to let you know that all four of the previous episodes are available to you on Apple, on Spotify, and Buzz Sprout. For those of you that that is the other platform that I use to download the episode from Riverside. So now we arrive at something many women struggle with.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

And I'm included in those women. Choosing themselves.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Because for many of us, choosing ourselves feels uncomfortable. It feels like we're being selfish. It feels like we may be a little confcocky or overconfident.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

It even feels unfamiliar.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Instead of always wanting someone else to take care of you, who knows you better than you? So take care of yourself. Choose yourself. Sometimes it even feels wrong. But what if choosing yourself is exactly what this season requires? Let me give you a little personal reflection. As I am preparing for my own next chapter, I've had to make many choices. And not because everyone agreed with them. Arizona, I hear, oh, it's too hot there. Or have you heard that Arizona is running out of water? Oh, you know, that's that's the state that that newscaster from the Today Show's mom was abducted from.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

Choose you. Choose you.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

I have been for everybody else. Can I tell you that for the last five these five years since my husband passed, this is the first time I've been independent. And I think sometimes people think they're doing you a favor by giving their opinion. And oh, by all means, they are entitled to their opinion. And I know they have my best interest at heart.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

But I'm choosing myself.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

I'm choosing myself and I'm making these choices not because everyone agreed with them. I just told you that. Not because they were easy.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Not because I'm running away.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

No, I'm running too to be aligned. I'm choosing adventure as opposed to just day in, day out doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. That's called insanity. I'm choosing possibility. So I don't have to ever wonder. I wonder what would have happened if I would have gone on that adventure. I'm choosing growth. Yes, even at my age, I'm still growing. I'm still learning. Therefore, I'm growing and developing. I'm choosing to trust myself. And here's what I've learned. The people who love you may not always understand your choices. But that doesn't make your choices wrong. You cannot live your life according to everyone else's comfort level.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

At some point, you have to ask what do I want? What do I need? What is God calling me toward? And then have the courage to answer honestly. So that's a little personal reflection.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Now I want to get into why women struggle to choose themselves. Many of us were rewarded for self-sacrifice. We became experts at caring for everyone else's needs. Our children, our spouses, our parents, employers, friends, communities. And while there is beauty in serving others, don't get me wrong, there is a beauty in serving others. There is also a danger in abandoning yourself. You know, I remember my coach saying to me that I had to fill my wagon on a daily basis. Because she said, Karen, if you're going to pull that wagon and you're always giving out of it, when do you have time to fill it so you can continue to give? Eventually, you wake up and realize you've been showing up for everyone else except yourself. Some people would say their perception of what I'm talking about would say, Oh, you're just being selfish and self-honoring. Let's clear this up right now, okay? Let's just clear something up. Choosing yourself is not selfish. Did you hear me? Choosing yourself is not selfish. Selfish says, only I matter. Selfish says, Oh, forget about them.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

I'm looking out for me. When you're self-honoring, that says I matter too. See? There's a difference. You can love your family and choose yourself.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

You can serve others and choose yourself. You can support people and choose yourself. Choosing yourself, ladies, simply means you stop putting your dreams, your healing, your growth, and your purpose at the bottom of the list. There will be a hefty price to pay for not choosing yourself. We all understand costs, so let me just tell you what happens if you don't choose yourself. When you continually ignore your own needs, something happens.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

And this is what happens. You get resentful. And that resentment grows. You are tired. So that exhaustion grows. You are frustrated and that frustration grows.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

You begin living a life that looks successful from the outside, but feels unfulfilled on the inside. You sorta fake it till you make it. But do you ever make it? Are you still paying the price?

SPEAKER_00 17:47

And then years pass. I don't want that for you.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

I want you to discover this even before me. In a few weeks I'll be sixty-nine. And I know there are listeners out there younger than me. I'm going to be your biggest cheerleader. As I watch you rise, reclaim, and radiate. See, even at my age, I've come to realize I don't want that for me. I don't want us to arrive at the end of our lives wondering what would have happened if we had trusted ourselves. So I'm going to give you five ways to choose yourself. So this is our coaching moment. So hopefully you have pen and paper, or if you're driving or exercising, or as you're listening, you'll just have to uh replay and uh find out what those five ways to choose yourself. Number one, you know, you know what I'm gonna say. You got to choose clarity. You have to be crystal clear, you have to stop drifting and wandering. Do you want to continue to be a wandering generality or a mindful specific?

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Get honest about what you want?

SPEAKER_01 20:08

Not what others expect from you, not what you've always done.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

What do you want? Number two choose boundaries. Requires a no. And I also say, please respect my no. Protect your peace. Protect your energy. Protect your becoming. Number three. Choose growth.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

Don't stay where you have outgrown. Growth often feels uncomfortable before it feels rewarding. I actually, to be honest with you, have had thoughts in my mind of when I land in Arizona. Am I going to be uncomfortable? You better believe it. This is totally different from when I was a seminar trainer, corporate trainer, traveling the country doing seminars.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

This is me for the very first time living alone, somewhere new.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

So there's going to have to be some uncomfortableness, comfortableness, I guess that's a word, before it becomes rewarding.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

But I want to still do it. Number four.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Choose alignment. You've heard me say. Be in alignment with your assignment. So make decisions based on your values. Your values should be non-compromising or uncompromising.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

What do you value? What are your non negotiables?

SPEAKER_01 23:24

Not fear, not guilt, not pressure. Alignment creates peace.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

Peace. Number five. I saved the best for last.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

But it is definitely first for me.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

Choose faith. We walk by faith, not by sight.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

You may not know every detail. You may not know what it's going to look like. You may not even see the whole path, the pathway. But if you just trust that first step or the next step, you're headed in the right direction. Faith and fear cannot operate in the same space. Do you understand that? They can't choose faith. Now faith is the substance of things hoped for.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

The evidence of things not yet seen.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

I have to tell you, since we're talking about fear over faith of faith over fear. Fear is never going to be over faith. The other day I was talking to someone, and I told them I'd come up with this quote.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

And now that I'm going to share that quote with you. Let me say it one more time. Fear can have a seat at the table, but it doesn't get a vote. So that was your coaching moment.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

The five ways to choose yourself. Now it's time for some reflection questions as your success work. Okay? I want you to take a moment and ask yourself. Where have I abandoned myself? What dream have I put on hold? You know.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

You know the dream that you put on hold for years? What am I saying yes to that no longer aligns? And what is one decision I need to make this week?

SPEAKER_01 28:11

All right, you know I have you know how I am. I can give you the coaching tips, I can give you the questions to journal about, but execution is critical. So I want you to stand in front of a mirror this week. And I challenge you to do it every day. You're going to be in the mirror anyway, right?

SPEAKER_00 28:46

So while you're in the mirror, I want you to look at yourself and make sure you're looking in the eyes and say, I am worthy of my own time.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

I am worthy of my own dreams. I am worthy of my own healing. I am worthy of my own next chapter. Today and every day I choose me. Not because I'm better than anyone else.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

It's not a competition, but because I matter to Ladies, here's the bottom line truth.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Every woman I coach eventually arrives at this question. Will I continue living according to everyone else's expectations?

SPEAKER_00 30:38

Or will I finally honor my own calling? That choice changes everything. So here's your call to action. Execution.

SPEAKER_01 31:06

You're going to do the mirror every day. You're going to write down the statements I said earlier. Look yourself in the eye and say them. But then we have one more step. If you're in a season of transition, if you're ready to stop putting yourself last. And I'll also have it in the description when I post the episode on social media.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

Let's explore what's possible when you choose yourself. Because the life you desire isn't waiting for permission, it's waiting for a decision.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

Either way, you're making one. If you decide to take the step, do the clarity session, walk alongside me, that decision is going to be a lot better than the one you're currently making. Because if you aren't doing, being, have what you truly want and need, you're living a life that will lead to regret.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

It's never too late. It's never too late. She chooses. What will you choose?

SPEAKER_01 34:10

You don't need permission to become who you were created to be. You don't need approval to pursue your next chapter. You don't need validation to honor your dreams.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

You know why? The power has always been yours.

SPEAKER_01 34:43

The question is, will you choose yourself? Will you choose yourself? Until next time, ladies, as we continue the becoming series. Keep shining. I love you. I believe in you. And just like my coach said to me, I'll believe in you until you believe in yourself. Take care until next week. This is Coach KG signing off.

SPEAKER_02 35:33

Will you do your light or let your spirit break free? You got power inside you. More than you can see.