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HOUSE OF H.E.R
Welcome to House of H.E.R. (Healed, Empowered, Rich) a space for women who have been through it… and are choosing themselves anyway.
This podcast is hosted by Hollie a mum, survivor of domestic abuse, late-diagnosed with ADHD, and a woman rebuilding her life from the inside out. House of H.E.R. is rooted in real experiences of domestic abuse trauma, healing, and starting again when everything you thought you were has fallen away.
Here we talk about emotional and domestic abuse, trauma bonding, ADHD, nervous system healing, self-worth, identity loss, motherhood, and the messy middle of becoming someone new. These are honest conversations for women who are tired of pretending they’re fine and ready to feel safe in themselves again.
This podcast is for the woman who is just coming out of survival mode. The woman who is exhausted, confused, grieving who she used to be, and questioning everything but still standing. If you’re learning how to feel again, how to trust yourself again, and how to exist without fear, this space was made for you.
You don’t need to be healed to be here. You don’t need the answers. You just need somewhere that understands what it costs to leave and what it takes to begin again.
HOUSE OF H.E.R
You’re Not Overthinking: Coercive Control, Gut Feelings & Finding Clarity
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
In this episode, Hollie sits down with Holly, founder of Vera and Vale Private Investigations, to unpack the reality of emotional abuse, coercive control, gut instinct, manipulation, and what happens when your reality has been distorted for so long that you stop trusting yourself.
From the early warning signs of unhealthy behaviour to control disguised as care, this conversation dives into the hidden side of abuse that so many women live through but struggle to name. Holly brings a unique perspective through her lived experience, criminology studies, published research, police background, and investigative work helping women gain clarity when they feel confused, dismissed, or made to feel like they’re going mad.
This episode is honest, insightful, and incredibly validating for anyone who has ever felt like something was wrong but couldn’t fully explain why.
What we cover in this episode:
• what coercive control actually is and why so many women don’t recognise it at first
• the early signs of emotional abuse and “control disguised as care”
• why you feel like you’re going mad in certain relationships
• the difference between gut instinct and trauma after abuse
• how manipulation and gaslighting distort your reality
• why “you’re overthinking” is often used to dismiss what you’re actually noticing
• the link between infidelity, deception and emotional abuse
• how a private investigator can help you gain clarity in confusing situations
• the power of facts vs feelings when you’re stuck in self-doubt
• rebuilding trust in yourself after your reality has been distorted
To get in touch with hollie, please visit her website where you can fill in a contact form: https://veraandvale.co.uk or send her a dm on instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/veraandvalelondon/ X
Support & resources:
if anything discussed in this episode has affected you, please know you are not alone and support is available
• national domestic abuse helpline (uk) – 0808 2000 247 (24/7, free & confidential)
• women’s aid – https://www.womensaid.org.uk
• refuge – https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk
• nspcc (for concerns around children) – 0808 800 5000
• clare’s law (the right to ask) – you can apply through your local police force to find out if a partner has a history of abuse
• non-molestation order information – https://www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence
if you are in immediate danger, please call 999
House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.
Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀