Episode 25: Why So Tired & What-A-Do

Summary:

     In this episode of That’s Just Human,  Elisha LightAngel, thoroughly explores burnout, defining it as a state of deep fatigue, sadness, anger, and lack of motivation that arises from constant draining activities and neglected self-care. The host illustrates common causes through her personal experiences, such as burnout as a single mother juggling multiple jobs and later from a financially and emotionally draining relationship.

     Elisha explains that burnout impacts physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, leading to symptoms like depression and a compromised immune system. To combat this, she advocates for a holistic self-care approach. Key strategies include setting boundaries to avoid people-pleasing, prioritizing adequate sleep, consuming nourishing food and water, engaging in physical movement, seeking sunlight, practicing mindfulness and deep breathing, utilizing music for mood shifts, and fostering meaningful, non-toxic social connections. The overarching message is to evaluate and eliminate draining elements from life, consciously adopting practices that replenish energy, and cultivating a more joyful human experience.

Time Stamps:

• [00:00:00,000] Introduction
• [00:01:32,220] Burnout is a relatable human experience 
• [00:02:32,730] Burnout story 1
• [00:04:22,660] Burnout story 2
• [00:06:15,500] Burnout 
• [00:07:16,240] Self-care is defined
• [00:08:06,640] To address burnout
• [00:10:52,030] People-pleasing drains energy 
• [00:13:43,060] Giving without receiving energy in return
• [00:14:37,170] Physical Self-Care
• [00:17:29,710] Mental/Emotional Self-Care
• [00:18:32,950] Nutrition & Hydration
• [00:20:12,739] Movement & Sleep
• [00:22:03,210] Resources 
• [00:22:54,780] The overall message is summarized.
• [ 00:23:45,630 ] Conclusion

Oldenburg Inventory:

https://www.mdapp.co/oldenburg-burnout-inventory-olbi-calculator-606/

Burnout to Bounceback Workbook:

https://payhip.com/b/ef8ji

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Because of those, you might be feeling depressed or sad or any angry at the world. Um different emotions, nothing's motivating you, and life isn't feeling great anymore. You're just going through the rhythms. This really does match a lot of kind of what depression brings up in us because burnout can cause you to go into a state of depression. Hello and welcome to That's Just Human, a podcast that explores all aspects of being human, living in a human body, and dealing with life's obstacles. I'm your host, Elisha Light Angel, and by day I'm a massage therapist, and like you, I live in a human body and I have a plethora of human experiences. So here is my space to talk about experiences that we all have, spout to you a little bit of life advice from my own perspective, and get other people's perspectives as well. Today is a solo episode where you get to hear from my little chatter brain, and I'm delving into a topic that some of you might be experiencing right now, or you may have experienced at different points in life, and it's I feel something that's relatable and definitely part of having the human experience. So because we're human, we are subject to being tired and drained and not being to go all the time. So we live in this society, in this world that wants us to constantly be doing something from the time we wake up to the time we go to bed, doing things that are draining us from our own energy physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, like all of those can be draining in different ways. And the amount of tiredness or the amount of exhaustion that we feel that is associated can manifest from any one of those areas of our life where we are not taking care of ourselves, we're not being fed, we're not doing what's best for us. So I know all about burnout because I've been burnt out a few times in life. I would say the first time was definitely once I became a single mom. Um at that point, I was working two jobs, just trying to, you know, pay bills, feed my kid, make sure he was taken care of. And it was stressful to be a full-time mom and um work two almost full-time jobs and try and just keep going. Like there's a point where you get really, really tired. There's a point where you start to wonder, why am I working so hard and not getting to reap any benefits? And by benefits, I mean just being able to relax, to have a Saturday off and not have to do anything, because that wasn't a luxury that I had at that point in life. I had to work one job which covered all of my bills, but then I needed to pay for some someone to keep my son. So I had to get another job to cover childcare. That's just how it was. So the other times that I had off, I was doing, you know, adult-y things like laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, running whatever errands needed to be done for the day. That's kind of just how life went on at that point. And I did it day in, day out. Didn't matter if I was tired, I just pushed through because it felt like there wasn't any other options. And a lot of times we get to points in life where we feel like we don't have any option but to keep doing what it is we do. We also don't know any other ways. It wasn't until I started making a life change, which was going to massage school, that things started to shift for me at that point. And it was a whole series of events, but I'm just trying to give to the fact that I've been burnt out. I've also been burnt out from later on in life when I had a partner that was very, very draining. He didn't contribute anything, and um, I was financially upholding him when I didn't have it to give. I was fine, I was emotionally upholding him. And while I might have been able to do the emotional toil, I couldn't do that and the financial at the same time. And the culmination of that three-year relationship really left me feeling drained in ways that I I almost feel like it took another three years to fully rejuvenate my internal spirit and my energy to where it had been prior to starting that. So it taught me a lot about different factors in our life that can pull from us and then leave us feeling drained. And when we feel drained, we might not be thinking, oh, I'm burnt out and this is what I'm experiencing. Instead, you might be feeling that you're tired or you're fatigued or you're exhausted. I would say those definitely help top the chart. Because of those, you might be feeling depressed or sad or angry at the world. Um different emotions, nothing's motivating you, and life isn't feeling great anymore. You're just going through the rhythms. This really does match a lot of kind of what depression brings up in us because burnout can cause you to go into a state of depression, and it's depression like from the mind, your body is feeling depressed, so you might even be more apt to be getting sick because your immune system is depressed. So all of these different aspects of your being, physically, mentally, emotionally, are de not pressed, not pressed down, they're they're feeling heavy, they're feeling burdened. You are feeling heavy, you're feeling burdened. This is things that happen when we start to get burned out. So since it's usually not an option to just stop living your life, go off into the forest or onto a beach, I don't know, whatever's your jam, and say, forget the rest of the world, I'm just gonna go live out here. Because I definitely had those thoughts at points in life where it felt overwhelming, and I just wanted to get it away from it all, from the stressors or the things that I felt that were pressuring me in life and in society in general. So, how do we get over that hump? How do we nurture ourselves? This is what it's really taught me about self-care, because self-care is about bringing elements into our life that are constantly meeting the different needs that we have and meeting the needs of our future self so that we're taken care of and can show up to do our work, to care for the people, the family, little ones in our life, or older parents, whoever it is, to do the hobbies and the special interests that you desire to do, to have the physical energy to go out and do all of the different things that you actually want to do. So self-care, it's meeting your needs and picking one little act. If we're in the state of burnout, there's gotta be something that's gonna shift, and maybe even something needs to majorly shift in your life. Maybe it's going into reflection and asking, what are the different things in my life at this moment that I feel are detracting from me? What are the things that are pulling out the joy that I would like to have on a regular basis? And evaluate those. Are they something that you can eliminate from your life? Are they something that you can make a change? Because it could be some kind of a habit that you have. So if you're stagnant in life, and this is a physical thing, you're stagnant, you're sitting all of the time, you're not taking extra time to go out and exercise to move your body. So everything's going to get stiff. Your joints kind of get stiff, your muscles get stiff, your body's just stiff. Then that counterbalance to that is to actually move your body. When you're moving your body, you're not feeling stiff. So it helps to actually move some of that stagnant energy because you haven't had it, and therefore, you have a newfound freedom in your body of movement, of feeling better, of maybe not having some of the pains that are associated with feeling stiff. That's one physical example. Maybe um, maybe it's work because work takes up a really big chunk of our life. On average, you know, 40 hours. Some people it's more, some people it's less, but it's a huge component of your life. How much of your job are you able to just leave at your job? And how much are you bringing home with you? Is it an option to leave that there and you're just bringing it home? Is your job taking more from you than it's giving to you? Evaluate what that return is and figure out what is the best solution. It could be another area of your life, it could be uh somebody that you have a relationship with, whether that's a family relationship, a partner relationship, or a friendship that is causing an area of strain. Evaluate that. Do you need to modify how you're showing up in that relationship? It could be that the other person is maybe they have more of a temper or they're used to running all over you and you happen to be a people pleaser. Well, people pleasing will drain your energy super fast. And you get tired of it, but then you keep doing it because it's this internal pull and desire to be liked. Even if you don't like a person, you still want to be liked by a person. It's this human psychology that we have. And yet, when you're people pleasing, you're not having boundaries. That's letting people basically walk all over you, push you around. You're doing things that you may not be comfortable with, you may not want to do, you may not have the time or the energy for, but you all want to be that yes person because there's an internal fear that not saying yes is going to lead to you being outcast somehow. That is a natural human element that goes back to like tribal days because once upon a time we didn't have as much individualism and ability to take care of ourselves as an individual that we are right now. We really relied interdependently on all of the community around us, and that was our family, our extended family, the other members of however many were conglomerated into the community. So if you became outcast, chances you were you were gonna die. Well, in our current times, you're probably gonna live and you're gonna be able to take care of yourself. It's just a pain point emotionally, and it's hard to overcome. But when you look at how much energy you're losing to try and please other people, maybe that can be your reminder each time you come into a scenario and a situation to try and do a little bit better to instead of people please others, people please yourself. And know that when you're people pleasing yourself, you're putting energy back into your own pot. Like if we were in a game, they have the little energy bars or energy lightning strikes, and it can be drained or it can go up. So think of things that you're doing as being either energy giving or as of energy taking away. So, which of those things in your life are giving? Because you have to have a good balance and be receiving in order for you to give. So if all your plate is full of you constantly giving, but you're not receiving anything in return that's filling up your energy, then you have nothing to give. This is when you get burnt out, just like a candle burns out, it's gone. You it has nothing left to give, no more light, no more wax. So things that you can do, just um small little actions, and when you do pick an action, just pick one, just pick one thing you can do. Do that for a little while and see what kind of an impact that has on your life. So getting sunlight, even in the winter, we still need sunlight, so it could be the fake UV ray lights, or I know there's like a sunlight light that they make. I don't have one. Um best thing is to go out at least in the middle of the day, get a few minutes of sunlight. It really helps the body to process and it wakes you up and refreshes you, and people that are getting sunlight every day tend to feel a little bit happier, tend to feel more energized. I know I have stepped outside before and gotten some sunlight, and it's just um like not staring at it, but looking in its direction with my eyes closed and feeling the rays just hit my skin, feeling that warmth that the sun offers, it definitely is a pick-me-up in the middle of the day if I feel like I'm slumping because I've been inside too much. Meaningful connections, connections, you know, in general, if you have no connections whatsoever, making any connections, but beyond that, having meaningful connections, these are those true, like deep friendships or deep conversations that you get into with another person, and you feel seen and heard, and they feel seen and heard. It's really beautiful to create this dynamic with another human being and to be present with one another and just be there for one another. These connections fuel our lives and they bring us joy and happiness. It is the people in our lives that add to the fullness of our life. And if you're surrounded by people that aren't adding to your fullness, they might not be the right people for you. I hate to break that to you. And if they're toxic, they're definitely not the right people for you. Um living in the present moment, which is hard to do, and I might do a whole episode on that someday. But learning how to just intentionally be here right now in this moment will allow you to sustain any energy. You're not thinking about the things that are coming up that you need to worry about, you're not dwelling on things that might have happened or that are worrying you or causing you a heartache or whatever that the brain is putting you through. It's putting all of that, leaving the past in the past, living in the future be yet to be determined and experience what is happening right now and this moment. Music, music is so phenomenal for helping to shift the mood. There's all sorts of music that has all sorts of moods. So if you need to take yourself from one mood, one vibration, into another, pick some songs or a playlist that emanates that. After a couple songs, you are sure to be moving from whatever state you are in into a new one because music is magical like that, and it's awesome. Another thing you can get some of that energy from is just being mindfully taking deep breaths so that that just sitting, kind of coming into that present moment, but you're like feeling into your body, so you inhale and you inhale slowly, and just feel how the air comes in through your nose, passes down your throat, expands into your lungs, and then it moves from your lungs out your throat, out your nose without effort and ease. Just focusing on slow breathing for a couple minutes can change your state of being, especially if you are prone to the anxiety. It can really tap on calming down your vagus nerve, which is responsible for the fight-flight freeze response that we have, and help bring you in the here and now, help be able to calm your mind. I absolutely love breathing. It's uh, I mean, not just the breath that we do every day, but mindful breathing or specific breathing techniques. I love them. I love them all. Something that you can incorporate in your everyday life is nourishing food, and that means not going and eating a bunch of crap. Um, fast food. It means, you know, probably pre-planning a little bit so that you could have some of the foods that fuel your body better. Because when you're eating better, then your body's functioning better. When your body's functioning better, then you have more energy. And it doesn't happen overnight. This can be a slow process. So, one thing that not enough people do is get enough water, and when you don't have enough water, you start to get dehydrated. When you're dehydrated, you start to feel more tired, your muscles start to ache, your joints start to feel stiff. Drink water, and you can see some positive results within a few days to a week of getting a substantial amount of water into your body and making sure that your body is hydrated. Hydration helps your body have energy, which therefore helps your brain, helps the rest of you have a little bit more energy. Likewise, if you're feeling stiff, as we spoke about earlier, add some movement in. I'm not talking about crazy vigorous exercise. Anything that's more than what you're doing now is sufficient. Make sure, do something that just moves your joints in the morning, get the fingers going, um, bend the elbows and the wrist, you know, move. Move in ways that gets the joints just moving, and that helps to get some of the stiffness out. It doesn't have to be anything complicated. Go take a walk around the block, doesn't have to be for a long time. Any movement counts as movement, getting your proper sleep. Um, I know sometimes that's hard. If you're out there and you're like me, or you know, back when I was a single mom and I had two jobs, I definitely was not getting that much sleep because I didn't have that many hours to actually be sleeping. So I was tired all the time. And at this point in my life, I really love my eight hours of sleep a night. My body loves eight hours of sleep a night, sometimes more. And I can get by with seven, but making sure that proper sleep is happening on a regular basis as your body gets used to this and it knows how much rest it's going to get, then energy levels can start to increase because your body's starting to receive the rest that it needs. So, on like the food level, you have that nourishing food that you're accounting for, and then you have to give up some of the junk food. Junk food can be really depleting because you're eating something, your stomach's getting Something signals are sent to the brain, but it's not nourishing food, it doesn't, it's not full of a bunch of the natural vitamins and minerals that our body needs to subsist on. So it's draining you, it can add to the burnout. So these are just some of the things that you can do that kind of help to shift from that burnout phase into a less burnt-out phase and to eventually a much better, more taking care of self. Um, if you suspect that you're experiencing burnout, there is something called the Oldenbird Burnout Inventory. You can look that up, but I'm also going to put a link to one of the many places that are on the internet that have a little test you can take. It's like 16 questions, and it's one of those where you answer you agreed or strongly agree, disagree or strongly disagree. So there's no in between you're either agreeing or you're not agreeing, or you're very strongly agreeing or not agreeing with the statements, and then they give you um different scores of what that is. However, if you've listened to this whole episode and you recognize some of the symptoms in your life, you might be experiencing burnout as well. So take that, take some steps to take care of yourself so that you can feel better, so that you can have a more joyful existence in your own human experience. Because isn't that part of what it's about? Trying to find those areas of life that do bring us joy? Because there's plenty of areas that don't. So let's find the ones that do. If you're interested, I'll also put in the show notes a link to a little uh workbook I have called Burnout to Bounce Back if you're interested in that. So thank you so much for joining me. If you're still here and you're on YouTube, please subscribe, like, comment. All of that helps the algorithm. And on Spotify, you can give me five stars. On Apple iTunes, you can give me some stars and a comment. All of that helps get my podcast out to more people. You can share it with friends that you think might like hearing this as well. I appreciate you listening to me. It means so much as you embrace your humanness, be kind, to be you, and remember everything is part of the journey.