The 5 Pillars of Executive Function: A Checkup for Decision-Making and Reliability

How well do you actually manage your space, time, relationships, affairs, and self? Most of us assume we have it figured out. This episode might change your mind.

In this conversation, we unpack Matt Norman's five pillars of executive function, a framework he originally built for his twin sons graduating high school, then turned on himself approaching 50. Each pillar is a lens for evaluating how you make decisions and whether people can count on you.

If you're honest with yourself, there's probably one area dragging the rest down. This episode will help you find it.

Read the full article at mattnorman.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to today's deep dive. I want you to imagine uh sitting at your teenager's high school graduation.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Oh wow. Yeah. A big moment.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Right. You're watching them walk across the stage, the music is playing, the cameras are flashing. But instead of just feeling this overwhelming wave of pride, you're like suddenly gripped by panic.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Because you realize they're about to be on their own.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Exactly. You look at these kids you've managed for 18 years and wonder, you know, are they actually ready? Do they have the executive function to survive out there in the real world?

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Aaron Ross Powell Right. Like when you finally stop waking them up for school and managing their calendars.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Yeah. And that is exactly where author Matt Norman found himself recently. He was agonizing over his twin boy's ability to make reliable decisions.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Which is such a common fear for parents.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

It is. But then, with his own 50th birthday looming just around the corner, he took that magnifying glass he was holding over his kids and he turned it completely around.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Oh wow. Pointed it right at himself.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Right. He started asking the hard questions, like, wait a minute, how reliable am I? How well do I manage my own life?

SPEAKER_00 1:08

That's a really vulnerable pivot.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

It really is. He wanted to know is it actually possible to update and improve my own executive function at 50? Or, you know, am I just stuck with the habits I have?

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Aaron Ross Powell Well, culturally, we really do treat executive function as this developmental milestone that you either nail by age 25 or you completely miss.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Right, like it's just a phase.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Exactly. We talk about it constantly with middle schoolers who, you know, forget their gym clothes, or college freshmen completely drowning in unstructured time.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Right, but it's not just for kids.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

No. Framing it as a lifelong practice completely shifts the paradigm. It means executive function isn't just this permanent trait you were born with.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

It's a system.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Yes. It's a system that requires continuous maintenance. It's an ongoing process of optimization that applies just as much to a seasoned executive as it does to a high school graduate.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

I think the best way to visualize this concept of executive function, since you know it can sound like a clinical, neuroscientific buzzword, is to look at the smartphone sitting in your pocket right now.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

I love a good tech analogy.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Right. So your executive function is the operating system. It's iOS, it's Android, it runs quietly in the background all the time.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Aaron Powell And you don't interact directly with the operating system, right? You interact with your apps.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Exactly. The apps are your daily tasks. They're your work meetings, your grocery runs, your friendships, your hobbies.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

All the stuff you actually care about.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Yeah. And we usually only notice the operating system when things start freezing.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

Aaron Powell Like when your battery grains from 100% to zero in an hour.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Right. Or an app keeps crashing back to the home screen. When your daily life starts crashing, like when you snap at a coworker or forget a crucial deadline, well, it feels like an app failure.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

But really it's an OS failure.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Exactly. The background management system is just overloaded.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

And the underlying psychological reality actually mirrors that technology analogy perfectly. Executive function encompasses all those cognitive management skills that allow you to plan, focus attention, and juggle multiple tasks successfully.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Which takes a lot of mental energy.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

It really does. It's your working memory, your flexible thinking, and your inhibitory control.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Meaning your ability to stop an automatic impulse.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

Exactly. When you say the OS is overloaded, neurologically what's happening is that your prefrontal cortex is just overwhelmed by the sheer volume of data it has to process. Wow. Yeah. And Norman's reflections map out a very specific diagnostic checkup to prevent those crashes. We have to start from the outermost layers of our daily lives and move inward.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Okay. So where do we start?

SPEAKER_00 3:45

We have to look at the physical environment first.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Which means looking around the room you were sitting in right now, like the physical space.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

This covers your home office, the kitchen counter, uh the backseat of your car. Yep. All of it. And the immediate instinct when assessing our space is to ask if it's clean, right? Like or organized.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

Aaron Ross Powell But there is a massive difference between a clean space and an essential space.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Okay, wait. Let me push back on that a bit. Because you can easily take a stack of unopened mail, you know, three dirty coffee mugs and a tangle of charging cables and just sweep them off your desk and shove them into a drawer.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

People do it all the time.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Right. And the surface looks pristine, it looks clean. Does that actually solve the executive function problem, or is it just a band-aid?

SPEAKER_00 4:30

It is definitely a band-aid. Hiding the mess actually highlights the executive function deficit. Shoving things in a drawer is just a mechanism of avoidance.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

Because the mess is still there.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Exactly. To stick with your smartphone analogy, taking a messy desk and shoving everything into a closet is like having 50 heavy applications running in the background while you stare at a blank home screen.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Oh wow. I never thought about it like that.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Right. You can't see the apps, but the processor is still working to maintain them, and your battery is still draining rapidly. That is wild. Psychologists actually refer to this as the zygarnik effect. It's the tendency of the brain to remember uncompleted or interrupted tasks better than completed ones.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

So your brain literally knows that closet is a disaster zone.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Exactly. That unresolved spatial issue creates a cognitive load that constantly eats away at your mental bandwidth.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

That invisible battery drain is so real. Like I feel it every time I walk past the hall closet that I know I just threw a bunch of coats and boxes into.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

We all have that one closet.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

We really do. But the framework asks an even deeper question about our spaces, right? It asks, do they accurately reflect your core values?

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Which is a profound question.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

It feels like a really high bar for the backseat of a sedan. But I guess if you claim to value, say, creativity and calm, yet your workspace is covered in old tax forms and broken pens, there's intense friction there.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

There is. You have friction between what you say you want and what your environment demands of you. The physical environment constantly primes the brain.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Meaning what exactly?

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Well, if you value deep focused work, but your desk is littered with visual reminders of tedious administrative tasks, you are forcing your prefrontal cortex to expend energy filtering out those distractions before you even begin to work.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

So you're tired before you even start typing.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Exactly. By curating a space that is essential meaning, keeping only what actively supports your current goals and values, you are externalizing your executive function.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Uh, offloading the work.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

Right. You are offloading some of that management work from your brain to your physical environment.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Okay. So if the physical space is the hardware of our environment, then time is the dimension the operating system moves through.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

I like that.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

Moving into the second pillar, managing time is where a lot of us feel that battery drain the absolute fastest. It's not just about keeping a calendar.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

No, it's about ruthlessly prioritizing. Trevor Burrus, Jr.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Right. It's the constant battle of ensuring that what is truly important to your life doesn't get hijacked by what is merely urgent or, you know, just flashy in the moment.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Aaron Powell And that distinction between important and urgent is the real battleground for your working memory and self-control.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Because the modern world is engineered to manufacture urgency. Every notification, every breaking news alert, every email ping is designed to hijack your attention.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

So managing your time requires stepping out of that reactive state.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

Right. Because when you lack executive function, you are entirely at the mercy of whatever stimulus is placed directly in front of you. You don't decide how your day unfolds. Algorithms and other people's emergencies decide for you.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Okay. I want you to think about the classic trap of doom scrolling. We've all been there. Oh, definitely. You block out a Tuesday evening, you tell yourself, at 8 p.m., I'm gonna sit down and read that book I bought, or I'm going to work on my business plan. Right.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

That's the important task.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Yeah. That aligns with your core values.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

But then 8 p.m. rolls around, you sit on the couch, and you decide to check just one notification on your phone. Just one.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Famous last words.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Right. Suddenly it is 9 45 p.m. You are 50 videos deep into a feed about like people restoring antique furniture or whatever the algorithm served you.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

Yep. The urgency of that immediate dopamine hit completely overwrote your important long-term plan.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

Neurologically, what is actually happening there?

SPEAKER_00 8:23

You are watching the primitive parts of the brain, the reward centers that seek immediate gratification, completely overpower the prefrontal cortex. Wow. Yeah, the dopamine hit of the new information signals to the brain that this scrolling activity is vital for survival. It creates a full sense of urgency.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

So how does executive function fix that?

SPEAKER_00 8:42

High executive function is the manual override. It's the mental machinery that allows you to pause, recognize the dopamine trap, and say, no, reading this book is more aligned with my long-term goals.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Aaron Powell So it builds a firewall.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Exactly. It builds a firewall to protect your intended schedule from those efficiency traps. Aaron Powell Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

So we've locked in the physical space and we've firewalled our daily schedules against the algorithms. But we don't operate in a vacuum. The real stress test for your operating system happens when it inevitably networks with someone else's operating system.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Aaron Powell Yes. Which brings us to the third pillar.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

Trevor Burrus Right. Managing relationships, both personal and professional. It's about the quality, breadth, and depth of how we interact with others.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

Aaron Powell And this area demands a very high level of cognitive flexibility. One of the main pitfalls here is the tendency to overfunction.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Aaron Powell Overfunction. What does that look like?

SPEAKER_00 9:36

Aaron Powell This happens when you do someone else's job for them, whether it's a colleague who keeps missing deadlines or, you know, a child struggling with a school project.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

Aaron Powell Oh, because stepping in just feels easier in the moment than holding them accountable.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Exactly. We often disguise overfunctioning as being helpful, but fundamentally it is driven by our own anxiety.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Wait, really?

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Yeah, it's a failure to tolerate the discomfort of watching someone else struggle.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Ah, so it is entirely about control. Like if I do it myself, I know it gets done right, and my anxiety drops.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Aaron Powell Right. But in the long term, it breeds deep resentment.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

And the other person never learns. You are actually depriving them of the opportunity to build their own executive function.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

But you know, the most striking element of the relationship framework for me was how we handle conflict. The idea that reliable leaders maintain a posture of grace.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

Right. Practicing curiosity.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Yes. Practicing curiosity when they are tempted to defend themselves or get even. Now, initially I looked at that and thought, wait, isn't the urge to get even an emotional issue?

SPEAKER_00 10:39

It feels like one.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

Right. Isn't choosing curiosity over defensiveness just emotional intelligence? But they are distinct, aren't they?

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Yes, very distinct.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

Like emotional intelligence is the sensor, but executive function is the machinery.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

That is the absolute perfect way to distinguish them. Emotional intelligence allows you to sense the fire.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

You feel your heart rate spike when a coworker criticizes you.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Right. You recognize the feeling of anger and the immediate impulse to strike back and protect your ego. But knowing you are angry doesn't stop you from throwing a verbal punch.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

Ah.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Executive function is the fire extinguisher. It's the inhibitory control mechanism that steps in and says, if I snap back right now, I might win this argument, but I will damage a professional relationship that I need for the next five years.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Wow. So it suppresses the short-term reaction to serve the long-term objective.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Precisely.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

That blows my mind a little bit. If your operating system is crashing, your emotional regulation crashes right alongside it.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

They're completely linked.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

So it doesn't matter how emotionally intelligent you are, if the cognitive bandwidth isn't there to hit the brakes, you are still going to send that angry email at 11 p.m.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

You're still going to get defensive.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Right. Choosing curiosity, forcing yourself to say, help me understand your perspective instead of you're wrong, that requires massive cognitive horsepower. You're actively overriding your own biology.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

And that takes us directly from interpersonal friction to operational delivery. We move into the fourth pillar, managing your affairs.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Okay. So this encompasses your finances, the projects you're leading, and crucially the roles where other people are directly counting on your reliability.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

Right. It's about setting clear, actionable goals and having the follow-through to execute them.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

Because we have all worked with someone who is incredibly polite, their desk is spotless, but they consistently drop the ball on actual project deliverables.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Oh, absolutely. They miss deadlines, blow past budgets.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Yeah. Managing affairs requires resisting the allure of the quick fix. You have to balance short-term actions with long-term objectives. And the linchpin here is adopting an ownership mindset versus a victim mindset, particularly when a mistake is made.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

The victim mindset is an incredibly common defense mechanism when things go wrong.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Yeah. How does that usually play out?

SPEAKER_00 12:57

If a project fails, the victim mentality points outward. The market shifted. My team didn't give me the data in time, or you know, the client was unreasonable.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

I see this so clearly through the lens of software development. Imagine a developer writes a piece of code, a user tries to run it, and the program completely crashes.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Okay, classic scenario.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Right. A developer with a victim mindset says, the user is an idiot, they clicked the wrong button, they don't know how to use my beautiful software.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

Blaming the user.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

Exactly. But a developer with an ownership mindset looks at the crash and says, My code didn't account for that user behavior. Let me find the bug in my own programming and fix it.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

That analogy perfectly illustrates why the victim mindset breaks your executive function.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

How so?

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Well, executive function relies on a continuous feedback loop to learn and adapt. If you blame the user or the market or your team, you are short-circuiting that feedback loop.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

You're telling your brain there's no problem.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Exactly. You tell your brain I did everything perfectly, so there is no need to change my behavior. Because you protect your ego in the short term, the operating system never receives the update it needs. Oh, that makes so much sense. The ownership mindset requires the executive capacity to tolerate the immense discomfort of admitting fault today, specifically so you can update your mental code and be more reliable tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Taking the hit to your pride to update the code. I love that. But here is the stark reality of this entire framework.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Okay, lay it on me.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

You can try to organize your space, time block your calendar, practice curiosity in your relationships, and own your project failures. But all four of those outer pillars will inevitably collapse if the core foundation they rest on is crumbling.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

Right. We have to move entirely inward for the final pillar.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

Yes, the engine driving the whole machine, managing self.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

Managing self is the hardware that your operating system runs on.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

So we are talking about physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health here.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

Exactly. Do you have a committed, non-negotiable plan for physical fitness, restorative sleep, and proper nutrition? Do you have a deliberate strategy for processing hard emotions and cultivating a growth mindset?

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Now, a lot of us hear sleep, nutrition, and processing emotions, and we immediately file that away in the mengle folder labeled self-care.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Right, like it's a treat.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

Yeah, culturally, self-care is often marketed to us as a luxury. It's a bubble bath or a spa day that you get to as a reward when all the real work is done.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

But through the lens of executive function, managing yourself is not a luxury.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

It's the classic airplane safety rule. You must put on your own oxygen mask first. If you don't have a structure to process hard emotions or get enough sleep, you simply can't show up reliably for your affairs or your relationships.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

The physiology behind that is undeniable. The prefrontal cortex, which houses all these executive function skills, is an absolute energy hog.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

It burns a lot of fuel.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

Huge amounts of glucose and rest. When you are sleep deprived or chronically stressed, your body enters a survival state. It stops routing energy to the logical planning centers of the brain.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

And sends it where?

SPEAKER_00 16:05

To the amygdala, the primitive reactive center of the brain. You lose your cognitive flexibility, you lose your inhibitory control.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

So you literally don't have the biological fuel to run the operating system. You can't put out the fires if the fire extinguisher is empty.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Exactly. And this brings us to the ultimate consequence of this entire framework.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

The so what of it all.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Right. If you ignore these maintenance checks, if you fail to develop competence in managing your space, time, relationships, affairs, and self, what is the result?

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Things fall apart.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

The result is that you become profoundly reactive. You lose your footing. You become deeply insecure about your own values because you don't have the mental clarity to define them.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

You become passive.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

You become a tameleon.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Without a robust internal structure to hold you steady, you simply mold to the shape of whatever external pressures are applied to you. You end up simply reflecting what other people want you to be, rather than being the best version of yourself. You do the tasks that are urgent to others, you adopt the opinions of the loudest person in the room. You lose any sense of being the intentional author of your own life.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

Becoming a reflection of everyone else's demands instead of your own values, that is a chilling thought.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

It really is.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

But it's also incredibly motivating. We don't want to just talk about the theory here, right? We want you to be able to apply this immediately.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

So how do we take this framework and actually use it to stop being chameleons?

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Well, the most actionable step you can take today is to perform a brutally honest self-assessment. Take these five areas: space, time, relationships, affairs, and self. Rate your current level of management in each one on a scale from one to five.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Okay, so a one to five scale.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Right. Where are you operating at a solid four or five? Maybe your physical environment is completely dialed in, but your calendar is a disaster. Where are you limping along at a two?

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Okay, and once you identify those weak pillars, the goal isn't to fix them all by tomorrow morning, is it?

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Definitely not. It's about building external scaffolding to support them while you do the internal work. If your affairs pillar is a two because you constantly drop the ball on projects, find a coach. Right. If your self pillar is suffering, talk to a trusted friend who can hold you accountable to a sleep schedule. Take a course, set daily reminders on your phone, offload the work until the habit is built.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

And the most encouraging takeaway from Matt Norman's work is that whether you're an 18-year-old high school grad or someone going through a midlife change, it is never too late to improve your executive function.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Exactly. The reality of neuroplasticity means the brain remains adaptable. It can rewire itself throughout our entire lifespan. You are not stuck.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

You can always update the systems.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

It is absolutely never too late to optimize your systems, write better code, and strengthen your executive function.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

I love that message. The hardware can always be upgraded.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Well, as we wrap up this deep dive, I want to leave you with a lingering thought to carry with you. We just discussed how, you know, poor executive function strips away our intentionality.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Right, leaving us to passively reflect whatever the world demands of us.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Aaron Powell Exactly. So I want you to ask yourself how much of what you confidently consider to be your personality today is actually just the byproduct of unmanaged systems?

SPEAKER_00 19:20

Aaron Powell That is a profound question.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

If you label yourself as like just a messy person or a chronic procrastinator or someone who runs hot and snaps during arguments, is that truly who you are at your core? Right. Or is that simply your operating system crashing because it hasn't been updated in years? If you woke up tomorrow and genuinely fixed your space, took command of your time, and owned your affairs, who would you truly become?

SPEAKER_00 19:46

It really makes you think. It implies that underneath the daily clutter and underneath the impulsive reactions and the burnout, there is a much clearer, more capable version of yourself.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Just waiting for the right conditions to emerge. Yes. The potential is already in there. You just need to clear the cache, close out the background apps that are draining your battery, and start the update. You might be shocked at how smoothly you can actually run.