YOU WOOD THINK?
Bobby D and Mikey D are 2 Canadians who have been friends for longer than most people are alive and they have teamed up to give their perspective on the world through their lens. We are both licensed professionals in our fields of study and are willing to discuss the hot topics.
YOU WOOD THINK?
Fast Lanes and Slow Brains?
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
A joke about kitchen shaving turns into a surprisingly sharp look at how we move through the world—fast, loud, and often not paying attention. We trade stories from the highway about left-lane campers, ego-speeding, and the moment you back off when the car ahead starts drifting like a metronome. It’s funny because it’s true, and it’s sobering because we all do the calculus: is that driver on the phone, exhausted, or just determined to be first?
We shift gears to honor Jane Goodall with admiration that’s equal parts heartfelt and plainspoken. Her work with primates didn’t just expand science; it reshaped how we view intelligence, empathy, and evolution. From tool use to conservation, she created a bridge between curiosity and care. That thread—competence and attention—winds through DIY fails that make you wince, riddles that expose how easily the brain fills gaps, and viral moments where language skills turn a room from skeptical to stunned. Mastery, it turns out, is just disciplined attention with a long memory.
Sports gives us fresh stakes for the same themes. We dive into the Blue Jays–Yankees energy, the case for MLB’s automated balls and strikes, and how challenge rules and pitch clocks are redesigning the fan experience. Then we pull on NBA threads: Zion’s scoring pace and the internet’s slippery “fastest vs youngest” claims, plus the new push to remove stat penalties for half-court heaves so players actually take them. Along the way we talk long-bomb artistry from Steven Adams and Kevin Love, why brand fit in ads can feel absurd, and how a viral foul-ball video becomes a lesson in public behavior and consequences.
If you like sharp humor, real-world stories, and a no-BS look at how rules shape behavior—on roads, courts, and timelines—you’re in the right place. Tap follow, share with a friend who argues about left-lane etiquette, and leave a quick review telling us which sports rule you’d rewrite first.
You Wood Think? Bobby and Mikey D
You gotta stop shaving in the kitchen. He says, I got pubes again in my cereal. Uh, a woman um wants bigger breasts, so she goes in to a doctor and I says, She says, I don't want to, you know, do the augmentation, I don't want to be cut open and stuff. And she goes, What else can I take? He goes, These pills should do you just fine. Okay, she's like, Okay, so he says, two a day, 12 hours apart, you know. She says, Come back and see me in six weeks. Comes back in six weeks, and she's like, Okay, listen, we got a little bit of problems here. She goes, first of all, my boobs did grow a little bit, and she goes, however, there's hair on my breast. And the doctor goes, Well, how far down does that hair go? She goes, All the way down to my balls, which is something else I want to talk to you about. Hey everybody, welcome back to You Would Think with Mikey D. And Uncle Frank. We're all over the place. Yeah, let's go. We love our Uncle Frank. He's a great dude. So, driving. I've had enough. So today again, it's so weird. So today I paid attention. So driving in. So I'm in the what's the what's the normal lane called? We know what the passing lane's called. The other lane is just the other lane, I guess. I guess. I never thought about that until just now. What's it called?
SPEAKER_00:Anyway, regular flow.
SPEAKER_02:There's no regular flow unless somebody's having their time of the month on this one. Now, here's the thing. I'm I'm on the highway. I gauge my speed. No, no, no air control, no cruise control. I actually don't know how to use it on this truck, but it's fine. Yeah, not on. I was going anywhere from 86 to 123. All in the normal driving lane. I'm passing people. We, there's many of us, passing people that are in the passing lane.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And they're looking at us.
SPEAKER_00:Because they haven't gone over.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, they haven't gone over. And then I'm watching the guy in front of me in a BMW, or sorry, that was before. This guy's in a pretty high-level Mercedes. Okay. Like, and it's kind of darked out. It looks like it's lowered a bit. Which is crazy by itself because dude, he went by me like I was standing still. We were doing about 120.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Like, and this thing just I watched this thing, I was like, what is that? I see on the rear room and it's like I'm like, yeah, dude, you're losing your license forever. Oh man. Forever.
SPEAKER_00:So the other morning, uh it was whatever, whatever day that was when uh we had the the holiday here.
SPEAKER_02:Tuesday. Which is why I'm wearing this, by the way, for the reconciliation.
SPEAKER_00:Yep. Wore mine on the Tuesday. Yeah, they are there. Yeah. Anyway. Um little small. Uh so I'm going, I'm I'm on the road, I'm going, it's an 80.
SPEAKER_02:Just going to work?
SPEAKER_00:Uh just bringing my car into the garage. And so anyway, I'm I'm going, you know, the speed limit's 80. I'm going 90. I see somebody coming up, and I'm like behind you. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, okay, he goes flying by. And then there's somebody else coming up. He's going flying by. And I'm I'm, you know, I'm I'm sitting there going, okay, I'm going 10 over. These guys must be fine.
SPEAKER_02:Which is which is okay.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Which, you know, I know I'm still.
SPEAKER_02:Well, yeah, but everybody goes 10 over. That's the problem.
SPEAKER_00:So anyway, so I'm gonna get I could get myself in trouble here. But so like there's no cars on the road. It's very quiet that morning. So I was like, I wonder if these guys, like, do these guys just are they just going this speed or do they just want to go faster than me, right? And so I kind of go. Oh no, okay. So now we're now I just kind of like speed up in the middle of the C. And so I think at one point I was up to about 110 and the guy that was coming up, like, just kept speeding up. Like he just had to pass me. It wasn't that he had a set speed that he wanted to go. He just had to pass me. Me first, me first. So anyway, I got I gotta I had to slow it down. I was like, okay, I don't feel comfortable like going this speed at all. So I slowed back down again. Of course, it went blown by me. But I just wanted to see is it is it more so because they've just got their set speed that they want to go, and that's what it is, or is it that they just on cruise? No, no, he wasn't, right? He just kept screaming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. He's obviously all it was was that he just had to go faster than than me. Right? And and you know, it's I mean, I see it here on the roads as well. Like you'll you'll see cars that come around, like I've told you before. It's stop signs all the way up our road, it's the speed limit's 70, and people come out you know on two wheels, doing like 40-50 through the stop sign, treating it like it's a yield because they can't they see a little break in the traffic, like I gotta get out now. So it's you know, hey, there's three cars coming. I don't want to wait, I don't want to get behind those three cars, so I'm gonna get out in front. Then they get out in front and they go 60 in the 70s. Yep. And I say I just don't understand it. But that's you know, it's you can't, I guess you just can't change the mentality, right?
SPEAKER_02:So I don't even know what the mentality is, I think it's just stupidity. There's a there's a person driving, I don't know who I couldn't see. Man, woman, animal, that doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. And they're bro, it's like this. This is the highway, they're on the highway. Yeah, I've seen those. This person is weaving like over across that line, and then oh, almost in the middle, then back, and it's like, I'm looking in the car, it's like two people, I think.
SPEAKER_00:I'm like, well, I won't, I won't out the uh the driver training car that I saw the other day doing that. And I was like, oh shit, like this person's you know, somebody's in there learning how to drive. Obviously, like they're no, it was just whatever. No, it was the actual instructor, it was just the person in the car. They were on their going around like a coming around uh an on-ramp onto the onto the highway, and they were like almost they almost went off the ramp about four times, and we get onto the highway, and I go, like I finally I go by them, they're on their phone, like not just they have their phone in front of them, and I'm like, You're a driving instructor, what are you doing? Right? I'm anyway.
SPEAKER_02:That's what I that's why I'm saying it's gotta be like if you're doing that, you gotta be doing something that you're right. Because I mean it's not that hard to come on. No, you know, everybody might cross a line once, but this guy, I'm like, I'm easy back thinking, hmm.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I just see people, and I always like I sit back and I go, I'm gonna lay off this guy a little bit. I don't know if he's I don't know if they're just on their phone or if they've had a few drinks.
SPEAKER_02:I know, man. But I'm thinking, yeah, you know, this time of the morning, I'm hoping they're on their phone, but I'm also hoping they're not on their phone.
SPEAKER_00:So as my wife says, she goes, Oh, their meds are their meds haven't kicked in yet. Or they kicked in now, one of the two.
SPEAKER_02:Good for her.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Good for her. Yeah, so uh speaking of meds, Jane Goodall, meds didn't do her. She passed at 91. But uh, if you don't know who Jane Goodall is, did a lot of really good stuff with apes and conservation of the mountain gorillas and all that good stuff.
SPEAKER_00:There's that famous picture, I think, that started it all, right? Uh well maybe not started at all, but like brought the attention to it. I think like her husband took it like obviously quite young. She was reaching out, and the little baby chimpanzees reaching out to her.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah. Pretty impressive. Yeah. I saw many videos of them like letting chimpanzees go in the wild, and the cat doesn't really want to go and let's just hang out with it.
SPEAKER_00:But yeah, I think they like she spent so much time with them. One of the other things, I think it you know altered people's thinking on you know, like uh humans, evolution, pri racial relationship to primates. Like the primates were actually sitting there using tools to dig for like that, right? And so they were showing that you know they're anyway. Yeah, it was uh big loss, but anyway, 91. Like she lived in the lived a great life and did a lot of good things, so good on her, but she'll be I don't know enough about that world, the primatologist is it world to know like who's coming up behind her and who's gonna keep her work going, but I'm sure she's in the world. Um, multiple generations of people.
SPEAKER_02:All the master's students that want to you know step in her footprints and uh follow the steps that she took. She's a great lady.
SPEAKER_00:91 man, that's uh yeah, man.
SPEAKER_02:If you can live to 91, you're doing well. You're doing well. Uh I I just saw, speaking of uh monkeys using tools, uh I saw a video come into my feed uh a couple days ago about like uh DIY and stuff. It's got a person, doesn't matter who, it's got a person holding a drill drill. Oh yeah, drill hammer. I'm thinking, wow, and you know, the other person's video and you know, in the house, and he's like, How are things going? Person answered, good. He's like, You sure? Oh yeah, yeah, good, good. Yeah, so some people just don't know how to use tools.
SPEAKER_00:Some of those videos are funny, man. You see, they're they're scary, but they're funny, right? Like, you know, as long as they don't get injured, obviously.
SPEAKER_02:But well, that's the thing. I mean, you know, okay. Uh so oh uh here's a good joke. I saw this too, and I was just I couldn't even help. I snorted to laugh so hard. So this guy's talking to his wife, and he goes, Okay, he says, I got a riddle for you. She's like, all right. He goes, So I'm in second place in the race, and you pass me. What place are you in now? She's like, first. He's like, okay, once again, I'm in second place and you pass me. What place are you in? She goes, Steve, I told you I'm in first. He goes, once again. I will say it one more time for everybody watching. Says it again, and she's like, Why are you so stupid? I don't understand. What? And then he goes, She's like, Oh, right. The camera just goes off. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Some people just don't think. That's why it's it's so easy just to, you know, I'm in first. What you're not though, because he was already in second. It doesn't work that way. That's right. Yeah. Right. So yeah, but anyway, I thought that was hilarious. Same feed almost coming in, but yeah. Same showing how uh if your day's going bad, look at this stupid shit. Yeah, one of those. Yeah, and I'm like, yeah, I feel better already.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, what's that old riddle? I can't remember the riddle now. It was in that diehard movie where it's like I passed a man going to so and so who had this many wives, this many da da da da da. And they said, How many people did I pass? And everybody starts doing all the math, trying to add up all the people, but he passed the man. So he only passed the one person. One person, right? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So it's it's like that other riddle where they, you know, you say it like this somebody goes, okay, you're driving a bus. Okay. So you say, six get on, four get off, three get on, seven get off. What's the name of the bus driver? I don't know. Yeah, you do though, because I said you're driving the bus.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:What? Uh huh. Like it's your brain, you know, just it's it's confusing. You get caught up in the Yeah, you know, they used to say, you know, eyewitness is good. Mm-mm. Then you find out the brain just kind of fills shit in. Right.
SPEAKER_00:Oh God, you see those ones where it's uh you'll read a sentence and it'll say, go back and read that again, and you'll see that there's like four words out of place in there, but your brain just oh, it's like that one says, if you can read this, thank a teacher.
SPEAKER_02:None of the words are spelled correctly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can read the whole thing by the end. It's like, wow. Okay, pretty crazy. Yeah. Oh, you know what? I also saw recently, I don't know who this dude is, but he is awesome. Speaks like four or five languages.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, just the one where you'll go to like China or whatever.
SPEAKER_02:Well, it doesn't even go. He's on he's on like an app.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02:It's some app, and I think it's like for practicing your English skills or something. So it's a lot of different Chinese people came on, and they're just going, he goes, hi, hi, and he's just talking back and forth. And he goes, Oh, your English is good. And she's like, Yeah, I'm trying, I'm studying for the IELTS test. And then you know, he'll she goes, What do you speak? He goes, Nah, it's so hard. And he goes, What the one? Yeah, and she's oh yeah, perfect. And then and then it shows another guy at a restaurant.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I've seen those. It's the waiter. Oh, no, okay. It's a guy, I've seen the ones where the guy goes in and he's like, you know, a white guy that's in the oh, those two, those are hilarious. He's in Japan and he's speaking, you know, but he speaks perfect Japanese, or he's somewhere in Japan speaking Mandarin or whatever.
SPEAKER_02:But the whole restaurant's looking over gold.
SPEAKER_00:And everybody in the restaurant looks over and so impressed.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, like which is so weird because you don't nobody when you start speaking these people, oh wow. Yeah, nobody gives a shit. Yeah, but like all these ones, like he was in South Korea and he was speaking something, and then the auntie's like, how you speak so good.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:He goes, Oh, I studied for oh, you it's perfect. It's perfect, yeah. Like, I'm thinking, because that's not easy, man. I lived over there. It is not easy.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, I bet it's not, right?
SPEAKER_02:It is not. The kids tried to teach me stuff. I'm like, forget it, I'm retarded.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I can't do it. I said that my my language learning's long gone. Yeah, yeah. You know, but yeah, very impressive. This one guy, he's just a white dude. And the one, this one girl girl comes on. I'll give you this one. She comes on, she goes, I know you. And he goes, No, you don't. She goes, Yeah, I do. And she's like, Nah, I knew we do. He goes, Ah, you got me starting talking in in uh Mandarin, and she's like, Oh, you're so good.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it was pretty funny. And then there was another one in Russia. He did Russian too.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, shit.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, the guy's brilliant, man. It's just how do you learn that? And he's like 23. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Some people have a knack for it. Yeah, yeah. If that's your thing, right?
SPEAKER_02:That's your thing. Yeah. So uh speaking of knacks, Blue Jays got a finally 10 years since they won uh the division, which is the hardest division in baseball, by the way. Don't forget about that. Yankees, right? So now my poor dad who's passed away and not with us anymore. God rest him, rest in peace. He would uh wouldn't know what to do with this series because he's a Yankees fan. Oh, right. But you know, he's also a Blue Jays fan. Oh, yeah. Right? Because you know, Blue Jays' home team, and you know, whoever comes out of it, I guess you kind of you know, um there would have been some conversations around the dinner table.
SPEAKER_00:Sure.
SPEAKER_02:You know, but yeah, they smoked them first game.
SPEAKER_00:I saw 10-1.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, 10-1. It's like, ooh, okay. They uh Yankees aren't gonna take that land down.
SPEAKER_00:I was I was paying attention because they had like a five-game league going into the last, like, what, six. Oh, dude, and they barely made it. Yeah. They they barely made it.
SPEAKER_02:Well, they were complaining, they said all the blue gears are getting bad calls, the umpires and this and that. Did you hear what's coming in next year? Automated ball and strike counter.
SPEAKER_03:Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, because they're like, that's not a strike because sometimes the umpires have a little god complex. And if you argue with the umpire, and then uh sorry, umpire, what did I say? Umpire. Well, if you also argue with the umpire, their fatal choke you that's right. Yeah, if you argue with the umpire, they might get pissed off and then they call a strike that's like that far outside. Yeah, and they go, come on, man, the um prince won. Yeah, right now cannot do that, right? So now that it's an automatic balls of strikes.
SPEAKER_00:I don't know if I like and then here's the thing.
SPEAKER_02:Now, okay, I say, no, I wasn't a strike. Go look at the monitor. Yeah, and if you look at the monitor and I win, I get to keep it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Right? So I'm like, okay.
SPEAKER_00:So well, it's like that in the NBA now, right? With the challenge rule, you can challenge, and if you're successful, you don't lose your time out if you're upset. As you shouldn't. If you're unsuccessful, you lose your channel.
SPEAKER_02:You lose your timeout, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And you lose your challenge, I guess, right? Right.
SPEAKER_02:So that's where baseball is going now. They have to do that.
SPEAKER_00:But again, I like, you know, okay, you're gonna you're gonna create this challenge rule, but limit it because you don't want like God, you know. Imagine if they didn't have a limit on that, like you'd be challenging.
SPEAKER_02:Well, everything else in baseball is sped up now. They have a counter on the pitcher and how long it takes because everybody the game was six and a half hours, nobody's watching. Well, okay.
SPEAKER_00:Do you remember? Was it Giannis and NBA? They'd count like how long it would take them together.
SPEAKER_02:I watched the guy with the thingy head that had like made it, yeah. Like he three, four.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Giannis. Ten seconds, Giannis, not a half hour.
SPEAKER_00:That's it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:All right.
SPEAKER_00:And I agree with that. Like, come on, man. Like, you're already, you know, the especially in a game that's officiated, it's a rough game that's officiated like that, and you're on the line, and you're adding you do not need 10 seconds.
SPEAKER_02:You just don't. No. Steph's crazy.
SPEAKER_00:Change your free throw routine if you do it.
SPEAKER_02:Whatever you're doing, right?
SPEAKER_00:You know, get hypnotized, figured out. No, I agree with that. I think he you know, and he gets his back up against the wall about it, but no, man, come on.
SPEAKER_02:No, come on, man. You're the only one who does it. Literally, the only one. Yeah, yeah. Right?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I'm sure there's others that take a little bit long, but he's he's oh, he's way better.
SPEAKER_02:Like I counted once it was like 18. Yeah, yeah. You know, and the referee, but everybody's looking at the referee and he's like, What? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Remember the lady, that crazy bitch that stole the ball from the kid in one of the she's suing.
SPEAKER_00:Is she?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, she's suing the the corporation, uh, the baseball league, saying they made her look stupid. She lost her job. You know, oh yeah.
SPEAKER_00:She did you did it, lady.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I'm like, okay, but she might have a lawsuit that is the US. Yeah, she's not. She's not gonna have a law. She lost her job. She did it. You deserve what came to you. That's right.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, she did what she did. Uh I don't think that I don't think the league or anybody came out and like they're not the ones that came out and said anything bad about her. Social media blasted her. Yeah, social media had it.
SPEAKER_02:And you're allowed to do that public. You can't do anything about it. Yeah, that's the way it is.
SPEAKER_00:You're in a public space like that. Like, people. Well, here's the thing, people.
SPEAKER_02:If you don't know the laws, let me help you with the laws. Very simple. If you don't want people to video you, don't go outside because everything that's in the public is free game. You cannot do anything about it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, we don't want to scare people from going outside either, though.
SPEAKER_02:No, but I'm just telling you, like, that's the world we live in now. Like you can be videoed at any point in time, and you don't have to give your uh uh uh authentication for it. Yeah, I I don't think she has a case here.
SPEAKER_00:I think she don't made her look stupid, but you did it.
SPEAKER_02:I she lost her job, which is kind of funny. That just tells you how much of a you know people think you are like well, then that's the thing.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, that is the that's the what the well you we've talked about this before. That is the culture that we are in now. Yeah, you know, like but she wasn't you're your your employer, you know, that this is your personal life. That should have nothing to do, right? But right, you are still a representative of the company, right?
SPEAKER_02:And so if you were you are well, let's be honest, it looks terrible for her, right? It looks terrible. Who knows what kind of role she's in, right?
SPEAKER_00:Like, but with the company, and I but I think I HR. I get I mean I saw the video, I passed judgment like everybody else did, and thought, you know, what an idiot that woman was.
SPEAKER_02:So I made sure I watched the real one, the whole thing from front to back to make sure they didn't cut it because oh boy, there's a lot of shifty shit.
SPEAKER_00:But now it's kind of crazy because like you know, what's what is more the common uh approach here is that you would give that ball to the kid next to you or whatever. Anyway, I can't there was another baseball game where somebody caught it and handed the ball over to a kid or whatever, and that was on the video, and they're like, Oh, that's what you're supposed to do. So the league now or the team then found out who this guy was and gave him a sign bad and a signed ball and all this kind of stuff. And it's like, well, that people have been doing that for years. Oh, forever. Forever. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I watched a young fella, yeah, anyway. Like young, like under 12.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:You know, home run ball, catches the ball, not even for a split second, stopped and thought about it. Walked right over and gave it to a little girl. And the mother of the little girl's like, like, what a nice. And then, you know, the dad turns around, he's like, you know, the mother was there with the kid. She's like, and the kid just goes, back down.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:That was it. Like, just you know, the little girl, her eyes were so big, she's probably like four. Sure. Like, look at that. He knew what to do at 12. Yeah, yeah. You know, and that lady was in her 50s, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But like I said, how many, how many cops she but that lady again, like after the fact, I mean, she's sitting there, the video. All with her finger, giving the finger to everybody in the crowd. Like, the city.
SPEAKER_02:Well, tells you what kind of person she is.
SPEAKER_00:Again, like so. I don't again, sue all you want, lady.
SPEAKER_02:She's one of those ones where you know she hits your car and go, you're in my way.
SPEAKER_00:So I don't know how she could sue. I'm still confused about how she can sue. She would have to sue her own company for uh well.
SPEAKER_02:She said she's she's suing the baseball and the the social media for having them lose her gun.
SPEAKER_00:Social media, like that's what it says. I read that. Yeah, yeah. How you sue I don't know anyway.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I breezed over because I'm like, I'm not giving you the time of day, bitch. Yeah, okay. Because you're a horrible person and there's no way you're gonna win that lawsuit.
SPEAKER_00:You know, I could the only thing you could think is you could try and challenge her her employer letting her go for like wrongful termination or something like that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, that's probably something there. Yeah, there's probably something there.
SPEAKER_00:But again, if the company says, like, hey, we have a we have a set of standards that we uh uh you know, all employees when they sign their contract agree to adhere to, and you do represent even on your own personal time. You if they can tie you back to that company, you are still a representative of that company, right? It's kind of you know.
SPEAKER_02:That's how she doesn't work with kids. Yeah, that's the big thing, right? Yeah. Okay. Speaking of kids, do you know who Grady Dick is?
SPEAKER_00:Uh well, I know he's some young fellow that plays for the Raptors. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you.
SPEAKER_00:All right, you said the key uses his last name. There was one uh oh, what was it? It was like two players that had like kind of funny names when you put it shifty names. Yeah, well, it was like, you know, one guy was something hard and the other guy was big. Like they swapped jerseys or something like that, you know what I mean. So, anyway, yes, I know who Grady Dick is, only for that.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know what kind of player he is, but if you don't know who Grady Dick is, he's right here, okay? Look how young he looks. He's young. Tech guy will take care of it. Okay, so he's young fella. I just saw a commercial okay for Gillette Razors. The man doesn't even have stubble, okay? He's the youngest guy in the NBA. He looks like he's 12. Sure. He's the guy doing the job. I went what? Like, how can you pick him out of any get James Harden. Yeah, get one of the boys, get uh get get uh uh uh Adams, what's his name? Uh Steven Adams, you know? Yeah, one of these guys with a beard, yeah, yeah. Or actually stubble. Yeah. Great. Oh, it looked it does a whole spin on LinkedIn just you don't even need a blade.
SPEAKER_00:You know, and I thought you were gonna tell me it was like a play on his name again, something like that.
SPEAKER_02:No, no, Gillette.
SPEAKER_00:He's in a Gillette commercial. Dick shave with Gillette or something. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:I did see this though. I've been having some weird feeds in my shit lately because I'm just trying to see where it goes to see if it's it's guys testing my algorithm. Guys on an Well, they were telling us what to do. I gotta talk to the tech guy to do something. Anyway, so there's a guy on an escalator, and he's on a cell phone, there's like a girl's in front of him, and he's like, Listen, you gotta stop shaving in the kitchen. He says, I got pubes again in my cereal. And he's like, I don't care. I know the light's good, it doesn't matter. He goes, Listen, grandma, I'll get you a light. And the girls are like, Yeah, yeah. Right, to see if he's listening, but I burst out laughing at this point because that that's pretty damn funny. That's pretty damn funny. Listen, grandma, I'll get you better listening, Grandma. Anyway, yeah, I was killed. Like the girls were just, what the hell's going on? Yeah, anyway.
SPEAKER_00:I always tell this story. It is not the same, but it's uh you just made it reminded me of the joke my grandmother used to say. Oh, your grandmother growing up, like you know, she was always like, Eat your Brussels sprouts, Mike, eat your Brussels sprouts and puts hair on your chest. I'm like, Oh, what does it do to you, Nanny? She goes, What? You know, she'd always do that, like, not show her tits, she would just show her chest. Um, and anyway, she'd so I remember, you know, at her 95th birthday, we're up there. I was like, Hey Nanny, what was what what was the reason to eat those? Uh eat eat your Brussels sprouts again. She goes, because it puts hair on your chest, Mike. She said this now. Oh, yeah. It was her, she would tell it every single time, and it would be laughter.
SPEAKER_02:Every time, what's the joke? I gotta get this right here. Hang on. Yeah, good old man, right? Uh okay. The joke goes like this so uh a woman um wants bigger breasts, so she goes in to a doctor and I says, she says, I don't want to, you know, do the augmentation, I don't want to be cut open and stuff. And she goes, What else can I take? He goes, These pills should do you just fine. Okay, she's like, Okay, so he says, two a day, 12 hours apart, you know, she says, Come back and see me in six weeks. Comes back in six weeks, and she's like, Okay, listen, we got a little bit of problems here. She goes, first of all, my boobs did grow a little bit, and she goes, however, there's hair on my breast. And the doctor goes, Well, how far down does that hair go? She goes, All the way down to my balls, which is something else I want to talk to you about. Good joke. Good joke. Yeah, pretty clean, pretty clean.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so that reminds me of that Russell Peters one.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, that's a great joke. That is a great. We can't say that on here. Can't say that one on here, but it was so good, so good. He just had another one, uh, something else, too. We can't say that one either. But anyway, um, so I was watching the games in uh UAE with uh the Pelicans there.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, right.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, so they're playing in Abu Dhabi. Yeah. That is uh bloody hot. But anyway, once again, I said last week, Zion's got a new head and a new body. He is pretty thin and he looks pretty good. And uh, we were just talking off camera and we said that he's the third fastest player ever to 5,000 points.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, which uh number one Luca.
SPEAKER_02:Luca number two, LeBron.
SPEAKER_00:But number three, and so I knew so I knew Luca and LeBron. That's why when you came in, you were saying you read some. Yeah, yeah, red Submodezion. Yeah, yeah. So I again that surprised the shit out of me because And we said the same because he barely played any games. Yeah, now so that still might have been just last year. That he did he hit, you know, the you know, because he's only took twenty-three or something, right? Yeah, but he's been in the league. What isn't he going in? Since he's 12 or whatever. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, whatever. But anyway, point being is that he may he may have only played, but he's still it's okay. I'm not taking away it's fast.
SPEAKER_02:One whole season he didn't even play.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, that's what I mean, right? Like, so it's it's amazing. But here's the other thing.
SPEAKER_02:You're not scoring 40 points every game either.
SPEAKER_00:So there's fastest, and there's also probably youngest. I'd like to see if that if that was also Luca.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, that's probably what I saw. Wasn't just the it was the fastest or the youngest. They're different.
SPEAKER_00:Well, they would be, right? Like, right.
SPEAKER_02:So maybe I think remember I told you, I said, I'm sure I saw Zion first.
SPEAKER_00:There's no way he'd be the youngest, though, because he probably just got it last year.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it makes no sense either. I'd have to go look at it.
SPEAKER_00:I think you just I think you just like what we were talking about earlier. You just never know what to trust on the internet, yeah, yeah. But uh, yeah, yeah. We'll talk about that next episode. Yeah, the internet, yeah, yeah, the internet and what you can't trust. But yeah, no, it's uh but still impressive that like Zion, who never seems like he plays.
SPEAKER_02:You would never guess Zion. If you said, give me the um Trey, like Trey Young, okay, that's a good guess. Uh whoever.
SPEAKER_00:Well, so I would have definitely would have thought, you know, I know Kobe, no, because Kobe's first when he played.
SPEAKER_02:He didn't play that first year.
SPEAKER_00:He didn't play that at all when he was playing.
SPEAKER_02:No, he didn't play him.
SPEAKER_00:Um, and he still would have played games, but he would have only been in like five minutes or something.
SPEAKER_02:No, he didn't play at all.
SPEAKER_00:Right. So, like, definitely Luca, definitely LeBron. Like, I knew I knew Luca past LeBron.
SPEAKER_02:Which is impressive. Uh too bad, LeBron.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. KD came out of the gates scorching, so I think KD must be top five. What do we do? We see him? Was he? Yeah, I didn't know. I don't think we got past number three. We didn't get past number three, but you know.
SPEAKER_02:So anyway, so but I I saw the thing they asked LeBron, you know, you're gonna play it till your other son gets in the league. He's like, nope, gonna wait for the daughter.
unknown:Gonna wait for the daughter, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Nah, he's gonna retire soon. I I like I said, there's they didn't give him the uh the what it the extension or whatever, right? He just signed the one year contract, well he opted in the contract, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Right, so yeah. He opted in and um I saw I saw something about fucking skip bailes, go fuck yourself, Skip Baylors. I can't stand him. I saw somebody rich. He said something about like, oh the Lakers aren't happy that LeBron opted in. It's like whatever.
SPEAKER_02:Whatever. Really?
SPEAKER_00:Listen, at the end of the day, like I get the Lakers are the Lakers are probably the most marketable team, maybe, in the league.
SPEAKER_03:Everybody knows.
SPEAKER_00:At this stage in his career, when you look at jersey sales and things like that, he's still there. Like it's him and Steph still at the end of every year, right? So whatever, they're not happy about it. Like it, they're an organization that's about making it. I saw that he had he wanted to pay, he offered, he offered to buy number 30 for millions, and it's like as if Steph needs the money.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I know. And his brother's like, nah, I'm good.
SPEAKER_00:So that so I think their dad wore 30, right? Yeah, did he?
SPEAKER_02:I thought he did, isn't that the whole reason?
SPEAKER_00:That's what I thought. So I could be wrong, but I thought that was the reason. I'd have to go back and look and see if they both wore 30 as well.
SPEAKER_02:But that's also the only number of threes they've missed in their career.
SPEAKER_00:He is Seth actually shoots a higher percentage. Now I know volume-wise, Steph shoots a shitload more.
SPEAKER_02:Uh and Steve Kirst said, I've never said anything about any of his shots ever.
SPEAKER_00:No, he would have early on. You'd see times where early on when he'd be launching some of those crazy shots, and you'd see Steve be like, and it's not. That's not the percentage we're looking for. Then just go. But that goes back to what we were talking about. Uh maybe we didn't talk about this. The fucking rule change is coming in this year that like anything like a whatever heaves from half court or whatever won't count towards your three-point percentage anymore or your shooting percentage.
SPEAKER_02:I'm sorry, what? I did not know this.
SPEAKER_00:This is a new rule they put in because Okay, what? So there's players, it's like shown, you go back and you can watch the video clips. There's certain players out there that they don't want to fuck up with their their shooting percentage. Yeah, so they shoot it after the buzzer goes. Or they won't shoot it at all.
SPEAKER_02:I see a lot of after the buzzer, and that's probably why. That's right.
SPEAKER_00:They know that, oh, uh, you know, like I can fire this and if I make it, everybody it'll still make a video, but it'll be like, oh, it didn't count, but it doesn't also count. So they're changing. So any reason they change that now, and I think anything from like half-court and back uh won't count towards it, which I don't, I'm not a fan of. Like, stop being a pussy, shoot the shot, right?
SPEAKER_02:Like, who cares about if I half court or further, it doesn't count as towards your three-point percentage.
SPEAKER_00:So maybe it's not that, maybe it's just like heaves at like last second shots. Maybe that's what it is. I don't know what the exact rule is, but we have to look at it. See, yeah, there's a new rule out there that those shots now won't count towards your three-point percentage or even just your shooting percentage. So it it's going to entice more people to fire those. Of course it is shots, right?
SPEAKER_02:So underhand, overhand, whatever, right?
SPEAKER_00:Like look at Steve, you know. I think we've seen Steve Adams hit a couple of those crazy ones where he's just he's just the one hand, you know, toss like a football down to the other.
SPEAKER_02:Well, the one I can think of is the one he threw to ja in the corner. Threw it right in the corner. Oh, yeah. It's like what? Yeah, yeah. They threw it like it's like a baseball, too, right?
SPEAKER_00:Like he's great at that, too. Like, yes, you know, Kevin Love had probably some of the best. Oh, yeah, Kevin Love two handers.
SPEAKER_02:Two handers, like LeBron to AD all those years, right into the pocket on the stride.
SPEAKER_00:Like, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. LeBron would just toss stuff, go get it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but Kevin Love was like probably one of the best to do it. If you actually go back and look at how many of those videos there is of him just firing those long distance passes on a rebound. Love Kevin Love you know, catching either you know, LeBron or Kyrie or somebody like in stride, right?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, incredible. All right, everybody. That's it for today. Thanks for coming. So once again, you catch us on Buzz Sprout, Spotify, Apple, and uh my channel, Muscle and Fiction, uh with Coach Bobby. So it's uh Mikey D. Bobby D, and we're gonna do it. Uncle Frank. Uncle Frank. You're gonna attack. That's it. Drink him rum.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Thumbs up.
SPEAKER_00:Thumbs up.
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