Why Executives Lose Confidence in Leaders

In this episode of Executiveland, Elizabeth Freedman explains why even highly capable leaders can lose the confidence of senior executives, not because they lack talent, but because trust is built on whether senior leaders believe you can consistently deliver meaningful outcomes. 

Key takeaways from this episode:

• Why executive confidence is built on outcomes, not effort, activity, or being busy
• The hidden ways unclear communication creates doubt and erodes trust at senior levels
• How leaders unintentionally lose credibility when they are not fully bought into the outcome themselves, even if they publicly align
• Why understanding what you are truly being paid to deliver changes how executives experience your leadership

She also shares three practical questions leaders should ask themselves: what outcomes are you actually paid to produce, how do executives currently experience you, and are you fully bought in or privately broadcasting doubt? Strengthening trust starts here.

For more tools, insights, and strategies to lead with clarity and credibility, visit Elizabeth’s website, take the C-Suite Readiness Assessment, and subscribe to Executiveland on  Apple Podcasts and Spotify and so you never miss a new chapter of the unwritten playbook!

• Free C-Suite Readiness Assessment
• Website: https://esuiteleader.com/
• Forbes Column: https://www.forbes.com/sites/elizabethfreedman/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabethfreedman
• Twitter X: @‌esuiteleader

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hi, and welcome to Executive Land. I'm Elizabeth Friedman, and this is where top leaders go off script to share straight talk and the unwritten playbook about life in the C-suite. For more ideas, visit East SuiteLeader.com. Now let's dive into today's episode. Well, hi everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. I want you to think of this as a coaching conversation that you and I get to have. And if you and I were sitting across the table from each other, this is the kind of stuff I would say, because this is the kind of stuff I talk about with my clients all the time. Why has an executive lost confidence? Have they lost confidence in us, in this project, in our ability to lead something? You know, I wish I could say it doesn't happen. We all know, of course, this can happen. And for some of us, it can happen a lot, depending on what's going on inside our companies. And so I want to talk about that today. And I want to mention one more thing as we get started. Many of the leaders I work with, they want to become senior leaders themselves. I mean, they want to be members of, say, an executive leadership team. They want to be in the C-suite. And you know what I find is in order to make an impact at that executive level, you first must have to demonstrate you can make an impact with executives. That really is what it comes down to. Honestly, one of the clearest indicators to me of whether someone is likely to advance to an executive level and succeed there is this. What are their relationships with executives like right now? Out of everything we could talk about, that's the most important thing. I see the biggest difference maker, it is this. You know, right now, are you visible to your executive leadership? Do they make time for you? You know, are people answering your emails, responding to your requests? Are you getting the resources you need? Are people seeking out your judgment? I could go on. These are the signs that tell me you have earned the confidence and trust of your executive team. Because we all know it's not just about being great at your job. Of course, it is about that, but it's more. It's about a certain kind of confidence people have to have in you. That's really what we consider. And it's this do people have confidence in your ability to produce outcomes that matter? That's the kind of executive confidence we are discussing today. Because here's the thing: I think when we talk about earning trust at the C-suite, we tend to talk about things like our communication skills that are being polished, executive presence, um, charisma. And okay, those things do matter. But ultimately, confidence comes down to something much simpler. Do I trust that you can deliver? You know, we all understand this. Think about someone you're hiring to fix, you know, your roof at your house. You're not paying them to just have capability in the roof fixing business or to work really hard. You are paying them, of course, to produce an outcome. And we all understand this is how companies work, exact same way. And so at those very senior levels, executives are asking about their leadership. Can they deliver results? Can I trust them to make the right decisions? Can they make even unpopular decisions, handle the pressure, drive the action? I mean, these are not easy things, but that's what I mean when I say executive confidence. And so we are here to talk about why do we lose it? And maybe how do we keep it? And here's the important thing: your job is to earn that confidence. Now, when I say this to the leaders I work with, they get really irritated. Nobody likes that. They will say things to me like, Are you kidding me, Elizabeth? I'm in a job leading 10,000 people. I kind of think I've earned it, don't you? And of course, that's true. So I am not suggesting that you don't already have lots of trust and credibility. I and I certainly don't mean you should be in a position of feeling like, well, do I have to continue to prove myself all the time? Is it never enough? Really, none of that is the point. What I say is even a CEO has to earn the confidence of their market, of their investors, their employees, stakeholders, the board every day. That's the job. And it is an everyday thing. Successful leaders don't wake up and say, I'm good on this. I've earned all the trust. No, of course not, because the world is just way too dynamic. Businesses evolve, conditions involve, strategy changes. And so the question is never like, do I trust this leader? No, no, no. It's do I trust you to lead this business, these people through these challenges in this environment right now? It's so contextual. And so that's why someone could be exactly right for where an organization was a year ago, and now the business really needs something different. So the question is, can I trust you given that to drive more growth, be more innovative, whatever the case may be? And so we can't become defensive or discouraged about that. That's the job. So with that backdrop, let's talk about why this might be happening. Why would an executive lose confidence in a leader? Remember, this is like the kind of stuff I would say to my clients. And here's where I would start. I would say, what are they paying you for? I know that seems crazy, but the number one reason why I see executives losing trust, losing the confidence in their own people, is because people are not actually doing the job they were paid to do. It's one of the biggest gaps I see. And so you really have to know why are people paying you? Why are they paying you? What would you say is the answer to that? What would they say? And go back to the roof. Why are we paying someone to fix our roof? At senior levels, organizations are not just paying leaders to work hard and put in a lot of effort and go to a lot of meetings. They're paying for results, which could look different depending on who you are and you know what role you play in your company. But is it about sales and growth? Is it about execution? Is it about delivering a different kind of number? And this is where things can get interesting because I don't work with a single person who is not working very, very hard against a set of goals or objectives. But here's an example of what I mean. So I'm calling this example, where is my strategy? Where is my strategy? Because I worked with a leader who had been repeatedly asked by the CEO, by the board, to present a new strategy. This was not a mystery to anybody, but this leader kept delaying. And I'll be honest, I was putting a lot of pressure on them too. Said, you know, you got to produce something. Where's the strategy? Get something out there, even if it's imperfect. I mean, I could go on. And the leader was saying things like, we have no time for this. I have no resources for this. The company's been asking me to focus on these other priorities. Well, we need analysis. You know, I'm not just gonna throw some garbage strategy out there. And you know what? I get that. Like that is very legitimate. But you know, every day that that strategy was not forthcoming, doubt about this leader was growing, growing. And eventually there was a real perception that this leader, they've always got a reason. They are blaming circumstances. They cannot move this thing forward. They'd completely lost confidence in this leader. And eventually, guess what? They brought somebody else in to lead the work. And I want to say, you know, the thing that's such a bummer is this leader was not a bad leader, but they took their eye off the ball. And none of this is easy, but you know what? They stopped doing what they were paid for. And the confidence completely eroded in them. Let me give you another example of what I see. Why executives can lose confidence in their leaders. And earlier I said it's not about communication, but I'm gonna have to sort of give a little caveat here. When leaders communicate such that they create confusion, they raise questions, they don't give the full picture. That is one of the fastest ways to lose executive confidence. Now, once again, I don't think I'm telling you anything you don't know, and nobody does this intentionally, but there are example after example of how this might happen. Maybe we miss a forecast. Maybe we are surprising our senior executives with something that they did not see coming. Maybe we're overcomplicating issues. We're spending a lot of time talking about process, or as they say, how the sausage was made. And we're kind of missing the forest for the trees. And so, what are executives thinking? They're thinking, okay, well, I am not getting the full story here. You know, you keep telling me, team, everything's fine, yet you're not delivering. The product is getting shipped late. We continue to have issues at the site. Uh, you're not telling me everything. And of course, confidence erodes. Or maybe an executive or meet meeting with you, and they're thinking, like, what are we even talking about here? I don't understand what the purpose of this meeting is. What are you trying to accomplish? And so they may be thinking, yeah, I don't really understand what matters here. I'm less clear after I've had a conversation with you than before it. And we all know this is a dangerous place. I'll give you an example. I was working with a business president and they were overseeing a region that was high priority for them, high growth region, and yet it was really struggling to deliver on that growth promise. And so the leaders start spending more time in the region. Um, they start asking lots of questions to their key leaders. And he he started to realize nobody else has really been asking these kinds of questions. Questions that really dug into a different level of strategy, of accountability, operational questions. And this leader is walking away thinking, okay, what would have happened if I hadn't shown up here to dig in, to get to that level of clarity? So once again, that's a confidence issue. You know, executives need to feel like somebody's got their hands firmly on the wheel here. If I have to get on an airplane or meet with you to get to the truth, we have a problem. Now, this can happen unintentionally, but I think it does when leaders are telling themselves a story that is quite different from the story that others are experiencing. So again, our story might sound like the things we're trying, what we're working on, why this won't ever happen again. But what that executive audience might be hearing is a story about the results you're producing. And they're left with an experience which is I'm not clear, I'm not more confident, I feel less certain, versus I am clear, I feel steadier. Okay, I trust you guys have this handled, right? So that's the distinction. So again, how are we creating that level of clarity with our audiences versus not? The third reason, and this is a very different one, everyone, about why we lose the executive trust, why we lose their confidence in us. The reason is you haven't truly bought into the outcome yourself. And this one is really important because if you want other people to have a confidence in your ability to perform and your ability to deliver a result, you first have to pay attention to what you actually believe. You know, the first sale you always make is to yourself. And I have found that executives can usually tell very easily when a leader is not truly bought in. So you might say, I'm aligned and I support the strategy, we're moving forward. But an executive audience, they can feel hesitation, resistance, a real lack of commitment. And that's a big difference. Because you and I know when we ourselves are unconvinced, it is a struggle to get others on board. Maybe we can do it, but it's under duress. We will struggle, I think, to inspire the right level of confidence, momentum, mobilization that we need. I've even seen leaders kind of communicate out of both sides of their mouth where publicly we're very aligned and supporting the strategy, but behind closed doors, we are skeptical. Maybe we're questioning our own teams, we're questioning the strategy, and that kind of inconsistency, it really does get felt. Once again, I want to say the first sale you make is always to yourself. This does not mean you need to have blind optimism. And this doesn't mean you should never challenge a strategy. Of course, strong executives absolutely challenge. They certainly will push on risks or debate. But we all know once it's time to lead, people have to experience conviction from you. If you don't believe the organization can succeed or the strategy would work, that you know, execution is possible, it becomes very, very difficult for you to create confidence in anyone else. And executives pick up on that faster, I think, than a lot of us realize. So once again, it's this is not a capability issue. It's when, you know, you might be unintentionally communicating, I don't really think this is gonna work. We'll try, but I'm not sure. We're gonna give it our best, but we may not be able to get to that. I mean, that just creates a lot of doubt very quickly. So, whether it's about doing what you're getting paid to do, how we communicate a level of clarity and certainty so that leaders feel like we've got our hand on the wheel and understanding we ourselves have to be bought in. These are the reasons I see why, even though we may not realize it, we can really lose the confidence that executives have enough. And remember where I started. This is the number one reason that I see that can really hold people back from moving into an executive suite. Even if you are smart and producing results, if people don't have confidence in you in some of these areas, it's hard to advance. So, what do you do? I want to leave you with three things to think about. And the first is get crystal clear on what you are actually paid to do. Once again, it sounds obvious, but it's easy to get this one wrong. You and I know you're not just paid to put in a lot of effort, you know, to do work. It's really about producing meaningful outcomes. And meaningful outcomes that I always say meaningful to your company, they're meaningful to the business. So this is kind of what we have to ask ourselves. What are the outcomes ultimately that I am being asked to produce that would be meaningful to the company? That's where we see the confidence when people believe you can deliver on that, right? That's the goal. But we have to really be clear on what that is. So, what are you paid for? Let's make sure we can answer that in a very, very specific and accurate way. Number two, you've heard me say this before, but I just think there's no substitute for getting honest data on how executives currently experience you. I think we do tend to operate from assumptions. Go back to what I said earlier. I'm in a big job, therefore, I am trusted. I'm in a big job, therefore, I am viewed as being strategic. But that confidence is not a static thing, and it can shift quickly. You may have had trust. Do you still so get that feedback? Remember, we want to be experienced, whether it's being decisive, able to handle that pressure and scrutiny, able to really mobilize other people, be clear, be aligned. What are they experiencing with you? And so it's really hard to strengthen that confidence if we don't understand that experience others are having. Third thing I want you to think about is to really look at your own trust. If you might be unintentionally, I'll say broadcasting doubt, take a look at that one. This one is important. The first sale you make is to yourself. If you want others to have confidence in you and your ability to deliver results, they have to have conviction from you. If you want their confidence, they need your conviction. Again, conviction is not fake positivity or blind optimism, but it's a willingness to see how you can still lead even through the challenge that might be in front of you. Because I, again, I want to go back to the fact that leaders can see when people are privately resisting, when they're half committed, kind of talking out of both sides of their mouth, sending those less obvious signals, but nonetheless, signals that say, Oh, we'll try, but I don't really know. I don't think this will work. You may not get it on time. I'm not sure if we're going to be able to keep growth and so on. And so, you know, if we don't believe in that direction themselves, it's hard to mobilize others. So again, I just want to say to this one, it's not about pretending things are easy, but how do you create enough clarity, conviction, steadiness that really people feel confident in your own mindset, energy, attitude? You know, at senior levels, the job becomes, in some ways, really easy to describe and quite difficult to do sometimes. Earn the trust and confidence of your executive leadership and keep it. That's the job. Remember what I said. It's about do we trust that this leader can move the business forward now? Not a year ago, not when it was easier, now. And the leaders who really do advance, I think they're not the ones like trying to prove themselves, but they are the ones who are consistently trusted to do the things we've been discussing here. Not in a way that means they have to be perfect all the time, not in a way that says they never make mistakes, but they can be consistently trusted to focus on and deliver the outcomes that matter to the best of their ability. So this is where I want you to focus. Take that time and listen if this conversation resonates with you, keep following the podcast. Go back to some of the earlier episodes where we talk about things that might get in the way of earning confidence, like your executive brand, overgiving, negative energy. Check out those episodes and share this episode with someone you know who might also be interested in this idea. And for more on how I work with groups of leaders in programs, workshops, coaching, visit me at eSuiteLeader. Until next time, see you in Executive Land, everyone. Well, that's all for today in Executive Land. Thanks for listening. And if you're looking for more, check out my website, esweetleader.com, where you'll see all kinds of free resources and take the free executive readiness assessment. It shows you exactly where you're strong and where to focus next in your own leadership. And don't forget, subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode. I'll see you next time in Executive Land.