Episode 19 - Grappling Together: A Father and Daughter's Jiu-Jitsu Journey

Discover the inspiring story of a father and daughter who share a passion for Jiu-jitsu, using their training as a way to grow stronger individually and as a family. This episode captures their challenges, triumphs, and the lessons learned from the mats. Listen to how Jiu-jitsu becomes a language of love, trust, and empowerment that transcends the mat and enriches everyday lives

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:06

Welcome to the Career Jitsu Podcast, where we connect the art of jujitsu with your career. Our mission is to empower and inspire you with engaging conversations and valuable insights from people just like you who benefit from the shared relationship between your workplace and the art of jujitsu, leading you to a more fulfilling and successful life. Okay, welcome to the Career Jitsu Podcast. We are really excited today to have um two very special guests. This is a unique podcast that we're having today, Frank. It is going to be compelling because this is the first time that we've had an opportunity to have an episode with a father and daughter that do jujitsu together.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

What a cool dynamic that is. And we're going to learn all about it. And um, I've learned a lot from both of these people on the mats. So this is going to be like an honor for me to really continue to tap into their brains, but just from a different angle, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Absolutely. So let's get started. Uh Jose and Anna, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for having me. Thank you for inviting us to Yeah. So Anna, can we start with you? Can you talk a little bit about when you started jujitsu and you know how how long it's been and how you got started and why?

SPEAKER_00 1:26

It's been a long time. So I started when I was nine, so that's 18 years ago. Um I was actually forced into it. Um I didn't know what jujitsu was. Um obviously my dad is the one that forced me into it. Um he supposed to he forced me and my sister. Um my sister just did karate and I did jujitsu. So at first I wasn't a fan because I wasn't there from my own choice. So I really did understand what he was trying to do for me. I wasn't really getting it because I was just like, oh, I just have to go. Um, it wasn't until like maybe like later on once I learned the.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

Like how long? Like, so you were nine. Yeah. Was your whole first year a chore?

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Honestly, it probably felt that way.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Like I really didn't fall in love in jujitsu until like I was like, honestly, probably like 12.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Yeah. So it was a three-year journey to find the love of jiu-jitsu.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

Wow. So those three years, did you have any resentment? Like, oh my gosh, you make me go to school, you make me do my homework, and now you make me do jujitsu, you're running my life, or was it just like, nah, this is I guess what my dad wants and I'm gonna do it?

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Pretty much, this is what my dad wants, I'm gonna do it, and just whatever. And it's worked out at the end.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

So you s you sucked it up and when you were twelve, what is it that made it click for you?

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Um, I think it made me once I realized probably the more of the benefits of it. Um, because obviously as you get older you realize more of what the world is actually like. So that's when I actually realized what the benefits of jujitsu was going to be for me. And also I realized how good I was, probably around 12.

SPEAKER_03 3:15

And then I was like, oh, she was like 12 some afternoon adults. Yeah. She was magnificent. She's like choking out like 85-year-old men. She's like, I guess I'm pretty good at this.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

So, like, it wasn't till that point.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

But that is true. When you get to a core competency, all of a sudden you build this instinct, confidence. And by the way, you are a very confident young woman. Do you think that jujitsu had a part of that? Your personality is a very confident you can self-assert and you speak up for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Do you think you got some of that from jujitsu?

SPEAKER_00 3:46

I honestly believe it was due to jujitsu. Um, I was a very shy person, like for a long time. Um It wasn't like I said, it wasn't till like more that I got more involved in jiu-jitsu as I grew older that I became less shy and I realized I am more able to speak for myself and defend myself. So jujitsu is due.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

So one of the things your dad does a lot when he teaches um for our listeners, Jose, is a brown belt and you are a purple belt, yes? Correct. Yep. Okay. So um Jose sometimes teaches the classes, and I love when he does this. I just think it's adorable and it's also very helpful. You call Anna up and you say, Anna, can you show us this? Or Anna, can you show us that? So when did that tradition, when did that tradition kind of happen where you're teaching and you call her up to help out or to show something? Or how would you act? What would you do in this situation, Anna? I think it's just a great dynamic that you have. It makes learning jujitsu more fun. And it's also endearing to see a father and daughter teaching together, right? So when did that tradition happen? Is that something relatively new, or is that all through since you since you were 12?

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Um, I think it's probably as we both grew in jujitsu. Um, we both realized what works for him isn't gonna work for me.

SPEAKER_02 5:07

Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

Um, he is a bigger guy, and being a guy here obviously has more advantages than I would as a shorter female. So I think us both realizing that, we learned that oh, maybe I know something different or better than he does, and him vice versa.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Right, right, because he has some big man jujitsu moves that he can teach us, and then you have the more quick, you know, quick, crafty moves that are better for maybe uh somebody who's a little smaller.

SPEAKER_03 5:39

So jujitsu allowed you to develop respect for each other.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

Yes. Yeah. Yep. Definitely, and you just built and and grew that respect.

SPEAKER_03 5:48

And you knew that, Jose, like having her start jujitsu at an early age, you knew that, oh, if I if I get her involved in this in this art, she's gonna learn respect.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

To her, yeah, but it's more I'm involved to her, but I need I'm giving to her the computer for that time, it's give it the iPad, it's give me everything. I'm working a lot, you know that guys. I'm working too much. And this age, uh, I don't have time with her. I say, okay, I like jiu-jitsu, that's my time with her.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

Yeah, yes. So you got the you've got a double bonus for that. You like to go and then she's going, and then you share the class together.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Yeah, that's my mentality more with her. No, you're coming with me, you're coming, you need to train it with me, you're going with me. She sent to me the video, and sent to her the video, start both like the YouTube videos, you share videos work for you, or yeah, and she said, Oh, you're not showing this in the class, that's my move, and do that. You're holding out, yeah. Listen, we have a we have tester testimonial here. Yeah, that's how you guys catch up, and that I would that's that's why it's more my mentality. I say I need more time with her. Yeah, I need more time. I I I I um hate seeing her with the computer, with the iPad, and the playing games, yeah, yeah. Oh, I say okay, that's my moment. Um, the mom is giving the big five to us.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

But I also think during that time, you kind of used me as a motivation for you to lose your journey.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

Yeah, I was gonna say that I actually um was wondering about how much you the both of you have motivated each other, you know, like you're like an accountability part. Yeah, you have a natural accountability part right now right there. Going. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

One is you doesn't want to go, the other one's like.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

Jose's making excuses, and Anna's like, no, dad, that's you're you're going to jujitsu, and vice versa.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Uh, and the more dummy bad white bell, can you imagine?

SPEAKER_00 7:55

But like during the beginning of our journey, I advanced a lot quicker than he did.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

And three tub that in. And 320 pounds.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

I it was what motivated him to stick to jujitsu and also to when he we started, he was very overweight.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

320 pounds. Whoa, really? You were 320 pounds. So it was what made him I knew you were big, but I didn't know you were. I had the same three in my shoulders complete and put the weight off.

SPEAKER_03 8:25

Well, that answers that that answers my other question about physically how much jujitsu has done for you, physically like for your physical health. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

So it held him the weight for like just his confidence level too. It held him back quite a lot in the jiu-jitsu journey. It wasn't until like almost probably the same amount of years in that he actually started losing a lot more of the weight and noticed and actually started getting good at jujitsu.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Yeah, move it now. I can't, but my first three years, if bad, is wow, is lose uh hundred, 110 pounds. 100, 110 pounds, you have to lose and and these three years and 20 and 110 pounds. And these three years and lose, move it, move it, do this. Right. This is the guy, Alindo Viera, my first uh coach or sensei, he can do to me the bluebell. I understand him. I understand. I understand.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

So just to step back for a moment, you started 18 years ago. Did he start the same time? Yeah, he started the same time. Okay, you came in together basically.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Yeah, so it's one week apart. He started he took one class first.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Uh you remember the Suarez? Vita Suarez, Vita Suarez, he's coming over here with the blue bell. He introduced you to me to the jiu jitsu. So he said, Oh, why are you not going over there? Maybe you need that, it's different for you.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

So he took one class and then forced me into it the next week.

SPEAKER_03 9:52

That was so I mean, an 18-year journey, you have to have faced a lot of different challenges, you know? Yep. Um, you know, physically, mentally.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

Um, so can you talk a little bit about some of the challenges maybe you faced?

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Uh at least for me, I can say over the course of 18 years I have fallen in love and out of love with jujitsu.

SPEAKER_02 10:15

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

During the times that I fell out of love with jujitsu was probably due to me being stuck and probably personal reasons causing like that mental block and it wasn't letting me advance in jujitsu. And then I felt more stuck.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Yeah, like you hit a plateau.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

And then I'm like, what's going on? So those were the moments that I stopped, like I stopped doing jujitsu, and I didn't feel like coming back. I'm like, why? If I'm just stuck, and then I would realize I missed jujitsu there.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

Yeah, so I noticed too, I noticed too, because you you you both have trained with me with our at our school for a while now. And I noticed like sometimes like I won't see Anna for a while, and I'll see Jose, and then Jose will like push Anna to come back, and then sometimes I'll see Anna for a little while, and then I don't see Jose, and then I say, Anna, where is Jose? And then Anna will be like, I'll get him back, don't worry, and then he'll come back.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

So that so this it's a I've seen firsthand them motivating each other to no accountability that that is just reflective of the bond that you build with like a family member. That's really a sweet.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

Yeah, because like I said, like falling in love and out of love of jujitsu, he's also been there. He's also felt that being stuck. And it's not just due to jujitsu, it's also like things at home. You're just in a period of being stuck, and then you don't feel like anything's advancing. So it's like, what do you do from this? And then that's where probably one of us gives the other one the nudge.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

Yeah, the kick, like, and hopefully you're not stuck at the same time, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:52

No, it has not happened that way.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Let's let's keep it that way. You know how many times me and her training, me and him alone, and she cried. Because she's had the problem to the high school or things like that. Uh-huh. That's the moment me and her. She opened in the mat. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's happened the same thing to me. Oh, okay. Sometimes going to her and say, I'm tired, but in the math. That's the crazy thing. Yeah. Go in the red or no, no, in the math, it's more me and her role after me and her start talking and she starts open. What happened? Is that like here or at home? It's here, it's here is three times with nobody here.

SPEAKER_03 12:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

Uh, with Alindo Viera is more time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:38

Interesting. The art of jujitsu and the the mats opened up your abilities to be able to like communicate. Communicate your your about whatever it is you want here.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

Issues that you're you're grappling with, right? Yeah. So yeah, a little uh words.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

So that's very educated. That happened when my niece to Lee? Yeah, I yeah. She do the same thing. Cheese every time he's training with me, she takes the spot alone, and she opens after training with her. My niece you do the same.

SPEAKER_03 13:11

I think there's a there's a mind-body connection there. You know, you're on the mats and you're grappling and sweating with each other.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

You're like releasing everything.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

Yeah, and it's like it almost releases that physical. You know, it's it's therapeutic. Yeah. You know, and then you and then all of a sudden you open up, you you relax because you're not relaxed when you're, you know, I mean, most people are, I mean, I guess you're relaxed when you're training for the most part, but um, you're pushing yourself, you know, to your physical limitations, and then after you've pushed push yours pushed your physical limitations, your mind then opens.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

So I'm just reaching out to people out there who maybe practice jujitsu and have a son or a daughter who's practicing it with you. We really want to hear your story of how it's helping your bond and what perspective you have to add to that. So definitely send us some comments, let us know, and thanks so much for joining us.

SPEAKER_03 14:24

So that's awesome. So, any any other things about so I just have a quick interesting question.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

You guys, do you ever guys do you ever go home and like practice with when you were young? Wait, do you live together still? No. Okay, but when you did live together, did you ever go home and be like, all right, I was here on the living room carpet? Like, I was here with that with uh in a rear-naked choke and then.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Yeah, so uh yeah, so so growing up it's a lot of times that we like did trouble like troubleshoot. A little a lot of the troubleshoot, but also too, a lot of times that we tried things new to understand the concept. Right. Especially like if he wanted to teach this specific move, he would he would do the rundown with me before he go teach it at a class.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

He's like, I'm getting stuck here, and you help me.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

So it'll help you be a better teacher. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Yes, I did in my opinion, see one day and doing another label, um first thanks to my God, he said, Come on to her. There was one, my coach. Right. Because again, thanks to Alindo Viera, thanks to Gabriel Santos, now thanks to Jason. Yeah. So let's go to true.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

Indeed. Indeed. One of the things that I admire about both of you, and I think this is cool, the bond that you had, because you love to teach and you do a great job. And when when you roll, you roll, you really do roll to help the other person. Like you usually don't put a hundred percent of your pressure on people. You you roll to make it challenging, but to make it fun, you have a fun attitude, and you also teach a lot. Like after a roll, you're like, okay, this is what went well, this is where you could have done this, and you inherited that. And that's just another testimon testament to the bond because you do the same thing. After a roll, you were always the first one to say, so here's where you were, and here's two things you could do next time. Like you love doing that. And I think that you probably inculcated that philosophy into your daughter through the art of jujitsu.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Yes, I do. And do that to her a lot. And when the she roll with people, it's not you chime, it's another people chime.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Right, right. So you're you're trying to make somebody else bright, trying to make somebody else feel bad.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

And the point, yes, e that's what I'm trying to say to her. Because I believe so you one day say to Jason, yeah, I'm coming over here, that's my family.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

And take care of my family.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

The best thing is help on my family, nor sad. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

I I think that's uh such a fortunate thing for uh for um any gym, not just our gym, but any gym, to have people like Jose that are always open to helping others grow. He is always on the mats, and I let me let me say this for our listeners. Jose is an absolute absolute beast on the mat, okay? Um, and can probably smash most people that are on the mats on any given night. But he is always not, he's always being that guy who knows that he can, but wants to help more than more more people than himself, you know.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

100% agree. And he always says, We're here to have fun, enjoy this, relax, yeah, take your time, learn something. You know, it's not always a competitive role. What can we learn? And I love that philosophy as well. Think.

SPEAKER_03 17:53

That's Jose's favorite word. And and that has rubbed off, Jose, on Anna, because um, I see you like that in the dojo in the in on the mats, and I also see Anna do that. So I know that she got that from you. Yeah, she's yeah, she's really always willing to help people. She loves teaching.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

And see those great qualities. Just hand it down. Yeah, it's a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

Definitely. Yeah. So do we have any takeaways? We have a lot. We have a lot of people.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

Yeah, I think it's in my notes.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

Um before you do that, those takeaways, Frank. I just want to make just one like statement about how happy I am for our listeners to be able to hear about the passion of jujitsu in a family because we didn't have a chance to really do that yet. We've had now, I don't know, I'm not sure how many episodes we have had eighteen or so. Um, and in all those episodes, we've connected the art of jujitsu to people's careers, but we haven't had a chance to connect the art of jujitsu to a family relationship like this. Right. And it's really nice for our listeners to be able to hear how the passion of jujitsu can create such a strong bond between a father and a daughter.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Percent. And so the first takeaway is force your kids into jujitsu. That's the first takeaway that I got. They will like you for three years and then they will love you for it. I I think that I like the way Jose explained that it's a double whammy. You get a double benefit. You're gonna do it for yourself, but now instead of your kid maybe being on the on the iPad or whatever Rainbow Six Siege that they're gonna be playing, they get to come into the gym and spend time with you. So it's a double advantage, right? Um, I like that Anna talked about being stuck in jujitsu because it just makes us feel like normal because we all feel stuck in jujitsu. There's nobody who feels like they're always growing. Part of jujitsu is sometimes you just go down and you stay here for a while, bottom fishing, right?

SPEAKER_03 19:53

Yeah, and you just gotta keep coming and you gotta find reasons to keep coming. And you know, when you have a relationship like they have, finding a reason to keep coming.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

Right there. Yeah, you know, right there at your house. So I think that's a beautiful uh like relationship to have an accountability partner built into your family. That's just sweet. I thought it was really cool, and I wasn't expecting the being after a role, being open to talk time for you guys to connect is amazing. That you have a hard role, you have a good role, and then all of a sudden you're talking about something like an emotional issue or something that's happening at school, something that's happening at work, opening up that is a special thing. So, you know, if you're a parent and you're thinking of making that bond, so you know what's going on in your kids' life, you're gonna know because you're gonna be rolling with them. And when you roll with something, I mean, even the people that are not my family that I roll with afterwards, we just tell each other like so many personal details of our lives. Like, this is what's going on in my life. Like, I feel like these these people are my family members, my extended family members, right? So you definitely get that from jujitsu. And I love that you guys cultivated that. You mentioned, Jason, uh you notice from what they're saying that jujitsu is a catharsis and it's therapeutic. That's a theme we always hear. It's it's uh it's a way to connect, it's a way to get everything out on the mats, and when you can do that with a family member, all the better, right? Absolutely. And finally, speaking of family, uh you have your immediate family here, but I love that you said we're all your family. You come here to see your family. And that is one of the biggest gifts that jujitsu gives you is people that you really know have your back, physically sometimes have your back, but also emotionally, mentally, advice-wise. There's a lot of people in this gym that I absolutely can trust. And to bring that into your family, what a beautiful thing. Absolutely. Right? So Yeah, that's a lot.

SPEAKER_03 21:53

That's a lot of taste. A lot of valuable, yeah, a lot of valuable insights there on on jujitsu and re and relationships, you know, in general, too. I mean, this is a father-daughter relationship, but relationships in general, right? You know, we have um some some people who are you know husband and wife or boyfriend and friend. We should do uh yeah, we we gotta do it. So so it's an interesting I guest invite on that too. Right. Because it's love. If you love each other, then you love jujitsu, right? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

It just makes it makes everything jujitsu is like an ingredient that makes everything better. You know what is more crazy? I don't know see she remembered what is um show uh say to you, uh, one just give it to you the bluebell. That's my unhappy because give it to her the blue belt, but when she compete in the blue belt, that destroyed my heart. What do you mean? Oh, like like in a trip. He's now it's not the kid. Yeah, he's not competing in the kid. Right. Now it's super a label. Now he does.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

He was concerned that he would be fighting women.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

Adult 16. Yeah, yeah, that's a scary transition.

SPEAKER_03 23:01

16 is let's go to truth, it's a kid. So it's a proud dad moment.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Yeah, yeah, but in the point say, Oh my god, now she's scary. Yeah, first the fear and then the pride, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:11

Yeah, but I remember say that after my first competition, those worries went away.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

Yeah. Well, that's because you want to eat the leg or uh leg love to the girl, and look at the leg to the woman. A beast has offspring that is a beast. Yes, handed that down. I don't see let's go to proof her. See, she remembered the first the thing can say to you when you had the 16. Okay, you and the ground, you can win the fight. Oh no, these people correct. Like, what do you say to you?

SPEAKER_00 23:44

She's wording was basically like, even though, like, if my back's facing the ground, I could still win.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

Yeah, I like that. If you have your back on the ground, you can still win. Yeah. Remember that, listener. And thank you guys so much for coming in. Thank you for your time. Thank you for all you do for us and also for doing this. And we hope our listeners got a lot of value out of that. And please share this and encourage people who have a child to dual enroll. You will create a great bond. You will for sure. 100%. Right. Thank you, everybody. All right. Thanks. Have a great night.

SPEAKER_03 24:22

Well, there you have it. As we wrap up today's episode, let's take a moment to reflect on the powerful connections we've explored between the art of jujitsu and your career. In your workplace and in jujitsu, you learn to adapt and navigate challenges. So remember that persistence and the courage to embrace the lessons you learned are the keys to your growth both on the mat and in your career.