Rooted Within

If You Think Nervous System Healing Means You'll Never Feel Stressed Again, Think Again

• Maggie Wendt | Whole Family Health • Episode 44

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Are you constantly feeling on edge: snapping at the smallest noise, unable to slow down, and wondering why you’re always “on”? What if your so-called triggers have less to do with what’s happening around you, and more to do with emotional patterns running under the surface? In this episode, I uncover the myths about emotional regulation, expose why perfection-based “never get triggered” advice is actually harmful, and reveal the signals your body sends you when you’re truly out of balance. This episode builds compassion for your very human swings and hands you a new, practical lens for restoring calm, not just for yourself, but for your entire family, even (and especially) if you’ve always felt reactive. If you want a real look at nervous system mastery, beyond the social media promises, this episode will shift your understanding, fast.

Topics Discussed:

  • The truth about triggers: why “never getting stressed” is an impossible, even toxic, goal
  • How to spot the difference between healthy vigilance and frantic reactivity (and why it matters)
  • Why your emotional state creates your reality and the practical steps you can take to shift it
  • The hidden roots of your emotional patterns: childhood coping, social programming, and intuition
  • Practical tools and everyday examples to help you (and your kids) move from fight or flight back to balance

Resources Mentioned:


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SPEAKER_00

Welcome back to the Rooted Within Podcast. My name is Mickey, founder and CEO of Whole Family Health. This is where ancient wisdom and modern science come together. A return to wholeness, led by the wisdom that has always lived within you. Hello, hello, you guys. Welcome back to another great episode. Happy summer, everybody. Happy summer. I hope that you guys are taking some extra time off. I hope you guys are soaking in the sun, getting into your feminine if you're a lady, and just relaxing and playing and moving with the rhythms of the season. And yeah, it's been really great over here. We've been doing just that. And it actually inspired this very episode that I want to talk to you guys about. Actually, in all honesty, last week we had our good friend's dog over. This cute grandpa dog. I think he said he was eight and a half, and we were dog sitting for really no reason. They live like three minutes away from us. They were home, but our children have been obsessed with babies and dogs, and they desperately want a pet. And so we have been doing some trial runs, okay? And it's been so beautiful. He was the best dog ever. He stayed for a couple nights, and we just got into the rhythm of learning how to care for this beautiful animal. And as I was watching him, it's been quite some time since I've had a dog in the house. We grew up with dogs. We always had a dog, one or two of them growing up. And what's really interesting about me is that early on in life, I remember having attachments to our family dog. And then I don't know. I've actually never sat and intuited it, but something happened where I turned off all emotions to animals, where I went on elementary, middle, and high, where I did not like animals. Like I did not like our family dogs. I wouldn't help take care of them. I was so turned off by them and I didn't like other people's pets. And I just have had a really hard connection with animals, which is kind of surprising since I'm such an empath, such a sensitive person, so caring, so nurturing. And I kid you guys not. It has been in the last year, one year, that I have really started to love animals again. Isn't that wild? Like all of my life, everybody around me, all my close family, all my close friends, just knew I did not like animals. Didn't think they were cute, didn't think that they were friendly, like their dogs would jump up on me, and I'd probably have this look on my face, like, uh, please don't. And oh, just was not my cup of tea. But ever since we moved here, and I've kind of re-established my whole horse journey that I'm on right now, and being around our friends with animals and dogs, and this is just like a very rural country farm community as well. And the lady that I do horseback riding lessons from, she has a lot of baby animals there. And so I have had a fire lit back inside me of absolutely loving animals and the connections to animals. So, all that to say, we are thinking about getting a dog or a horse. I'm still rooting for a horse first, and I am totally outnumbered here. My entire family, every single member wants a dog or a baby. That's what they tell me every day. Like, either you give us a baby brother or sister, or we want a pet. And so Tyler and I are really working on making that dream come true. We're leaning more towards the animal. Yes, I know you guys are thinking, what? So we are leaning more towards a dog. Anyways, we were house sitting and completely fell in love with this little dog, like the cutest, most specialist dog ever. But it's been a while since I've had a dog in the house. Like I said, Tyler and I haven't had pets, and I've been out of my house since I've been 18 years old. So it was me getting used to having another breathing animal in the house. Anyways, I was observing this sweet pup, and you know, our kids are pretty busy. They're 10 years old when this airs. My son's having his 10th birthday this week. 10 years old, we have a seven and a half year old and then a five-year-old. So they're busy, busy, busy bees. They're constantly walking in and out of the house. All the neighbor kids are trudging in and out of this house, and they're just busy kids. And so this little dog, he's not little, he's a grandpa, but this sweet dog was trying to nap like every second of the day. And I was watching him as he would be passed out and asleep, and then he would hear shuffling downstairs, like one of the kids playing, or he'd be passed out and asleep, and then he would hear like the slightest little, you know, wind blowing outside, and his ears would kind of perk up, but he would still be asleep and he would still have his eyes closed. And I was watching him as the days went on, and I was like, you know what? He is never fully off the clock. And for some of you guys that are animal lovers, you guys are like, yep, totally. They are always on, you know, their safety and their security of self, and they have the insane sense of hearing and all that good stuff. It was just really fascinating to sit back and observe him. You know, even in the middle of the night, I would be sleeping. He was in bed with us, and he could hear one of the kids walking in or walking to the bathroom, even down the hall. And it's like he didn't fully wake, but he was a hundred percent in awareness that there was another little body up and moving. And I was like, that's so interesting that it's almost like his nervous system and his senses never fully shut off. And it got me thinking of how many clients that I have and how many people out in my community and in my real life are working with that same type of nervous system that never fully shuts off. And my main love of life is observing people, is just sitting back and watching the patterns and watching the body language and using my intuition and all this good stuff while I'm out in public. And you better believe I also do it at home here. All the people around here coming in and out. But what I've been noticing is just this like very, very, very heightened nervous system to the point where people will be similar to this sweet dog that we had at home. Such as we'll be out and they'll hear something like somebody coming up, but they're startled, right? So when I had this dog and I was watching him, his body wasn't reacting, right? He wasn't jumping, he wasn't fidgeting, he wasn't frantic, he was in awareness, but he wasn't overreacting, right? It was a very big difference. And it got me thinking of all these people that I see out in real life who are the opposite, where they hear something, or their body wasn't expecting something like a noise to happen, or to have a kid come up to them, or to have a kid be talking to them, or what have you at the park. And every single time people's bodies are startled, they're jumping, they're dropping drinks, they're like frantic, they're panicked, their heart rates are going wild. And it reminded me of how heightened we all are, and how it's actually not a good thing for our nervous system to be at that level of heightened awareness at all times without the ability to shift ourselves from a sympathetic nervous system back to a parasympathetic nervous system. Now, when people deep dive into the nervous system, there is kind of this myth and misconception that we should be building our nervous systems to never have stress, to always have this laxadaisical life where nothing irks us, nothing triggers us. We're just so flow, right? You can even get into this in the feminine space and education area as well of just always being in flow, never feeling stressed, never getting bothered, all of these types of things. And that couldn't be further from the truth. It is so interesting to see how society has spun this because it actually has been pretty counterintuitive. And from what I have seen in my one-on-one clients and in my practice, is that it tends to spiral people backwards as well. So let's get into that. Let's let's unpack that a little bit more. When we have the education around, oh, you know, a great nervous system, a high-functioning nervous system means that I'm never gonna feel stress again. When we set that as our goal, that could not be more unrealistic. When we set as our goal, oh, we're not gonna feel as triggered anymore, we're not gonna be as triggered anymore, that is also a very unrealistic goal. Having this idea that we are going to romanticize the shit out of life, which y'all, I'm a great, great advocate for romanticizing your life. But when you have it to the point where you have the unrealistic expectation that everything is gonna be peachy, that's where the problems come in because it's not how our 3D human reality was supposed to be lived. Our 3D human reality here on planet Earth in the third dimension, we are supposed to be human. We are supposed to be human with emotions, with the highs, with the lows. When you go into the different realms that we have, the different dimensions that we have, second realm, the realm below us, they do not have emotions. And you get to the third realm and third realm beings, us as humans, we are meant to master our emotions. And then when you get to the fourth realm and fifth realm and so on and so forth, you already have the mastery over emotions and you can create things in your reality super fast. It's this whole system that Sourcer God has designed for us, but we are essentially meant to live with highs and lows of emotions. We always talk about that contrast, right? Dark and light, soft and hard, like all these different contrasts that we have, highs and lows, so that we can experience both sides, right? The yin and the yang. We need to be able to see the contrast to understand the difference between these two elements, between these two sides. So we are meant to experience raw, real emotions. And when I mean master your emotions, this is where everybody gets tripped up. I do not mean that you will never have another trigger in your life. I do not mean that you will never have what feels like trauma again in your life. I do not mean that you will never have another bad day. I do not mean that you will never have a hard moment again. That is not what I mean. I mean when you master your emotions, you are able to pull yourself back into an emotionally balanced state because you are going to ebb and flow. You are going to have moments that rock you. You are going to be triggered and you are going to keep dealing with your recurring soul lessons in this lifetime, time and time again. Once you get to, you know, kindergarten grade level of your soul lesson, which, if you guys are just starting with whole family health, you're probably at the kindergarten level. You're just getting into awareness of it, you're just working through it. And you might graduate on to grade one and grade two and grade three. And guess what? There's a bazillion grades. So you just keep moving through the game of life and going and up-leveling at every moment that you can and you know, evolving your consciousness. But you will continue to have these upgrades and continue to have these leveling ups that push you to see different perspectives and different angles. And guess what? It's not always gonna be peachy, it's not always going to be something to rave about, it's not always going to be sexy and cute and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's going to at times really rock you. And I think what makes it so different here at Whole Family Health and other people is that we are really realistic. We are very much like, this is what it is, right? You are gonna have another trigger. You are gonna have another bad moment. But do you have the tools, the resources, the mentorship, the community to get yourself back into a state of balance? That's the difference. The difference here is that I want you to expect that you will ebb and flow throughout life. I want you to expect that you will ebb and flow throughout emotions, highs and lows. But do you have the capability to pull yourself, whether you are in an emotional high or whether you are in an emotional low, do you have the capability to put yourself back into balance? That is what we call emotional mastery. So all this garbage stuff that's floating around Instagram and TikTok and all these other social media platforms that promise you the world, that promise you a balanced nervous system at every single point in time, it's all a load of garbage. I mean that with like the most love. It's garbage. I want you to know that your nervous system was meant to be pushed into a sympathetic state, which means your fight or flight system is on, your logical brain is turned off, your body is in a heightened state, and your body within this state can handle stress. It can. It was meant, it was biologically and physiologically meant to handle high levels of stress in this state. Okay. And there's nothing wrong also with being in this state of a sympathetic nervous system. There is nothing wrong with that. It's good, right? We want to have our sympathetic nervous system activated when we're crossing a road and we see or hear a car coming and we quick dip out of the way. We want that sympathetic nervous system actively on and running. Just like we also want to be able to tap into our parasympathetic mode and make sure that we are in that rest and digest and giving our bodies a break of being in that heightened state, right? When we are in parasympathetic, that's when we are in that flow. That's when we are feeling unbothered. That's when we are playful. That is where we can rest and sleep and our body can recover. Both modes are so important. And there is not one mode that is better than the other. And it is this beautiful balance of parasympathetic and sympathetic that work together rhythmically to create a well-balanced body. All right. However, what we see within the education world, within the nervous system regulation world, within all of it, I've seen it all, trust me, is that everybody's striving to just be in that parasympathetic mode. Just be in that parasympathetic mode. And the reason why the pendulum kind of has swung to it being trendy and sexy and cool to be talking about the nervous system and to be talking about the vagus nerve and to be talking about parasympathetic mode is because most of the population is chronically stuck in a sympathetic activated state, meaning that they create a state of being where they are always heightened. Kind of like that story I talked about earlier where I'll be at the park, or I've seen this a lot within friend groups where we're all talking and then like a kid will act silly or goofy, and some of the parents are stressed. They like push them, they were already in a very heightened state, but because they were already kind of chronically in that sympathetic state, it like shook them. Were they shaking? They were having like physiological symptoms towards a kid just, you know, upping their tone a little bit. And just like the dog I was watching this weekend, they were always on guard. Their body was not ebbing and flowing between parasympathetic and sympathetic in this beautiful rhythmic nature. People can get stuck in the sympathetic in a heightened state. And that's where it gets really tricky because again, when you don't have that tool, you don't have the resource, the knowledge, the mentorship, the community to understand your body and be able to go, whoa, I'm unusually heightened right now, right? If you have a trained intuition, you can clock where your emotional balance is throughout the day. I do that, oh my gosh, way too many times than I'd ever like to admit. But because I'm working on this, emotional balance is the key to getting everything you want in life. Emotional balance is what creates your electromagnetic field. It's what creates the energetic broadcasts that you push out and then start receiving in situations, circumstances, events, and interactions with people and thus create your reality. So if you're gonna master anything in life, for one, you should always have a trained intuition. But for two, emotional mastery is king. It's king because it creates your entire reality. You want to have insane amounts of wealth, you want to have a business, you want to have friends, you want to have a great marriage, you want to be a great parent. Like everything comes down to your ability to have emotional mastery. Every single thing. Having a career, like everything comes down to your ability to recognize, wow, I am way heightened right now. Why am I heightened? And what tools do I need to do to bring myself back to a neutral, balanced state? Barely anybody is talking about that. And it's a real problem because, like I said, most of our communities, most of our world has their sympathetic nervous system, their heightened, activated nervous system ready and rearing to go at all times. They never fluctuate and go back into a parasympathetic state. And that is a problem for your adrenals, that's a problem for your hormones, that's a problem for so many different organs and functions and systems within your body. They will become depleted if they do not get a break from being on. It's really, really, really important to understand that. So again, with intuition, I can go, all right, Maggie, how emotionally balanced are you right now? And I've talked before a lot within our live interactions. I've talked before a lot within the podcasts about how your human self, what you think consciously or even subconsciously, is always so radically different than what is truly happening within your body. It is so easy to think, oh, I'm not really heightened about this situation. And then when you intuitively look in, you go, holy man, like I am a 93 out of a 100 bothered by this situation. I had no idea. And the reason we have this almost like overlay of dishonest information between body and brain is because we have a lot of social conditioning there. We have a lot of survival and coping mechanisms we have learned to activate and use in order to shield ourselves, in order to activate our ego and not feel harmed or threatened, or having our safety be hurt or, you know, shaken up in any way. So we have all these coping strategies of having something happen to us immediately. Our subconscious starts to chew on it, our body feels it, we feel like it's a big deal, we have a very imbalanced emotional perspective on it. Yet maybe as a child, our parent was always like, I Everything's fine. It's okay. It could be worse. Could be worse, right? And they're quick to stuff it off. They're quick to not think about it. They're quick to move on. They don't want to hear you cry. They don't want to hear you get upset. You know, those big feelings were not able to be communicated at home. So as an adult, you do the same thing. You go, something bad happens, or something shocks you or is presented to you, and you have an imbalanced emotion towards it. And immediately your coping mechanism is, you know, shake it off, don't worry about it, just move on. It could be so much worse. You should feel grateful, all of these things. And pretty soon your conscious mind is no longer chewing on it. But guess what is? Your subconscious mind, your subconscious mind is still going over it. If you included different body parts in those feelings, you've started memories, you've unlocked memories, all of that. They're still working, even though you have consciously completely disregarded that event and you are not consciously thinking of it, your body and your subconscious is. So that's kind of why training your intuition, I mean, for maybe this is the millionth and one reason why it's so beneficial and I'd never live a life without it. But you can intuitively check and go, how emotionally balanced am I really about this? And you can kind of start to see patterns within yourself where you go, oh, like I never allow my body to communicate and I'm always quick to just disregard it. But actually, I am really bothered by it, and I'm seeing how bothered I am by it. Again, if it's a 93 out of 100, that's really bothered by the situation. That's having a really imbalanced perception on that situation. And it's going to take you going back in there and doing some neuroscience work, doing some brain rewiring and helping yourself see a more balanced perception. On the contrary, we can also, you know, have a situation happen to us again and have an imbalanced perception. And we can intuitively go in and go, how emotionally imbalanced am I on this? How balanced am I on? Whichever way you want to ask the question. And your human self could go, I am really upset by this. I am very mad about this situation. I'm a level 10 out of 10, just shaking, angry, volatile, ticked off. I am so mad. And intuitively, you can go in and be like, oh, it's only a 15% out of a 100. And again, there's just this dishonesty between body and brain. And in those types of situations, it's usually that you were already in a heightened state. You were already in fight or flight. You had already activated your sympathetic nervous system, and it was for something prior. And when this situation came on, you kind of, you know, glued on the past irritation or the original trigger onto this situation when it probably had nothing to do with it. So again, it's so helpful to have your intuition and go, am I really mad about this? Because what do we do when we are heightened, when we are angry, when we're having imbalanced perceptions, we try to go and solve that then, right? So I'll give you an example. Let's say that I woke up in the morning and I just kind of was off from the get-go. Okay. I was up a little bit later than I normally am. And the kids woke us up in the middle of the night. And I just woke up and I was already off on the wrong foot, right? And I didn't consciously think about it. I didn't wake up and go, wow, my routine's off. I feel off, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm just going about my morning. Then let's say that my husband, I'm making this up, but this could totally happen. My husband makes me coffee every morning. And let's say that he ended up waking up late that day. And by the time I woke up, I went to go get my usual cup of coffee and he didn't have time to make it. So already right there, I am angry, right? I woke up, I moved to the kitchen to get my cup of coffee that is always sitting right there for me and it's not there. Okay. I could take this situation and be like, oh my gosh, I am so mad right now. I am so mad he doesn't take care of me. He's not prioritizing me. What is wrong? Why doesn't he wake up early? Why doesn't he problem solve more? And this is affecting my day, right? So if I'm in this imbalanced state, what do I usually do after this? I go and send him a nasty text, right? I go, well, I'm not making dinner tonight. If he can't make me a cup of coffee, I would never do this. But I've just given a random made-up example right now. I'm not making dinner tonight. If he can't do things for me, I'm not doing things for him, right? You start to build this wall up between you and him. This would be a great example where I would go in with my intuition and I would go, am I emotionally imbalanced about my husband not making me coffee this morning? It could be that I got a 15% out of a 100%, right? My human thinks that I'm super mad. My conscious brain thinks that I'm super mad about the coffee, but I'm actually mad at myself for staying up late last night, for not having better systems in place for my kids' sleeping habits, for waking up on the wrong side of the bed, all of that. I'm mad at myself. It actually has nothing to do with him, but there I am attaching all of those feelings I have towards self onto him, right? And so when you have a trained intuition and you can do a real clear-cut answer and go, okay, how mad am I really at with this? You can do a clear-cut answer and question series and figure out how emotionally imbalanced you really are with that. So it's really helpful to kind of be able to navigate your emotions with a scientifically precise, intuitive measuring skill set and understand where your emotions truly are at. And we've talked about this before, but we just do not have enough emotional awareness as a society. Our children do not have enough education around emotions. We do not have curriculums around the right emotions. We have not grown up with any parents that understand emotions or have parented us with great emotions. Like this is a very big, untapped field where there is just not a lot of integration, not a lot of knowledge, and certainly not a lot of source truth or high frequency nuggets that have been passed down to us in the field of emotions. And it's one of, like I said, the biggest mastery skill sets you could have. And yes, having a trained intuition makes it so much easier. But essentially, we all want to get to this point where we understand that we are going to have triggers. We understand that we're going to have life stressors. We understand that things are going to happen and there's going to be learning lessons and we are going to have reflections. Yes, reflections until the day that we die. We want reflections, y'all. We want to know when we are out of balance in the communication of unbalanced emotions. We want that. You really truly think about it, you break it down in its simplest form. Let's say body reflections, right? Body symptoms that we do not want. If we did not have the slow progression of communication for our body going whisper, whisper, whisper, shout, we would not understand how much we are missing out on life. We would not understand the untapped potential that we have been missing throughout our entire life. I don't know about you, but I love the gauge. I love the course correction. I love my body and my reflections and my world and my triggers constantly telling me, whoa, Megs, you are off kilter right now. Whoa, Megs, this is going to have you literally stop the progression of your biggest goal over here if you do not tackle this reflection right here. I love that gauge. And I want every single person that is a part of Whole Family Health to grow to love it. Because truly, if we did not have that gauge, we would be all so off. This system was, by complete design, the most amazing, intricate system to constantly showcase us where our internal state is based on our outside reality, our external reality, like could not be more genius. And I will forever be grateful for every reflection that comes in, every trigger that comes in, and all of it. Might not be in that moment, right? Might have to work on that. Again, I am human. I'm in the 3D reality. I'm in the third dimension. I am here to master my emotions, right? But I will get myself to that balanced space. And the more you work that muscle of, oh, something is happening that I don't like. Let me go in and fix that. Everything is fixable, everything is figure outable. I have the ability to change my internal world to make it match my external world. The more you flex that muscle, you use that muscle, the easier it is. It becomes so easy, so natural, and a very well-established and strengthened neural pathway that easily just pops up whenever you're in some kind of sticky situation. You'll get to that point. If you haven't already kind of started on that neural pathway, that's a great one, an emotional ingredient that really helps everything along. So you will get to that point. If you're just starting out, it's a far jump, right? You're gonna need little baby jumps beforehand to kind of have that real high frequency understanding. So again, we want to get to the point where we have that embedded in our field. But also when we have a stressor come up, when we have a reflection come up, when we have a trigger come up, we need to be able to get ourselves out of that sympathetic mode and get back into the parasympathetic mode. It is a must. So many people, like I said, are walking around chronically stuck in fight or flight and are having a lot of those heightened sensations, heightened states where they are driving and they see something way out of their peripheral and they're freaking out, right? They're like jerking the wheel, they're nervous. People that just can't even let other people drive them around, they need to be the one in control, they need to be the driver. These are all different variations of you are chronically stuck in fight or flight. If your body gets worried and freaked out when the doorbell rings, if a dog barks, if whatever, if you are easily scared, you are easily frightened, you are easily heightened, that is a really good red flag for you to go, oof, my body is probably most likely nine times out of 10, stuck in fight or flight. And I've got to put some time, energy, and investment into being able to shift out of that, to downshift out of it and get back into a parasympathetic state. It is a great, great skill set that I think every single person needs to understand on a fundamental level. Like, what does it feel like when my specific body is in fight or flight? What is something that I notice? These are things that we can intuitively map out for you. But what are the things that are unique to you? I've talked about this before, but my son will have stomach aches, right? His stomach cramps are a huge red flag indicator. Oh my gosh, I'm in fight or flight. For me, I've talked about that like heaviness feeling in my chest and not being able to take a deep breath. We all have these different emotional cues and physical cues in our body that let us know we are in fight or flight. Or another way of saying that is in the sympathetic nervous system, right? An activated sympathetic state. Now, sometimes we can be in this sympathetic state chronically and for so long that some of these feelings feel very normal to us. It feels very normal to us to live with anxiety 24-7 around the clock. It feels very normal for us to have insomnia, not be able to sleep, and only have two to three hours of sleep at a time. Feels very normal for us to be jittery and fidgety and pacing and not being able to calm ourselves down. We can get to a point as humans where we kind of just live with those symptoms and we don't see it for what it is and try to actively pull ourselves back down to a restful state. So it can sneak up on us, right? If you've been living that lifestyle for a very long time, you probably think that that body state, that mind state, is normal and you don't know any different. But when you have the ability to just pull yourself down, I was trying to explain this to a student last week in our live QA because she was asking, what does it feel like to be 100% balanced, right? You need to have that contrast where you can really feel and lock into that feeling of being emotionally balanced. So that when you're outside of that feeling, you know that the pendulum has swung and we've got to get it back into that balanced state. So just like it's important to be able to identify when you are in fight or flight, when you are in a sympathetic, activated state, it's just as important to understand and feel what it is like to be in a parasympathetic state and be in a relaxed state and be in a state of rest and digest so that you have the two glaringly obvious contrasted feelings, and it will help you be able to navigate better where you ideally should be. Remember, again, even if you peek outside the emotionally balanced state, it's okay and you should expect that. It's just do you have the ability to pull it back in to be able to get back into that neutral balanced state in as quick of a time as you possibly can with the tools, knowledge, resources, all of that stuff with where you're at within your journey? Do you have the ability to pull it back into a balanced state? So that question was such an incredible question by that student. It was amazing. And everybody's going to have a little bit of a different feeling, right? When I am in a completely neutral, emotionally balanced state, I don't give a crap about anything. I am very much in flow. Like I am so present in the moment that I am not sitting and thinking and hyperventilating about to-do lists. If something were to come up with my kids and we needed to shift gears and we needed to stop being at a playdate or stop being at the park or stop our plans that we were currently presently in, I would have zero issues or quandaries about it. I just would be like, yeah, no, that's great. I would be so flow, so flow. Another good indicator for myself is like driving. I am so in the flow of driving. Like somebody could cut me off. It wouldn't even register in my brain. Somebody could be like speeding down the highway, and I'd be like, God bless, God bless you, and I hope you drive safe. Like it's just such a different mindset and mind frame and feels so different in my body. And actually, for me, I become very introverted when I'm emotionally balanced as well. I think when I am emotionally balanced, I'm much more reserved and to myself. So I remember early on when I was becoming more regulated because I was, I will say, queen at being dysregulated very early on in our marriage. In our marriage early on, I was very masculine, y'all. I was very masculine. I was very controlling, not controlling of him, but just like controlling of the plans and then driving. And I needed to know what was going on at every given second. And I was very masculine. I was very domineering. I would pick where we wanted to eat, and I just would be like, nope, this is where we're going. Like I early on had a lot of masculine tendencies and characteristics, and I've morphed so much over the last 15 years of us together. But I was highly dysregulated, you guys. And I still have a long road, but I had a long road ahead of me of becoming the regulated person that you see today, which is honestly a huge compliment I get out in my community in my real life, is everyone always tells me how just balanced and calm I am. And I'm always very quick to be like, it was not always like that. This is something I've had to work really, really, really, really, really hard at. And it's funny because they think that I'm just like that. And I'm like, oh Lord, if you could have seen me 10 years ago, 15 years ago, 20 years ago, oh my gosh, totally get it. So that's one of the biggest compliments I receive, but it's come with a lot of work, a lot of effort, and a lot of understanding myself. But when I am emotionally balanced, I'm much more reserved, much more quiet, like I don't have something to say about everything. I don't correct the kids at all. I am just in zen. And so it'll look different for everybody. So again, it's why it's important for you to understand and figure out what your emotional balanced state is. What are some of the characteristics that you possess? What are some of the personality traits you possess when you're emotionally balanced? What do the people around you say to you? This is a big key helpful factor is like, what are the people around you saying to you when you are emotionally balanced? Like I just said, a lot of people compliment me. My husband will know that when I'm going inward and I'm not so chatty and blah, blah, blah, blah, like overcompensating. He knows that I'm much more emotionally balanced and at a state of being very, very, very neutral. Again, neutral is flow. Neutral is anything that happens to me right now, I'm totally fine with. Anything that goes right now, I will figure it out. Anything that I am presented with right now, we're gonna go with it. That's neutrality. That's going, huh, I don't really like this aspect, but I love this aspect. And it's understanding that there's an equal amount of positive things to that situation that there is negative things. So it's going, wow, I see both sides of this, see it both equally, and I'm okay. I know that this is for my benefit. That's neutral, that's balanced, that's being presented a struggle, a challenge, an opportunity, and being able to be like, yeah, I'm gonna figure it out, right? Like there's not so great things here and some really great things over here, and it's gonna be okay. So when you start to have some of those different thought processes and mindfulness, and you truly have, seriously, you truly have the ability to flow with your day, flow with your present moments. You're up for anything. That type of energy is emotional balance. The minute you try to choke hold the energy, the minute you try to control, you try to dig your claws in, you try to dominate the day, the minute that you go, I have to have this day, or else, or else it's all over, or else I don't get to make the income I want to get. Like all of that choke holding desperation energy, that's not emotional balance. That's not emotional balance. And so it's really understanding the difference between the two and learning where you are leaning a little bit heavier on one side in different areas of life. And by the way, I don't mean that you're never in your masculine energy. Like for me, for business, I do have to go into my masculine energy often when I have to do CEO type tasks, right? When I have to do payroll, when I have to do taxes, when I have to have hard conversations with employees, when I have to, whatever, I do have to jump into my masculine, but you can still be in your masculine and balanced, right? You can still be assertive and have directed energy towards tasks and time allotment, more of that masculine energy, but you're still balanced, meaning you're still seeing the positive and the negative and the neutrality in it all. So I don't want you guys to get confused with the masculine and the feminine energy and feeling like masculine energy can't be balanced. It 100% can. How do you think our beautiful men are on the world that are very, very masculine? They are balanced, right? They can be balanced, just like the feminine and you know, females and people with more feminine energy can be balanced. Both energies can stay in neutral balance, and both energies can be unbalanced as well. So don't get confused or link or have some sort of association. I'm just trying to share some real life examples from my life to kind of help you guys see what that feels like maybe for your life and where maybe. You have been noticing that there's been some more imbalanced emotions in certain areas. Or maybe you're going, like, man, you're really calling me out. I feel like I'm dysregulated a lot of the times. I feel like my nervous system is constantly insympathetic. And I need to work on taking it out and giving it some rest and digest, right? I need to work on calming down and not being so frantic and panicked in my energy. So this episode is really just to clear the air. I've been seeing again a lot of these misconceptions, these myths of we're just never going to get stressed out again. We're just never going to deal with the trigger again. We're never going to have hard things in life. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, full stop. You will, but do you have the ability to change your perspective on it in a matter of five minutes, in a matter of 10 minutes? That's how quick we we teach you here within our practice through our emotional mastery program and through the different things we've done to help teach you how to train your intuition, how to train yourself to change the perspective and get into balance very, very quickly. But do you have that ability to pull yourself out of that imbalanced state and get you back to a state of balance? Do you have that capability? Do you know when you are in a heightened state? And like I said, it's very, very hard to have a full understanding, to have that innate knowing unless you have a trained intuition that can kind of call you out when you're in your human self and you're like, ah, I'm not bothered. Totally not bothered. Or you're like, I am totally bothered. And your intuition's like, no, girl, we don't care. We care about something that happened 48 hours ago. We certainly don't care about this little teeny popper situation here. So again, all really, really great things. But what I want you guys to think about this week is I want you guys to start thinking and start reflecting and start sitting in that awareness of where am I at within emotional mastery? Am I one of the girls she's talking about that is constantly heightened, where I get scared with little noises, where my sensations are off the charts, always rocking and rolling, where I feel like I need to fire back when somebody sends a text and I need to immediately respond to them. I can never come down, I can never let them wait for a day or two. I need to have a plan. I need to plan out every single moment of my life. I need to go, go, go, go, go, and I can't ever turn it off. Or do you feel like you're kind of like that sweet little pup that was here this weekend? That kept his senses on, could hear things going on around him, but he wasn't reacting. He heard a sound, he wasn't jumping, he was curious, he was calm, he was still half sleeping, his system was still rocking and rolling where he could, if he needed to get up and protect or get up and see what was going on. But he sat and he had a pause, which was just brilliant. The pause is brilliant. You have a trigger, you have a conversation, you have a heightened sense, get curious about it. Give it a pause, just like that sweet pup did. Like, gave it a pause. Is something wrong? Is something going on? Nothing? Okay, I'm flowing with it. I don't need to get up and like figure it out. I don't need to get up and like search around and be all nosy. I trust everything's okay. And if it needs my immediate attention, I will trust that my body will let me know and then I will get up and take action. We need more of that energy in our life, you know? We need more of that energy and not this frantic, messy, frazzled energy where we're constantly just reacting all the time to every noise, to every conversation, to every text, to every email, to every, every, every, every, everything. It's just let's pause, let's reflect, let's sit in it for just a moment to see if it needs our immediate attention. And it's a really hard thing to train yourself to do, right? Because you watch every single other person around you in your real life, and I'm sure you would agree that they carry that frantic energy. And so it is hard to not let those we've talked about, like emotions being contagious. If you didn't come to last week's webinar, we did a whole one-hour series on it. It was amazing, it was incredible. So really truly go watch that replay. But emotions are contagious, so you're taking on all these people's frazzled energies. But just sit back, reflect. Where do you fall on this sliding scale? Do you feel like you need to work a little bit more on emotional mastery, getting yourself to come back down to neutrality? Do you feel like you have a good grasp at the beginning where you're like, yeah, I totally know my body's signs and signals for being balanced. And I totally know what their signs and signals are for being imbalanced. There's all these different things that you guys can take different angles on within this podcast and dive more deeper into and reflect of where you are within the array of all you can do within emotional mastery. There's so many different angles that you can take and master and reflect on. But that's what I would love to see you guys start doing this week. Because again, why do we want to do this? Why do we want emotional mastery? We want emotional mastery because anytime we dip out of balance, anytime the longer we're sitting in fight or flight and not allowing our body to come back into a state of rest, the longer and the louder we are creating our energetic broadcasts to go out and come back and reflect that same frantic, heightened state back to us. It's not a big deal, right? Let me clarify for the seventh time during this episode. It's okay for you to get stressed. It's okay for you to get heightened, it's okay for you to be in fight or flight. But the longer you sit there and have it go off rogue, unchecked, and you don't bring it back in, the more you're creating that frantic, rogue, frazzled energy in your every single day reality. Like people talking to frantic and people talking too frazzled, and recruiting in friends that are dysregulated and like they're not your vibe. Having a dysregulated husband that can't stay an emotional balance, having your kids be dysregulated, right? Like frantic, frazzled situations you're recruiting in within your career and your jobs and your coworkers and your wealth and taxes not coming back and all this sort of stuff. All of that's a mirror to how you were feeling inside and your inability to take yourself out of fight or flight in a timely manner. So the longer it goes unchecked, the louder your recruitments are of your every single day reality. So that's why if you could focus on any skill set, this would be the skill set because your emotional state, your emotional mastery, your emotional regulation directly, directly connects to what your reality looks like. And again, it's not your fault. People have not talked about this. This is a totally untapped field. Emotional health is a totally untapped field that barely anyone gets it right. So start reflecting on that. If you guys want additional resources, we have an entire nervous system mini-series sitting on our website. We have a lot of these mini-series, which are five to 10 minute videos, about six of them, explaining a topic. And I have one specifically on the nervous system. We have some on emotions. We have previous podcasts on emotions, a lot, a lot, a lot of previous webinars on emotions. If you're sitting there going, well, how do I take myself out of fight or flight? We have a whole webinar on that. So let us know. Email in at support at our wholefamilyhealth.com and we will give you the links. We will intuit the correct links for you, what's going to resonate the most with you, where you're at within your journey, what you need to hear at the right time. We do all this coordinating with your higher self to make sure that you are the most supported. Don't just stop here with the support on this podcast. There is so much more out there that you can get your hands on and gain a full understanding of how this can truly transform your entire life and your children's life and your husband's life and everybody else you're in contact with. This is truly game changing. Okay. So as you go along with your week, and as we head into the weekend, think of this precious dog that we were watching and how he completely embodied the curiosity, right? He didn't turn his senses off, he wasn't numb, but he didn't react. He paused. He was curious. He wasn't frantic, he wasn't frazzled. He was able to sit in the flow of what the surrounding environment needed him to do, which is barely nothing. Okay. This sweet guy sat on our couch, laid on our bed, and got real used to the kids giving him way too many kisses and love and all of that. He was into it. But see, like, where are you on that? Are you that way or do we have some work to do in this? Which hint we all have work to do in this. But let us know again, think of this pup as you're going throughout this week and let me know what questions you have. We'll have a live QA on this topic. So make sure to get on our email list. Make sure to email in if you have any additional questions. And also you can look forward to all the links, the times, the places, every ounce of detail you'll need will be in our Sunday newsletter. So make sure to hop on that as well. Okay, we will see you guys later. I hope you guys have a fabulous rest of your day, evenings, and night. And we will chat very, very soon.