The Sunday Habit That Will Change Your Family

You probably have a plan for your business.

Do you have one for your family?

In this episode, Whitney Sewell builds on a conversation with Larry Hagner to introduce the General's Tent - a weekly planning rhythm that helps men lead their homes with clarity and purpose instead of constantly reacting.

You'll discover why intentional planning builds confidence and security for your family, how one protected block of time each week can transform your leadership, and why faithful fatherhood doesn't happen by accident.

If you want to become more proactive as a husband and father, this episode offers a simple habit that can change the way you lead at home.

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Transcript

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Most men have a plan for their business. You know, they would never walk into a Monday without some sense of direction. But ask that same man when he last sat down and intentionally planned his week at home, his marriage, his kids, his own health, and you'll often get a long pause. It's not that we don't care, we do, but we've been trained to build systems that work and wing it everywhere else. I had a conversation recently with Larry Hagner, founder of The Dad Edge. And one of the most thoughtful, you know, voices on fatherhood I've come across, you know, Larry has spent over a decade coaching men to lead well at home. And something he shared in that conversation, you know, it just changed the way I'm thinking about some of the weekly planning. He called it the general's tent. It's a simple ritual that has reshaped how he leads his family. And I believe it can do the same for you. Most of us are reactive fathers and reactive husbands. Not because we're bad men, but because we never built a structure to be anything else. We plan what we measure. And most of us aren't measuring what matters most. Think about it. You probably know your revenue numbers, you know your pipeline, you know your team's priorities for that week. But do you know what three things you're going to do for your marriage this week? Do you know which kid you're going to carve out time for and win? If their answer is, you know, I'll figure it out as I go, you know, that's not a plan. That's hope. And hope without structure is not a leadership strategy. Proverbs 21:5 says, the plans of the diligent lead to profit, but haste leads to poverty. That's not just a business first, that's a life principle. Diligence at home produces fruit at home. But if we're always reacting, you know, always in a hurry, we keep finding ourselves behind. The weeks slip by, you know, the kids get older, and we wonder why we feel disconnected from the people who matter most. Larry described this practice in our conversation, and the simplicity of it is what makes it powerful. Every Sunday he sits down, you know, at his whiteboard and he calls it his general's tent and he plans his week across five areas, not just work, all of it. The five areas, you know, are marriage, kids, business, vitality, and joy. For each one, he writes three specific intentional actions he's going to take that week, not vague goals, actual things, a date night plan, Lego time with his nine-year-old on Wednesday, a workout with his oldest son, three business priorities, something that refuels him personally. But here's the piece you know that stood out to me most. Before he plans his, you know, plans the week ahead. Larry does an after-action review. He looks back, you know, at the previous week and asks, where did I show up well? Where did I drop the ball? What did I say I was going to do that I didn't follow through on? That kind of honest assessment takes courage. It's easy to plan forward. It's harder to hold yourself accountable to last week's plan before you build a new one. Deuteronomy 6.7 gives us a picture of what intentional fatherhood looks like. God tells fathers to talk about his ways at home, on the road, when they lie down and when they rise. That's not occasional. That's a rhythm woven into daily life. The general's tent is that kind of rhythm. It's structured, consistent, and built on purpose. When you plan for your kids, they feel it. Even if they can't name it. There's a difference between a dad who says, you know, we should hang out sometime, and a dad who shows up on Wednesday for Lego night because it was in his calendar. They remember that Wednesday. Larry shared something in our conversation that I want every man to hear. He pointed out that 80% of your one-on-one time with your kids is gone by the time they're 12. After that, they're social, they're busy, you know, they they have their own lives forming. The window you have right now with the young ones who will still stop everything and just drop everything to hang out with you is shorter than you think. When you plan, you know, for your wife, something else happens too. You know, she stops competing with your calendar. She stops wondering if she's going to get what's left over. You know, when a woman knows her husband is, he's actually thought about her this week, you know, not just in theory, but specifically, it builds a kind of security that no amount of good intentions can create. I want to address something directly because I know what some of you are thinking, you know, you don't have time for a Sunday planning ritual. You're already stretched in. You know, another, you know, commitment sounds like another burden. But here's what Larry modeled that I think is actually the more you know challenging idea. He protects a six-hour block every Friday for his wife, Jessica. No clients, no exceptions. He told me that even when a significant business opportunity came up on a Friday, he turned it down. His assistant pushed back. But Larry held the line because if he breaks his own rules, what other rules is he willing to break? That's stewardship, not just of money, but of time, which may be the more precious resource. Psalm 127.2 says, It's useless to rise early and stay up late, laboring anxiously because God provides for those he loves. There's a trust embedded in protecting your family's time. It's an act of faith that says, I believe God can accomplish more in the hours I give him than I can manufacture by grinding through the hours I steal from my family. You don't need a whiteboard. You need a consistent practice and a willingness to lead yourself before you lead anyone else. Pick your day and protect it. Sunday works well because it sets the tone before the week begins. You know, block 30 to 45 minutes, not to catch up on email, just to plan and to lead. Use the five areas marriage, kids, business, vitality, joy. Write three specific doable actions for each one. Date night Thursday is an action. Be more present is not. Do the after action review first. Before you plan the week ahead, you know, look back at last week. Honestly, where did you follow through? Where did you fall short? That honesty is where growth actually lives. Put it somewhere visible. Larry uses a whiteboard he can see from his desk. You might use a journal, you know, a notes app or a legal pad. The notepad or how you do that, you know, it just doesn't matter. Visibility does what you see, you remember, what you remember, you pursue. Protect one sacred block. Beyond the planning ritual itself, identify one block of time each week that belongs entirely to your family. Guard it the way you would your most important client commitment because it is. The first lie that you're going to be pressing back on is that you don't need a system because you know you you already know your priorities. And when your priorities, you know, aren't written down and scheduled, they're just wishes, good intentions that just never became action. The second lie is that structure will make your family feel mechanical, and that's backwards. Structure creates the space for connection to happen consistently. Without it, chaos just fills the gap. The men who show up most freely for their families are often the men who plan to show up in the first place. Here's what I want to ask you to do. This Sunday, find 30 minutes. You don't have to overhaul your life this week. You just have to plan it. Because the men who lead their families well aren't the ones with the most time. They're the ones who treat the time they have as a gift. It actually is. Proverbs 16, 3 says, to commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established, not perfected, established. God doesn't ask for a flawless plan, he asks for a faithful one. Be that man. Plan your week, lead your home. Your family is worth it. And so is the legacy you're building one intentional Sunday at a time. If this episode has helped you, you'll see the value of planning your week with the same intentionality you bring to your work. Make sure you subscribe. I hope you never miss an episode. And if you know a husband or a dad who's been running on autopilot at home, share this with him. This one Sunday ritual might be exactly what he's been missing. Would you join the courageous man community and keep becoming the man God's shaping you to be? Let's take action. Let's be courageous.