Why Good Men Burn Out Doing Good Work with Kevin Thompson

What if the gift God gave you is the very thing you've been overlooking?

In this episode, Whitney Sewell sits down with Kevin Thompson, founder of the Impact and Legacy Collective and host of the Million Dollar Relationships podcast, for a conversation about purpose, relationships, and discovering the gifts God has uniquely entrusted to you.

Kevin shares how he went from running a successful business he dreaded to building a life centered on generosity, trust, and meaningful relationships. He explains why most men dismiss their greatest strengths because they come so naturally, the mindset shift that changed his business, and the practical habits that help him stay present as a husband and father of seven.

If you've ever wondered whether you're using your God-given gifts to their fullest, this conversation will challenge and encourage you.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

After so many years of having so many conversations with entrepreneurs at that level, I've I've come to realize that you know what? For one, uh, we are way more alike than we are different. And and the other thing is that we're all doing the best we can with what we've got.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Welcome to the Courageous Men Podcast, where we help Christian men follow God faithfully, love their families well, and build a legacy that lasts. And now your host, Whitney Sewell.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Kevin, welcome to the show. I'm honored to just get to have you on here and interview you. The more I've gotten to know you about me, and I just I know the listeners are gonna learn so much from you.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

Well, Whitney, I am honored to be here. And and I I just gotta say, man, I I just so appreciate you and and who you are and how you show up. And when you ask to do an interview for the podcast, I'm just like, yep, I'm all in. And so I've been I've been looking forward to this, Whitney.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Wow. Well, thank you. Yeah, thank you so much. I I know you have you spent your life learning how to build trust and steward relationships in ways that honor God and serves others, and and I I just I want to be able to dive into that and really how you how you got to that and how you even knew that that was the thing you wanted to pursue. And and uh, but I I know that uh uh you talk a lot about discovering God-given gifts, and uh, and I think that uh maybe that's something that a lot of men wrestle with, right? Uh and I I wondered for you, you know, growing up, did you always recognize that uh connecting people came naturally to you? Or, you know, did you only see that say, you know, looking back at many years later?

SPEAKER_02 1:46

Yeah, I did not see it at all growing up, Whitney. I was I was completely oblivious to it. And I was completely oblivious, even though I started really kind of starting to understand this whole idea around God-given gifts through somebody who became a mentor of mine, uh, Dan Sullivan of strategic coach, who he refers to it as unique ability and stuff. And uh and so I really started learning from him around this about 22, 23 years ago. But it wasn't until maybe, I don't know, maybe like 10, 11 years ago that I tied in my childhood experiences to like somebody to who helped me walk me through some stuff and like Kevin. After we were walking through it, this and and talk about my childhood, he said, Kevin said, Is it any wonder to you why you are such an amazing connector and conduit of trust for people now? I mean, look what happened in your childhood. And I'm like, Garrison, I never even would have put that together, yeah. So so yeah, I was completely oblivious to it for most of my life with me.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Wow, the conversation with a friend that that really helped bring that out.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Yeah, yeah. And because you know, when I was a kid, uh I grew up in this really small community and stuff. Um it's it's Darrington, Washington. And uh I grew up, you know, so I was born in that community. My dad and mom were well known in that community and stuff. It was a kind of small community where everybody did know each other, and all of my I mean, all the kids in my my school were like, I was friends with all of them because I just knew them all and stuff. And and uh in when I was in fourth grade, uh we ended up moving about an hour away because my dad was commuting an hour each way to work every day, and and we moved so dad could be closer to his work, and then we could get a couple more hours of time with him every day, you know. Um, but it was really interesting that the move, and and it was such a culture shock for me at, you know, in fourth grade, so I would have been what nine years old. It was such a culture shock to go from this environment where I knew everybody to where now I knew nobody, and not only that, I was the outsider, and and so it wasn't like I just fit in right away. And I was, you know, I I don't know, may just some of the stuff that happened just caused me to just like pull back. And so I had way more of a challenge building friendships in that environment and stuff. And I and of course, I took circumstances that took place to mean things, and like you know, and it and and it was I I came to believe some not good things about myself that I I wasn't likable or that I wasn't worthy or that I wasn't you know, just less than whatever. And and it wasn't until uh my dad passed away. My my dad got diagnosed with cancer at the end of my at the beginning of my ninth grade year, he passed away at the end of my tenth grade year. And uh you know what? That was like the that for a for a young kid of 15, 16 years old to watch your dad get sick and then just deteriorate to the point where his body will just no longer serve him, it's definitely a rough experience. And on the other hand, um I I had every conversation I ever wanted to have with my dad, I had. And so there is no regrets whatsoever that like all the hard conversation, even just talking with my dad about I don't want you to die, I want you to be here, and and and knowing that he was gonna die. And just and so yeah, on that, on that from that front, I mean, yeah, and no regrets because I got to have every conversation, there was nothing left unsaid there, you know. Right and and years later, you know, I'm getting a little bit sidetracked, but uh years later, when my mom passed away, uh, you know, completely unexpectedly, and dealing with that was a whole different thing because you know, there wasn't that long period. It was like we found out she was sick, three days later, she passed away. And uh, and so and but and she knew she had problems, but because of what we had gone through with my dad, and and now my brother and I were much older, she's like, I I don't want to burden the boys with this, so I'm not gonna tell them and stuff. And and I I and you know, and so I wouldn't say that one experience was better than the other. Uh, they were different experiences and it came with a whole unique thing. But after my dad passed away, my mom uh wanted me to go to private school. She wanted me to go to a Christian, a Christian school instead of the public school. And and I wasn't sold on it because you know, I did have some friends at public school and stuff, and I was playing basketball, and and and she's like, I already checked into it. They got a basketball team, so you can keep playing basketball. And uh and she was like, What I want you to do is this. She goes, I want you to go there for one quarter. You and your brother go there for one quarter, and if you absolutely hate the experience, then you can go back to public school and stuff. But I want you to try it for one quarter, and I'm like, okay, we'll try it. Whitney, it was such an amazing experience because one of my the neighbor kid that I grew up with and still good friends with to this day, my friend Scott, I've known him since I was in, gosh, since we moved to that town in fourth grade. So man, me and Scott are still friends to this day. Um, he went to that Christian school and his mom taught there. So him and his sister Kim went there. And then I found some other another two friends that were brother and sister from our church. They went to that school as well. And and the the school, I went from a public school of about 900 kids in my graduating class to in the private school. There were 16 kids in my graduating class. The entire high school had like 80 kids in the high school. Yeah. Much smaller. But because of Scott and Kim, and then my other two friends, they just started making all these introductions for me and my brother. And I fit in there so dargon well. And I just had I had such an amazing time at that school, my last two years of high school and stuff. In fact, I even took two girls to my senior prom and stuff. I mean, and two of like the best-looking girls in school, too, you know. And uh, and and it's like, it was like, man, I found my people again, you know. And and so it took, you know, like I said, I didn't put two or two together on this stuff until, like I said, like maybe 10 years ago, having that conversation with Garrison and talking about all this stuff. And then he goes, Well, Kev, is it any wonder that you do what you do now? And I'm like, wow, that totally makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

You know, that is so interesting how those experiences early on affect us lifelong. Uh, and but it's interesting too how you can now point back. Uh, because even a friend brought it out, but uh, you know, can you can look back and think and see how, wow, okay, this this happened, and this is why this happens now. Uh, I think it's hard for most of us to be able to point back to things like that uh and figure out why we think things that we do and why, because you even said, you know, like, hey, I I thought this about myself, but it wasn't until many years later that you could kind of break free from that type of thinking. Is that right? Yeah, totally, totally.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

And and now, you know, with what I do now, I've been I've been breaking through, like, I wanna just break through my own ways of thinking in order to do so. For example, I mean, you know, now uh I I serve I get to serve amazing entrepreneurs who are making such a big impact in this world, you know, entrepreneurs who are running million-dollar, multi-million, even billion-dollar companies and stuff. And if you would have told me 10 years ago that I would be serving those, well, much less, you know, in regular communication with entrepreneurs like that, much less serving them and having them be clients of mine, I would have not imagined that. And in fact, I mean, my goodness, I, you know, entrepreneurs running business at that level. I used to put them on a pedestal. Here's them, they're up here because they've accomplished so much more than I have, and here's me down here somewhere and stuff. And I would even feel a lot of times maybe anxious or uncomfortable or whatever in conversations with them because of what I would do is just automatically put them on this pedestal and stuff. And and yet now, after so many years of having so many conversations with entrepreneurs at that level, I've I've come to realize that you know what? For one, uh, we are way more alike than we are different. And and the other thing is that we're all doing the best we can with what we've got. You know, I I was talking with a retired general just two weeks ago and stuff. And I was him and John John, his name's John and we were talking, I was telling him about how you know I used to feel so uncomfortable talking with people like you because I used to put you on a pedestal and he's coming. Well, Kevin, he said, but you're just like me. And I'm like, yeah, I know that now, but I didn't know that then.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Yeah. So I just think it's good for all of us to hear that. Because I think we all like tell ourselves things like that.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Yes, totally. I am so guilty of doing that, and and that's why I made the comment to you before we start, you know, recording that. This has definitely been a real season of personal growth for me. Um, and just just leaning in and just stepping into this role of you know, holding that role as that conduit of trust for these entrepreneurs that I'm just so blessed and honored to be serving and that I just have so much admiration and respect for.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Yeah, no. Well, that's incredible. I love that you're still like pushing into personal growth. Maybe we can come back to that in just a moment. Uh and uh I wanted to ask you, you know, I know I think you say, you know, like uh every man has uh uh God-given gifts. And maybe you could just elaborate on what that means, you know, when you say that. Uh and obviously I want to help some men to think through that, including myself, like thinking through, you know, our God-given gifts. What does that mean when you say that?

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Yeah. So for me personally, as unique ability that we all have, you know, and and unfortunately, so many of us, we just kind of brush it off as like nothing special because oh, anybody could do that, you know. And and and that's not true. Anybody can't do that. It's it's we can do that because it's our God-given gift. And oftentimes it gets overlooked because we just think like, oh, that's no big deal, you know. So, so for example, my God-given gift, I loved. I mean, and I even when I was in high school, you know, I loved having conversations with my friends and just getting to know who they were and what they were all about, and just getting to know them. And and like now, man, when I get to talk with entrepreneurs, I'm in hog heaven with me. I love talking with entrepreneurs. I love finding out what they're working on, what's got them jazzed and inspired. I love hearing what challenges they're dealing with and what problems they've been they're dealing with. Uh, what what what opportunities that they want to take advantage of that they might not have all the clarity they need around that and stuff, you know, and and what their vision is for their future, you know, both personally and professionally. And and and whenever I'm having conversations, I just naturally default to who do I know that might be able to help them with whatever it is that they're telling me about right now. And so I I just kind of have this memory that just it just worked. And I like the the person that might come to mind, it could be somebody that you know that I know really well and that I'm in regular communication with. It might also be somebody that I know of, and maybe, maybe I was really close with them in a season in my life, but I'm not so much close with them now. And the last time I talked to them was like five, six years ago. And and even if they're in that place, when it comes to me, all right, and whoever I'm talking to, I'm like, you know what? Okay, Wendy, I need to connect you with Jim, but man, you know what? I haven't talked to a chimney in quite a while. It's probably been like four or five years. Let me reach out to him, see if I come in. Yo, I just I just did that with uh a couple months ago with this guy, Hal Embroide. Uh, I've known Hal for a period of time. I've known Hal for probably 11, 12 years now. But I had not, I have not talked with him in like five or six years, you know. And and so I was talking with somebody, I'm like, I need to connect you with Hal, but man, I haven't talked with Hal in a long time. I was like, so let me reach, I got his cell number, let me just text and see if I even still got a good number for him, you know. And and I said, and then I'll let you know what I find out, and if it makes sense, I'll get you guys introduced. And so I send text message to Hal, and like not even 10 minutes later, he's like, Kev, man, so great to hear from you. And and yes, you know, I'm well, what are you thinking? Who are you thinking about? And I told him, and he's like, Oh man, I'd love to be connected. And and so I have that kind of a gift, and and people might, you know, I I've told people about that, and they're like, oh man, Kev, it makes my head hurt to think about doing that. I there's no way I could do that. My brain doesn't work like that at all. And I'm like, well, of course it doesn't. That's not your gift, it's mine, you know. And uh, and so, but but even at that, for a long, long time, I had no idea the real value of my gift and who I could really serve with that. I mean, that took that took some time to figure that out. It took some time to just really come into it and develop it. And and and even today, I mean, heck, I'll be I'll be uh 61 years old in three more days. And and Whitney, I feel like I'm just now really starting to figure stuff out again.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Happy birthday to you. That's that's incredible. Uh, but you know, how when uh when was the timeline of you figuring this out versus um, you know, I know let's say uh a darkest point that are a dark time for you. Uh I know around 2019 we're gonna talk about uh when what's the timeline of when you were figuring this out versus you know the 2019 time.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Okay, so I really started making some traction with this in 2017. Uh so in the spring of 2017, I was talking with a good friend of mine who was a very successful entrepreneur. And when we're kind of finishing up our conversation, he kind of asked me, say, Kevin, say, why have you never held an in-person get-together for some of these amazing entrepreneurs that you know? And I'm like, I don't know, Tim. I guess I've just never thought about it. And he's like, Well, I would challenge you, give some serious thought to that and just pray about that and see how that lands. Uh, because if you did something like that, I would totally want to be a part of it. And I'm like, wait a minute. So I live here in Arlington, Washington, up north of, I mean, you you can't get hard. I'm I'm an hour from Canada. You can't hardly get more northwest than the United States. I am all the way up here. He was in Tampa, Florida. And uh, so he's all the way across the country. And I'm like, Tim, are you telling me if I were to host an event and did it here in my home, you would fly all the way across the country and you would invest your time and your money and and and whatever investment I asked for, you you would tend that. And I'm and he's like, absolutely. I'm like, why would you do that? And he said, Because I know the kind of people that you attract, and they're the kind of people that I want to meet. And I'm like, wow. And so um I man, the I I couldn't sleep that night because I'm just thinking, like, yeah, I'm thinking, like, wow, if you did this, who would you want to invite? You know, and in fact, the next morning I got up early and I came right here to my desk and I started going through all my contacts and I started making a list of like, well, who would you want to invite, you know? And and that kicked things off. And I and and so I just start talking to people. And over the next two days, I spoke with six people, three people each day that I ended up talking to about it. And I said, I'm just trying, I'm just getting some, you know, working on getting some clarity around this, but here's what I'm thinking. I want to host an event at my home, and the whole thing is just to make, you know, make introductions for you and the other attendees, and just and just the kind of introductions, the kind of connections that are just real and meaningful and will help you expand your business and make a bigger impact. And and the first six guys I spoke with, I was six for six. They all said, Kev, if you do this, I'm there. And I was just like, wow, I Lendy, I couldn't remember the last time I was six for six on anything ever. And so, long story short, uh, we we held the first event in August of 2017, a two and a half-day event right here at my home. Uh, we held another one one month later in September, and we had 15 entrepreneurs who flew in for the August event, and 14 who flew in for September. And uh one guy couldn't make at the last minute, but he didn't ask for a refund. He's like, Kevin, I don't want a refund or nothing. This is totally on me. I can't make it, but um, I wish you the best with the event. And then from the event, I mean, I won't go into a ton of detail because I want to make sure we address what you want to talk about, but um, it was as that first day at that event, I remember being so excited, so nervous at the same time, because I'm like, wow, look who's sitting in my living room right now. And at the same time, I'm like, God, please let this be valuable for them. And uh, but it was incredibly valuable for them because at the end, I just I made a very simple offer. I just said, hey, if you uh made some great connections here that you believe are gonna help grow your business and stuff, uh, I would be totally honored to ride with you for the next year and just we could be more intentional about this and I could start doing more of this for you. And what I would like is I would like $25,000 for my role in that for a one-year engagement. And six of the 15 people said yes to that. Um one month later, in September, six of the 14 people said yes to that offer. So just like that, in a 30-day period, I had 12 clients who invested $25,000 with me. And I I will not, I mean, we were off to the races, um, but like my daughter always said, it's it's not always rainbows and unicorns, you know. So there was a lot of great things that came from that. Uh, I was we were we were hitting home runs with uh some of the clients, and we were hitting, you know, base hits and and maybe second base hits with other clients. And and uh over the next two years, between 2017 and 2019, uh a total of 29 people had said yes to that offer. And so I was working with 20. People. I was having one-on-one calls at least once a month with all 29 of those people and stuff. And just the way that I had set it up by 2019, uh, Whitney, I was candidly, I was hating life. I was hating life. I felt like I was letting people down, uh, that I wasn't serving them to the best of my ability. And but I didn't know what to do to serve them the way I really wanted to serve them, you know. And all of these entrepreneurs, they were pretty much all friends who already knew me. And so the idea of feeling like I'm letting them down, man, that didn't sit well. And at the same time, I didn't want to talk to them about it because I didn't want them to feel like I like wasn't believer. I mean, this whole push and pull thing going on. And and and I also I was like, man, I I don't want to take on another client. I and I guess I'm not gonna take on any more clients because I I can't even serve the ones that I'm doing. I'm like running myself ragged trying to do this, you know. And and I remember being on a flight home from Dallas in September of 2019, wishing that the plane would just crash because at least my wife would have the insurance money. That's how bad it had gotten, and how just the story that I was telling myself about everything that was going on, and how I felt like I was letting my friends down, and and just that and and not couldn't bring on more clients because I didn't have bandwidth. I was in fact what to do about it. So, yeah, that was an incredibly dark spot.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Wow, yeah, so no doubt, darkest or I had a very dark spot there. Um, but you you also knew that God had given you a gift, right? You know, how did you uh let's work through that dark season? You know, how did you figure out that okay, I know this is a gift that the Lord has given me? Um, but wow, this just I you know you were on fire, right? You were moving forward, signing up all these people, it was going so well, but now that just really pivoted, it sounds like, right? Uh and wasn't what you thought it was gonna be. How did you move forward? You know, what did that look like? Uh and even as you and your your wife are walking through that together, maybe you can shed some light on what that looked like to do that together.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

Well, so um one of my clients, I I finally just broke down and just started sharing with them. And and I told them how now he uh he was some he was one of my clients that I was hitting home runs with and stuff. And uh, but I told him, I said, you know what, I say you and a couple others are the outliers. The majority of folks, I don't feel like I'm delivering like I am for you at all, you know. And I say, but I want to, but I and I, but I've got, and and he's like, Kev, he's like, from what I can see, you're just using a business model that's not in alignment for you. And he's like candidly, he's like, it's not in alignment what with what brought us in in the first place. I'm like, so what do you mean? And he's like, well, he's like, what brought us in was coming to your home and you just hosting and just being you and just doing you, and and you were just so excited to have everybody there, and you curate amazing people. And he's like, and and you once you get them in the room, and then you now, now that we're all under your umbrella, you do two things. You you hold the space for everybody, and then you give structure to that. You use it, you spend time at the beginning of that event setting the context, letting everybody out know who's in the room, and setting the context for what was about to happen over the next couple of days. And he's like, but yet now, he's like, look at what model you're using now. He's like, you're not getting anybody together. He's like, you're just having one-on-one conversations with everybody, and yeah, with me, it's working, and you're making connections for me and stuff, but you're not doing what brought us all to start with. And I'm like, holy cow! And he's and so he's like, you know, so how can you go about restructuring or recreating something like you know, either do more live events or maybe there's other options and stuff. And and it really so that was in that was probably in October, November of 2019 when him and I had that conversation. And then COVID hit just a couple months later, in what March of 2020. Yeah, so like three months later. And now all of a sudden, in fact, I had an event scheduled for that March, for March of 2020 that did not take place because of COVID and stuff. And so what I did was like, well, I'm just like, man, everything was shut down, all the masterminds were shut down, even the masterminds that I was part of were shut down and stuff. And I was like, I'm gonna start getting, I'm gonna invite my entrepreneur friends to start doing some stuff on Zoom here. And so I just started inviting friends, like six, seven, one of them at a time. So let's let's hop on Zoom at this day and this time, and I'm just gonna bring you guys all together. We're just gonna, and and people started getting so much value from that. And they they started telling me, Kev, if you do this on a regular basis, I would totally invest time and money into this. And so we ended up launching a community. Uh, I called it Tribe for Leaders to start with. Uh, and and within two months, March and April of 2020, 54 people signed up for that community. And I ended up capping it at 54 because I'm like, I gotta figure out what I'm gonna do and how I'm gonna structure and handle this. So it was it was that discovery of like I was just using a model that wasn't in alignment, a lot and it didn't allow me to just show up and be me and just do what I do so naturally and so organically that I love doing that. Now we've now structured it. And I to this day, I admit I host Zoom calls all the time, Whitney. I mean, I even I don't know how many. I bet I'm pushing 500 Zoom calls that I've now hosted like that, bringing entrepreneurs together and stuff. And uh and I love it, never gets old. You think 500? Yeah, that's a lot. If you know somebody thinks that they're that they're not into that kind of thing, like, oh, I would never want to do that. That would sound really painful. 500 of them? Are you kidding me? Nah, man, I love doing it. I got another one tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. Pacific time, and I am stoked to get on that call with those entrepreneurs I've invited to be there.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

That's awesome. What do you think God was teaching you during that time, you know, 2019-ish?

SPEAKER_02 29:32

I think the big lesson he was teaching me is once again that, like, you know, when we are using and working in our God-given gifts and unique abilities, uh, that it's not meant to be difficult. I mean, that is the gifts that he gave us because that's what he knew we would be good at and stuff. And when we just focus on that, and you know, now my focus is really simple. I'm just like, I just want to become as effective as possible at doing what I do and being a good steward of relationships and revenue and all of that stuff, you know, because you know, we also know that the better steward we are, the more we're given to be a steward of. And it's it's not that it's ours that we've been blessed with. We're the steward of the money and the revenue that we've been blessed with, you know. And uh, and none of it belongs to us. It's it's it's all of God's.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

That's right. That's right. Speak to uh how I you mentioned like this club, yeah, there's actually a couple instances there where a friend like spoke into the situation, right? Uh and and it kind of stirred different thoughts or different thinking. And you know, how can you know the men listening say, you know, build friendships like that that are gonna sharpen them, you know, say, you know, instead of just building friendships of people who disagree with them, right? You know, how can how did you how would you speak into somebody listening that says, you know what, I don't have any friends that are gonna just tell me like that, or that I could share hard times like that with?

SPEAKER_02 31:03

Well, the way you get friends who show up for you that way is you start by being the friend who shows up for them that way. And and the simplest, easiest way to do that. I mean, my guess, I'll I'll I'll just, you know, we we've all got these things called a cell phone, as this little computer in our pocket, and we've got tons of contacts in there. You know, that could be family, it could be friends, it could be business associates. And, you know, the thing is like some, you know, I call it active appreciation because here's the thing. There's the no matter who it is, no matter no matter how successful somebody appears, no matter how great things look from the outside looking in, uh, there is not a person on the face of this earth that gets too much appreciation. We all crave more genuine appreciation. And so, you know, what I want to challenge each of you to do is just send text messages to 10 people that are in your contacts, and it doesn't matter whether it's family, friends, business, associates, and what you're gonna do in that text message is you're gonna let the each step of those people know one thing that you genuinely appreciate about them and just acknowledge them and just say, Hey, I really appreciate you because whatever. And you send those messages and and you don't do anything else, uh, you don't ask for anything in return, and you just watch what happens. And you are gonna be like, wow, what an amazing experience that was. And you're also gonna realize that your own actions were the catalyst for that experience, and that you can create more of that experience just by being you and sh being genuinely appreciative of other people and stuff. I mean, Wendy, you you and I, you reached out to me, I don't know, a couple months ago and and asked me to come on this podcast and stuff. And I was like, of course. And so I scheduled it and and uh and then, but even today, when we got on before we started recording and stuff, we were like, man, you know, it's been a long time since we talked. And then, yeah, we're doing this podcast interview today, but man, I want to have a deeper conversation, and and so we already made plans to set that in motion and stuff, and it was so simple, so easy. And it's and like heck, Whitney, I'm looking forward to having that conversation with you too, and stuff, you know. And the thing is, this stuff is so easy, but we gotta we gotta take the first step. We gotta be that friend that other people want to be that friend back to and stuff. And and and when we start, so now you know, you're gonna have this experience when you s when you be actively and genuinely appreciative of other people because when you show up that way for them, they just want to respond to you because they like the way that they feel when they're in our presence and stuff. And so now when we make time to catch up with them and have a conversation, here's the thing, because then people are like especially entrepreneurs, and they find themselves in networking situations and that you know it's whether it's a two-day event they're attending, or whether it's a dinner social, or whether it's an evening social for a couple hours, you know, uh, so many entrepreneurs feel like, oh, well, it's a limited time, no matter what the length of time is. It's a limited time. So I gotta make, hey, well, the sun's shine, and I talk to as many people as I can and pass out business cards and collect business cards, and then when they get home later, they're like, man, who are all these? I don't remember a single person. Because you know why? They didn't connect with nobody. That's right. They just get out. And a better thing would be was just go, you know, if I if I go to a two or three-day event, if I can have five or six meaningful conversations over those two to three days and make a real connection with somebody, man, that's a huge win. That's a huge win, you know. And so I'm not looking to talk with everybody. I just go into everything going, you know, I'm gonna have some meaningful conversation with just a small group of people that I'm gonna really connect with, you know. And and the way we connect with people is not talking about ourselves, not talking about our business, not feeling like we need to carry the conversation. That's what makes this thing so beautiful, is all we gotta do is ask questions and be genuinely interested when people respond to the questions that we ask. So, like one of the questions that I love asking, especially of entrepreneurs, is what are you working on right now that's got you totally jazz inspired? I'm gonna tell you right now, when you ask them that question, they're gonna start talking. They're gonna wait for somebody to ask that question. Yes, yes, yeah, and and when they start talking, so so many people, you know, when they do like do something like that and get them talking, now we're just waiting for our turn to talk, so I can talk about my business and what I do, and maybe I can, you know, and like, no, you're gonna listen to them, you're gonna actually hear them, and you're gonna ask more questions based on whatever it is that they're telling you. And and you know, and and it's this don't look at this as a strategic or a tactical thing. Just say, I I I just want to connect with people on a meaningful level. I want to create real, meaningful, long-lasting relationships. Well, this is how you do it. And well, what happens is, you know, so now you're not having to carry the conversation, and trust me, what's gonna happen is you're gonna just go this back and forth, and you start asking them questions, and they start sharing stuff, and you start asking more questions based on what they share. And then finally, they're gonna get to a point like, oh my gosh, Wendy, man, enough about me. I want to know about you. What are you working on? They're gonna want to know about you because what happens is when we show up this way, we give them this gift that they hardly ever get to receive, which is this gift of feeling seen, heard, and understood. And and when we give people that feeling, trust me, they want to hang out with us more.

SPEAKER_01 38:00

Yeah, I love that. Uh, I I feel like I have been on both sides of that as well. You know, where I feel like when I first started networking as hard as I could go, it was exactly what you said. Um I'm I'm paying to go to this event and all this time away from family, it was super costly. All yeah, you know, I gotta meet as many people as I possibly can, right? And take all the business cards, like you said, uh, and then and then get back. And it's like, oh my goodness, you know, I don't I don't think I met anyone, you know.

SPEAKER_03 38:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Um, and so it it's uh it's a struggle, I find. It's like, you know, adding to band, even you know, I was actually uh uh I was talking to somebody else about a similar thing the other day. And I said, even at church, you know, it's like I want to fight the urge to think I need to talk to as many people as I possibly can. You know, it's like I it's just focus on the person that the Lord has right in front of me right now. Yeah, yeah. You know, and care about them. And that's what you're doing, right? You're asking about them, you're caring about them, you're showing care. I love that. The the just it is it's just it's being super intentional, right? Because it's not normal.

SPEAKER_02 39:04

Yeah, you're right. It's not normal. And and and yet, you know, it's like we it we make such an impact on people when we show up that way because they're so not used to having that happen.

SPEAKER_01 39:21

Yeah. And I want to transition just a little bit here with the few minutes uh that we have left, uh, Kevin. I and I wonder, um, you know, as you've you've been connected to just amazing entrepreneurs and businessmen and women for many years now that are operating at very high levels, and and I love you know speaking to people like that because uh and I'm I'm guilty of this as well, where there's times where, man, I I'm so focused on the business, uh and you know, I've just got a vision for these things, I'm pursuing these things, and uh, and I can I can really in the moment feel like, you know what, I've got to go do this. This is the most important thing. And at the same time, let's say my my my wife, my kids are ultimately paying a big price, right? Uh, for me being gone, me being focused on this thing over here. And you know, there's been a number of times, you know, I'm like reeling myself back, right? And saying, wait a minute, you know, I gotta look back at the calendar, and you know, are the most important things actually most important? Am I, you know, majoring on the majors and and how am I doing there? And so I wonder for you, uh, and maybe there's even examples of others, uh, but uh, you know, how have you kept the the right rhythms and and priorities aligned, you know, even through sys through seasons of ups and downs in in business?

SPEAKER_02 40:38

Yeah, you know, um, as you know, you know, I'm a I'm a uh I'm a husband, I'm a I'm a father to seven kids, uh, and now as of 14 weeks ago, uh grandpa to nine grandkids and stuff. And um, you know, it's and especially like, you know, it's it's so interesting because I'll find myself in in conversations with entrepreneurs about this topic, uh, and and it's like they'll look at me and be like, wow, Kevin, you sure do have it all together. And I'm thinking, I look at other people and like they inspire me, and I'm feeling like, man, I I I got so much more that I could get it together. But uh, you know, I I I it has been uh important to me that, you know, I mean, well, 22 years ago when I first started learning from Dan Sullivan and stuff, and and really starting to get because I I had my very first business that I started in 1995 was a cleaning and restoration, carpet cleaning and restoration business. And and that business grew, but it also grew to the point where I was working seven days a week, and and uh man, I I mean, I and and so I I definitely I got to this point where I'm like, wow, this business that I've created, while it might be profitable, it's like I do not I I'm not enjoying this at all, and I do not want to be working seven days a week, and and so the for for the first time ever, I took out a piece of paper sitting on my desk in my office, and I'm like, well, what do you want from a business? You know, and and I just started making that list. And and you know, I I I didn't want to work weekends, and I wanted to be able to have you know time for my family and stuff, and I wanted, you know, these other things, and so so now, you know, I started focusing on that like 22 years ago, and and so today I've done a pretty good job of it. I mean, I and I've I think that in fact there absolutely is always room for improvement, but um, I have been focused that I don't want to just be that husband and father who provides financially for his family, but is not there and present physically for his family and stuff. Because there's lots of entrepreneurs that do that, yeah. And and candidly, I know entrepreneurs that do that because you know what? They don't know how to be a husband and a father, and so they just work so they don't have to figure out how to be a husband and father because they do know how to do the work, yeah. Yeah, and and they just say, Well, I'm providing financially, so that's my role, you know. Yeah, and and and we all have had friends that have passed away and and that didn't have relationships, didn't have a relationship with their spouse, maybe they're even divorced by that point, didn't have relationships with their kids, their kids were estranged from them and and all of that. And and I'm gonna tell you, you know, being a husband, being a father, it is it is not for the weak, man, because uh, you know, raising kids, I mean, that that's a job. And it and it's also it's a job, man. I wouldn't trade it for nothing. You know, I would not trade it for nothing. We are the and yeah, and but it it is it's it's it's making that decision that I'm not just gonna be the person who provides financially for my family, but I'm gonna be that person that is present for them and stuff too. You know, that's gonna be there and and be there for those, you know. So, like now, my my typical work day, uh, I work from home. Uh I'll I'll get up about five in the morning. I'm usually in my home office here by 5 30. Uh during the summer the schedule's different right now, but during the school year, uh I I wake my first child up at 620 to start getting them ready for school and stuff. And so from 620 to 8 o'clock, I'm getting kids ready, fed and up and ready for school. And I got one daughter that I take to school. And although now she's driving, so I'm probably not going to be taking her to school anymore. You know. Now you're pregnant during that path. Right. And plus he's driving. Yeah. And uh and so then, you know, I'm back home from all that about uh eight o'clock. So then I just have breakfast with my wife and coffee or whatever, and we sit and talk for a while. Then I'm usually back in her office around nine. My first call doesn't ever hardly start until 10 a.m. So I've got calls between 10 and noon, rate for lunch from noon to one, then have more calls and whatever from one to three, and then I'm done at three because that's when the kids get home from school and stuff. And uh and that's my typical schedule. Monday through Thursday, on Fridays, uh, I'll a lot of times a couple, well, a couple of times a month on Fridays, I'll host a Zoom get together that I call a virtual round table for for entrepreneurs and stuff. So I got one tomorrow. Uh, it'll be at 10 a.m. We'll be done by 12:30. And then I will just call it a day uh tomorrow when we're done with the round table. And on Fridays that we don't have a round table, I just take the Friday off and make it a three-day weekend. And so that's that's my regular work week now. And and that's just I've just put that structure into place because that works for me. You know, I'm not saying that everybody's got to do that, but that schedule works for me and it allows me to be the entrepreneur I want to be while also being the husband and the father that I want to be. And yes, I do absolutely say no to entrepreneurial opportunities because if it if it if it's not in alignment with all of what I've set in place. So like somebody wants to have a conversation on a Saturday, nope, that's not gonna work. What's the next weekday that works for you and stuff? And we'll just do it on a weekday, you know.

SPEAKER_01 46:29

I love the structure, the discipline that you've put behind that. Because I in there, I heard, you know, I heard this time early in the morning, I heard this time, you know, where you're with your kids in the morning, even at breakfast, getting them ready, taking them to school. But then I even heard time with your wife after that, right? And then there's structured business time, there's structured lunch time, there's structured more meeting time. I mean, then at three o'clock, hey, I'm I'm with the kids, with the family. Even how disciplined you are about the weekends. And uh, that's so difficult for most of us, right? And me too, at times I'm guilty. Um, you know, where I'll I find myself losing that structure and having to push myself back to wait a minute, I've got to draw that line there. Like you just said, hey, there's opportunities, you know, you think there are opportunities in the moment that you can't pass up, but my goodness, you cannot get the time back uh with your with your family, right? I so thanks for being willing to share that because I feel like that it seems so simple, but it's not. Yeah, yeah. Right? Must are not that structured. Okay, Code. Last question. You know, if everybody listening took one courageous step this week toward, let's say discovering or even stewarding that gift that God has given them, you know, what would that what would you challenge them to do? So one courageous step.

SPEAKER_02 47:41

Um, well definitely do that you know, the active appreciation challenge that I laid out for you. And you know, do that and you know, and and just start being reach out and just start being that friend that others want to have. And then you're gonna find that you're gonna get the same exact thing in return. You just start doing that, you know. And uh and I'll tell you, you know what? I you know, you do that exercise and then hit me up on Facebook. I'm you know, Kevin the Connector on Facebook and stuff. Uh, I'm far more active there than on LinkedIn. I I'm on LinkedIn, but I'm far more active on Facebook. Hit me up on there. Tell me about your experience and doing that active appreciation exercise, and I would be totally honored to you know have a deeper conversation with you if you'd like, and just find out more of uh what's going on in your world, what's going on in your business, and if there's a way that I can help support and just pour into you, I would totally be honored to do that. But you take the first step, do the active appreciation exercise so that you can reach out and tell me about your experience with it.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

Kevin, thank you so much for that challenge. Thank you for your transparency too, just through hard times and good times and even how you have I think majored on the majors. I mean like the big things, and what I mean by that is by how you've led at home as well, a husband, a father being present uh while uh still leading a business and and pushing hard with big goals. So thank you so much. Uh and I just love how you love the Lord through all that and just put him first. So uh and if there's any ways that the uh listeners can get in touch with you that you didn't already mention, uh please do so.

SPEAKER_02 49:25

Yeah. No, I mean that that's the quickest and easiest way. My email address is like really long, you know. But yeah, just hit me up on Facebook and tell me you heard, you know, heard of me, heard me on Whitney's podcast and and you did the active appreciation challenge. And and you know, I mean, that's the great way to connect and stuff. So awesome.

SPEAKER_01 49:44

That's the end of the show, Kevin. Thank you so much. Kevin Thompson is the founder of Impact and Legacy Collective and the host of the Million Dollar Relationships Podcast. Over the course of his career, he's generated more than 16 million dollars in revenue through one thing. That's high trust relationships. After building a million-dollar one-person business, Kevin discovered that his greatest gift wasn't simply building companies, it was helping people connect in ways that create lasting impact. His work is built on generosity, integrity, and trust before transactions. He often says he's a conduit of trust, helping entrepreneurs build meaningful relationships and world that's becoming increasingly digital and disconnected. But Kevin's story didn't begin with success. And in 2019, which you're gonna hear a lot about in this interview, he found himself at one of just the darkest seasons of his life and wrestling just with the reality that he knew, you know, God had given him a unique gift, but he didn't yet know how to use it. And through faithful friends and personal growth and God's guidance, you know, that season became the foundation for the work he's doing today. And today we're gonna talk uh about you know how every man has that God-given gift and how stewarding that gift can, you know, transform your leadership and your relationships and your legacy. You know, Kevin's gonna talk through uh a time where he's on an airplane wishing it would crash, to the some details that pivoted him uh and the ways the Lord moved him to where he is today, and even how through all of that and growing the business, he was present at home. And he was he he placed importance on being a great husband and father, and even to this day. Like you are gonna hear those things from him and learn so much. Hope you're encouraged.