Empathy Burnout

Transcript

Welcome And Why War Overwhelms

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Hello everyone, welcome back to He Out Lauasai. I hope you guys are doing very, very well out there in the world that we are living in. Things are kind of crazy right now with war and reasons why and what we should do about that in our lives. Um, because it can be overwhelming, you know, all the information, all the lies, all the all the things that come with war and all the suffering that comes from it. Because let's face it, war is hell, no matter who you are. Overall, though, I really hope you guys are taking care of yourselves, taking care of each other. Make sure you make some plans this summer, and you know, keep yourself grounded. But today, we are going to talk about something that I have dealt with before.

When The Caregiver Cracks

SPEAKER_00 2:14

The title of this episode that I originally wrote down was When the Caregiver Cracks, the cost of giving too much. Um, and sometimes in life we do give too much of ourselves, and you see it in different industries versus others, of course. In some of those industries, it comes with the territory, especially nursing. Because you know, I have family members that are in the hospital and medical industry, and I hear about this too from them. But we're gonna talk about that, and we got ourselves a great little song by an amazing band called Kill Switch Engage, but the song is called I Am Broken Too. So, usually there is a song that is different if you've ever carried the weight of someone else's suffering, and it's called I Am Broken Too. It's not about defeat, it's about connection, about being honest enough to say, I see your pain because I lived it too. Some people say that is advice or akin to you know nostalgia or projecting. But it's usually empathy, that raw, beautiful thing can quietly turn into burnout. And for a lot of us, that's where the crack starts showing.

The Science Of Empathy Burnout

SPEAKER_00 3:49

So there's actually a science behind empathy burnout. According to writer and mental health educator Jim Kirkman, empathy burnout happens when we constantly feel the pain and stress of others without the chance to recover. Our nervous system literally mirrors the distress of the people we care about. We absorb it through mirror neurons and the vagus nerve. I'm not going to try to tell you what a vagus nerve is, but it's in there, it's in your body. In other words, though, if your friend is anxious, your heart rate, your breathing, they start sinking up. Your brain is wiring for compassion is the same network that can quietly wear you down. A 2023 survey from the American Psychological Association found that 68% of caregivers in the U.S. reported experiencing emotional exhaustion, and nearly 40% felt symptoms of depression tied to caregiving fatigue. It's not because they don't care enough. It's because they care too much too often, and no pause for breath.

Music Break I Am Broken Too

SPEAKER_00 5:03

And with that, I'm gonna let you guys hear the song, and then we'll be back, and we will talk about that and ways to stop yourself from burning out.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

Because I love you, I'm gonna go to the house.

Solidarity Through Music And Donation

SPEAKER_00 6:31

And maybe it's time we do. But anyway, I really hope you that you enjoyed the song, and you actually check out the whole song after this. So the message behind the music. So Kill Switch Engage wrote I Am Broken To during a time of personal and emotional turmoil. Vocalist Jesse Leach described it as a conversation with someone close who was breaking down. A way to say that you're not alone in this. It's not pity, it's solidarity. It's what happens when empathy evolves from saving others to walking beside them. Because let's face it, we all need that, right? The song's proceeds even went to suicide prevention organization called Hope for the Day. A reminder that music itself can be medicine, connection made audible. And I gotta say that I never heard of this organization before, and I'm definitely going to check it out after I'm done working with this episode today. But I also want to remind you that you know there's other organizations out there that do help with suicide and depression. Even if it just helps you to talk to someone, do so.

Three Truths To Prevent Burnout

SPEAKER_00 7:47

But let's talk about some tips to help you stay hole while you help. The data tells us something powerful. Burnout is not a personal failure. I repeat, it is not a personal failure. It's a biological and social imbalance. Here are three grounding truths drawn from current research and lived experience. Boundaries preserve compassion. Studies show that helpers who set emotional limits are more effective long term. Their empathy has endurance in this way. Recovery is a requirement, not a luxury. Taking time alone, even 15 minutes a day, reduces empathy fatigue as much as some forms of mindfulness practice. Self-compassion isn't indulgence, it's maintenance. Kirkman calls it the most misunderstood tool for recovery. It's not about closing your heart, it's about keeping your heart from bleeding out. And that should be very important. Make sure that you take time for yourself. There's even another podcast called The Journey to Radiance. They actually call this generosity without self-abandonment. Giving freely without giving yourself away. From I'm helping because I want to to I can't stop helping even when I'm drowning. In relationships, at work, in advocacy, anywhere empathy lives, there's a risk of running dry. It's a cycle. You overgive, resent, collapse, repeat. But make sure that you want to set those boundaries. Recovery is a requirement, it's not a luxury, and self-compassion isn't indulgence, it's maintenance. Remember that.

Broken But Still Whole Enough

SPEAKER_00 9:48

And with that said, broken, but not alone. So if you feel one thing by the world, the things around you, if you've given everything and don't remember what's left, hear this. Being broken doesn't make you unworthy of rest. We can care deeply and still take care of ourselves. We can give and still keep what we need to survive. And we can be broken, but still whole enough to heal. Until then, take care of yourselves, take care of each other. Remember that broken can still be beautiful because broken still feels. And we will see you next time.

Hotlines And Final Encouragement

SPEAKER_00 10:37

And if you have any issues with the person, definitely call 988, Boys Town National Hotline, or hope for today. And with that said, I appreciate you guys for listening. I really, really appreciate it. I thank you much. So be safe out there. Take care of each other. Bye now.