Marriage Made in Heaven

From Roommates to Partners: How to Reconnect and Strengthen Your Marriage God’s Way

Joshua & Ali Spitsbergen Episode 23

If your marriage has started feeling more like roommates managing logistics than partners building a life together, this episode is your fresh start. You don’t need a crisis to begin again, you can reconnect, rebuild, and strengthen your marriage right now, God’s way.

Today, we’re walking you through the belief shift, the daily habits, and the simple changes that bring passion, connection, and purpose back into your marriage. You can absolutely have a do-over with the spouse you vowed to, and this episode shows you how.

What We Cover in Today’s Episode

• The Paradigm Shift That Restores Connection

Your marriage isn’t a distraction from your calling; it’s your greatest multiplier.
This single shift will realign your vision, your language, and the energy you bring into your home.

• Why “Starting Over” Has Nothing to Do with Divorce

Too many couples think renewal means ending things. But you can rebuild your marriage from the inside with new perspective, new intention, and new habits.

• The Roommate Trap

When conversations become transactions…When passion fades into patterns…
When you feel like co-managers instead of partners, that’s not a sign to give up. It’s a sign to recalibrate.

The 5 Practical Steps to Reconnect & Strengthen Your Marriage


1. Language Audit

Stop speaking death over your marriage (“you always,” “you never”) and start speaking life (“we are,” “we will,” “I appreciate”). Your words shape the atmosphere of your home.

2. Presence Over Performance

Give each other 15 minutes of full attention daily. Phones down. Eyes up.
Connection over accomplishment.

3. Vision Together

Ask: “What do we want our marriage to look like in one year? Five years?” A shared vision becomes a shared mission, and it reconnects you at a heart level.

4. Micro Gestures of Love

Small things done consistently become big results: a note, a text, a kiss that lasts longer than one second, making the coffee first, touching his shoulder as you walk by. Micro gestures fill the emotional bucket.

5. Weekly Check-Ins

Date nights aren’t a luxury, they’re a lifeline. Ask each other: “How are we doing?”
“What do you need more of from me right now?” These questions rebuild intimacy, trust, and understanding.

If You Feel Disconnected… You’re Not Alone

Most couples don’t fall apart because of one event; they drift from little things left unattended. The good news? Reconnection starts with just one intentional shift today.

Start here:

Take 15 minutes tonight to be fully present with your spouse.
No agenda. No distractions.
Just connection.

It’s amazing what God can rebuild when you give Him room to move.

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