Chad - Venetian gold

Spontaneous, unorganized, and unwilling to change: Chad’s back. 

Fresh off a cycling trip through Italy with Mama, he tells of tapping back into the importance of nurturing family relationships, how many croissants he ate each day, and the real dangers of jet lag.

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Copyright WunderMedia

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

It was bougie. And I'm wearing linen. I'm wearing Oh my god. I'm excessorizing.

SPEAKER_05 0:07

Oh, of course you are.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

I'm letting the Italians know what's up. I'm here. When you look at the night sky.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Be prepared to think and feel anything.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

There are no forbidden Have the courage to show not knowing what's out there. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_05 0:28

Okay, um, Chad. Uh tell us tell us hi and then your pronouns if desired. And three things about you.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Yes. My name is Chad. My real name's John. I go by he, him, his. And three things about myself are um very unorganized, um, but I thrive in unorganization, and I like the uh spontaneity that that brings, and so I'm unwilling to change.

SPEAKER_05 1:04

Good. I'm Chad, and I will not change or apologize. Yeah. Two, I love control.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

Uh two, I love riding bicycles.

SPEAKER_05 1:24

Powerful. Less is more on that list.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

I'm just gonna I'm not gonna say more.

SPEAKER_05 1:29

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

And three, I absolutely adore any opportunity to have deep conversations. Fun conversations, God, death, um, sex, uh, pee-pee photos. Great oh, I really wish I waited for you to say that.

SPEAKER_05 1:51

Pee-pee photos.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Pee-pee photos.

SPEAKER_05 1:53

It's like so deep.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

They well, they can be.

SPEAKER_05 1:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Yeah. It's the wizard, not the wand.

SPEAKER_05 2:00

Wow, right. Never heard that before.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

I made it up.

SPEAKER_05 2:04

Right now?

SPEAKER_02 2:04

No. Um, yeah, those are those are my three things.

SPEAKER_05 2:10

Um, thank you. And we see you have a new necklace. And I wanted to tell you congratulations on being five years sober.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Thank you so much, Mayor.

SPEAKER_05 2:19

It was a gift from your mom to celebrate. Yes, it was. And congrats.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Oh, thank you so much. Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03 2:25

Yeah, it's kind of crazy. I bet. Yeah. It's a long time. It's a trip. Not that many things I've done for five years. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:32

You know what's a trip? Being sober.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

Whoa.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:37

That's what I think.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

Yeah. It yeah, it is very fascinating. And yeah, it kind of comes in its own sort of like cycles with it. But when I just like look back at being in Bend five years ago and just how much has changed, it's just, yeah, fascinating.

SPEAKER_05 2:54

Would you say your life has changed like very much? Like super much?

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Super much. A lot much. Super much. Like even me being a here right now, like this would never have happened.

SPEAKER_05 3:07

Really? Did you?

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Five years ago, six years ago.

SPEAKER_05 3:10

Were you as fun to talk to five years ago?

SPEAKER_02 3:13

No, I was like pretty detached from myself spiritually, emotionally, and I was just like kind of always in this uh place of just like survival almost. Um, so I like withdrew a lot. I love to isolate. Um, I could like still turn it on. I was I I've always been pretty like charismatic and could talk to people, but my battery for that it was was way, way, way, way, way small.

SPEAKER_05 3:40

Dude, I can't even imagine.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

Yeah, I had to pull from the reserves often to just like do basic things. Yeah. Yeah. Like get the mail and just be perceived. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:51

And now your uh bandwidth is a lot higher.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

Much higher. Now I'm like feast your eyes. Oh, and we are. At all of this. Yeah, yeah. So much higher. So, so much higher. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:06

Cool.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:07

Okay. Um, do you have anything to say before we spill the win spin the wheel of wonder?

SPEAKER_02 4:12

Oh, let's spin. Okay. Spin it.

SPEAKER_05 4:14

Chad, take us.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

Here we go. Hopefully we can get some good ASMR for the uh for the people at home.

SPEAKER_05 4:21

For the video.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

Don't acknowledge them.

SPEAKER_05 4:24

Don't acknowledge them, right?

SPEAKER_02 4:27

Wonder scale is what it landed on.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

Alright. So wonder scale, one through ten. Wonders. You ready? I'm ready. Thighs. Flies? Thighs. Thighs.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

Two totally different quite. I'm going seven-five.

SPEAKER_04 4:50

What?

SPEAKER_02 4:51

I'm thighs.

SPEAKER_04 4:52

Why?

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Because it's up there, but I prefer the back side. I prefer a hamstring. That's what the kids are calling them these days. Look at the hamstrings on that.

SPEAKER_05 5:09

Are you being serious about the hams?

SPEAKER_01 5:11

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

SPEAKER_05 5:14

Okay. Any more thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 5:17

No.

SPEAKER_05 5:19

I like bicycles. And that's it. Wow, only seven five. What about you?

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Seven five on thighs.

SPEAKER_05 5:26

And now I'm questioning. Well, I guess for me, thighs includes the hams.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Oh. Oh. Doesn't it?

SPEAKER_05 5:32

A thigh. A thigh. You know, like you grab your whole thigh.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

That's I was thinking quads.

SPEAKER_05 5:39

No, we're not talking quads. We're talking the whole kick caboodle?

SPEAKER_02 5:42

The whole thigh. 360. 8'5. Okay. Plus one. Plus one.

SPEAKER_05 5:49

What would bring it to a 10?

SPEAKER_02 5:50

To a 10? Maybe like thighs after like you just you just ran.

SPEAKER_05 6:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:02

Tight hot.

SPEAKER_05 6:03

Tight?

SPEAKER_02 6:04

Sweat. Yeah, tight. Blood.

SPEAKER_05 6:07

As a bowstring. As a guitar string.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Like a guitar string. Yeah. Like after some like physical activity, just tough crowd.

SPEAKER_05 6:18

Okay, your turn.

SPEAKER_03 6:21

I think I'm eight and a half. Oh, you guys are.

SPEAKER_05 6:25

That's pretty high. I feel like that's pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 6:28

What's your feeling about thighs?

SPEAKER_05 6:30

I just love thighs and just the whole body in general. It's a ten. It's all a ten.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

Any body part is a ten? There's no differentiation. There's none you like better than others. I don't believe that. Come on now.

SPEAKER_05 6:43

I'll name like my top ten favorite body parts.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

How about top three?

SPEAKER_05 6:53

I can't do any less than ten.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

That's a good boundary.

SPEAKER_05 6:58

I really like thighs. I'm giving them a ten.

SPEAKER_03 7:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 7:01

But it's not something that I like think about ever.

SPEAKER_03 7:04

You're not lusting over the thighs.

SPEAKER_05 7:06

I mean, I lust over all kinds of things, so that's just one of them. Because it's part of a body, and so that's it. Okay, let's spin it again.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

I like it.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

Spin a yarn.

SPEAKER_05 7:24

Okay. We did this last time with you.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

Crazy one. Am I gonna spin it again? Because I can keep it over here.

SPEAKER_05 7:31

I don't know yet.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

Okay. Alright, spinning a yarn.

SPEAKER_05 7:36

Start. Do you remember?

SPEAKER_02 7:37

Uh-huh. And it's only one word? One word. Okay. The trouble with thighs is my obsession.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

Nay.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

Your You said Nay. Nay. Nay.

SPEAKER_05 8:01

My obsession. Nay. Nay.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Your Your Okay. Love.

SPEAKER_03 8:07

For remarkable.

SPEAKER_05 8:22

I just fucking grave.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

Thighs.

SPEAKER_05 8:32

I think I need to use it out there.

SPEAKER_03 8:40

Go off.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

Go off. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_05 8:47

Okay, one more spin. Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

You know you're in control of this. Big question.

SPEAKER_05 9:12

Finally, something like that. What is something important you've learned in the last year?

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Hmm.

SPEAKER_05 9:20

I'm ready.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Something important I learned in the last year. So much. This has been a significant year of growth. Um, but I think I'm gonna go with the one that's like most fresh on my mind. But um I was able to take a trip very last minute um to Italy with my mom for her 70th birthday. And my dad was supposed to go on it, but he's got this rare heart disease and it was acting up and he wasn't able to go, so I jumped in last minute. And it made me realize how and I hadn't taken a trip like that in my adulthood uh ever, I don't think. And you mean like with your parents or yeah, like with my with my mom, or just even like in general, like taking taking a big trip.

SPEAKER_05 10:09

Or like go leaving the country?

SPEAKER_02 10:11

Yeah, well, yeah, I at least in adulthood. Because like I grew up living internationally and had traveled a ton when I was with my parents. But I what I've learned was that how it is so important for me to, especially now that I'm like moved away and I'm away from my family, um, to continuously like really feed those relationships. And it is so crucial. Like I got to spend this unbelievable quality time with my mom, like as an adult now, and we've never had something like that. Um, whereas just her and I um and it just made me realize too that like I love this woman so much, and it's just like so wild to like see that how much like I've gotten from her, and then to have her now see me like as an adult and to like figure things out internationally and to like take on more of like the you know just like the stressors, you know, for her was was really cool for me to be able to show up that way. Um, and so and it made me realize that I'm like okay, I need to while I'm away, like really like nurture and feed relationship with my sister, my dad, my mom, family. Um, because life continues to go on. If you just like get caught up in the day-to-day tedium, it's like none of this shit matters. Really?

SPEAKER_05 11:26

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

And um, like I want to be present, like I want to be someone that I can that they can reach out to.

SPEAKER_05 11:33

So wow, that's a big one. That's a big deal.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 11:36

Um, what were the stressors that you talked about that you wanted to help them with?

SPEAKER_02 11:39

Yeah, I mean, just like traveling internationally, I feel like is there's always stuff that comes up, like navigating like public transport and like taking point on that, and just being like, all right, mom, we have to go here at this time. Um Logistics, logistics, just the logistics and like not being like a kid and just being like having it all taken care of for you, but like being like active and yeah, you know, helping figure it out and making game plans and yeah, I feel like that whole like having to build like a new relationship with your parents once you're an adult and not their kid who they're responsible for.

SPEAKER_03 12:12

Like I just feel like I did not appreciate that that was a thing that would happen.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:17

Like I feel like I didn't read it, like I didn't remember reading about it, like and I didn't really hear about that process from like my you know aunts and uncles that are my parents, right? It's like it wasn't like a like because I don't think you know, they had sort of mixed relationships with their parents, right? With my grandparents and stuff, and it was I mean it's a different era, right? But like I don't know that they ever like established like a close or like I don't know that it was like a thing as much to like establish a close relationship with your parents as an adult that's like a distinct, separate type of relationship from when you're a kid. People don't talk about it. I I don't think so. Yeah, and I'll and like I just didn't appreciate that that was a thing that was gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

Yeah, yeah. I've been yeah, it j it just kind of like blew my mind like it actually takes so much more effort. Totally something that's just like given to you early on, and now you realize that it's like something you actually have to like really put a lot of like care and attention into so that you don't just like always revert back to you know adolescent. It's so easy, it's like so easy to do. And it takes both of them, you know, both sides to do that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:29

Um when you were cycling with mommy from Venice to Florence, first of all, tell us about the trip.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Yeah, the trip was amazing. Also, right that's on my mind right now that I kind of need to get off my chest was um I just did something I do so I do weird things often. It's just kind of who I am.

SPEAKER_05 13:50

Yeah, we heard.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

See episode five for examples. Check the Ben Bulletin for my latest mug shot. Um but I had just gotten back from the trip. I was so jet-legged and I had to work that next morning. Oh no. And so I was like operating off of maybe an hour's sleep. Oh no. And I went into Lone Pine to grab a coffee, right? And then, of course, you know, who's sitting on the couch first thing in the morning? David. Okay, and David, he's like he's always on the couch, yeah. Always on the couch every morning without fail. The consistency. But um, he's like, dude, how was the trip? I was like, it was amazing. And he's like, Wow, dude, and your mom looks amazing for 70. And then I go, I go, yeah, man, I wish I could get a taste of that. And what I meant, what I meant to be like, was like, man, I hope I get that gene. Insane. And there's like other people that just kind of like just don't like see what I looked like. Like the who would say something like that, just like they just looked at me. And then instead of trying to like retrace it, I just like went and then just walked to the bar and was like, that was that's gonna take some time. And it's like still like I I literally I feel like I'm telling people this because it's so troubling, and then I'm like, it is really fucking funny. But I like uh it's like helps offload it.

SPEAKER_05 15:24

Spread it around.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need other people to hold this for me.

SPEAKER_05 15:28

How did David react?

SPEAKER_02 15:29

David went. Like, he just laughed, and then we just no nobody said anything. So bad. Oh my god. Yeah, I FaceTime my sister after she was like, bruh. Ew. Anyways, but yeah, the trip was spectacular. It was so great. We did like seven or eight days of pedaling. We did like anywhere from like 30 to 50 miles a day. Um and we would stay in these like Gran Turismos. Yeah and what is that villas and um you know, it was like all these old homes. We would stay in hotels and like inner like in cities, like in Florence, we were at this like really nice hotel with a massive rooftop bar that overlooked the Duomo. Oh my god. It was I love a rooftop bar. And I was like, I'm like so like, I don't know, don't have it like that. And I'm wearing linen. I'm wearing um oh my god, I'm accessorizing.

SPEAKER_05 16:39

Oh, of course you are.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

I'm letting the Italians know what's up. I'm here. Look at me.

SPEAKER_05 16:45

Did you get the necklace at the beginning of the trip? Yes, that was probably a release. I it well, thank goodness because it's elevated your status.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

Precisely.

SPEAKER_05 16:54

And I need yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

So I was really feeling myself, I'm like, I'm wearing Venetian gold. Oh, okay, I'm biking through Italy.

SPEAKER_05 17:06

With this doll who I can't wait.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

Oh she's a fox. She is, she is good looking, she's beautiful, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:20

Yeah, she's also a person, and so that's enough. Yeah, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

She likes being objectified. I tell I tell her, I'm like, oh my friends are like, Who's this MILF?

SPEAKER_05 17:29

And she's like, oh my god. What must that be like? 70 years old.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Yeah. Yeah, she's she's doing well. Um, but it was wild. Like we had so many deep talks about like her kind of process of getting older and like watching my dad get older and kind of yeah, just like things slowly slipping away, you know, and really feeling like at the end of your runway. Um, so we talked a lot about death, um which was uncomfortable, but also like it was really beautiful too. Um and yeah, we just talked about like um she was just like, This is so amazing to just like see you and your life and just like how you've kind of like grown into this like young man, and um yeah, yeah. So it was just it's just kind of all wild.

SPEAKER_05 18:19

Um that's really cool.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

Yeah, yeah. It was a it was an amazing trip.

SPEAKER_05 18:24

Um did you guys spend every single day together, or were there any we slept in the same room?

SPEAKER_02 18:28

Like we asked for twin beds because it was my dad was supposed to go, and so they had like last minute change up everything. Yeah, yeah. And so the twin bed was literally just like next, they're right next to each other, like little single beds. But yeah, we travel great together. Oh, that's terrific like no problems at all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:46

Did you find you needed any alone time either? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

Yeah, there was a lot of drink because we were with some of her friends, you know, and they made they made drinking look so attractive.

SPEAKER_04 18:57

Oh, I bet.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

Especially like you're in Italy, right? It's like it's so part of the thing.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

Yeah, we're starting dinners at 10, 11 at night. Yeah, you know, and with well, with this crowd, it was they were trying to start it much earlier, right? But it's and they but like the streets are just filled with like all some in some places, like all these young people, and they're all so good looking, and they're speaking Italian. Whoa, and I'm just like, yeah, I could do that. I I want I want some wine. Yeah, and then but I just know that's not how I roll. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so it was that was tough for me. So I spent like a lot of like the late evenings just like exploring by myself, talking to people, like introducing myself, and like meeting some like really cool people. Oh, cool.

SPEAKER_05 19:39

Um you just walked up to them?

SPEAKER_02 19:41

I would just like go up to them, or they would like talk to me, they would see that I was like trying to I was speaking like really broken Italian.

SPEAKER_05 19:47

Can you say something?

SPEAKER_02 19:48

Um uh one giano, io sono the uh United States. I can't remember, I can't remember how to say United States. Uh Io sono the United States. Um I'm from the United States. Um and what else would I say? Those are like some of like my go-to. Oh, um, I would I would ask for a cornetto and a cappuccino every day, four times a day. Wow, nice four times a day. I was going ham on the carbs.

SPEAKER_05 20:19

What's a cornato?

SPEAKER_02 20:21

Cornetto. Cornet. It's a croissant.

SPEAKER_05 20:23

Oh, very nice.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:25

You had a croissant four times a day?

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Probably more. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_05 20:29

Honestly, every stupid good.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Stupid good. Stupid good. I drank so much coffee and ate so many delicious treats. I would have like three entrees a night. Yeah, yeah, no, it was a great trip.

SPEAKER_05 20:42

You had three entrees a night?

SPEAKER_02 20:43

I would have a whole pizza. I would start off, I would start off with an entire pizza. And then I would go into my second. That was my extra. Yeah. And then I would go to my primo, my first course. Okay. And that would typically be like a light pasta. Yeah. And then primavera. Primavera. A bola. And then and then I would have like lamb or something like that. And then um dessert. Nice.

SPEAKER_05 21:15

What did you eat for dessert?

SPEAKER_02 21:17

Man, dessert.

SPEAKER_05 21:18

Tiramisu.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

I would I did have some tiramisu. Some of it was like really boozy, so I was like, Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, and there was a part of me I was like, nobody knows. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Um yeah, a lot of tiramisu, a lot of um uh I had a bunch of cannolis, and then just gelato. I just ate a lot of gelato.

SPEAKER_05 21:39

Yeah, so it was fun. I just got to like eat and you worked really hard every day. Yes. And you ate really hard.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

It's kind of like the best way to do Italy. It really is, yeah. Because you go through all these small, small little places that nobody it doesn't make sense to you know have any tourism in because it's so off the beaten path.

SPEAKER_03 21:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

You have to rent a car and do this. And so we're there, and the people are like, what the fuck are you doing here?

SPEAKER_05 22:02

They're not used to people like you guys.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

No, no. They're not used to yeah, people like me.

SPEAKER_05 22:09

This, all that, all that.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

They were like, Whoa, what is all that?

SPEAKER_05 22:13

He belongs in the Capitol.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

They say um, so yeah, yeah, it was no spectacular.

SPEAKER_05 22:21

So one more I have one more question for you. Do you have any?

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Go for it, go for it.

SPEAKER_05 22:25

I notice how people I've known for a long time keep surprising me. I ha I think I have them all figured out, but they then they tell me something about themselves that blows my mind. When you were with your mom, was there anything you learned about her that surprised you? For example, last month I just learned that my sister Mia doesn't like to cook. Just little things like that.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

Yeah. Huh. Oh, she's addicted to her phone. I didn't realize like how addicted to her phone she's. There you go. Dude, old folks people like the scroll and she loves AI. Oh, she's like, she's like following all these like AI like cowboy accounts where it's like this like AI dude talking about like just stuff. And it's just like just like random shit. He's like pretty attractive, but it's like just his like head, you know, and it's like just down down. It's like pretty good, but it's AI. And she's like, Oh, Chatty, check this out. And like sends it to me. Yeah. And I'm like, hmm. And it and it feels like I'm breaking it to her that Santa's not real. She's like AI. She goes, shut up. And then she gets all betrayed.

SPEAKER_04 23:30

Oh she's like, no. Oh my god, it's not real.

SPEAKER_03 23:34

Wait, okay, but like she's like from Connecticut, right? Yeah, she's from Connecticut. What's the cowboy guy appeal for her? Dude, we all got a little cowboy photos.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

Oh, for sure, but like I feel like it's like as an American, you just kind of got that. Yeah. That's true. Like, if there's a mechanical bowl around me, I'm I'm saddling it. I'm saddling it, and I'm trying to make the crowd horny.

SPEAKER_05 23:57

I'm trying to I'm trying to break that bowl.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

I'll never forget the time we wrote that ball. And I almost died by your bottom.

SPEAKER_04 24:08

Yes, my bottom. Your bottom, you know.