Destiny Helpers: Not Everyone in Your Life Is Meant to Stay: Learn the Difference Between Leaves, Branches, and Roots.

In this episode of Black Sheep Leadership, Athena Renee explores the concept of destiny helpers and how to discern the different roles people play in your life. Using the powerful analogy of leaves, branches, and roots, this episode explains why some people are only meant to be part of your journey for a season while others are foundational to your growth.

If you’ve ever struggled with lack of support or misunderstanding relationships, this episode will help you gain clarity and appreciation for the people assigned to your destiny.

BLACK SHEEP TREE  OF DISCERNMENT
https://docs.google.com/document/d/10jnVN-BvAieqXfVYAlKOa7p8MLbupVbN55RuCSZjE6I/edit?usp=sharing

"INFORMATION IS EVERYWHERE EXECUTION IS RARE"

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:33

One of the biggest struggles black sheep face is the lack of support. We're used to doing things along. We're used to pushing through to the end without help. But sometimes that independence becomes a blind spot. Because the truth is you were never meant to fulfill your destiny completely by yourself. You might start it by yourself, and it is your vision. But that doesn't mean you're going to build it by yourself. Because the bigger the assignment, the more destiny helpers you will need. But here's the problem. Many people, specifically black sheep, we sleep on our destiny helpers because we don't understand the different roles that people play in their life. Some people are leaves, some people are branches, and a few are roots. Welcome back to the Black Sheep Leadership Podcast. I'm your girl, Then Renee, and we're back with another episode, y'all. This podcast is for the misfits, the underdogs, and the black sheep who refuse to settle. Today we're talking about something that is going to change how you see relationships forever. Okay. Grab that pen and paper because this one right here, y'all, listen. This is one of those episodes like we discussed last week on how to stop wasting your realness on fake people. You want to keep that in your arsenal. Well, this week I'm going to be talking to you about how to identify the destiny helpers in your life. Because you must understand as a black sheep, everyone in your life is not meant to play the same role. And when you misunderstand someone's role, you create unnecessary disappointment. So today I'm going to be breaking it down the three types of people you'll encounter while you're on your journey. Alright. So before we get into it, I'm going to give you a little bit of time to grab that pen and paper. Um again, I want to welcome the first time listeners. What's going on, y'all? Listen, you in for a treat today because this is going to be a heavy hitter. Don't forget, guys, you already know. Like the video, leave comments however you get this information or this episode. Um, I'm also going to be giving you those three action steps, like I always do in the end. Okay, so you can take this and implement it in your life starting today. Okay, because as I've always told you guys, if you look at your life like it's a tree of life, your relationships, it's the tree of life. Remember, we were talking about how you are a seed, and if you look at your business as a garden and your life as a garden, right? And if you a seed and you grow into this tree, remember we talked about how trees they start off real small, a seed, right? And in that seed, and we talked about the the cycle of growth, the process of growth, and how it hurts and things like that, right? So if you a seed and then you grow up to be this plant, and then now you're about to be this big old tree, right? Because if you got a big destiny, a big assignment to your life, and you know what your assignment is, you're gonna be a huge tree. But guess what? Even if you feel like you have a small assignment, and which is really big either way, right? Because it's gonna take all of you to bring that assignment, that destiny, that dream from the unseen to the seen, it's gonna take a lot, right? And so if you perceive that it's a dream, but it's a big dream, you're gonna be a big tree. If you perceive it's gonna be a small dream, you're gonna be a small tree. But nevertheless, a tree is still something that has roots, branches, and leaves, and I want you to think about those in the terms of all the relationships that you have. The soil, okay, the soil is the environment that you're in, all right. So I'm telling y'all, we're gonna hop right on in. So, like I told you guys today, we're breaking down the three types of people leaves, branches, and roots, and learning how to discern who is who. All right, so let's hop in pillar number one. Some people are leaves, all right. So, leaves are the seasonal folks, leaves are seasonal, they appear for a moment, they may help you during a specific time, but they are not meant to stay forever. Now, think about the natural uh leaf. Leaves are seasonal, right? In the summertime, leaves are green, they're beautiful, they're all over the place. It's a lot of them. But when you look up and you see it's uh fall time now, the leaves start changing colors, right? They start doing what transitioning because leaves are like people who help you during a transition, they support you for a short season, okay. Just like leaves, they switch and change for a season, they teach you something valuable. Okay, these are the people you meet, you're like, Man, they taught me something really cool. But once the season changes, they move on, and that's okay. The mistake is expecting someone to stay permanent from someone who was only assigned for a season. Leave serves a purpose, but they are not permanent. Okay, so think about that. They serve a purpose, but they're not permanent, and when you can identify that, you won't be upset and hurt because you understand that was the role they had to play in your destiny, and now it's time for them to move on. Pillar number two, some people are branches. Branches are stronger than leaves, they can hold more weight, they're more stable. Branches are the people who support you longer. Okay, branches can be friends, collaborators, mentors, and supporters. The cool thing about the branches are there's all different sides of branches, but no matter what size the branch is, some of you might say, Man, that's a twig, it's still more sturdier than a leaf. So the simple fact is as long as you can tell the difference, like a you will know, hey, this is a branch, this is not a leafy person. Branches, they may not be present for every moment, but they're dependable, right? They they may not be there every time, but they're dependable. You can reach out, you can lean on them, they are connected to you for growth. Okay, so that's why I was telling you guys, even if you said, Oh, it's just a twig, it's just a stick, it's a branch, and it's still connected to you, connected to your growth. But guess what? Even branches can break under extreme pressure. That's why everyone cannot carry the full weight of your destiny. Okay, so think about it when you're in a storm, when you see a storm or you're in a storm and you see all of these trees, right? Some has fell down, but a lot of times it just be those branches, it be those twigs, and sometimes it'd be huge branches, depending on what type of storm it is. That tree can lose some can lose some heavy branches because that's what storms do. Storms are like a pruner, a natural pruner of life, right? We did an episode on pruning, and pruning is all about cutting back, cutting back the weak so you can see the strong, cutting back the non-essentials so you can grow more essential. Okay, that's what pruning is like about, and and if you think about a storm, that's why when people come in your life, when they leafy, soon as something goes wrong, they go and left. You don't even see them people no more. Those are the folks you you work with, and y'all real cool. You might go out for lunch all the time and do all kinds of stuff, but as soon as you quit that job, you don't even talk to them anymore. That's a leafy person, but branch people are a little bit more stable than that. However, if that storm gets heavy enough, because they can't carry a whole lot of weight, man, anything could make that whole branch just break off in a storm if it's heavy enough, okay? Because at the end of the day, branch people they cannot carry the full weight of your destiny. That's why I'm telling you guys when you start thinking in destiny in terms of destiny, but not only that, in terms of building your legacy, and when we start talking about legacy moves, legacy moves is also tied into your lineage, okay. And when you start talking about lineage, whether it's your family or your kids or whoever, these are people that will benefit from your vision long after you have transitioned on. Okay, and so when you have something that's gonna feed generations to come, you know you're gonna have different destiny helpers that's gonna come in your life, and not only that, because you're doing it to move humanity forward in a positive light, you're moving humanity up, it's harder to go up, it's harder to go up. Hence, that's why you're gonna have some of the storms. It's harder to go up the hill, right? So when some of those when those storms come, some of those people, you already know them leaves, they're gonna shake away. It'd be a lot of leaves, it'd be branches, it'd be those weak branches, and it'd be leaves a lot of times when it's a real like if it's a hurricane, a real hot, like a crazy storm. That's all you see in the street is leaves and weak branches, because that's what a that's what storms would do to people that are not meant to stay. But let's get into pillar three. A few people are roots, roots are rare. Roots are the people who can stand with you through everything, they are connected to your foundation, they are invested in your growth. You know, the crazy thing about roots is that if you see a flower, like a rose, think about the rose. You see the beautiful rose, even a tree. You look at a tree, trees are so beautiful, but the roots, the roots are the thing that's in the dark. That's your whole foundation. That's the people a lot of times that holds you up, and nobody even sees them. These are the people that like you for you most of the time. Okay, roots are people who believe in your vision, they know they are connected to it for some odd reason, or they believe in it, and therefore they become loyal to you through different changes. Okay, they support you in hard seasons. Y'all stay by each other's side. Man, I love me some rooty people, man. But check this out they're not visible like the branches, they provide strength beneath the surface. See what I'm saying, guys. That's why I told you the roots, people don't see the roots, they don't see the people that when you're not feeling well, or you're ready to quit that job, or you're ready to give up on your vision, they don't see the people in the background that's meeting up with you on Tuesday night, right? Having conversations about the vision and what you can do better, and holding each other accountable. They don't see those people because those are the roots, and a lot of times, roots have their own thing going. But when it's time to squat up, you got your roots, you got your roots. See, people want to see the beautiful stuff, they want to see the flower. This is why it's important for you to understand the difference because everybody's gonna come when it looks when it looks good, everybody's gonna rock it out with you. But when a storm comes, these folks gonna fly like the wind, they out of there. Roots don't disappear when a storm arises, they hold the tree steady. And check this out, y'all. What's so cool about the root? Even when it's a crazy storm, and you've seen some of these trees, some of the trees they're old, they was already uh weak, and you see how a tree will do one or two things. If the tree is real weak and it comes up by the roots, y'all, the roots still be connected sometimes. What's that's telling you? Rooted people, they will stay connected to you even when it's up and it's stuck. Sometimes you get just tipped over, like you know how life comes in and just shake you over. Rooted people, they're gonna still be connected to you, right? But the thing about it is you must understand that even though trees have a lot of roots on them sometimes, most of the time in life, you're not gonna have a lot of rooted people, okay, because rooted people they so solid, it's a it's a high percentage that they got their own thing going on, right? They down for you, they not leaving, but they not all showy like the leaves flingling around, it's all of them all in access, right? It's a lot of leaves in huge numbers, they come and go, right? Then the branches, branches are great, they got some structure. You see the branches, but if some stuff go down hard enough, guess what? The branches break off as well. You don't even see the roots, the roots are protected by you, but they are still holding you up during the storm when it's time to stand. It's like they're holding you accountable, okay. Black sheep often expect in their life everyone to be roots, but that's unrealistic, and I know you already know that, y'all. Most people will be leaves and branches. Okay, a lot of people in our lives they come in by day and they're gone by night. Some people just come to post up a little bit, you know. They they don't do a little bit, see what's going on, and they're gone with the win. Most people will be leaves and branches, and that's perfectly normal. The key is learning to discern who is who. That's what's really the main important thing that we're talking about. You want to put yourself in a position to win as a black sheep, right? Well, guess what? In any environment, you need to be able to discern who are these people. So, at work, for an example, guys, nine times out of ten, the people at work, they're leaves, they're just there for a season. Every now and then you might talk to somebody. Um, every now and then you might meet somebody at a job and they might end up being a branch, right? Or a root. But nine times out of ten, your coworkers, they're leaves, right? They're leaves or branches. But like I said, once you learn to discern, when you recognize someone's role, you just stop expecting the wrong things from the wrong people, and it makes it so much better. Because I want you guys to understand the bigger your dream, the more people will be required to help you build it and bring it to life. I've always told you you might start the journey alone, but you don't have to finish it alone. God often sends destiny helpers. The question is, do you recognize them when they appear? Here's the three action steps. Y'all ready? Number one, identify the leaves in your life. Ask yourself, who was only meant to be in my life for a specific season? And just be cool about like be real with yourself about it. Who is it? And when you identify them, release them with gratitude, release them with gratitude. Because let me tell you guys something. If you don't let people go that's supposed to just be with you for a season, you will end up like the story of Abraham and his nephew Lot. Okay, Abraham went over there to Sodom and Gomorrah. This is a biblical story, but even if you're not a non-believer, just think about this on a logical standpoint because it is so a hundred percent accurate. Okay, so Abraham, he's blessed, he got the favor on him. He's going over here to Sodom and Gomorrah to you know let them know what's about to go down. I think he's going to his family house, right? So he goes to his family house, boom, they go Lot and his wife. They get up out of there because they know it's about to be it's about to be fire and brainstorm, it's about to be hell to pay. Two things you gotta understand. Number one, Lot's wife turned around and she turned to a pillar of salt. Okay, and what does that represent, guys? That represents when you look into the future, stop looking back because you're not going that way. And a lot of times, when you look back and start going back, them folks is salty. They salty. That is you, even though you giving them an opportunity sometimes, they're salty because they from your past and they can only relate to you in the past, and you have to be careful because if you don't let them go, like we'll soon understand, like Lot, so Abraham he brought them on out, right? He's still with um Lot. He got him okay. Come on, Lot. Now it's been a season. Now Lot out here tripping, all kind of crazy stuff started going on. It was almost like he was a bad luck charm. He wasn't a bad luck charm, he was just a branch, and it was just that season, and it was time for him to go. But up until that point, that Abraham did not recognize that Lot was bringing all kinds of problems and stuff. And check this out some people that are branches are like this as well. So finally, Abraham smelt the coffee and said, You know what? Let me get this man up out of here. This is my this is my cousin, this is my nephew, but he gotta go, right? Sometimes God gives you just hints and clues about stuff, and you like, you know what? I ain't nothing else I can do, ain't nothing else I can do. And so he said, Look, Lot, man, we gotta go our separate ways. You know, Abraham was tired of him when he told he told Lot, go ahead and pick what you want, man. Go ahead and get whatever you want, and this is what some people do in your life when they leave. You want them to just leave in peace because you over it, and you already know you got the blessing on you, and you about to ball out no matter what, so it don't even matter, right? Because some people that you leave and that you uh encounter in your journey, guys, and they're gonna be leaves and branches, they think they the one that got the blessing, they got the nerve to think that if they're not messing with you, you're not gonna be blessed. They don't even know it. That black sheep's number one, nine times out of ten, everybody got their seasonal blessings, but We're talking about world changers. We're talking about generational curse curse breakers, right? And they don't realize a lot of times, people that's the black sheep, that's a strong indication that them folks got something big tied to them. It's bigger than them. So you know it's bigger than somebody else because nothing is bigger than the assignment. And leaves and branches sometimes they think small, especially leaves, because they just like I said, leaves or flowers, or those are like the showy things, right? They'll support you a little bit, but then they gone when something goes wrong. This is why you got to release them with gratitude. But check it out. Lot said he when he told a man, go ahead and take whatever you want. Abraham told a man, go get what you want and get up out of here. Lot called himself, he's gonna pick the best of the best. That's what he thought. But see, what people don't realize is even if you start from nothing, God's still gonna accelerate you faster just because you got the right heart about stuff. That's why it be funny to me, like when we meet or encounter people that we had to cut them off, or they then flew away like branches and leaves, and they try to act like it was a major beef or something on your end, or like you just about to be in dustbucket.com forever just because they gone. I don't think so. I don't think so. Number two, appreciate your branches, though. Branches provide real support, they really do. Recognize the people who show up and contribute, let them know they matter. Listen, y'all, one thing about it, guys, even if they leafy people, but specifically the branches, because sometimes you may not even see the branch, the branches, the people they you don't see them all the time, because just like roots, they have stuff going on. Anytime you meet people that are a supporter of something that you're doing, or they're supporter of you in general, it's a high sign, a high indicator that they have their own ambitions. Why? Because they can relate, they understand how important it is, and they feel drawn to you as well. Some people like the roots, it's so funny because rooted people they don't necessarily have to be your family, and you just find yourself connected to these people. I mean, it's crazy, it's it's it's really mind-boggling sometimes because obviously, you know, especially with black sheep, it don't be the people who we thought it would be, it'll be somebody, and we're like, How is it you? But as a black sheep, you like I'll take any all the help I can get. At certain points, as a black sheep, guys, you start realizing that destiny is so heavy, and you actually probably tired of just carrying it along by yourself. You ever been so independent? You tired of being independent? I mean, you love being independent, but you want to be interdependent because you understand that it's better when we're together. Okay, so appreciate your branches, guys. Appreciate them. I am really big on appreciating my folks, whether it be verbal, you know, or or whatever I need to do sometimes to really show them that I'm really, really big on that because people will drop you like a bad habit in a minute. At any given time, at any shift of the wind, they will leave. They will leave. So appreciate them branches. Number three, protect your roots, protect your roots. Roots are rare. If you have people who truly stand with you, man, listen, I'm telling you at all costs, protect those relationships, man. Protect them, understand their love language. Everybody, it's not even about a romantic thing or not. Understanding their love language so that you can make sure they feel supported and nurtured. Because if you look at some trees, the reason why they fall over in a storm is because the roots haven't been nurtured. You gotta understand, guys, when people pour into you, they are pouring out of their cup, and so they have to be filled back up some type of way. It's called reciprocity. That's what life, the life cycle is all about. Think about it. The trees they let off carbon dioxide. Oh, I'm sorry, they let off oxygen, and we breathe out the carbon dioxide, and we do a switch, and it might be the other way around, but I do know that though. Okay, so we switch why because we help keep each other nourished, and that's how it is within your whole tree of life system. Your roots, it starts with the roots, though. Keep them roots right, even with your hair. Think about your hair when you want to grow your hair. The first thing they start telling you is what's going on with the roots. Let's get down to the root. If you're in supply chain in your career and you're doing distribution or you're doing any type of procuring of materials and you're thinking about the supply chain, when something goes wrong, what do they say? What is the root cause? What is the root cause? And if you're into supply chain management, you'll know that the root cause analysis has five layers. Why? Because that's telling you it could be multiple things wrong with why we have weak roots. Okay, and that's why I'm telling you guys when you know you got these good relationships, no relationship will be perfect, but don't ever let your root relationships get to a point where somebody's feeling one-sided. Think about how the trees just be leaning over sometimes because that one root, the other side, is not getting the nourishment. So whether you have three roots in your life or you have 10 different people that are roots, make sure you understand them and how they want to be appreciated. Because one thing I can tell you is when you pour into people, not only are they gonna pour back into you, they are gonna stand with you strong foundation. They're gonna stand with you through some crazy things, y'all. And in this time, y'all, as a black sheep, y'all. One thing I want y'all to understand I know we the black sheep, but sometimes we move like long wolves, and I know we're not scared, and I know we got the energy, I know we do, but I want you to understand, guys, do not let your inner and your independence become a blind spot because we are made to connect. This is why I'm talking to you about the tree of life, your life being like the tree of life, because you are the seed, and your environment is the beginning of all of it, right? Because your environment is gonna nurture you, and then when you start to be nurtured and you're doing these different things, you start to grow, and you got these leaves, you got these roots, you got these branches, right? You gotta know which is which, but the whole thing is, guys, I want you to understand first and foremost, there are destiny helpers because as a black sheep, we go through so much betrayal and backstabbing, and we build it, and we're so independent, and we're going off by ourselves, and after we go through so much, we don't even really want to let people in. We looking for something, we're like, we looking for the smoke, you know. We we waiting for somebody to do one little thing so we can clip them off real quick. And sometimes, guys, you do not listen. Sometimes it's a process, just like plants, it's a process. Sometimes you're gonna have to nurture things, but one thing about it, and two things for sure that you don't ever have to worry about as a black sheep when you know how to discern who is who, and number two, the truth is always gonna come out. This is why I always tell y'all to attach your life to something bigger than you, attach your life to a purpose, to a mission, to a destiny. The cool thing about it is, even if you don't know what that is yet, if you just start searching and doing, especially when it's um moving humanity forward in a positive manner, you're gonna get to that thing that you need to get to. But the other piece to it is when you're dealing with people and you might think they are a branch or you might think they're a root and they're really a leaf, the truth is always gonna come out, it's gonna come out through actions, it's gonna come out through storms, it's gonna always be revealed. That's one thing you don't have to worry about. This is why it's important for you to know how to discern who is who, and start to recognize the patterns of people. You don't even have to say nothing, just recognize their patterns. You can run into some of the most savvyest people, okay? You can run into some of the most saviest people, but trust and believe me, guys. If you attach yourself to something that's bigger than you, everything that you need to know is going to come out, is going to come to you, and you can go ahead and make your next move your best move. All right, and we can go ahead and end and minimize all this disappointment with people when we thought they really was roots, we thought they was our ride of thy roots, and the whole time is they leafy people. The whole time is they a young twig on this tree of life. Now I don't have to get mad. Now I don't have to be disappointed because you you you blew away when a storm came. You thought we weren't gonna stay steady in a storm, you thought we weren't gonna come back. Well, obviously, because you left, obviously, because you broke off. That's alright though. Protect your roots, okay. Now, listen, y'all, if this episode resonates with you and you're realizing that you're stepping into a bigger season of your life, I want to invite you to our free master class, and it is all about the revent reinvention code, okay. You can check that out in the description box. Also, you guys know I have created something so cool for you, and this is the Tree of Life graphic, and it's a poster, and um, it explains to you the different people in your life. I truly believe that it will bless you. Print it out. I'm serious, y'all. We gotta get for real about our network because as a black sheep, we're in a season where we're expanding. There's no doubt about it that we're expanding, but we have to be smart and strategic. Because I want to bring something to you guys in somewhat of a balanced manner, because I don't want to always talk about the backstabbers and betrayals, right? Because I know it's a lot of Judases out here, guys. We go through a lot of stuff, and we go, I mean, even if it's not about betrayal, we go through a lot of manipulative people, we encounter them, you know, and it's always gonna be a power dynamic somewhere. I've been looking, I've been listening um to some teachings, and one thing I'm coming to realize is, guys, in this life, it's always gonna be a challenge, it's always gonna be something going on, some type of power dynamic, some type of move, some type of shift that somebody or something is gonna do that's either gonna piss you off, you know, make you happy, bring you down, have you on the roller coaster of life, right? But what I want you to understand is when you learn how to not only just manage your emotions and have the emotional intelligence that we're always talking about, when you know how to discern the people in your life, because a lot of the issues we have is because we're dealing with the wrong people, or we got the wrong role assigned to the wrong person. If you know somebody just a leaf, you ain't gonna be investing a lot in them. You gonna you're gonna like them, you're gonna support them and be cordial with them, but you're not gonna be pouring into them like they're a branch. You're not gonna you definitely not gonna be bringing them in like they rooted. So start let people start to let people's actions work for them. Let that show you everything you need to know and how you need to categorize them in your life. You don't have to beg people to do nothing. Let their actions show you, okay? Because not everyone is meant to stay forever. Some are leaves, some are branches, but a few, a few are roots. All right, y'all. I'm your girl Thina Renee, and this is the Black Seed Leadership Podcast. I'm signing off. Take care.