F$%& Them People!!

What if the person you’re hurting the most with unforgiveness…
 is actually yourself?

In this raw and emotionally powerful episode of the Black Sheep Leadership Podcast, Athena Renee breaks down the hidden damage caused by bitterness, resentment, and unresolved pain—and why forgiveness is one of the greatest forms of self-protection.

This episode explores:

🔹 Why unforgiveness silently destroys people
 🔹 How bitterness affects your mindset, attitude, and future
 🔹 The difference between forgiveness and access
 🔹 Why healing is a power move—not weakness
 🔹 How to turn pain into purpose and wisdom

You’ll also hear personal reflections about:

•  leadership at a young age 
•  dealing with bitter and difficult people 
•  emotional healing 
•  protecting your mental “mainframe” 
•  and reclaiming your peace 

Because the truth is:

Forgiveness isn’t about pretending the pain didn’t happen.

It’s about refusing to let it control your future.

"INFORMATION IS EVERYWHERE EXECUTION IS RARE"

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:31

What's going on, everybody? I want to welcome you back to the Black Sheet Leadership Podcast. I'm your girl, Thina Renee, and this is where the underdogs, misfits, and overlooked leaders tap in to turn pain into power so that they can build a life by design and leave a legacy behind. Now listen, if this is your first time tapping in, what's up, family? I'm so happy to have you. I appreciate you stopping by. And if you're back again, I appreciate you coming back because you already know what time it is. Let's do this quick vibe check. Because if you're easily offended, sensitive, entitled, still waiting on somebody to come save you, or you're allergic to accountability, get your ass up out of here right now, because this is not your safe space. But if you're ready to think different so you can level up different, stay locked in because by the end of this episode, you're walking away with something that you can execute today. Okay? So let's get to work. Today, we're gonna be unpacking one of the most powerful things that you can do and say about people, places, and things. And that's F them people. F them. F them people. F them people. Let's be real. Some people did you dirty. As a black sheep, you know we get lied on, we get backstabbed and betrayed. People use us like a dirty dish rag. Then to put to sprinkle salt in a womb, people will treat us like a dish rag and then talk down on us, projecting their pain onto us. As a black sheep, we get all of this. And the crazy thing about it is, if you really resonate with being a black sheep, a lot of times you learn this on a at a very early stage. You learn what rejection felt like, what it what it felt like to be treated unfair. And the sad part about it is you learned it all while you were at home. You hadn't even experienced what the world had to show you. Well, a lot of one of the things that I recall when I um in my early days working, I became a manager at the age of 18. And most of the people at that time were older than me. Okay. And I remember dealing with certain people that had bad attitudes. I mean, they had mean spirits, bitter, always negative and angry. And the crazy thing about it is, even though I'm saying they were older than me, in which they were, they were still just in their like 20s, late or late 20s, going into their 30s, no more than 40s, okay? But these folks was always negative and angry. And over time, after you know, I had leveled up and changed my life, you know, I moved on, left town, and everything. And, you know, sometimes you would look back and be like, you know what? F all of that. I don't have to think about that or deal with those people and all those different things. But over time, when maturity sets in, you really start having moments of retrospect about your life, you know, and different pieces of a journey and different things you learned. This is why I always tell you guys as a black sheep, don't ever think that anything you went through will be wasted because it will not be wasted. This is why it's good to have moments of reflection. It's not about you living in the past, right? Because we're only visiting for a retrospect. We're not moving in, you know, we're not moving back to the past, right? But as time went on, and like I said, when maturity set in, I started to really think about the people that I had encountered. And I noticed something disturbing, and it was like a pattern. A lot of the people, I could tell they were just carrying heavy energy, like energy of bitterness, they were just angry, uh, negativity. Uh, I remember one of the young ladies, she used to laugh when people would get in trouble. She always wanted to report it when people would get in trouble. And I used to just be like, at first, you know, when you're younger, you like, man, that's a bee. Or she on some bull crap, or they tripping. You know, they got bad attitudes, oh, they horrible. But now, looking back on it, looking back on it with more wisdom, I realized that a lot of those folks, they were probably carrying deep wounds trauma, disappointments, resentment, pain from childhood, pain from relationships, you know, just pain from life. Because what I realize is, you know, everybody don't have the different perspectives that black sheep have. See, as a black sheep, we come from the bottom, so we can't do nothing but look up. But see, a lot of folks, their high school years was their glory years, their their teenage years was their glory years. And when they when they become adults, they learn that life ain't high school. Life ain't a popularity contest. It's not a fashion show. And when they get that real starker reality and they look around and they see the black sheep then leveled up, or they just see life in general, don't give a crap about all of that other stuff. That's when the bitterness, the disappointment, and all the trauma, everything else from life that they've encountered, it starts to come back up. Right? Why? Because your light, your light will always irritate somebody's demons, it will always be a reminder of what they could have done. So, what do they do? They compressing you. They compressing you because hurt people hurt other people. And I realized a lot of what I was witnessing, it wasn't just about an attitude problem, it was unresolved forgiveness. And the scary thing about for unforgiveness is that it never stays contained. See, when you walk around and brag about holding grudges, eventually it starts affecting your mindset, it starts affecting your body, your relationships, your peace, and I mean your future. And over the years, I have literally watched people destroy themselves emotionally, spiritually, and physically, all surrounding unforgiveness. Now, when we talk about unforgiveness, a lot of times um we instantly think, you know, we're unforgiving, you know, for something that happened, or you know, we're holding grudges and all of these different things. But what you must understand is unforgiveness forced me to realize something. It does not affect the other person because you are bragging about holding grudges. Unforgiveness imprisons you, it imprisons you. You it take it's just like I remember we were in school, and one of the people said they made a statement that it takes more energy to be upset than to smile. And if you think about that, people literally just walking around all day long with grudges on their shoulders, mad at everybody, harboring unforgiveness, and they could lose weight instantly by just simply letting it go. But what you must understand is here's the first thing that I learned when I'm talking about F you, F you, is forgive them. Forgive them, folks. I like to say double F them, fuck them and forgive them. Like what? Yeah, when you say fuck them, fuck them means you're not even worth me holding a grudge. So if you're not worth me holding a grudge, what's next? I'm gonna forgive you. Like the Bible says, forgive them, the Lord, because they don't know what they're doing, they know not what they do. See, a lot of times as a black sheep, people don't even know that you're here to break generational curses. It may not be on your family, it may not even be on their family or your family. But at the end of the day, you're here on an assignment. And instead of them letting your life be inspiration, guess what? They want to come with the hateration. And some people don't even realize forgiveness is not about being generous, it's actually a work of being selfish. You know, some this is one of the things why I am just so forgiving. People don't realize it. They're like, you know, you forgive people so quickly, and I do, and I do, you know. Obviously, we've all had our times where, you know, we was mad at people, they kind of held grudges, but my natural state is I can't be holding, I can't hold a grudge or be mad at somebody just for years after years. Now, I can honestly dislike your ass for the rest of my life, but that don't mean I hate you. I'm walking around upset. Because what you must understand is the real flex is that everybody that tried to destroy you, they didn't do it. You still here. If you listen to my voice, the real flex is you still moving around, doing what you need to do. And the super flex is when you live in good and you happy and you at peace. Because, see, a lot of times people wanted to destroy you with the stuff they were doing. But like I said, you know, a lot of times people say, you know, man, you forgive people so quickly. Yes, I do because forgiveness is a selfish sport. What do I mean, you might ask? Forgiveness is selfish. You don't forgive other people because of them. They just showed you they was a dirtbag, a crabby patty. Why would I want to forgive you for you? F you F you for real. But guess what? I'm forgiving them for me. You should forgive people for you. Not because they earned it, not because they apologize. You know, these folks they do shit now. They won't even say sorry, they won't own up to it, they'll argue with you. So they're not apologizing. We're not forgiving them for nothing they did because we know they don't even deserve it, but because you deserve peace. Because every day that you hold on to bitterness, you're giving old pain present-day power, and that is dangerous. See, when you forgive people, you release them for being in control of the scenario. But see, when I say double F them, when I say fuck them and forgive them, what you must understand is when you say fuck them, that's like I told you earlier. You're not worth me holding a grudge. But guess what else? You're not worth me even looking back. Yep, I'm gonna take the lessons that I needed to learn. But when you try to, or if you try to spin the block, you're not worth it. F you, I forgive you. That don't mean I'm trying to be your friend, it don't mean I'm trying to be in your area around what you're doing. Because here's the thing you must understand as black sheep. I had thought about this, guys, because I was actually meaning to record this on uh Thursday and some things came up, but I believe today is the perfect time to do it because black sheep, one thing you are I'm sure you've already noticed is that a lot of people that did you wrong, they're starting to come back up through the algorithms, they're starting to come back up and uh uh even in your energy. You may not even be online, you don't have to be online, they'll come back through your energy. And the reason why is nine times out of ten, science shows it all the time that if you are thinking about someone, there's a good chance they're thinking about you too. And a lot of these people, they're uh invading your energy fields. You know why? Because they sense something is going on, they sense your level up, they sense it, and they probably saw it too. See, as black sheep already know you live a private life. You just laying low, you just trying to do what you need to do, and once you realize a lot of the closest people to you weren't doing nothing but competing and comparing, you like, you know what? Let me keep all my moves low-key. You move real discreet, you move in silence, you move like the mafia, right? You ain't letting folks know nothing. But guess what? They still looking anyway, they still looking and lurking. You gotta know they're gonna peek in to see. Number one, they want to see if you messed up, they want to see if what they thought was really true. At the same time, they knew it wasn't true if they was on, they was just mad it was you. They was mad it was you. So now I'm trying to see how you live and how you looking. And one thing about it, and two things for sure, black sheep, if when you post a little bit, like Kendrick Lamar say, pop out and show folks, when you post a little bit and you post them pictures in black sheep right now, you looking good, smelling good, doing your thing, trust me, they want to spend the block. They want to spend the block. Yeah, they want to spend it, they want to spend it, right? But what you must understand is if they didn't see your value when you was going through and still smiling, still there to support them with your energy, money, or whatever it was, if they didn't see your value then, they're not gonna see it now. See, now you see it because it's in your face, but when you had access to it, it was nothing to you. So after everything has been said and done, I have turned my pain into power. That's why I'm forgiving you. I forgive you for betraying me because I'm gonna turn that pain into power. What type of power? Lessons, wisdom that I can share with other people, insight and discernment that I can use for myself the next time around when I meet somebody. Because trust and believe, black sheep, your light is gonna attract beautiful things like it do, but also bugs. Don't ever forget that. When people talk about the light and the chosen one and all of that, the light attracts light, but it also attracts bugs, and it's so crazy because them bugs come straight for you. You you ever seen how the bugs do when the light's on? That bug is coming straight for the light. I'm talking about straight in. So you gotta know, guys, they're gonna try to spin the block, they're gonna come back up through the algorithms. What I want you to make sure you do number one, since you have released the bitterness from what they did and you're changing the pain into power, you almost understand number one, you regain the control. And when I'm talking about regaining the control, you're regaining the control of how you perceive the incident, how you perceive that relationship. Because, see, a lot of people want to spin the block because they want you to get into that mushy feeliness of when you thought they were solid, when you thought y'all was real friends. They want you to go back to them little nice times when everything was cool. But truth being told, black sheep, you have been fake, you have been people that fake shit all along. You just like them too much. You probably loved on them too much, you believed in them. This is why I'm telling you gotta double F them, forget about them and forgive them. Because the thing about it is black sheep, because we truly love on people, we see their potential. This is why we don't understand why people we don't know be hating on us and competing and comparing with us, because we believe in them. Right? And when you believe in people and they turn around and show you how they really feel about you, like you don't have nothing else to do. See, when you're holding people down when they're going through hell and high water, that means you believe in them, their ability to come back up, their ability to be a better person, their ability to be stronger, be better, be wiser, so you stay down with them, you don't run away. But guess what? As soon as you hit a rough patch, or as soon as you didn't meet their certain expectation, they was ready to cut you off. They was ready to do it, and a lot of them did it. So listen, you forgiving them, but you're not forgetting that. You're not gonna paint, you're not gonna allow them to paint you no other picture. They painted you the picture you needed to see in the first place. You're not gonna allow them to paint another one. So instead of carrying the wound around, you're gonna use it as wisdom. You're gonna help somebody else heal, you're gonna teach what you learn, you're gonna leave from that place of wisdom, you're gonna build, you're gonna create. You can even profit from the lesson, not just financially, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally, because when you handle that pain correctly, it becomes power. And that's what they can't believe, guys. Listen, that's when they when they start trying to spin a block. And now I wonder where uh I wonder where Athena at. Because see, they know when Athena, people know real energy, they know real love. So trust and believe, guys, you may not see these people no more, family, but trust and believe you crossing their mind because in this world, when you have real people that like you for you, they like you when you got the money and they like you when you broke or pre-rich. They like you for you, they like your light, they like your attitude, your sense of humor, your swag, whatever it is, they like you for you. And when you meet people like that, it's priceless. But see, a lot of folks they just want the light, they just want stuff that looks good, and the thing about it is, black sheep, they took you for granted. So when they start spinning the block or seeing little things, or you cross their mind and they mess around and see a picture of you over there smiling, styling, and profiling, looking good, and you can tell when people got a certain peace about themselves. Because see, the thing about it is, black sheep, God has been so generous with us that a lot of us did not allow us to look like what we've been through. Because only God knows what you've been through. Only God knows what you've been through. And the reason why I believe he does it, number one, is for his glory, but number two, this is one of the benefits of forgiving people. And black sheep, you just move on. You be hurt about stuff, but you just move on and you want to level up because when you're from the bottom, you're like, Man, I gotta come up. I've been down so long, I've been depressed, compressed, and everything else so long, I gotta come up. Right? And so you just forget about it, you just move on. You know, it might be a wound, but it's not like it's a wound that's gonna poison you and change it. You continue to love with the same love that you've always had, and that's why a lot of times you don't look like what you have been through. But what you must understand is your mind is a mainframe, and this is where the black sheep's have to get strategic. See, your mind is like a computer, and every person doesn't deserve access to your operating system. Some people enter your life like a Trojan horse, they drop bitterness, negativity, self-doubt, resentment. And if you don't clear that system, it affects, it infects everything: your relationships, your confidence, your peace, your future. And that's why sometimes you gotta hit control alt-delete. You gotta hit control alt-delete. People be talking crazy, and sometimes that stuff will come up. Control your thoughts. If it was an old way of thinking and you don't like what you got right now, like Joyce Meyer says, stinking, thinking, alternate your belief system. And after that, delete the bullshit. People gonna always come at you with some bull crap because they want you to be who they want you to be. And when they find out that black sheep be standing on 10 toes and standing on their business about who they are, people get offended. See, I didn't understand what it was, but I just had to go ahead and take and be wise and say this is what it is. And so when I found out, when it was explained to me, and when I finally just accepted it, when people find out that you as a black sheep have the nerve to be who you said you were, because see, people want to label you. See, they labeled you as being uh uh uh you weren't gonna do nothing with your life, you were slow, you know. A lot of them thought you was hanging out with them because you didn't have nothing else better to do. But see, ain't nothing like proof, and then you'd have made them a whole liar out here in these streets, you'd have made them a whole liar. So people will come at you with all kinds of stuff. You gotta delete the bullshit. Bitterness changes your character, unforgiveness changes your attitude, your perspective, your energy. You stop trusting people, you stop smiling, you stop believing, you become defensive with everybody because of what one, two, or three people did. Well, that's how pain spreads, and eventually people start building identities around wounds. Now everything becomes anger, sarcasm, coldness, and bitterness. And that's not strength, that's unresolved pain. Now, listen, guys, we all need grace, and the truth is all of us need forgiveness somewhere. When I was telling you that I forgive people and it's a selfish thing, you know why? Because I want to always need somebody to forgive me. I'm gonna always need God, the creator, to forgive me because I'm a mess up.

unknown 21:59

I'm going

SPEAKER_00 22:00

To mess up and see when you walk around with a whole bunch of when you walk around holding grudges like you holier than thou, judging people and all of these different things, judging them and you don't even know them, and and holding people to a higher standard than you hold yourself. That's why in the beginning of our podcast, I tell folks if you if you're allergic to accountability, because you got people that'll call you out on something, if you call them out, honey, they got an attitude, they ready to throw them hands. I literally was hanging out with people that had a pleasure in putting people in their place, and I thank God that it didn't come around to me that many times. But trust and believe, they was testing people and they tested me. But one thing about me, I'm not a fighter unless I have to. But one thing about me, I let people know you're not gonna just run me over, though. I don't care if you're bigger or whatever, you're not gonna just run me over, and it's not about being, you know, you gotta be wise on things, it's not about oh, if someone has a a pew pew and you don't have anything and you over there just mouthing off. No, isn't that that's ignorance? It's about setting a tone to let people know. No, we're not doing that because let me tell you something that I've learned hands down as a black sheep. If you don't set the record straight right away with people as a black sheep, they're gonna think it's cool and they're gonna run up a check with how they play with you. You ain't gonna believe me on this one. Try for yourself. If you identify as a black sheep, try it out and see how people will play with you if you don't set the record straight right away. But see, that's why I say, guys, we all need grace. This is how you know you're dealing with people that genuinely care about you, regardless if you're fooling with them or not. We need grace. Hey, if you made a mistake, they can forgive you. If you made a mistake, they can have a conversation with you to fix it, right? They want to see you do better, they believe in you. But see, when you had all these other people in your life, they was willing to cut you off with nothing, it didn't even matter. The first time y'all got into it, they got an attitude. The first time, trust and believe they tried they was playing with you before then, you just didn't say nothing. So when you stood up and say nothing, how dare you have the audacity to stand up to me and say something? How dare you? Right? So that's how you know you're not dealing with people that really fuck with you, they're dealing with you out of convenience. They already have placed you up under them. So, regardless if they come back around or not, you can the only thing that you got for them is the two F's fuck them and forgive them. Okay, like I said, guys, we all need grace and forgiveness somewhere in our lives. It may not be for the same thing, it may not be for the same level, but what I what you need to understand is you need to start by forgiving yourself for staying too long, ignoring the red flags, accepting less, trusting the wrong people, and healing starts when honesty begins. Okay, forgive yourself first. Your future deserves a healed version of you. You cannot build a peaceful future where while emotional living in old battles. At some point, you gotta decide, you know what? Do I want to move forward and forgive, or do I want revenge and unforgiveness? Because they're not the same thing. And the one thing I truly believe is your latter days will definitely be better than your former days, but only if you stop dragging the former days into your future. I heard a young lady say it so eloquently, and she said, When you pass the test, stop signing up for the class. I'm gonna say it again. When you finally pass the test, when you learn your lesson from dealing with certain people and pass the test, stop signing up for the class. That's how your latter days can be better than your former days because you're starting to move forward in wisdom. Now, here's these three black sheep moves that I'm gonna drop on you. Number one, identify what pain you're still carrying and be honest about it. Identify what pain you're still carrying. Then think about what still triggers the emotion in you with that particular thing, right? What triggers you? Is it something, a place you're going, certain conversations, certain different things? But number two, what I want you to do is separate forgiveness from access. Separate forgiveness from access. See when I said the double Fs? Listen, forgiving someone does not mean reconnecting with them. That's why I say you gotta double F them. Girl, fuck you. I ain't gotta talk to you no more. I gotta see your stupid face no more. But that don't mean I'm mad at you. I'd forgive you. I love you with the love of Christ, but I don't have to deal with you. I don't have to let me tell you something as a black sheep, y'all. Listen, one of my things is, and I don't even want to call it a rule, but if I rock it out with you from the origin of your business, your nonprofit organization, and I go through the storms with you in the moments, you know, in the beginning, it is really frail when you're starting a venture of any kind, profit, nonprofit, whatever is really frail because a lot of times, you know, you're not sure of yourself, it don't even have anything to do with other people. Obviously, when you have support, it's better, but a lot of times you don't have support, and you just don't know, you're unsure, you're you you know what I'm saying? You uh you don't have all the confidence because you're doing something new, it's natural. But here's one of my rule of thumbs. Like I said, I don't necessarily want to call it a rule of thumbs, but this is how I tend to be. If I rock it out with you during the good, the bad, and the ugly of your endeavor, if I support you, I stay there with you, and when it's my turn, you giving me the letter of the law, you abide by the books, you ain't stretching no rules, you read you didn't cut me off the first time. Ain't no explanation, ain't no talking about it, ain't nothing. You just pretty much told me you don't fit what I'm trying to do. One thing about it, and two things for sure, I forgive you. I ain't got time to be held walking around with unforgiveness, but I would never, I would never be in that capacity that when I first met you. You would never meet that person again. And there's really a good chance that I wouldn't befriend you again, and I wouldn't even, like I said, I wouldn't even do business or even support nothing that you got going on again. Why? If you forgive them, because we're moving in wisdom. See, people don't realize that your energy is a currency. Forget about the money if you invest it, your energy is a currency, and currents is based upon reciprocation. If it's not a back and forth, remember when we learned about electricity, how it's friction moving back and forth. That's reciprocation. So if we ain't doing this to create an energy and a momentum or momentum to keep each other going when we hit the bricks with our business and with what we're doing, well, what the hell am I doing then? What am I doing here with you then? This one-way activity, that's a scam. So that's why I always tell you, black sheep, you know what? Hey, I know how to forgive you, baby. It's awesome because if I don't forgive you, that means I don't think I'm worth it and my future is worth it. Because see, you was just one chapter, you not the whole book. So that's why I forgive you and continue to level up. But we're gonna move in wisdom. You will never be back the way I thought you were because that was all pretended. So, three black moves, three black sheep moves that you can use to stop dragging the former days into the future. Number one, identify the pain you're still carrying. Like I said, what triggers emotion in you? Separate the forgiveness from the excess. That's the one I was on. My bad. Listen, separate it, guys. Forgive them, folks, but you ain't got a deal no more. Number three, turn your pain into purpose. This is the most powerful thing you can do. After you forgive them, turn the pain into purpose. Listen, let me tell you something. Won't nothing blow your mind, won't nothing blow their mind when people that did you effed up see that you took that place where they left you f'd up at and turned it into pain and turn into power. Won't nothing blow their minds like turning the place where they left you fucked up at, and you mess around and turn that thing into power and start profiting from it. Lord, have mercy. What lesson did you learn from the suffering that you went through that you could help somebody else with? That's where your power is hiding, serving someone else, understanding that everything you've been through was for a reason. This is why you must. I encourage you to think about, meditate on, turning your pain into power. Forgiving them people, forgive them, and remember you ain't gotta deal with them no more. One young lady said they gotta watch you from the nosebleed now. A lot of people that we gave acts to, we gave them front row access. This is why I sit in my peace now. This is why I'm telling all my black sheep, look good, get your stuff together. I don't care what you got to start off doing, get yourself together. Because number one, you're about to go on stage, it's about to be your time. That's number one. Number two, all them folks that that gave you that you gave front row access to, you gave them VIP, you gave them their own section and paid for everything, and they left you hanging. So this next time around, as you continue to become who you are and leveling up, they get nosebleed seats. They gotta watch you from afar. When they talk about that tail in the presence, they in nosebleed. And guess what? When it's your turn to eat, you better eat. Don't feel bad. That's why you gotta forgive folks. See, when you forgive people, you can treat them nice and everything. If you encounter them, you can treat them right on nice and keep moving. Why? Because I wasn't friends with the person I thought you was. That was a charade. So there's no need for us to stand here and act like everything's cool because it's not. But I forgive you though. I forgive you because I'm gonna stand in my power and turn this pain into power. Okay? Now listen, black sheep, don't let old pain become your permanent personality. You survive for a reason. And maybe the reason was to become proof that healing is possible. Until next time, information is everywhere, execution is rare.