Some People Don’t Want Solutions — They Want Something to Complain About

Why do some people stay stuck for years… even when they know what they need to do?

In this powerful episode of the Black Sheep Leadership Podcast, Athena Renee breaks down the hidden danger of constant complaining, all-talk-no-action behavior, and why excuses quietly destroy potential.

This episode explores:

🔹 The difference between venting and victim mentality
 🔹 Why complaining creates stagnation
 🔹 How murmuring drains your energy and focus
 🔹 Why action—not talent—changes lives
 🔹 The mindset shift that separates builders from complainers

You’ll learn:
 ✔ how to stop living in excuse cycles
 ✔ Why movement creates confidence
 ✔ how accountability creates freedom
 ✔ Why successful people focus on solutions instead of sympathy

Because the truth is:

Talking about change is easy.

Building change is rare.

"INFORMATION IS EVERYWHERE EXECUTION IS RARE"

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:28

What's going on, everybody? I want to welcome you to the Black Sheep Leadership Podcast. I'm your host, Athena Renee, and this is where the underdogs, the misfits, and the black sheep come to turn pain into power so that they can build a life by design and leave a legacy behind. Now, if this is your first time tapping in, welcome family. I'm so happy that you dropped by today. And if you're back again, what's up, family? Get in here, get in here, because you already know what time it is. Now let's do this quick by check. Because if you're easily offended, sensitive, entitled, waiting on somebody to come save you, or allergic to accountability, this is not your safe space. So get up out of here, okay? Tap on out right now. But if you're ready to think different, move different so that you can level up different, stay locked in because by the end of this episode, you're walking away with something that you can execute today. All right. Let's get to work. Today we're gonna be talking about some people don't want solutions, they just want something to complain about. You know, one of the biggest differences between successful people and stuck people, it's action, not talent, not luck, not connections, but action. Because a lot of people talk and a lot of people complain, and then we have our criticizers, but very few people actually take action. Very few people actually move and put their money where their mouth is, and if we're being honest, you know, I realize some people really don't want solutions, they just want sympathy, they want attention and they want validation for staying the same. Now, what one thing that I want you to understand is complaining creates comfort zones. Let's be real. Everybody vents sometimes, okay? So this is not to say that we're not human and we need to bottle everything up. Everybody gets frustrated and vents. That's human, but there's a difference between processing a problem and building an identity around complaining. See, some people complain so much, it just becomes their personality. You already know every conversation is going to be negative, is going to be defeated, hopeless, criticizing everybody or blaming somebody else. And after a while, you start to realize that they don't actually want to change. Because if they did, their actions would eventually match their words. See, you must understand as a black sheep, right? We have been counted out, underestimated, and just thrown in pits our whole life, right? Just for the most part, especially your early life, until you really understand your value. They were about action. But not only that, they were looking for small opportunities to even just start. They didn't care if it changed overnight, they just wanted to start down the road of improvements. Okay. And when you take a look back at a lot of the people that come to black sheets, because we have been known, we give what we didn't have. And one of the main things that black sheep never have really had a surplus, surplus of is support. We try to support our friends, whether it be your business, we try to support them through hard times. We want them to know we are here for you. But on countless occasions, I can't speak for you, but I can speak for myself. On countless occasions, when it was my turn to receive that same support, people they get gone, they too busy. As a black sheep, when people deplete your energy from all over the place, and you know, we just want to show people, hey, we're solid, we're here for you. We want to hear the things you got going on because we genuinely care about you. Okay, and this is when people start to look at you as a place where they can trauma dump. Every time something goes on, have you have if you've ever seen this pattern in your life, every time something is going on, and specifically on the negative side, here comes the same people coming to you because they need somewhere to trauma dump. And listen, it's trauma dumping when they don't want to do anything to change nothing, not even a small piece of it. Because at the end of the day, regardless if you resonate with being a black sheep or not, you must understand this one concept. To get something you never had, you must do something that you have never done. And most people want to talk about they want change, but they want to continue to stay the same, and it just don't make sense, it never adds up at all. Okay, and so when you see that you have a person that is they have a pattern of complaining and trauma dumping, but if you give them one suggestion, I'm talking about it could just be something so small and minute, but it has been nothing that they have tried, they instantly shut it down. They instantly don't want to do that. Why? Because they have decided that they just want to complain about it, they want to be validated about it, and then anytime their feathers are ruffled in that particular situation, they call you up again and complain and moan and groan about the same exact things that you try to give them one or two solutions on, and they shut them down instantly. And this is when you know you have someone, they don't want to change, they just want to complain, and they're wasting your time doing it. See now, one thing you must understand is, and I truly believe this, is that the creator gives us power to make the changes we need to make. This is what kept my hope alive when I came up in a small city outside the south side of Chicago. And I seen what my grandparents had built being from a Jim Crow South, they relocated to the Midwest in the 30s and 40s, right? And I saw what they built with sheer vision, discipline, consistency, and hard work ethic. Right? And so when I saw that, and then they gave me the foundation of Christ or the creator, it literally says, all throughout there, all throughout the book, don't have fear, number one, and I have great plans for you. It also says that you have more power in you than anything that's coming against you. So that lets me know there is something in me that I can tap in and do, and here's the cool part, here's the crazy part. God is so generous that He set up universal laws. So even if you say I'm not a believer, I don't believe that stuff. Okay, cool. There's still universal laws that says seed, time, and harvest. What does that mean? If you sow a seed and you take care of it in the time, you will grow something new. But the problem is, people don't want to do the work, and one thing you must understand is when you know and when the creator has given us so many tools, he hates complaining. The creator hates constant complaining because everything you need to shift in your life already exists inside of you, and it starts with the ability to decide. You already got the ability to decide. Next, the ability to learn, learn what you need to do or learn what the problem is, and then learn what you need to do to change that problem, right? It's like you got people running around now, they rather complain and protest about, let's say, for an example, minimum wages and Starbucks, right? You got all these people, they literally were um protesting Starbucks, talking about how much they're paying, okay? And then they want to say, Well, this is a billion-dollar company. Well, if you want to hold me accountable for starting my dream and going through the ups and downs of starting my dream, and now it's a billion-dollar brand that's employing people around the world. You want to complain about what you're getting paid and hold me accountable, but you won't hold yourself accountable and say, you know what? I'm worth more than being a barista. I'm not gonna argue with this company about paying me $20, I'm not gonna argue with this company about paying me $15. I'm going to have, I'm gonna take the ability to learn different skills so I can get myself a raise. See, this is the action that I've always taken. When I when I started off in hospitality management, I seen how everything was going, and don't get me wrong, guys, I thank the creator every day. I thank God every day that He gave me above average pay. But trust and believe, I started off with minimum wage just like a lot of people. But I realized there's so much more that you can gain, so much more in store if you look. So after that, I seen I was like, well, I was a manager for a while and that was cool, but then I got tired of working on every weekend and working on night because when you are involved in food, people want to eat all the time, and that's when I shifted towards manufacturing. I got a job at a pharmaceutical company, started at the bottom, and went on up to the top and got involved in supply chain management, and have been in supply chain ever since then, besides you know, getting into IT and um networking and just different things, but it always had a hand in supply chain because it's so many different opportunities. Now, what did I do there? I gave myself a raise. I gave myself a raise as well as a better schedule. So instead of begging the hospitality management company to give me weekends off when I know people want to eat all throughout the week, weekends included, and late nights, what did I do? I took the ability to learn how to apply and who else had other jobs. Then once I got into that company, I understand that I understood that I have the ability to adapt. To adapt to what? New environments, new people, new structures, new ways of doing things. You don't like where you're staying at? I didn't. When I another thing, when I stayed in the small city outside of Chicago, Southside, I saw that people were competing for low-paying jobs. It was so toxic. Guess what I did? I took the ability to move. I started learning. Where are some other cities at in the same area that I can still get back to my hometown within an hour or two? I started researching. That's how I ended up working at the pharmaceutical company because I took the ability to move and learn about different things, being able to adapt to different environments. But guess what? The creator also gives you the ability to create. Hey, listen, you can one with it however you want to, but let me tell you the main concept you need to take from that, regardless if you are a believer or not, and you can see it throughout the test of time. We are co-creators of the most high creator. What does that mean? We can create things. You don't like your job? Create a job. You don't like the fruits and vegetables at the store because they got all the pesticides? Create a garden. You don't like the curricula that they're teaching at the schools? Create your own curriculum. And the coolest thing ever about the age that we're living in now is we have access to everything we need, and a lot of the things are free. This is why I want you guys to understand, ladies and gentlemen of the black sheep class. I want you to understand that most people out here that are complaining, they don't want change, they just want validation for them to stay the same and murmur and complain. Because you already have the power. But guess what? They won't even treat their self better. And the power is already within you. Everything you need to do the changes. A little bit at a time. But see, most people they're waiting on permission, they're waiting for motivation. Here's one of the big ones, they're waiting on perfect timing. You wouldn't believe how many people that I have talked to that were not black sheep. And when they see me making my moves and they're like, Oh, I'm so proud of you. They're saying all of these little things, you know. Man, how did you do all of these different things? And these are people that had all the support, all the resources, whether they had kids or not. If they had kids, they had people that would watch their kids at a low price or for free. But they didn't do anything. Why? I'm waiting on the perfect timing. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there's no such thing as perfect timing. You perfect the time that you have, you perfect the time that you have as you continue to make steps. And the last one is some people waiting on somebody to come save them. Listen, you know something? In this last presidential election, there was just so much going on. And like I've told people all the time, I've even broken down in my book about the BS, no BS guide to politics for the middleman, the underdogs, um, and the misfits. Number one, there's no human being on earth that's all good or all bad. So when we get to these presidential campaigns, any type of election, you got all of this, um, we got all of this um personality and character bashing. That's all they want to do is bash, bash, bash. That's all they want to do is bash people character. But see, what you must understand is as a black sheep, everybody counts you out. They don't they don't pick you as their prime choice. Matter of fact, a lot of people hated on you for no reason. You know why? Because you have the ability to make decisions that's best for you for long term. You're not looking for a popularity vote, you're not looking for validation, and a lot of people, what I realized was they don't want accountability, they want a perfect president, they are waiting on the perfect presidential candidate to come through, and then they're gonna say, Oh, we finally have our savior. But what I'm here to tell you, in the meantime, while you're waiting, life keeps passing by. Life just keeps passing you by, and you're still waiting for somebody to come save you. You know, complaining without action is called murmuring. Murmuring, and a lot of people don't understand that murmuring drains your energy. This is why I've really tried to cultivate a life of no complaining. Like I said, we're human, we get those moments when we're frustrated and we're tired of it, and we just need to get it out. Listen, get it out, and find you a good friend that you know can be there for you. But I want you to remain flexible to listen if they're giving you feedback, and don't get me wrong, a good friend absolutely will give you that time to outpour all of the problems that you have, right? Absolutely, but after a while, if they're a good friend, they don't want to see you hurting because when you're complaining about something, it's an indication that something is hurting you, something is unbalanced, and a good friend don't want to see you in that position, they don't want to see you that way. So a good friend should they should offer you solutions. But see, a lot of people they don't want solutions, they just want to complain and murmuring, and the reason why I have really tried to avoid complaining at all, because number one, it could be worse, but number two, it doesn't change anything. Murmuring is complaining without changing anything, and when you murmur, me personally, it makes me mad. Because if I'm talking about it, I want to see some changes. And if I haven't seen any change, if I haven't seen any changes, and I'm steady murmuring and complaining about it, listen to me very carefully. It's draining my energy, it weakens discipline, and it kills momentum, but not only that, it pisses you off. Let's just be real. It's just like if you keep telling your children, your spouse, your partner, your significant other, family members, if you keep telling them about a certain thing, hey, I'm in the bed by 8 30 p.m. I get up at 3 a.m. for work. Please. And they continue to just violate you. And you keep on telling them this the same thing. You're going on and on and on in circles with it. Guess what? It's going to come a time when you're going to get frustrated and aggravated because you like, listen, I have complained and reported and said and spoke up about this, and nobody's even paying attention. You're going to get upset. So this is why I try to keep complaining and murmuring at a minimal, at a minimum, right? Because it really kills that momentum. It really does drains your energy. And that's why it drains your energy because a lot of times it pisses you off. And it really keeps people emotionally focused on problems instead of solutions. That's why some people stay stuck for decades. Not because opportunities never existed, but because complaining becomes more comfortable than responsibility. Now let's go deeper. Some people love talking about the business, the podcast, the goals, the dreams, but they never execute anything. Because action tells the truth, not conversations. See, everybody says they want a better life, but a few people build it. See, if you understand that you are a co-creator, when you truly understand that you are a co-creator, you understand that you gotta build it. You must build the thing that you want. Okay. Some people are actually addicted to excuses. And they're they're dangerous because excuses and complaining, it becomes it sometimes, they sound intelligent, right? People start saying, I'm waiting until things calm down, I'm waiting until I have more money, I'm waiting until I feel confident to make the changes. But the truth is, most con most confidence, it happens after the movement, not before movement, after. And if you keep feeling, if you keep wait waiting to be ready and feeling like you're ready, you may never move at all. Here's the black sheep difference. See, black sheep cannot afford to live inside a constant complaint mode because leaders never because leader leaders solve problems. Builders, they're gonna build it anyway. They know it's gonna be something that's gonna go wrong, but they're gonna do it anyway. And some and at some point, people call to purpose understand something very important. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is coming to save you. And at some point, you have to make the decision, not a wish list, not a vision board. I love vision boards, but you have to make the decision, and the decision creates the movement. Now, sometimes people stay stuck because change requires accountability. See, this is why on the podcast I tell folks listen, if you're not if you're allergic to accountability, don't even stop by here. Why? Because accountability is uncomfortable, and a lot of people would rather stay stuck because they don't want you saying nothing to them. See, once you realize your choices matter, you can no longer blame everybody else for your life. Some people want to blame the government, other people, other countries, they want to blame everybody except their self. And when you understand that you can no longer blame nobody else except you, it's a powerful realization, but it's also scary. Why? Because the responsibility now is shifts back to you, and when a lot of people understand, man, it's all on you, it's all on you, they get nervous. They do. So let's talk about these three black sheep action moves that you can take starting today, right now. Number one, replace one complaint with one action. Every time you catch yourself complaining, ask, what can I actually do about this? Like, what can I do to make this better? You know, if you if you're frustrated with the scale going up, ask yourself, what can I do? What can I? I mean, one small step can change many things. Number two, stop announcing everything. See, build quietly. A lot of times when you want to change something, because change is hard, it's always harder to go up than to come down. That's just the law of inertia and the laws of gravity. It's coming, it'll come down fast, right? So when you understand that going up and changing, it is harder, but it's worth it because life is hard. You got to choose your heart. And when you know you have things that you continue to complain and talk about, that is a point of pain and frustration. So that should be an indicator that this is something I need to really think about changing. But guess what? Change is never easy. So to make the ride a little bit more soft for you, build it quietly, change one thing at a time. Don't start announcing, oh, I'm making this, I'm doing that. No, build it quietly, just start changing one thing at a time. Don't tell nobody nothing. Execute more than you explain. See, I always tell the black sheets, and this is if you're a black sheep or not, but specifically for my black sheets and my misfits and underdogs, people already been counting you out. They already been competing and comparing with you, and uh, and just truth being told, a lot of people they don't believe in you and they don't want to see you win. Because if you win, they know they have nothing else to hold, nothing but those explanations or excuse me, excuses that they have. So they'll try to sabotage your success to continue to validate their nothingness. Okay, build quietly, let them see it, it's done. By the time they hear about it or see it, you way down the road. They can't even catch up at all. Number three, make one decision today, not tomorrow, today, because your future changes the moment your decisions do. Remember that you can change your mind instantly about something, and if it's something that you don't like in your life and you've been complaining about it and you know it's not serving you, make the decision, start today and say, you know what, not anymore. This is not acceptable. We're changing it starting today. Black sheep, complaining about the problem does not make you powerful, building the solution does, and I want you to know this you already have more power than you think, but power without movement changes nothing. So stop waiting, no more complaining, stop talking yourself out of out of your future, stop dimming your life down to make other people comfortable and make the decision that your future will be grateful for. Until the next time, keep in mind, my friends information is everywhere, but execution is rare. Take care.