What I Didn't Know
What I Didn't Know is the unfiltered space where we explore the hard-earned lessons life throws our way - especially the ones no one warned us about. From the quiet ache of grief, the messy magic of motherhood, intrusive thoughts, deep friendships, sex, singlehood, marriage, to pregnancy, we get real about everything in between. Hosted with heart, honesty, and a little humor - this podcast is for anyone who's ever said "Why didn't someone tell me this?"
What I Didn't Know
Good Grief
The moment my father died in a car accident, I became two different people—the person I was before grief and the person I became after. What caught me completely by surprise wasn't just the emotional devastation, but how grief literally reshaped my physical body.
Within a year of losing my dad, I developed diabetes and celiac disease—conditions my doctor directly linked to the physical stress of unresolved grief. My body was in constant fight-or-flight mode, my immune system compromised, my sleep disrupted. I discovered grief isn't just sadness—it's a full-body experience that science shows can trigger heart problems, immune dysfunction, and chronic inflammation.
The hardest emotion wasn't sadness but anger. How could I be furious at someone for dying? My therapist helped me understand that all emotions in grief are valid, even the uncomfortable ones we'd rather not acknowledge. Through therapy, supportive friends, and establishing boundaries (like not drinking on difficult anniversary dates), I slowly found my way forward.
What saved me was finding ways to maintain a relationship with my father despite his physical absence. I talk to him, honor his memory through cultural traditions like Día de los Muertos, and believe he still shows up for me in meaningful ways—like when I dreamed he warned me about my car's bald tires, which turned out to be dangerously worn when I checked them the next day.
Whether you're grieving a death, relationship, job loss, or any significant change, please know your physical symptoms deserve attention and your emotional journey deserves compassion. With therapy, medical care when needed, and gentle self-compassion, healing is possible. Not because the grief ever truly ends, but because we learn to carry it differently—honoring our loved ones by living fully, just as they would want us to.
Hi and welcome to what I Didn't Know, a space for the lessons that caught us by surprise. I'm your host, zenia, and I'm inviting you to sit with me in the messy, magical things about life, where we talk about grief, motherhood, healing, identity and everything in between. This is not about having all the answers. It's about honoring the questions. So grab a cafecito or something to drink, take a deep breath and let's get into it. Hi and welcome to the first episode of what I Didn't Know. I'm so glad you can join me and I know it's been a little bit longer and all the fun stuff, but I'm so excited to record, I'm so excited to be back on the podcast world, as I love journal journalism and I love talking and expressing and all the fun stuff. So here I go again. I would like to tell you a little bit about this podcast and where the idea for it came, just so that you know a little bit about it and you can get into it, like I am. So what I didn't know is just basically an idea that came to my mind because of all the things I didn't know and I had to learn through life, through heartaches, through all the wonderful things that happen to us. So, yeah, I just kind of want to talk about the things that I've learned as an adult, but also I want to talk to other people. Know, learn something before you get there, because I think we all need that process of learning and getting to know ourselves. But maybe, with what I've learned and with some other people that I'm going to talk to learn, we can help you just get through what you're learning. How about that? So I'm so glad you're here. Thank you so much for listening. I'm super excited. This has been such a journey for me to start this podcast, just because I'm a new mom and I, honestly, have just been scared to do this on my own and yeah, so today I decided no more being scared. So one of the things I'm learning is to be brave. So you guys have to bear with me and be kind with me and be kind.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, the first topic I want to talk about for this episode, which is the first episode, and I think the reason why I chose this topic is because, honestly, it has been the topic that I've learned the most from and the thing that has changed me more as a person. So I'm going to talk about grief. And for those of you who don't know me, I am an only daughter, but I am not an only child. I have four brothers. So I consider myself a big time daddy's girl and about eight years ago I lost my daddy in a car accident and that was one of the most, um, brutal and terrible things that had I had ever gone through.
Speaker 1:At that, to this day, I'm gonna say to this day, and I feel like, um, there was a me before grief and there's a a me before, I mean after grief, and and I I think it's so important because up until I got to that moment I didn't realize, oh, oh, my gosh, it's such a big deal. And I think when you haven't lost somebody, you never, you don't think, you don't think about it. You can only imagine what a person's going through when they've lost a loved one, right? So I remember always saying I am so sorry for your loss, I am so sorry for your loss, and I deeply felt sorry for people's losses. I deeply felt for them. I could imagine myself without a family member and felt sad and felt a little. You know just, I felt bad. But up until you feel that grief, I don't think you can really understand the feeling.
Speaker 1:So when it was, like I said, it was a car accident, it was sudden, um there, there's just a lot of things behind that. Um, my dad and our family, we had a little issue and I'll get into those things later in a different episode of other things I've learned about that. But I think that, like I said, I'm a big time daddy's girl, and I say I am because I have learned that in my grief journey. I have learned that I have to live in a relationship with my dad as he's still around and I know he's not around physically and he's not around in person, but I feel him and I'll tell you guys a little story about that, um, before I close the episode. I have a couple stories about him, but, um, one of the things I learned about grief through my experience was that grief is something that not only affects your emotional health, but it also affects everything you are.
Speaker 1:And grief doesn't only come as, oh, I lost somebody, the loss of a family member, the loss of a loved one or friend. That's not death. Grief is not only death. I think that grief comes in many forms. We can be grieving um, a relationship we can grieve a move. We can grieve so many things and I feel like it affects us all in in similar ways and and it feels so yucky at the moment of the grieving right. So I know that I am specifically talking about the loss of my dad, as he passed away, but when I talk about grief in general, I'm not talking just about people passing away. I'm also talking about losing relationships, I'm talking about losing jobs, you know, just grieving those things, that that we lose, that that we were excited about, that we wanted to learn more about and so, yeah, let's talk about it. So one of the things I thought was very important and I really, really wanted to get into when it comes to this grief talk is I wanted to talk about how, you know, grief can affect your physical body as well, and this is something that I had to learn as I dealt with it.
Speaker 1:So my dad passed away and for the first year of that process, I remember just crying, eating a lot because I binge eat to deal with my emotions and crying some more. So that's how I was dealing with my grief. I didn't have a partner at the time. I had a lot of amazing friends that I don't know where I would be without them to this day. And you guys, I've told you so many times and you know who you are.
Speaker 1:But I just remember getting up and crying, showing up to work late or not showing up at all. I remember just binge eating. I was hungry all the time. I lived in a constant, a constant, just fear of everything. So I was anxious. I felt my first panic attack ever. I had never felt anxiety before. I think I had, I just didn't have a word for it. And then, when grief happened, I understood what anxiety and panic attacks were. Because my body was just in flight, flight or fight. My body was just in flight, flight or fight, fight or flight mode all the time, like I. I just was always stressed, always anxious, I. I just never felt comfortable in in, in anything I did, in anywhere I was Um, I just always was just tense, um. And I remember just calling out of work all the time and thankfully at the time I had a job where they were really understanding and they were, they were kind, but I think at one point my boss was like, hey, you got to get it together, um, but honestly, one of the things that I always will struggle with is I got five days of bereavement out of work and I I couldn't go back like I I remember it was five days, it was a week and I was just like not ready to be anywhere where people were, and so I don't know that's an another topic that I'm just so that it makes me so angry.
Speaker 1:There are people that go through terrible losses. They lose a partner, they lose a child, they lose a parent, and we're asking them as a society to suck it up and go back to work within a day or two or five days. This company was five days if you had to travel outside of the of the city to to be with that person to say your goodbyes. But you know, it's grief is such a big thing and I'm not saying give me three months. I mean, yes, I'm saying give me three months, but you know, three months would have not been enough for me. A year would have not been enough for me, because I just, first of all, didn't know what grief was, first of all, didn't understand what was happening, but at the same time, it was like I had to. We have to go back as a society after a big loss. We have to go back to working. We have to go back to hey here, get back, get back to your life. You I'm sorry that your dad passed away, your, your family member passed away, but life goes on and I think that that was one of the hardest things, like thinking about life going on without my dad was just something that I just couldn't imagine, couldn't even think about. Like, how do you, how do you go on without the people that are most important to your life? And just to tell you a little bit about the relationship with my dad, like I said, I'm an only girl of four boys and I spent every minute of every day if I could with my dad.
Speaker 1:My dad and I listened to music together. We talked on the phone because he didn't live um near us. He traveled a lot for his work. So since he traveled all the time, like my dad and I talked on the phone two to three times a day. We, um, we were best friends. We texted each other silly pictures of like memes and we told each other jokes and I, if I found a new song, I'd be like, oh my gosh, you have to listen to the song. It's so good. And we had the same taste in music. I basically had his taste. I have his taste in music and, um, if, if I found a new band that I thought he would like, I would always be sending it to him and I was teaching him how to use Spotify and you know all these things.
Speaker 1:Like my dad and I talked all the time and we just had such a big, he was such a big part of my everyday life and I think, you know, once he was gone, it was like, okay, wait, um, I need to call him, I need, I need to talk to him. It's's morning, I need to remind him about his medication, I need to do this, I need to do that. But you know, you just have to move on. Like, life goes on and I think, like I was saying, you know, going back to that, how do you go on? So one of the things that I realized was that something was different in my physical body as I was going through the pain of grieving my father, and I didn't understand what it was. So I just knew I felt different and obviously I could tell that I had put on weight and I understood where that weight was coming from.
Speaker 1:Like I said, I was just eating and not doing much for myself. I was just sitting there eating and crying and not really taking care of who I was. So I just remember, like at that time I was, I had two jobs. I was, um, a receptionist and I was Ubering to kind of try to help and get stuff um where they needed to be caught up. And I remember just being like something's not right and I my dad was a diabetic and so I knew that I had diabetes and I was just like, well, duh, like it's because of this, is because of that. And so now I went from grieving to being mean to myself for grieving, right. So, like, not only was I like, oh wait, you're just going through this horrible thing and you don't know what to do with yourself, but now you're going to be mean to yourself because you're overeating. And so I just kind of was all over the place.
Speaker 1:I went and talked to my doctor and I said I think I have diabetes and she said, oh, why do you say that? So you know, I was going to the bathroom. All the time I had to go to the bathroom. All the time I had to pee. All the time I had to, I had to, um, go to the bathroom all the time. I had to pee all the time, all the time, all the time, and I knew that was one of the symptoms. Um, I was getting really tired. I, you know, I, just I, I felt off and I was just like I, I think it's it's just diabetes. I think that's how my dad started and, sure enough, my blood sugar levels were crazy. When she checked them and she was like, yeah, we need to put you on diabetic medication, like as soon as possible. Like you could be going to the hospital, like you need this needs to change. So I was like, all right, let's get on medication and let's try to figure it out. Let's get on medication and let's try to figure it out.
Speaker 1:So through that journey, I started seeing a therapist and she started telling me things like hey, you know, grief affects not only your, your emotional self, but it also affects your physical self. And I was like, wait, what do you mean? So, when what she described to me is when you don't have a hold of your grief, when you don't know what to do with your grief, when you don't have an outlet, that's when the problems can begin. So grief can affect so many aspects of your life and I went ahead and found some articles about it and I'm going to go off of these articles and read a little bit of like the different things that grief can affect in your body, and so a few of the things is like grief affects your nervous system and hormones so badly so, like I said, I was in fight or flight mode all the time. So one of the things that grief can do is trigger that fight or flight mode all the time. So one of the things that grief can do is trigger that fight or fight or flight mode all the time. It increases cortisol and it leads to a lot of anxiety and tension. Let's see.
Speaker 1:Another thing is heart and cardiovascular systems. So it can raise your blood pressure and heart rate. It can lead to broken heart syndrome. That's a I'm gonna research that one because I didn't know it's and it says this is stress-induced heart failure. Can you believe that? Um, higher risk of heart attacks or stroke, especially shortly after loss. So yeah, and then immune system suppresses immune function, increases illness risk. Reduces natural killer cell activity. Increases inflammation linked to chronic disease diseases, pains and fatigues sleep appetite causes insomnia. Oversleeping triggers appetite changes. Like I said, I was overeating. It can lead to weight gain or loss, can cause extreme fatigue or mental fog. I totally was fatigued all the time and my mental capacities just seemed so like not um, there, um, and it can. It can disrupt your digestion, may cause nausea, stomach issues. It can alter your gut microbiomes, which can impact your mood and immunity, may lead to chest pains, joint aches and headaches. Isn't that crazy? I didn't know any of this when my grief journey started. Like I had no clue that any of this could happen. Well, I went to the doctor and I just had this like inflammation going on. I just didn't know what it was. She ran a bunch of tests and then turns out that, due to my anxiety and the grief that I was not dealing with, I got celiac disease. What so? Before that, before my dad passed away, before all that fun stuff, all that stuff happened.
Speaker 1:I have had an allergic reaction to a medication that, like I needed, um, an epi pen for and it was just ridiculous. Like I, I didn't know it was allergic to medication. I took it three times um, didn't think anything of it until, like, I almost couldn't breathe and I had to have some shot for it. So then she, my doctor, was like, hey, let's try to figure out what's going on with your body, like this is not normal. You're probably allergic to something. And so she sent me to the allergist and we ran a bunch of tests and one of the tests that she ran was gluten allergy. She's like sometimes, you know, gluten can really trigger things. And I was like, okay, cool, and at that time I did not have a gluten allergy.
Speaker 1:And that was like I'm gonna say, about a year, a year or two before my dad passed away, and then a year after my dad passes away, um, having just weird symptoms, just weird things going on in my body. And then she's like, you know what, let's, I'm gonna do another. I feel like this is, it's either an iron something or a gluten allergy. And I was like, but we really, we already ruled out gluten allergies. And she said, yeah, but grief and stress and anxiety can cause so many things. And I was like, wait, what? She's? Like, yes, so, um, they can cause your immune system to go a little nuts and cause things like gluten allergies or different types of allergies. Or you know, I was like, oh, cool, okay, and yeah, sure enough, I had a, I had an allergy, and I cut off gluten from my diet and it helped.
Speaker 1:So I was on the up and up and one of the things that was just what I once, once I figured out hey, let's get this diabetes thing under control, let's get this celiac things under control. What is going on within me? How can I? How can I change it? How can I, how can I live with a grief but also live because I wasn't living? And I think that everybody grieves so differently. We all, we all grieve in in so many different ways. Some people, some people are so like yeah, this happened and, um, it sucks, but let's push through it. And, man, I wish I could be one of those people. But this loss took me for a loop. I didn't know how to handle it. I couldn't. I just couldn't handle this loss and I let all of it just take over me. And, yeah, it made me really sick.
Speaker 1:And also, at the same time, I was thinking about my dad and thinking, hey, I know that he would hate to see me this way. He would hate if I was sick. He never liked any of his kids being sick. He never liked any of his of his people to to be sufferings. He was a really good man, so I was like all right, dada, I'm doing this for you, I'm going to get my life in order, I'm going to get healthier, I'm going to watch what I eat, I'm going to get my diabetes under control and live for you, because I know he wanted us to have, he wanted his kids to have a long life. I know he, he wanted us to be okay, and so I went to therapy and, thanks to therapy, I was able to come up with that, you know, like that solution. Hey, your dad would have not wanted you to to be miserable. He would want you to to to live and and live well, and I, I know that for a fact.
Speaker 1:Um, one of the other things that I learned in therapy was that I was really sad about my dad passing away, but also was really angry about my dad passing away. I felt like he had left me, like he just up and left, you know, and that was an emotion that was hard, harder to to deal with and harder to to come to terms with, because I know it wasn't his fault, I know he didn't want to leave me. I know he, he, he wanted to stay. I know he, he loved me and he loved my, my, my siblings and my mom and his siblings. And I know that that's not what he wanted, but when you're in that grief mode, you don't think straight right Like you're just like heck. No, he left me, I'm mad at him, and that was a feeling that was overwhelming for me and I think that was the feeling that was the hardest to deal with for me, that I felt so angry that my dad had left me when I knew better, when I knew that he didn't want to leave me, that that was not what he was trying to do. So, as difficult as it was, I really worked on it.
Speaker 1:One of the things that for me and I think grieving and going through this grief process is different for every single person, so this is just what worked for me okay, but what worked for me was thinking about my dad as somebody that wasn't physically here but was spiritually here. Energy doesn't die, so I just remember thinking, okay, he's not physically present with me, but I can talk to him and I can say dad, I'm mad at you, dad, I love you, dad, I miss you, and to this day, I talk to him. As he's here, I talk to his pictures, I I always have a picture of him on my phone and he he was missing for a lot of the things that he should have not been missing in my life and and it was very difficult um, I wanted him to walk me down the aisle and I wanted him to do a first dance with me a daddy, daddy, daughter dance with me when I got married to the love of my life. And I wanted him to meet my children. I have a baby now and he didn't really get to meet him in person, but I know that he knows my child and I know that, in a way, he picked my husband for me and sent him my way. So, yeah, that's how I learned to deal with my grief and just that idea that my dad wasn't gonna be around anymore, um a couple.
Speaker 1:There's so many things that you can do for for grief and, like I said, grief doesn't only mean the lost, like the physical loss of somebody, but it's also like loss of um jobs, relationships, anything you've. You felt like you've lost and you're grieving. You can, you can try to heal from it and I think that's like what's the most important thing for me, and I also found some strategies for healing, um, and some of these I tried. Some of these I haven't tried, but I'm down to try them. Um, so this one was very important for me and and this is what I just talked about which was allow all emotions. None are wrong. I didn't want to allow the anger in my life, because how can you be mad at somebody that's passed right, but it was important for me to acknowledge that I was mad at him, that that was something that I was feeling and that was completely valid. So once I allowed myself to feel that anger and be angry and and and be like okay, um, let's move on from this, because even though I was really, really angry with him, I still love him with all my heart.
Speaker 1:Um, one of the things is like set aside daily grief time to journal. I did not do this, but this is so smart because I feel like I wish I could have just like, because I was so, um what's the word? I was so in deep in that grief that I was like, oh man, like I couldn't see past that. So maybe if I could have just been like, I'm to set this time for grieving, maybe at night or in the morning and I could have just journal about it and speak to my loved one. That's what it says here. So, like group time to journal, reflect or speak to your loved one, which I think it's great. So, even if you know you're grieving like a job, a relationship, you can kind of just talk to the universe Prior. Like a job, a relationship, you can kind of just talk to the universe.
Speaker 1:Um, prioritize self-care. This is something I learned a long time after, because I, you know, self-care has always been a little bit difficult for me. Um, but stick to a regular routine sleep, meals, movement, exercise, gently walking is amazing to release stress. Eat nourishing foods and try to get restful sleep. That's amazing. This is super important and I think this, um, this saved me and it's connect and seek support.
Speaker 1:Talk to trusted friends or family, join support groups. I didn't join a support group, I just didn't think about it, but that is such a good idea. Um, communicate, communicate clearly about what kind of comfort you need. So I think that's also really important, because sometimes I just wanted somebody to hear me, I didn't want advice, I just wanted to complain, and and I could tell my friends hey, I don't. I just want to complain. I just want to tell you I'm mad at this. I'm mad at friends. Hey, I don't, I just want to complain. I just want to tell you I'm mad at this, I'm mad at the world, and or I could tell my therapist. So those are pretty cool. If you find a support group for the things that you're going through, I think that's amazing. Seek therapy, that's therapy. I stand firm on therapy. I think we all, regardless of what we've been through, need therapy, so it's super important.
Speaker 1:Use rituals and creative expressions, create memory books, cook favorite meals or write letters. Oh, I love that. Create memory books is so cool, so that would be like a really awesome thing to do. Do I'm going to talk to my brothers about that? Um, cook favorite meals? I am a terrible cook, but my dad did teach me how to make these awesome huevos rancheros and I make those often, and every time I make them, I think of him. So, yeah, um, practice meaningful cultural or spiritual ceremonies. Uh, yes, so I am mexican and I am a firm believer in day of the dead, dia de los muertos, so we do put up an altar for my dad and like our loved ones that had passed away and I do try to always have like his favorite foods and his favorite treats. My dad loved marshmallows, that was his thing, and those orange gummy things that was his like. He could eat those non-stop. He wasn't allowed because he had diabetes, but he still did it. He's naughty. Practice.
Speaker 1:Self-compassion oh, I think this one's so important. Um, be kind to yourself. Healing isn't linear. Yes, try um, breathe, breath work, sorry, meditation or yoga, look for meaning or growth over time. Oh my gosh. Yes, self-compassion oh my gosh, this is so important and it's so key and I think in any part of healing, for whatever you're going through, self-compassion is so, so, so, so important. Like sometimes I think we're our worst enemies and sometimes we're just are the meanest. Like I say things to myself that I would never say to my friends, and I have been trying so hard to be, to be nice to myself and and definitely have some compassion for myself, recognize when to get help. Oh, this one, okay.
Speaker 1:So one of the things that I was really concerned about because I like to have a margarita or two here and there and one of the things I was very, very concerned about was, um, just getting myself into some sort of trouble with alcohol and I knew that that's not the path I wanted to go to. So I was like, okay, your goal for this, this is the. This is one of the things that the, the one of the first things I established after realizing that I was grieving is, um, I didn't drink on sad days, so I didn't drink on my dad's birthday. I didn't drink on my dad's birthday. I didn't drink on my dad's anniversary of his death. I didn't drink when I was missing him. I didn't drink on like things that were sad about him, like that margaritas with my friends for fun things, because I just didn't want to go down that path of like, oh hey, you've lost your dad and then now you are putting yourself in a place where you're gonna hurt your family even more because they've are. We were all going through it.
Speaker 1:So I was trying really hard to stay away from anything um that could get me in trouble see a doctor or physical um for physical symptoms or mental health support, which is so, so, so important. I think one of the, the things that um, I can say I'm proud of myself was for just being self-aware, um, and aware enough of what was happening in my body aware enough of, like, the things that I was feeling, knowing my body enough to know that something wasn't right. So I could get diagnosed with the celiac disease, so I could also have therapy and I could, you know, just get the help that I needed when I needed it. And these just were like such good stepping stones for me to get to a better place. And, um, not that, not that grief has gone, because I don't think grief will ever leave. I don't think I will ever stop missing my dad. I think the more time passes by, the harder it gets to think about how much I haven't seen him and how I don't have new pictures of him, you know. So anytime I find a picture I haven't seen in a long time, I get so excited, um. So, yeah, that anyway one of the one of the biggest things you know seek help, um, just get get yourself checked out, know who you are, remember that sometimes grief can make things worse and we don't want that. So, yeah, and I wanted to share a couple things about my dad before I end this episode, and just at the beginning I did say that I do believe he's here with me at all times. So do you want to share.
Speaker 1:Um, just this, this story that happened to me recently, um, about my dad. I had, um, I dream about my dad often, but I do have a one-year-old and I have, um, I have this. My car's not super old, it's like a 2016, but I stink at keeping an eye on my tires and stuff like that, and so, like, I didn't really check my tires. I knew that I was due for tires at one point, but it hadn't really been in the back of my mind because there's no snow and it's summertime, so I just kind of didn't think about it. So a couple of weeks ago I think about a month ago or so um, I had a dream about my dad and we were in back in California, where I grew up, and and it was like I was in in an old car that we used to have. Like it was an old Thunderbird, that was like this beautiful pearl color and I love that car, no, but it was like, uh, it was a long time ago that we had that car and my dad was.
Speaker 1:I was driving that car and my dad was driving behind me and he honked at me and made me stop and, like I said in my dream I was like back in California and I was like 1920, like back in those days. And he stopped me and he's like, look at your tires. They're completely gone, like they're flat. And I was like, oh yeah, I should change them. Huh, and he was like you should change them yesterday, like why haven't you changed your tires? How can you be having the baby in that car? Like your tires are so bad? And I was just like what baby? And he was like the baby, like how can you have the baby in the car? And I was like what, what baby? And he was just like your baby and I was like so confused because in my dream I was 20 years old and I didn't have a baby at 20 years old.
Speaker 1:So I woke up and I was like, oh, I need to change my tires. So, sure enough, the next day I went to the tire shop and I was like I need to change my tires and the guy checked my tires and he was like, oh my gosh, your tires were so bad. So I think that was my dad's way of telling me go change your freaking tires, because my grandson cannot be driving in that car. So I 100% believe that that was my dad sneaking into my dream to to yell at me about my tires. So, yeah, um, he comes to me and and things like that. You know, I often think about him and and I, and, and that's why I say that he's always with me and I think he's not far from us. So, yeah, I also believe I don't know if you guys have ever seen the movie Coco. If you haven't, you should, because it's a great movie. In the movie Coco they say how your loved ones are never really gone if you continue to remember them, if you always remember them, and I 100% believe this is true.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to tell you a funny story about my dad. So my dad, he spoke English, he knew how to get around in his English, but you know, he couldn't say all the words and he couldn't fully communicate, but he always, he always tried and he always did his best and he was so brave. So one day I'm home from school and he gets home and he says, hey, how do you say house, like manguera? I was like oh, house. He was like oh, manguera. How do you say culebra? And I was like culebra, well, snake. And he was like oh, and I was like what happened? And then I look at his hand and he has like a big bandage on his like fingers and I was like what happened? Did you get bitten by a snake? And he was like no, and I was like dad, what happened?
Speaker 1:So then he proceeds to tell me that he had gone to the gas station and his, his tire, oh, tires. His tire was a little flat and so he decided that he was going to pump some air in it. Um, but when he went to go grab the air, the air hose thing, um, it had two little like metal things off of it and when he pressed on it, they, the things like came out and like um kind of just went into his finger on his like like both on one on each finger, and he was like um bleeding. And so he goes into the store to tell the person at the cash register hey, that hose is like dangerous, look what it did to me. But you know he was chill about it.
Speaker 1:Um, apparently the lady had some kind of fear of um snakes, something I don't know, but my dad didn't know how to say oh. So he said the snake by the air pump, it got me on my fingers. So the lady's freaking out, calling 9-1-1, just like not knowing what to do, and my dad's like, okay, thank you, and walks out and she's like, no, no, no, don't leave. Like we don't know what kind of snake or where it is, and he was like, yeah, the snake in the air, blah, blah, blah. And so he just gets in the car and leaves and he says that as he's going away he sees like fire trucks and ambulances. And then he's like as he gets home he's like, oh my gosh, I think those were for me. I think she called the ambulance and the fire trucks because she thought I got bitten by a snake and she was just like terrified. So we laughed so hard about that and then I tried to go back to explain to the lady what had happened, but I never was able to find her, which I feel really bad about, but at the time was really funny. Just, he would always do silly things like that. So, yeah, that's a funny story about my dad that you guys can share, um, and just kind of laugh with us, because we did laugh all the time. And anytime you hear a Bee Gees song, you can think about my dad, because he loved the Bee Gees. That was his favorite and I listened to Bee Gees all the time.
Speaker 1:So to close this first episode and to kind of wrap it up, and um, just I want to say grief sucks, no matter what kind of grief it is. Um, it sucks and no matter how, how it just does. But there is living through it and there is moving through it and there is a lot of learning through it and I have learned so much about who I am and how strong I am and how wonderful it is to have amazing friends and people in my life and what a blessing it is to have surrounded myself with great people. So if you're going through some sort of grief, whatever that may be, I just want you to know that if I can get here and we can get, I can get through it, then you can do it too. And, no matter what, you're not alone, there's always somebody around you. If that can help you. Um, like, like you know, like there it was suggested to us therapy is a great option. Um groups that can help you with the grief that you're dealing with, family members that you can trust, um, doctors, please, please, please, um, I know grief can take a big toll on a lot of people and it can make us do crazy things, but but if we can learn to heal ourselves through it, we can make it. We got this, we're so strong and we can make it. So that's it on grief.
Speaker 1:I'm coming up with more episodes. I hope you like this episode. Please, please, let me know what you think about it, what other things you would like me to talk about, and, like I said, I'm going to have friends and people come and hang out with me so we can have conversations about different topics that I have learned and other people have learned. So if you want to talk about something that you have learned that you think other people would benefit from, I would love to have a conversation with you. Please, please, please, find me on Instagram, facebook and TikTok and we'll talk about it.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to my first episode, thank you for sticking with me, and we'll see what comes up with the next episode. I hope you have a wonderful day where, whenever you're listening to this, I hope it makes you feel better. I hope you know you're loved and I hope that we can have you back to more episodes, and I love you so much and you're the best. Have a good day Bye. Thanks for spending time with me. If today's episode sparked something in you, I'd love to hear about it and remember there's wisdom in what we didn't know. Until next time, take care of your heart. I love you. Bye.
