A Woman's Power "Unfiltered" With Victoria E Strange

Toxic Energy: Protecting Your Peace

• Victoria E Strange • Season 1 • Episode 12

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Protecting your peace when faced with people who aren't on your side is crucial for your wellbeing, especially during difficult times like grief. Victoria shares her personal experience of dealing with negative energy and unsupportive people while mourning her father's death and taking on new responsibilities.

• Not everyone likes us or roots for us, which can be especially painful when it comes from friends, colleagues, or family
• Victoria shares her experience of defending her late father's memory and generous nature against jealousy and criticism
• Dealing with negative people during grief adds extra weight to an already difficult situation
• When people show they're not on your side, believe them and stop wasting energy trying to prove them wrong
• Someone's negative behaviour reflects them, not you
• Protect your inner peace by detaching emotionally, setting boundaries, and limiting access
• Redirect your focus to people who support you and build a network of safety nets
• Give yourself permission to not tolerate negativity or feel responsible for fixing difficult people
• Protecting your peace isn't weakness—it's power, leadership, and how you rise
• Ask yourself: "Who do I need to stop giving power to right now?"

My DMs are always open if you need support. Thank you for all your messages about the podcast—they truly mean so much to me.


Speaker 1:

Hello everyone. It's Victoria here. Welcome back to another episode of A Woman's Power, unfiltered. So before I dive into this week's ep, I just want to say a huge thank you. Thank you so much for all the messages that you have been sending about the pod. Honestly, I cannot even tell you I love reading them. I really really do so. Thank you so much, as, as you know, this podcast wasn't planned. It was something that I always wanted to do, but there was no plan for it, and it was the day oh gosh, it must have been a couple of months ago now. I was rebranding the Business Built With Strategy podcast and then I just thought, oh, I really want to do this. Other podcast Came up with the name A Woman's Power, unfiltered, which is very apt, and went for it, and it was the best decision, one of the best decisions I made, and I just want to say a huge thank you.

Speaker 1:

Right, let's get started. Let's get started on this week's ep, where we are talking about protecting your peace when people aren't on your side. That's a tough one, isn't it? Because we all want to think people are on our side. We do. We all want to think that people, all people, look like us. All people are on our side. We do. We all want to think that people, all people, look like us, all people are on our side, but the thing is that that isn't true. Not everyone likes us and not everyone's on our side and not everyone's rooting for us, and that's the real truth. Not everyone is. And it can sting, you know, especially when it's someone who is maybe a friend, maybe someone who is in your office. It could be anyone, could be a family member, but it really can sting when. When that happens, it's not nice, is it? So I am going to be talking about how it feels, how to deal with it, because that's the most important thing and how to protect your peace. And you know, I'm 45, and I don't think I realized really how important it was to protect your peace until I got into my 40s. It was to protect your peace until I got into my 40s, and then I, yeah, I really realized, I thought, yeah, that that's, that's very important. So I'm in a situation at the moment I'm not going to name no names, just the behavior and the energy which, in all honesty, is not very nice, and that's putting it extremely mildly.

Speaker 1:

As a lot of you know, I lost my dad 31st of January this year, which was my birthday, and my dad was. He was just everything. He was my, my hero. He was the most fantastic father. I couldn't have wanted for a better dad. I was very lucky and since then I found myself with immense responsibility, which is absolutely fine, um, but it's been a lot.

Speaker 1:

And also, I go into my dad's business every day as well as having my own business, and I've just been trying to keep myself mentally afloat because, in the situation that you know I'm in, that's quite difficult. Have I been doing it? Absolutely, I'm quite a tough cookie, but has there been people around me that have made this more difficult? Yes, there is one person. Well, actually there was two. There was one right at the beginning, and then there's another one that I see most days in the office, and it's made what I'm going through a lot tougher. I've made what I'm going through a lot tougher.

Speaker 1:

I've been put in the situation where I've had to defend my dad and wait for it. I've had to defend my dad because he was a giving person and cared about his family. I know how sick is that, because my dad cared so much about his family and he did a lot for us. He did. He was just one of those dads who wanted to know that his wife and his kids were OK, he was loving, he cared. Family was everything to him.

Speaker 1:

And this particular person is now saying that that is a negative. And, of course, as his daughter, I am his voice and I'm not going to let that be said because one it's untrue. How can you say that that's a negative when actually he was just the the most amazing father, husband and person. What that is is is sheer jealousy. How a person can be jealous of a person who isn't here anymore is just, it's just crazy in my eyes. But as his daughter, I have had to say no, that is not okay. And I mean when I'm talking about it, and even though that's happened, I'm still in disbelief that a person would think that that's okay.

Speaker 1:

So it's made the weight that I'm carrying a lot more, a lot more heavier, and it's drained me. Last week it drained me, it just completely drained me. Last week it drained me, it just completely drained me. And then I got to the Friday just gone and I just thought OK, come on, vic, you're such a strong person, you're such a tough cookie, you have to protect your inner peace. You're such a tough cookie, you have to protect your inner peace. If you've ever walked into a room and felt the air change because of one person, you'll know what I mean. So on that Friday, I guess it was a bit of a turning point in regards just to that situation.

Speaker 1:

You know, know, I can't make a person like me. I can't make a person's behavior or energy change. I can't and and that's okay, as long as it's not affecting me when people show you that they're not on your side, believe them, because they're probably not, and stop bleeding your own energy trying to maybe prove yourself wrong or prove them wrong, because, honestly, it is a waste of time, absolute waste of time. And the thing is, I always knew that this person didn't like me anyway, way before you know, my, my, my lovely dad passed away. I've known it probably since I've been a little girl, really. So I may you know I was okay with with that, I was fine.

Speaker 1:

But you do kind of think that that type of behaviour will stop in a situation like you know, like I'm in at the moment. And the thing is and it is a hard truth, but not everyone is meant to be in your corner, and a lot of people would say, yeah, but hang on a minute. Your dad's died, surely, but it? No. It doesn't work like that. And also I think you have a shift and I think you know this is what I thought on Friday their behavior is about them, it's not about me, it's not about my dad, it's not about me, it's not about my family. It literally is about them. And so therefore, I thought, okay, I really need to protect my inner peace here, because at the moment, I'm going to be going into that office, into my dad's business. So you detach emotionally, don't take their actions as a reflection on you, because they're not boundaries.

Speaker 1:

Boundaries are so important we have spoken about boundaries on the pod before. I can't even tell you they're so important. Limit access, limit conversations, protect your space you can do that, that's okay and redirect focus, put energy into yourself, your work, everything that you need to be doing, your family, your loved ones, the people who are around you, who do support you and I cannot even tell you I have the most amazing family, I have the most amazing friends, and that is the people that you need to be putting energy into, not the people who really couldn't give a shit about you. Build safety nets, supportive people, daily practices, reminders of who you are, are you know and what you're going to put up with. Permission. You don't have to tolerate it or fix it, just protect your energy.

Speaker 1:

Now, the core truth you can't control who reads for, but you can control how much power you give them. Protecting your peace. Honestly, it's the best thing you can do. It's not a weakness, it's actually a power. It's leadership and it's how you rise. Who do I need to stop giving power to right now? Maybe this is something that you can ask yourself who do I need to stop giving power to right now? And then go back to protecting peace. On the podcast, what I've just said boundaries, redirect, focus, build safety nets, permission. I hope you've enjoyed this week's ep. I really really do, and if it has helped you, then fantastic. My dms are always open, as always, and have a fantastic week. And again, thank you so much for all the messages that you've sent. Honestly, they mean so much to me. Take care, everyone. I'll speak to you next Monday.