How I Left Parliament And Found Meaning Helping Others

What if the best way to “win” at life is to take a completely sideways route? This week we’re joined by Henry Tapp from Suffolk Mind for a chat that’s equal parts funny, honest, and low-key life-changing.

Henry’s origin story? Rugby captain meets heavy-metal superfan. A university wobble, the kind that forces you to rethink everything.

We get behind-the-scenes stories from his time in Parliament: big dreams, tiny intern pay, chaotic commutes, and yes… office cricket. It was a crash course in the difference between status and substance — and it nudged him toward work that actually helps people. That path led him to connecting donors and businesses with charities, and eventually into the mental health space with Suffolk Mind.

We also talk about the sneaky way alcohol can drain your energy, why Henry hit pause on drinking, and how running became his reset button. He’s now training for the Brighton Marathon, using long miles to clear his head.

There’s burnout chat. Bold career quits. Supportive partners. And loads of practical ways to get involved in mental health without just writing a cheque.

Transcript

Meet Henry Tab Of Suffolk Mind

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Good morning, Jem.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Good morning, Nick. How are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Amazing.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Always.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

How are you?

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Marvellous.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

I don't know, I just saw your face. Anyway. Right, today. I know you're not going to do intro, so I'm not even going to offer it to you. Right, today we have a legend of Ipswich. Probably the second biggest figure when it comes to fundraising in the area. Yep. But the first biggest is kind of his boss. That's all right.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

No, I'd say I'm first.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Alright, there you go. Maybe the more.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

You can still put him first.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Well, we'll contest it over the podcast. Without further ado, from Suffolk Mind, Henry Tab. Woo! Woo, woo, woo. Thanks for having me. Morning, Henry.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

Welcome. Morning. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Finally.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

Yeah, it's taken too long.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

It's taken a while.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Haven't we been trying to book you for like months and just you're just always too busy? It's far too important. Deepest apologize.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

Apologies. Yeah, not too busy, just kind of kids and life and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Just go along and just be honest and say that honestly, you're about ninth on my priority list. Yeah, too. And eventually, I have to feel bad. You moved up on like the sympathy vote.

SPEAKER_03 1:22

No, my kids are ill today. I said that earlier. Yeah, he did. And um, I was not gonna move this morning. I was just it was set in stone, wanted to do it, been looking forward to it.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

I literally sorry, for the last two months, Jem's been going, honestly, if Henry cancels on me again, I'm never asking him ever again. Yeah, I can believe that. I I understand. So, Henry, we're not gonna put you on the spot because you have said like I've prepared nothing, which is great because everything's off the cuff. Have you ever listened to any of our podcasts?

SPEAKER_03 1:48

I have, yeah. In fact, I spoke to George Pennell yesterday. Okay. Um, and he was talking I've listened to his now. Oh, good. Nice. Um and I know an awful lot of people that have been on here. Yeah, it's amazing guests.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

So yeah, it's cool. But we obviously haven't hit the pinnacle because we've waited this long to get you. Well, clearly.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Obviously.

School, Dual Identity, And Early Passions

SPEAKER_00 2:05

Come on, then let's go all the way back to school. Yeah, because this is where we start everywhere. Yeah. So, how was school? Where did you go? You know we're gonna have a Stoke versus something or other debate going on.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

Well, you know, I'm not from Stoke. He's not from around here. So I'm I'm from Sussex, I'm a Sussex boy. I will always tell people I'm from Brighton because the town I'm from, which is Hayward Seath, most people haven't heard of. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

We're all looking a bit blank.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Everyone's like, well, it's basically a town in in the middle between Gatwick and Brighton. Okay. So on the London to Brighton line, most people would have heard of it because they're on a stag due to Brighton and they stop at the train station. It's something like that.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Pretty average. It's like I'm I'm guessing like if people aren't from this area, they go Manningtree. You go, where? And you go kind of between Colchester and Ipswich, and you just occasionally stop at the station.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

You fly past on the train.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

Just to save the grief, I just say Brighton. Yeah, okay. And Brighton's a really cool place. So Bright's a great place. Yeah. So I brought up there. My parents still live there, went to secondary school there, really enjoyed school. Actually, I'm one of those people. I'm not especially bright, but I'm quite hardworking. Right. So I got kind of okay grades, but I really had to grind and I had to work for it. And I was thinking about this on the way over here. So I was rugby captain at school. I still love my sport, still love my rugby. But equally, and you might know this from LinkedIn and stuff, I love my rock music. I mean some people refer to me as like a bit of a mosher. So I had this kind of duality at school, whereas I was kind of mates with I guess the outcasts and the moshers, and I was also rugby captain with the jocks and stuff. Okay. And both so it's like Gero's and jocks at the same time.

SPEAKER_04 3:37

That's a complete contrast.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

And it confused me to an extent. And there were these two friendship groups that it confused them. They were like, Why are you hanging with like the drop the jock guys? And it's like, well, I kind of have to, but I love Metallica and I love Iron Maiden. And so I kind of I guess quite a rare thing, but but generally speaking, mostly enjoyed school. I loved like hit my love of history and politics emerged at secondary school, an amazing Irish teacher. So that's where my interest from from that emerged. Went to six form college again. I kind of lost touch with sport a little bit. Girls, drinking, other things that everyone I think goes to.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Life thing gets in the way at that point, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_03 4:21

Exactly. Uh have no regrets, I don't think. Then I decided to do a degree in politics. Okay. And this is where kind of sliding doors moments enter your life. So I started at the University of Kent, which is where I met my wife. I was in a bit of a troubled way. Do we want a name dropper?

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Hi Hi Gem. Hi Gem. Not you, by the way. No, no, no, no. Not you. No, you've already had your husband on here. We can't have two husbands. I only have one husband. He's been on there, is it? Yeah, yeah. Shocking.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

You need to listen to that one.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

Oh well. So I met her on a dance floor at the uni. As I entered my second year. And anyway, cut a long story short, I was not in a good place mentally, had drinking issues, got in with some some wrong people, and I kind of had a mental crash. And I remember going home one weekend and saying to my parents, like, this can't continue. I'm gonna end up with a third, or I'm gonna end up like dead. Yeah. This is not healthy. And I was in a really bad physical way.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

But you recognize that at the time.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Thankfully, and I've always I'm really open about my mental health.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

And I'm happy to talk about it to anyone because I think it will probably help people.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

Anyway, cut a long story short, I transferred into my second year at Sussex Uni. So I kind of went home and inverted commas, sorted my life out physically, mentally, and I graduated from Sussex in politics, got a 2-1. Nice. And then I did a master's at the UEA in international development. Um, and that's what I wanted to do ultimately.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Okay, hang on, you're gonna have to make sure for listeners, international development. Yeah, that's so broad, right? Anything in the world and stuff that happens. I'm guessing it's obviously more niche than that, because otherwise it's like, oh yeah, pretty much anything counts as international development.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

I'm qualified in life.

SPEAKER_03 6:07

I guess in layman's terms, it's it's going out and assisting and and helping people in the developing world. Oh, okay. So Africa, Asia in particular, Latin America.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

So like almost like what the missionaries do when they go out on missions and stuff, but actually like the science behind it. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

So whether it's agriculture, education, health, and kind of feeding into all of that. However, I came out with a mountain of debt. Right. And it was like, shit, I need to get a real job now. You know, and kind and life got in the way, life then accelerated. I worked in parliament for a bit, I've had various jobs. Okay, hold on.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

We we're gonna have to pick that one up again. So, do you want to talk about which party? I got a great story about Parliament as well. Then in which case we are having the story right now. Storytime with Henry Tapp, doesn't it?

Inside Parliament And The Cricket Story

SPEAKER_03 6:55

Luckily, we're not sitting too close together. So I worked for Lib Dems. Okay. I worked for an MP called Greg Marholland, who was in his first term then. Lovely, lovely guy, a bit wet behind the ears, but really hard working, kind of the opposite to your careerist politician. Yeah. And I was an intern basically, so I worked in his parliamentary office at Port Cullis House. Incredibly exciting place to work. Yeah. Especially if you've studied politics as well. You must be buzzing at the time. Oh, mega. I was just I was in heaven, basically. It was hard work, but you know, not every day you see the Dalai Lama walk through like the dining room and this kind of thing, and you do it's pinch yourself moments, and you know, you get in a lift with an MP, and it's just kind of like, what? What is what is going on?

SPEAKER_02 7:36

What am I doing here?

SPEAKER_03 7:36

Really cool, and having full access to the whole of Parliament so you could walk through the House of Commons when they're not sitting and stuff like this. So I was there for I don't know, about four months or so, and saw the humdrum of of Parliament, really. And the funny story I've got for you, because I know you said line up a couple, I was thinking about this on the way here. So every kind of Thursday evening, all of the MPs go back to their constituencies, so they spend most of the week in London, do their do their stuff. On expenses, on expenses, obviously. And the expenses were were happening at that time. I was kind of there, so that's interesting. So the the MPs would would leave on a Thursday night and the parliamentary staff would kind of have the offices to themselves on a Friday. There was lots of work done, I I will stress, but one of my first days in the office, the guy said to me, Do you play cricket? Which I don't, by the way. And I was like, No, not really, and thinking, Oh, we're gonna have a game at a ground somewhere and parties for each other or whatever. Nip off to Lords on to the weekends on expenses.

SPEAKER_04 8:35

On expenses, yes.

SPEAKER_03 8:36

And lo and behold, this first Friday I was there, they whip out a cricket bat and this kind of soft ball. And we had a game of cricket in in our parliamentary office. In the office. With a proper scorecard and everything. And I was just like This is not the first time they've done it, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:49

When they go, Oh yeah, let's let's bring it out. Are the rules? Oh no, no, we've written these, we've got bylaws and everything.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

Off the walls and everything. And you know, it would be a quick phone call to other researchers and interns from the other damn offices. It was right ten minutes, right in in your camera. And it's it's like, what is going on here? And it that's quality, it is like a different world, but it was it was awesome, it was really cool. I look back on it and I kind of I wanted to continue, but there's not a lot of money in it. I mean, researchers and stuff and and parliamentary assistants who do the legwork for MPs, really. Yeah, they're on a pittance, like relatively. Yeah, very, very exciting. But again, I I kind of needed a job with money, and I was on I was on expenses at the time. It was my train, my train fare. Yeah. And one day I said to my MP, I'm still living in Brighton at this point.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:35

So you're back. So I was commuting from my parents' house like early in the morning on sardine can trains to London, because it's it's a commuter belt, really. Yes. And I remember saying to my MP one day, I'm broke. Like I'm waiting for my train expenses, and he bless him, he went to the cash machine. I mean, this is the kind of guy he was, took a lad of money out, which I think was his.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

On expenses. Yeah. Named it later, obviously, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

And he said he got required. It was, I don't know, a hundred quid or something like that. And I realised subsequently, and I'm sorry, Greg, but I don't think I ever paid him back. No matter. Um, but but I was literally like turning out my pockets saying I can't come to work like tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Anyone who knows him, can you at him in this? And then and then we'll then we'll see if he sends great uh centenary appeal for it.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

Greg Mulholland, yeah, top guy. I don't know what he does now, he's probably a consultant or something, but he he was kind of like too good for parliament. He was one of those that went in with the best intentions, probably got churned up a little bit. He did two terms, lost his seat, and hopefully he's kind of happy in being productive and and stuff otherwise.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

But since then, I mean, not being funny, you'll have paid enough student loan interest and enough taxes to go, honestly, you've paid it back to the source from whence it came. Oh mate. That's it. You know, you feed into the system, don't you? Yeah, but you're feeling guilty about taking a hundred quid out of it.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

Yeah, that's just nuts, right? Yeah, it is. And I've I've never forgotten it.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

Okay, so so this was your stint in Parliament. So where'd you go after this? So after Parliament, I got my first job.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Even hearing that after Parliament, after I left Parliament, it's mad, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 11:05

My parents have got a picture of me outside Downing Street. Like, it's it's mad. It was crazy. It's crazy time. So I got my first proper job.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

And that would have been before AI. I was gonna say before AI, I can now put you in like at the front of 10 Downing Street with Mars attacks in the background and everything. Kir Starmer did yeah, okay, right. We won't talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

And he could be holding a guitar.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Yeah. Yeah, rocking out. Yeah, rocking out. Yeah, what was it? T-shirt.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

Oh man, legend. So my first proper job in Inverted Commas was for the Fitness Industry Association, okay. Uh which was on Oxford Street, basically, Tottencourt Road, again, like the epicentre of where you want to be as a young person, like drinking and having fun and stuff. So I worked there for I don't know, like 18 months or something, maybe even more than that. And again, the salary wasn't great. Commuting, exhausted, coming up in the mornings, and then I guess my career started to take off. I then got a job at the British Youth Council, uh, which is a youth charity. Sadly wound up now, and that was on London Bridge. I worked in all these cool places. And then my wife kind of entered my life again, and we we never got together at uni. We had a we had a kiss on the house.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Oh, when you met on the dance floor, that wasn't the okay.

Early Careers And Move To Suffolk

SPEAKER_03 12:16

We met for a mutual friend, and it's a proper kind of Gweneth Paltrow. If I wasn't there on that day, and I don't really believe in fate, but that is too much like fate, not to. Yeah. So anyway, we kind of got together when I worked in London. She was coming down from Suffolk every other weekend. I was heading up to to sorry, she was coming to London, I was going to Suffolk, vice versa. And I visited Framingham, which is where we live, and I was kind of like, wow, like what a cool, chilled, nice place Suffolk is. You know, and I'd visited once or twice. Wasn't particularly happy in my job, and I started applying for jobs in Suffolk. I'm not even sure if I told her, but I just started kind of landing CVs at different different places, and I got a job at Suffolk Sport, which is now I think it's called Active Suffolk. Okay. And that was my kind of entry into Suffolk, I guess. Um we lived with her parents for a while, which was interesting. So was Active Suffolk like a part charitable thing, or was it like commercial? So they excuse me, they are a county sports partnership, I think is the right terminology. Okay. Not for profit. They get a lot of funding from Sport England, commissioned funds and stuff like that. And I worked on a project called Fit Villages, which was basically trying to galvanize people in rural areas to do more physical activity.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

I love that.

SPEAKER_03 13:32

It was funded, yeah, it was cool. And I mean, what better place in Suffolk to do that? Yeah. Yeah. So a lot of travelling, and I kind of got to know the geography of Suffolk really well, like really quickly. I very rarely need to use sat navs now because it's just I've been to everywhere, the arsehole end of you know, everywhere. But got to love the county, uh, the beautiful geography, and then I've done kind of jobs in between. I worked at Nuffield Health for five years as a relationship manager with the consultants and the GPs. Consultants, interesting breed. Um, met some amazing people there, loved it. Uh but I kind of everywhere I've been, I've had uh itchy feet to an extent, or I've kind of reached a glass ceiling. I'm not super duper ambitious, I'm not driven by money particularly.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

I'd rather do something fulfilling and something I enjoy than make stacks of money, which but I think sometimes it's you know, people can go along and say, Yeah, it's what I get out of it. And people think that can be because you're doing it to grab money. Yeah. But actually that can be one thing that can be, you know, help you feel fulfilled. Yeah. I get paid well. Okay. Do you like it? Uh not really, but it pays okay, and I can take care of my family and I can do this. Great. Or do you get paid well? No, but how I feel at the end of the week is more fulfilling than any money's ever gonna give me 100%. So I th so I think it's always a case of, you know, people can be searching for something, but it's easy to think, oh, I'm searching for a bigger salary, but actually a lot of the time they're really searching for contentment and happy.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

Well, don't they say that? Like if you love what you do, you don't work on a bad idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

100%. And I'm still I love lots of my role, and I've loved lots of all of my roles, but I'm st I'm still kind of searching for that jump out of bed moment. And I you know, no disrespect to my employers or anything, and we do it we do amazing stuff. Yeah. And my wife always says to me, What are you searching for? That put of gold at the end of the rainbow doesn't really exist. Yeah. And that's something I have to contend with myself. I have mentoring and I have this, that, and the other to try and piece that together. And I think for me, money's kind of the icing on the cake. If you've got a great salary and you love yeah, fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

Bonus, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

Yeah, and you've got family and you've got kids and stuff, that's amazing. My wife's an accountant, which is very helpful. Sorry about that. Apologies, okay, and yeah, honestly, you're as dull as she is, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

Okay, she's definitely not me then.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

She I tell you what though, she's kind of an all-rounder in terms of her brain. She's got the mathematical brain. Like we watched the 1% club last night, and she said to me, I should go on then, because she almost always gets the 1% question. I'm sat there trying to work out the 80% question still, and she's got so she's got the brain, but she's got the the personality and the skills as well, which is quite a rare thing.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

And yeah, she's like 10 A stars at school, and she's all of that stuff that I wasn't, and we're very yin and yang, we're very different in so many ways, but we kind of But then you balance each other out, don't you? And it yeah, it works. She's a great mum and you know, all of that stuff.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

So let me take you back, right? So you said when you were at uni and you struggled with mental health and stuff, and then had to go and sort yourself out, and then you've gone over to Brighton, and then you've started work in London, Oxford Street, and there's all the drinking and parties and what have you. Yeah. How did you stay mellow? Was it a case of you always had that kind of yeah, I might tip, or you know, had points where you have tipped? Yeah, so I I mean I've had that throughout my life.

Fulfilment Over Money And Family Balance

SPEAKER_03 16:57

So from I don't know, when you have your first few drinks at I don't know, 14 or 15 or whatever it is, I've always had an inkling that it's a problem for me. Not that I can't stop, but kind of the mental implications. So if I had a a bender with some friends on a Friday or Saturday, like you did when you were younger, I would often pay for that until like Wednesday. Not necessarily the physical symptoms, but your anxiety and all of that stuff and paranoia and all of it. And I I get all of it.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

It's amplified at that point, then isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 17:31

Yeah, and it's it's probably predisposed, like it's genetic, and I look up family lines, and there's some of it there, and thankfully I kind of recognised it reasonably early. But just to put it in perspective, like at uni, I was on a in a dorm with males, we're on a bottom floor, and for security reasons it was all guys, which is fine, a lot of fun. And I had some heavy drinkers in my dorm, and everyone says, I went to uni, yeah, we had a partied, but it was silly, you know. It was drinking, I could drink every day if I wanted to, because there'd be someone who would try and encourage me to do it. Yeah. And I just went mad, you know, five, six days a week, like pretty hard going. Yeah. And I looked like a wreck, put loads of weight on.

SPEAKER_02 18:13

It becomes a routine then, doesn't it? Like drinking every day.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

Yeah, and you can't say can't say no, you know, and you just get into the and what's happening around you.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

It's yeah, but it but I think it's always been the way your environment, don't you? And it's probably been, you know, even that case for 20, 25 years, where it's almost like the social norm that you accept to drink. Do you know what I mean? It's like, oh, do you want to come out for a beer? Oh no, okay, I'm not I'm not drinking. What do you mean you're not drinking? Of course you're drinking. And it's like the the bit that I never understand, and I don't understand like there's some clever marketing somewhere 40 years ago that made this happen. And I don't I haven't traced it back yet, but it's something clever. Where if you were like an alien on the planet, or you know, come to visit the planet Earth and say, Okay, so one human is asking another human, would you like to come and drink poison with me? But it should be in low enough levels that it will only cause you a bit of damage, a bit of paranoia, a bit of mental problems, it will make you lose ability for your own faculties, and you'll feel bad for it tomorrow. Should we go and do that? And the person who says no is the odd one. That's the I don't know how someone's marketed that, but when you actually hear it, you go, Yeah, that's nuts. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_03 19:26

Leading up to my 40th birthday, I had two and a half years off drink, like literally not a sip. And I learned so much about it and myself, I've kind of reintroduced it now, and I'm way more mindful now, having been through that, of what it's gonna do to me.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

But I've heard it referred to on podcasts and stuff before as attractively packaged poison, which is basically what it is, and it's the only drug that if you deny it, you're weird. Like in in certainly this country.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

Yeah, if someone's if someone said, Oh look, you know, let's go and do Coke, and you went, No, it's like, oh okay, fine, you don't do Coke. Or, you know, oh do you want to come out and have a cigarette? No, I don't smoke. Oh, okay, great, you don't smoke. But do you want to come out and have a drink? Literally, I had this two hours ago where I've got a couple of mates and we're meeting to get up in Colchester to go and have a game of snooker.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Nice.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

And they said, Oh, yeah, we'll meet about half past one and get on the beers. And I went, Yeah, I'm gonna drive. And they went, What do you mean you're driving? We can get someone to come pick you up. We can get and I was like, No, I'm just not drinking, you know. But it's almost weird that you that everyone kind of thinks, well, but you should. But it also like going too deep and meaningful.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

This is supposed to be fun, right? It's the fun side of business. Yeah, but there's a real life as well, though. We want relatable side of the side of it.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Or the relatable side of life.

SPEAKER_03 20:40

But I think it also for for for some for some people, not not all at all, but it legitimizes their drinking. Yeah. So, you know, and it's kind of Because no one wants to drink alone. Yeah, you're in a gang, and you know, it's kind of we're all in it together. It's pack mentality. Yeah. You know, and I I'm an expert on alcohol-free beer now, for you know, for example, because I've tried everyone under the sun. And I think, you know, Gen is it Gen Z now? Gen whatever it is. People are drinking less and less and less the you know, the younger you go.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

So Well, I think all the tax reports have just come out that despite all the taxes going up, the only one that went up was cider in terms of duty collected. The tax on beer, even though they increased the rate, there's less collected, same as spirit, same as wine. Wow. The only one that's gone up is cider.

SPEAKER_03 21:24

That's because it's a young person's drink. A young person's drink.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

I guess. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:28

So I mean I could do a whole podcast.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

Either that or it's like, yeah, cider attracts a certain group of people that aren't going to stop.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

You back and do a whole episode on alcohol. Yeah. What we should do.

SPEAKER_03 21:37

Yeah, I'm gonna do that another time. It's interesting. I at Clip and Climb last night I spoke to Adam from I don't know how to pronounce it, Ocola O'Kay Healthcare. Okay. He's gonna kill me, but I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

I thought you were gonna say from IG or whatever, and it's like, yeah, because Iggy always looks weird when you see their one.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

Yeah, like top top guy, and he's having a year-off drink this year for charity, bless him. And we we had a chat like waiting for the buffet about drinking habits and stuff. And when you connect with someone who's gone through a similar thing, like it's it's it's relief almost. Yeah, you're not alone, you're not the only one. You're not alone, and I think a lot of people probably experience some of those things I've experienced, but. But they're kind of in denial. They don't want to make the effort to confront it. Don't want to confront it, you know, because life is stressful, right? And for some people, that's their and scary things people tend to run away from. Nothing.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

It's harder to accept and recognise something because then you know you've got to make changes. Yeah. And that's the part. You bury your head in the sand.

Alcohol, Anxiety, And Sobriety Lessons

SPEAKER_03 22:38

And guys in particular are pretty bad at it in many respects. Uh, but I'm pretty much an open book. Like I'll I'll talk about drink all day long and kind of the damage it's done to me. Um you know, my wife's seen it firsthand, she seen me in tears, you know, the following day, the following day, the following day, just because mentally I'm shot to pieces. Yeah. And that's what you don't see because I'm quite an extrovert, and when I'm having a drink and stuff, I'm the life and soul. You know, I'm I'm a jibber jabber, as you can tell here, even more so when I've had a drink. And people are like, wow, that that happens to you, and it does. It's this the aftermath, which can continue for days. So I I kind of knocked that on the head at Sussex, really. I didn't stop drinking, but I started playing rugby again, spent a long time in the gym, just kind of just got my shit back together. And then kind of continued.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

But it's I was gonna say, you're into your fitness now, aren't you? You cycle. Is that you have I seen you cycle? Is that what you run, running? Really, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

Okay, but you can't as long as he's beating Craig Star, then it runs up. Maybe that's why I've got cycling in my head.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

Did you cycle with Craig? Am I making that up?

SPEAKER_03 23:47

Yeah, we did um So we did quite a lot of work. No, no, you're right, you're right. We did a bit of work with the Suffolk Council last year um on the tour of Britain. Yes, okay. We were kind of the charity of choice, and they invited us to do the media ride, uh, which started at Fram Castle, yeah, five minutes from my house, probably less than that. And we cycled up to Saxmundam. Sax Mundam or later, Sax Mandam, I think it was. He kicked my ass, by the way. Because he he cycles quite. Should we talk about the Ills of Chalf again?

SPEAKER_00 24:17

We'll talk about the Ills of Chalf again to rebalance it, right?

SPEAKER_02 24:19

Yeah, we'll talk about that one day.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

And and and then we'll have Craig like writing underneath going, Yeah, but I had a knee injury just before it. Yeah, but he's injured.

SPEAKER_03 24:26

He's always but he's like what 15 years younger than me or something. I mean, Craig, you should be kicking my ass everything, you know.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Even with an injured knee, right? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:34

I'm 42, I'm kind of entering middle age. Yeah, yeah, it's horrible to say that. Yeah, but I mean I played I played rugby for I got into the Sussex squad when I was younger. I was like, okay, I was pretty better, I was better than average player, but I was never gonna be anything more than that ever, and despite what my dad would probably say. And then as times wore on, I've kind of left the rugby, left the football, and the the the trickier sports probably on your body, really, despite being running, and everyone's like, Oh, your knees. So I took up tr kind of triathlon when I moved up here and I did a few, I did a half iron man at one point, which now seems absolutely mad. And then subsequently, I was never a particularly good cyclist or enjoyed cycling competitively. I would haven't got the legs for it, but I continued running quite a lot. And I run most I ran this morning. Okay I run most days, but I'm training for the Brighton Marathon at the moment, which is seven or eight weeks away. So yeah, I mean running for me is is as as essential as eating lunch.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

And does that help the reason why I asked, is that that helps with your mental health and everything? 100%.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. And if if I did my knee or something like that, like that would be trouble. Craig apparently did is what you're gonna say. Yeah, he drops Allegedly. You know, he's he's doing these bicep curls and he drops a dumbbell on his ankle.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

And he drops up and on his own.

SPEAKER_03 25:57

Something like that, and then he stubbed his toe recently. You know, he comes up with all these things. Doug out my homework, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, you see where it comes from, can't you? But he should be kicking my ass, like honestly, like the the age difference.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Peter's gonna hear this and then he's so competitive after this podcast.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

He's gonna go, can I get back on the podcast to talk about Henry? He's like, nah, sorry, mate, you've been on once.

SPEAKER_03 26:17

Well, we're doing the Woodbridge 10Ks, and he's very kindly invited me on to their too because I think he's sponsoring that. Yeah, obviously, yes, he's sponsoring it. And I know through other people that he's super competitive. Of course he is, and he w he just wants to get back in a race with you. Yeah, of course, yeah. Well, exactly. But yeah, it kind of is what it is.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

I'm gonna tag him in this episode once it goes live.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

Okay, all right, so let's jump back. So we're we're we're in the We've done like sport thingy and active lives and what have you, and Henry's still searching for the thing. Yeah. What was the moment? In what sense, sorry? Well, when you found his found his pot of gold. We've not found the pot of gold yet. When I found my thing.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

We're close to finding the pot of gold. So I was at I was at Nuffield for for five years and a bit, I think. Enjoyed that role, but it was kind of stale. When I get to a point where I start to get bored, I think the term's rusting out. Like I need I need some innovation. When it's monotonous. Monotonous, yeah. When I could do it by that point, no disrespect to the organisation, but standing on my head. And I started probably getting a bit complacent, and I saw this role for Suffolk Community Foundation pop up. And again, relationship management, kind of what I enjoy doing, you know, B2B stuff and meeting people, right? Never heard of community foundations, didn't have a clue what they did, but essentially huge grant makers to the charity sector, of which they tend to give out four to five million pounds a year. Like it's pretty significant. Wow. And they have an endowment of 20 million, something like that, like incredible funds. And they wanted me to basically come in to build rapport with professional services. So your accountants, wealth managers, private clients, solicitors. And this is kind of where my black book exploded because I just built this list of connections who I met at events we put on events because basically they referred high net worth people to us who bless you. Excuse me. Yeah, that get rid of that in the editor.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Bless you.

Sport, Running, And Mental Health

SPEAKER_03 28:19

Edit that one out. Who who, either for tax reasons or whatever it was, wanted to create charitable funds, you know, who were invested in Suffolk. And most people, not everyone, but most people have a sympathy to an area of charity, right? So whether it's mental health, whether it's homelessness. And it doesn't harm them when they can write off part of what they owe to HMRC and give it to a charity instead. 100%. So I you know, I met some of the kindest people, you know, who are sitting on millions, probably, whether it's in the estate or whatever it is, who would write, you know, charitable charitable things into their wills that that amounted to a lot of money. Yeah. And I also kind of introduced, I didn't introduce, but I consolidated businesses within the foundation as well. So I created a lot of charitable funds with Suffolk businesses. So Beckett's, for example, with Ian White, Ellison's, like loads of different businesses and introduced them to different charities in in Suffolk. And it was a massive education for me from kind of almost almost one-man bands, charities like Dora Brown, which is unbelievable, which employs like, I don't know, a handful of people all the way through up to Suffolk Mind, the hospices and what have you. And Suffolk with a So you were kind of a connector. Yeah, so my role was income gen, but it was to create charitable funds for individuals and corporates. And a lot of those people were referred to me by the professional service community. Yeah. So I think in my interview, I had to to demonstrate how I would engage with that audience. I mean it's it's not rocket science. Basically, start with a spreadsheet, and you've got Google, right? No. And at the end of COVID, that was kind of my my map. And over three plus years, just made these incredible relationships and friendships. Like a lot of these people are friends now. Yeah. And it was a really cool position. Anyway, cut a very long story short, and a lot of people know this anyway. Lots of change at the foundation over that time. Uh the management structure changed. The chief exec, who was there 17 or 18 years, the founding chief exec retired, and there was a lot of uh turbulence. And I'd never experienced that in an organization before of that level. Lots of people leaving, lots of churn. And again, a bit of a bit of a pattern here. I had like a mental breakdown, basically. A lot of stress, spinning millions of plates, covering staff that were real or leaving. And I just kind of I just collapsed. And like last was it August two years ago, 18 months or so ago, I very impulsively resigned, which is very unlike me, really unlike me. But one of the senior leadership team the day before I did that said, I'm I'm gonna go, I'm gonna hand my notice in. And no one's re irreplaceable at work, but she was as close as you could get. She was she was ops, similar to you, she was finance, and it was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back.

unknown 31:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:23

You know what? I can't deal with this. And and I spoke to my wife later that day on the Friday and I said I resigned today. Like we sp we touched on it earlier that week, but I was in a pretty dark place, and I just kind of needed to press the reset button. And I did, I took, I don't know, a couple of couple of months out. I'm guessing she was crazy supportive, right? Yeah, I mean she sent me in some pretty hairy states throughout our time. So we've been together about 16 years, been married for just over ten. And yeah, w it's a relationship, right? So you see each other in the most vulnerable positions and places, and yeah, she's amazing and she's so patient.

Career Pivot To Community Foundation

SPEAKER_00 32:02

But the thing was, I mean, again, I I a lot of it is kind of bringing up memories of me when I sort of had a you know, I was ten years into a place I was and just kind of had that epiphany of going, enough's enough, I can't do this anymore. And I remember talking to Natasha about it, and I said to her, or Doris is everyone knows her, and I said to her, I said, I think I need to quit, and I think I need to just go and do something for me. And she said, What are you gonna do? And I said, honestly, right now at this point in time, I don't know, but it's not what I'm doing. And she said, quit. And I went, but we don't know how we're gonna pay the mortgage, we don't know how we're gonna do this, we don't know how we're gonna do that. She said, We'll work it out. Quit. Amazing. And it was just that level of support that just went, This is what a real partnership is about. You know, and it was so nice to go, guess what? I'm not gonna have this undue pressure on me going, Well, you decided to do this, you have to make this work. It was yeah, just quit and we'll work it out.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

But that that's amazing, isn't it? That's that's true partnership. Yeah. I mean, yeah, she's so supportive of me. So I kind of took this this time out, and I'm pretty modest about this, but uh lots of people said to me, You know so many people, like people will approach you. And I was like, I don't know, I don't know if that's gonna happen. So I made it quite public, and lo and behold, my inbox started filling up, and I had WhatsApp messages and stuff, and people said, Oh, let's let's have a chat. I was kind of bowled over.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

I was kind of Oh, that's the big volumes.

SPEAKER_03 33:39

Yeah, I mean it was it was amazing from different sectors from professional services, charities, and stuff like that, and I had had quite a lot of coffees with people with no real end point, it was just chat, just a chat at that point, and I probably ended up with about three pro possible options that were realistic. Two were not in the charitable sector and one was and I felt like I had quite a lot of unfinished business in the in the charitable sector, it took less pay. Going back to the point before, mental health, as you can clearly tell, is is huge to me personally. And I thought actually, if I can contribute to helping people with their own mental health, like that's nothing that's like important than that sounding cliched, like that's my calling.

SPEAKER_04 34:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:27

So um, and I knew some of the team already, and I knew I would walk into a role or apply for a role. Actually, I didn't walk into it. That was relationship building again, partnership working, which is what I enjoy most. So kind of here we are, yeah. But that was quite a painful process. But coming back to your what you said about 10 years ago, yeah, I'm 42 now, and what about about halfway through life, and you start to think like shit, we get one crack at this, we get one go at it, and you don't want to look back when you're retired thinking, it's all those opportunities I was deeply.

SPEAKER_02 35:03

I was the same before I was R I said, I was in the same industry for about 14 years, and that was most of my life. And I was just I had no passion for it anymore. And I it's similar to you guys, I went home and was like, I'm not doing this anymore. I don't a lot of changes had happened. I weren't just money. Yeah, yeah. I can't work with Nick in the case. I'm out, I'm done.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

I said that before we came in.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

Yeah, it's funny that yeah, so many changes had happened in the industry and the business I worked for, and I was like, I I just don't I don't like it anymore. I was you know that feeling when you go into work, you just don't want to be there. I never had that before. I I didn't want to get up in the mornings and do it.

SPEAKER_01 35:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:39

And um yeah, and I I had no idea what I was gonna do. Then I fed into this role that I'm now stuck in.

unknown 35:50

Right?

SPEAKER_02 35:51

I love it, people.

SPEAKER_03 35:53

You can tell, you can tell you enjoy it really. But there's nothing what you're right, there's nothing worse than having your Sunday lunch, right?

SPEAKER_02 36:00

And then that Sunday night feeling.

SPEAKER_03 36:02

And then you've got that feeling in the pit of your stomach about what's coming up. And I remember who said it, it was at a seminar or something, but you can tell the culture of an organization by how your employees feel on a Sunday night. I think that knocks hits the nail on the fair.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

I mean, I I've always had the thing. Our stuff wanna come in on a Sunday, so I mean they they've asked, right?

Burnout, Resignation, And Support

SPEAKER_00 36:22

But but I always have that same thing when someone says, you know, I'll you know, whenever I've employed anyone and they said, you know, yeah, I don't know if it's like, look, at the moment you have any doubt, if it's not right for you, just quit. I'll help you. I'll help find new jobs for you, I'll help do this. Life is more important than this job. You've not said that to me. So you've got a lifetime contract, you're stuck. It's like just being a prisoner. So yeah, it doesn't matter. It doesn't make any difference for you, love. We've lost the key, everything. You're locked in. But but yeah, so I mean, I I've always had that thing of saying, look, you know, you get one chance at life. You might not be able to go through life saying, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love my job, but you should never have that feeling on a Sunday night going, Yeah, I don't think I can face it. Because the moment you get that feeling, it's time to change. Yeah, it's always gonna be time to change. And I and you know, that's exactly it. You know, I remember having that, yeah, I've I've now kind of entered this point of my life where what I'm now gonna do is like my final throw. So I can stick where I am and be dictated to and you know, always have that you're kind of in control, but not quite, or just go take control and you know, make you know, walk your own path, make your own steps and see where it goes.

SPEAKER_03 37:34

I mean, all almost anyone I know who's set off and created their own business or enterprise or whatever it is, I don't think I've spoken to anyone who said I regret it. You know, that they might have had troublesome financial and you know what have you. But pretty much everyone I've I've spoken to is like take the leap of faith.

SPEAKER_00 37:56

Like it's the thing is the the the reality is, and if you look at it, and you know, we've had this conversation many times. In order to earn more money, stick in a job. In order to go along and not have to stress on a Friday night, stick in a job. If all it, you know, all of these things, it's far worse having a business on all of these fronts, but yet people will keep doing it. Yeah, and they'll keep doing it because they actually can feel they're building something and it's theirs and it's something, you know, and we find it. And it doesn't always go to plan.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

It doesn't work first time around. We're on version.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

Oh, guess what? And we'll be on another version on Monday. You know, Jem loves it. She goes, Oh, okay, great. So what we need to discuss in the director's meeting on Monday, right? I've got a new plan. She's like, right, this is your 27th one of the year. Here we go again. Can we just deal with the old plan? No, no, no, no, I've thought about it. I've got a new one now, and off we go again. That's great.

SPEAKER_03 38:44

You you've got to revolve, right? Yeah. I mean, I spoke to Ezra, you might have seen him speak, so he's our head of education, unbelievable guy, unbelievable brain. And we each had a coffee with each other, just catch up, really. And I said to him, When we have a Tesco delivery order, you know, every Saturday or whatever, said, Sometime, sometimes, I'm jealous of that driver. You clock in, you clock out, and you kind of you don't always leave every bit of work behind, but you kind of do in that role. And I've said to him, when I was a student, did that, clocked in, clocked out, and kind of, while it's probably not as fulfilling in many ways, it's quite appealing, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 39:24

You don't take any worry home, do you? You switch off five o'clock, six o'clock.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

The only thing that I'm always proud of is I remember the point where someone said to me, If you win the lottery, what do you do? And I said, I take a week off doing a few bits and pieces and then I come back to work. Which I follow the money back. Yeah. Really? Oh, he 100% works. Because the thing is that everyone always says, like, what's the purpose of retirement? You know, and it's like when you decide to retire, you're able to spend the time doing the stuff you want to do, and you're working to earn enough money to make that as comfortable as it can be. But doing what I love to do, I love to help businesses and I love to help them grow, and I like to help people, and I get to do that every day at my job. So it you know, if someone says, Oh, do you want to go and hit a golf ball round a thing and go, Yeah, I'd be alright for like a week and then I'll go, but it's just not fulfilling to go, Yeah, okay, you know, I've w worked out how to hit a golf ball further. Yeah, it's never gonna do it. But to go and say, Oh, yeah, by the way, I had someone, you know, that's in tears going, Yeah, shit, I think the police are coming to get me and this has happened because I haven't got to pay this tax and I haven't done this and I haven't done that, and we're able to just sit down and say, Right, just stop, breathe. Yeah, we'll fix it.

SPEAKER_03 40:38

It's it's fulfillment.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

And and and you just go, you know, I'd I I'll I'll always tell, you know, I'll always hold that point where we had a client come in with her daughter because I'd found them a tax uh outcome that was very favorable and it was worth nearly six figures. Wow. And she'd promised to take her daughter to Disneyland and she brought her daughter in with a little thank you card and what have you. And I'm like, yeah, I think I'll go. I could I could work in a job for 50 years, I'm never gonna get that. That is very cool.

Purpose, Work, And Redefining Success

SPEAKER_03 41:08

So for me, I'm like, yeah, I'll just keep doing that. And you hit the nail on the head, like as and when retirement happens, you have to remain productive and busy. And w in our road, they call it uh what do they call it, St. Peter's Gate or something, because people basically go there, they retire, they die. Yeah, yeah, and then younger families are now moving in. And I get back from from work sometimes. I'm not gonna mention my neighbour's name, not he could never listen to this anyway.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

We have billions of billions.

SPEAKER_03 41:38

I I I get out of my car and I can see him looking at me like you know, I don't make it obvious, but I can see him looking at me through his his living room window because he's so bored. He's like looking out and watching what's in the world go down. And it's like, I don't want that. Yeah, I don't want to rot away, you know, having worked your whole life. And I've never gonna win the lottery, but if I did, I think a lot of it would depend on the amount. Uh but I I couldn't see myself working, I'd be productive in other ways.

SPEAKER_00 42:06

The weird thing is is that by strict definition of retirement, well, maybe it's by strict definition for retirement I haven't, but four years ago I was able to change the business and do what I love with the people I enjoy spending time with. That to me is personal retirement you're gonna get. That's mecca. So every single day I get to do that. That's cool.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 42:26

I meant I meant Doris, not you. He wasn't looking at you next to us. Yeah. Yeah, I got rid of some clients and kept the good ones. Anyway, so so yeah, so hang on, I've got some quick fire for you, Henry. Yeah, go on. Uh we're only gonna do this, and just because I thought this would be a fun thing to do. And it's gemma's rolling around. We're gonna get ready for this one, right? You've got to get rid of one of them Black Sabbath, Megadeath, Iron Maiden. One has to be scrubbed. Get rid of one. Scrub from existence, don't never exist in.

SPEAKER_03 42:51

I don't like Megadeath, so I'd get rid of them. Okay. There you go. The other the other two like two are the best. That'd have been tough.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

Uh now I want to ask you. Yeah, no, I want to ask that. Okay, got it.

SPEAKER_03 43:02

Your turn.

SPEAKER_02 43:02

Get get rid of one of those two.

SPEAKER_03 43:04

Sabbath and maiden.

unknown 43:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

No Phantom of the Opera.

SPEAKER_03 43:08

I mean, it that's almost an impossible question.

SPEAKER_00 43:11

No run to the hills.

SPEAKER_03 43:13

No paranoid. Sabbath's you know he can't answer this question. Yeah, about catalogue is unreal. And they were they were the creators, they kind of created heavy metal. But I've seen Iron Maiden, I don't know, maybe maybe a dozen times. I've seen them in the summer. Okay. And that I always see them with my brother, that's a brotherly thing. And that's the first band that got us into metal. We watched them on top of the pops. Do you remember that? Anyone? Top of the parts?

SPEAKER_00 43:36

Top of the parts, I remember. Hang on, was this the one where they decided that they were so hacked off that they weren't allowed to play live? That they all just went, Yeah, we're just not gonna do this at all. And just let them play the back and track while they just like swapped instruments and stuff. Yeah, bugger about, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

I that wasn't that I've heard of that though, which sounds amazing. They played in I think they played in Israel or something, and it was with Blaise Bailey who was the singer, who was their kind of interim singer. Bruce Dickinson was is the guy. Yeah. But I remember sitting there with my brother. This video came on, and it was it was this epiphany, and we watched it and we were like, oh fucking hell, like this, this is cool, this is super cool, and that kind of changed I don't know, it was life changing. For us in a musical setting. Okay, so you can't make him think that's not gonna happen. Okay, we'll go to an easy one. Favourite food. Ooh, Mexican or Italian, can I have tea? I'm gonna go for tea for everything.

SPEAKER_00 44:31

Best two best two achievements.

SPEAKER_03 44:33

Best two achievements.

SPEAKER_00 44:34

I mean I was gonna say best achievement, but I know you're gonna pick two, so I might as well just get you to answer.

SPEAKER_03 44:38

I've got splinters on my bum. My two girls. Okay. My two girls who uh everything. Now can you pick between hands?

SPEAKER_00 44:45

Shout out to his wife that it didn't mention. Anyway, biggest regret is it's like one of you or two biggest regrets.

SPEAKER_02 44:52

The children and then the wife.

SPEAKER_00 44:53

Yeah, I'll say he's picked three.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

He's picked three, basically.

SPEAKER_00 44:56

Biggest regret Biggest regret.

SPEAKER_02 44:59

Coming on this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

That is tough. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 45:06

It might have been it might have been sort of my drinking in in my early days. Okay. But I've also learnt a lot from that.

SPEAKER_02 45:14

But you've grown from that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:15

So m may my dad would say it may be jacking in county rugby too early. Okay. So my my coach at Sussex was a guy called Gary Henderson. Arsehole, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 45:27

Okay, so I'm not big enough, Gary.

SPEAKER_03 45:29

Not Gary. Arsehole. And it was basically it was basically a military camp. You know. And we used to do something called continuity drills. And if one member of the squad dropped the ball, the whole squad would have to get down and do press-ups. Yeah, arsehole. Arsehole. And yeah. You would have to do 20 at a time or something. And if anyone moved if anyone got up before the rest of the squad, you'd have to do it again. And it was just like Yeah, that sounds more like a weird camp. It just killed the enjoyment for me. And and talking about Sunday night, every day before training sessions, I would feel sick, like violent. And I kind of I said to my dad one day, he was gutted because I think I played at a slightly better letter. I mean he played for years and years and years, and he kind of lived it through me. And I said to him, like, I can't do this, and he was so disappointed.

SPEAKER_02 46:14

When that enjoyment goes, it's yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:16

Yeah, it just it sucked. And that's where you do stuff, right? That's where you do because you love it.

SPEAKER_00 46:20

Okay, next one for you. Uh advice for younger Henry. So if you could give 20 words to 14-year-old Henry, what would it be? I would say be wary of alcohol. I would say university isn't You know who he would say to you by the way, 14-year-old Henry would go, What do you know you're really old? Because he's drinking foot he's drinking with his 14-year-old mate. You're an old man.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

Yeah, yeah. You done it.

Quick Fire: Music, Regrets, And Advice

SPEAKER_03 46:48

Yeah, exactly. University isn't everything it's cracked up to be. Like if you want to do a vocation, like I like that one. Explore that because our generation, right? University was sold as as the as the pot of gold.

SPEAKER_02 47:01

The only option, yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_03 47:02

That was the I don't ever remember apprenticeships or vote, you know, tr trades ever being spoken about. So I would suggest that. I mean with AI and everything, I worry sick about my kids. Like what on earth they're gonna do when they're older. Learn how to be an electrician.

SPEAKER_02 47:20

I had this conversation the other day. We need yeah, trades.

SPEAKER_00 47:22

Be a sparky, yeah. Because guess what? If the machines go down, everyone will get stuck. They'll need electricians. Exactly. And with the renters' rights bill, electricians.

SPEAKER_03 47:30

Yeah, well m my father-in-law's a plumber. There you go. He's he's never not busy. Yeah, I was gonna say he'll never struggle to put food on the table.

SPEAKER_00 47:36

Okay, and then the final one, which normally we don't let people do, but because whoever you work with for I'll give you this one. Yeah if someone wants to support Suffolk Mind, can they only do it with money? Can they? Well, is it only money that they can help with? No, no, not at all. G give me five ways that people can help uh either as a business or an individual, how can they help Suffolk?

SPEAKER_03 47:56

Five ways. So we have an initiative called Friends of Suffolk Mind. It's getting through a rebrand at the moment. I I I hate that I hate that brand. Friends, I think it sounds woolly and chari, you know, it's classic tea and biscuits charity, isn't it? So we're we're rebranding that, and that is a cohort of I don't know, five thousands of people who support the charity in kind. So they don't financially contribute, but they can attend training sessions for free, which give them tools to help themselves and others, whether it's family or friends or colleagues. So that's equipping them with mental health tools. We've got millions of voluntary opportunities, so we run a lot of fundraising events throughout the year, and unfortunately, because there's no public money anymore, frankly, we're having to diversify our income more and more and more. So you we've got fundraising events kind of coming out of our ears because we have to. And we've got two and a half full-time fundraising team, which is tiny actually, and we're always needing volunteers for those sorts of things, whether it's a cheer station at the half marathon, it might be so we're doing cheering you going faster than Craig.

SPEAKER_00 49:04

I was getting to that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You got it. You saw where I was going. We won't even see Henry. Henry's got a chance. I was at that cheer station. Yeah, I saw you. I saw you at the end. Yeah, we were cheering you ahead of Henry down Worcester Road. Uh ahead of Craig on Worsted Road.

SPEAKER_03 49:18

Yeah, you were you were in a good position because you were about a mile before the end. Yeah. So you must have been seeing some sorry states.

SPEAKER_00 49:23

Well, we saw the sorry states, but we also saw the guy that was about a week ahead of everyone else.

SPEAKER_03 49:27

A week. Cooper.

SPEAKER_00 49:29

Honestly, he could have gone round a second time. Did you see the vest he was in? Uh I I did see the Suffolk Mind vest he was in.

SPEAKER_02 49:35

Was he?

SPEAKER_00 49:36

Unbelievable guy. Unreal. So he ran and he did and the thing was it even looked like he'd cheated and only started a mile down the road and and got his timings wrong because it looked like he was just going out for a job. He was like three times faster than everyone else, not breaking a sweat, not anything. And people who were going the other way to then have to do like ten more miles to turn around to come back, or five miles or whatever, were looking all puffed out and what have you. He's there kind of going, Oh yeah, I might I might have another couple of goes round. I might run about it.

SPEAKER_03 50:05

Honestly, unbelievable. He's he's the epitome. I know we're going off topic a little bit, but and this is public, so I'm I'm not breaking any confidentiality. He he had serious eating disorders when he was younger, he was anorexic, really struggled, battled with his mental health. He had a best friend take his own life. Wow. So yeah, he's been through them. He's a very you know, he's a young man, I think he's 24 now. And he decided last year, I mean a lot of people know this, you might you might know it. He decided last year to run every single day. That's so 365 days, doing 12k every day for Suffolk Mind. That's what, seven miles a day. Wow, which is pretty I mean he he's a running coach, he's obviously a great runner, but for any human body, that's pretty That's intense, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 50:48

That's pretty mad.

SPEAKER_03 50:49

And he chose 12 because on average 12 men take their own life in in the UK a day. Oh wow, you know, so it's very poignant for him, and I think he ran in the end he ran 360 because he he did something to his back like in November, and I remember receiving his text and he was so apologetic. He was like, I'm so sorry. I was like, mate.

SPEAKER_00 51:10

But I bet he I mean again from the kind of guy he is, I bet he went, but I'll do like 24k for like five days to make up for it.

SPEAKER_03 51:17

Well, I'm not being funny, but on so many days he went over 12k. Yeah, I mean I don't know, I don't know what his annual mileage was that year, but like probably more than my car. It probably was. It could be, yeah, yeah. I mean insane. And so that he he now trains with a guy who lives in Fram or just outside of Fram, who's probably gonna be a better runner than him as well. Okay, and these two are keep pushing each other on, and it it's quite to steel sharpen steel as well. They'll get crazy quick for that. Yeah, and they're they're friendly competitive, unlike me and Craig.

SPEAKER_00 51:50

Not like I'll say well, I mean, the the problem is Craig Craig wasn't that competitive because he was about ten minutes behind you, right? Ten miles. Yeah, something like that. I mean, I don't know. Maybe you stubbed his toe again or dropped the weight on it or something.

SPEAKER_03 52:02

Yeah, so sorry, I went off topic there.

SPEAKER_00 52:05

All right. Where do we get it?

SPEAKER_02 52:07

So we can people can volunteer.

How To Support Suffolk Mind

SPEAKER_00 52:08

Lots of volunteering opportunities. There we go. Look, you've probably just summed it up nicely to say they can go and run a half marathon and put your vest on. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:16

Yeah, I mean the tons of opportunities for people to raise money for us.

SPEAKER_00 52:20

And if they want to, is it a case of reaching you or is it Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:24

More more than happy to reach out to us, any of our social media pages. We've got an events page on the website which lists all of the fundraising challenges. And we've got a guitar quest at the moment. Obviously. Where you learn Yeah, which you had no um part in at all, right?

SPEAKER_00 52:39

Genuinely just you will know why. So there's oh if it's Simon and Garfunkel or something, it's like, yeah, it definitely wasn't anything to do with you.

SPEAKER_03 52:48

I think it's Country Road. Country Roads or I do like some country.

SPEAKER_00 52:53

I like it. Yeah, but it's not because you need like, you know, if they went, oh yeah, by the way, we're gonna do like a um Welcome to the Jungle and intro or something, you go, yeah, you could get more behind that. Yeah, yeah, Country Road.com.

SPEAKER_03 53:05

So it's two songs, I think I think it's Country Roads, and I think it's uh an Oasis song as well. Oh, okay. But not too bad.

SPEAKER_00 53:11

But the idea is But it's not rocker Iron Maiden type stuff.

SPEAKER_03 53:14

It's not decapitated, is it? Let's be honest. But the idea is to get people to learn that song over a a number of weeks with tutorials online and stuff like that. And I think they do a great get together one one Sunday. I think it's in March. I should know this. Sorry, fundraising team. But it's on the website at St. Peter's, and and they all get up on stage and they play it together. Amazing. What a cool kind of thing. Yeah, that's amazing. So there's so many different things people can get involved in it, and it's not all athletic, it's not all physical, and I think there's a a kind of perception that that it is, but there's so many cool things, and charity's really competitive, right? Like you don't need to know that. I'm sure people knock on your door weekly for stuff, daily, weekly. And when you're income gen, you're always trying to reinvent the wheel a bit, you're trying to make things a bit unique, a bit interesting, and everyone's upping their game.

SPEAKER_01 54:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:05

And also all the causes are amazing, right? Who who on earth do you pick? Yeah. How do you pick between mental health and a hospice or homelessness, yeah, or whatever it is? And there's so much to choose from. But because that public sector money's dried up, essentially, everyone is coming to private companies. But they're trying to find those high net worth people that have those passions that are willing to kind of contribute. So fundraising, you know, is such an essential part of any charity, but certainly ours to to cover off all of the different services we provide. And I couldn't even reel them off to you because there are too many. And I met someone recently who said you don't talk about it enough. You don't talk enough about what Suffolk Mind does, and I'm I'm guilty of that.

SPEAKER_02 54:49

You guys do incredible stuff.

SPEAKER_00 54:51

Oh, hang on. I have one final question as well. Go on. I I know you were going to talk about this, but I couldn't help it. I had to interrupt because it's the one question that every single Suffolk person that knows Henry wants to know. Nervous. Do you believe you have the firmest handshake in Suffolk? Because everyone who knows you, they go, Oh, he's the handshake one. Oh wow. Do you know this, by the way?

SPEAKER_03 55:11

Yeah, someone mentioned that to us the other day. Chambers always jokes about this. Okay. Always, every single time. But whenever anyone brings it up, I go extra hard. Next time I'm like, Yeah, I'm gonna make a thing of this now.

SPEAKER_00 55:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:23

I don't remember you mentioned it.

SPEAKER_02 55:25

I'm gonna get my hand crushed this time. Someone mentioned it to you, didn't they?

SPEAKER_00 55:28

You've got a good one. Yeah, but I I always I always got told, like growing up that you you have to go along and go in with a firm handshake. Because if because A, it puts the quality of your character, and secondly, if you go in a wet fish handshake and someone's got a firm handshake, it will hurt you. Yeah, so always going with a firm handshake.

SPEAKER_02 55:47

I'm a hugger, in I I don't really do the whole thing.

SPEAKER_03 55:49

I don't but hand on heart, I don't do it to prove a point, but same as my dad, you know, it's kind of it's looking people in the eyes when you speak to them. It's it's a character thing, yeah. And I'm not saying a wet fish hand handshake tells you everything about a person. But it tells a lot. Yeah, it's not everything, but it does a lot of it's a lot about it. It's not the greatest entry point, is it?

SPEAKER_00 56:08

So I think you know, like that's a that's rapport straight away. Yeah, but again, it's just it's one of those things where you go, Yeah, you'll get known for that. And it doesn't matter because at the end of the day, you want to be memorable and everyone knows you as a handshake. Honestly, I swear I could say to people, like, Oh, do you know Henry? And they go, Henry, Henry from Suffolk Mind, no, no, the one with the handshake. Oh, yeah, I know Henry. That's it. Honestly, you can be the guy known as the guy with a handshake.

SPEAKER_02 56:30

Why not? There's worse you can be remembered for.

SPEAKER_00 56:32

Badge of honor. Do you know what? On that note, that is a perfect roundup for me. Henry, thank you so much for being on the podcast. And uh yeah, no doubt we'll have you back. Enjoyed it, thank you. Cheers, Henry.