The Prodigal Son: Finding Myself in the Story

This week at The Edwards Table, I’m continuing our April series by diving into one of the most well-known and deeply personal passages in Scripture—Luke 15:11–32, the parable of the prodigal son.

For so long, I thought I understood this story. But the more I’ve lived, the more I’ve realized… I’ve been more than one person in it.

In this episode, I share how this passage has become part of my own story—what it’s shown me about running, returning, grace, and the kind of love that doesn’t wait for you to have it all together before welcoming you home.

Whether you relate to the prodigal, the older brother, or you’re still figuring out where you fit—this conversation is an honest look at what it means to be seen, known, and loved right where you are.

Pull up a seat—there’s a place for you at the table.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, I'm Amy Edwards, and welcome to the Edwards Table. This podcast is all about real conversations. The kind that come from life, love, family, friendship, and all the messy, beautiful parts in between. I started this show because I believe in redemption stories and in sitting down together to talk about the things that shape us, heal us, and sometimes just make us laugh. So grab a seat, take a breath, and join me. Because there's always room for you here at the Edwards Table. Well, hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of the Edwards Table Podcast. My name is Amy Edwards, and I'm delighted to be your host. So thankful for any of you who've been with me on this journey so far. All of you who are joining that are brand new, welcome to the table. If you're able, I hope you'll grab something yummy to snack and uh sip while you're with us today. If you're working out, blessings to you. Uh driving, make sure you're focused on the road. So so glad to have you all. Uh, if you joined me last week, I did a QA with myself, which was kind of weird, but also I I don't know, I felt like it was a fun way to kick off the month of April because it actually aired officially on April the 1st. And so I thought, you know, we'd have a good time. I didn't play any April Fool pranks, so uh sorry if that was a disappointment. But um if you are new here, I am at this table, if you will. Right now I'm currently in my kitchen. Um, but uh season one, I sat down at my actual kitchen table and told my chronological story uh to my daughter. If you haven't listened and you're feeling a little lone out there, like you're the only one who's ever had certain things in your life go on, I would highly recommend you go and listen to my maid for probably Netflix. I think I could probably get a Netflix series out of my story up to this point. And uh 51 Trips Around the Sun, I got a lot of stories to share. And those are just a few, but definitely would love for you to pop back and go take a listen to what season one was all about. Season two, I have just really been leaning into my story. I brought my husband John along for a few of those episodes and kind of got his take on being my husband as a woman who is healing in a very big healing journey. Uh, and he has been definitely my biggest supporter, my biggest cheerleader, um, definitely the rock that I can sit upon, if you will, and can consistently know that even though it can be messy with me, um, and even though he gets frustrated with me at times, I know it'll be shocking to think I could cause such frustration in another human, but alas, here we are. Uh, that he's he's steadfast in our marriage. Uh, he and I have been married 29 years, and um it's not all been, you know, roses and sunshine and kicks and giggles, but it has definitely been uh longstanding and worth saying yes every single day. So as we kind of go into this month more, um there are weeks I'm gonna be really honest with y'all, I struggle with what to talk about. And it's not because I don't have plenty of stories to share and like my perspective, what I've been through, um, what my faith means to me throughout it, how God has woven just this beautiful ribbon of redemption throughout my entire story, like literally the entire story. But but there are still times where I feel like I'm just yammering on and is it really helping? Is it really making a difference? And that's always when, you know, I don't know about you, but I'm I'm excellent at a good pity party. So uh if you're team pity party like me, where you can get into your mind and think, oh gosh, I mean, I tried so hard, I put forth a really good effort, and this is all that's come from it. And boohoo me, because I did all the things good and right, and everyone else sucks. Uh yeah, not reality. Uh, I think we all know that, but very easy to get into that mindset for me. And so um this podcast is cathartic in that I get to bring you into my kitchen, which is my favorite spot, and talk about things. And if you've listened at all, you know that my faith is very important to me. And I am a Christ's follower. I love Jesus, um, accepted him as my Lord and Savior when I was five years old. Um, and uh, if you listen to my story, you'll know I'm not a perfect girl. I've made many mistakes along my journey. But the one thing that I can tell you is that God has always been there. Even when I've walked away and I've done things my own way, sometimes on really big things and taken, you know, like jaunts away from God, and sometimes on small things where, you know, he'll ask me to pause and listen, or he'll ask me to be still and I'll keep going. Um, equally as frustrating in the process, right? But reality is that he is steadfast. He is always there wherever I turn my head, I can find him. And I love that about my relationship with God. And a big piece of having that relationship with him is really and truly reading my Bible on a daily basis. Now, please don't hear that I am perfect at it. There are days where I do it as a checklist on my list of things for the day, and I crank out whatever it is I have on my list to read, and I do it. And then there are other times where I sit down and I truly read his word and I listen for what it is he's trying to teach me in that in that moment or in that passage of scripture that I've written, or excuse me, that I've written. That's hilarious, that I've read. Um, and so what I would love to do with you all is kind of give you just some glimpses into certain passages in the Bible that mean so much to me and the why, like how they tie back into my story and maybe how they have changed along the way. And so one season of my life that I have lived through, and listen, I'm gonna always say this off and on throughout any of my podcasts. When I start talking Christianees, if you are not a Christ follower, you are most welcome at this table. Your opinion counts just as much as someone who loves Jesus. Also, we tend to use some words that feel a little weird from an outside perspective, if I'm honest. Uh, and you'll find I'm very honest. And so if ever you hear me start talking what I call Christian knees, other people call it that too. I'm this is not an original term, uh, just give me a message, DM me on social media, you can message me on YouTube. I think there's a text app or excuse me, link on all of my podcast um links that you can go on there and it says like send us a message or something like that. Just click on it and and and give me give me all your questions, give me all your thoughts. I love a good conversation. I love to hear where you are in your life, and if I can help make my southern sysy accent and my Christianese make sense, I'm down for it. So, holla at a girl. With that said, um, the season of my life, and when I say season, like time period that I've been in, right? Also, side note, if you're from Texas, uh, which is where we currently live, uh, seasons are optional here. We pretty much have summer for about eight months, and then um what I would lovingly call for spring. We don't truly get fall, we don't truly get spring, we kind of get like bursts of cooler weather, and then occasionally an ice storm in February. So woo-hoo for Central Texas. Uh, but when I talked seasons, not eight months, maybe it is, maybe it's eight years, I don't know, but in the more recent past of my life, um, and this is a part of my story that there are pieces of my story that I don't share, and that is always because it will it is about someone that I either am related to or I'm very close to, and I it's not my story to tell, okay. But coming at it from this perspective, and I know most all of you, if not every single one of you listening can relate to this, and that is the story of the prodigal son. So I don't know about you, but there have been times in my life where I have known what the right things are to do, and I've made the decision to go a totally different direction, knowing full well that I'm risking and taking chances that are probably not worth it in the end, or maybe I feel like in the moment they are. But reality is that I know the direction I'm going is not the right one. Also, I'm a mom of two adult children. And so, you know, my children have obviously throughout their we little lives so far on this planet, have have made choices along in their path, in their journey, um, to push God away or to walk away from him, if you will, in certain certain times in their lives. So I'm gonna speak from a mom's perspective today and a little bit from mine too. It's gonna be a both end, but um about this whole concept of a prodigal uh son or daughter and being a prodigal son or daughter and what that looks like as a mom, but also what that looks like as a participant. And the why behind this, so if you're not familiar with the Bible, there's an old and a new testament. The New Testament is written um during and after the time Jesus was on the earth. The old testament is before he got here. So in the New Testament, the first four books of the Bible are called the Gospels. And if you're not familiar with the Bible and you really want to learn kind of what in the world I'm talking about, I would definitely start with the Gospel of John. So it goes in order Matthew, Mark, Luke, John. It's the fourth of the Gospels in the New Testament, and it's kind of in the back third of your Bible, if you will. Um, that is a really good starting point. The Gospel's kind of you're hearing from Jesus, those are the red words, um, and then the black words are the narrator of whoever's written. But hearing his words as he's teaching, as he's interacting with people, um, as he's interacting with his disciples. His disciples were students of his, okay, they're followers that are students learning what he's teaching. So in the book of Luke, actually, is where the parable, which is a small story, that Jesus would teach using these stories that were very relatable to people. Also remember during this time, so a couple thousand years ago, the average person like you and me, uh, we would not have access to have had access to written words unless we were in the Jewish culture, unless we were little boys being raised uh to become church leaders. Okay, so girls especially, you're out, and um there were definitely some who did learn how to read, but that was not the norm. Also, the common man, uh, so there were many young men who were not chosen to start following a rabbi. This is a teacher of the the uh Jewish church back in the day, uh synagogue, excuse me. They use we use all kinds of words, just don't get tripped up on that. Bottom line, rabbi, teacher, uh boys when they were young would start following to learn, right? So they were learning, they would have to memorize the first five books of the Bible and whatever at the time were scrolls, not even the Bible yet. So this whole concept of what Jesus was doing was transformative in that while he's walking the planet, he's going out and teaching just anyone who would come and listen. Um, and so it could be on a hillside, it could be out in the streets of the city, it could be anywhere that people were there and they were listening. So he would teach in these parables, which were short stories, they were very relatable. What he was talking about was something that people were either doing in their daily lives or they had experienced in their lives. It was very much blanketed for a man, a woman, a child to be able to hear and understand what he was talking about. And one of the parables that he teaches is called the parable of the lost son or the prodigal son. Um, I'm also going to pause here and say this. Girls, don't get frustrated in how we use pronouns in the Bible because at the time when these were being written, remember, men were the ones who were young boys being taught to become leaders and teachers. Not that women couldn't and not that women didn't. Also, it was common to use a male pronoun because that's the way our English was even written. Like it that's the way it used to be. So if you're younger and that's not as familiar because now we have, it's typical for us to use they for a group of people, or if you don't know, you would just say he slash she. Um, I'm a girl who got to learn that in my college English class. I actually failed a paper because I refused to do it, and then anyway, I digress. So um, all this to say, Jesus is teaching the story of the prodigal son. And the gist of the story is this there were two young men who were brothers, and the older brother, hardworking, diligent, day in, day out, got up, helped his father on their land doing all the things. Well, one day the younger son decided he was wanting to take his inheritance and he wanted to go sow his wild oats, if you will, go roam the world and go do his thing. And so the father did that. He gathered the money and his his inheritance and gave it to the young son. And wouldn't you know it, the young son went out and participated in all kinds of mess. So, you know, partying, um, sleeping with prostitutes. He was out and about having a big time in the world. And finally got to the point, he'd been living this life for a while, got to the point where he woke up in or was laying in, I don't know if he was asleep, what he, but was laying in um a pig style, and it it just hit him, oh my gosh, what am I actually doing here? Like, my father's um servants and farmhands and all of the men and women that work for him, like they live better than I'm living right now, and I have access to living under my father's roof. Maybe if I go home, tell him that I've come to my senses, apologize for thinking that life would be better without him. Maybe he'll let me just come be a servant in his under his household. And so he makes his way back home. And as he is coming closer to the house, the father runs out and embraces him and tells his servants, go, you know, slaughter the fattened calf, which um in our day and time would be, hey, we're throwing this huge party and we are pulling out all the stops. We are spending thousands of dollars on this because my son is home. He got a ring and the finest clothes, and like all the things that are typical, if memory serves, are typical for the oldest. And so the father is just like pouring out all of these bountiful gifts to this to this son, and just kissing him is just so joy filled that he's home. Remember, I told you about that brother? Well, he was kind of a grumpy girt, and uh when the party started, he refused to come in. And so the father told one of the servants, he was like, Hey, go go tell the oldest to come on in. You know, parties started and whatnot. And he told the servant, under no circumstances am I coming in. So the father goes out to himself to go talk to his older son and is talking with him and says, like, come on, you need to come in. We need to celebrate that your brother has returned home. And the older brother was defiant in that he said, I'm not coming in there. What you're doing for him should be for me. I'm the one always working and doing all the things, and I never took my money and ran and left and wasted it and all. You know, he did his whole pity party thing. Um, and the father just reminded him what a valuable decision his younger brother had made in this situation. So I think about this story, right? I think about when I've read Jesus' words and what is it he's trying to teach? One, and then two is who am I in that story currently? Now, one, Jesus trying to teach things, right? So obvious and straightforward things is that when somebody has the knowledge of what the right thing is to do and they make the decision to walk away and go do the wrong thing, when they have changed their mind, realized the error of their ways, if you will, and want to come back, it is our job as believers to welcome them open armed, right? With open arms, we welcome them back and we forgive them for what they've done, uh, either to us or around us, if you will. And we need to make it a big deal. We need to celebrate it because it is a very big deal when somebody has decided to walk away from their faith and then decide to come back to it. That's straightforward. That's pretty obvious from Jesus' words and what he says in the book of Luke. The reality is, is how do I behave in these situations? So let's take it from a mom's perspective, right? In this situation, am I going to be the father that runs out and welcomes my adult children when maybe they've made a really rotten decision and it hurts my feelings and it hurts my heart and it makes it really difficult to be around them? And the the honest answer is no. Initially, I tend to be the big brother. I tend to be the big brother. Uh, you know, because it's like, look it, I have been loving you well, I have been serving you well, I have raised you well, I have shown you well, I, I, I, I did all, all, all, all of these things for you. And then look at what you're doing in return. Like, wow. Let me be really honest. It is very humbling when I get in that headspace of, oh my gosh, look at all that I've done as your mom, and yet here's how you repay me. When I start to step back and I look at Christ's life here on this earth and what he did for me, it is so humbling to think that even all of those years back, um, when I was a young woman, I made a horrific decision to abort my baby. And if you're interested in wanting to listen to that story, it's actually episode three of season one. Um, feel free to pop back there and take a listen. But I know that even before I was born, God knew that that was going to be my choice, and still Jesus died for all of the sins that I've committed and will continue to commit until I die. Because I am not a perfect girl. Let me just tell you that. And so this thought of being the older brother in the story, of being all grumpy and foul, and look at me, look what I've done, look at all the things I've done along the way. I'm right, I've done all the things, but he completely misses the point that, yes, and you will still get your inheritance. Nowhere in there did the father take the older brother's inheritance and give it to the younger son. He gave the younger son what was justif, justifiably his in the in the inheritance, right? In his in the will of the father. Here's my here's what I have set aside for you. Nowhere in there did the father ever say that he was not going to give the older son his his just um inheritance. All he said was, it's your responsibility when somebody has left and they see the error of their ways, like they defiantly walk away, but they see the error of their ways and they come back and ask to be forgiven. It is absolutely your job to welcome them with open arms. And I think what is so powerful for me, like I said, is a horrific choice as As having an abortion is, and the pain that it causes, the ripple effect that it has, longstanding, longstanding what I did. There are many people's lives who were impacted, um, and not in a good way, right? And yet, God knew that before the earth was created. He knew that before I was ever a glimmer in my parents' eyes. And he still said yes to me. He still said yes. I am going to knit you together in your mother's womb. I am going to know the number of hairs on your head. I am going to put you on this planet. I am going to take your story, and we are going to move my kingdom forward together. I sent my son, knowing, Amy, in a couple of thousand years, you are going to be on this planet and you are going to be here planned with purpose to fulfill my will. I know that I am going to still say yes to you. Because that's who God is. That is what God does. That is the beautiful thing of how he redeems all of our messy, all of the awful, foul things that we think and say about people in our hearts and our minds. He knows it, he hears it, he sees it. And yet he still, with planned purpose, has us on this planet and still he chases us. He goes after all of us. He wants us. He is constantly trying to draw us near to him. And it just gets me so one mad at myself because I'm like, golly, Aim, why? Why can't you just lay that down and just be so thankful and be so grateful and stop being such a grump butt about things that people do or say? Because girl, like your laundry list is long. You ain't nobody got time for that. You you've done plenty more than plenty, probably more than the average person in all your thoughts. Maybe not that you've gone out there and like whack somebody upside the head, but you have used some words that literally could kill people twice the way you speak to them. Uh, your looks, ma'am, fix your face. We need to minister to that face all the days. You know, like it's just so beautiful to know that God, in his infinite wisdom and in his infinite love for us, that he always makes a way, like always makes a way if we're willing to say yes. And and that for me, I I just I could gush on and on, but that for me is so powerful. It is so, so powerful. So the other thing I was looking at too, and I've I actually I've got my my Bible. Um, it's the one John bought for me when we first got married with my married name on it. I was so proud of that. Um, not big things in this life of mine that that you have to do for me. Um I'm pretty satisfied with the little things. Um, but just thinking back to like what the father was saying to the son in this, and I'll read you. So this is from Luke chapter 15, and here I'll start with the older brother's reaction when he was being a grump. It's chapter 15, verse 28. And I okay, also pause real fast. Bibles. There are all kinds of versions of Bibles. What that means is there are different um really organizations, because it's a team of people that have interpreted scripture and things like that. Some of them have uh put the Bible in more traditional talking terms, like what you and I speak today, versus like if you were to pick up a King James Version Bible, they uh the old King James especially is like uh there are a lot of ye and thou and theyist, because it's written in old English. Um it's not to say it's inaccurate because it's not when you lay it down next to um a more current version of wording and whatnot. I use the NIV, depending on the pastor you listen to. They are they may love it, they may not love it, whatever, whatever. But this is a Bible that I feel comfortable in because I'm I've been in it for a long time. Uh but again, you're not familiar, want to learn. Uh my favorite place to start if you're not a believer is the Jesus Storybook Bible. And I will link it below. Um, I think they sell my, I know they sell them on Amazon. Um, it's a children's Bible, and you may be like, please, I'm not reading the children's Bible. Oh, I I wish you would. I really wish you would. One, the illustrations are phenomenal, they're beautiful. It looks like uh watercolors, and it's just beautiful. Um, but two is is that it tells the story of the Bible. It's not chapters and verses like this is, but it tells the stories to show you how Jesus is woven through the whole Bible, start to finish. Um, and it's just a beautiful way to see it from a child's perspective. There's my my hot take, uh of which I am sponsored by none of these people. So hopefully I don't get in trouble for recommending them. But um, it's by far one of my favorite Bibles to give to children, and it's also by far my favorite way to tell people who are not familiar with the Bible this is a great spot to start, um because it's it's so beautifully done the way that they've written it. So in any case, my Bible, NIV, Chain Thompson reference and all kinds of really cool stuff in here. I can geek out, but I won't. So we're in Luke 15 uh verse 28. And it says the older brother, because excuse me, the older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pled with him. But he answered his father, look, all those years I've been slaving for you and have never disobeyed your orders, yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when the son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him. My son, the father said, you are always with me and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is found. I just I cannot tell you how precious those words are to me. Because the reality is, is that no matter how many more days, months, years I have left on this planet, um, I am going to make mistakes. I am going to turn my gaze away from God, if you will. Like, um, because I will look to myself to be strong enough and know all of the things, wise enough, you know, like know all the things and whatever. There are going to be days where I'm going to make huge mistakes, and there are going to be other days where I make small mistakes, no matter. But the beautiful thing of what God's word tells us in this is that as a follower of Christ, we we have the inheritance of eternal life in heaven with Jesus. And that is like literally the most assuring beautiful gift, but also so overwhelming. Because if you celebrated Easter, you probably went to church. And if you did, you heard someone hopefully talking about the fact that the tomb was empty when uh the two Marys and the women went to see it the third day. And the amazing part of that was that Jesus was crucified on the cross, uh, died, and rose again, came back and defeated that grave. Death is no more. So as a believer, as someone who said what they call the sinner's prayer, you know, making um it very clear to God, I know that I am nothing without you. I know that I make mistakes. I it's called sin. And we all sin. There is not a one of us on this planet that doesn't do it. Not even the Pope, y'all. Um, but I know that I do that, and without you, Jesus, I am nothing. Nothing. And for that, I want you to be the Lord of my life. That simple prayer, simple prayer to acknowledge who you are and acknowledge who he is, um, begins your journey with him and gives you the peace that is supernatural. It says in the Bible it passes all understanding because it's supernatural. I couldn't tell you why. I cannot explain why I feel peaceful in the midst of some horrifically crazy storms in my life, other than God. It's the only way I can explain it, right? But the beautiful thing that I get to rest in is the fact that God is with me every step of my journey here on this planet. He never leaves us, never forsakes us. And one day, when I take my last breath here on this earth, I will spend my eternity in heaven with God. And I think that the unfortunate part of where we are in today's society is a lot of people only talk about the fact that we have this grace and this goodness, right? Which is great. It's amazing, it's lovely. But y'all, the the sad and the very scary part is that if we don't make that decision, the opposite of being able to spend eternity in heaven with God is spending hell in eternity without him. Hell is a place that God cannot be. He cannot be, he cannot exist there. And you and I can't understand that. None of us can, because God is on the everywhere we are. The Holy Spirit is all around us, in us if we believe in him, right? So we can't fathom what that truly means to not have God in us, to not have God around us, because we have never experienced that. Ever. Ever. Once Jesus came, it changed it all. The Holy Spirit came, it changed it all for everyone. So you and I, in this day and age, we can't fathom what it would be like to not have God in our presence because He is omnipresent, He's everywhere, He's everywhere, but He's not going to be in hell. So if you're out there listening and you've hung in there this long with me, you let me read out of my Bible and anything that I've said sounds a little bit questionable, or like I am full of myself, or you're angry, uh, you're frustrated. Maybe once upon a time you used to go to church and maybe you used to listen to, you know, like, I don't know, music, Christian music or whatever, and you've walked away because maybe somebody hurt you, or maybe you chose a life that you made some really, really poor decisions and you feel unforgivable, even though maybe the pastor or the priest told you that you could be forgiven for your sins, but you just don't buy it. I get it, I get it. I truly can say I understand that because I assure you, when I lay on that table and that doctor was so nasty and ugly to me, and I was weeping, knowing what he was getting ready to do to my baby was wrong. And I did it anyway because I was scared and I felt hopeless. I get it, but I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt, it is because I put my trust back into God. It is because I go back into his word on the hard days, and y'all, there are hard days as a mom, as a wife, as a woman, I can tell you, and it does not take much for a switch to flip in my head to start lying to me about who I am as those women, right? As a mom, as a wife, and just as a human being. But the beautiful part is I can always go back to the word. I can always pray and talk to God, and he will always speak to me through his word, and he will always listen to me as I pray to him, and he'll always speak to me when I am able to sit and listen to him. Always. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I can tell you that's a guaranteed. And I do not use the words always and never often unless I can say them with 100% certainty. So if that's you, please message me. I would love, love, love to have a conversation. We could do a Zoom call and we could talk more. Um, if I've worn you out with it, I'm not sorry. Sorry, not sorry. I'm not even saying sorry, I'm not sorry. I am beyond joy-filled to know that that is a gift that all of us have the ability to receive. And if my story will help you learn a little bit more about who God is and how he can take absolutely horrible situations. You're you're listening to a woman who was sexually molested by her father. Please don't tell me I don't know where I'm coming from because I do. And I can still sit here before you today, and I can still tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that God can take that disgusting, horrible time in my life, and he can use my father's parents to teach me about Jesus and to help me find him and become a believer. God can redeem anything. And I am sitting before you as living proof. So with that, I hope that you take a morsel of what I've told you today. If you're a believer, I hope it just gave you a refreshed spirit. If you are not a believer, I hope that it is making you grumpy. You know why? Because that is God speaking to your heart. And that tells me that there's a seed that he's planted there for you. And before you get all freaked out, there's not going to be a tree literally growing out of your chest. Okay? Breathe. All that means is, is we use that terminology talking about our faith. Seeds that grow into great big trees. And so, with that, you all, I hope that he sprinkled you full of seeds today. And I hope that they well up in you and grow big, big, big, and that one day, one day, you and I will be chatting in eternity, talking about this very moment where you got to listen to a bit of my story and God used it in a mighty and powerful way. With that, have an incredible rest of your day or sleep well if you're turning out for the night, whatever it is, and wherever you are in the world. I see you out there, Singapore. Oh my gosh, y'all are loving me so well in Asia. Thank you. I see you in South Africa. I see you all in Europe and definitely here in the US. I see you in the UK. I see all of y'all. Thank you so much for tuning in. And I hope you'll join me again. Y'all next week. I cannot wait. I'm gonna talk to you about my favorite book of the Bible. Uh, and I'm gonna tell you exactly why. So, in the meantime, thanks for grabbing a seat and a snack and joining me at the Edwards Table, where there is always a seat right here just for you. Till next time, see y'all.