Knowing God Like I Knew Her

This week at The Edwards Table, Amy continues sharing pieces of her story and the way scripture has shaped her healing and her relationship with God.

In this episode, she focuses on three verses that remind her of who God truly is—especially in the moments when she feels distant, unsure, or overwhelmed in her pursuit of Him. These aren’t just verses she’s read… they’re truths she’s had to come back to again and again.

Amy also shares a personal memory of her grandma and how reflecting on that relationship has helped her understand what it looks like to know someone deeply and personally—and how that perspective has changed the way she sees God.

If you’ve ever struggled to connect with God or wondered what He’s really like, this episode is an invitation to come back to the simplicity of who He says He is.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, I'm Amy Edwards and welcome to the Edwards Table. This podcast is all about real conversations. The kind that come from life, love, family, friendship, and all the messy, beautiful parts in between. I started this show because I believe in redemption stories and in sitting down together to talk about the things that shape us, heal us, and sometimes just make us laugh. So grab a seat, take a breath, and join me. Because there's always room for you here at the Edwards Table. Hey y'all, and welcome back to this week's episode of the Edwards Table Podcast. My name is Amy Edwards, and I'm delighted to be your host each week as we sit down either at my table or as we are right now in my kitchen, and just kind of talking through my journey in life. So if you're not familiar, definitely pop back into season one and take a listen. But just a lot of things that I have lived through along the way in this life here on planet Earth, and um just how my faith in God and just leaning into His Word in the Bible kind of lays down next to that. Like how I've gotten through some of the really hard things, how this healing journey that I've been on, like what that looks like. And so today, um what I really wanted to do past couple of weeks, I guess we've been kind of jumping into the word, right? Like hearing some things in the Bible and listening to how those lay down next to my story. Why do I why do I go to the Bible? Why do I get into God's word and really lean into that for my faith? And I think um today we'll kind of tie that up really nicely in terms of the why. Um, but I have so many stories, I guess, is the thing. And so I could I could drone on for days and days, and thankfully some of you are willing to listen to that. So today, what I really wanted to talk about was actually kind of a compilation of verses, and the why behind me choosing these really goes back to a story about my grandmother. So my my mom's mom, on my mother's side, maternal grandmother, um, definitely an integral human in my life. She definitely was someone who, as a little girl, I have very fond memories. Um, she was a lover of the written word. Uh, she was a lover of conversation, um, and she was a lover of a simple life. She was not uh showy or flashy, um, but she was always very well put together. So, like she would always have a nice outfit on, whether it be pants or a dress. Uh, if she was wearing dress, she always wore high heels, always, because she was a very petite lady. So I think um partly her generation, but also partly because she was so petite. Uh, she liked to be a little closer to eye level, if you will. Um, but one of my absolute fondest memories about my grandmother was she wore a fire engine red lipstick. It was so bright. Like she always, you know, you'd have to like tell her to like eh, wipe your teeth, grandma, because she'd always have like a lipstick every once in a while. We'll get caught there. Um, but it was just this bright red lipstick. And one of my all-time favorite memories as a little girl, especially, is when she would kiss me and she would give me a little kiss on the cheek, and I would have her lipstick on my cheek, and I would wear that with me. Um, and I don't know why. That was one of those memories that just kind of popped up when I started thinking about what I wanted to talk with y'all about today. But it just, it's one of those memories. I don't know if you have memories like these where it'll kind of come back, you haven't thought about it maybe in many years, but then when you do, it just almost makes your cheeks hurt because you smile so big. That's definitely this memory for me as a little girl. Like my grandmother was someone who was a very big cheerleader for me, but also was realistic in how she cheered. She wasn't um syrupy and just over the top about like, oh my god, you're so amazing and whatever. She no, she also was realistic in how she did it. So if I actually had an accomplishment that deserved recognition, she would certainly be excited for me and congratulatory toward me and things of that nature. But she also wasn't a liar to me. And I know that sounds harsh, but I think in today's world, um, and I've been guilty of it as a parent as well, we lie to our kids. Like this whole idea of, you know, you can be everything, that's not reality. Like, also, who wants to be everything? Let's go be something, one thing. Let's be a great at one or maybe two things, but like you can't be excellent at all things. You'll be mediocre or subpar at all if you try to do it all, right? So I really have this mad respect and admiration for my grandmother. And and trust me, it wasn't always easy to hear when she would tell me the truth. Um, she was definitely a truth teller. If I sought out her opinion, she would let me know her honest thoughts in that. But never in my life did I ever have a memory of her where she did not wear that fire engine red lipstick. And she would always kiss me on the cheek, and I would get her lips on my cheek. So, like, even as a young adult, um whenever I would see my grandmother, she would give me a hug and a kiss, and I would, I would have a little lipstick there on the old cheeky poo. Um, as a little girl, I typically wore it with as a badge of honor. Obviously, as I got older, I mean, you know, not many teenage girls want to go out in public with lipstick um uh lip prints on their face. However, it was a very sweet memory to me. And I was just thinking about that relationship with I had that I had with my grandmother and how very precious it was to me and the bits and pieces of that that I take with me as I am entering into that season of my life where I'm becoming a grandmother. And uh just you know, really thinking about, I don't know, so many things of that, like what my legacy is gonna be when I do leave this planet, because one day I will pass away. Um, unless of course Jesus comes back. But but like what do I want that to look like and um kind of how I landed here? And I think those are the parts of of being a grandmother that I lean into. I want memories with my grandchildren to be core memories, if you will, and also um I want it to be surrounding, you know, laughter and fun and and and wisdom. I want them to learn from me. I want them prayerfully to learn from me so that they don't make my same mistakes, but also um in ways that they are just better human beings than me. That that's my dream is to have a legacy of better humans that are just in love with the Lord and who rest in his word and who chase after him. So with that, I was kind of combing through scripture this morning, actually, um, because I had had some verses kind of rolling around in my brain and was thinking about those, and and it keeps coming back to the same ones, and there are three of them that I want to share with you today. And I think this is what's so powerful about God and who he is as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, like um in heaven and on earth, and how he is just he's always been. There's never been a time he's not been. So before the earth was even created, before we had sky and um atmosphere and planets and the sun and the stars and the moons and all the things, before we had any of that, God was present. He was in existence. Um, and he'll outlive the earth. And um, whatever that looks like, and I'm not trying to get sideways with any one of y'all out there, but um, I just know that he is in scripture, he is called many things, and and one is alpha and omega, beginning and end. There is no beginning and end to him, he's infinite. And so thinking about that, and then coming down a little bit closer to earth, if you will, and looking at it, and then thinking about what he writes in his word over and over, like many times over, it talks about how he knows us intimately. Um, he knows our thoughts, he knows our comings and our goings, and um he knew us before we were even created, and he knows us as eternal beings. Like it just is mind-blowing. Um, if you just sit and think about God, I think all of us could go down a rabbit hole of not moving for days because it just takes your mind in all of these different places. And I think with that comes many, many, many, many, many questions. And so when I get overwhelmed with all of that and I think about it, I definitely always return to this right here, which I'm holding up my Bible. Um, and I like a paper copy. I'm a paper copy girl. In fact, I also have this next to me, which is this uh Ratty notebook that I hold near and dear to my heart, but it's where I will take, I'm a pen and paper kind of a gal. So there you go. And you can see my very favorite um kind of pen is ultra fine. I like like a 0.4 writing utensil. Uh, it's very similar to a pencil, which I love writing with pencil as well. But if I'm taking notes, I want them in ink. So this is the closest thing I've found that gets me there. Um, so uh shout out to uh who is this? I don't even know. And given my light, I can't read because I'm old. Oh yeah, a pen tell. Not shocking. Um, not exorbitant, but definitely a favorite of mine. Can buy them anywhere. So if you like a really ultra fine pen, pentel is definitely my thing. But I um was kind of penning some ideas. So John and I have been doing a class. Uh it's three weeks at our church, and it's on Sunday evenings, and um, it's this like brain dump of tons of information about who Jesus is and uh kind of what his life means, right? Um, and with it, this is kind of an uh a very dense overview of something that they've written for uh folks who are becoming believers, like who may be brand new at it or maybe uh aren't quite there yet, but really want to get to know more about this, right? So the name of this series is called um uh strong Christian. Golly, that shouldn't be that difficult, but yeah, here we are. Um, so it's called Strong Christian, and it really kind of is a high-level dive into uh what why why I believe what I believe as a Christian, who Jesus is. Um, this past week we talked about Jesus and salvation. So salvation, big word about um asking him to become our Lord and Savior. Yes, I believe in you, and I want you as Lord over my life. So that means I'm going to actually chase after you. I'm actually going to get into your word and learn more, and I'm gonna pray and talk to you and have a relationship with you. Um and a very, very dear friend uh who also is an exceptionally wise woman, she has these beautiful word pictures, if you will, and and something that I take from her, and I actually shared last night in this group setting that I encourage people to always quote steal from her or borrow and put quotes around, if you will. But when we talk about pursuing Christ, like becoming his friend, I think about my grandmother. I think about the lipstick and that just the tender sweetness of that memory. But then when my friend talks about it, she says her prayer in her life as she is now is that she wants to pursue Christ so closely that she's so close to Jesus that she can touch the hem on his garment, which that's something you hear in scripture a lot. People, you know, just being so close that you can touch him, or um like his his smell is kind of what I think about. So, like, think about someone who you really love and they give the best hug, and you go in for the hug, and it's an entire experience because it's you can feel you already know what that feeling is gonna be when they give you that big old hug, and then you take in that deep breath and you can smell their smell, right? All of us, we all have that that smell of what we put on our skin and if we use perfume or cologne and what we wash our laundry in, and have we been inside or outside, and just there is that smell that belongs to that person. And so when I think about being so close to God, pursuing after him so closely as as it's as it is, right, that I could just oh, I could just breathe him in. I could just smell his aroma, that that his smell. And golly, when I get to heaven, I can't wait for that embrace, like that big old hug to actually physically feel what in my heart I think I'm feeling, but actually be able to like grab Jesus and give him a big old hug around the neck and him hug me so tightly, and just that that that smell that he has, like his smell. I I don't know. I think about those things, and I mean it it makes me grin because it's something definitely to look forward to because I know heaven can feel overwhelming to think about for some. Um, of us, me being one of them. I definitely have struggled with that in my life and wrestled with, you know, the overwhelming thought of eternity and what that is and all of the good things that go with that. Um, but like I cannot wait to have that time with him. And I cannot wait to be able to embrace my grandmother again and smell her, albeit I won't smell some things on her because uh we won't be eating and drinking, so I won't smell the coffee on her breath anymore, and definitely not the cigarettes. Uh, I don't think those will be there either. I could be wrong, y'all. I don't know. Don't don't quote me and don't say it's it's anywhere in the Bible because it's not, um, other than I know we we won't be crying and weeping, and there won't be pain and sorrow and suffering, and um all things will be made right and whole again. And so I'm guessing we're probably not gonna be smoking cigarettes up in heaven. Um, but thinking about those things and trying to get closer to him, right? So the best way to get closer to Jesus is to read the word. That is who Jesus is called in scripture, among a myriad of other things. There's so many names for Jesus, um, as um they are definitely um nouns and sometimes verbs, but they are acting as adjectives as well. So they describe him and they tell of him. So, like for instance, God is a love. Uh, it describes God, but it's also an it's a verb. He is it, this is him or adverb. So, okay, also don't come at me with grammar. Y girl, it's not grammar today. We're not grammatically correct, I'm sure. So let's jump in, let's talk about these three verses that came to mind. Many more that you can find, I know, but uh one in particular is Matthew chapter 10, verse 30. Okay, so in Matthew chapter 10, verse 30, Jesus is actually um sending the 12 disciples out, meaning he is um getting ready, he knows he's getting ready to face death and resurrection. We have Easter, yay. Um, but he knows this is coming, and so he it's time for him to send them out and kind of give them a call on their life for a while when he's not physically with them anymore, right? So Jesus is talking to his disciples, and um he's giving them all these instructions, right, of how to be as um followers of him, how to how to be out in the world, if you will. And so in Matthew chapter 10, verse 30, um he has been talking about not being afraid and um just what he he's been telling them in the dark. In other words, they've been behind closed doors, but now it's coming out into the light, it's going out into the whole world, and they are going to be the truth tellers that are going to be here on earth doing that as well. And so he's just talking about the value of the creation. So um actually we'll jump up one verse in 29 and it says, Are you are not two sparrows sold for a penny, yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your father? So, in other words, even God in heaven um is caretaking for all of the creation, so not just um, you know us as humans, but like even the animals are are are taken care of by God. So, like if he's taking care of the animals, right, how much more is he caring for us? And so the next verse in 30, and even the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So do not be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows. I think about in that chapter, or excuse me, in that verse 30 of Matthew chapter 10, the fact that God knows out of the billions upon billions of humans that have ever been and ever will be walking this planet, at this very moment, he can tell you how many hairs are on my head. They're numbered. He knows. He knows that about you. And so when I think about having an intimate relationship with God, right, and getting to truly know him and allowing him to truly be in all of my life, the fact that the creator of the universe also knows the number of hairs on Amy Lynn Edwards' head, that is mind-boggling. And also how very kind and compassionate our creator is to know that kind of detail about us. Like, I have very few exceptionally close friends. I keep that circle absolutely just the tiniest. I have a lot of acquaintances and a lot of people that I would call friends, but very close to me, super intimate, absolutely know most of my things. I mean, I can count on a hand, and that's on purpose. And I think that that's healthy. Um, again, not everybody agrees, but here we are. But I think about that, and even in my closest relationships, I couldn't tell you that about, I couldn't tell you that about John, who is absolutely my best friend. I mean, and I know him as intimately as I will ever know another human on this planet. So I I just think about that and I'm like, wow, God who created the universe also is careful and kind enough to know that kind of detail about me. That's it's just remarkable to me. It's remarkable to me. Um, and it makes me knowing that and being in the word and reading those words in the scripture, it makes me want to know him that much more, right? I mean, because you're talking about you look at a at a Bible, that 66 books that are that are all together in the Word. And in all of those words, there are many, many, many, many, many verses that tell us so many things about who God is and who Jesus is and who the Holy Spirit is and what they all mean to each of us and what they've done uh before, during, and after our lives, or what they will be doing. And I it's just it's mind-blowing, okay? It's just mind-blowing. Okay, so let's look at another verse. So if you go back in the Old Testament, in the book of Jeremiah, which I am flipping to, fun fact, when I was in elementary school, I went to a wee little Lutheran school. If you listen before, you know. And one of the things we had was memory work. And so we actually had to memorize the books of the Bible. And so um I have known the books of the Bible, I think, since first grade. Um and yeah, remarkable. Um, is there any of my estrogen song properties back? Um, and so yeah, I love that I had to learn those. I didn't love it then. Let me tell you, it was very stressful. I'm not really good with memorization. It stresses me out to no end. Okay, so turned into Jeremiah chapter one, verse uh five is where we're gonna land. So um So Jeremiah is the name of a book, but it's also the name of a person. And what he was was a priest. So if you're Catholic, that makes sense. If you're not, that doesn't. Let's think pastor, leader of a church, if you will. Priests back in biblical times had a different uh list of job qualifications, and also some of what they did is a little bit different. We're not going to jump into that, but just know. If you're new to Christianese and being all the things in this world, um, just think about like a pastor, someone who is um called by God and is teaching him about him. Okay. So in Jeremiah chapter 1, verse 5, um he's talking about that the word of the Lord came to him. So like when I talk to you about God speaking to my heart and telling me things, um, this is his experience. And what he says is, the word of the Lord came to me saying, Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart, I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. So in actually those verses, I think I went four, five, six, but in those verses in Jeremiah, what it's talking about is one, Jeremiah hearing God speak to his heart, right, and talking to him. And then two is is that God knew before his mother was pregnant with him, so before he was formed in her womb, um he already knew Jeremiah was going to be one of his called priests. He was going to call him to be a priest. He knew his life. And if you're like me, that is overwhelming to hear at first. Like that feels um very overwhelming. I don't know of another good word to really describe it, but that just seems a little bit contained as well, right? Like when I first read that, um, well, maybe not the very first time, but over the course of years of like learning about more in the scriptures and things like that, it just felt more contained in my mind, right? Like, okay, God, so you create this fella and you already know you're creating him, and you've got a call on his life. But the beautiful thing about God is he's uncontainable. Like we can't put him into our a box that we want him in. Um, and when we start saying he can only be, we can't use the word only with God, um, unless we are saying a generic only, like God can only be holy. That is truth. He can, he can't, he's only perfect. Like those are only that he can be. But when we say, well, God can only do this thing, or God can only um, I don't know, where we limit him in our head and in our mind, that is one, dangerous. It's a very slippery slope to jump on. And then two is is it then limits God, and God's limitless. And so when I think about the fact that he said that about Jeremiah, but he said that also in other verses. That's just one that came to my head, my mind today, where he called someone to do things for his kingdom, where, you know, in other words, go out and talk to and tell and teach people about me so that they can make the decision to become Christ's followers and uh come to heaven when they die. And in this time, not a Christ follower because that's the Old Testament before Jesus. It's okay. Teaching people about God, right? But the fact that God knew me before I was created and knew he was gonna use my story and my life to actually grow his kingdom. In other words, because you are listening to my story, maybe something I'm telling you is gonna help you grow closer to God. And then because of that, you then are going to go talk to other people or and live your life in a way that shows people that you love Jesus. And it's gonna draw them closer to Him and potentially them accepting Him and following Him as their Lord, like the ripple effect of God knowing us before we were in our mother's womb, when He before earth was created, and we learn about that back in the first book of the Bible, Genesis, it says, you know, He He knew and He planned, like He knew all of this. And I think what I take away from this verse is not so much the containment that that feels now or then, how I used to feel, but what I really received from this verse is the fact that He chose to use my story. And I just even knowing, like knowing that I have made some horrific choices in my life and I have done some really awful things I in the way I've treated people and the way I've treated I've treated my body and myself. Um I just am baffled by the fact that he would be willing to do that for me. Like even though I've messed up, he still continues to take my ugliness and turn it into beauty for his kingdom. That is so amazing and gorgeous and so gracious. He is so grace-filled, and I just love that. Wow, what a great God! What an amazing God. There aren't words to describe that, right? So thinking in terms of that and in line with this whole fact that like God knew me before, knows me now, knows me when, um, I think about this last verse that I jotted down, and it is from one of my all-time favorite psalms. So if you take your Bible and you open it pretty much to the middle of your Bible, you're gonna, well, that doesn't look very much like the middle, but um also I have a lot of stuff in the back, but if you open it to the middle, that pretty much takes you to the book of Psalms. And um, the book of Psalms is a compilation of poems and songs that multiple writers actually wrote, and then it was all compiled into this book, right? A large number of the psalms are written by King David. So if you've been listening along, he's the the fellow with that's we know most all of us have heard, whether you are into Bible stuff or not, about the the little lad with the little pouch of five stones and a slingshot, and he flung it and killed the giant. That's David. Um so in Psalm 139, this is one of my favorites, and I'll tell you the reason why, is because this was written at a time when um David was going through a tough spell. And one of the things I really respect about and appreciate um about David is uh now he was um he was an anointed king of God. Uh he had been anointed young and then didn't become king for like I think it's 40 years. Don't quote me, but I think so. And so during those years, there was another king at the time, King Saul, and he uh had some kind of psychological stuff going on. He really wrestled with um having evil spirits like demons that were just wreaking havoc with his mind and heart uh along the way. And um so he would he was very um aggressive toward David and like was pursuing him and not in a good way, trying to kill him for years. Uh, and so David would cry out to God, and when he would, he would um he would write these these either songs or poems, you know, however uh he wrote them for God. But in Psalm 139, it's definitely one of my favorite psalms because it is just one of those. I am on my face crying out to you, God. Like I can't even get up on my knees to pray to you. I literally am laying face down, weeping, and just begging you, right? And trusting that you're gonna do all the good things in my life. And so I look at Psalm 139, and it's it's a little bit lengthy. Um, I'm not gonna read the whole thing, but in in this psalm in verse 13, it says, For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. In the next verse, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well. If you read the whole, the whole Psalm 139, which I would highly recommend, um, you can just hear David and where he is in his heart and what he's asking of the Lord, and also um finding in difficult situations the ability to praise God and thank him. And how beautiful is it that you knew me and my innermost being. In other words, no matter how closely we get to someone, albeit typically our spouse is who is going to be our closest um human that we know, and as transparent as we are with them, we even then have, you know, memories or things that have happened in our lives, or thoughts or feelings or whatever. And not that we're we're intentionally keeping them from them, right? But maybe that we've forgotten about. We lived it when we were younger. Um, it wasn't a huge thing in our life, and therefore we didn't remember to tell them. But the beautiful thing is that God knows us intimately, our our innermost being and in everything that's woven into our heart and our mind and our soul. He knows it all, and he remembers it all in terms of the knowledge of us. Now, when I say he remembers it all, I'm not saying he holds it against us. Praise God for Jesus dying on that cross and coming back from the dead, because that washes all of the sin, the icky out, um, and leaves behind a beautifully perfect creation in God's sight. So I'm not saying that God's holding those things against us. What I'm saying is that He knows it. He knows us that intimately. He knows. There is nowhere we can travel on this planet. There's nowhere that we can numb ourselves to, albeit through alcohol, drugs, any kind of addiction we struggle with, like we can't numb it away. God knows it. God knows it no matter. Whether we're out loud sharing it or we're holding it as tightly as we can inside and not talking about it and trying desperately to hide it from everyone. You can't hide from God. Go back into Genesis and you'll find that out very quickly early in Genesis. Adam and Eve. Eve grabbed the fruit, took it, and hand took a bite, handed it to Adam. Adam stood back instead of saying something to her in the moment, because God had told him, do not eat from the tree. Um, and why and what would happen? From the one tree. There's one tree out of all the trees in the whole garden of Eden. There was one, God said, not to eat from from there. Um, and wouldn't you know Satan shows up and just wreaks havoc. But even then, we see God knows where Adam and Eve are at all times in the Garden of Eden, Eden, and they're hiding themselves in shame and they're clothing themselves. They realize that they have been naked this whole time, not having realized that before sin entered the world. And um, and even then, I mean, first book that we read in y'all of the Bible, and God's telling us, look, it there's nowhere you can go that I don't know where you are and what you're thinking and what you're feeling. I know, I know where you are, I know what you're thinking, I know what you're feeling. I'm just asking you to come talk to me about it. Come let me be part of it. I'm not gonna intervene, I'm not gonna be in your mess and be in your business, even though I know about it. And the closest visual visual I have for that is as a mom, that is very much what I've always told my kids. Just because I don't talk about it doesn't mean I don't know. Ugh, but that's the truth. I know most of what goes on in my kids' lives, albeit in the in real time or maybe after the fact, and sometimes I know ahead of time what's getting ready to happen, right? You see the train getting ready to run off the tracks. Um, and parenting adult children, y'all. Let me tell you, if you're young mamas out there, young daddies out there, hang in there. Uh, I'd love to tell you that, you know, infancy is the hardest phase, toddlerhood, uh, odd years as they get serious, sassy mouths, tweens, teens. No, y'all, none of that. None of that. I would say parenting adult children is probably by far my most difficult season as a mom. Not because my kids are always like really hard, difficult humans, albeit they have their moments, let me assure you, we all do. But it's because the shift in become being a parent to an adult is it's a whole new level of learning for me as a mom. Like it's not appropriate for me to give all the opinions and whatever else, even though I don't even have to talk to my kids to truly know what's going on in their lives. I can tell in terms of how many times I'm talking to them, how many times am I hearing from them, when we are talking, what's being talked about, and like because I know them, I know them better than most, if not all, people, because carried them in my belly, raised them from birth through life, and uh that's part of being a mama. Um getting to know your children on that kind of a level because you've been part of their life, albeit whether you're a bio mom, a mom who's adopted children, a stepmom, an honorary mom, a foster mom. It doesn't matter what kind of mom you are, let me tell you. We are wired to be caretakers and we jump on that like nobody's business. So we get to know it as a mama. We get to know our kids really, really, really, really, really, really, really well. And even though we know that child so well, we still don't know them as well as God knows them. That to me is mind-boggling that he knows me better than my parents. He knows me better than my husband. And my husband probably knows me better than my parents. But like, you know what I'm saying? Like, even though these people know me intimately and like transparently know me well, God knows me even more. That is just, I don't even know what to say to y'all, other than that is so amazing. And so, why I thought about like this story with my grandmother and all of those things, it's just one of those things that is so tender to me. And I love having a real life experience that I can kind of associate God with in terms of trying to take something so uncontainable like God and be able to put a little bit of human to him, if you will. It just helps me love him that much more. I don't know if that makes sense, and I sure hope I haven't dreamed on forever, but um, I just wanted to pop on today and just have a little chat about some of those very, very tender moments and thoughts about really leaning so closely into my relationship with God and and really getting to know him so well that I know how he feels when he hugs me and I know that smell, like when I get that close to him. Um it's so beautiful. It's so, so beautiful. So, for anyone of y'all out there, I hope your grandmama gives you a little peck on the cheek today. Uh, if you're like me, um just because you have a great memory of someone who may not be walking the earth today, but that that would be a touch of who God can be in your life. And if you're on a journey like me of healing, um, no matter where you are, if you're just getting started, uh, if you're in the mix of it and you're exhausted because you're having to hash out a lot of old junk and you're having to kind of clean out your your tank, if you will, get all that garbage that's been in there and maybe festering and hurting you and making you bitter and upset and angry. Or maybe if you're if you're further along than that, like you've you've gone through that process and and you're continuing to to heal, but but now those wounds are turning into more like a scar, um, which scars stay with us, right? We that scar tissue will be with us, but it's not painful like it was. It doesn't hurt like it did. Um, it then turns into a badge, it turns into um a reminder of the hard things that we've been able to endure, um the difficult times that we've been able to overcome, uh, the fact that we are stronger and wiser and uh hopefully more fearless. We're able to live life in a beautiful way. Wherever you are on that journey, y'all. I'm so thankful and appreciative for for you joining me here. And um I just I can't wait for next week. I've got a whole nother slew of fun verses that we're gonna chat through and just talk more about this whole like healing journey and just living life, like living life joyfully and excitedly. Um, and where that comes from for me is is definitely my faith in God. So thank you so much for stopping by. Remember, there is always a seat for you here at this Edwards table, no matter where you are, y'all. Grab you something salty and sweet, grab you something cold to drink, and always grab a chair because you have a place with me here. See you next time.