The Power of Replacement

In week three of the Surviving to Thriving series, Amy explores what comes next after letting go of the people, habits, mindsets, and experiences that have kept us tethered to our past.

Removing unhealthy things from our lives creates space—but if we don't intentionally fill that space, it's easy to drift back to old patterns. In this episode, Amy shares practical ways to replace what was removed with things that bring life, growth, and purpose.

Together, we'll discuss:
• Developing healthy habits that support your future instead of your past
• Filling your mind with truth, wisdom, and hope
• Creating environments that help you thrive
• Taking intentional steps toward the life you're building

Thriving isn't just about what you leave behind—it's about what you choose to embrace moving forward. Pull up a chair and join Amy as she shares how to make room for the things that will help you grow into the person you're becoming.

There's always a seat for you here.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, I'm Amy Edwards and welcome to the Edwards Table. This podcast is all about real conversations, the kind that come from life, love, family, friendship, and all the messy, beautiful parts in between. I started this show because I believe in redemption stories and in sitting down together to talk about the things that shape us, heal us, and sometimes just make us laugh. So grab a seat, take a breath, and join me. Because there's always room for you here at the Edwards Table. Well, hey y'all, welcome back. I am so excited to have you. My name is Amy Edwards and I am your host here at the Edwards Table podcast. If you are new here, welcome. Golly, so happy to have you. So season one, I tell my story to my daughter. Um, and then the second season, which we are actually winding down, uh, has been just kind of a lot of information, story sharing, me telling you kind of how I've been on this healing journey. So if you're not familiar with my story, definitely would encourage you to go and listen to season one. I think you will absolutely know a little bit more about me if you get done with that. Uh but in the interim, you have jumped into a great series. For anyone who's been with me, welcome back. You know I love you, and I'm so thankful for you being here. In this month of June, we've been talking about surviving versus thriving. So, like, how do we go from just surviving in our lives to actually moving into a season of thriving? And I think that's a very important piece of healing. I think that if you have been a victim of abuse, if you have been someone who has struggled with addiction, um, you know, had any kind of difficult situation in your life, survival mode is very common for us to get stuck in. Uh, it it becomes a place of comfort because it's what we know. Um, it also is proven to us that it's beneficial. And so I think it's very easy for us to stay in survival mode. But we're not intended to stay there. I think if you listen to anyone who's out there talking that's medically um trained, they will tell you. You know, it raises the levels of all the things in your body that you really don't want staying at a high level. And it does things with how you, you know, even how you digest food and how you utilize the nutrients from your food and um how you sleep and how you feel and how your skin reacts and how your heart reacts. I mean, y'all, it just it touches everything, and so we're not we're not meant to be there. So, like, I'm so glad that you're here for this. It's a four-part series. This is actually part three. Um, but first week we talked about, so I'm let me back up. I'm on this healing journey, and I've been sharing a lot about that this season. And so just talking about how to move from surviving to thriving on this healing journey, okay? But I think it's applicable really wherever you are in life. Um, and so in terms of that, we talked about week one, unloading our past. So, whatever is keeping us stuck in the past, people and things, we gotta let go of them. Uh, for people, it can be that we cut them off from our life because there is no path forward at all, i.e., an abuser. Okay, that is a okay, we're gonna move away from you and no, you're not welcome back in my life. Um, there are multiple schools of thought about whether or not to let them back in. I am not a trained professional, I am only a master survivor of abuse, and I know what has worked for me, and that's all I'm gonna say about that. I'm not gonna tell you what to do with your own life, but I will tell you professional counseling is an excellent place to start, and uh I wouldn't be here sharing my story with you had I not done it for 11 years. So uh the second thing that I talked about, so last week, so we week one, unless are passed. Week two, how to reintroduce people, like how do you bring people into your life now that you've cleaned out all of the stuff that's got you stuck or had you stuck? How do you welcome new people into your life? So this week I wanted to talk about, okay, we've also offloaded things out of our life, right? So for instance, if addiction is something we struggle with, clearly you're not gonna have, if your struggle is with alcohol, you're not gonna have a full bar in your home. Clearly, that's that doesn't even make sense. If you struggle with overeating, you're not going to have a ton of junk food in your home. Um, you know, and and I mean the list can go on and on, but you you get what I'm saying. So this week I want to talk about, okay, now that we've we've we've identified and we've removed the things in our life that should not be there because they keep us anchored and in and tethered to our past and keep us surviving instead of thriving. How then do we take now this open space where things used to live and and how do we replace them? I think we can definitely agree that this can be a little bit tricky. Just like introducing people into our lives, we have to be careful, we have to be mindful. Um because just like I said with people, things are the same way. So if we are bringing things into our life that are very similar to what we struggle with, um, so here's a for instance, let's say food is your struggle. Okay, I have struggled with food off and on in my life before, too. And um I get rid of the unhealthy food in my home. So, like got rid of chips and uh ice cream, candy, and whatever else. But then I go to the store and because it has the label of healthy, I'm putting air quotes up, uh, then I buy healthy chips, sugar-free candy, healthy ice cream, and I have all of that back in my house again. Am I truly moving into a season where I'm going to be thriving? No, because food is still a part of my problem. Okay. So how do I replace what I had with something that is going to help me grow and help me move into that thriving space, right? Well, I will continue with the theme of food because I think it's a great one and I love to eat. Um, so for me personally, taking junk food out of my house regularly, like not buying things like that and keeping it stocked in my pantry or in my refrigerator was my start. Like I personally can tell you, when it comes to certain types of foods, I don't have self-control because I love them and I'm gonna eat all the things all the days. Um sometimes I'll make good decisions, but most of the time not. And so we just go with the, we already know most of the time I don't, so therefore we're just not even gonna try it. Okay. Um, and so that was over a course of some time for me to figure that out and then pare down what I did have in my home and then confirm I'm not gonna do that anymore. Like I just I can't do it anymore. But then the flip to it is it's like, okay, so I've got healthy options that feed us breakfast, lunch, and dinner, snacks, whatever. But there's still like this time, let's say late at night where I I like a good snack or whatever else, but I'm not gonna eat anything then. Like I've made the choice that's not healthy for me, and so I'm not gonna do it. Well, how do I replace that so that I'm not just using an old habit and and doing the exact same thing? So for me and John, it actually became going to bed. Um, and it sounds so silly, but it really did. It was like, you know what, instead of having a late night snack, um we would either choose to go to bed or I would make us a hot tea and I would do it unsweetened, nothing in it, but do like a chamomile tea or a peppermint, something that's soothing, herbal, so it's not got caffeine, and I'm like yanked up for the next three hours because I just, you know, drank my favorite, which is Earl Grey. Um, but like replacing old habits and old things with something new. So tea, obviously you're drinking something, but it's there aren't calories, I'm not having to worry about it, you know, spiking my blood sugar before I go to bed, and then you know, my sleep being terrible and having night sweats and all the things. Um, but the actual going to bed, like moving my proximity away from food, because if I go to my bed, I'm not gonna get back up to go eat a snack or something. Um, and probably 90% of the time when I did eat at night, it wasn't because I was hungry, it was because I was bored and I wanted something to do. So I would highly recommend replacing a thing like food when it comes to snacking and stuff like that with a behavior, not another food. Um, now if you're trying to replace, let's say, a junk food that you love with something healthy, obviously, yes, by all means make that um a decision that you make. But like for me, it was more of the habit of eating after dinner at night. And uh it was just unnecessary. It was just a habit that I got into, and it was an unhealthy habit, and so we we changed that and we broke it. Um, another thing I was thinking about was replacing things. So part is thought patterns, okay, and I know I've kind of mentioned a little bit about this because I've talked to you all about someone who I really admire and respect. Um, his name is John Acuff, and he is the author of I think it's 12 books, um, and he's got just some great, very straightforward, simple ways of kind of reshaping our our thought process, our habit process, our way of um reaching our goals and things like that. I would highly recommend, like he's a great, one, he's just he's funny, he's snarky and funny, uh, which I really appreciate. But two, he's an excellent speaker. I've heard him in person, I've read some of his books, love his podcasts, like he's got a lot of practical things, uh, tips and tricks and such, um, and is enjoyable. So about I would highly recommend him, John Acuff. Um, but replacing old thought patterns with new ones. And so I think um his book is called Soundtracks, and that is kind of the same philosophy of, you know, we have these, I always called it records because I'm older, but uh these records and messages like that are playing in our minds for a variety of reasons. Uh maybe a parent that used to say things to us or the bully at school or some, you know, just mean kid or whatever who would say something to us and it stuck, and then we made it that that our truth. Um, and how do we take that record and break it and put a new truth in? So it's very much the same concept, right? We need to replace what was there, the thing that was there, with something new. Thoughts tend to be one of our biggest uh contributors to belief in lies. Our brains do this wild thing where uh we I read it was an article I think that I read a part of and then I heard somebody talk on, but talking about like how our brain will process information and what it will hold on to versus what we're reality really was. And so there are certain details because of our life's experience that we'll hold on to that may or may not be completely factual, uh, but it nonetheless it's something we hold on to. And so our brains are tricky little suckers, we gotta be careful with them. Um God even talks about it in the word, like you know, Paul, love my buddy Paul, back or up in the New Testament, uh, he is a wild dude, y'all. He he has quite the story. Uh look him up, but he repeatedly says, you know, in his works or his writings, excuse me, that um, you know, do not rely, I cannot rely on my own, my own heart or my own mind. Like I it's it will not ever take me down the right path. Like I'm gonna make the wrong choices, absolutely 100% guaranteed. Um, that's just how we are as human. It's it's human nature, it's the fact that we are all sinners, like our minds are a hot mesh, y'all, so we gotta be careful. But I think that's why, you know, a couple weeks back when I was talking about keep moving forward, right? Like moving from stuck to moving ahead, that's the a mantra of ours is to keep moving forward. It's just perpetually moving in the right direction. That is our goal. Um, and so it's very simple. Am I moving closer to my goal or further away from my goal? If I'm closer, then I want to stay with that activity or that action. If I'm further away, then I need to stop doing that and I need to rework how I'm gonna do whatever it is I need to do in order to get closer to my goal. So thinking about all of those things and thinking about like replacing things in our lives, um I think can be an overwhelming process. Um, I think one of our biggest uh deceivers is social media and um the access we have to information is ridiculously crazy. And so with all of that, we have to be ever so careful with how much we're consuming. And I say this because this is something I struggle with tremendously. Um, consumption for me in terms of social media and um like videos and things of that nature is something that I can get lost in, and I do get lost in constantly. I have to be so careful, and it's very difficult for me. You know, I can already hear some of y'all say, you know, I will delete this and don't do that. Yeah, I get it, I get it. Trust me, I do. I highly recommend that for most. However, I am in charge of all social media website and everything for both my company that I own with my husband, and for this podcast, two separate entities and uh very different, very different things that we do for both, but um, but I do that for both. And so, like, I need to see what influencers are saying and doing in my industry. I do need to see, you know, some of those things. I do need to respond to comments. And um the unfortunate part is is I don't always do it well because it's really easy to get sucked in and it's very easy to make excuses. And so for me personally, I just wanted to be transparent there. Like that's a that's a in the moment, what I'm struggling with and what I'm working toward. Um, so here are some ways that I am working on not being so easily sucked in, if you will. So, like first and foremost, every morning, um if you're like me, your alarm goes off on your phone, it's right next to your bed. Um, maybe you're a good person and have it out in the kitchen or whatever else, but um mine's next to me in my bed. And so before I get onto social media, um, and even before I will like check my email and check all of our bank accounts and everything for our businesses, um I make it a point to read my Bible. That's the the I I I work really hard to make that daily my habit of no matter what, before I do anything else, I'm going to read my Bible. Um I find when I do that, my days typically start off a lot stronger. Um it's easier for me to then walk away from my phone. Uh, but when I don't do it, I find myself getting sucked into social media and I'll stay there, you know, for lots of minutes or a couple of hours. I mean, easily. It's so easy to do. And so starting my day off in my word, in the Bible, very important. The other thing that is helpful for me is to have a list. And so I live on sticky notes, I love a good post-it. Brand for me doesn't matter, but I call them a post-it because I'm old like that. Um, but I love a good list because I can make a list of what I need to accomplish for my day. Um, and I usually have a list for the week of what I'm trying to get knocked off the list for the whole week, but then break it down each day so I have tasks that I can accomplish. That's super helpful to keep me on track. Um another thing that I do is turn on music. When I do that, one, I use my phone to do it. So it's kind of like, okay, I'm not gonna do anything else. Now, mind you, I could if I wanted to, but I sync my phone up to a speaker. And because I've done that, then I can only have one thing playing. So if I'm playing music, I can't be on my phone looking at social media because then the social media is gonna play on the speaker and the music won't be there. Simple, but it works. Um, and then the other thing that I do is uh I try to stay moving around my house. So even when I'm doing creative content, like I'm trying to create content for our business or the podcast, uh, I'll stand up and move around. I get a whole lot more done creatively, it helps my mind. But then two, I am also someone, I am not a purse carrier, I'm not a phone carrier, um, unless I have to, because I can't stand having stuff in my hands or hanging on me. I just like to be able to freely move about, right? And so uh if I am up and moving around, I'm not I'm not apt to carrying a phone. I mean, even when I go out walking in the neighborhood, I don't carry a phone with me unless I'm by myself, and that's for safety, like uh in case I were to peripherally never have to call anyone, but like if I got hurt or or whatnot. And the way people drive in my neighborhood, I'm not gonna lie, I could get hit. Sadly, it it wouldn't be shocking. Um I digress, but so those are just some like practical things that I'm using right now for me personally. Hey, but if you're listening and you've got some good tips and tricks, please share those in the comments, like on your listening app or jump over to social media and throw those up there for me because I'm all about sharing all the goodness. Like, and if you've got something that you think would work even better, I would love to hear it. Because I do think in the day and the age that we work in uh and live in, rather, well, work too, but where we are as a society, we are just consumers of constant information, albeit true or not, it's information nonetheless, via social media and all of the apps that we're on, um, on our phones, on our computer screens, on our televisions. And so any way that I can unplug from that and not get sucked into the constant flicking, as I call it, uh the doom scrolling, I'm down for. So, y'all share some ideas with a girl. I'm I'm down for all of that. But back to, you know, what I was talking about is the replacement of things in our lives that we've removed, when we have a gaping hole, we have to have meaningful content to put back in, right? Um, because if we go, and I know I've said this before, but if we go back to what's comfortable, almost 100% guaranteed that we are going back to old ways, and we don't want that, right? It it's just it's not beneficial because we're not growing, we're not moving forward, and we're not thriving. And I know that if you listened two weeks ago and I kind of went through that, you know, surviving versus thriving list that I made, you probably could make an even longer one with better words. But like I long for those days of of excuse me, of thriving uh to be every day. I love the idea of always thriving. Now that's not reality, right? Because I mean, goodness gracious, we're not perfect and we do fall back into our old ways sometimes, or we have a new thing that pops up, or whatever. I mean, we're a mess, y'all. I know it. But I would much rather have a longstanding run of thriving days where I do feel confident and comfortable and peace-filled and joy-filled and just bubbling out. I love that. I love that feeling. I want that feeling for everyone. I want everybody to have that experience. Um, and so I'm so glad that you have come and stopped by for just a quick little chat today about replacing old things in our life that we've gotten rid of with new things. Um, and whatever that looks like in your life, shared a few of mine. Um, definitely have others I'm sure I could run down. But those for me, old food habits and definitely with so all the social media garbage that I just joyfully eat. It's like I'm I'm the junk food consumer. I love some junk food, albeit whether it's with my eyes and my ears or with my mouth and my tummy. Uh so yeah, full transparency there. Uh, but in the meantime, definitely come back next week for the last episode of this four-week series. Um, because next week I'm gonna talk more about this. What happens like once we get into this mode of thriving, right? And the things start to creep back in. Sometimes old habits die hard. Um, and because we're human beings, it's not uncommon. So come back with me and let's have a chat about that because I think I've got some really good practical ways that are helpful. I know I shared a few today, but I've got some other ways that we can talk through as well. Uh, maybe some things that um maybe you hadn't even thought about. But in the meantime, I hope you have an amazing rest of your day or start to your day. Um, and always remember that there is a seat for you here at this table, whether you are surviving or thriving. I love having you here, y'all. Take care and we'll see you next time.