Stay the Course: How to Course Correct Without Starting Over

After weeks of unloading the past, building healthy relationships, and intentionally filling the empty spaces in our lives with things that help us grow, there comes a moment when we realize we've drifted off course. The good news? You don't have to start over.

In this final episode of the Moving from Surviving to Thriving series, Amy shares practical lessons she's learned about recognizing when she's headed in the wrong direction and making the adjustments needed to keep moving forward.

Drawing from her own experiences, Amy explores six key principles for course correction:

• Acknowledge where you are honestly
• Embrace accountability and invite others into the process
• Recognize old thought patterns before they take hold
• Do what works, even when it isn't exciting or new
• Extend grace to yourself along the journey
• Make adjustments as needed without giving up

Thriving isn't about getting everything right. It's about learning how to respond when life pulls you off track. If you've ever felt discouraged by a setback or wondered if you're making progress at all, this episode is a reminder that small corrections can lead to significant change.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, I'm Amy Edwards and welcome to the Edwards Table. This podcast is all about real conversations. The kind that come from life, love, family, friendship, and all the messy, beautiful parts in between. I started this show because I believe in redemption stories and in sitting down together to talk about the things that shape us, heal us, and sometimes just make us laugh. So grab a seat, take a breath, and join me. Because there's always room for you here at the Edwards Table. Hey y'all, and welcome back to the Edwards Table. I'm super excited to have you. My name is Amy Edwards and I am the host here. For those of you who have been on this journey with me, uh we've almost done a year together. I can't believe that. It'll be a year in July, uh, which is coming up in a few weeks. Um, for those of you new, welcome. You are not late to this table, y'all. I'm gonna tell you what, because we've got a season three coming up, so don't you fret. Uh, if you haven't been joining these past few weeks, uh, this whole month of June, so four-week series, been talking about moving from this whole survival mode into thriving mode, love some thriving mode. Um, this for me is a healing journey, and I would love to say that healing is an event, but it is a process. And so um just kind of season one, you know, sharing my whole story, season two, I've just kind of been talking about all the different pieces of what this healing has looked like for me. And so kind of winding down this season and talking about, you know, once you have made the progress of, you know, working on healing, and much like grief, there's not a timeline. It takes time, and um not always do we get the answers we want, and not always do we get the results that we want uh when we're healing. Uh, but the beautiful thing is there is light at the end of the tunnel, and uh there is definitely um a path forward, a path forward, albeit with some scars and battle wounds, um, but those become our stories that we get to share. And so I'm super thankful that I'm in that place of my life where I I get to I get to look back and I get to be retrospective instead of in the mix. Um, but what I wanted to talk with y'all about to kind of wrap up this season or this series, excuse me, is how we move from surviving to thriving. Okay, so the past three weeks, week one, we talked about unloading the past. So people and things that keep us stuck in our past and don't allow us to move from just the survival mode into actual thrive. The second week talked about, okay, now that you've removed those things and those people, how in the world do you bring new people in? What does that look like? Last week we talked about things. So again, we need people in our life, we need community, we need folks that are wiser than us, that have more experience than us, uh, that can cheer us on, but then also can speak into us. Well, we need healthy things in our life too. Um, so it could be hobbies and whatnot. And last week I shared some of my personal experiences. So definitely go back and take a listen to those. This week, what I want to talk about is okay, what do we do when I mean old habits die hard, right? And you can't expect, I mean, we're human beings, so we we might slip back into old ways. What do we do when maybe some not necessarily the old things of our past, albeit it could be, but maybe we've allowed a person or a thing into our life that is maybe starting to tie us back to that past again. So how do we deal with that, right? So we're gonna talk about that course correction because it's always important to have, I don't know if you've been bowling, but you know how at bowling alleys and the lanes, um, they have the the gutters on either side. So the ball, you know, will go in it if you don't stay in the in your lane. Um, but if you are not a good bowler or you're bowling with children, you can have them put the bumper guards up uh so that your ball can't go in the alley and get a gutter ball. So we want some good bumper guards to know, like as we're moving forward and we're in this thriving season where we're feeling good in our own skin and we're joy-filled and we're peaceful, and all these great things are going on in our life because not because our life is perfect, but because we have a spirit about us where we know, hey, I'm I'm loving where I am and I'm loving who I am. Uh still things can creep in. So, how do we course correct? How do we put up some good bumpers and course correct? Well, I jotted down ideas, and so I'm gonna be kind of looking back and forth. If you're watching me on YouTube, apologies for not giving you my full eye contact. Also, I'm an eye wanderer. If you ever talk to me in person, I'm looking everywhere. Um, and no, I don't have ADD, I just uh tend to think better when I'm moving, and so if I'm sitting still, my eyes are going somewhere. Um, so all this to say, I've got a list, and my list is six things long. And so let me start with number one. Um, first and foremost, when we start figuring out maybe something is taking us to tie us back to our past again and get us stuck again. First and foremost, we have to acknowledge it. Acknowledge that it is there. Whatever it is, acknowledge, acknowledge, acknowledge, right? So, like, ugh, I am getting back into it. And y'all, full transparency, I'm a very fluffy human right now. Um, partly because of where I am in my life. So I'm turning the corner to 52. And if you're a woman, you know, um, perimenopause is a whole journey in and of itself. But um, but also, y'all, if I'm fully honest, like some of my old habits when it comes to being a healthy human, I'm really not practicing the healthy habits. And I'm sliding back into some old habits that are not healthy and I know better. Like I know, I know, don't come at me, especially if you got periods, if you're not you got it, it's not a disease, but if you're in that stage of life with me, like don't at me in this. Um, I know that part of it is my body. Like my body is being just a complete stinker butt and not making it easy to stay healthy in terms of weight gain, you know, and muscle loss and whatever else. And with that, I know it and I know that there are ways I can correct that to make it better. Maybe not perfect. I mean, I'm not gonna be 123 pounds ever again, but I definitely can be in a healthier like weight and body shape and things like that than where I am. I know this. Um, and in fact, that's kind of something that I'm dealing with now. So I'm gonna kind of talk through that. Like, what does that look like for me? So, first and foremost, acknowledge it. Girl, say what it is, sir. You better talk about it. What is the thing? And when I acknowledge, I need to confess it to someone. And why I do that is accountability. So telling another person, very important for me too. Um, so that was my number two. So acknowledge it. What is it? Number two, share it. You need to share it with somebody to hold you accountable, right? Uh, not fun. That's like having to go to one of your parents. Like if you respect your parents, right? And you have to go to them and like tell them that you did something that will disappoint them. Ugh, worst feeling ever. Like ever. I could say that to my kids. Um, didn't really have to spank my children ever, uh, because disappointing me for them was the worst. Like they would rather all but lie to me than to do something wrong and or let me down. So, yeah, the accountability. Okay, so one, acknowledge. Two, accountability, share it with somebody, y'all. Tell them, hey, I'm falling off the wagon, y'all. You gotta help me. Um, my third one I said was don't fall into old thought patterns. So if you've listened to anything that I have ever said, you will know for a fact that I struggle constantly in my life with old records in my head playing. And it takes a lot of work to get those broken and replaced. Um, and even when we replace them, there are times I think that things will still seep in. So, like the voice of shame, the voice of blame, the voice of disappointment, whatever it is that will still come in and start chatting in our ear and in our minds. We have to be very cognizant of that, not to allow that to start overtaking our thoughts. Okay. The fourth thing is is to stick with what is working. Okay, I can't say this loud enough for the people in the back. Stick with what is working. And you know what? After being on this planet over 51 years, I can tell you this. What worked in my 20s as far as my health and things like that, it is not the same as what works in my 50s. Okay. In my 20s, I could not eat bread on my sandwich for a day. Actually, not even that, because I didn't even know that. I wouldn't eat chips with my sandwich. How about that? And uh drink an extra glass of water so that I got my full eight in, and miraculously I dropped five pounds. You know, your body is hilarious in your 20s. Um, in my 50s, I can eat healthy for days and days and days, make no poor health choices when it comes to the food I put into my body, and I can gain eight pounds over the course of that time. So it's not the same. Okay, I'm just saying. Um, so what I know works for me in my 50s, that is what I have to stick to. So for me, I found that when I was doing intermittent fasting, that worked for me. So that's what I need to stick to. Girl, do what works. Um, okay, so we've acknowledged, we have um confessed it to someone, we shared it with someone. Uh, we have not fallen into old thought patterns, right? Of shame and disgust and things like that. And then uh fourth is sticking to what is working, what we know works. That is silly not to, why wouldn't we? Right? And then the fifth one is grace. There is not enough grace in your whole being to be grace-filled for yourself. Um, I was watching something the other day, and this girl said to her friend, um, she was like, Don't talk to my friend so-and-so like that. And I was like, Oh my gosh, why don't I say that to myself? Don't talk to my friend Amy like that. Why don't I treat myself like my own friends, like I treat my friends, right? Ding dong, hello, Amy. But seriously, grace, we have to give ourselves grace. We are not going to be perfect. No matter how goal-oriented you are, and no matter how excellent you are at executing things, you are gonna make mistakes, you're gonna have hard days, you're gonna have days where you want to quit, maybe you do for a short stint, and you have to pick yourself back up and try again. Grace is what gets us to the next step. Grace is what forgives us in those hard times, and grace is what we are required to give to everyone, including ourselves, because Jesus died on the cross. So there. If you have to give it to everyone else, you have to give it to yourself. So grace, grace, grace, grace, grace. Another way to course correct, okay? And then finally, if we've tried these things, right, and we're still not getting back on track with where we need to be, there's probably an opportunity to make some adjustments. I will tell you this. Until I started into really getting into perimenopause the past couple of years, prior to that, I was an exceptionally driven human being. And when I say driven, I mean stay up through the night, work all day the next day, not take a break, sick or not, show up, bring my throat lozenges and hot tea with honey, and like continually push until I got whatever it was I needed done done. As I have moved into my 50s, I know for a fact, one, that is asinine. That doesn't even make logical sense to do that to yourself because then I'm down three days sick because I have run myself so ragged. And the quality of what I turned out, albeit good quality, was not excellent quality. And that's my standard. Like I don't want perfection, I want excellence. And so learning to lay that down, I have had to adjust that um in these past few years because I don't function the way that I used to in my mind. Um, I have learned a lot over these past many years, and it is not the end-all be-all of me if I have to ask permission for a little more time or a little bit of grace because maybe what I'm working on is just not turning out to the standard that I wanted out there. And so I think these six things for me have been exceptionally valuable, but only more recently have I really learned to accept them. It's not that I don't know them. Again, I never tell y'all anything that's like this earth shaking. Oh my god, I've never heard that ever. Please. Yes, you have. Are you kidding me? I mean, go read anyone else's stuff. And I assure you, they are more probably well-versed, well-spoken, all the things, whatever, whatever. But what I can say is this I know what I share with you works because I've lived it and I've done it and I've tried it and I've failed at it and I've tried again. And so let me run down this list one more time. In order to course correct, when the past starts to creep in, right? Absolutely have to acknowledge whatever it is. Absolutely have to have somebody holding us accountable. So go confess it, tell somebody, y'all. Absolutely do not fall back into old habits of what we allow our brains or our minds to tell us. Like old, old tape recordings in our brains of like shame or disgust or um blame, self-loathing, like any of that, shut it down. That is counterintuitive, not taking us where we need to go. Next is stick to what's working, whether it used to work in the past or not, but it works now, use it, use it. Look at what is working and lean into that. Grace, next, grace, grace, grace, grace, grace. As much grace as you would give to anyone, you need to give to yourself because that is what we're called to do. And then finally, is adjust. If all these other things fail, still not getting you where you need to go and whatever else, make adjustments. Make adjustments so that you don't get stuck again. And let me just say, when you are trying to course correct, when things start to seep in and you can tell like your wheels were really nice and humming along, and then all of a sudden, ugh, something is making them bump a little bit, and and then the bump starts to get really pronounced before it takes you completely off track. Stop for a second, figure out what is going on. Take time for yourself to actually figure out what is going on, why am I starting to say these things about like one of my favorite things to say to myself, which is horrific, is how stupid I am. Like, ma'am, you're not stupid. You're educated, you are a mother and a wife and a woman, and you're 51, almost 52 years old, so you've got a lot of experience with a lot of different things. Like, wearing that is the word stupid. It's not, right? Um, like those kinds of bells that start buzzing in your head, listen to them and take a minute, take a pause, and really evaluate, okay, well, why is everything starting to shake and feel out of control? Like things are getting ready to just really spin out of control. Um, and I guarantee you, the quicker we are to acknowledge what's going on and take time to pause and evaluate it and then make the changes that we need to, the quicker we are back into the realm of thriving again. The faster we are to not be in that survival mode, right? And I do feel that that line we tow, uh, we ebb and flow back and forth on that line across it, uh, depending on what is going on in our lives and and what comes next. Uh and for some of us, our lives are super cush and super good. And for others of us, our lives feel like taking a breath is literally all the work that we can put in because it is just that hard. And no matter where we are, y'all, I do hope if there's anything you're learning from my story, it is the valuable piece of my faith. Um and it's not valuable in the sense of just value. It is vital in the sense of surviving it and actually thriving in this life. If it were not for my faith, it were if it were not for God and what he does in and through me every single day, I absolutely would not be here. I absolutely would not be able to give you any kind of thought or idea about tips and tricks of things that have worked for me, things that I completely failed at, things that I know are gonna be hard. Like, I wouldn't be able to be here and share with you any of these things if it weren't for my faith. So like it, lump it, or leave it, as far as that's concerned, because there's not much I can tell you outside of my faith. I mean, that truly is what got me here and allowed me to survive so many things. But then from that, God wove in this beautiful redemptive piece of my story to where I can thrive. And it is so amazing. It is so absolutely amazing. Y'all, this has been like I don't want to say favorite. I hate saying favorites because like people are like, Amy, what's your favorite movie? Don't ask me that. I mean, you can ask me, I'll tell you. But like, I don't have a one favorite, okay? But I will have to say, these four weeks with y'all has been one of my favorite parts, I think, of this season. I'm gonna talk more about that in July, but I think it has been because you get to hear me on the flip side. You get to hear me at the light that is at the end of the tunnel. Like I've survived these things, and here are my lessons that I have learned and can use as I continue living. Because I know, you know, as life has it, there are going to be a lot of hard things still while I'm here on this planet. God, God willing, I'm here for a long, long time. Um and so I pray that I take those lessons with me. And um, and I really hope everything that we've talked about this month has been beneficial for you as well, like little bits and pieces. And if I may implore you to please pass this along to people you know. If you've got, you know, friends in your life that you think, gosh, this would really mean something to them if with what they're walking through right now or how hard life is, or gosh, they survived something similar to this. It'd be cool for them to know. Yes, it would. Yes, it would. So please share, share me all the places and all the ways. I am joy-filled to hear when other people um are able to listen to my story and listen to the things that I have learned and actually um know that they're not alone and maybe take some tips and tricks from me. I don't know. But in the meantime, I want to thank you all so much for uh jumping on today. Thank you for being here with me if you've been here for these past few weeks and uh just talking about surviving versus thriving. My prayer for all of you is that you, if you're not already in a season of thriving, that God moves you there, uh, you've learned what you need to learn in order to actually be thriving in your life as well. And you guys, these next few weeks are going to be super duper fun. So make sure you join the whole month of July because July is the month of celebration. We will celebrate having aired 52 episodes, we will celebrate having aired for one full year, um, and we will actually start talking about what to expect for season three. You guys, y'all are gonna definitely want to stick around because I know some folks who have some really cool stories, and my hope is that I can keep inviting new faces and friends in for you to hear. In the meantime, be sure to stick around and we'll see you next time.