Praying to Avoid Pitfalls That Can Lead to Divorce

Even the strongest marriages can be vulnerable to subtle, destructive patterns. In this episode, Stormie exposes common pitfalls—such as poor communication, unforgiveness, and misplaced priorities—that can damage a relationship over time. With wisdom, honesty, and biblical insight, she explains how prayer can protect your marriage and stop problems before they start. You’ll learn how to use the authority God has given you to pray powerfully and intentionally over your spouse and your home. Whether you're in a season of peace or facing deep challenges, this message will help you align your heart with God’s purpose for your marriage and invite His healing power into the areas that feel broken. Discover how the Holy Spirit can lead you to a stronger, more unified relationship through consistent, Spirit-led prayer.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Stormy Omardian Podcast, where we explore the power of prayer to change lives, strengthen faith, and deepen relationships. In this episode, Stormy shares how small habits and spiritual blind spots can quietly damage a marriage if left unaddressed. You'll learn how to recognize those pitfalls early and pray with authority to protect and strengthen your relationship.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Hi, I'm Stormy O'Mardian, and today I'm talking to you from my book called The Power of Prayer to Enrich Your Marriage. This is episode two, pray to avoid pitfalls that can lead to divorce. Now there are habits we can get into that can destroy a marriage. They start out as something seemingly small and turn into a big problem overnight, even in the best of relationships. You may have an idyllic marriage with the most perfect of mates, and you may be close to perfection yourself. But don't buy into the dangerous belief that you are immune to situations that can destroy a marriage. Too many people have thought that and ended in divorce court. Or equally as bad, they have allowed their marriage to be filled with so much strife and unforgiveness that it became miserable, lifeless, dead. They lost sight of the purpose God had for them in being married in the first place. And make no mistake, He does have a great purpose for your marriage, which is always to glorify Him. Today there is an epidemic of despair, hopelessness, and pain because of marriages in crisis. There is no greater torment outside of the death of a loved one than that which is suffered when a marriage relationship has broken down. The sense of failure and guilt, sadness, and heartbreak over a divorce is unbearable, and staying in a miserable marriage is intolerable. Either choice is not good. However, just like the problem can happen to anyone, so can the solution to it. The solutions I have written about in this book are doable and not just for the deeply spiritual and highly disciplined. They are doable for everyone. If I can do them, you can do them. And the reason they are doable is because they are part of God's will and his way for your marriage, and he will help you accomplish them if your heart is willing. The reason they are not easy is because of one thing. The condition of our own heart has to be right. And changing that can often seem impossible. Marital problems develop in someone's heart first, so that is where we have to go to find the root of the problem. And that is where healing begins. In my book, The Power of Prayer to Enrich Your Marriage, I list 18 ways to destroy your marriage, and here are just a few of them. One, stop communicating openly and honestly. Two, be consistently angry, selfish, rude, or abusive. Three, refuse to forgive your spouse for any offense, no matter how small. Four, stay depressed and negative as much as possible. Five, spend money foolishly and continually run up debt. 6. Give place to annoying habits and defend your right to have them. 7. Make something other than God and your spouse your top priority. 8. Threaten to get a divorce every time something comes up between you that needs to be worked out. God has sovereignly declared that He is not going to just fix things for us without any input on our part. He wants to teach us to have great faith in Him and move in the authority He has given us in prayer. But without us praying, He won't do it. And without His help and power, we can't do it. Knowing Jesus and being God's child is where our authority in prayer begins. Praying is putting our authority into action. Whether it's something serious that sneaks silently into your marriage, unnoticed at first, or something small that rises up and wounds you when you least expect it, leaving you wounded and poisoned, God will work his power through you as you exercise your authority in prayer over all that opposes you. God has given us free choice concerning who we will allow to have authority in our lives. Will we respect God's authority or will we bow to the influence of others? Will we choose our will over the will of God? The only way to move into all God has for us is to be totally submitted to His authority in our lives. Then amazing things can happen in our marriage. The same enemy of your soul who wants to see you destroyed also wants to see your marriage destroyed. If you don't realize that, you may end up thinking that your husband is the enemy and your fight is with him. And while it may be true that he's acting like the devil sometimes, he is not the enemy. Jesus won the victory over death and hell. So if you are living in hell in your marriage relationship, you have not yet moved into the victory God has for you. Whenever you find yourself in a tough situation in your marriage, take authority over it with prayer in Jesus' name. That doesn't mean you are trying to control your spouse. It means you are inviting God to be in control of your marriage. When you pray with God-given authority, it releases the power of God to work in both your lives. You can't necessarily change the strong will of your spouse when he or she is in opposition to the will of God, but when you invite God to create an atmosphere in the spirit realm around your marriage, that helps you both to better hear God's truth. Whenever you pray, praise God for the victory he has already won on your behalf. Thank Him that He has a way out of any bad situation, even when it appears hopeless. God never said we won't have problems. Actually, God said we will have problems. We can count on it. And when you are married, you will not only have your problems, you will have your spouse's problems as well. But the good news is Jesus overcame all that for us. When we align ourselves with Him in prayer, He will help us to either rise above our problems or walk through them successfully. He will give you the power to be more than a conqueror. It says that in Romans 8:37. That's because Jesus has already conquered death and hell and has secured the victory over the enemy for us. We have to learn to walk with God in that victory. We do that when we pray. Jesus has enabled you to not only conquer the territory God has for you, but to also experience his miracle of peace in the process. I can tell you how to swim. I can describe the water. I can teach you all the correct moves, but at some point you are going to have to get in the water. And once you get into the stream of God's Spirit leading you as you pray, you're going to find yourself not only staying afloat, but also rising to the top of each wave of a life that might normally overwhelm you. One of God's greatest promises says that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to his purpose. It says that in Romans 8.28. But if you read the verses before that promise, you will see that the Bible is talking about prayer. Can it be that all things work together for good if we are praying? It sounds like that to me. Things are not promised to work out for good automatically. If there have been things in your life that you feel did not work out for good, is it possible that somewhere, sometime, the people who could have been praying for you or your situation actually weren't? You have the power to control your own destiny. You can choose heaven or hell as your eternal home. You can choose to give God control of your life and let Him move you into the purpose for which he created you. You can choose either to give up on your marriage or stay and fight for it in prayer and whatever else God chose you to do. You can choose to enrich your marriage by praying for your spouse and yourself in a way that can prevent bad things from creeping in or to heal those negative things that have already gained ground. God knows we need that. He knows we can't come up with a foolproof plan that will keep our marriages together. We are way too selfish and blind. We are lacking in wisdom and the spirit of self-sacrifice. But the Lord knows the thoughts of man, that they are futile, says that in Psalm 94.11. He wants us to realize that too. He wants us to understand that we can't do it without him. He wants us to believe that he is greater than any hurricane, flood, or tsunami of circumstances and emotions that would threaten to wash us away. God is even greater than you or your spouse's anger or depression or inability to communicate. He is more powerful than the unforgiveness or hardness of heart in either of you. God is stronger than bad debt, bad habits, and weak willpower. He made you to be victorious over all that and more. Let me give you a tip about this that will save you a lot of time and effort. One of the questions I have been asked countless times is what if I'm the only one praying in my marriage? While it is the best situation, if a husband and wife pray together, I want to assure you that your prayers for your marriage have power. Even when you are the only one praying, and that's because the two of you are one in the eyes of God, and your prayers have power. Of course, the power is even greater when the two of you pray together, but I don't want to belabor that point. If you have a husband or wife who will pray with you, consider yourself blessed. Many people don't have that, but don't lose heart. God hears your prayers according to his will, and he will answer in surprising ways. What if you are the only person in the marriage who is a believer? Or you are the only one living God's way? Or you are the only one willing to submit to God's perfecting process? Are you the only one really willing to work on the relationship? What if you understand the enemy's attack on your marriage and your spouse doesn't get it? Can your prayers alone save the marriage? Yes, they can. That scenario is much more common than you might think. In fact, I have heard of great miracles in that regard. Of course, it would be best to pray about possible problems before any of them ever developed into something bad, or better yet, would be to pray about them before you walk down the aisle. However, even though it would be wonderful to have all these things resolved before you get married, I believe it may be impossible. That's because you and your spouse have never before lived together as man and wife. No man or woman truly understands their own limits and capabilities before they have made that public declaration and have entered into this legally binding lifetime commitment. When you do that, you are forced to deal with things in yourself and in your spouse as they affect your lives together. Everyone has good days and bad days, weaknesses and strengths, times of patience and times of not so much. Everyone has moments when they let words slip out of their mouth that shouldn't have been spoken. And also times when they should have said or done something differently and didn't. But marriage provides an opportunity to give one another the security you need to come face to face with who you really are and be set free to heal and grow. That's why praying in advance of these things happening doesn't mean that difficult things won't ever happen, but if something does, you will be able to survive these times successfully, knowing God is using them to perfect both of you. All that being said, if you have a husband who is abusive to you physically, verbally, or mentally, or if he is making you afraid of what he might do to you or your children, make plans to get out immediately. Take your children with you. Don't announce it, just do it. There are homes for abused women, and there are people there to help you quietly make the move. They will welcome you and your children. And I understand some take pets as well. No husband has the right to abuse you or your children in any way, ever. It is not God's will for a daughter of his to endure that. Don't hesitate to do what you need to do. You can pray from afar if you need to. The thing you have to remember is that God has more for you than you can imagine. I know this is hard to comprehend because we can imagine some pretty amazing things. We can dream big. But even considering your greatest dream for yourself, what God has for you is far greater. The Bible says, I has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love him. That's from 1 Corinthians 2 9. I believe that is true as a married couple too. You may have trouble imagining your marriage being better than your greatest dream for it, but it can be. The reason I know this is true is because it is God's will for your life. It's what He wants for you. Are you ready to pray for the purpose of preventing common problems in your marriage? Are you ready to do what it takes to pray consistently for a needed change? Are you ready to protect your marriage relationship so it will last a lifetime? Would you pray with me about this? Lord, help me and my spouse to know you better, to understand your ways, to see things from your perspective. Show us how to view each other the way you see us, Lord. Make changes in each of us so that nothing will hinder us from fulfilling the purpose you have in each of our lives and for us together as a married couple. Enable us both to hear you speaking to our hearts. Help us to avoid all pitfalls that can lead to divorce. Show me what to do to help make things better. In Jesus' name I pray. You know, I've seen God do miracles in my own marriage and in the lives of countless married couples whom I have prayed with and heard from over the years. I'm not saying our marriage is perfect, but it's a lot better than I thought it could ever be. And I know it's because of the power of God. Working through our prayers, it was hard work, but it was well worth it. And it will be for you too.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Thanks for joining us. Next week, you'll discover why communication is the lifeline of marriage, and how silence, harsh words, or dishonesty can destroy intimacy. Stormy will explain how prayer can transform the way you and your spouse speak, listen, and connect with each other.