33. The Moment I Knew It Wasn't Right (And Stayed Anyway)

Honest conversations about relationships, self awareness, and emotional growth.

This week on I Hear You, Babe, listeners share the quiet moments they realized a relationship wasn’t right — not the breakup, not the explosion, but the knowing that came before.

From feeling lonely while sitting next to someone, to realizing you’d stopped sharing parts of yourself, to recognizing your body felt relief when plans were canceled, these stories capture the subtle signs we try to ignore when we want something to work.

Dino reflects on why knowing and leaving are two different things, why we stay longer than we should, and how learning to tell yourself the truth is sometimes the first step toward something better.

If you’ve ever felt something shift before you were ready to admit it, this episode will probably hit close to home.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, everyone, and welcome to I Hear You Babe. My name is Dino Malvone. I'm your host. We've got a great episode for you today. It's a bunch of emails that you guys sent into IHear You Babepod at gmail.com. And a bunch of things we chat chat with me girls about. And that's a sad but true representation of like what I sound like when I'm talking to my cats. In fact, if you check out my Instagram story, is probably from now until eternity, hopefully. You're gonna hear me chit-chatting with my kitty cats, and I say, give me kisses, and when they give you kisses, and sometimes I want to give you a hug, and I like to squeeze you a little bit, but I can't even help because you're just a baby. And uh, and thank you for being here. I truly, you know, pull up a chair, get cozy, because before we get to the emails today, girls, we're gonna talk a little bit about my life here in New York City. And honestly, like I sometimes I think my life is like a full, it's like there's like three full-on different movies happening all at once. So the first one is like New York City is finally like starting to thaw out a little bit. The hatefulness of the weather temperature these last like week or like 10 days has been legit insanity. And yeah, the the the problem is it was negative like 17 degrees. So I'm not sure if you guys know. I don't know if you know anything about that, depending on where you're listening to this podcast. That's great for you. And I'm really happy to hear that. That's that's awesome. But here in New York City, the wind chill took it from like literally, I think it was like, you know, the the low is gonna be four, but the real feel is like negative 17. And uh, and that's usually by way of a wind, wind that whips by and will just freeze your freaking nuts off. So anyway, it's starting to thaw. I think this week it's gonna be like 48 degrees at some point. But if you guys, I mean, like the disgusting snow that's been on the sidewalk for three weeks is like finally, I think, gonna start melting. I think it's melting, it's not as big as it was before, but but then but then the the best part is the reveal afterwards, which is like all the shit and trash that we pretend like wasn't there. Like it's like the season, like pull back the curtain and you know, be like, surprise, babe, this is what you've been walking on. You thought it was snow, and that's cute. Nope, it was like honestly, the amount of dog piss that you see on snowbanks in New York City is bar none, the wildest amount of piss I've ever seen. It's it's a lot, and then you know, beyond emotional survival of the tundra and the spiritual survival of the fittest. I don't know, I guess we made it. I actually saw somebody outside today, like without gloves, that was drinking like a frozen drink from Duncan. And I almost cried because in my mind I was like, what is actually even happening? And then I saw her like switch hands, like she was doing that little dance where you like switch hands to like put the other hand in the pocket and then you warm it up for a little bit, then you can like switch hands, and then like you pull the sleeve down over it the second time because your hands can't handle it. Do you know what I mean? Like, oh my god, skin humanity. But anyway, it feels like life is just weird. Meanwhile, you guys, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Meanwhile, you guys, a brand new MFing crime boss has moved into the Bridges Malvone family home. Because we got a main coon. And listen, before you already start, the main coon came from the Ukraine. And I get it. Someone's gonna have an opinion about it, and I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna stop you right there and I'm gonna remind you that I didn't ask for it. How about that? I I've rescued every cat I've ever owned. And this is a cat that I wanted because I wanted to rescue him from a war-torn. No, that's not even it. I just wanted I this cat was a Darius found him, and he just is an absolute gem. But anyway, so okay, here's how it went down. We had to go to JFK to go pick him up, and we had to go to the cargo arrival, which by the way, is not like a normal that thank God we didn't well. I don't actually know. We didn't have a car, so I we took a Uber because that's how it works here, and it was like 50 bucks to get there, which is like actually kind of inexpensive given whatever. But from my house to JFK, it's not that it's not cheap. But so we go there and it's basically like Darius and I with a cat carrier bundled up because it's freezing cold. Like it was like one of those days where it was like, I think the wind chill that night was like negative 10 or 12 or some shit. And but so we get there, it's like me and him and a bunch of like I don't even know, like trucks, 18-wheelers. And so anyway, we go to the JFK cargo, which like I guess kind of already still feels like illegal to say out loud, and we get there, we have to wait a little bit, you know, customs is whatever, and then we're standing outside, and this couple walks up to us and says, Are you here for a cat? Now listen, did I did I do justice to their accent? No. Are you here for a cat? Is kind of basically like what it sounded like. But then I was like, we were like, mm-hmm. And then they like took off, and the girl actually started like jogging. So Darius and I were like, we're obviously gonna go to jail tonight. So like, should I have said that? Should I not have said that? Did I do something right? I don't know. Like, oh my god, what the fuck just even happened? And then lo and behold, they brought over a carrier with a blanket over it, and we picked up this tiny, like little silent and mysterious kitten who traveled all the way here from the Ukraine with a passport. Like he has like diplomatic, what do they call that? Diplomatic immunity. We saved him. And I'd like to say that out loud one more time for the haters in the back, bro. And yes, his name is Vito Corleon. Because he is the godfather. His face is so dark, like his features are so like black, the color black. Like all you can see when you look at his face, even in broad daylight, honestly, is that he's got golden eyes. But beyond that, like you really can't see anything. And then he's got like a big tuft of hair around his collar, like around his neck. He looks like he's wearing like a I don't even know. And he's got like a couple little sprigs of white hair that are coming out of his ears. Like he literally looks like he came from the woods, but he's this tiny little nugget of a gosh darn sweetheart. And he and Rocco took them less than 24 hours to like sit on the same cushion together. And he has like a tiny little meow, a very mean mug. It's like he's calculating your death, but not because all he wants is a bunch of window cases and some hugs and let me not, but you can tell he's like with that side eye, he's like making some quiet decisions about like what your future is gonna look like. It's really like just seeing like these two glowing eyes floating in the fur, and underneath all that fur, he's like just a do-weedle baby. He's a deweed weedle baby, and his dad is apparently 27 pounds. So I hope I I mean I'm I'm assuming that most of this is just temporary, but right now he is baby, and he's going to be baby for a long, long time. But listen, who knows? When he starts to take up more space, we might be starting to charge more rent. No, but he's getting like, you know, he's getting his thawed out raw meat diet. He's acclimating to a new kitten that's with him. Yeah, he's doing pretty good. And but yeah, man, he keeps us up at night. You know, and again, not to revisit this, but if anybody has any opinions about him coming from the Ukraine, please do me a favor and write them in your diary. And then close the diary and and and and then you that little lock and put it under your bed, because I don't care. The man is home, he's safe, he runs the house now, and his name is Vito Corleon, and that's all I ever want to hear about ever again. How about that? And while this all is happening, my TikTok algorithm has decided well, not just TikTok, my not, it's both my TikTok and my Instagram algorithm decided to like keep me deeply involved in the genesis of the Illuminati and basically any Illuminati conspiracy. Girl, what is happening? My I can't even stop it. In fact, there was like a post I came across that was like just like a meandering like stream in the woods, and it was like, watch this three or four times to like reset your algorithm. And I'm I'm pretty much ready to do that because literally, so like I don't know what I watched, I don't know like what I clicked. Honestly, I but suddenly it's the entire feat. It's like here's how Beyonce is reptilian and she controls global banking. You know, and he I'm like in the shower, like trying to meditate. Like, am I Molly? Am I in danger, girl? So, you know, now it's all about the genesis of like secret societies and like everything's a secret tunnel. Everybody is throwing up symbols like the Illuminati, or like they're they're flashing their tongues like they're like the reptilians, and then and uh and like celebrities are like blinking twice during interviews, or uh you know, like and the problem is like at midnight you're starting to be like, am I have I wait, am I a conspiracy theorist now? Like, am I am I going rogue? What and Daris is like, please go to sleep, but not really, like, you know, in in that so I think both of us are like trying to be cautious and you know, like keeping our eyes open, but you're like, wait, did God did Tom Hanks really do that with his fingers? Like it, you know? What I don't know. Okay, and then okay, this is the last thing, and then and then I'm gonna get into these emails because I haven't even mentioned what the topic of the of the the God. The topic of this episode is when you realized it was over, and I got some pretty good emails. Not a ton. There was like maybe like five or six emails that came in this week, but I they are just over like glancing at them before reading all of them all the way through. I I'm excited to like dig into them. So but wait, okay, so then we celebrated my friend who finished nine full rounds of chemo and then did for breast cancer and then did the first of the you know maintenance injections. And we were invited to a dinner hosted by one of them was Ashley's like oldest friend from like at least one of the oldest friends from maybe adolescence, junior high or something like that, or high school, and then another friend of hers from work, but like you know, a good at least 10 plus years of knowing one another. And so these two hosted the party, and they invited, I think, a good like 25 people, and which was already incredible enough that there were that big of a group of people that give would give anything to celebrate this person, you know. So anyway, I had a I had a falling out with a group of friends, and this group of friends decided that that fallout was it was like more important for them not to be in the same room with me than it was for them to celebrate my friend who had completed chemo.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

And you know, my old friend group didn't come.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

The whole point was just for us to like celebrate something which was huge and monumental and life-changing, and the whole point was to celebrate her, not you know, just sit down, eat and laugh and just be fucking normal. And again, I like my friend group didn't come, they RSVP'd know that you know they're doing like a sushi dinner with her some other night because they don't want to be in the same room as me. And honestly, I went in prepared for tension. Um but I was the first one that like said, yes, I'm coming, but I was prepared for the awkwardness and like also prepared for the feeling of walking into a room where you don't know where you stand because I it wasn't about me, and but also like none of that ended up happening because the people who showed up there were there for her, and the energy was good and it felt easy and it felt loving and kind. And you know what happened in the beginning was that the consensus was I'm glad it's not happening because you know, we wouldn't want it to be about one thing when it's supposed to be about another, right? And honestly, she that's right, that's the way that it should have been, you know what I mean? Like as there's deserved peace there, you know what I mean? But here's the fucked up part because their absence still got talked about because people still noticed and people still had opinions about it, and so even when people remove themselves to avoid drama, their choice like still creates space in the room. And I realized something really important that night, which was you cannot control the story that people tell about you. Like, some people need you to be the villain because it makes their choices easier, and at a certain point, you have to just go, okay, yeah, if that's the role you need me to play in your life, then go off, queen. You know like I'll be the villain living my best life. Like I'm raising my mob boss fucking cat and I'm going to dinner celebrating friends who be chemo and minding my fucking business. Because life is too short to be negotiating your adulthood around people who want you to stay in high school emotionally. Like, girl, get over it. You guys are so fucking lame, and you know who you are. Anyway, that's where I'm at. The city is thawing. This cat is running the fucking house. The my phone thinks I'm joining the Illuminati, honestly, and I'm trying to stay focused on real things: love, friendship, growth, moving forward, all the things, which actually brings us like perfectly into today's episode because today we're talking about the moment that you knew something wasn't right. It it's it wasn't the breakup, it wasn't like a big explosion, but it was like maybe that like quiet moment at dinner, or like you know, some whatever it was, just knowing that you try to ignore it and it came back to bite you. So, anyway, let's get into these freaking emails. What do you say? Okay, the first one says when I stopped telling him things. Okay. So it says, I knew it wasn't right. Hold on, sorry, my seamless order is I think arriving soon. Just making sure. Oh, it's on its way. Oh, we'd love to see it. So boop-beep do if you guys hear my phone go off. That's what happened. All right, this one says, when I stopped telling him things. Okay, so I knew it wasn't right when I stopped sharing parts of my day with him. Not because he told me to, he never did anything overt, it was more subtle. And when I talked about work, he would like half listen. When I talked about friends, he'd steer it back to himself. And when I was excited, he would nod, but not really meet me there. And you're like, Are you listening? Is this thing on? And then at some point I started editing before I spoke. And I think it this isn't worth bringing up, or he really won't care anyway. We hate that filter. I remember driving home one day after seeing him and realizing I didn't laugh one time. I wasn't upset, I was just feeling flat. Wait, if he can't make you laugh, I don't know what to do. I think that that's like my number one. Like, if you can make me laugh, then I think I can probably do everything else. You know what I mean? And also that kind of levity, I think lends itself to long-term success. I don't know. Call me crazy, but I think laughing is like number one. Anyway, she said, I told myself relationships settle. I think that's where we made a left, a hard left, backwards. That you can't expect someone to be interested in everything about you. Well, that's those are two different things. I told myself relationships settle. That's I don't think that's necessarily true. But you can't expect someone to be interested in everything about you. I think that's fully reasonable. Like, I girl, I don't know. Like sometimes my boyfriend wants to talk to me about you know the fact that toilet paper doesn't have bleach in it. And I'm all about it, right? But you know, we not interested in the same things always to the same degree. How about that? That seems pretty fair. But looking back, she says that was the moment when I decided being understood was optional. Okay, this email kind of like sneaks up on you a little bit because our technically nothing's really wrong. Nobody cheated. Like nobody's like screaming for uh help because they feel like they were I I don't know. It wasn't it basically it wasn't a dramatic scene, you know, but but then you notice that you started to slowly become A little bit quieter. And again, I think the laughing is huge because when you leave someone and you realize that you didn't you never laughed, like not laughed one time. I think that's like info. And your body's like, hey, we're not having a fun time. Like at all. This is not fun. And I think once you started like deciding, like that being understood is optional, babe. I think that's the beginning of like disappearing inside of the relationship, you know? So anyway, that's my that's my two. Those are my two sons. Next one says, my body knew before I did. Yeah. So it says, I knew I wasn't right when I started feeling anxious before seeing him. Oh, talk about that's the body providing you with fucking info. It wasn't butterflies or excitement. It was like I felt tightness. You know, Darius and I talk about this a lot because I've got, you know, some I've got energetic blocks in my body, not around relationship to partner, but I definitely have some tightness in my body that's related to anxiety. And I'm doing listen, I'm trying to figure it out. So, and maybe you are too. So then it says I'd be getting ready and feel this heaviness in my chest. I think about what mood he might be in, whether I was gonna have to be on or accommodating or easygoing. Yeah. Well, that's a relationship, I think, to some degree. Like, you know what I mean? I think we all experience that to some degree. You know what I mean? So she says, nothing bad ever happened. He wasn't cruel, he wasn't mean, but my body would like brace anyway. And I ignored it for months because I couldn't explain it. That's really important to highlight. She says, I didn't have language for why I felt this way. I just knew I felt relief when plans got canceled. When you don't have the words to explain something, I think that's one of the hardest fucking things to navigate because you know, if you could just put words to it, if you could just describe to somebody else, if you could just create a path for a connection, you know, between your experience and someone else's by way of explanation. And it sounds so simple, but it's really not. Because when you don't have the words for it, it's like you can't figure out how to explain why you felt that way. Anyway, she says, now I understood that my body was clocking something, my brain kept trying to reason away. Yeah. Relief when plans get canceled is like a big red flag. Like where it's like a loud, it's a bell, it's a it's a signal, loud signal, if you will. Because you know, nervousness and butterflies are also like excitement, but dread is your nervous system going something doesn't feel easy going here or safe either. Both, or you know, so and we ignore it because we don't have a big enough reason to leave yet, but your body doesn't like need it like to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. Like in some cases, like your your your system just kind of knows. So and like if someone feels like preparing for a performance instead of like relaxing into yourself, like something is probably off, you know. So anyway, loud and clear. This next one says, when I started explaining him to my friends, uh oh. You know, I think we all this one's kind of short, so let's read it. I knew it wasn't right when my friends started asking questions, and I found myself defending him. I'd say things like, he's just bad at texting, or he's not great with emotions, or that's just how he is. Hmm, I feel like a lot of people probably know these phrases by heart. At some point, I realized I was spending more time translating him than enjoying him. Yeah, like what did he mean by that? That'll take up all your time. I've come home. Wait, I'd come home from seeing him and immediately feel the need to justify why it was still worth it. The night it clicked was when I realized none of my friends had actually met him, but they all knew his excuses, and that's when something that's when I knew something wasn't aligned. Well you know, in some way, it feels like when your friends know that someone's excuses, like before they know, like if they know the excuses before they know them as a person, then that feels kind of wild, you know? And like it's like you become like their translator, you know, it's like their their their PR team or whatever, like like a defense attorney. But and and you you you think you're being loyal, but you're really protecting yourself from admitting that you're not getting what you need. Like you shouldn't have to like subtitle your fucking partner, you know what I mean? Let's see. The next one says, uh, I felt lonely even when we were together. Okay, so it says, I knew it wasn't right when I felt lonely sitting right next to him. We'd be, I know, right? Sometimes you're like in the same room and you're like, could not feel world more worlds apart from the person, right? It says we'd be on the couch watching something and I'd feel this ache, not because I wanted attention, just wanted his presence. He was there physically, but emotionally I was totally there by myself. I remember thinking, well, listen, let's be honest. Let's be honest. I feel like in most relationships, especially when there's like a guy involved, that that that that that level of emotionality that you're looking for might not be there all the time. But I do think that there's potential for you if you if you're able to exercise your ability to say, like, hey, I need you to meet me here. And like right now, I want to talk about X. Or, you know, so there's like a way to like communicate in a way that feels like we're working with as opposed to against. So anyway, it says, I remember thinking this shouldn't feel harder than being single. I know that's right. I stayed because it wasn't awful, but because leaving felt more dramatic than anything else. And I kept hoping it wouldn't get deeper and deeper, but the loneliness didn't go away. It just got a little bit quieter. And that's when I knew when together felt emptier than alone. Now, if okay, lonely while partnered is a very kind of specific pain. Sorry, I need some of my tea. Because when you start thinking, like, am I the problem? You know, like when we start doing that thing, maybe I'm not, maybe I'm needy, maybe I'm not ready, maybe I'm maybe I expect too much, but you know, but together should not feel harder than alone. That feels like just counterintuitive. Even saying it out loud kind of sounds a little bit weird, but you don't need someone to be terrible to want to leave. Sometimes, like just not having a connection, I think, is enough reason to leave, you know. Okay, this next one says the subject is beep boop when I imagined my future and he wasn't in it. Oh, not clairvoyance. We I knew it wasn't right when I thought about my future and didn't picture him. Okay, tangent. Has anybody done any work with a fortune teller or like a a seer or someone who's doing that type of work? Because I'm I'm really curious. There it there is a woman downstairs, like right beneath the salt drop studio here in Astor Place that does like she's clairvoyant and offers like you know different services or whatever. And I would like to go and see her and check it out. But I'm curious about it because I do, you know, I do feel like I identify as a um, this is a long tangent, so sorry. I do identify as somebody who is a little bit skeptical of this kind of stuff. So I'm always curious to know what other people's experiences are. But I do have this wild memory, and I gotta, I gotta do, I gotta look it up because there was a story, an Italian story that my mom would talk about that she read in a book. And the the premise of it was it was a true story that someone died, someone's kid, I think, and they were so hungry for info that they eventually went to to see a psychic. And so the psychic, you know, and every, I think there were a couple different ones and whatever, and they were they were willing to do like absolutely anything to make this happen. And the story goes that the family went to the psychic or to this, you know, somebody that was clairvoyant, right? And they were able to, I don't know, their their skill was they would hold their hand open and like on a piece of paper, like like vert, like uh horizontal to a piece of no vertical to a piece of paper, right? And then they would like have a pen like at the palm of their hand, but imagine like holding it with your thumb. I'm sorry that I'm trying to describe this, but like basically the the pen is just like sitting in your open palm. And like she took her hand away from the pen, but the pen still stood. And as she moved her hand across the page, the page wrote. And so supposedly that the page wrote like that the you know, where the person's body was. It was the they were actually speaking to the person who had the you know the crime had taken place a few nights before or a few weeks before, and they were talking to the victim of the crime and basically explained like where the body could be located. And I guess the police ended up finding it there. I don't know. I'm gonna look all these details up, but I'm very curious to know what your experience is with that sort of thing. I've also, by the way, and I'm not embarrassed to say this, and if it's illegal, you guys can come and take me right to jail. But I've also spoken to a pet psychic, and I would do it a hundred times over. She was legit. I'll tell you what. She was like Peanut, who was my cat at the time. Peanut does not like the pills that are above the refrigerator. And that was like where she had to take pills every day and they were on the refrigerator. So, you know. Anyway, back to this, back to this email. Okay, I knew it wasn't right when I hold on.

unknown 35:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

I knew beep boop. I knew it wasn't right when I thought about my future and it didn't picture him there. Not in a dramatic way, just kind of matter of fact. And I'd imagine holidays and vacations, my morning routine, and like he was missing from every single one of them. Not because I didn't care, but because something in me didn't believe that he'd meet me there. Yeah, I kept dating him anyway. Of course you did. I kept hoping the feeling would change, don't we all? But that knowing never went away. I don't think it goes away, babe. I think that's like as we get a little bit older, I think we find like the places where we feel we can offer compromise and where we can. And also, like, I think when it comes to certain things, you know, an evening routine, a morning routine, or some some part of the process of being in a relationship is creating that with your partner, right? Like having some sort of like whether whatever it is, listen, it might be like I I need to work first thing in the morning, and maybe you get to have a half an hour, and so maybe like you make the coffee, or um there's something delightful about like little things like that that start to become routine. But if you don't picture your partner in those routines, then you know, and I'm one for freedom too, but I still want like I still want connective tissue with my partner by way of like ritual and routine. And that might be as simple as like saying, I love you when they get into bed, whether it be at like three in the morning or you know what I mean? I've got a new kitten, so like you know, our sleeping schedules are like totally off, but no matter what, no, no matter what, because in the middle of the night, our sleeping schedules are whack-a-doodle. One of us on the couch, one of us in the bed, there's two cats. And and and honestly, we're just on the couch because right, well, first of all, my back hurts. So sometimes I need to like wrestle my way into a comfortable position. So like I'm like, instead of keeping everybody up, let me just like go on the couch and just roll around like a gosh darn, like a gosh darn noodle. But but then then Darius and I got this cat, and the cat keeps him up. Actually, the cat's at the vet today because who knows? He's not pooping, and he threw up a couple times, but so he's got some like medication that they gave him and whatever, another $500. So that's cool. That's so cool. Anyway, let me get back to this email tangent. Let's see. But that knowing never went away. Okay, got it. Um, eventually I realized staying wasn't gonna create a future my body already knew wasn't coming. I know that's right. You know, this one hurts because it feels like a little bit on the calmer side. Like it doesn't sound like there's like any anger or animosity, it feels like maybe you found girl. It sounds like you found clarity. I, you know, if your brain can't cast someone in your future as like your counterpart, I don't think it's negativity. I think it's that is your gut, which is your other brain, which is that's your intuition. And we stay sometimes hoping that the feelings are gonna change, but most of the time, that knowing is the truth, and it's like fucking knocking on the door as politely as possible for months until it can't happen, can't handle it anymore, and it just kicks the door down, you know. Anyway, listen, before we kind of wrap up this episode, I want to say something that I think is important, and it you know, knowing something isn't right and leaving. So knowing something right and and leaving, those two are like different things. A lot of you guys knew and stayed because you were, I don't know, exhausted, tired, most likely hopeful, scared and or like not ready to start over. But that doesn't make you weak, and it doesn't make it anything except for a fucking human being. And your body usually knows before your brain admits it, and we see that like when we talk about like animals who are intuitive all the time, like when you're when your cats like know that you're sad or anyway. Now me talking about my cats being they're my angels, they know everything, they really do. In fact, we were just talking the other day, like when Darius is asleep, the cat sleeps by his feet, whereas like the cat sleeps by my tummy. I'm trying to figure that out. So if you guys know what that means, let me know. But anyway, all right, babes, that's where I'm gonna leave it today. You know, if this episode or any of the other episodes, like in the stories that we talk about, like if they hit close to home, just go easy on yourself today. Like, you don't need to make huge life decision at like, I don't know, lunchtime or midnight or you know, on your way to work in the morning or because this podcast episode. I mean, it's sometimes just taking a second to notice what the fuck is going on is enough for right now. And as always, I really appreciate you guys sending me these emails. I I feel grateful to be trusted with the stories that you guys send me. I know how personal they are, they're always gonna remain anonymous. And I hope that you guys realize that I'm gonna do my best to always maintain that. And if you want to write in or and like send your stories, please, long and messy and fucking wild and real, like I'm I'm all about it. And if you want the girlies to weigh in, because I feel like we've got this like crew of like, you know, 50 to 100 people right now listening to the podcast on a regular basis. And and trust me, I'm getting emails from people that I definitely don't know, which is fantastic, then say that in your email too, because I love when it turns into like a group convo. And anyway, as always, so grateful to be able to spend some time with you. So grateful that you're listening. Please share this podcast with a friend or two. And I'll talk to you guys next time. I hear you, babe.