Hope Comes to Visit
Hope Comes to Visit is a soulful podcast that holds space for real stories, honest conversations, and the kind of moments that remind us we’re never alone.
Hosted by author, speaker, and former TV journalist-turned-storyteller Danielle Elliott Smith, the show explores the full spectrum of the human experience — from the tender to the triumphant. Through powerful interviews and reflective storytelling, each episode offers light, connection, and presence for anyone navigating the in-between.
Whether you’re grieving, growing, beginning again, or simply craving something real, Hope Comes to Visit will meet you right where you are — with warmth, grace, and the quiet belief that even in the dark, transformation can take root.
New episodes drop every Monday and Friday, so you can begin and end your week with a little light, reflection, and hope.
Hope Comes to Visit
Trauma to Triumph: Valerie Rowekamp on Choosing Audacity and Becoming “Hope Personified”
What if the darkest moments of your life were actually preparing you for your greatest transformation?
In this week’s episode of Hope Comes to Visit, I sit down with Valerie Rowekamp, whose story is a breathtaking testament to resilience, audacity, and the power of refusing to give up on hope.
Valerie’s journey began in crisis: at just 22 weeks pregnant, her water broke, and doctors offered little optimism for her son, Rex, who was also facing multiple heart defects. Against all medical odds, Valerie carried him for nine more weeks. She remembers telling doctors, “We don’t have time for realistic here. This is my child.”
That fierce audacity carried her through five heart surgeries for Rex — who today is thriving, a living embodiment of what Valerie calls “hope personified.”
But Valerie’s transformation didn’t stop there. At 42, she turned the same tenacity inward, reinventing her life in remarkable ways. She lost 70 pounds, became a fashion model walking runways, and embraced a bold new identity as Vivi Chantal — a woman who radiates self-belief and possibility.
Her philosophy is simple yet profound: “Dress the part first. Romanticize your life. Stop waiting to be complete — evolution is the work of living.”
This episode is a reminder that:
- Hope whispers even when logic shouts.
- Reinvention is always possible — at any age, in any circumstance.
- Audacity — the refusal to tell yourself no — may just be the key to transformation.
Valerie’s story will inspire you to dream bigger, live bolder, and trust your own inner knowing.
Listen to the full episode here
And Connect with Valerie Here:
Thank you for listening to Hope Comes to Visit. If this episode resonated with you, please follow, rate, and share the show — it helps others find their way to these conversations.
New episodes drop every Monday and Friday, so you can begin and end your week with a little light and a lot of hope.
For more stories, reflections, and ways to connect, visit www.DanielleElliottSmith.com or follow along on Instagram @daniellesmithtv and @HopeComestoVisit
Oh, that was the scariest thing, because I always want to be able to hand a problem to a professional and say fix it. When those professionals look at you and they say this is you know, there's no chance, and they don't want to sell you hope at all. And I didn't. I felt like they were on my team but at the same time they were trying to be very realistic and I was like we don't have time for realistic here. This is my child.
Speaker 2:When we speak the truth of what we've lived, we offer others a way through. I'm Danielle Elliott Smith, and this is Hope Comes to Visit. I'm so thrilled you're here with us today. Today's guest is a longtime friend of mine and someone who, most assuredly, is going to convince you that the rest of your life is most definitely the best of your life.
Speaker 2:Valerie Rokamp, also known as Vivi Chantal, is a model content creator and founder of a luxury lifestyle brand that celebrates beauty, boldness and reinvention. Based in Denver, Valerie is a mother of three and a vibrant force in the world of fashion, wellness and digital influence. From walking runways to walking through life's most sacred challenges, her story is one of resilience, radiant self-expression and transformation. Through her platforms on Instagram and YouTube, she's redefining modern femininity, reminding women that it's never too late to become the most magnetic version of themselves. Let's take a quick moment to thank the people that support and sponsor the podcast. When life takes an unexpected turn, you deserve someone who will stand beside you. St Louis attorney Chris Dulley offers experienced one-on-one legal defense. Call 314-384-4000 or 314-DUI-HELP, or you can visit DulleyLawFirmcom that's D-U-L-L-E lawfirmcom for a free consultation.
Speaker 2:Valerie, friend, it is so good to see your face For lovely friends who are joining us in this podcast universe. Valerie and I go way back into the blogging world more than probably a dozen years, and it's yeah, we're OGs, so it's been a while since I've seen you, and what is so extraordinary about this experience for me getting to see you is I know so many iterations of you and the reinventions and have have witnessed some of these, these challenges, and getting to see where you are right now is it's beautiful. Thank you, Thanks, I'm so glad you're here. So let's, let's talk a little bit about one of the things that you have, you and I have in common the mom blogging world. Right? So I want to start with motherhood, because one of your most transformational experiences was within the realm of motherhood. So let's, let's start there. Let's talk about your, your role as a mom.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay, so my role as a mom, I honestly feel like, for me, motherhood my children have needed three different mothers. Like you know, I feel like I'm not just what was it, it's basically, yeah, I feel like through each birth of my, each birth of my child brought forth a different version of me that needed to come forward and like, honestly, I feel like one of my children who is the most hard to deal with child, he is the most like me and I feel like he healed parts of me that needed to be healed at the time. And then there was also Rex, who was born and he has had five heart surgeries and he is just a little ray of sunshine and he brought out other parts in me that that are very sacred. And then also there was just a lot of trauma there and stuff. And so, yeah, I feel like with motherhood, that has been its own journey on its own.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, rex, going through the surgeries with Rex, because I know, at one point, when you and I were first talking because this, this podcast, has been in the making for quite some time and when I was first talking about doing this, that was when you first said to me I'd love to tell my story. And there's been so many other reasons for you to want to share hope, in addition to Rex, since then. But, having had that experience with him, tell us a little bit about your journey with him. What was his birth like? What was his initially? You think you're having a healthy pregnancy? Yes, and then you have an ultrasound that is not quite what you expected.
Speaker 1:Right, yes, exactly. First I found out I was pregnant with him and I was so excited this was my third. And so like, yeah, I've done this before, it's going to be easy and fun and I'll make new mom friends in Colorado. And then, um, at a 17 week ultrasound I got the news that just something was wrong. That's all they could tell. Something was wrong with his heart. And so we're like okay. And we then get very scared because they don't even know if he's going to survive, like the pregnant. They can't tell me anything, basically. So then I go to children's and I go to the cardiologist and they tell us like yes, he, just he. He has transmission of the great arteries, he has pulmonary stenosis, ventricular septal defect, atrial septal defect, and is there a fifth one, maybe pulmonary stenosis? I don't know, but they tell us all that stuff.
Speaker 2:You're rattling all these off as though this is like you're a heart expert now, and this all had to be language that meant next to nothing to you initially.
Speaker 1:Right. It was terrifying and I mostly wanted to know is he going to survive or not? Basically was kind of what, what was going on? And so then, as soon as I'm able to wrap my head around his diagnosis and the fact that he's going to need surgery and he's going to be in the hospital for a long time after he's born, I start to feel comfortable about that. And then I wake up at like 3 am one morning and this was a couple of weeks after. So I was 22 weeks when my water broke, and normally, and it happened at night. It was very traumatic and whenever I went to the ER the nurse was telling me like there's no way. Nobody breaks their water that early, I promise you. You probably just wet yourself, but no. And so then after that things just got super dicey, because most women give birth within like 72 hours and I managed to make it, for I want to say it was like nine weeks. So that happened at 22 weeks and then at 31 weeks, and three days was whenever I actually went into labor.
Speaker 2:How in the world? I don't know that I've ever heard. I didn't know that it was possible to have your water broken. And then I mean clearly I'm not a doctor, but I didn't know that it was possible to have your water broken and then continue to be pregnant for weeks.
Speaker 1:I, yeah, yeah, and I didn't either. And they told me I mean, they told me multiple times like your other kids need you and if you want us to, I mean, and you don't need to continue the pregnancy, you're, it's, this isn't going to end well, he could be deformed, like they gave us a very small percentage of 1%, especially because of the heart thing. So he, in addition to being a preemie and not knowing how, if his lungs developed or anything like that, then he also needed to be like a certain weight so that he could have heart surgery, because they couldn't even do heart surgery unless he was a certain weight. So he had to be over. What was it? It was supposed to be over 32 weeks before they would resuscitate him. But I was 31 weeks and three days and while I was in labor, they were asking me do you want us to take him to the NICU? Do you guys want to say goodbye? That kind of thing? And so and I said, please, just do whatever you can. And so they did.
Speaker 1:And then yeah, and he ended up having like two surgeries like this could be a whole podcast about him. But he had to have what was it to? One was planned, one was unplanned. He had three surgeries total but two were open heart surgeries before he was able to come home. And then it was, honestly, it was just such a huge ordeal for that first, like six months, because we had two planned heart surgeries, two unplanned, because the first two just needed a little extra help. So there was that. Then he had another one whenever he was six.
Speaker 2:He's a little miracle boy, he is.
Speaker 1:And he lives like it too, like he lives life to his fullest. I feel like he's met all of his angels and so he knows he's good and he is just like such a ray of sunshine and just lives.
Speaker 2:What makes you say that? What makes you say you?
Speaker 1:feel like he's met all of his angels and he's good because he, he lives like that, like he lives like someone who knows that he is supported by forces that are unseen. You know, like he, yeah, he absolutely lives like that, and then he just always knows like, the right thing to say and he's just like, just the happiest, the happiest little boy. I didn't know it was possible to be so happy and that's what everyone tells us, um, all of his teachers. He meets random strangers on the streets, like every he doesn't know an enemy, except for, maybe, like his middle brother, but yeah is he the one that's the most like you yes, yes or wait.
Speaker 1:Which one, rocco or Rex?
Speaker 2:you said that. No, the one that's challenging.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, yes, yes, rocco. Rocco is the one who is the most like me.
Speaker 2:Yes, because I was going to say Rex is the sweet little ray of sunshine and his middle brother is the one that gives him a run.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep, yep, rocco's spicy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like he's Hope personified.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, he is, and that was one of the things that got me through that pregnancy. Okay, because for me, with that pregnancy, I had to live every moment, like, okay, he is alive right now, like that was the only I could just cling to, each moment, like it's right now. That's the only time that matters he's still here. And I felt like whenever I was sitting in my living room and I was pregnant and I had, like all of my family members in the same room, I was like this might be the only time. And the tagline for one of the groups that was very supportive to me they, their tagline was where there's a heartbeat, there's hope, and that's what I just clung to and, honestly, that helped me through the rest of my life. As far as my mindset goes, it's like right now we are okay and we don't need to worry and so, and it ended up working out.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, you sound so spirited about it. Do you worry about him or do you feel as though he is protected?
Speaker 1:No, I do feel like he is very protected and I don't like it.
Speaker 1:I feel like I went through so much trauma with that, like I I honestly feel like I could do anything after that because I'm like, if he just lived, we're good, like, and we just and I also had a moment where um, what was it? I started bleeding in the time and I overnight I had to sign papers that like, if I'm asleep and I just start hemorrhaging, you guys can do a blood transfusion and that sort of thing, and then they just immediately have to end the pregnancy and stuff. And so having to live through that night just made me feel like I can get through all of my worst days. Like I hope this is my worst day, but also, even if it's not, I know that things my worst days. Like I A, I hope this is my worst day, but also, even if it's not, I know that things will be okay.
Speaker 1:And Casey, one of Casey's quotes you know Mooshin and D Casey Mullins Okay, her quote, yes, her quote everything will be okay in the end and if it's not okay, it's not the end that gets me through.
Speaker 2:So many things too, she is going to love that you quoted her.
Speaker 1:She is close.
Speaker 2:She's one of my close friends. She is going to love that you quoted her. Uh, you know, she is such a a good, such a good soul, right, and she's, you know, like so many of us, has been through a lot and has continued to persevere. What is it that continued to get you through, as you were trying to talk yourself through this minute, this hour, this day?
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, my goodness, what did get me through? Cause I really feel like I white knuckled that whole thing, honestly. Um, I was so scared and then I guess, oh, I feel like I had to be very, I had to be very detached from him. That was one of my coping mechanisms.
Speaker 1:I was scared of him when he was a preemie. I was very scared of him because I was afraid, like I was like we have done this much and we have gotten this far, and if I touch him and get like germs on him, he could get some kind of infection and die. So after that I was very afraid to hold on to him. And so I feel like, yes, a lot of detachment and just being very more like internally focused helped a lot. And then I just had to have a lot of trust in the medical team, because you know like God can't like really send angels to you or anything like that, but you have all of these people who are on your team and they just yeah, so that whole beautiful network just had me have to trust and have faith.
Speaker 2:And so yeah, sounds as though you were surrounded by angels on every level. Yes, for sure.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So then you take that experience and you're raising him now. How, how is he health wise now?
Speaker 1:He is great.
Speaker 1:The only time we have issue is whenever he is actually in, whenever he actually has a surgery.
Speaker 1:So like whenever he was first born, we were at the he was very high risk and we were at the hospital, I want to say weekly, and then we got weaned like every few months and now it is just one cardiology visit, but like whenever he had to have surgery he had more visits and then he um, I feel like he wasn't himself and he was in a lot of pain kind of sort of for maybe 10 days, which for me was very beautiful and healing to see, because I was afraid that he had like lingering medical trauma and stuff like that. But really it was like he whipped back and recovered so fast and we had hard nights because it was hard to sleep at night, when he couldn't really move and his chest hurt and stuff. But other than that he just lives a completely like normal life. He keeps up with his brothers, he, yeah, and I also feel like he's raising me in a lot of ways. You know, just as the third child, he I I definitely feel like he's raising me in a lot of ways.
Speaker 2:Is there, and I've always believed that my kids are my greatest teachers, and I think that Rex is taking you to a new level of that entirely. But are there medically? Are there other scheduled surgeries that the doctors have said when he's 17, he may have to have this, or is it just he's good as far as we know?
Speaker 1:Yeah, he well. No, the thing is is, hopefully the next surgeries that he has will be in the cath lab. So they gave him this. He has a bovine conduit in his heart and they tried to give him a large one so that he will hopefully grow to adulthood and then in the future they can just handle it in a cath lab where they go through his ankle and they're able to dilate it and make it bigger. But honestly, I have trust in whatever has to happen. Oh, you get that Okay, and whatever has to happen, um, as far as he is concerned. And also, I feel like our kids are put on this planet to sometimes stretch us, to advocate for them in ways that we didn't advocate for ourselves, and I keep learning that over and over again.
Speaker 2:And it is beautiful to be able to be this person's superhero and the person who, like, is the reason why they're on this earth, you know, and so you just kind of work together through all of that, but yeah, so then, let's talk about that, because you've been his superhero and there is an element of you getting to be your own advocate, your own superhero, now as you step into the rest of your life, the best of your life, right and I got chills when you first said that before we started to talk, and then I built it into the beginning of the show, right, because it's yeah, it's the versions that you and I get to live now, having gone through things, we get to choose the best of our lives. Exactly what does that look like for you now and what are you stepping into? Tell us about this version of you right now that's sitting in Aspen.
Speaker 1:I know, oh my gosh, it is so surreal. Okay, so uh, as far as the rest of my life being the best of my life. So, basically, on the, it was January, it was new years of 2024. So from 2023 to 2024, that New Year's I was in bad shape. I did not like the way my life looked and I wrote down my biggest dreams of what I wanted. I wanted to model, I wanted to get back into blogging, I wanted love Like I wanted all of it but I was also very afraid to ask for it, but also I didn't feel like it was my place to tell myself no, and so I decided to. What is it? I found the best modeling agency in Colorado and I submitted photos to them and things, and they ended up looking through all of my online portfolio. They looked through all my YouTube videos and things, and so whenever I went into that interview, I thought that I needed to impress them. But really, when I sat down, they were trying to convince me to join and they were telling me all the good things about the agency and stuff, and so I signed with them.
Speaker 1:And then that, and then after that also, my ex.
Speaker 1:He had like a three pack class to a three pack spin class thing and he wasn't using it and I was.
Speaker 1:I was very bored and so I decided to do that one 6am morning and I got addicted to it, okay, and then I it like it healed a lot of things in me for a lot of different ways in a lot of different ways. But, um, I ended up I had a spin class addiction and from then to now I released 70 pounds and I just have a much healthier relationship, I feel like, with food, with my body. I just always want to be really strong and I'm always striving and I never in a million years thought that at 42, I was going to be modeling, I was going to be advancing in modeling, and then also I didn't know that I was going to be in the best shape of my life and then trying to get better. You know like it's. It's really cool, and it's also really cool to see like my kids be so proud and then they're also very influenced to live like a very healthy life just because they see me and that, and so, yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 2:I love this. What was the tipping point, do you think, from? I don't know that, the tipping point from? I'm unhappy, I don't like my life to. Can I ask for something different? Am I allowed to?
Speaker 1:Right, right, it's so, it was so hard, it was, I mean, a. It was that mindset of just I'm not going to tell myself, no, I'm going to live my best life. I had to develop a lot of audacity, like, honestly, that is a lot of it. You know how people say like you're Delulu, make it Trellulu. Like that has been me this whole time, and I am always the most shocked person to be like, wait, that worked out, that happened and so that's yes, that's totally been.
Speaker 2:Yes, you said you're getting ready to walk fashion week right?
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I'm getting ready to walk in Aspen fashion week. Thank you.
Speaker 2:I am so proud of you. I'm so excited for you. What has been in in the past year let's say what has been the most surreal. I actually had the audacity to wish for it.
Speaker 1:I actually had the audacity to wish for it. And here it is yeah, yes, okay, one of them was shooting a commercial with Peyton Manning and I mean even that also. The thing was funny was less than like 24 hours before I shot the commercial, I had had surgery. So I had like a labroscopic surgery to get my tubes tied, but I didn't tell anybody because I was like you know what I'm going to, I'm going to be an extra, I'm going to be fine, and I was and but yeah, that was one of those surreal kind of moments of yeah, and then I've just done so many cool commercials and photo shoots and like it's, it's been a lot than photo shoots and like it's it's been a lot. And now I'm just really excited, honestly, to integrate that with what I want to build online. And you know this VB Chantal that is debuting, so it's cool. Tell us about VB.
Speaker 2:Chantal.
Speaker 1:All right, vb, chantal, it is for me, a lot of it is. I like to live my life like I'm on vacation. I feel like you should have a life that you don't need to take a vacation from, basically. And so and I know, like you know, we've got kids and all the things, but at the same time, you can still be fabulous. Like, honestly, and one of the things that motivates me to go to the gym for I think up to now it's probably like 350 spin classes One of the things that motivates me is like I get to wear a really cool outfit.
Speaker 1:You know, like I get to wear this like aloe set or whatever, and then if I decide to go on a weighted vest walk later I can wear another cool outfit and then I can also take my little selfies and stuff my mirror selfies and like that is honestly one of the things that motivates me.
Speaker 1:But honestly it's it's really the hill climbs and that's whenever I channel my Rex energy is whenever we're doing like the really hard hill climbs, or like I'm in Aspen right now and I had to like walk like almost just straight up for a hike, and I always, I always tell myself you can do anything Like, even if I don't necessarily, I'm just always like you can do this, you can do anything, you can do this, you can do anything. And then I also just use like the kindest voice I can to myself and that is one of the superpowers that I have learned in all this time Because, as a woman, when you are so outwardly focused, you don't feel like your world is yours. You know you don't feel like the main character in your own story and I know like for me, I had to wait 40 years before I knew I was important, like honestly.
Speaker 2:You know it's funny that you said that main character sentence, because for the longest time I said that I had a starring role in someone else's story and it was really hard for me to take ownership of the fact that I had allowed that to happen and unwittingly, I mean, it wasn't as though I was marching along and thinking I'd love to be your main character rather than my own. It was just that I had allowed it to happen and found myself walking up and down the stairs in my house thinking how did I get here? This is not part of the plan and this is someone else's story. This is someone else's timeline. This is not what I had planned and there have been different pathways that I've had to take in order to get to where I am now, but this is the truest version of me that I am.
Speaker 2:And as I'm listening to you. This is one of the things that's so beautifully inspiring to me about this podcast is that, while I am hoping that it will meet people where they are, it continues to meet me where I am. Ooh, yes, and I hear you and I think for the longest time, I just wanted somebody to say something that inspired me to want to move and to exercise, and never in my life have I thought, gosh, I'd really like to move and you've just said sentences that made me want to feel stronger, and that's never happened before. So I mean, I'm 10 years older than you, right? So I'm 52. I'm not in bad shape. I've just never been super excited. I love to feel fabulous, don't get me wrong, so I can meet you on that one, but I know that I'm at an age now where I have to work harder at it. Oh, yes, and I need to take better care of myself.
Speaker 2:And hosted a retreat this past weekend, uh, and we went on a hike and I did it and I was proud of myself for doing it, and one of the women I was with said love to move my body, and I'm always loving to be outside and I'm thinking I I never say these things, I never just. But then I'm listening to you and I'm thinking, okay, I need, I need more of this type of energy in my life. So it inspires me to find that in me and I love that, because we should want to feel like the best versions of ourselves and part of what hope comes to. You're allowed to own it. Go for it.
Speaker 1:So thank you oh my gosh, you're so welcome. Yes, and I also I was at a point in my life where I was tired of going to therapy. I was tired of treating myself like a project that was never going to be fixed. Okay, and I still feel like I do that, but I treat it as evolutions and I treat it as levels, you know, and I am totally happy with jumping to one level before I'm ready and then just like dealing with making it come together.
Speaker 1:Basically, but I I came to a point to where I was very tired of going to therapy. I was tired of overthinking things and have processing them. And then then came my connection with my body, and whenever you're moving your body like that and you're having to push yourself and you're having to be present all the time, it is very easy to work through like your stuff is going to come to the surface and so and that is the way to deal with it and that is what I tell people now also is I'm like that is my addiction, like I have a fitness addiction and it, and a lot of it, is because that just is my go-to stress reliever and it helps rebalance my nervous system and yeah, what would you say is the most important lesson you've learned about yourself in the last couple of years?
Speaker 1:Oh, ok, one of the most important things I've learned about myself is, honestly, I part of me feels like it feels very there's. It's a different kind of trauma. I wouldn't say it's, but sometimes, a lot of times, I get very overwhelmed whenever I have hit certain goals and milestones that maybe I didn't really think I was going to. And I'm also surprised all the time at how, in the toilet, my self-worth was, honestly, you know, and when I look in the mirror right now, I'm just like baby carl, like you are, so like it, just yeah, it's been, it's been cool to witness and it's very surreal, like if it wasn't my own life. I don't know that I would necessarily believe that all of it was possible, but I'm glad it was.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, it still is yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1:Right, exactly, and I'm right now like it is hard for me to think, like what if life does get better, you know?
Speaker 2:so pretend, do me a favor and okay, talk to my listeners like they are your friends and you're encouraging them to have the audacity to assume life is getting better than yours is right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, my main thing, honestly, would be dress the part first. First of all, dress the part, because whenever I look at that cause I did today whenever I looked at that picture of myself from on February 22nd uh, 2024, and like I was much heavier and I like at certain angles, whenever you see me, you would be like, um, what was it? I don't know. Whenever I look back at those pictures, like I see the version of me that is me, that is right now me that I identify with. And she had her fingers up and she was just all happy and pumped and excited for herself.
Speaker 1:And I was dressing the part, like I had on this cute like midriff tank top kind of thing with my little biker shorts, and you could not have told me I wasn't the hottest thing in the room. And then, whenever I get like six months into the fitness journey, I was like, oh my gosh, I think I might be the hottest thing in the room, you know, and then it just kept building on from there and it's honestly a dress the part kind of situation, like if, like, just put on a beautiful dress and clean your house and, you know, just really start to romanticize your life. Cause I don't only romanticize my life and that is a lot saying being midlife and having dealt with divorce and having dealt with, um, just various like traumatic issues and stuff like that. Have after having dealt with that and then it's yes, there is you. I romanticize like everything that I can about my life. I will romanticize it and so and that especially happens with fitness too.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I love how you have put a romantic spin on so many things in your life to continue to encourage you to move forward and and dream, dream and and hope and wish. How do you define hope?
Speaker 1:Ooh, ooh, how do I define hope? Ugh, I I feel like hope is one of those things that whispers, and it's one of those things that it is the thing that you can't even say out loud because people will think that you're crazy for believing that hard Like that's. One of the things that Rex did for me was because I was offended when they told me his diagnosis and the fact that he had a prognosis while he was still in my stomach. That really bothered me a lot, and so I feel like that just having having all of that happen started a very deep love affair with myself, and that has been what it's been, because I spent at least three and a half years not dating and I was only focused on myself and my family, but really more myself, and that's been so healing for me. So it's like when nobody else is going to show up for you.
Speaker 1:Even if you don't want to say out loud like I want to be a top model and I'm, you know, like 42 years old, it is, yeah, it's, it's the self-love will carry you through every single time.
Speaker 1:Like you don't have to tell all your friends, you don't have to post to the internet, but just like put it out there, dress the part, walk into the room like you own the place, get yourself some main character energy and go for it Because, honestly, it is your world. You know, like you are the center of the world, as you know, you are the only Danielle, you're the only. I'm the only, I'm the only chance Valerie has to see this whole earth, and I want to see all of that. And in the past I would have been kind of like, oh, I don't know if I should say that out loud, but it's like no baby girl, like we can do this, and so and I have been and yeah, yeah, I'm honestly very excited and I've gotten to a point to where I'm done grieving. I'm done grieving the past. I'm done grieving the divorce and what I thought my life was going to be, and I am very excited about the unknown and I just love being in that kind of space.
Speaker 2:How much of your experience with Rex and you being offended by the doctors having the audacity to tell you that he might not be okay, do you think, informs the fact that you said no, no, no, no, I will not stand for what you tell me. I'm going to stand for what I know. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, that was the scariest thing, because I always want to be the. I always want to be able to hand a problem to a professional and say fix it. When those professionals look at you and they say this is you know, there's no chance, and they're they don't want to sell you hope at all, and I I didn't. I felt like they were on my team but at the same time they were trying to be very realistic and I was like we don't have time for realistic here. This is my child on the line and so, and I was just willing to hang with him.
Speaker 1:I was like little guy on the line and so, and I was just willing to hang with him. I was like little guy you know, like, and I would talk to him like this, like if and at first I thought he was a girl too, because they originally thought he was a girl, and at first that's where I pulled my strength from. I was like I got to show her what women are like. But anyway, aside from that, um, yeah, yeah, having to then just completely go out into the unknown and never know for however many like nine weeks and then even longer after that if he was going to survive. Yeah, that is that. I feel like that was where I was birthed. Really a big lesson in hope.
Speaker 2:It also sounds to me like you learned to rely on yourself. It was something that you knew and our inner knowing. And if your inner knowing is going to guide you, when the professionals say I'm sorry, valerie, I don't know, I can't no promises here, and there's a piece of you that says, oh no, I'm sorry, valerie, I don't know, I can't no promises here, and there's a piece of you that says, oh no, I know and you're right. If you're right about that, you can be right about all things about you.
Speaker 1:Yes and I that's so powerful and I feel like that's the kind of thing that, like Joe Dispenza tries to tell people and it's, but it's really hard until you have to go through it, you know, until you're at your like rock bottom moment and and like I had so many times, like in marriage, like what was it in marriage? Just the quiet when everybody's asleep and you're on the floor in the bathroom just like crying, like torrential downpour of like what happened, that sort of thing, and then that little inner knowing just comes through to help you and give you a little boost and be gentle with you. That was another thing that I learned on my journey.
Speaker 1:Whenever I was living by myself, I started taking care of myself like a mother would take care of her children, and I became fiercely protective of myself and it has served me so well, because the world can break your heart, but you don't break your own heart Like nope, nope, nope, nope. And I also get very, I get very triggered whenever people don't like advocate for themselves and things like that, cause I'm like you're your only hope. Nobody else is going to do this except for you, and so, yeah, you can pull a lot of strength from that, but truly, yes, just don't believe. You don't have, you don't have to subscribe and believe to everything that people tell you.
Speaker 2:No, I I couldn't agree more, because I think that it's so important that we are our own advocates. And I love that you said audacity earlier, because I think that we would be well served to have more audacity.
Speaker 1:Oh yes.
Speaker 2:To have the audacity to believe that we can, To. When your inner knowing serves you up a question or makes you feel imposter-esque, what do you say to her?
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, I'm so glad you brought that up, cause I do feel imposter-esque a lot of the time. I think we all do right.
Speaker 2:Especially when things go well right, when the when you're in the commercial with Peyton Manning and you think am I supposed to be here, right? Does everybody know how?
Speaker 2:old I am Right, and I, I have those moments too. I mean, I, I have them regularly and I, you know, I spoke to a gentleman earlier who was telling me that he wrote a book and he showed me the book and he said you know, this was my, my 13th book, and when I wrote it I put it back in the cabinet and I left it there for 12 years. And I said you put your 13th book back in the cabinet for 12 years and then when it came out, it was a bestseller. What? What about? Your 13th book made you suddenly think that you weren't an author, right? What is it about? We can have a tremendous amount of success and then suddenly find ourselves thinking no, today I'm not an author. Today I'm not a model. Today I don't have the ability to get on camera and speak. Today I'm a terrible mother. Whatever it is that we do, well, the doubt creeps in. What do you say to your loudest voice of doubt when it starts to find its way in?
Speaker 1:I was backstage and I was about to walk through Lisa Marie Couture and I almost had a panic attack because I was like if the, if your younger self knew that this was what you were going to be doing at 42, like living this kind of dream. But I immediately turned it into those, that nervous feeling. I was like this is just you being excited and you are going to enjoy having every single eye on you and you're going to walk as slow and as graceful and as powerfully as possible and it works. And then the next fashion week, I ended up modeling three looks. I made Denver Fashion Week history because I modeled three looks in the same show for a designer and in the fact it healed so many things in my body.
Speaker 1:Because she was like you have the perfect curves for bridal wear and I was like, okay, I'm like a bridal wear. That that's a little strange just because of my weird feelings about marriage, like the fact that I excel in this. I was like you know, this is the best time you get to rock this kind of dress. You know, like you wear three, seven thousand dollar gowns.
Speaker 1:You didn't have to pay for photography and makeup and hair and I was with all of these beautiful women everywhere yes, exactly, and I was just surrounded by all these other beautiful bridal models and stuff and so and that was, and so whenever I am having those little fraud moments, I was like no, you have worked too hard, sister, for all of this. And that is also the fact that the way that I have worked to become who I am now, it really it really makes it easy to discern, like, what people you should be hanging out with, because if they don't see my work, then I am like absolutely not, goodbye, you're blocked, like you're done. And having that yeah, having that honestly, has helped me so much.
Speaker 2:See, that's extraordinary too, because that's a place. So you're, you're there earlier than I was Right, oh, really. Oh, that's shocking to me. Well, because one of the things that my ex-husband used to say to me and again, jeff and I are very good friends, but he always said to me Danielle, your expectations of people are too high, because I would expect people to treat me the way I treated them, and when they didn't, I was always so disappointed, and what I realized in my later years is that I require friendships that match my energy.
Speaker 2:I require and it's funny because I wrote a blog post about this years ago about having friends who are cheerleaders I require cheerleading friends.
Speaker 2:I require people who are and I have raised Delaney to recognize this as well that you have to have people in your life who will be as excited for you as you are. So if I can't celebrate you at Fashion Week in Aspen later, because my first reaction is, oh well, that sounds cool as compared to oh my God, I can't wait to see the pictures. Yeah, right, you are going to rocket. Wow, you deserve that. Even if there was a piece of me that thought, damn, I'd love to do that.
Speaker 2:Those two things can exist at the same time. I can remember years ago, years ago. So Audrey and I did a lot of the same work in the blogging world. Right, yeah, yes, before I ever did any type of red carpet work, audrey was the first one to do it, and both things existed at the same time. I thought, damn, I would love to do something red carpet and God, I'm so excited for her. And those two emotions genuinely existed at the same time. Yes, not, I can't believe they would pick her and not me. Really and truly, there was none of that from me, because I want people to succeed, because her getting to do it meant that that actually existed as an opportunity, exactly. Yeah, that's what that means to me. You being in Fashion Week in your 40s means that there are opportunities for other beautiful women to do this. It means that they're not only looking for 20 year olds. This should be an amazing, extraordinary thing for other people, and so I hope that you're surrounding yourself by other people who are celebrating that for you.
Speaker 1:Yes, I am, and I honestly feel like. I feel like jealousy to me is an opportunity for me to examine that dream for myself, because, honestly, I saw another mom at my kid's school who she had been a pageant queen and she had a different trajectory, but we worked for the same um, what our kids go to the same school. And then we also worked for the same modeling agency and I was like you know what? I can go walk down a red carpet too. All I have to do is apply and so, and now we are the biggest cheerleaders for each other online, and it was. It was one of those things, instead of letting jealousy be a block and being like, oh no, only Lauren can do that because she was Miss Columbia, no, I can do that too, and I tell myself and I just go along.
Speaker 2:Yes, exactly, that is fantastic. What is your next big dream? What can we hope for for you?
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, my next big dream.
Speaker 1:It's hard for me to decide, but I'm realizing now, also talking to you, that I don't necessarily have to decide because I really want to just like rebirth my online, like as Vivi Chantal, as the person I'm stepping into.
Speaker 1:Like I had to give her a new name, even one that I'm not all the way comfortable with, but I love it.
Speaker 1:But I had to give it a new name because it helps me to detach more from, like Valerie Rowe camp, you know, and so, um, yes, my next hope for myself is that I get just even further, just blow the water off of whatever is possible for me as far as modeling goes, like I am ready to receive that and the same thing with love, and then also, yeah, with modeling and especially with influencer stuff, because that's where my heart is, like I have said in the past, like I want to start a divorcee. Sorority is basically the way I feel about it, honestly. But yeah, yeah, that is pretty much what's going for. I'm so glad you asked that, because sometimes now I get afraid to ask myself those questions because I know I know what I'm capable of and I'm like, what if I don't know what I'm capable of, you know, and so I just give myself that much space and I just let myself just you know surprise myself.
Speaker 2:Well, I have loved having you here shining your light and and just being such a bright, beautiful presence. Um, I encourage people who are listening to jump on YouTube and just see your bright, beautiful presence as well, because people can do both they can listen to the podcast, but they can also see it on YouTube.
Speaker 2:So yeah, and Instagram, I'm probably more on Instagram, but I am resurrect. I'm working on more YouTube too. I meant just for this podcast, but yes, that is. Oh okay, yes, oh yes, sorry, find you, yeah, find you, yeah. Yes, everyone can find me. I am charmed. Valerie on.
Speaker 1:Instagram, Everyone can find me. I am charmedvalerie on Instagram and then on YouTube you can find me. If you look up Valerie Roe Camp or charmedvalerie, you'll find me there.
Speaker 2:That is amazing. I'm so excited to see what you do next. Thank you for being here with me tonight. It has been such a delight and so good to see your face again after so long. I will be watching along to see what you do next. See your face again after so long. I will be watching along to see what you do next. And, friends, thank you once again for being here for this episode of Hope Comes to Visit. As always, I so hope we met you where you are today and that this version of love and light and hope was exactly what you needed, and I hope that you will find someplace somewhere to share this with someone you love, and I hope that it meets them exactly where they are as well and encourages you guys to have the audacity you deserve. Yes, until next time. Take good care of you and thank you for being here with us.
Speaker 2:Naturally, it's important to thank the people who support and sponsor the podcast. This episode is supported by Chris Dulley, a trusted criminal defense attorney and friend of mine here in St Louis, who believes in second chances and solid representation. Whether you're facing a DWI, felony or traffic issue, chris handles your case personally with clarity, compassion and over 15 years of experience. When things feel uncertain, it helps to have someone steady in your corner. Call 314-384-4000 or 314-DUI-HELP, or you can visit DulleyLawFirmcom to schedule your free consultation.