Hope Comes to Visit

Planning in Pencil: Candice Suarez’s Life Drafting After Tongue Cancer

• Danielle Elliott Smith • Season 1 • Episode 29

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Content note: candid discussion of cancer diagnosis, surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, and recovery.

What if hope isn’t “it’ll be fine,” but “I can handle what comes”? That shift changed everything for Candice Suarez. In this conversation, Candice takes us inside a whirlwind season: a misread ulcer during COVID, a tongue-cancer diagnosis, surgery removing over half her tongue, a forearm graft, and weeks of radiation and chemo. She walks us through recovery’s gritty middle—managing pain, relearning to swallow, and returning to public speaking with a voice that invites the world to lean in.

Out of that crucible came Life Drafting—a practical, compassionate framework for navigating change by planning in pencil. Candice shares the four buckets she uses with clients and in her own life—health, connection, contribution, and play—and shows how small, honest edits compound into momentum. We talk agency under uncertainty, why identity can survive (and even grow) through loss, and how to build routines and relationships that make resilience a skill, not a slogan.

Candice also introduces Draft You, her six-month journal for young adults, and the Draft Lab coaching community that supports students and grownups in the “no longer, not yet” spaces of life.

You’ll learn:

  • A grounded definition of hope that doesn’t hinge on perfect outcomes
  • How to “plan in pencil” with the four Life Drafting buckets
  • Weekly audits + micro-commitments that actually stick
  • Ways identity grows through loss—and how to practice agency under uncertainty
  • Why edits aren’t failures; they’re craft

If you’re staring down a transition—or helping someone you love through one—this episode offers tools you can use today.

Connect with Candice on her website and learn more LifeDrafting.

And her new book is out! - get it here: Draft You.

If this conversation and episode resonated: please follow the show, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help more people find these stories of hope, strength and renewal.

Thank you for listening to Hope Comes to Visit. If this conversation helps, follow the show, share it with someone who needs hope today, and leave a review - it helps others find their way to these conversations.

New episodes drop every Monday, so you can begin your week with a little light and a lot of hope.

For more stories, reflections, and ways to connect, visit www.DanielleElliottSmith.com or follow along on Instagram @daniellesmithtv and @HopeComestoVisit



SPEAKER_00:

Well no, I I appreciate that. And some days I get pissed off at the person behind this house of lamb oil coffee who can't understand me.

SPEAKER_01:

Hi there, I'm Danielle Elliott Smith, and this is Hope Comes to Visit, where we celebrate conversations about hope, healing, and the power of story. My guest today is Candace Suarez. Candace is a life drafting coach with a passion for helping people navigate life's transitions with clarity, creativity, and confidence. From her professional roles as a school counselor, behavior specialist, and mobile therapist, Candace gained in-depth insight into human development, emotional regulation, and the importance of supportive guidance. She holds a master's degree in education with a concentration in school counseling and has spent over two decades supporting individuals through every stage of growth. Let's take a quick moment to thank the people that support and sponsor the podcast. When life takes an unexpected turn, you deserve someone who will stand beside you. St. Louis attorney Chris Duly offers experienced one-on-one legal defense. Call 314-384-4000 or 314-DUI Help. Or you can visit Dulilawfirm.com. That's D-U-L-L-E Law Firm.com for a free consultation. Candace, thank you so much for being here with me today. Yeah, thank you for having me. I am so excited to talk to you about everything you're doing and everything you've been through to get to right here, right now. Tell me, would you prefer to start with what you have coming up or where you've been to get to right now?

SPEAKER_00:

Probably not, but yeah, we'll probably be the most likely place to start.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so let's start. Start with your cancer journey. That was in 2022, right? Yeah. Okay. So a surprise diagnosis?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, yes and no. Um prior to that, I had well, I had tongue cancer. Your tongue cancer, okay. Tongue cancer, which explains my ultimate voice. So I would feel like that is the best place to start. Um is wondering why is she talking that way? Um, so I would say not a surprise because I had a history of white spots on my tongue that would occasionally be biopsy and be fine. Um, but this one was different. And that from the short, um, it was like a painful ulcer that went over away. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

So your your dentist had been on top of it, so you'd had things checked a few times. Was it ever on your radar that it might come back as malignant as compared to benign when you'd had things checked before?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, nobody really ever told me that. They said it might be this, it might be that. No one was ever very definitive about what it was. And then it was COVID. Um when I started to get, you know, the pain that would go away. And I um I went to my family doctor first, who I described my situation of having the normal biopsies, the possible explanation of what it could be, and she said, Oh, yeah, I'm sure it's this try to show us cream, and she had a swell. It I mean, also imagine putting a show cream on your song.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. I I yeah I imagine that it's not a good time. I mean, I I would think like any time I've ever had like a canker sore or using like an ambisol or something that numbs whatever that I used to get canker sores when I was a kid, and my parents were like, here's two dollars. You can go to the the the store and and get yourself too much candy, and that would inevitably cause some type of canker sore. And yeah, I've had them on my tongue or on my on my lower jaw, but it absolutely hurts.

SPEAKER_00:

So by the time I eventually, you know, I was starting to eat on the other side of my mouth, I was starting to avoid anything acidic. Um it was really it was starting to affect my speech. Really, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So how long is this process from the time you go to your general doctor and your steroid cream and you're treating it as though it is something benign, if you will. I think you go to someone special.

SPEAKER_00:

I remember noticing it becoming worse the summer of 2021. Um I went to my doctor in September, and by end of November is when it was really starting to affect my life. Um, so by I went to a gentle early December, and they said, okay, they literally locked me up to the oral surgeon and settled me a biopsy. Really? Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

So did you feel a little bit relieved like someone's taking me seriously? This is nice. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. So they also I knew at that point. Like it was, I mean, they prescribed me, I mean, I was on rocks of abdol and tyrol. At that point, they should prescribe me something called magic mouthwash.

SPEAKER_01:

Magic mouthwash, okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, which I numbed it for about half an hour, which made it easier to eat. Um, but by Christmas time, I had a cancer diagnosis. It was a weekly Christmas and New Year's, 2021. Okay. So by the beginning of the year, 2022, it was so painful I wasn't speaking. I was obsessed with my family. I saw I pulled back from working at the time. I was on a lot, I was starting to take pain meditation. Okay. Um, yeah. And they kept passing me up up the chain of specialists. So by the time I landed with my sweet machine, my surgery was scheduled for March.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so that take took a little bit longer than I would like to think it should take.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

From your diagnosis to l landing with the appropriate treatment team.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. To Well I landed with them January, early February, and scheduled for behavior of March. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, but in the meantime, you are in a tremendous amount of pain.

SPEAKER_00:

Tremendous amount of pain. And enough speed. So I remember I remember waking up in the middle of the night and I had had really good notes because I was like, okay, what can I take right now? So I and oh, and I had a feeding tube and so then. Um Because you'd stopped eating. Because I wasn't eating enough she maybe I don't blame you. Yeah. Like hydration need hydration levels as well as food. So I was dropping my really big fruit. So I had a feeding soup. So I had liquid, I had liquid panel, liquid anvil, and liquid swamp can't. So I I had a money tab, um, I should say this one every four hours, this one every six.

SPEAKER_01:

So, yeah. I oh my gosh, you poor thing. I am not so tongue cancer is not one that we hear a ton about. I imagine you learned quite a bit about it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Um, so I mean, obviously there are certain um lifestyle sources I can contribute to it. Um, smoking, drinking alcohol, chewing tobacco. I had done none of that. Never was a smoker. Um I was a social drinker like most of us. Um, but mine was a logical progression of the white passage on my tongue. Um autoimmune physician right in plain. Okay. Um, so those developed into cancer occasionally. Um, some cancer or um back and throat cancer can also be HPV connected, but mine was not HPV connected.

SPEAKER_01:

So that I know because my significant other a few years ago had um tonsil cancer, and it was that. HP cancer. And yeah, and um they told the doctors told us at the time that they are finding far more HPV-related throat and mouth cancers in men than they are uterus-wise in women. Wow. Um that they're finding more in men in the throat and tonsils in the back of the throat and then and I was very surprised to hear that. But at the time, you know, like I I was like, do do I work how how do we get checked for these things? I mean, I don't even it was a whole new realm of thought process for me. But they also did say that the HPV related throat and and tongue cancers are have a better survival rate and are easily treat more easily treated than if it was not HPV related. So he was treated and in remission in less than nine months. So it was a good outcome. So how has your treatment and outcome been?

SPEAKER_00:

Good. Um mine was it was a shade for shummer. Wow. Because of the size and invasiveness of it. Um so they removed over half of my tongue. Wow. And rebuilt it with a shave wrap on my forearm.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. Um and they also medicine is amazing to me.

SPEAKER_01:

Medicine and science are amazing. Amazing.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, and they did a full dissection and removed lymphs, all of which was cancer-free. But because I didn't get flu emerges from my tumor removal, um, I did six weeks of daily radiation and chemotherapy.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. How have you been recovery-wise through that process?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, right, it's been three years, so happy about that. Um, I I always say the whole cancer treatment is like you have food. Like you kind of like, you're in this bubble where everything outside of that moves on along as it is, but you're not moving with it. You're just kind of there. Um and I found the most difficult part for me was coming back with the voice I have. Um my favorite things in life are talking and Ian.

SPEAKER_01:

I've you're like, why? Why? Why make me change the two things that I love the most?

SPEAKER_00:

I love the most. And so like essentially line ten months of not being able really able to eat and my speech being affected, you know, I mean I I still have eating struggles, obviously, and I still have my voice, but I'm not the kind of person, so stay home and be quiet. I I still go on social jailings and stuff because I love it.

SPEAKER_01:

So what has the learning curve been like for you in terms of speaking? I mean, having half of your tongue removed and having a dissection in your in your throat and your lymph nodes. Obviously, there's there's a bit of relearning to do there. What has that been like for you?

SPEAKER_00:

The aim part was part of the speech.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

It was it was like this pretty much from the beginning. Okay. Um, I did those with speech therapists, but it was more for the swallowing muscles.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Because I had to relearn how to swallow and build up the strength of the muscles in that area. Okay. Um, because I hadn't used them, and because I I can't move things around with my tongue like I used to be able to. So I have to eat and be very careful of not choking. Um so that was the biggest learning trip with that. And it still is, because I still um talk too fast.

SPEAKER_01:

I have always talked to, I've always talked and I've always spoken too fast. I've always talking too fast has always been the criticism that I received in anything I did. When I was first working in television, it was slow down, Danielle, slow down. And I just, you know, I think fast, I talk fast.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And I usually when I speak somewhere, I always say, remind me of a hit is second, and I want to say it all out fast. So I always tell people, if you miss something I said, I'm happy to repeat myself. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, that's good. How has everyone been around you? Did your family and loved ones all just take good care of you?

SPEAKER_00:

And yeah, I am very blessed with a swab support system. My husband was there for me. Um, our son, he's a freshman college right now. At the time, he was a nice babe. Um, so he was, you know, we my mom came and shaved with us, my dad came to child and shade with us. So um I have family support in keeping his life as normal as possible. Right. Um, friends that would take him to swim practice and all of that.

SPEAKER_01:

So, how much of this lived experience informs your life drafting philosophy? Because you have a book coming out in October. Yeah. I think the date is tentatively the beginning of October. Yeah. But you have uh a life drafting philosophy that I want to talk about. How much of this lived experience you have informs life drafting?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh 100% of it. Okay, so let's talk about it. Um I've always I always say I've always thought it should be someone who wrote a book on growth and mindset and all of that. Years and years I've wanted to do it. But this experience um solidified it a little bit more for me. And I came with life traffic because nothing is ever perfect. You can't ever plan, you know, everything should she. I mean, but we try though, don't we?

SPEAKER_01:

We do try. We definitely try. We we plan for the we plan for our pregnancies and our weddings and our perfect house and our vacations and yes and jobs. And I I mean I can't tell you how many times I've I've told my kids like it it's okay. If this is the plath path you're planning for, if you if you diverge or if you change your mind later, that's okay. Yeah, I've changed career paths. Uh and there are a few threads that have continued to run through what I do throughout the course of my life. But I've changed officially many times. Change as much as you want.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, a hundred percent. And that is what I I mean I I coach teens and young adults. I do college admissions coaching.

SPEAKER_01:

Um college admissions, okay.

SPEAKER_00:

But also post adults. So I coach everything. I'm building a community for MPS moms because I need community right now. But the biggest thing I want to say across to all of my audiences is that it doesn't have to be a perfect plan. You know, yes, plan, but always be open for reassessing. Always be open for editing, crossing things off, moving them around, starting from scratch and starting over. I like to call it um keep everything as a sloppy copy. A sloppy copy, okay. Yeah, because I do believe in planning, but in pencil, right? Because you can never know for any amount of certainty what's coming down the road. That's true. And we asked his from such an early age, what do you want to be when you grow up, right? And I want to take the pressure off of them when you're 17 and everyone saying, What are you gonna measure in? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? They don't have to know. Do I believe that they should do that self-explanation and look at possibilities a hundred percent? That's why I have the book, but be open to it chasing. Be open to you chasing, um, because you're not going to be the same person you are at 17 as you will at 24, as you will at 36, etc. And I I do this type of self-analysis every year. So it is not a once in time and presented, it is a constant evolution.

SPEAKER_01:

So when do you do your own self-analysis?

SPEAKER_00:

I so I do like November, December every year. Okay. Um, with the new year coming up as the, you know, suggestive. Um I have always done my whole year, but every year I get to about this point of the year and say, wait a second, this is not where I thought I would be. So I I feel like I want to do more of a hoy. Okay. Like that naughty J, Hungry J, sweet spot, because Okay. You know, you could have some maybe fuzzier, you know, longer range, but I hate, you know, because you can't know what's coming around the bed.

SPEAKER_01:

Is that self-assessment personal, professional, a combination of the two? All of it.

SPEAKER_00:

So I I do four life buckets, that's all of them. Okay. I like that. Um, one of them is health. House, okay. Health, e-a. Health. Okay. So health, sorry, okay. Oh, that's okay. Um, assessing your physical, emotional, spiritual health, okay, your satisfaction in that, what's so in well, what we might like to change. Okay. Assessment is connection. So your family, your friends, what's so in well, what would you like to see different? Um, contribution, versus your work, what you're putting into the world, how you're contributing to your household, to your community. Um and the fourth is play. How are you incorporating joy in your life? So I take those four. And you know, from there we I mean, I usually do a couple more steps, but that is what I always start with.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that because you didn't say home, work, like like you allow contribution to be a mix of all of that. Like, where am I contributing in the world? How am I contributing via work? How am I contributing to my home? How am I contributing to what my kids are doing? And then you're making sure to say there has to be play in our life somewhere. And oh, I really like that. Like, what am I doing for myself health-wise? And you're incorporating physical and mental and spiritual. Oh, I really like those four buckets. I'm a huge fan. Yeah. Is this incorporated in the life drafting book? What is the title of the book? It is um draft you. Draft You, okay, like draft university.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Um a life drafting journal. So it's actually a six-month journal workbook. Okay. Where I introduce a topic every week and you have uh daily journal prompts or activities for a introspection.

SPEAKER_01:

Now, I know you do a lot of work with teens and with younger people. Is the book for everyone? Or is it geared primarily for the younger heading to college?

SPEAKER_00:

The um the voice of it is Zephyr's ears who is um 18 to 25. I 17 if I'm sure. Okay. Um, 17 to 24, 25 is a sweet spot. Okay. I will my plan is to do a follow-up.

SPEAKER_01:

That was my next question.

SPEAKER_00:

Um my plan is to do a follow-up. That will be yours towards grown-up in in transition. I I love the concept of people that are in a space between no longer and not yet. So that how do you manage that transition of your life? And live in schools to figure out where you are and set where you want to go.

SPEAKER_01:

That's fantastic. So professionally, do you work primarily? I mean, I know you mentioned some adults and then college admissions. The bulk of your work is where?

SPEAKER_00:

It's about 50-50 right now. Um, bulk of it is probably um college admissions. Um but I would like to lean more into the holistic um life hosting piece of that age group. Okay. Um, and bring it into colleges. Um, I have a hosting membership for adults that I call the draft lab. Okay. That um that I have a lot of member benefits that um and then my higher level of that coaching membership has one of one coaching. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That's amazing. How long have you been doing that?

SPEAKER_00:

Um about four years, yeah. Okay. That's yeah. So I started four years ago, had time off for cancer. So again for speed, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

How much would you say that that process or that version of you change before cancer, after cancer? So I know I know that the draft, you know, the life drafting is informed by that experience. What did the 1.0 version of you learn to carry into 2.0 Candace?

SPEAKER_00:

It is I've always been a life transition coach. That is what I've like when I started my business in 2021, that is what it was you. At that point I thought I had been through a lot. You know, career transition, moving, like moving from state to state. Um, but this one, this answer, and still going out and speaking and doing my thing with this voice, just jeep in it. I don't know how else to describe it other than having a stronger ownership of what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01:

I it feels very much uh I don't ever say everything happens for a reason. I do think I do think that what happens to us, it's on us to decide what to do with it. 100%. And so I would never say this happened to you so that you could, but I can see what you're doing with it. Yeah. Right? I can see that you had a choice to say, well, this just robbed me of my voice. Like I I had a career that was based entirely on me having a voice. I don't feel like I have a voice anymore. And instead you said, no, wait a second. This builds into what it looks like to change and evolve and to cocoon and to come out stronger. And therefore, here I am. Right now, and uh and I think what's powerful about what you're doing is uh one of the reasons that I want to do this podcast is because I believe that that level of hope can meet people exactly where they are, depending on what they're going through at any given time, because we do have the choice. We do have the choice to stay in the cocoon. We have the choice to say, I can't get up. I can't. It really and truly feels like I cannot get up. And my hope is that there's someone listening right now who says, Well, if Candace can get up, and she can smile and laugh through this, and she can be as bright and as vibrant and as beautiful and and find a purpose in a greater purpose in what she was already doing and make it bigger and better and stronger, then you know what, maybe I can too. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And uh, you know, and to want for me to want to be a speaker, and you know, because that is my sensitive vision for what I want to do. I want to write my books and I want to talk about them and coach people. Um and for me to do that and to want to get on a stage and talk to people with this voice, I think is can be powerful.

SPEAKER_01:

Why do you say tentative?

SPEAKER_00:

As usual, right? Because we are all working progress, right? We're always laugh. Um, yeah. Well no, I I appreciate that. And some his either piss off at the person behind house of lamb or the coffee who can't understand me.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's okay, right? No, I I I think that what you're saying right there is incredibly powerful. Just because we have chosen to do something strong and powerful with the experiences we've had, because we are choosing a strong route, doesn't mean it isn't hard. It doesn't mean we don't ever have moments where we're not really pissed off about it. And it doesn't mean that we don't have moments where we're brought to our knees by it. And that's okay too, because that's part of the process. How do you define hope?

SPEAKER_00:

I define hope as not a hope that everything will be okay, but a hope that I will be able to handle what comes. Because I I I do optimism research because I love the idea of optimism, but it's not also shiny verses and But it it's an optimism that I will be able to deal with it. It'll be easy, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I I completely agree with you. And that to me is acceptance and it's the the notion of surrender to a degree, right? It's rather than trying to control the situation, it's recognizing that I can't control the situation. I can control me, and what I need is the strength and the resilience and the know-how and the belief in myself to get through whatever comes my way. And I I like I like that definition of hope. I mean, that's it's one of the questions I typically ask everyone because our hope is one of those words, uh, and I'm a word nerd that doesn't have just one definition, right? And to everyone, it means something a little bit different. But the idea behind this podcast is that everyone has a story of hope that can inspire someone else depending on where they are in their 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 journey. So where can people find you?

SPEAKER_00:

Um life traffic.com.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Life traffic.

SPEAKER_00:

Um and that on social media also. Um awesome vloghotion on Instagram, awesome vloghotion on Facebook, or me personally on Facebook. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That's fantastic. I am so grateful to you for taking time. Your story is truly inspiring. Is there anything I didn't ask you that you would like to share? I don't think so. I feel like I shared what I what I wanted to share. I really appreciate you being here with me and and taking time. And I am inspired by the work that you're doing and the fact that you are not tentatively using your voice, that you are truly using your voice. And I am confident that I'll be able to be in the audience sometime when you're speaking.

SPEAKER_00:

Ah, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01:

You're very welcome. Thank you for being here with me. Thanks for having me. And friends, thank you for joining us on another episode of Hope Comes to Visit. I'm Danielle Elliott Smith. I so hope that you have found the same inspiration and light in Candace's story that I have, and that you will turn around and share it with someone you know needs to have that same inspiration, light, wisdom, and heart and strength. And you will come back and visit us again, that you will share and that you will comment and you will like and you will do all the good things that hope needs to have in our world. And until I see you again, please take good care of you. Thank you for being here. Naturally, it's important to thank the people who support and sponsor the podcast. This episode is supported by Chris Dulley, a trusted criminal defense attorney and friend of mine here in St. Louis, who believes in second chances and solid representation. Whether you're facing a DWI, felony, or traffic issue, Chris handles your case personally with clarity, compassion, and over 15 years of experience. When things feel uncertain, it helps to have someone steady in your corner. Call 314 384 4000 or 314 DUI Help, or you can visit DulyLawfirm.com to schedule your free consultation.