Episode 42: Wrestling with God | Leading a Bible Study, Starting College, and Writing Books

Sarah Vessely is back on the podcast to share some life updates that are only because of God. 

Sarah stepped up to lead the Bible study that Stephanie had started - and she’s learning about preparation & obedience being more important than perfection. 

After taking a couple of gap years, Sarah is embarking on a new adventure this fall. Though at first she was tempted to compare herself to others - feeling like they are “ahead,” she can now see that God has her right where she needs to be.

And a new book is in the works! The writing process is often difficult, but with accountability and God’s guidance, something beautiful can be brought forth.

Thank you for tuning in to the only God podcast - sharing stories only God could write.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey friends, it's Stephanie here with the Only God Podcast sharing stories only God Could Write. And today I have back on Sarah Vesley. Hey Sarah. Hi. Great to have you on. Uh, we talked back in February 2026, and uh I wanted to have you back on just because I was re-listening to that episode, and I really felt like, man, God has done some really cool things in your life. And uh it's let's get an update where we're at and just kind of keep that story going. So thank you for joining me. The first area that I wanted to talk about was, you know, here we are in the summer again. And last time you and I were talking about this Bible study. So, you know, you'd come to me, you'd been serving, surveying your college friends. I started a Bible study in my home last summer, 2025. And then I'm in the middle of a move, and honestly thought I would have already been moved by now, um, and am not. But I want you to share of just like kind of how like where you've taken it, what God laid on your heart, like all of that.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Yeah, so a few months ago, I texted you and I was like, hey, I know you're super busy right now with like your move and all the amazing stuff that you do. And so I was like, if you want me to host the Bible study, I would love to. And I was like, she's probably gonna say no. And then she was like, Yes, please, and I was like, okay. And then I was like, oh my gosh, I actually have to do this now. Like I was like, this is a real thing. Which you made it so easy and simple to do the Bible study last year because I didn't see all the preparation work for it. I was like, you just show up at 8 a.m., read the Bible, answer questions, and then leave. I didn't see all the typing out all the papers and printing them out and hosting the conversation that could change someone's life. So I was like, okay. So then I just started, I was doing it week by week. And it was kind of crazy because I would have the week done on like Monday, and we would meet on Thursday mornings, and then Wednesday night, this idea would come to me and it was like, scratch what you had for the past four days, this is what you're talking about, and I was like, okay. So then Thursday would come and I would be like, I have to like know what I'm talking about now because I had the the other thing planned for so long. So it's kind of funny how the Lord moves in that way because it's like you're prepared for something, and it's like, nope, you're not gonna do that. Cause I think what I was writing down was what I wanted to talk about, and then what he put on my heart was like what he wanted me to talk about. So it's like, okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

I love that you got that. First of all, a couple of things I want to point on is one, you took the initiative, and I was thinking about this in the realm of like what does leadership look like? And a lot of times we think leadership looks like, oh, you have to have a title, you have to have a certain position, you have to be a certain age or whatever. And it's like, no, leadership is seeing a gap or seeing like a potential opportunity or seeing where somebody else, I think women are so bad at this. We see, oh, I could come help this woman. But like you said, you'd even started in your mind of like, no, like just I would say the last episode I talked about the devil quipping at us. But then also it would have been very easy for me to go, nope, I'm still here, Sarah. I'll just do it. When really I did not have the time to commit to, like you talked about, that preparation, which people don't see. So it's one thing to have people show up at eight o'clock for an hour. It wasn't like you girls were here for four hours. It was like, no, you were here for an hour. But it was that prep. So first of all, I just want to say thank you for being obedient in that. Um, and like, let's talk about that a little bit. Like, did you have any fear? Did you have any anything as it relates to like even just coming and asking me of like, oh, like maybe this is her thing when it really isn't. I mean, you know, I think we hold on to things tightly and we take ownership of stuff, but I didn't see it as that. I really saw this as of one, you had brought it to me in the year before.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Yeah, I think for me, since you're my mentor, I was like, how do I mentor other people? Because I was like, since I've learned from you, and I was like, okay, she has so much wisdom and she knows the Bible front and back, and I'm still like learning it. And that was my biggest fear, I think, was like thinking a verse meant something when it actually means something else. Because if I say this verse, I think it means this, and everyone here is like, what? I'd be like, okay. And I just think it was that mentorship, because it's like you have come uh, I think like three times, and it's like, okay, how can I like mentor my my mentor? Because it was like since you're there and since you've taught me so much, I was like, okay, this is it's scary because you've taught me so much. And I think reaching out to you, I was kind of scared because I did think that it was your thing, and I was like, I don't want to take it away from her, but I want to take it off her chest, you know? So I was like, I don't want her to stress about it. So if I can help her in any way, I will, but I was also a little scared to reach out to you.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

Well, I love that you just walked in obedience, you know, and we sometimes we do think it's like, okay, God, I think you're calling me to do this, or I think you're asking me to step up. And then we don't do it because it's fear of like it might not be the right thing, or somebody might be offended, um, which that's the spirit of offense. Like that's a lot of times on them and not on you. But then if it was, if it wasn't from God and I said, no, I think I've got this, or let's partner, or whatever, then it's like at least you know you took your step of faith. Um, and then, you know, God's gonna work everything out. I think the other thing, too, that you talked about is there's so much that I don't know about the Bible. I feel like we're all right here, you know, and God's like, you know, the Bible and the understanding, and we can't even come to uh understand all of it. And it's still le living and breathing. And I do think that's another trap of the devil is like, oh, okay, I can't do something because I don't know as much as somebody else. But I always think, and and I I have that same fear, you know, like I don't even want to talk about the Bible because I'm not qualified to do so. But I think if we're in the word of God and we're praying, and I just want to say, like, we're doing the best that we can. Like, God knows our heart, God knows where we felt led. Um, and there can be correction there. We can, oh, like now I've learned that. You know what I mean? But it's like you have to again go back and step out in faith and go, well, it's better me speaking and try to mentor and get other people in the word of God and let's learn and have a discussion versus doing nothing because you're scared to step into that. So that's cool. I love that you've carried that on this summer. And so I just wanted to give an update to the listener because it doesn't matter your age, it doesn't matter your knowledge, step out in faith. And you guys have been gathering. I know I have been able to come to some, um, but you guys have still been gathering, and my guest is having great conversations and growing in your relationship as women in Christ. Do you want to talk a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Yeah, I think what's really cool too is this year there's a little bit of like a smaller group. And for me at least, I I feel more comfortable sharing things when it's not like a ton of people, just like a few people, and they pray over you and they talk to you about it, and it's so sweet because every week you don't know like what happened between each Thursday. They could have done something crazy, they could have just whatever happened, but then they they come each week and they'll share it, and it's just like a sisterhood, and it's like we all know that following Jesus isn't easy, but we're all trying to do it the best we can because it's hard. And I think people on social media make it look so easy to follow Jesus and how they only share like the highlight reels, but they don't share when they're don't feel like praying, and so that's what we talk about a lot is social media because our generation is very much social media, like yeah, I don't know, like our screen times are always high and all that stuff, yeah, addicted, yeah, and like comparison's really high now too, and so it's like talking with other people who understand that and won't judge you for it is like a safe space because I I think sometimes when you know that they're not all gonna be Christians, you're kind of scared for the judgment and the shame. But no one here gives that to each other, which is really sweet.

unknown 8:44

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Well, I love that too, and I love that you mentioned size because I think a lot of times too is we think, oh, to lead something or to make an impact, there has to be a lot of people. And we saw last year, I mean, it was anywhere from like three to ten or something like that. But even if yours is two people or three people, it's like you guys, you know, if you look at the Bible, you know, the Lord only had 12 disciples, um, and they went out and did, you know, preached and spread the gospel. And uh we're talking about it here today because of what they did. So I think don't get caught up in the numbers or don't be disappointed if you feel like the Lord's calling you to do a Bible study or a book club or something like that that's faith-based, and one person shows up. And it might be what that one person need, and you're gonna make an impact to them and their family. So I love that.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Okay, let's pivot a little bit because last time we talked it. Your friends are getting ready to start their junior year of college. Um, and you have not gone to college yet. So, do you want to talk a little bit about how like only God has been leading you on this path from not going to college to kind of where you're at now and what you're doing?

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Yeah. So I think last time we talked was in February, which I was like on the fence about college still kind of, like I wasn't sure because I felt like the Lord was pulling me to like keep speaking and stuff and like keep writing books, and then I realized I can do that and go to college at the same time. I don't have to choose like one or the other, and so that was a big wrestle too, because I didn't want to make the wrong choice, but you can't make the wrong choice when God is writing your path for you. You just can't make the wrong choice. So I decided to go to college, and I'm gonna study in history and major in history to be a teacher because I always love teaching and teaching others, and I think that's the through line, kind of is no matter if it's teaching people about like history or about Jesus or about whatever, I love teaching. So I think I found my calling in multi like many ways, which is really cool.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

I love that, and I like what you said too, is like even if we do make the wrong decision, you know, God's got if we are tethered to God in in in listening to him and have that relationship with him, is he's gonna steer us back on course, on the path that he had us, you know. And I I do always think some like that'll be a great thing when we get to heaven and go, okay, God, where did I make a wrong turn? That's one of my big things I always think about is like how many wrong turns did we make, or were they wrong turns, and that's where God was steering us? I don't know, it's it's something to think about. Yeah, so talk about a little bit just on that. Do you have any fear or what are you thinking about college? Because you know, I've always looked at you're kind of ahead of everybody because you've been having this kind of little career of speaking and writing, and uh you've started editing uh some books for me under my publishing company. And so do you want to talk a little bit about that? Of do you feel behind, or do you feel like no, God only God has me right where I'm supposed to be?

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Yeah, I think at first I didn't want to go because I felt so behind, and I was like, that's the enemy talking. He wants to make you feel so small, so you can't do like the big things that God has for you. Yeah, and so I was like praying about it, and then I went to the admitted student day, I think is what it was called, and there were so many different people, so many different ages, and I was like, okay, I'll be fine. Because I always thought that it would just be 3,000, like 17-year-olds, and then me who's like 20, and I was like a little bit awkward. And then I started like praying about it, and my biggest fear was my roommate because even though like 17 and 20 are only three years apart, that's like a big age gap, I feel like. It can be, yeah. And so I was praying for a roommate, and then I found one, and she's turning 20 this year, so I was like, okay, perfect. So we'll be like the same age and stuff, which is really sweet. But I just think I think most Christians don't like to wrestle out with God, but I think you need to, because it's just like the human nature to not think someone else is right. So you just like battle it back and forth, and then I think he just shows you like you'll be fine, and then just kind of go from there, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

No, I love that, and it reminds me, I this has always stuck with me. Uh, conversation I had with Mike Bellini, which, if you if you guys haven't listened to the podcast episode, go search for that with Mike Bellini. And Mike talked, he and I had a phone call one day, and he was talking about like wrestling with the devil, you know, and like you talked about is like the devil didn't even want you to show up. The devil told you this lie that, oh, all 3,000 of those people are gonna be young and you don't fit there and everything. And I feel like so many people don't even take that first step to just like show up and see instead of believing the lie. And Mike was like, I realize this don't wrestle with the devil, wrestle with God. Like he already knows your heart, he knows what you're thinking, you know, and it's just like, okay, and he he can take it. He's God and go wrestle with him and have that conversation. And then that's how we build that relationship with him and we grow deeper with him, and we grow our trust and belief and our faith in, oh, he's leading us down the right path. So, and it's only God that could bring you a roommate that is like your same age and took that fear, and it's like, it's okay. I know you were scared about this. Don't be worried. I got you covered. Yeah. So I'm so excited. We can't wait to hear about your journey in college and what you do there and and how God is going to use you in college. The last thing I want to talk about is you've been on this journey. Last time you we you had gotten your second book done, Whirlwind, which is, I love it. It's such a sweet book. And you had started working on a third book, and you've probably been sick of me like checking in on you of uh, like, hey, what's going on with this book? Where are you at? And so I I want you to talk about that book because I think that book's uh on a different level when it comes to like only God and what God's led you to uh do with that book, and it is so different from your b first book, Jesus, it's it's you, um, and your second book were a win.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Yeah, I think, well, first of all, every time you would check in, I felt like I was like letting you down in a way, so I'd be like, still haven't written much yet. And I was like, still haven't done much, still haven't looked at it in a couple weeks. But then I think it's so different too because it's like story of my childhood and it's like like childlike faith. And I think this book for me, writing it has brought me back to that. In my first book, I was trying to write to like preach and be so like good, you know. And this one's like, no, like I struggle too. This is me too. And so I think just writing it has been such like a journey with God, too, because it's been maybe almost two years. Yeah, it's been a little while that you've been working on it. Um, yeah, because I think two summers ago I read you the first day that I wrote for it, and so I was writing them all, and I was gonna do a 40-day thing. And so I got to 38 days, and I was like, this is a lot of writing, because I was like, this is so much. And I think once you get so close to finishing, you don't want to finish it. You know, because you're just like burnt out kind of and you just don't want to write anymore because you can't think of anything. And I think this book, I challenged myself to sit down and write, and I'd be like, this is not good. Like, nobody would want to read this because I was forcing myself to write it, and I realized I hadn't prayed about it. I was just writing it for me to finish. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna delete all of this, and then for the past three days, and then just pray about it. And then day by day, I would think of a story or think of a memory, and I'd be like, Okay, I'm gonna use that for day 42 or whatever. And then you texted me one day, and you're like, hey, what if you make 52 and do it like a whole year for each week? And I was like, that's a pretty good idea. And so I started writing it like that, and I think that way too, like some devotionals that I read is too much for every single day. It's like a lot that you're throwing at me. So I think a week it's like you can like read it on a Thursday if you want to, and then go back to it the next Thursday. And so I think writing this book too has deepened my relationship with God because I've had to trust him way more than I did for my first book. Because my first book, I'm like, this is so fun, oh my gosh. And for this one, I'm like, this is real stuff. And also I think my age range is different for this book. It's more like college and postgrad and not like teenagers and high schoolers. So I think that was different. But it's finished now, so I'm happy about that.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

I know, yeah. I got your text yesterday. Devotional done. I wanted you to talk about that because yeah, this was such a different process, and you knew that God was calling you to write this book, but there is this balance whenever we are called to do something, is what is resistance from the devil? Of like, God has called me to do something, and as soon as we know what that is, then it's like you just start getting slammed. But also, like you said, is this I think it's good to have an accountability. Like I knew you were working on it and check-in, and it wasn't to like force you to just get it done, but I do think it's easy when we sit in a world by ourselves, is you never finish anything because that you don't have that accountability. And it is that balance to understand of what God is leading me to do. So, like you said, is when you prayed, it's like the Lord will bring up stories and ideas and scripture and everything, but then like writing to just write. And so it really is a balance of like walking with God to say, what is from you? What am I supposed to be here? But then also not just like totally giving up and quit because it's hard and understanding the difference between hard and and so I leave and love those days where you wrote when you didn't want to write because even that bad writing, it got you to really understanding. You had that aha moment of like, oh wait, I wasn't walking with God in this, I was still walking, and then you get to see the difference of what it looks like when you're walking in your calling with what God's calling you to do. Yeah. Well, we talked about a couple of things today, and I want to wrap up, but before I do, anything I missed or any only God stories within those three things and what God's doing in your life that you want to share.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

I think the devotional as a whole is like only God. I do too. Seeing it from the outside. Yes, because I think also I would write stuff and then in my head, be like, this is terrible. And then I would come bring it to you, and you're like, this is awesome. And I was like, okay, somebody else needs to read it. Because I'm gonna think, I think as humans, we think we could always be better. So bringing it to someone else and them saying this is good, it was so validating almost. Like, okay, I'm doing something good. So that was really nice.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

No, I love that you added that, and I'll I'll end here is I think a couple of things is one, whenever you're working on something that God has called you to do, is be careful who that person is, you know, of make sure it's somebody that you trust, make sure it's somebody that is aligned with God and understands that, you know, people are gonna go after big things and don't be the person that poo-poos it. Let God stop whatever a person's working on if it isn't from God. Um, but I think too is you know, of having the courage to share something with somebody. But if you're on the other receiving side, is take that seriously and be thoughtful. And I know in the last conversation, like when you were working on speaking, is in the beginning, I had a lot of critiques for you, you know, but you also knew that my critiques are coming from a good place and a good heart, and know that it's like, so then you can trust what I say of like, oh, she doesn't always just give me like, oh, this is great. It's perfect, you know? It's like, no, you have to have somebody that you trust to go, okay, they're gonna give me good feedback. I trust their feedback, and then at the end of the day, I'm gonna have to go do what God called me to do and sit and pray on it. Do you, as we're wrapping up, because you know, this will air way beyond when the book's out, do you have a title for the book yet?

SPEAKER_00 21:10

Um, I'm working on one. I'm thinking of it called like Holy Home, which is like an idea I've always had. So it's like 52 weeks of just like walking with Jesus, I think. But I'm still working on it.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

Still wrestling with that. I love it. Well, Sarah, thank you for joining us or joining me on the Only God podcast, sharing stories only God could write. Hey friends, thank you for joining me today on the Only God podcast. I hope today's story encouraged your faith and reminded you that God is still writing our stories each and every day. If you were inspired by this episode, please share, subscribe, and tell a friend. And to stay connected with me and find out about all my resources and eventsforward creative.com. Have a fabulous day.