Girl Dad

On this weeks episode, Marcus Mcneish sits in for Shean’s Dad as the pair discuss Marcus’s journey and lessons being a “Girl Dad”. Marcus opens up about his childhood and talks about his experiences shaped his intentions as a father. They both discuss and explore the cultural identity of fatherhood, their personal views on its impact and influence, and their relentless desire to not blame but understand, improve and model better. They discuss their hopes for the future and beyond, and a whole lot of laughs in between.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Hello everybody and welcome to Young Fox Podcast with Mitch and Williams and today's guest, Mr. Marcus McNey. We hope that everybody's had an amazing week. As you can see, my dad he's still away, but I'm loving it because obviously last week I was on my lone stone, like a bit of a loner, and then this week I managed to drag one of my boys in to come and hang out on the sofa with me. Um very quickly, let me get the formalities out of the way. Please like, subscribe, share at Yo PopsPody on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. Guys, engagement. Hey, listen, I need more engagement. Yeah? Thank you. So stop being stosh because we can see or not. Actually, let me come out of Pat one. Please help. I can see that you're all watching. So please get involved. Um, also, you know, with our Patreon uh and our PayPal guys, if you want to donate, um subscribe, help us to keep pushing what we're doing far and wide, then we we always appreciate it. Um, and and we love you lots. So we're gonna jump into it very, very quickly. Um, Marks, how are you? I'm good, thank you. How's your morning been?

unknown 1:25

Good.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

You enjoyed the train right down, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Yeah, quiet, quiet, chilled, scenic. I didn't see any of it. I played Zelda entire wait. 48 minutes of just bliss. Of bliss playing my Nintendo. That's what I was.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

And I've been trying to get you down here for a well, I'm trying to get him to move, just um, but these little trips slowly. I'm I'm getting him to kind of be like, Yeah, I might do it, I might do it, I might do it. So you looked happy when I picked you up. That was what I'm saying. Man was smiling. Marx has got one of them smiles. If he's smiling, everything's good. Um, now you're actually gonna help me with a very cool topic today. Absolutely. Um Marx and I know each other because we we play together musically um and within the music industry, um, and we have toured together for about six years now. So it might actually be like yeah, yeah, it's true. Yeah, and Marx is my guy, so like if you ever want to know how crazy I am, I will never tell. He'd never tell. He's like the person that you'd want to kind of get to to find out. Um, but he's an amazing friend, and time is the proof of all things, and it's only proved him to be more than what I ever thought. So um I actually never said this to you before. I appreciate your friendship beyond words. Oh, thank you so much. Same honestly, just um enough of that soft stuff. He's an amazing father, um, amazing production manager, amazing musician, um, amazing coach and mentor, and just obviously friend. But I want to talk to him about being a dad, and more than that, he's a girl dad. Um, and his daughters are amazing, they are absolutely amazing. They are um, and I love watching you with them because I can see just your hands-on, you're right there needing the know and and and bringing out the the personality traits and everything, and you're amazing in how you are. So there's a couple of questions that I want to ask. Um, because I also I think, especially within our community as well, Marcus, we're very macho, and I think we've been also taught toxic cultural traits of masculinity, yeah. Um, that some were kind of rooted in the absence of what we needed but never had, and so we kind of pretend like, oh no, that didn't hurt me. It's just like well, it did, because when I want it looking, man is while in the corner. Um, and just from the conversations that we've had on different continents, different time zones, um, I realise we have similar views, but you're ahead of the curve than me. It's like we what? Mans is married, you gotta catch up, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

You gotta catch up.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Um I do, I've got to get to some point. Um, what kind of dad did you always want to be? Or what kind of dad did you want to be when you first found out that you were gonna be having?

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Um, put simply, present. I just went to be present. Any reason? Um I grew up with my mum. Got you. My dad was he what's the best best term to put it? Available. Okay. So if I called him, he'd make contact, we'd speak on the phone. But it was very much me and my mum. Me and my mum. Um and as much as I love my dad, no disrespect to my dad at all. Yeah, um there was a lot of time spent alone, a lot of time waiting, and a lot of uh failed expectations. A lot of times I was like, oh yeah, I'm gonna see you at this time, I'm gonna pick you up at 10. And I'd be sitting, sitting by the window, looking at the window for the car to come from 10 till 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8 o'clock will come. It'd be like, yeah, phone call and say, Yeah, I'll pick you up tomorrow. And I'll be like, oh, but I've been at this window. Yeah, I've been waiting the entire day, literally on the windowsill, looking out the window, waiting for this car to come and meet like all the stuff. So the moment I found out I was gonna be a parent, it's very much immediately that was the first thing. That was the first thing that came to mind was that I never want them to feel like I never wanted to let them down. That was the most important thing. I never want to let my girls down. I never want them to feel like I've said something, I never have not followed through, I've never met that, and that's been the value that we've held all the way now, like all to now, like my oldest being 11. Like if I've said yes, it's a yes. If I said no, it's a no. If I said maybe, then maybe you can coax me and like maybe maybe get me to do it, but I haven't promised you anything, I can live with that, yeah. And they've learned to accept that okay. If if that hasn't said an absolute yes, then let's just chill out.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Do you think that's why you place such high emphasis, high emphasis on consistency?

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Um you never not turn up, Marcus. When you say when you commit to something, yeah, you're never not there.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

Yeah, I mean there's a few occasions where I haven't, but there's always been a a valid, validish reason why. But it's very rare, extremely rare, like one in a hundred times will I not turn up or cancel cancel a plan or something. But yeah, very much so that was a huge influence of why I wanted to be consistent. Um but it was double-sided, it was it was I didn't want people to feel let down the way I grew up feeling let down by things. But also I learned how to value consistency in work and how much you can yield by being consistent. And I learned that quite young. And it's the the strange thing is the same, my dad being a person that let me down so much in that regard, was the same person that taught me consistency in discipline and work and hard work and all the other things. So it was it was one of the things that to this day I was always been can always been confused about because you could teach me, you taught me one of the greatest lessons I've that I hold value to now, but never lived it in our in our relationship. It never played out in our relationship. So that that was a it's a it's a strange one.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

So do you know I want to just very quickly touch on that. I know you you have a great relationship with your father, um, and I remember when we were uh touring Oh, the beginning of this year. I had to think about that. Yeah. It's been a long year. Brother, um I remember you you were talking to me about a particular situation that you were helping to counsel on, and um you you were giving amazing advice, and I had a moment where I sat and I went, You only give this type of advice to a person, A, that you love and b that you want the best for. And knowing some of the things that you've overcome in order to get there, what do you think it is that you did on your end where your dad was concerned in terms of what he couldn't do that allowed you to build that bridge of connection to be able to go, okay, that was, but this is what I can.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

I think it's just a life of lessons, you know? Like life of lessons and being a father myself. Yeah, I think being a father I am and being able to almost create a new model in terms of my family dynamic, in terms of what a father looks like. And I'm gonna I'm not the only one, I'm not gonna be like, oh, I'm an exception, um but to showcase that and not be the model that we'd previously seen. Yeah, to be consistent, be able to be in the line of work we are and still come home, still be present, to s for For my dad to see no matter where I was, my my girls were with me. They were they were always present. It's like if we went out to to lunch, it was just me and my dad, we've gone to the we've gone to the calf, we're sitting down, we're talking. My girls are gonna pop through the door at some point, you don't know when, but they're gonna turn up because part of the conversation is like, dad's been out for an hour, we need to go find him, Mum. What are we doing? Like he said he'll be back by now, so Mallie's the leaseholder, so she'll be like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Where is yeah, to this day, like why are you here? I'm probably gonna get like they finish at three. I'm gonna get a phone call at 3 30. Yeah, where are you? Where are you? You didn't pick us up. We know you went to Cambridge, but like what times a train get in? Like, like, couldn't you go on the earlier train to get back before we finish school? Like, this is a real conversation. These are like, why are you going to the gym at 6 pm? Couldn't you go in at 2 o'clock when we're at school? Because now we're ho these are real conversations, but though having that relationship with them, I guess is what sets them sets the new model for my dad or any of the other fathers in my family to be like, for whatever excuse or reason we had to be less committed or less consistent, well, you're doing it. So at the very least, we have to respect what you say and hear you out because we know it's gonna be real, it's gonna be honest, it's got and it's it's founded on something that isn't fake, you're not just talking. Yeah. Um yeah, it's it's very it's very much that, and I guess even how I've been able to grow in the absence of my dad being like missing at certain points in my life, that he's it's not he's not raised a son that's that's like, oh woe is me, this thing happened, it wasn't about it's kind of like I was able to find my own feet.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

Yeah, I get it, I get it, yeah. Um how do you balance protecting your girls with letting them be free to explore and make mistakes? Oh I know especially in this day and age, because Marcus, if I had little people to be looking after, brother, the stuff that I see around, and obviously I teach, right? So I I sometimes am exposed to a more harsher reality than what parents deal with at home based on what kids are thinking, some of the things that they're into what's happening within the do you know what I mean? Um but how do you how do you deal with that? And obviously you live in London, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

I mean honestly, like like Tiny can like my wife can vouch for me on this one, is that when with our first with Michaela, until she was about three or four, I didn't want to go anywhere. I hear it. I was like, I don't want you to leave the house, like change your clothes, make like because and it's like like and this is she's like she's tiny, but it's like no, I don't want I don't want like anyone weird to be looking at you funny, like I just have so many, it's like it'd be baking hot, and she was like in shorts. I'm like nah nah nah, you need to put some drives. It's like it started there, it's just because like you said, living in London, you the the characters of temperaments are so like everywhere, it's such uh it's just such a mix of so many different things all the time. There's like good things, bad things, craziness happening, like it's so so much happening all the time. Um, and being a new dad, a young dad as well, I was what 2024, it was it was a lot, it was a lot to kind of try and work out and try and be like, how do I be a dad, especially a dad to a girl, like knowing what like even I was like as a kid. It's like I don't want you to be around other kids, I don't use around other boys, like no, but um if I had a daughter, bro, she wouldn't be able to see what the yard would have. Bro, that's that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

When she's 16, I'll be like, okay, you can have a chapter.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Yeah, that it's it's genuinely like that, especially when you see other kids leaving the school, and like it's like you look at my child, I want to beat you up.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

Yeah, stay away from my daughter, stay away from my kids, they never even said anything to you, they've done anything to you. Just imagine you're ready to do little things like oh Angie, you know. But do you also think that because when I look at Mallie and I look at Michaela, yeah, two completely different temperaments, right? So I can tell I can almost feel now. The other thing is Mali's my little G because she's a Sagittarius. I remember when uh when were we? We'd done a show, uh, I think it was a 22 tour, we'd just done the O2 Arena, and my little my brother came, yeah, and they were in like the little after-party space, and I remember just picking her up to be like, yeah, yeah, let's just, you know, and she's watched the show, so it's not like I'm some regular random media that's decided just dipped into the rave and gonna pick her up. I'm gonna like it just looking like her whole look was like, listen, I'm gonna call it my parents are there, and they kind of seem to be alright. I reckon somebody knows you. And just in that moment as you were explaining, like you can see the different temperaments, right? Yeah, like Mallie is very much uh, listen, I'll tell you right now.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

Oh yeah, she has zero filter, brother, zero, absolutely zero filter.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

You look at Michaela, and they both think very deeply, but you can see Michaela almost the cogs are going more, but then you look at what Michaela's performance expression is, and and potentially Marcus, we're looking at a little West End superstar or someone. Does that make sense? Yeah, so like how do you think those little things, even like you're saying with Michaela, like for the first freeze, you're like, we just wanna it felt maybe more protected and sheltered, right? And then with Mali, maybe you caught a bit more of a balance, like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

I I think it was the youngest of definitely picks up on the lessons of the older. Yeah, so by the time by the time Michaela was at age where she was a lot more independent, Mally was kind of she never saw the protective side, she just went, Well, if she's doing it, I'm doing it. Yeah, I hear it. So that kind of like she bypassed the whole protective thing. She's like, I don't need you because I've been watching her day, yeah. I don't need you, I've worked it out. And she's all from the moment she could talk, she she's been, yeah, she's been she's been like, like, I want to do it myself. Like, from the moment she could talk, and those words came out of my mouth, she'd that's been consistent. I want to do it myself. Like, let me do it, bro. I want to do it myself, and then if she gets stuck, then she'd be like, Alright, help me. But it's like the first point of call is I want to do this myself. Yeah, she's got that out to do it. But I think the biggest part was I think it just came from from just like just time, experience with both of them, trying to work out their different temperaments, was that I started playing mini games with them in the house.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Got you.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

That was kind of the thing, was it's like, okay, I need you to learn about money, so I'm just gonna ask you questions about like exchange in the house. Like, if I give you this, what are you gonna give me in return? And that helped me just work out their temperament. Yeah, yeah. Michaela be like, yeah, sure, daddy, yeah. Like, look, if you give me this, I'll give you this. Oh, you don't have to give me anything. Manny's like, I'm taking this, this, this, I said, What are you gonna give me back?

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Nothing.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

Like, like, but then in other instances, she'd be like, she'd see the example we'd set, and then she'd come back and be like, actually, here, yeah. She'll go think about it and come back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Mikado do the opposite and be like, actually, Daddy, I I said I didn't want it, but I did want that. Like, so you'd start to see the the cogs turning by just like and that of them just problem solving the world, problem solving stuff that happens in the house. Um, yeah, and that was that's kind of the main thing. The main thing was was just little things around the house. Can you do this for me? Yes, no, and being able to gauge their temperaments was allowed me to work out how they would be with other people. How would what would their what are their natural responses? What are their responses when they're messing around? Yeah, what are their responses when they're in a mood? And it's like that kind of creates the framework of like trust in a way to be like, okay, if you were by yourself, what can I assume you're gonna do in these scenarios? And obviously, as parents, you have to kind of shape that, shape those responses. So for Michaela's like, okay, I know you're always gonna be polite, you're always gonna be friendly, you're always gonna like you're very self-aware, but you don't speak enough. So we need you to speak more. That shaped the way that I speak to her. So I speak to her less like a child and more like an adult because I need her to voice her thoughts and feelings as an adult. Like, like I need you to get to that quicker because I can't wait another five years to work that out. Like, you're gonna start kind of places independently, so let's get that that thing going. Yeah. On the other side, Mallie's responses are so unfiltered. Yo, bruv. She answers your phone, bruv.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

Yeah, yeah. I have to think about how I'm gonna talk to the assistant before I talk to the guy. Yeah, yeah. And heaven help anyone. Listen, if Mallie's playing the game on his phone, don't call him because she will just send your call to voicemail and time you've been like, and won't tell me, and won't tell me, it'll it'll be three, four, Mr. Phone, and people like, yo bro, and I'm like, Do you want to answer the phone? You're like, did I have my phone?

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Yeah, yeah, she just she's watching it disconnect, disconnect. Yeah, so what I'm doing is more important. But on her side, again, she's very affectionate, needs a filter. So, in the same way, like me and Mally have a more of a banter relationship where, like, well, if you're gonna be have that energy, I'm gonna match your energy, yeah, yeah. And like, if you cry, I'm sorry. But well, I expect that's the that's kind of you're gonna have kids or other people that are gonna match your energy. So there's like for you, I need you to work be able to work out when is this appropriate, when do I have to bit have a slight filter, when do I need to change ask the question in a different way. Maybe I just need to be wait a second, because not everyone is gonna be as polite as I am or as patient as I am, or we are at home, and that's kind of that's kind of just a framework we have is that everything we do at home needs to be transferable to the real world, and obviously they they're kids, so they have their space, like do what you're doing, but other times, okay, if you're gonna start acting like adults, we're gonna talk to you like adults so that you feel the response of an adult, and then you can make an adjustment. Like a big part of it, especially in like now that they're getting into their own events and they have their own social calendars, whether it's like Michaela's playing football, she does dance, she does drama, Matt Mallie's doing gymnastics, um like they they have their own calendars, but they require discipline, they will all those things. So when they come to me like, oh this thing's not working, this thing's that this thing's making me upset, it's like some days, yeah, I'm gonna be the affectionate dad. Other days it's kind of figure it out because once you reach a certain age, like the problem you have today they're not gonna care about tomorrow. So even down to timekeeping, let's say we're late for dance, or like Michaela's forgotten a script, or something something really like seems like nothing just purely based off I know what our industry looks like, it's in the entertainment, it's like I need you to do all the things now. Bring a pen, bring your pad, prepare your bag the night before, not because just because of good practice, because I'm saying it, but understand that in about three years' time, once you're 13, 14, the directors or the casting.

SPEAKER_02 21:39

This needs to be an inner repetition.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

This needs to be something because if you forget forget your script, they actually don't care. They can be like, oh well, like, or if you if you forget a routine and you haven't made notes on something, they're like, ah well, there's another kid that's put it together.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

And that's kind of me, my experiences growing up were like that, and I'm just like, well, let me give you a head. Start on it. Let's I can't gatekeep this information until you're 16, 17. Let me now give it to you now, as real as possible, and hopefully you start exercising that. And again, they're good kids, so they do. Like Michaela will bring a notepad, she'll bring a pen. She was like, Okay, cool, we did the choreography. All right, we've got five minutes. Let me make some notes on what happened. Oh, we did this script, they want us to do X, Y, and Z. I'm not gonna try to remember it. Let me write it down. And it's like these are practices that we use all the time.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

But I remember I didn't learn that until I was like in my 20s to do those things. I'm there struggling, trying to remember everything everyone told me over a whole rehearsal. I was like, well, if you're 11 and you've already got this practice in place by the time you're 21 into the real world, into the real into the real business of it all, you've got such a good head start. Like you already know how to operate in those environments without being stressed, without being tired, without being overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

Bless yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

How do you this is a hard question because I always ask you about this, and sometimes we have an awkward 10 to 15 second silence as you figure out the most diplomatic way to do it. I'm gonna take a water now. How do you take care of yourself whilst taking care of everything else? And you're allowed to say you don't, or you're figuring that out, or in fact, let me not put the words in your mouth. Take care of yourself whilst taking care of everything else.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

I go outside.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

You do, you love an outdoors.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go outside.

SPEAKER_02 23:40

We'll hide on the bus, but yeah, you love an outdoors.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

That's the other one. But yeah, I go outside. I go outside, and I mean, strangely enough, it took years for me to work out that's what was my thing. It took a yeah, like you try and find everything else that everyone else does, where it's like, I'm gonna watch a film, I'm gonna listen to music, I'm gonna I don't know, maybe I need to go out somewhere with someone, uh but then to to accept I actually enjoy my own company.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

So liberating. So liberating to hear you say that. Oh yeah, oh mate, it's don't let me derail you because I just need it to be like yeah, nice.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Nah, that's the that's the that's the same. To go outside by myself, like first thing in the morning, no one's on the phone, no one like like no headphones, just me and my thoughts, like never a mix up with you, Marcus.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

This is why I like hanging out with never a mix-up, never anything we need to talk about that's got nothing to do with what ain't got nothing to do with it. It's not my peak, like, yo. Yeah, so I I I get it.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

There's peace in your own Yeah, in whatever in whatever pocket of time I have, and if I have to find that space outside of the normal schedule, I'm gonna find it. If that's like going outside, five o'clock in the morning, go for a walk, just slightly early. Yeah, it is really early. It's really early.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

Slightly early angels, but sometimes it's what you've got to do.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

You've got to do like because the moment the phone goes off, the moment like the first WhatsApp message comes in, you're thinking about someone else's day, you're thinking about someone else's schedule and their timings and their expectations, and uh, if I don't do this, I'm gonna let this person down, or if I if I if I don't do this on time, they're gonna be disappointed. Oh, I bet I bet they're looking out for this thing to come in at this time. I was like, forget all of that. Let me have this space where my thoughts are my own, I cannot be influenced by anything else, and then I can rectify any any thoughts in my head that are kind of a little bit left, or yeah, I've got time to to rectify that problem before anyone else has a say. So if there's something that happened the night before or the day before, I've got this space to be like, okay, what let me put this like completely unbiased on the table and be like, okay, this, this, this, this. How important is any of these things? What needs to be done? And no one has put their two cents in to make me feel away about my decisions. And if later I can I can I need to ask advice or speak to someone about something. I've done the majority of the thinking already. I'm not coming to let's say I I speak to you, I'm not coming to you with a conversation that's four hours long, which requires one sentence to answer. And you're like, bro, like if you asked one question, this would have been I had an answer for you about two hours ago, but you've taken four hours to explain.

SPEAKER_02 26:37

And I'm realising that more now that I'm like, oh, you need this nightcreaker call. Yeah, yeah, just sphone on mute, go do the parts. No, I get it. So, in okay, cool. So then if you take the time, obviously, within your schedules, in terms of I know like you'll go out at five, you'll train, you'll do a gym workout, maybe go take the girls to school, have a little coffee. So you have those pockets of times for you, then in uh counter, well not even counter, but run in parallel along that, what brings you joy in fatherhood right now.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

It's not that it's not that complicated, it's just I think about it and it's like ah yeah. It's the growth, the growth of my children. It's incredible the evolution, seeing them change every single day. To like and like I think the new new one is we were adamant that Mali was determined to be vegan, at the very least vegetarian. All she wants is pasta. Okay. Pasta and cheese, and that's it, and rice. I said pasta, pasta cheese, and rice. Or any combination of the three, like rice, cheese and butter. Or or for breakfast, rice with pasta on the side with rice for breakfast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. She'll come, she'll come, she'll wake you up. I want can I have rice for breakfast? If not that, crackers and cheese. That was that was her diet, that's all she wanted. Dead serious dude, it's dead serious. Six o'clock in the morning. Can I can I have uh can I have some rice, please? You have asked her, like, what is it about like what I don't know now? I don't know. You've got to say rice and butter.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

Can she make it? Can she make it? Now she can, yeah. She gave it to you like that way.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She goes to the cupboard, she gets her chair, she comes up, she gets the stuff out, she does it. But the most amazing thing in the last like month or so is that she's just deciding on what she likes to like. She wants, I want chocolate, I want chicken, I want what you want what? Like, can I have oh I want fish, I want fish and batter, I want and we're just like, when when are all these changes happening? What is going on that little head of yours that is now exploring everything, isn't she? That yeah, like she um for all her unfilteredness, yeah, she doesn't like being seen in public. But again, about two months ago, youth service, she's like, I'm gonna I'm gonna play the ukulele next to you, Dad. Like, I'm gonna sit, I'm gonna go a little red ukulele, I'm gonna sit next to you and I'll play the ukulele. He's like, Alright, sure. Well, if you want in it, so I'll set I set up the chair next to me. Like, she's she's got the ukulele, she puts it out, she's got a little case, she um puts it, puts it down. I'm done. I'm done.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

She puts the ukulele case, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

She puts it, puts it down on the chair next to me. And then and then, but at the same time, every rehearsal she's been like, I kinda wanna sing, I don't want to sing though. Like, I'm I might just sing off like I'll play the ukulele, but I'll sing in the background. I was like, okay, sure. This service, she left me on my lonesome with this empty chair and a ukulele, and she's she walked up, and I'm thinking, oh yeah, here's your chair. She walks past, picks up the mic, and says, I'm singing. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah, we don't have ukulele today. And she just started singing like with the rest of the team, and I was like, This is incredible. Like that she's just decided that's what she wants to do now. What do you think made that little switch? I genuinely I have no idea. Have you asked her? Have you asked her? I haven't, you know.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

I think for the next episode, yeah, I'll bring you back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

But that wasn't even the end of it, same service. Like, praise the watch, it finishes. She walks off the stage, like, puts the mics down, walks off stage, and then go, ah, so next we have Mallie with a scripture reading. I'm looking like what she comes up, she comes up again, takes the mic, and she just starts going. And I'm just like, I'm looking at Tina in the front row and whose child is this? Because this isn't something she does. She doesn't speak in public, she doesn't like people looking at her. You look at her too long, she gets annoyed and walks off. She just said, No, I'm speaking today. Read the read the thing, walked off. Offering comes back on, picks up the mic, looks at me with the ukulele, and carries carries on. But it's the most incredible thing. I bet it is the most incredible thing to see see them grow, see them transition, see them change. Even Michaela used to cry before performing arts and stuff, like she'd get so nervous, and even that shift when she she'd get like cry before going on stage, and then she'd come out and then she'd just go, just belt out Whitney Houston, and like no fear, like like she did she did a Christmas thing once, and she was like seven, and she's there like flapping her wings while she's singing the song, and I was just like, Wait, what is like what is happening to these kids? What is what happens in their minds that just they go from this place to another? There's there must be something in the gap. I don't know what Jesus does in their sleep, but can I be honest?

SPEAKER_02 32:08

Mark, I I massively believe this. I believe that um the unseen uses the scene on the scene, yeah, right? So the unseen uses the scene on the scene. Working in education, I'm a massive believer, and and and hopefully I'll be able to implement this when I have my own family. But modelling has always been a more proficient form of teaching than instruction.

SPEAKER_00 32:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:38

And I feel like, and you won't see this because you're just dealing with everything in your world. I watch how intentionally you model what you do. So you will go and you'll find out all the information, yeah, and then you'll line it up and you'll be like, right, that's how I'm gonna execute it. How can they not evolve into better, greater, if their primary model is showing them what it should be? And and you know the thing I love most, and I remember I said this to you, I was like the first time we have to go roll out and and and bat a person because they did a madness, yeah, just call me.

SPEAKER_00 33:16

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

And I realize we'll probably never get that chance simply because the expectation, what I call the balanced expectation that you have built in them for what partnership will look like. Yeah, most brother, most if not all, applications will get shredded, brother. It's not coming through, right? Because the accounting will not match up to the account, yeah. And like that's testament to you and to Tan, right? Because what you did was the primary models were consistent and balanced enough, yeah, and not only that, but but malleable enough so that there'll always be little tweaks like, oh, actually, we used to do that, but we could do this. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 34:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

And I think kind of even though you'd never do that, but you have to take massive credit because what you're modelling to them, even in the things that you're trying to get better and do better and be right, like Marcus, when you think about it when we grew up, we heard way more than our parents ever either thought we did or acknowledged that we did. Yeah, and those things shaped who we became. Do you understand what I'm saying? And I think a massive part of why we potentially have relationships with our parents we do is because their vulnerabilities and their breakages, whilst we understand they weren't great, and we can accept what happened, what they did to us, we also can accept that A, dealing with a human who B is learning on the job with less information than what we had.

SPEAKER_01 34:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

Right? And there are things that I can even imagine you do in your dynamic with your dad where he's just like he's an aura of you, bro. I'm telling you that. Yeah. 100% because to be able to complete something that maybe a person didn't and never make them feel bad about it, right? And then it's almost like you're always leaving the homework out, like, here, if you just want to kind of have a good answer, you know what I'm saying? Like, how could he not be, you know? Listen, this takes me to my last question, which I'm really gonna love. Um, and if you don't give a good answer, I'm gonna give one for you.

SPEAKER_00 35:28

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 35:29

What another sip of water. Yeah, right. What do you hope your girls will say about you when they're all grown up?

SPEAKER_00 35:45

Because their characters are so different, I I have no idea. But I would hope. Um say that I was loving, caring, affectionate, protective, all the all the standard things. Um and just gave it gave them the the best opportunity to succeed in whatever they wanted to do. That their foundations were as strong as they could possibly be. I don't I don't I don't know much more than that. I don't I don't hope for much more than that. I think my expectations of what they may say are very simple. Um they don't need to be like, ah, he was the greatest in the world. I I I don't I don't think even if I got to see I would want that. I would want them to know just know that they were loved and be able to express that. And I think that would be it.

SPEAKER_02 36:45

Guys, thank you for hanging out with us today. Um as we said before, please like, subscribe, share Yopops Pody. Um we will have Mr. McNeish's um URLs and his tags below so you can have a look at that. But also, we're gonna be having him back on Yopop's Black Chat 100%. Um we hope you have an amazing rest of your week. Also, make sure that especially going into the winter, those connections, um, those conversations, the communities that we build and that we have, they're important. Connections are important. So until next time, guys, for myself, take it easy from Mr. McNeish. Take care.