Friendship | Part two

In this episode it is the part two of the duo discuss the pair discuss the power of friendship, its receding value in a transactional society and the need to stay connected to the right people in a disconnected world. Shean admits to his struggles failure of maintaining the friendships of value in his life, and his struggles in sustaining the new connections he makes based on his nature and work preference. His Dad offers different perspective that would lean him into balance through wisdom. Sit back, relax and enjoy another conversation with Yo Pops Podcast.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:09

I don't want to break where you are. No, because you you're exactly right. Like, when we were talking and discussing what we're going to talk about today, the first thing was just like, right, Dad, we let's talk about friendship recession. And for that, for the 20 minutes or however long we've been recording this, this is the first time that you've pulled and gone, well, no, no, because if we're talking about friendship recession, and you're like, well, what happens in a recession?

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Indeed, indeed. And that is, you know, people begin to lose things, and you find that people can't maintain our meet demands. You get what I mean? So in like manner, where this refra um the recession in friendship comes in is because other things, such as productivity, um, is taking um taking precedent over, you know, as a as a relationship in most in most cases. Um, the lack of the fact that people take on more responsibility uh rather than encourage and work with connectivity to their friends. So all of these things begin to cause this kind of recession and it needs to be consciously addressed. And the only way you're gonna you're gonna do that is as to not so much focus on the masses of friends in cyberspace, but is to say, okay, who are these three to five close friends who is going to be, and it's a bit like your hands, you know, they're five fingers, well, I mean fingers and a thumb, but um let's let's call it for the sake of communication. But by itself, it's great, it it works and it can do so much. But when you bring another five to work with it, it's so much more stronger. Yeah, it's so much more effective. And it says that it claps louder than if it's just by itself. And so I think when you have people, those kind of friends around you, then you are coming out of recession. Because whatever you need, they're gonna be there to support you emotionally, support you, you know, um spiritually, support you physically, because again, coming together is a major part of it because it helps you out of loneliness and depression and all of the other kind of psychological things that people experience. So that will definitely help to remove that kind of recession and bring health.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

So that question, what would you then say step one is in fixing the friendship recession?

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Identifying who you regard as your friend and take positive steps to rekindle that friendship that has been exchanged, are being eroded.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Step one, identification. Yes. You need to identify those that you share emotional and spiritual connectivity with. Right, yes, and then set up your world to then what was the second thing that you said? You got to proactively that's the word, you have to proactively engage it. You cannot wait for it to come to.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

No, no, you've got to proactively move towards it and simple interviews, simple effort, a telephone call, yeah, you know, an invite to Starbucks, anything, you know. Starbucks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

I love the way you call it Starbucks. We should start buck. When Starbucks were not gonna No, we don't have the S on the So some simple things.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

Okay, so let me let me let me show you down for quickly. So step one, identify, yeah. Step two, proactive execution.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Step three is to carry it out as quick as efficiently as you can. So plan something. Plan something, you know what I mean? So whatever that plan may be, it may be a walk in the park, it may be go for a walk with the dogs, it may be going go play games.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

Do you want a dog? Do you want a dog?

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Um no, I want a uh a grandson. Yes, I mean, so um, so let me um continue, but to pun off a dog, no, the reason why I say that at my age is a grandson, I hate a granddaughter, you know, whichever, you know.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

But the reason why I was saying it is because if you had uh said canine companion, when you wanted to walk, you'd have a companion.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

I mean you could have a baby, but yeah, I get it. Okay, cool. So step one, identification step two, proactivity, right, if that's even a word, and step three, plan something.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Of course, yes. Step four, have a grandson is like Dad.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

I need you to be serious.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Step four is you you you then has to help each each other, yeah, is I mean, um re refocus and what was and what had mattered to you both before things drift apart. Because there has to have been things that you all identify with each other as values, as valued. So you're recognizing that you're bringing value to each other and how it's going to help that person develop and um embraces life, rather than find themselves drifting into such things as depression, you know, loneliness and all of that.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

But I also generally find that those things that are incubated in the atmosphere and environment of isolation. And I think sometimes in like taking for my me, for example, I will often take myself out of an environment or a situation in order to prevent something happening that I don't want to have.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

And in the intention of doing something that would appear to be good, you're you're you're ushering in something far worse because you don't go through the life skills of like conflict resolution, compromise and these other things, because what you do is the minute you don't like something, you just you take yourself out of the environment, definitely. And so step one is like you said, identification, step two is um proactivity, and then we said step three was planning something, then step four, based on what you said, it feels like reciprocation because if you're walking with the person, then it's John at one stage I'm gonna lean on you a little bit, on the other stage you're gonna lean on me a little bit, indeed. Um, but without the support, yeah, support support, yeah, support each other.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Yeah, as I mean, and and I think that the uh the the thing that you offer each other is count, you know, the ability to to share in um common goals.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

It might even be a business, it may be whatever it is that you feel is going to make each other's lives better.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

You know what I mean? And I think when you do that, then you're really in addition to the hundreds or thousands that you have out there in cyberspace, but right there, that's for you.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

So I mean, Dad. Um the last question I wanted to ask you is this with regards to when people leave school or they leave college or university, uh generally people have quite big friendship groups. Um and I wanted to just investigate a little bit. What why do you think those friendships, and I call them core friendships, because a lot of the time in those moments, you're all trying to get to the next phase, right? So you're all becoming, right? So in that moment, a person will see what you're most vulnerable because we might only have a little bit of pasta to share together, and or it might be uh a tin of beans and we're gonna cut it down the middle. And what what causes those precious relationships to fade down?

SPEAKER_00 9:01

Two things that come to mind. Yeah, one career path, yeah, um, relationship path. Now, once you embark on those, then you have such a thing as productivity. Because I mean, obviously, if you are in a career, then you've got to be seen as being productive.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

Um, relationship responsibility. So put those together. You don't gonna you're not gonna have the same amount of time to meet up and go gallivanting, you know, in the park, on the street, you know, et cetera. You know what I mean? So that is one of the things that gradually erode that friendship. And if no effort is made to address it or point it out to the next person that, okay, I understand your career, I understand your responsibility, your relationship. However, you are gonna get to a point where career does not satisfy your needs and relationship gonna need injection or support from external forces, just naming your friends. And so that is the thing that severely um, you know, erode this kind of friendship. So it's not, it's never intentional for that to happen, but these things are expected. So it's that expectation that you must now live up to the new path that you have now chosen, because you are now of age, as it were, and these are general expectations from family, friends, neighbors, everybody alike. And sometimes people are so caught up in working these things that they forget that they need to have that social element to their lives.

SPEAKER_02 10:54

Can I ask you a very personal question? Can you remember your three closest friends from school? Or five, whatever number?

SPEAKER_00 11:04

Um, yes, I can remember them.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Um what are their names?

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Uh, one is called Roy McDonnell.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

Roy McDonald's? Yes, that's a great name. He sounded like a coronation check.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

The trapper name actually is Harold MacDonald.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Harold MacDonald.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Yes, that's correct.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

Okay, and then you've got uh is he still living in Bedford Crawl or he's in Kingston, I understand. Yeah, cool.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

And then you have one that's called Barrington, forest.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Well, we've we've heard about Barrington when they were going and doing things you shouldn't be doing when he saved you now.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Why did you have to say that?

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Because you wouldn't. I mean, we we were doing something. You can't be talking. What could you and Barrington have been up to then? It's any of my business.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

You didn't ask about friendship, isn't it? Okay, good. So we're gonna keep it okay. Keep it that way.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

So Roy Barrington.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

Yeah, and um, there's another lady that I had, which was a very good friend, her name was um Beverly Lee. Um, and she was from London. Um, just just do those were for me outstanding among all. Sorry, there's another one. Um, yes, that's yes, he perhaps would kill me if he didn't I didn't mention him. But his name is Michael Sean. Yeah, yes, he was Leo's grandfather. That's correct. Yeah, it was very, very, very good friends, really good friends.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Question. Okay, and if I actually let me reciprocate and go the other way. So growing up for me at school, I say Sylvan, Fraser, Lucy, Arden and Spiddler.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Red, right in terms of so what age were were they like their best?

SPEAKER_02 13:08

That's secondary school. Okay. That's I I kept the same core group of people because I started travelling. I finished my GCSEs, I did the first year of A-levels, and then Greenberg signed me pretty much after the first year of A levels. So my head in terms of just like and at that point, well, Sylvan's in Manchester playing football, Ardem's in Ipswich playing, well, you know, football and he's in Fanabarchi. Um Fraser was at uni, and he's in Newcastle, he was in Newcastle. Lou went to Manchester, um, and Spiddler was working.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Right, right. And so, yeah, they Yeah, what about the guy? Was it Lawrence?

SPEAKER_02 14:01

Do you know what you mean? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

Forgive him, Lawrence. Forgive him.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

Crafty, don't listen to me. Don't listen to my dad. Because we're talking about school, school. And Lawrence was a couple of years older than me. Okay, and when we first started out, Dad, it was more so he was DJing and he just heard I could sing.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

Yeah, he was he oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

But it was and then after like a year and a half, that's when because we'd spent so much time together, and then I think it must have been about a year late. I found out that our birthdays were like four days apart. Wow, yeah, and so like in terms of that kind of situation, it it it grew, but the other thing I'll say is that it's weird because I'd almost say that Lawrence almost became more like a a sibling, if that makes sense. Then, and not to say that obviously your friends aren't, but it is yeah, it it's strange, it's strange because in terms of yeah, it's funny you say that because I I sit back and go, oh my gosh, how could I forget Lawrence? But then it makes me then go, I feel like it may be in my head that I've got these divisions of where I keep people, yeah, and maybe that's what complicates my ability to stay connected because for whatever reason, like everybody that you've just that we've just mentioned there, two and a half? I spoke I spoke to Sylvan through text message a couple of weeks ago. Lucy through text message a couple of weeks ago. Um and Spidler because he's closer to your environment. Like where I live and stuff like I'll walk in, I'll I'll bump into Spidler and stuff like that, which is you know, um but in terms of Fraser, I should be shocked. You should be ashamed, that's what you should be. And that too.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

Yes, yeah, shock and shame. Yeah, yes, yes, um Fraser. I love the phrase.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

It's just like and you know what I'm like, which is not an excuse.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Forgive him phrase uh forgive me phrase.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

And you know what, because yeah, there is no excuse for that one. No, there's no excuse for any of them.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Yeah, yeah, all right. So that's what uh we have to to get out of this response.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

So this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna help each other. Yeah, and every Monday we're gonna set a time where we're gonna check in with our close friends, right? Okay, or we'll find a time in the week, Dad, where that will be our check-in, and I'm going to encourage you, and you're going to encourage me, yes. Um said something last podi, and you said it in a very cool way because you didn't make a big deal about it, but it was a big deal what you said. Um we all need connectivity, yeah. Without it, we die.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

Of course.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

When God made Adam and he was by himself, God himself would come down and hang out with him. Yeah, yeah, and he'd created a whole world for him to subdue and to dominate. And Adam could have got lost on the in the garden that just explored it, but and then he said it's not good.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

That's the key word there. It's not good, and I think a lot of especially men in these um times has forgotten that very powerful creative statement. It's not good for a man to be alone. It's not good for a man to be alone because you can't produce your grandchildren.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Honestly, you're like a dog with a bone. That's why I mean I need a dog.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

Because you is that just a mother dog, just give me the grandchild. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

Oh my god, do you know what on that note?

SPEAKER_02 18:14

Um, firstly, thank you to everybody that's taking the time to hang out with us this morning. You can see what I'm dealing with, right? I'm trying to have for me, Sean Williams, and my father. Blessings to everyone, guys. Have a great rest of your week. Please send in your pictures, not your pictures, your your requests. Pictures up the job.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Please send in your questions and requests, anything you'd like to hear us talk about.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Please don't forget to like, subscribe, and share. Yeah. Obviously, my father's social media is at Bishop LA Williams. That's right. Um, and mine is at Sean Williams World. But also please follow at your pops potty um on Instagram and on TikTok and every other platform you have from us. Enjoy the sunshine, check in on your friends. Love is the chief cornerstone. Indeed.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Have a blessed day.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

Bye guys.